Tales of the Falls
by The Cowardly Christian
Summary: Just a series of one-shots, also a fan resource. Feel free to ADOPT whatever you want. Also Feel free to leave me Story ideas. I'm also willing to be bribed in 'Shake up the falls' chapters to continue three one-shot's that you like. Rated M for a reason! You've been warned!
1. Little Dipper: Dipper grows a spine

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

Slenderman watched as once more Dipper was mocked for his height. Right, I can't take this anymore! Time for a rewrite!

As if using an invisible typewriter he began to press the air with a chiming noise...not too long...words began to appear in thin air...

 **DIPPER PINES QUIETLY FUMED AS HIS SILLY SISTER PLAYFULLY TEASED HIM...**

Bit by bit the words began to twist and distort...the universe around the monster moaned and whimpered as the proverbial knife was slashed into the heart of it's very being with each key stroke...It's essence corrupted by the most dreadful of Cerberus Syndrome...until finally...

 **DIPPER PINES WAS FILLED WITH RIGHTEOUS YET TRANQUIL FURY AS HIS UNGRATEFUL BITCH OF A SISTER RIDICULED HIM...**

Slenderman laughed as he invisibly watched reality re-write itself...and the carnage that followed...

-Little Dipper!" Finished Mable with a laugh. Dipper said nothing. "I see...so that's how it's going to be..." He said simply as he got a glass of orange juice and took a drink.

"Um, that's good OJ." Said Dipper right before he smashed the glass right into Mable's face. "GAH!" Screamed Mable as the glass shards messed up her face two ways from Sunday!

"I rescued you from Gnomes!" Shouted Dipper as he stamped down on her leg with almost inhuman strength, snapping it in two.

"I sacrificed my dignity and risked my life to save you from a ghost!" Shouted Dipper as he punched her in the side, breaking a rib.

"I risked getting locked away by the government solving a conspiracy to make you feel better!" Shouted Dipper as he ignored her cries of pain and punched again, breaking another rib.

"I gave up my shot With Wendy, let her get HURT just to rescue your stupid pig!" Screamed Dipper as he knocked her to the ground!

Mable whimpered as she tried to crawl away. "Where's my respect!?" Screamed Dipper darkly as he kicked her in the stomach! And then just started punching her over and over again!

"WHERE'S MY RESPECT!?"

SMACK!

"WHERE'S MY RESPECT!?"

SMACK!

"WHERE'S MY RESPECT!?"

SMACK!

"WHERE'S MY RESPECT!?"

SMACK!

YOU GONNA GIVE ME MY RESPECT!?

SMACK!

WHERE'S MY RESPECT!?

Dipper stoped and walked away. Mable cried out in agony as she took this break in the storm of pain to try to get her bearings-

CRACK!

Only to give up when Dipper returned smacking her around with an iron bar!

"I'M DONE WITH YOUR NONSENSE!

CRACK!

I'M DONE WITH YOU NEVER TAKING THINGS SERIOUS!

CRACK!

I'M DONE WITH YOUR MOCKERY!

CRACK!

I'M DONE ALWAYS HELPING YOU BACK UP AT MY OWN EXPENSE!

CRACK!

MOSTLY I'M DONE BEING YOUR BROTHER!

Mable cries of agony were ignored as Dipper grabbed her by the hair and forcibly dragged her to the toilet and dunked her head in it!

GAH!

Screamed Mable under the water!

FROM NOW ON, YOUR FIGHTING YOUR OWN BATTLES!

Screamed Dipper as he slammed the toilet seat on her head multiple times!

FROM NOW ON, I'M GOING SOLO!

He chucked her out of the toilet and threw her onto the floor.

WHO'S THE ALPHA TWIN NOW, BITCH!?

"Y-you are!" Whimpered a terrified Mable.

Dipper wiped his hands off on a washcloth and tossed it at her face.

"Clean yourself up." He spat darkly before he walked out of the room...

...

 **YES! SWEET CATHARSIS! I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW LONG I'VE WAITED FOR THIS!** Shouted Slenderman excitedly. He then turns to the Reader.

 **May all our stories end so well...until next time!  
** He blows them a kiss!

…...  
TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

Love me, flame me, review me


	2. Pool madness

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...…...

Slenderman whistled a cheerful tune as he appeared invisibly outside the Gravity Falls Pool, he poured dozens of galleons of snow on the ground just outside it...he then sprinkles a special 'potion' around in said snow.

He then pulled out a megaphone, enchanted it to be immediately believed by anyone hearing it, and to cause panic.

 **ATTENTION POOL PATRONS! REMAIN CALM! WE'VE JUST BEEN INFORMED THAT THE POOL IS INFESTED BY A SPECIAL BREED OF THAT FISH THAT SWIMS UP WIENERS THAT CAN ALSO EFFECT WOMAN TOO!**

He paused and listend happily as the pool quickly devolved into chaos **Heh. Music, sweet music.** He says to himself satisfied. He then brings up the Megaphone again:

 **REMAIN CALM! TO KILL THE FISH AND IT'S FATAL DISEASE, SIMPLY ROLL AROUND NAKED IN THE SNOW!**

Their was quick flurry of patrons smashing down the fence, ripping off their clothes, and rolling in the snow.

Dipper Pines looked down at his exposed groin buried in the snow...and turned deathly pale. "Uh, oh." He turned to his sister who was busy making a naked snow angel.

"Uh...Mable? I'm going to need a BIG favor from you." Admitted a flustered Dipper awkwardly. Mable took one look at Dippers 'situation'...and vomited. "Oh, no. Not again." Said a mortified Mable as she began to put on rubber gloves...

Slenderman laughed at the scene and turned to the readers.

 **May all our stories end so well...until next time!**

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	3. Nothing but nickles

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

Slenderman turns to the reader, **Couldn't think of anything to do today...so i think I'm just going to posses a bunch of people and make them hit Mable in the groin with a sack of nickles...**

...Hillbilly music plays...

Mable smiled at the sight of Waddles and Gompers getting hitched "Aw, isn't that the sweetest-

CRACK!

GAH!

Cried Mable as Stan inexplicably hit her with nickles...

...

Mable fixes her glitter gun-

CRACK!

OW!

WHY WADDLES!?

...

Mable holds up a baseball glove and gets ready to-

CRACK!

CHEESE AND CRACKERS!

WHY WENDY!?

...

Mable reaches over to get a candy bar-

CRACK!

SON OF A NUTCRACKER!

WHY PANDA MAN!?

...

YO! HO! Shouts Pirate Mable. "Let's Plunder the Seven sea's me-

BOOM!

BLOOD IT!

WHO PUTS NICKLES IN CANNONS!?

...

Mable flirts with Mermando at the pool. "Hey Mermando, you should do that thing that I like-

CRACK!

MOMMAS LITTLE PIE!

NOT THAT! I DO NOT LIKE THAT MERMANDO!

...

Mable walks into the room.. "Seriously guys, what is wrong with-

CRACK!

STUPID GLOCKENSPIEL!

I HATE YOU DIPPER!

...

Mable paints art-

CRACK!

GRANDMA HAVE MERCY!

DANG IT SOOS!

...

Mable turns on the intercom. "Good afternoon passengers, this is your captain-

CRACK!

MOTHER OF MIA!

I TRUSTED YOU SNOWMAN!

...

Mable dressed as a ghost running through a Cemetery-

CRACK!

GAH! NICKLES!

"THOMPSON!...Actually, I may have had that one coming...

...

Mable puts money in a vending machine-

CRACK!

WHY!?

I KNEW IT! I KNEW VENDING MACHINES WOULD OVERTHROW US!

...

Mable is trying to hide from everyone in the kitchen...when the phone rings... "Hello?" She asks into the phone. "Hold on, I'll check...PHONE CALL FOR A BAG OF NICK-

CRACK!

HOW'D I NOT SEE THAT COMING!?

...

Mable feeds an acorn to a squirrel-

CRACK!

OW!

"Yeah, you better run, gnome!" She shouts. "Well...at least their was only one...they usually travel in gro-

CRACK!

NO!

CRACK!

WHY!

CRACK!

YOU DIDN'T DUMP ME, I DUMPED-

CRACK!

GAH!...

...

Mable dose the wormy dance-

CRACK!

ET TU AIOSHIMA!?

...

A bag of nickles on the sidewalk-

CRASH!

GAH!

Cried out Mable as she fell on top of it.

Mable groaned in pain as she rolled over-

CRACK!

OH, COME ON!

"How did I even get here?! I was in my bed for crying out loud!"

...

Mable sighed. "Doctor, be honest...Will I ever have kid-

CRACK!

HIPPOCRATIC VIOLATION!

...

"Right! Everyone back off! I've had a terrible day, and I will shoot the next person who comes near-

CRACK!

HOW!?

...

Slenderman turns to the reader. **This chapter was dedicated to the loving Memory of Mable's peace of mind...**

 **May all our stories end so well...until next time!**

 **…...**

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	4. 12 year old Wendy?

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

Dipper was mixing chemicals, he pauses. "Huh, let's see... He pauses as he reads the journal. "Add a clipping of eye of newt, to the moose extract- He dose that and turns the page. -Only as a last resort, as that might create a demon mold?!" He turns to the chemicals just as they react badly. "Seriously?! Again!? Who writes sentences like-

BOOM!

12 year old Wendy Corduroy and her friend Tambry hear the explosion and run to see if Dipper is alright. They throw open the door- "Dipper! are you-

"GAH!" Screams Dipper as he runs out of the room. His clothes covered in demonic mold! "Their gonna eat my flesh! My precious flesh! Get them off me!" Screamed Dipper as he frantically discarded all his clothes! He turns to the girls!

"Girls! quickly! Did any of that mold get on my skin!?" He screamed.

the girls quickly look him over. "Oh, no! I can see it! It's all disgusting and nasty!" Screamed Wendy suddenly.

"What!? Where!?" Shouts Dipper. "Right there!" Shouts Wendy pointing to his crotch. Dipper looks down at it. "Where!? I don't see anything there!"

Tambry snickers. "I'm not surprised!" And that's when the situation hits Dipper hard...he was naked...in front of two girls...who were clearly making fun of him...

Dipper turned scarlet as he covered himself "Frack both of you." Said Dipper annoyed.

"Oh...I can frack." Said Wendy teasingly. "The question is: is it even possible for you to frack?"

"I'm going with NO." Said Tambry. "At least, that's viral consensus on all the millions of hits on all the pictures I just sent."

"YOU DID WHAT!?" Screamed Dipper. "Oh, hey! Your already a meme!" Exclaimed Tambry as she showed a picture of Dipper looking down at his crotch saying 'I don't see anything there'.

An embarrassed Dipper tried to ignore the girls laughing as he tries to walk back to his room with some dignity- which proved impossible when Wendy slapped his rear.

Wendy chuckles as she watches Dipper walk away. "I tell you, I feel bad for whatever girl he ends up with."

Tambry smirks. "So you feel sorry for yourself." Now it was Wendy's turn to be embarrassed. "Shut up Tambry!" She hissed quietly...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	5. Time Travelers pig: Punishment

Tales of the Falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

Slenderman whistled a jaunty tune as he rewrote reality; typing away at seemingly empty air as the light was snuffed out and the darkness consumed everything...words appeared in the air:...

 **Mable loved her prodigal pig...and all was well with the world...**

Bit by bit Slenderman typed on his seemingly invisible typewriter...bit by bit the words were twisted and corrupted...

 **Mable was severely disciplined for her selfishness...**

Slenderman supped a cup of hot Joe(the blood of Joe not the coffee) as reality once more twisted to his whims...

...

Mable couldn't remember when her father got here...she had no idea how he found out about her recent 'adventure'...all she knew was that he was yelling at her...and spanking her!

After a hundred spanks, Mr. Pines sat her up. "I'm very disappointed in you Mable! You let your friend get hurt just to have a pig you knew for what- A DAY!? I'm taking Waddles away! If your a GOOD girl, I MIGHT let you have him back by the end of the summer."

He turns to Dipper. "Dipper...I know you were just trying to be a good big brother...but you took it too far...Letting Wendy get hurt just because your sister overreacted? That is not okay!...I won't spank you or punish you like I did Mable since you were just trying to do the right by your sister...but you still have to confess what happened to Wendy...whatever punishment she deems appropriate...you have to do it!"

Dipper nods in shame and walks off to do just that. He glares down at Mable. "That goes for you two! Go and ask Wendy for forgiveness! And whatever she says for punishment goes!"

Mable was in tears...but she agrees and goes to do that...

Mr. Pines rounds on Stan. "And as for you! What kind of person just lets their great niece stay outside banging her head without sending her to the hospital or a shrink!?" He screams...

Stan gulps...

...

Slenderman laughs and turns to the reader, **Yes! It warms the heart...and other parts to see everyone get EXACTLY what they deserve...**

 **May all our stories end so well...until next time!**

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	6. Who shot gideon?

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...Responses...

Jss2141: thank you

MysterD47: Loved the image...any chance you could show me similar ones? Also, I think I can do it. The making it awkward and having Dipper be average will be tricky...but I like a challenge...

nightmaster000: Sounds interesting; I think I can do that

...

"Alright Dipper Pines! We got motive, ballistics and a paper trail a mile wide! Now why don't you just admit to shooting Gideon and save us a lot of trouble!" Demanded Sheriff Blubs.

"But I didn't do it!" Insisted Dipper. "Look...I'll admit that I came to the town meeting with the intent of ambushing him...but after the meeting I went to the bathroom to apply my Camouflage paint-

...Flashback...

 _"BLAST! I took Mables make-up kit by mistake!" Shouted a horrified Dipper as he saw he was now covered in lady make-up._

 _Suddenly the door opened and Stan came in. "Oh! Sorry, Mrs! I thought this was the men's room!" He shouted apologetic._

 _"Uh...that's fine...sweet thing!" Said a Dipper in a poor imitation of a girls voice-_

 _ **BANG!**_

 _Went a gunshot noise right outside the window..._

...

-After applying my very masculine war paint, my Grunkle Stan came in and we both heard the gunshot that that hit Gideon outside...and that's all that really needs to be said about the whole thing." Lied Dipper smoothly.

"And Stan can back this up?" Asked Blubs. "Absolutely!...but anything else he tells you is a filthy lie." Says Dipper flatly.

"Now, wait just a minute! Doesn't that make him an unreliable witness then?" Asked Deputy Durland.

Dipper groaned. "Okay...never mind...you can believe everything he says...just- just don't let what happened leave this station, please?" He begged.

"Absolutely!" Agreed both Durland and Blubs...while crossing fingers behind their backs...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	7. Not so little problem

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **AN: I'm doing some 'spring cleaning'. Meaning; I'm moving a lot of my 'one-shots' into this story to make everything easier to keep track of.**

…...Responses...

nightmaster000: you can suggest crossover ideas...they'll just take longer. Your ideas in order: Maybe, I like it!

MysterD47: look; I'll repeat the deal I've been giving to everyone else...publish a chapter of 'Shake up the falls' and I'll update THREE stories of your choice...actually, I'll make you a separate offer: if you find and send me a another image that I LIKE like the last one you sent me, I'll update ONE story of your choice(TWO if it's in comic form). And any other ones after that will earn you ONE more(or two if it's a comic). Just to be clear; I have to LIKE it; so absolutely NO incest, Yuri, Yaoi, or sex scenes(I HATE that)...I like awkward situations like 'locked outside naked' and 'clothes stolen'; stuff like that. What do you say?

…...

Dipper was excited! He whistled a triumphant tune as he walked through the forest back to the Mystery Shack. He found the size-altering stone! Once he fired it up, he and Mabel would be the same height! Then no one would laugh at-

"-at you again? Oh, maybe not this week...but they will next week. Just like they did last week. And the week before that. And the week before that"...

Dipper breaks from his pleasant thoughts in shock! To the right of the road was a tent he was fairly sure hadn't been there; within it lay the freakiest(Yet somehow indescribable) Gypsy Fortuneteller he'd ever seen!

"Hello, Dipper Pines! I've been expecting you...Or should I call you 'little Dipper'." He teased.

Dipper frowned at this. "Okay man, I get it. I've seen this situation in enough movies. Obviously your some kinda real fortuneteller with something to 'help' with my problem...well guess what? Whatever it is; I don't need it." He holds up the mystic stone cockily. "With this bad boy, Mabel won't be teasing me ever again." He states as he continues to walk past him.

"Oh, you mean like how she stopped teasing you after you were proven right about the gnomes?" Asked the Gypsy.

Dipper stopped in his tracks. "Wait, what?" He asked confused.

The gypsy snaps his fingers and causes the crystal ball to show the scene at the diner where Mabel and Stan mocked his masculinity...

The Gypsy shakes his head at this. "You rescue her from gnomes, fight off lake monsters, fight living wax dummies, bite the bullet for her when it came to Gideon, saved her from ghosts...yet still she mocks you...(snort) well that's gratitude for you I suppose." He states sardonically as he tosses down the **ungrateful pig** card.

Dipper was floored by this! He'd never thought of it like that...but now that he brought it up...

"And let's not forget today's debacle!" Continues the Gypsy as he snaps his fingers and causes the channel to change to the scene where Mabel mocks his height.

Dipper finds himself gritting his teeth. The Gypsy mockingly makes to look like he's pondering deeply.

"Refresh my memory...what have you done lately?" He ticks them off on his finger. "You risked getting arrested by the government trying to make Mabel feel better about herself. Then you get beaten up by a videogame...and...and something else...something...about a pig?" While doing this he tosses down the **shackles of fate** card.

Dipper just growled as he began pacing back and forth. "I don't believe it...but your right! I've done so much for her...and what do I get in return? Ridicule? Mockery?"

"A gruncle that seems to hate your guts?" States the Gypsy as he changes the channel once more-

 _...Yeesh! How am I related to that?..._

 _...The kid's a loser. He's weak! He's an utter embarrassment! I just wanna get rid of him..._

Dipper couldn't help it anymore...he was crying... "Why...what did I do deserve this?"

The Gypsy hide a smirk...he was tempted to just let things go as they were...but no; there was still a chance the blasted 'Status Quo' could reassert itself...besides...some philosophizing needs to be done!

"Well...if it helps...I don't think Mabel is trying to be _intentionally_ cruel"... He pauses to toss down **The Amnesiac** Card.

"Indeed, she likes to indulge in what we in my 'profession' like to call Aesop Amnesia...she's completely aware of how her actions have hurt others, but she's so afraid of growing up that she still refuses to change...and that's just part one of her mental instability"...

"Wait, what? Whoa! Hold on there!" Shouts Dipper suddenly. "Mabel might be... _quirky_...a lot...but she's not insane."

"She went crazy for a month over a PIG she barely knew for a day and didn't shed a tear over Wendy- HER FRIEND -getting hurt to get her said pig...mind explaining to me how that's _healthy_ behavior?

Dipper pales...he couldn't...he really couldn't...

Suddenly he feels determined. "Alright...if she really dose have a problem...I'll stand by her...no matter what...

The Gypsy rolled his eyes. "I'm shocked." He said in a deadpan sort of way.

He then brings out more cards. "Well, let's just see where that gets you, why don't we?"

The **Rising** **Autumn** and **Key to success** cards...

"Oh!...at summers end you will be given a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make all your dreams come true...

Dippers looks at this with interest...

The **Broken bond** and **Bittersweet farewell** cards

"Oh, but accepting it will mean parting ways with someone you care about deeply."

"mabel". Said Dipper under his breath.

The Gypsy nods then continues...

The **Desperate deal** and **Tragic mistake** cards.

"To stop you leaving; she will make a deal with someone she shouldn't...and in doing so will bring down calamity to everyone she loves...

Dipper jumps back in fright as the cards burst into flames...the flames...the screaming...the terror...it all flashes before Dippers eyes...

"Oh, Mabel." Groans Dipper. "What have you done?"

The Gypsy kept at it. Switching to ruin stones and tossing them into the air. He watches them land.

"The two of you will reconcile...You will give up the 'golden opportunity' to help her deal with growing up...in fairness she dose offer to let you do it anyway...but you still wish to be by her..."

Dipper smiles..."well that doesn't sound so bad..." He says happily.

"Oh, really?" States the Gypsy flatly. "Well, why don't we take a peek into the consequences of this 'decision' shall we?"

He turns to the crystal ball and turns it on again...

...…...

 _A forty-something year old Dipper enters his parents house and takes off his fast-food uniform with a sigh as he looks down at his meager paycheck._

 _A forty-something Mabel (wearing a crazy sweater and surrounded by dozens of cats); looks up._

" _Hey Dipping sauce! Guess what!? I made a 50 ft butterfly made of comics...which I then set ablaze! I'm still the goddess of destruction!...also the police are here again to fine us for burning stuff without a permit...also for unintended arson damage to the neighbors house"_

" _Wait, what!?" Shouts Dipper just as a policeman steps out of the shadows and snatches up Dipper's paycheck._

" _Ah, come on man! I worked overtime the whole week at the drive-through to earn that!" Shouts Dipper. But the Officer had already left._

 _Dipper feels a drop of water on his head...the ceiling was leaking..._

" _I also created a new water slide for Waddles!"_

 _CRASH!_

 _The ceiling gives way as a giant hog crashes down and breaks the floor; water soaking everything!_

 _The cats scatter in panic; breaking various household objects as they do so._

 _Mabel laughs at this. "Ah, they're cute when their crazy!" She shouts as she takes a picture of them._

 _Dipper sighs as he goes to check the emergency fund...only to find it empty..._

" _Hey Dipping sauce! Can we have Pizza tonight!? Duck-tective will be on!" Shouts the ever cheerful yet oblivious Mabel._

 _Dipper just hangs his head...and cries..._

…...

Dipper stares at all this horrified. "WHAT THE BLOOD!?" Screams Dipper.

The Gypsy puts down the **Two birds on a wire** card...

… **.( music starts playing in the background)...**

 **Two birds on a wire  
One tries to fly away  
And the other  
Watches him close  
From that wire **

"She gets over her fear of growing up...but only when your at her side...why would she have to fear it then?"

 **She says she wants to as well  
But she is a liar... **

After all...why grow up when you have a sibling who's always there to love, protect, and give you whatever you want whenever you guilt-trip him enough? Who's willing to never marry, have no independent life of his own, and dose enough work to provide for both of you?"

Dipper was truly terrified now...it felt like a dark abyss had opened before him...it seemed to be devouring his future...

 **I'll believe it all  
There's nothing I won't understand  
I'll believe it all  
I won't let go of your hand... **

"I- I need to tell-

"Tell who?" Asked the Gypsy. "The sister who called you a dork for believing in ghosts AFTER seeing gnomes, living wax, and mystic psychotic psychics? Or your grunkle who apparently wouldn't know supernatural if it smacked him in the face?"

The Gypsy shook his head. "Let me tell you what'll happen if you go back to your Shack right now and confront them with this: Despite everything you've been through they won't believe you and mock you, you'll have an argument with them or another conflict will pop up, then you have a wacky misadventure, you have a hug, say your sorry, learn a 'valuable' life lesson...which you immediately forget next week come the next hi-jinx! Rinse and repeat...sound familiar?" Asked the Gypsy inquisitively.

 **Two birds on a wire  
One says come on  
And the other says  
I'm tired  
The sky is overcast  
And I'm sorry  
One more or one less  
Nobody's worried... **

Dipper paled. "Your...your right...that's exactly what happens! Week after week! How did I not see this before!?"

Dipper gets down on his hands and knees. "Wha- What am I suppose to do?" He sobs.

The gypsy once more lies down The **Shackles of fate** card...

 **Two birds of a feather  
Say that they're always  
Gonna stay together  
But one's never goin' to  
Let go of that wire  
She says that she will...  
But she's just a liar **

"What else can you do? You fly off that wire and NEVER look back!"

The Gypsy jumps onto the table; card still in hand. "You want to break free of this cycle? You need to kill the Status Quo! You need to Wham this episode of your life so hard that it can't be brushed off!" He shouts as he rips the Shackles card in two...

 **Two birds on a wire  
One tries to stay  
And the other... **

A desperate Dipper looks up the strange man. "How?" He pleads.

The Gypsy smirks as he twiddles the **Desperate Deal** card behind his back.

"I can take it away; your love for your family, your willingness to forgive them, your bond with them...I can take it all away"...

He suddenly appears to be in deep thought. "Hmmm...you know ordinarily I'd charge for this...but since I like you AND since said bond is actually pretty valuable...I'll make removing it my fee..and in exchange I'll give you a clue about finding that 'author' of yours."

Dipper looked at his journal hesitantly. "I...I really don't know."

The gypsy sighs. "Dipper my boy...your relationship with your sister is essentially 'Co-dependent and Enabler'...is such a dysfunctional relationship really any good for you? For Mabel? Do you really want her to be a man-child/crazy cat lady?"

Dipper sighs...Then shakes his hand. "Do what you have to do." He states simply.

The Gypsy smirks. "With pleasure my boy." He says as his hands began to glow.

Dipper braced himself. _"_ _It's for the best."_ He rationalizes to himself. _For me and Mabel._

And just like that; the Gypsy's hands were plunged into the very essence of Dippers being .

The Gypsy laughed as he lifted up a strange rope. "Ah, the ties that bind us." He says with malicious glee. And with a flick of the wrist, the bond was severed. The universe quaked as an essential component of it's infrastructure was violently destroyed.

…...

Mabel gasped; she fell to the floor of the Shack and clutched her heart. She didn't know how or why...But something horrible had just happened...

…...

Dipper keeled over and feel into a deep sleep. The Gypsy breathe in the savory aroma of the love of family being deleted and replaced with sweet apathy and savory contempt. He also sprinkles a pinch of endorphin's on all thoughts of being independent to help his transition; with all the tenderness and care of someone marinating a ham their about to devour...

The Gypsy suddenly had a thought. "Huh...I wonder if I should have elaborated that those memories of Stan were out of context and that future I showed was just one possible future among many...NAH!" Shouted SLENDERMAN nastily as he tore his Gypsy disguise asunder.

He turns to the readers. **If your wondering why Dipper was OOC and willing to listen to the words of a complete stranger...I used the plot device!**

"Hello!" Shouted a nearby female robot...

With one last cackle, Slenderman vanished and invisibly watched as the chaos unfolds...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **The song is by '** **REGINA SPEKTOR' and the song is 'Two birds on a wire'...**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	8. Roadside Divergence A1

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...Responses...

nightmaster000: I'm somewhat familiar with the 'transcended' and 'reverse' universes..but I've never heard of the gravity Rises one...what's it about? Other than that I love all the ideas you've given me!

RasenganFin: You keep asking for 'more'. And I'm just going to keep telling you what I tell everyone else: I accept bribes in 'Shake up the Falls' chapters.

...

Beyond time...beyond space...beyond comprehension...Beyond...well beyond...Something woke...something stirred...something sniffed...something smirked...something...was broken...

...

Dipper Pines was in a panic! Things had been complicated enough as it is with just Candy Now all these other girls were mad at him, yelling at him, and-

 **Okay, okay! Whoa! Stop everything!** Everyone turned around...and wet themselves.

Standing before them was a hideous demonic entity...It wore a business suite...it had multiple, long, slender arms...and no face!

It shook it's head. **Look I get that your trying to go for the 'Being a playboy is wrong' Aesop- Which is fine, don't get me wrong...But how you implemented it was flawed.**

Dipper and the girls had no idea what this thing was talking about...But they were too scared to say or do anything.

The thing continues. **For instance; we never see or hear Dipper do anything really romantic! Not to mention he clearly didn't know the girls for more then a few hours apiece tops!**

It shakes it's head as it turns to them and stares at them intently. **So what's the moral here? 'Girls will misinterpret any interaction you have with them as deeply romantic and meaningful to you both, so giving attention to more than one at once is a bad idea?'** The creature shook it's head. **I can't be the only one to see how messed up that is.**

He then points to Candy(who wets herself again). **And don't think I've forgotten about you, young lady. Being all huffy over Dippers 'flirting'...But what about your friend Mabel? She flirts with everything that breathes...yet you treat it as charming...So what's the moral there? 'Girls can flirt with anyone with no problem, but guys need to reign it in because women can't be trusted not to overreact?' There's a nice double standard there!**

He then smiles. **But enough of the after-school special...Time to give the audience what they came for: HARD-CORE NUDITY!**

WAIT, WHAT!? Screamed everyone as the creature tossed down an Extra-strength Lust potion.

The creature laughed as Dipper was 'raped' by all those girls at once, the fact that Stan gets eaten during this is just the icing on the cake!

 **May all our stories end so well...until next time!**

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	9. Be careful what you Soos for! A1

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...…...Responses...

NyaNyaKittyFace: your reviews In order: Huh, good idea, nope, fair enough

MysterD47: Sorry, I already found that gallery LAST year. But I definitely WOULD have counted that if I HADN'T...so your on the right track. P.S. I think I'm going to publish that streaking story of yours next, just a heads up.

...

Soos couldn't believe it. Standing in front of him was a 5 year old Wendy. Apparently, she followed the "cute boy" (aka dipper) through a time hole. The paradox police tried to grab her. But she escaped through another time hole.

But not before she learned Mabel and dipper's reasons for letting themselves get captured. Soos couldn't believe it... They did all that...for me? Thought Soos amazed

It was at that moment a new time-hole opened.

Soos quickly hid young Wendy. Just in time to be presented with the "Time Wish".

He already knew he'd repay the twins...he glanced over at Young Wendy's hiding spot.

Paradox-free, huh? Thought Soos. And so he wished it. Dipper and Mabel were freshened up, and he got his infinity-slice.

"And that's not all dudes!" Exclaimed Soos. He then turned around and shouted: "Okay, you can come out now!" Dipper and Mable gaped at Young Wendy.

"Yeah, she followed you guys, and ended up here! And I just wished to make it possible for her to stay here without erasing "Present" Wendy. No need to thank me dipper." Said Soos with a sly wink.

Dipper looked at Soos in disbelief for a moment..."Uh, Soos...you do realize she's 7 years younger than me right?" Soos paled. He hadn't thought of that!

Uh... "-and where's she going to live?" Interjected Mabel. "Who's going to take care of her?"

Soos grew even paler..."Okay...I may not have thought this through." Confessed a bashful Soo...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	10. MysterD47 idea: Streaking curse

**Tales of the falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...Responses...

nightmaster000: Sounds interesting I might just do that idea then, that idea also sounds good, no problem.

MysterD47: Uh...the naked Danger one I guess? Why do you ask?

...

Bill Cipher looked at the instructions that his Boss gave him confused. _Why would he send me to do this? He usually likes messing with the Pines twins himself..._ Thinks Cipher confused...then shrugs.

 _Ah, whatever. His plan is genius and he's temporarily empowered me to (somewhat) manipulate the physical realm for the day...I'm just going to go for it!_

He swoops down on a sleeping Mable-

 **BOO!**

 **GAH!**

Mable screams as she wakes up, she screams harder as she sees Bill. "Relax shooting Star! Your still dreaming!" He lied smoothly.

Mable looked at him cautiously. "Really?" Bill laughed. "Kid, your talking to a giant triangle with a bow tie! Of course your dreaming!"

Mable smiles. "Okay, that makes sense." She said relieved. Bill smiles. "That's the spirit! Now, what would you like to do!? It's your dream! No consequences!"

Mable giggles. "I want to streak!" She shouts as she tears off her clothes!

Bill laughed. "Great idea! In fact ,why stop there? Bring your loved one's into this dream and give them a 'streaking curse'!"

Mable laughed! "Great idea! Dippers first!" Mable then tries to summon him into the room- Bill discretely snaps his fingers behind his back.

Dipper suddenly appears in the room. "Wait, what!?" He shouts confused.

"STREAKING CURSE!" Shouts Mable as she shoots him with lightning(which is really just Bill working the effects).

Before Dipper can understand what's happening, his legs are trying to run as fast as they can! No matter what he dose, they won't obey him!

"GAH!" Cries out Dipper as he tries to garb his bed to keep from running!

"Oh, no you don't! This is my dream1 And were having fun!" Shouts Mable as she takes advantage of Dippers preoccupied state to strip him-

"A dream? Mable stop!" Shouts Dipper, he tries to resist. But between his legs and vomiting at the sight of Mables naked body...he was helpless as Mable rips off his clothes.

Dipper glared. "Fine, I'm naked- But you can forget about me going outside!" He snaps! Mable just smirks. "Well see about that Bro-Bro!" She shouts as she starts to tickle him.

This was all it took to get Dipper to let go. "GAH! DON'T LOOK AT ME! DON'T LOOK AT ME! DON'T LOOK AT ME! DON'T LOOK AT ME!" He repeated over and over as to add insult to injury, before he let go, Mable bound his hands so he couldn't cover himself...

On the way out of the Shack he ran past Wendy- Wendy double-taked. "Was that...Dipper?" She asked confused, not sure of what she just saw-

"STREAKING CURSE!" Shouts Mable as she zaps Wendy as she too runs past...before Wendy knows it..she's running too...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Well, MysterD47 I hope you liked this...I'll continue it when inspired...or bribed**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	11. One tweaked Ice Bag

**Tales of the falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...Responses...

nightmaster000: it depends on my inspiration...but mainly which one I get bribed to do...

MysterD47: Absolutely NO Yaoi, Yuri, Incest, or Sex scenes. I like stuff like clothes stolen or locked outside naked. Also, it has to be a NEW one I've never seen before. I'll update ONE story for every image. TWO for any that are comics. And of course THREE if you publish a chapter of 'Shake up the Falls'.

...

Deep within the darkest abyss...Slenderman played a game...

 **BOOK ROULETTE!** Screamed the Eldritch Abomination as he threw multiple books into the air and blasted them. As the pages fell like confetti..Slenderman snatched them up and randomly pieced the words together...

 **Let's see...Create living fork boy?...Nah...Figure out a way to solve the Middle East crisis and then tell no one?...been there, did that...Make Wendy a main character?...Hmmm...**

...…...

It was a quiet day at the mystery Shack...until Grunkle Stan came into the room.

"All right, all right, look alive, people. I need someone to go hammer up these signs in the spooky part of the forest." States the old man gruffly.

"Not it!" Shouted Dipper. "Not it!" Shouted Mabel. "Uh, also not it." Said Soos.

"Nobody asked you, Soos." Said Grunkle Stan flatly. "I know, and I'm comfortable with that." States the man child as he eats a chocolate bar.

While this went on, an invisible shadow snuck it's way into the room...

Stan then turns to the slacker red head at the register. "Wendy, I need you to put up this sign!" Shouts Stan.

Wendy then lazily pretends to reach for the sign. "I would, but I, ugh, can't, ugh, reach it, ugh..."

Mabel and Dipper felt a chill go down their spine as the shadow slipped past them and made it's way-

"I'd fire all of you if I could-

slup

-Right into Grunkle Stans body!

-WHAT AM I SAYING!? OF COURSE I CAN FIRE YOU ALL!" Screamed Grunkle Stan suddenly much to everyone's shock and dismay.

He then points a finger at Wendy. "AND I'LL START WITH YOU GIRLY! IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR BUTT IN GEAR AND HANG UP THESE POSTERS!"

Before Wendy could say anything the posters were slapped into her arms and she was forcibly shoved out of the room...leaving the rest of the gang stunned. "What the Frack just happened here?" Said a freaked out Mabel...

...…..

"Okay! Okay! I'm going!" Shouts Wendy as Stan pushes her out and slams the door behind her. _What is with Mr. Pines? Is he on a new medication or something?_ Thinks a confused and annoyed Wendy as she begins to walk away from the door-

 **RIP!**

 _Huh, I didn't know girls wore boxers._ Thought a flustered Dipper as he watched through the window as Wendy's pants got caught and ripped off completely on the door. A mortified Wendy tries to get back in...only to find the door locked!

Dipper quickly signals Wendy to come over to the window...so he can give him his pants.

Wendy flustered. "Wow...thanks Dipper." She states gratefully. "But what about you?"

Dipper chuckles nervously. "Oh, I'll be fine. I-

"HEY THERE SWEET CHEEKS! NICE VIEW OF THE MOON!" Shouts someone inside the Shack just before a bunch of catcalls and camera flashes started.

Well...I picked a bad day to go commando. Thinks Dipper as he flusters, grabs a pillow to cover himself, and begins to walk away from the window-

But not before a grateful Wendy whispers thank you and gives a him a light peck on the check...

Suddenly the catcalls didn't seem so bad...

...

Meanwhile, a somewhat amnesiac and disoriented Stan was vomiting into a waste basket. "Whoa...what got into me?" He asks before vomiting again...

…...Later...

Dipper was pricing-up the merchandise when Wendy came back looking through a weird journal...and laughing?

"Wendy, what's so funny?" Asked Dipper curiously.

Wendy smirked. "Some nut wrote this crazy journal claiming that Gravity Falls has 'a dark supernatural underbelly'." She snorts dismissively.

"Yeah, right! what a crock! The only thing 'supernatural' in this rinky-dink town is Stan's ability to keep this death trap of a Shack in business."

Without another word, she walks away while tossing the journal into the garbage. Dipper, his curiosity getting the better of him. Waits for her to leave and reaches into the-

 **PAUSE**

The world froze as Slenderman looked down at the scene. **Okay...that didn't work...looks like a more 'aggressive' stance is in order.**

With a snap of his fingers he rewinds time to back before Wendy finds the Journal...and with yet another snap of his finger...he summons said Journal to his hands and makes a few 'changes' to it...

…Later...

Dipper was pricing-up the merchandise when Wendy came back looking through a weird journal...AND CRYING!?

A concerned Dipper ran after her into a nearby storage room...

"Wendy...what's wrong?" Asked Dipper sympathetically. Without a word, a tearful Wendy slides the weird journal over to Dipper...

Dipper cautiously picks it up...and turns to the first page...his eyes widen...taped to the inside cover is a picture of a young Wendy being held by who Dipper could only assume was her mother...and bellow that...

 ** _Property of Mary Corduroy..._**

…later...

"Unfortunately, my suspicions have been confirmed. I'm being watched. I must hide this book before he finds it. Remember: in Gravity Falls there is no one you can trust"... Says Dipper to himself as he reads the last **BLOODSTAINED** page...

A now deathly pale Dipper looked up at his crush as she sobs...he didn't know what to say...what could he say? How could ANYONE, anywhere...make this right?...

"You know what's really messed up?" Asked Wendy between sobs. "Not once since she vanished from my life have I ever talked, said anything, mentioned, or even thought about her! And if not for this I probably would've KEPT doing that for the rest of the Summer! What kind of horrible person am I!?" She screams.

Not knowing what else to do...Dipper leaned over to give her a comforting hug-

CRASH!

HALLO!

Shouts Mabel dressed as a clown.

"Hey, guys! You'll never-

MABEL NOT NOW! Screams an irritated Dipper.

Mabel takes one look at the scene...and slowly backs out of the room without another word...

Dipper goes back to giving Wendy a hug...after a moment...she hugs back...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	12. Pigs Paradox

**Tales of the falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...Responses...

nightmaster000: You must've missed me AN, I'm moving a bunch of my already existing one-shots to this to make it easier to update them AND for readers to find them

MysterD47: Already seen it, already seen it, already seen it, I think the site messed up the formatting on the fourth one, it didn't send me anywhere. Could you please send it again?

RasenganFin:(already resolved)

...

 **SPLASH!**

"My pants! They're shrinking!" Screamed the goth

Everyone laughed and jeered at the goths misfortune...including Dipper. "That'll do pig, That'll do." Said the now (slightly) happier boy as he petted his sisters new pig.

Yes; many who looked upon this bitter-sweet yet heartwarming/comical ending liked it a lot...But The Slenderman who watched invisibly from afar...did not.

" **Oh, surprise. Surprise. The cannon ending...how original."** Snarled Slenderman sarcastically. He then posts a flame

 **GAH! WHY DO WE BURN!?**

Which immediately spreads and burns down the entire universe! Slenderman then leaves the cast of this universe to die...and heads to another alternate gravity falls universe...

…...

 **Let me guess...Mabel gets pig and Wendy gets a black eye...again!** Snarls Slenderman in irritated boredom, he then flames this universe too...

…...

Slenderman snarls in frustration as he flames a 'Wacky Wizards of Wall Street' X Gravity Falls crossover universe to ashes.

 **You give them nigh-invulnerable wizard allies...you give Mabel and Dipper magic...but you keep the ending the same!? Why even make the crossover!?**

…...

" **Oh, a 'Alchemists King's' X Gravity Falls crossover!? Well, I can only assume they'll use their uber-strong alien allies or advanced elf tech to Save the pig AND Wendy!"** States Slenderman with mock drama...only to once more see the now predictable cannon ending...

 **OH, whoops! My mistake! Apparently their allies were either too busy/lazy/incompetent to change anything! And Mabel and Dipper 'conveniently' forgot to use their cannon-changing tech!...why...why bother making the crossover?! You might as well have just made two different, unrelated stories and be done with it!"** Snarls Slenderman as he once more flames yet another gravity falls universe to rubble...

…...

 **GAH!**

Screams Slenderman as he flames a hundred disappointing Gravity Falls universes to dust at once!

" **The pig! The black eye! The pig! The black eye! Hundreds of cannon endings as far as they eye can see! What is wrong with everyone!? If I wanted cannon I would've just stayed home and watched like a good mindless drone with no imagination!"**

"Hey frak you pal!" Shouts a voice from nearby.

Slenderman turns around to see the burnt remains of a creator...who(somehow) survived the destruction of his universe-

"All these flames...theses PM's filled with locust and brimstone! You know, no one's pointing a gun to your head to 'like' our homes and families! Don't like!? Don't watch! If you think you can do better, do it! Stop complaining and DO it better!"

Slenderman just stares at him blankly...then(somehow) smiles. **"Hey...your right! If you want something done right, do it yourself!"**

It taps his head to the half dead man. **"Thank you for showing me the light. As a thank you...I'll make your death quick!"** Laughs Slenderman as he blows the man up...

…...

 **SPLASH!**

"My pants! They're shrinking!" Screamed the goth.

Everyone laughed and jeered at the goths misfortune...including Dipper. "That'll do pig, That'll do." Said the now (slightly) happier boy as he petted his sisters new pig...

Oblivious to the invisible eldritch abomination watching them all. It rubs its hands with anticipation " **Right...now we do things my way!"** First, he sends off a bolt of lightning in a seemingly random direction-

 **GAH! MY ARM!**

Quickly he levitates toward Wendy and resumes time again. He then quickly whispers a thought into the laughing red-heads mind.

 _ **Wow, Dipper was right. Tight pants ARE overrated.**_ Wendy chuckled at this. _Yeah...he really called that one...wait a minute..._

Wendy had been dazed by the blow to her head to...but now that she thought about it...

 _He said "-_ _also that tight pants are overrated."...and then...and then something...something else..._ _What did Dipper say before that?..._ " _Wendy, I just wanted to say that, well I just wanted say that people makes mistakes, and when they do, you should forgive them...He said that right before I got hit..._

Lost in her thoughts...she obliviously began to wander around the fairground as she gathered her feelings...

" _It's almost...it's almost like Dipper KNEW what was about to happen"..._ Wendy scoffs at this thought and shakes her head. _"_ _What am I thinking!? that's crazy!"_ Suddenly the memory of a certain convenience store reared it's ugly head _...on the other hand I was attacked by ghosts earlier this summer...so maybe having a more open mind...but wait! That makes even less sense!_ Exclaims Wendy to herself as the memory of the oh-so adorable Lamby dance surfaced as well. _If Dipper knew...why didn't he stop it? I-_

I'M TELLING YOU! I WAS FRAMED!

Screamed a voice that shook every timber within a ten block radius. Wendy turns around and sees those weird guys from earlier who finally dunked Stan.

Before Wendy knew what she was doing; she was filled with the inexplicable urge to sneak up on them and eavesdrop...

"Shut it Blendin! It's bad enough that freak lightning injured Dundgren and burnt out our time-tape measures! If on top of that I go deaf from your whining; so help me I'll-

"You'll what?" Said a voice. Everyone turned around to see...a perfectly ordinary businessman.

The man straightens his tie before introducing himself "Hello there! The names **S** tanley; **S** tanley **Lenderman**. Temporal attorney at law!" Said the man as he gave his business card to Lolph. "And I'm here to be Mr. Blandin's legal representative!"

"Wait, what?...but I don't have an attorney"- "Of course you do!" Interrupted the lawyer as he snaps his fingers at him.

Suddenly Blendin's eyes glazed over... "Oh! That's right! I do have a lawyer...I guess." Stated Blendin a touch disoriented.

Lolph shook his head. "Now wait just a minute! This is highly irregular! You can't just-

"Fret not my boy. I'm completely authorized to do this- Said the lawyer as he again snaps his fingers.

Suddenly Lolph's eyes glaze over as well. "Oh...so you are...my mistake...apparently." Said Lolph awkwardly as if he wasn't quite sure he believed what he was saying...

The lawyer nodded. "Right now that that's settled...let's get down to business!" He snatches up the remains of Blendin's time tape. "Using new 'technology', I should be able to holographicaly display this devices temporal-web history-

"Wait, what!? Dude! Not cool!" Shouts a flustered Blendin.

The Lawyer held out a placating hand as he chuckled. "Relax my boy, were all guys here...tell you what? Why don't I play some music while we watch to get us in the spirit of things?"

Lolph groaned. "Is that really necessary- But it was too late; the music had started and the images was displayed for all to see...

 **Hey!**

Screamed Wendy as she's hit by a ball for the second time

 **Everytime I try to go in alone I get shut down,**

 **Locked up and held captive in the clutches of my down**

"It is possible that the forces of time naturally conspire to undo any new outcomes?" Asks Dipper out loud morbidly. "No, I just need to try again!" He shouts out in determination!

 **go back**

"Third times the charm!"

 **go forth**

"Fifth times the charm!"

 **go back**

"The twentieth time...is the twentieth time...

 **I'm sick with vertigo**

Dipper vomits into a trashcan after time-jumping too fast...

 **Weary of my ways, this days never gonna end...**

Dipper slammed his head down on the booth in frustration...

 **I wanna feel a new day**  
 **(There's gotta be more than this)**

Dipper bites yet another pen in two as he eyes his calculations...

 **I wanna see a new day  
(There's gotta be more)**

Dipper practiced several make-shift throws..

 **I wanna be a new day  
(There's gotta be more)**

Dipper measures the height of a startled Wendy...

 **I wanna live a new day with you  
(There's just gotta be more)**

"Maybe if I throw with my other hand"... Mumbles Dipper to himself.

 **Right here, right now  
Under the stars- **

"I promise you my heart." Whispered Dipper to himself as he glances into Wendy's wondrous green eyes

 **Cause it starts today!**

Dipper checked the make-shift barometer to calculate the wind speeds...

 **I wanna rise,  
I wanna touch the other side  
(It starts today!)**

"Maybe electromagnetic radiation is responsible?" Asks Dipper as he uses a make-shift bolometer...

 **I wanna soar  
I wanna reach right out for more  
(Cause it starts today!)**

Dipper bangs on the make-shift creepmeter in irritation...

 **I wanna rise,  
I wanna touch the other side  
(It starts today!)**

Dipper shoos away a nosy patron as he calculates the make-shift gravimeter...

 **I wanna soar,  
I wanna reach right out for more  
(Cause it starts today!)**

Dipper bangs his head over and over on a lamppost...

 **Today today  
Today today today  
Today**

Dipper desperately shakes the make-shift Katharometer to find something...anything to explain why he sucked at this!

 **Can't feel like I can take this day anymore  
Want to be with you Under the sky full of stars  
With a heart that wants more  
(Today)**

The make-shift hygrometer's results...were disappointing...

 **I'll memorize the rhythm no dam can hold**

Dipper checks the stopwatch. "Okay, it took 5 seconds to hit her." He calculates...

 **Done' drivin by a source cramping my soul.  
(Today)**

Dipper grits his teeth as Robbie asks Wendy out for the hundreth time!

 **Won't be like any day we have seen  
I swear I'll change everything (e-e-e-e-everything)**

"FATE CAN EAT IT!" Screams a frustrated Dipper; While nearby fair patrons looked on in concern...

 **Right here right now  
Under the stars-**

"I'd promise you my heart-" Whispers Dipper after Wendy longingly...

 **Cause it starts today!**

OW! MY EYE!

 **Today!**

OW! MY EYE!

 **Today!**

OW! MY EYE!

 **Cause it starts today!...**

Wendy just gapes in horror...she couldn't make out or hear half of what was happening on the jumbled images from this far away...but she'd seen enough to be mad! "WHAT THE BLOOD!" She screams enraged...before slapping her mouth shut and realizing what a dumb thing that was to do...

Lolph suddenly goes on alert. "Did you hear that!?" He asks. "Nope, and neither did you." States the lawyer as he snaps his fingers again. Suddenly the cops eyes glaze over and he agrees...

Wendy doesn't have time to thank her luck; she's too busy being furious! _How...how could Dipper do that to me? Have me get hit over and over again?_ Wendy can actually feel her eyes get hot with tears. _How...how could you Dipper? I thought we were friends! I thought you cared about me! Why would you-_

-"Wendy, how badly do you want that stuffed animal thing?" Said the Dipper on the hologram suddenly as the Lawyer cranked up the volume. "More than anything in the world, Dipper." Said Wendy intensely...

Wendy blinked several times uncomprehendingly...then slapped her forehead. _Yeah, that sounds about right..._ She inwardly groused irritably.

Then she starts thinking. _Wait...if Dipper was determined to do this for me...why'd he stop? Why-_

Wendy's thought process stopped dead in their tracks as the images cleared up completely...and reached their conclusion...

…...

It was a dazed, conflicted, and confused Wendy that found herself wandering away from the time police when the projector had finished it's tale...suddenly she found herself almost tripping over something.

She looks down and sees a familiar ball, she looks up to see a familiar game booth...

Wendy glares at it. "This is your fault!" She screams as she tosses the ball at it in anger-

 **CRACK! GAH! MY EYE!**

Wendy groaned as she nursed yet another black eye...she glared at the booth with rage...then contemplation... _Wait...hold the phone...How was it possible for Dipper to mess up so many times? And needing to go to crazy impossible lengths to win...I mean yeah, he's not the most athletic person...but still...somethings fishy here..._

Seeing that the Carney in charge of it was away...Wendy went over to check out the booth...within minutes she was screaming to the heavens-

 **STANFORD PINES!**

Stanford Pines; hard at work re-rigging the dunk tank to make it impossible for anyone to win again...paled at the familiar sound of an enraged woman screaming his name...and quickly made a run for it...

…...

Slenderman watched this last bit with amusement; he then rips off the head of a nearby patron and begins to drink their brain through a straw. He then turns to the reader and begins to speak in a snobby, British accent. **Right, so I have this 'theory' that Stan helping Dipper out in 'Roadside Attraction' was motivated by guilt since he ruined Dipper's 'chances' and kept the secret to himself.**

He paused to take another sip of gray matter with his pinky finger extended. **I shall not quoth 117 reasons for this belief. Reason the first: This theorem seems plausible to me because-**

Suddenly he sees Wendy heading toward the twins. **Shoot! Okay, we'll talk never! The main event is happening now!** Shouts Slenderman back in his normal voice as he rips off another patrons head and begins to eat his brain like popcorn...while also making sure to whisper a few last minute thoughts into Wendy's ear...

The pines twins were chilling out by the frozen snack stand. Mabel was feeding Waddles and Dipper was trying to forget today's events by burying himself into his journal.

Suddenly, Dipper sees Wendy coming through his peripherals. Despite the circumstances, Dipper smiled! It was always good to see Wendy after all!

"Hey Wendy, how are-

"I know what happened guys, Blendin, the time-tape, everything." Stated Wendy harshly.

The twins stared at her in pale uncomprehending horror. Mabel quickly put Waddles behind her back protectively as she glanced back and forth between her friend and brother concerned.

And Dipper...Dipper threw himself on his hands and knees in front of Wendy-

"I'm sorry Wendy! I'm so sorry! I'm sorry for not being strong or smart enough to keep you from getting hurt!" Screamed Dipper as all the guilt, despair, and anxiety he'd been bottling up today came gushing out like a geyser. "I'll do whatever it takes to earn your forgiveness!" He then pulls out the journal. "There's a spell here that'll make me your slave forever, I'll give it to you if we can at LEAST stay friends!" He pleads.

Mabel and Wendy looked on this display stunned. On top of Wendy's anger...she now felt uncomfortable and flustered. She groaned. "Wow..okay..Dipper...please get up." Stated Wendy awkwardly.

Dipper dose as she asks confused. "Wait...aren't you mad at me?"

Wendy groans. "I...I just don't know Dipper...on the one hand, yes I am mad that you let me get hurt seemingly a hundred times- She stopped mid-sentence. "Wait...was I hit a bunch of times...or just one time? Dose it count if I only remember one and the rest was erased because you went back to make it not happen... but then it DID happen...only in a way it didn't...but the amount of times didn't go up...I mean they sorta did...maybe, kinda, in away that they also didn't- GAH!" She cried out suddenly as this time-speaking gave her a headache. "Whatever! You know what I mean!" The two twins hastily nodded.

Then Wendy got even more flustered. "And then on the other hand...you were mainly doing it to make things right with me(it seemed like she never did check to see if he was alright afterward and make sure he knew that she didn't blame him for what happened in the original timeline)...and because I put it in your head that that stupid stuffed animal was more important then anything in the world...

Despite the situation Wendy smiled at Dipper. "It was sweet you took my teen melodrama seriously and were willing to go to such lengths to do that for me...unbelievably stupid...but sweet nonetheless."

Then she takes a deep breath. "As for choosing your sister over me"... Dipper felt his insides churn with anxiety.

Wendy sighed. "Look Dipper...if my siblings were in a similar situation...I'd probably have done the same thing...your a good brother...that's something I can admire, even respect...

Dipper felt hope rise in his heart-

"That being said...I am also pissed that you did that!" Exclaimed Wendy suddenly.

Dipper blanched in confusion. "Wait, what!?...but you just said-

Wendy groaned. "I know. I know...and I meant that...but I'm also...I kinda." Wendy let out a really annoyed growl as she pulled at her hair. "Look I'm just really confused and mad right now, okay!" She confessed exasperated.

She then turns to Mabel. "And I'm especially furious with you!" She snaps while pointing an accusatory finger at the sweatred-twin.

"Wait, what!?" Exclaims both twins confused. "Wha- Why are you mad at me?" Asked Mable perplexed.

Wendy gave her a 'are you serious look'. "You were perfectly okay with throwing me- YOUR FRIEND -under the bus for a PIG you knew for only what? A day?!"

Mabel paled...now that it was brought to her attention...that was horrible! "But- I- That is-" She stuttered, so frazzled by shame and horror by these realizations that she couldn't form a proper comeback for once.

And Wendy wasn't done yet! "And don't think I haven't figured out your little scam! How could you put your brother through that!?" She snaps.

Both twins looked at her aghast. "Scam? Wendy, what are you talking about?" Asked a confused Dipper.

It was with a heavy heart that Wendy turned to Dipper. (Quasi-)Mad at him she maybe...but he didn't deserve to be back stabbed by someone he loved!

"Dipper think about it...how could she have survived an entire month of banging her head in one spot? With no food, water, or bathroom...what was to stop her from listening on when you'd get there, bribing soos and dressing herself up bad to fool you?"

Both twins gasped! What she was saying was horrible...but neither could argue with the logic!

Dipper felt a dark pit appear in his stomach...he turned to Mabel...his sister...the one person in Gravity Falls who he always thought he could trust...

"Mabel...it's not true right?...please tell me it's not true!" He pleaded.

Mabel was in tears! "I...I don't know!" She admitted to everyone's horror. "When you put things back to normal, that never happened!...hadn't happened?...couldn't happen now?...GAH! I HATE TIME TRAVEL!" Shouted a teary Mabel...

…...

Invisible to all...Slenderman greedily gulped up Mabels succulent tears.

He then ripped off the balls of some random patrons and cooked them while skewered on kabobs...all the while sporting a 'DEATH TO DYSFUNCTIONAL SIBLING BONDS!' foam finger.

 **Hmmm...I wonder if I should tell them that it's more likely that Mabel's merely a victim of a poorly written plot-hole...and she's most likely innocent?...NAH! LET'S GIVE THIS BIOTCH SOME MUCH NEEDED CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT! HA! HA!**

Laughs Slenderman Malevolently as he leans over to whisper something into Dippers ear...

…...

 _ **How did she remember any of this at all?**_ This was the thought that rang through Dippers head...and feed the fire of his doubt...

"Wait a minute- Said Dipper in horrified realization. "How did you remember any of this? Or what happened? Or what I did? I didn't bring you with me when I last time jumped! You shouldn't have remembered anything!"

Mabel was flabberghasted! "What?...I don't...I don't know! One moment I had no Waddles...the next I did and I knew everything!" She explained desperately.

"Just like that? Magically?" Stated a skeptical and furious Wendy.

"Look, I don't know! I didn't question it! I was too busy being happy about having Waddles back!"

A tearful, frightened Mabel turned to Dipper. "Dipper, please I-

"I don't want to hear it Mabel! I can't even look at you right now!" Snapped an equally tearful Dipper, the seeming betrayal of his only sibling giving him the feeling of a thousand red hot knives in his body.

He turned around to storm off. "I'm going home!" He shouts.

"Oh, your going somewhere...but it ain't home."

The three Mystery Shack gang members turned to behold Slenderman...back inside his Temporal Lawyer disguise and accompanied by Lolph, Dundgren, and Blendin.

Wendy's eye widened; she'd been so busy stewing in these numerous epiphanies...she'd completely forgotten about them!

"Lolph stepped forward. "Mabel and Dipper Pines! By Time Baby Decree; your both under arrest!"

"What? Why!?" Exclaimed Dipper.

"You stole a dangerous piece of equipment that could've destroyed the universe if used improperly just to be a cockblock. And then let an innocent man take the fall for it." Stated Slenderman flatly.

Dipper was speechless...

Wendy was not. "Wait, cockblock? What are you talking about-

"And used it to win a pig!" Interrupted Blendin. "Don't forget that!"

Slenderman gave him a weird look. "What are you talking about? They didn't steal it to do that! If anything using it nearly LOST them the pig! Get your facts straight you edjit!" Snapped Slenderman at a chastised Blendin, before pausing the world and turning to the reader.

 **If it wasn't clear; that last little tangent directed at Blendin; was a minor Bash directed at the episode 'Blendin's Game'...Right, TIME IN!**

Shouts Slenderman as the world UNpauses. He gestures to the three kids. "Right, arrest them all! They are to be punished with a 'special' Globnar of my own design!" He cackled.

"Wait, what!?" Screamed the Mystery Shack gang.

"Wait a minute!" Shouts Lolph. "I get Mabel and Dipper, but why the other girl? Far as I can tell she had nothing to do with it!"

Dundgren nodded. "Yeah, and since when do lawyers decide the punishment, and what do you mean a Globnar of you own-

"GAH! Come on guys! I'm tired! And the Chapter is already obscenely long! Just roll with it!" Shouts an annoyed Slenderman as he snaps his fingers, causing the time police to immediately fall into line to shackle and escort the three very confused kid adventurers(and one bewildered pig) into the time vortex.

Slenderman turns back to the reader one last time. **HATERS GONNA HATE!** Screamed Slenderman as he flipped off the audience before diving backward into the vortex...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **That last 'what the hell hero' comment directed at Dipper was inspired by '** **Depthsofthemind', thank you man! Appreciated it!**

 **The song is a parody of TOBYMAC's song 'Tonight'**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	13. Those who don't learn from history

**Tales of the falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...Responses...

MysterD47: seen it, loved it!(good for one update, so which one do you want?), it still didn't take me anywhere. How about you just send me a link to one of the comics, instead of the site? That way maybe I'll be able to find it indirectly.

...

Deep within the shadowy confines of the abyss...the eldritch abomination known as **Slenderman** laughed as he watched his TV; which currently showed 'Blendin's Game', 'Northwest Mansion Noir', and 'Tale of two Stans'.

" **HA! HA! Now this is good stuff! Great dysfunctional family drama! So realistic! So dark! I love it!"** He then turns to glare at a picture containing a certain pair of twins. " **Why can't you two be more like that!?"** He shouts as he tosses a knife at the picture-

…..Meanwhile, in another universe...

GAH! Screams Dipper in agony as a knife appears in his back...

…...

Slenderman sighed and turned to the readers. **"I don't know about the rest of you...but the main theme I got from this show was 'Personal growth and independence is bad when it inconveniences your family...especially when it's a girl family member.'"**

Slenderman shrugged. **"Don't get me wrong, if they hadn't oversimplified it and used it in moderation...it still could've been a great moral to a great show."** Slenderman conceded...then glared.

 **But these yahoos took this moral too far to the extreme!...personally, I blame the networks influence...stupid executive 'family friendly' meddling...**

And then he got a nasty grin as he got an idea. " **So why not tip the scales the other way?..."**

...In yet another universe...

It was night time in Piedmont California...and Dipper Pines slept peacefully...oblivious to the shadow that now whispered in his ear...

…...One week later...

"Ladies and gentleman! I give you: Perpetual motion!" Shouts an excited Dipper Pines as he unveils his invention amongst thunderous applause...

….One day later...

Mom and Dad Pines left Mabel in the waiting room as they took Dipper into the Principal's office...no one noticed the strange shadow flying into the principal...

"Mr and Mrs. Pines...allow me to be frank. You have two kids: one of them is incredibly gifted, the other one is standing outside of this room and her name's Mabel." Stated the principal excitedly.

"What are you saying?" Asked Mrs. Pines.

The Principal smiled like a snake oil salesman. "I'm saying your son, Dipper, is a GENIUS! All his teachers are going bananas over his science fair experiment!" Gives Dipper a pamphlet. "Ya ever heard of West Coast Tech? Best College in the country. Their graduates turn science fiction into science FACT! The admissions team is visiting tomorrow to check out Dipper's experiment. Their even willing to overlook the whole 'underage' technicality! Your son may be a future millionaire, Mr. Pines."

Dipper didn't know what to say as his family and principal congratulated him. _Is...is this really happening?...are all my dreams...really coming true?_ Dipper wasn't ashamed to admit it...he was tearing up right now...

A thought occurred to Mrs Pines. "But what about our little free spirit, Mabel?"

The Principal snorts dismissively. "That clown? At this rate she'll be lucky to graduate. True, she's acing Gym and Art...but she's failing everything else miserably. Not to mention she's always butting into other people's personal business...I've had to break up several fights this past week because of her 'matchmaking' attempts!"

He shrugged. "Look, there's a saltwater taffy store on the dock. And somebody's gotta get paid to scrape the barnacles off of it. Dipper's goin' places. But hey, look on the bright side: at least you'll have one kid here in Piedmont forever."

Mabel felt her heart break as she listened to the principals words through the keyhole...

…...Later that night...

 _Without Dipper...how can I be a dynamic duo? I'll be a dynamic zero! I can't make it without him!_ Thought a disoriented Mabel drunk on Smiley-Dip as she stumbled through the deserted science fair. She glared at Dipper's perpetual motion machine. Stupid College...stupid Dipper...stupid machine- THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!

She shouts as she kicks the table...causing a piece to fly off. "GAH!Oh no. Oh no no, what did I do?" Shouts Mabel frantically as she tries to put it back together. "There. Alright. Good as new... Probably." Says Mabel to herself as puts the tarp back on and quickly leaves...

...The next day...

Dipper smiles at the West Coast Tech admission team. "Alright, kid. Show us what ya got." States the man flatly.

Dipper nods and rubs his hands together excitedly. "Okay! Well, what if I told you that the future of technology was beneath this sheet?" He asks as he pulls off the tarp.

"…...I'd say that we wasted a car trip." States the man disappointed as he and his colleagues turn to leave.

"What!?" Shouts Dipper as he notices the machine isn't working. "But it was stable yesterday! A fuse must have blown or something." He pleads desperately.

"Kid, a perpetual motion machine has one job: to not stop. I don't think you're West Coast Tech material." States the man as they all leave the room.

"No, wait! Don't go! I worked so hard!" Shout Dipper as he tries to run after them...but they were already gone...

Unseen by all, Slenderman floated nearby and savored the taste of despair radiating from Dipper. " **Hmmm...as things stand I guess I can just leave well enough alone and watch things crumble..."** Then he laughs. " **AH, who am I kidding? LET'S TAKE IT TOO FAR!"** He then swoops down to posses the Principal-

"Dipper! How could you have botched this!? Do you have any idea what hoops I had to jump through to make this happen? I had to pay for their gas! You've disgrace me and this school with your failure!" Shouted the Principal.

An already tearful Dipper tried to apologize. "I'm sorry sir, it won't happen again- "Darn right it won't! Because your expelled! I want you gone by the end of the hour!" Shouts the principal in a huff as he turns to leave.

"Wait, what!? You can't do that!" Shouts Dipper as he ran after him...oblivious to the numerous shadows that were possessing other people in the room...

"Please! Reconsider! I'll make it up to-

 **SPLAT!**

Went the rotten tomato that hit Dipper in the face-

 **LOSER! LOSER! LOSER!**

Chanted the crowd as they gleefully pelted him with rotten fruit and veggies...and Rocks...

…...

Dipper groaned as he dragged himself and the remains of his perpetual motion machine out of the dumpster he'd been thrown into. Dipper sobbed. _I-I-I don't understand!...what went wrong?_ And that's when he saw it...he saw the bag of Smiley Dip snagged on the machine...and growled in rage...

…...

Mabel plays around with her bedazzler happily. "1 gem, 2 gem, 3 gem- And glitter!" She then sees Dipper come home.

"Hey, what's the word Bro-Bro?" She asks happily. Dipper glared as he holds up a bag of Smiley Dip. "Can you explain what _this_ was doing next to my broken project?!" He exclaims angrily.

Mable paled and chuckled nervously. "Ho-okay. I might have accidentally been, horsing around- "This was no accident, Mabel; _you_ did this! You did this because you couldn't handle me going to college on my own!" Interrupted Dipper enraged.

Mabel blanched. "Look, this was a mistake!" She pleaded. "Although if you think about it, maybe there's a silver lining. Huh?" She asked optimistically. "You, me and the Fun Stick partying down for years to come?" She states happily as she pulls out said stick. "Boop." She giggles as she lightly pokes him.

This was too much for Dipper: Between his dreams getting crushed, being expelled, and getting pelted with food and jagged, biblical, SHURIKEN-like rocks-

 **GAH!**

Screams Dipper as he punches Mabel in the face, jumps on her and pummels her mercilessly! "Are you kidding me!? Why would I want to do anything with the person who sabotaged my entire _future_!? I hate you Mabel!"

Fortunately, their parents heard the commotion and pulled them apart. Dipper gets free and heads for the door. "Dipper, where are you going?!" Asks a tearful Mabel.

"FAR AWAY FROM YOU!" Snaps Dipper as he walks outside and slams the door behind him-

 **SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT!**

-Only to immediately head back inside covered in rotten eggs, tomato, and rock bruises.

"OKAY...I'M GOING TO STAY, BUT I STILL HATE YOU! Shouts Dipper as he heads upstairs to shower...leaving a broken hearted Mabel to cry...

…...

Things were tense the next couple of weeks in the Pines household. Their parents grounded Mabel for a month...but Dipper still refused to talk to her or even acknowledge she exists.

It didn't help matters that Dipper was constantly pelted non-stop with food and rocks whenever he left the house. His parents tried to get the cops to do something about it...but they had suddenly become incompetent for no real good reason!

…...

 **(Mal's whistle)**

Slenderman whistled a merry tune as he zapped away the policeman's brain cells...

…...

Worse, word had apparently gotten around about Dipper's 'failure'. So now he was 'Pre-expelled' from every other school in the country!

…...

"What do you mean you won't accept me!? I'm reading an article right now on you enrolling a cockroach for crying out loud!" Shouted Dipper over the phone! But the man on the other end just hangs up...

Dipper slams his head on the desk and sobs...then he heard a knock on the door. An exhausted Dipper gets up and heads to the door. He looked terrible...ever since...'that day' he'd been plagued by constant nightmares of Mabel destroying his future...he barely got any sleep anymore!

Dipper opened the door. And saw a man in a business suit. "Hello, my boy! Names **S** tanley, **Lenderman!** Hear to ask you if you'd be interested in the Department of Educations new 'Omicron Gambit' initiative...

…..A few weeks later on a bus to Gravity Falls...

Mabel took a deep breath as she walked to the other side of the bus were Dipper was busy ignoring her. Mabel sighed. "Look Dipper...I know things have been...'difficult' between us...but this is our first Summer away from our parents...What do you say we make it special? Pine twins style!"

Dipper continued to ignore her... Mabel frowned but kept a stiff upper lip and changed tactics. She reached into her bag and pulled out a large sundae. "Look! I got you your favorite Sundae! The cheery bomber! Eat up!" Shouts Mabel excitedly as she tries to give it to him-

 **BUMP!**

Went the bus hitting a pothole-

 **SPLAT!**

Went the Sundae, soaking Dipper completely.

Mabel paled horrified. "Oh- Wow- Dipper, I'm really sor- "MABEL!" Interrupted Dipper suddenly. "You should know that it's taking all my restraint to not punch you in the face right now." Stated Dipper coldly, still refusing to look at Mabel. "If you want me to win this battle, I suggest you get as far away from as possible and not talk to me for the rest of the ride."

A tearful Mabel sniffled, but nodded as she headed back to her seat in defeat...

Dipper then turns to address the bus driver. "Also, any chance you could not hit another pot hole?" He asks annoyed.

 **S** tanford, **Lenderman** lifted his hat in an apologetic manner. "Sorry sir! My fingers slipped! Don't worry though, nothing but smooth sailing for you from now on!" _Your sister on the other hand...no such promises..._ Thinks the 'man' to himself with a smirk...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	14. Bad Begining: inspired by GojiraCipher

Tales of the falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...Responses...

MysterD47: I updated Laundry Day for you! Also, the pictures you've given me total up to 6 updates!...But...I don't think i can keep up. I'll update the six stories you want...but after that...I think it be better if...okay. If you want to give me a story idea for 'Tales of the Falls'...if you send me a picture I'll be more likely to do yours first. Sorry. Anyway, what six stories would you like updated!?

nightmaster000: Yes, he will.

Cherrychanga: Way ahead of you! I have an idea already for that...hopefully it'll be out soon.

 **AN: This story was inspired by GojiraCipher**

...

The Speedy Beaver bus Driver whistled a merry tune as he came up to Gravity Falls...oblivious to the invisible eldritch abomination that watched him...

 **Awwww...Good old Kyle! What an inspired and heartwarming choice to reassure all the beloved fans that the twins will make it home safe and sound!**

He then promptly kills him, wears his flesh as a disguise, and makes an 'adjustment' to the bus. He then waits patiently as Mable and Dipper get on board the bus.

 _Blah, blah, blah Cannon. Yadda, Yadda, more Cannon- And that's my que!_ Slenderman quickly turns as Stan demands that Waddles gets on the bus.

"I'm afraid I can't allow that. The Speedy Beaver company has a strict 'zero tolerance' when it comes to-

He pretends to be terrified when the Stan twins bring out the guns and fisticuffs.

"Whoa! Okay! Let's not do anything will regret." He shouts in frantic panic- all the while smirking beneath the facade...and telepathically prompting waddles to waddle forward to Mable- "Let the pig on board, and you won't." Said Stan interrupting his thoughts.

Slenderman desperately fought against laughing as he skillfully stuttered like a coward. "S-s-s-Sir! Be reasonable! Even if I wanted to- Which of course I do! -I can't let the pig on!"

Ford looked at him confused. "What do you mean?"

It took all of Slenderman's self-restraint(for lack of a better word) to not turn around and watch as Waddles slowly made his way to an eager Mable...

W-w-w-well, you see- It's because-

 **CRUNCH!**

Mable was covered in pig guts...as was the rest of the bus...

Slenderman had to pause time to allow himself to have a good laugh...before composing himself and restarting time to finish his part...

"Because...of that. The automatic anti-pest attachment...Probably should have mentioned that sooner...my bad."

Mable found her voice and burst into tears, banging her head against the wall and crying out waddles over and over again.

"What kind of bus has a contraption like that?!" Shouts Ford.

Slenderman rolled his eyes. "Sheesh, where have you been living the past 30 years? Under a rock?"

Before a stunned Ford can answer, Slenderman shuts the door and drives the bus off...

Soos just looked at all this confused. "Is it me...or was that NOT the best way to end things?"

...

 _Oh, no my fine friend...it's not an end...it's a whole new beginning!...for suffering!_ Laughed Slenderman to himself as he made a few calls...

A large man named D. Caste Raider lazily picked up his phone. **It's me.** Said Slenderman.

The man got to attention real quick! "Big Boss man! What can I do for yah?"

 **One Mr and Mrs Pines shall be driving out soon...see to it that they get 'lost'.**

The outlaw laughed. "With pleasure sir!" He turns to his men. "Crank up the iron horse boys! Meats back on the menu!"

...Piedmont High...

All the teachers were confused when they'd learned they'd been all fired...and replaced...

...Gravity falls High...

As were the teachers from Wendy's school...

...Northwest Middle school...

And pacifica- Whatever, you get the idea...

...Antarctica...

Time baby sleeps...

 **CRACK!**

Time Baby dies...

-and something else moves in...

...in the middle of the woods...

A shadow creeps up to the Bill Statue...

 _Rise and shine Mr. Cipher..._

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	15. A monster in wolves clothing

Tales of the falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...Responses...

imperialwar1234: Yes he is

MysterD47: I will do all that. It's not that I WANT to stop it...I just can't keep up with you. I have other obligations (Both fanfiction and Real life) that i have to fulfill as well. Appreciate it.

...

 **...January 1914, Munich...**

 **Egassem sdrawkcab. egassem sdrawkcab. Egassem sdrawkcab! Egassem sdrawkcab! Egassem sdrawkcab!**

Screams a young Adolf Hitler, he then watches as the ancient creature arises from the ether...

He still remembers several months ago; shortly after coming here to claim his fathers estate...when in the dead of night...he saw a man wrestling with a werewolf! He'd been paralyzed with fear at the sight! But the man chased the beast away!...but in his haste...the man dropped something...a curious book...adorned with a six-fingered hand...And a 2...

It was the same book he now used to summon this creature...who would hopefully settle his fears about the rising tension between the Allies and the Central powers. Obviously, Germany would come out on top regardless of the conflict!...Still...a second opinion from a superior being couldn't hurt...

…...

Hitler felt his heart sank as the Triangle demon showed him one vision of the future after another.

The assassination of Archduke Ferdinand...The failure of the Schlieffen Plan...The catastrophic Battle of the Marne...The Humiliating Treaty of Versailles...The suffering of the German people- His people!

Bill pats Hitler on the shoulder. "It's not too late pal! This can all be avoided! I can make Germany the Empire you so badly want it to be! I can make you it's hero!...and all I ask is that after the war...you help me with a little 'project' I've been working on...

Bill extends his hand to Adolf...which bursts into blue flames! "What do you say buddy? We got a deal?"

Hitler hesitated...his gaze entranced by the blue flame...but inevitably he shook it...and the deal was struck...

 **...October 1914, England...**

First Lord of the Admirality Winston Churchill looked at the reports baffled...it had been one catastrophe after the next! Every attempt to sabotage, ambush, or delay the German advance had been predicted and thwarted with shocking ease! They hadn't even been able to destroy the rail lines! Every time they'd gotten anywhere near them, the explosives they brought prematurely blew up! Killing their men, but leaving the tracks intact!

And then came the 'Slaughter of the Marne'...The french had been all set for a big bloody fight...But a day before the Germans got there...A plague struck!

From what he'd been able to gather: Shortly after some survivors from the disastrous 'Slaughter of the Ardennes' showed up; they all started to become deathly ill. Half of the french army was dead by the time the Germans got there! Also...Winston frowns. Reports got muddled and inconsistent after that(it didn't help that the Krauts had timed their offensive to happen at night for whatever reason).

Evidently, the instant the Germans attacked...the French also found themselves attacked from all sides! Even from within their camp! More confusing was the claims that the attackers were wearing french uniforms! And seemed to refuse to die no matter how much you pumped lead into them! And apparently acted more like rabid beasts than actual humans.

Churchill looked down at the report of a man claiming to be attacked by a squademate who he swears he'd buried over a couple hours ago! Now ordinarily Churchill would simply have dismissed such a statement as battle-driven hysteria...except their were over fifty other reports just like it!

 _What the devil is happening here!?_ Thought Churchill frantically. The Allies were in dire straits! Paris had fallen! The French had surrendered! The British army was in tatters! It was no longer a question if Germany would win the war but when-

ZAP!

Churchill gaped at the sight of a man appearing before him in a flash of lightning. The man looked to him. "Mr. Churchill; not only do I know what your up against. But I believe I can help you." Said the man as he pulled out a strange book with his even stranger six-fingered hand...

 **...November 1914, Straight of Dover...**

The Germans were giddy! They were drunk on power from their recent success in France! Not only had they conquered Paris in record time but they had suffered almost no casualties! And by the sound of it the Russian front was going great as well!

On the day before their great naval offensive against those damn Limey's(who hadn't even sent their fleet to counter them here, the cowards!). The crews on the various German U-boats couldn't help but celebrate their future victory. As well as raise a toast to their new _**Oberkommando der Wehrmacht**_ (where did the Kaiser come up with these crazy names!? Honestly!), Adolf Hitler! May he lead them to Victory here as he did at the Marne's!

 **CRASH!**

That was the last thing they did before a giant tentacle crashed right through the hull of their ship...

…...

Through the eyes of a possessed Hitler, Bill seethed at the sight of a Kraken ripping through the German fleet. _This might be more difficult than I thought._ Thinks Bill to himself as he orders the remaining U-boats to retreat...

…...

 **...March 1917, New York...**

Once more; the people of the nation found their hearts and minds torn between the rivalry of Media Moguls William Randolph Hearst and Joseph Pulitzer.

Hearst's clear pro-non-intervention campaign was in full force. His paper spared no expense as it reminded the U.S. What a literal 'hell on Earth' Europe had become.

He reminded them of the 'Gluttony of Belgium'(where the entire population of Belgium was punished by being turned into cannibalistic ghouls...that then ate each other!...and then themselves!). How the battle of Tsingtao was basically a firefight between Japans new Kappa Army and the Germans Flying Eyeball squadron(a war that's still going on in the trenches 3 years latter!)! Of the numerous atrocities committed in Africa under Paul von Lettow-Vorbeck's army of Gremlins. Of the horror that was the Ottoman empire civil war! A fight between Grand Sharif Hussein's Giant Scorpion Demons and Caliph Mehmed 'V' Reshad's Djinni! Most importantly, he reminded them how such tales would have been laughed off as 'crazy talk' 4 years ago...but not anymore...The so-called 'great war' had forever mixed and muddled the concepts of what's real and what's fantasy.

To be fair, most of America agreed with Hearst. Who in their right mind would want to get in the middle of a conflict of demons and magic?...What could normal people do in such a conflict where (rumor had it) that even death itself wouldn't stop it?

That being said...America was going to have to side Pulitzer's 'You _may not_ be interested in _war_ , _but war_ is interested in you' statement.

After Germany sunk numerous US merchant Ships(including the strange disappearance of the RMS Lusitania) and the revelation that was the Zimmermann Telegram...there didn't seem to be anyway to avoid war.

Hearst could stuff as much propaganda as he wanted in his _'Perils of Pauline'_ reels...But that didn't change the fact that-

 **BOOM!**

The good citizens of the Big Apple found their thoughts interrupted as the no longer missing RMS Lusitania crashes down from the sky...and begins to release a strange smoke...within minutes most of the city is dead...within hours half the country is dead...but the real casualties don't occur until night...

 **...**

 **...1920, US Bureau of Information...**

Brigadier General Douglas MacArthur sighed as he looked over the reports...things were not well in the US...

Which really shouldn't be a surprise to anyone...Any country that thought they were okay after having half it's citizens die...only for them to rise again as flesh-eating zombies that very night...was an idiot.

Thankfully, it was quickly realized the zombies were only capable of life during the night(at sunrise they became lifeless husks once more). Taking advantage of this, the US military swiftly burned everywhere that had so much as one zombie!...Sadly this meant the complete destruction(among other things) of the Breadbasket states...which lead to mass-food shortages(Thankfully, the population wasn't too mad at them for that...the Zombies had been that scary!).

Germany was quick to accept responsibility for the whole thing. And America was quick to respond with a universal draft that was eagerly accepted by the American people...just in time for Mexican President José Venustiano Carranza Garza to form an alliance with Germany and declare war on the US!

For the last 3 years it's been nothing but non-stop stalemated trench warfare on the southern border! And the rest of the world was more or less the same way.

But as bad as things had gotten in the rest of the world...The Domestic situation in America was even worse!

For whatever reason; the plague mainly struck law-abiding, Caucasian, civilian men. Leaving the criminals, African American, and Woman portions of America relatively untouched.

With the part of the population that had been running the majority of the country decimated...America briefly fell into chaos...martial law and the countries united resolve to get back at Germany helped things...but the American government was forced to adjust many of their longstanding policies...

Especially when civil rights groups like the 'Militant National Woman's Party' and the 'Universal Negro Improvement Association and African Communities League' took advantage of the calamity to push forward their agendas.

The black codes became a thing of the past. Full voting and equality rights were given to all African American and Woman American's.

Many brilliant African American and woman were tacking advantage of the power gap left by the numerous dead or bankrupt Tycoons to make their mark on history. An African American named Alice Augusta Ball was already creating a great chemistry corporation; using her research into leprosy to figure out a possible cure for the zombie virus. And a young Amelia Earhart was trying to start up an Aeronautics company.

Numerous businessmen(after losing almost all their able-bodied employees to the plague or zombies) are finding themselves forced to hire woman or African Americans at the same pay and benefits as a white man lest they go bankrupt.

After so many white children are killed by the plague or eaten by zombies, school officials are forced to integrate the schools lest they lose their funding.

Recently, desperate for more people to throw on the front lines; congress allowed woman and African Americans to be included in the universal draft(there was even talk of lowering the legal age of an adult to 16, things were that bad!).

But while the (former)minorities of America celebrated...the rest of America rotted. Law-abiding Police, doctors, firemen, and other emergency services were hit the hardest by the plague...while criminals were completely unaffected.

MacArthur was amazed at all the times he found the civilians of a small town dead...but the prisoners locked inside their cells(or just the crooked cops) were perfectly fine!

In the chaos that followed the plague...an unspoken agreement was reached between the government and the almost perfectly intact criminal elements America. _Basically...you police and protect our streets...we'll look the other way..._

It was a golden age for organized crime! Prohibition was still a thing...but it wasn't worth the paper it was printed on! Speakeasy's were everywhere! They kept the people happy, and the economy stable. So no one was even trying to shut them down!

Emergency services were now filled with crooked men, criminals, private military men(like Pinkerton's), or labor unions(like teamsters)...You could count on them to keep the Krauts(and the few remaining pockets of surviving zombies) out and the peace...but not much else was going to be done.

Many unsavory people were also making their mark on history known. Like the kingpin/governor of Indianapolis John Dillinger. The new Mayor of New Orleans; Charles Arthur(Aka 'Pretty Boy Floyd'). Or Texas Governor Clyde and his oil Baron partner Bonnie. New York Police commissioner George Francis Barnes Jr.(Aka 'Machine Gun Kelly')...and so many more.

But MacArthur puts these thoughts from his head. He didn't have time to think about the past! He needed to worry about the present!

Specifically, the fate of a bunch of draft-dodgers! He looked over the reports...most of them were just your typical yokels...except one...Apparently this guys whole family and his wife was wiped out by the plague...leaving him to care for his 2 children...

MacArthur sighed. Contrary to what people might think, he wasn't heartless...He ordered the man to be immediately sent to the Mexican front lines...and that his men find the children's next living kin and drop them off there...

 **...**

Stanley Pines gives the soldier a disbelieving look. "Let me see if I have this straight...You want me...a Speakeasy owner...Who lives in Gravity Falls; the official 'Capital of Corruption' in the US...to take care of my 12 year-old great niece and nephew?" He asks incredulously.

The soldier sighed. "Look man, I'm just following orders here." He says as he walks and drives off.

Stanley sighs. He turns to the two kids. One was a shy boy...the Girl...she wore an over the top flapper dress covered with fake pearls and beads...topped with a feathered, pearly headpiece...Oh, and she also had a pig.

Stanley sighs. "Alright...just...I don't know...stay out here...I need...I need to figure out what to do here"... He admitted. He then walks to the house- "Wait, did you say your running a speakeasy?" Asks Dipper curiously. But Stan was already inside.

Dipper shook his head. "Our Dad's been sent out to fight the Chupucabra Regiments of Mexico...and we've been sent to live with a gangster...Be honest do you think in a former life...we just did something horrible?"

Mabel chuckles. "Come on Dipper! Let's make the best of this! We can play cops and robbers for real now!" She says excitedly.

Dipper face-palms. "Mabel, Cops and Robbers Kill each other in real life!" "We'll aren't we 'Mr. Glass is half-empty!'" Says Mabel snarkily.

Dipper throws up his hands exasperated-

 **SQUEAL!**

Which accidentally smacks Waddles in the eye, the panicked pig jumps out of Mabel's arms and runs away.

"Waddles! Come back!" Shouts Mabel as she and Dipper run after him...

…...

... _I wanted to just eat the damn pig and have a real meal for once, but no! Dad gave in to her puppy eyes and we ended up with one more mouth to feed!_ Rambles an irritated Dipper to himself as he separately looks for Waddles in the mean streets of Gravity Falls-

"Gideon! Let go of me!" Dipper turns toward a dark alley and sees a blonde girl his age getting her dress ripped off by a silver-haired boy! "Don't be stingy! Your going to be my-

 **CRACK!**

That was all Dipper needed to hear! He ran up grabbed the boy and struck him. He falls down like a sack of bricks. The boy glares at him. "You just made a big mistake boy!" Shouts the boy as he reaches into his shirt. "Do you have any idea who I am!?" He pulls out a medallion. "I'm going to- He stops talking...and turns deathly pale...the medallion was broken!

"Y-you broke my medallion! What have you done!? I hadn't fulfilled my-

 **squick**

Those were the last words Gideon ever uttered...for his 'shadow' had skewered him with spikes...it then dragged him down into the black void...while it cackled maniacally.

Dipper gaped at what he'd just seen. "Well...that happened." He said unnerved. He turns to the girl. "Hey are you okay-

 **smeck**

The girl kissed him! Full on the mouth! And it was full on french! Dippers mind shut down! What should he do!? What should he say!? This had never happened to him before!

And just as quickly as the most wonderful event in his life began...it ended. A flustered Dipper stared at her dumbly. "Uh...what...how...I'm"... Words failed him...

The girl giggles and hands him something. "Would you accept this cursed ring, please?" She asks politely. Dipper nods stupefied, and takes it...only for his brain to finally start working again and process what she'd just said.

"Wait, cursed ring?" He asks confused. The girl rubbed the back of her head awkwardly. "Yeah...Look, I appreciate you protecting my virtue...Especially killing my idiot 'fiance'." She spits that last word out in disgust.

"Buuuuut...you've pretty much brought down a huge shitstorm on yourself...and I really don't want to be anywhere near it...So your not going to tell anyone about my involvement in this...if you do the curse ring that you just 'willingly' accepted will cause your manhood to fall off."

"What!?" Screamed a horrified Dipper. It's then he notices the ring crawling out of his palm and entwining itself on his finger. Dipper desperately tries to pull it off to no avail.

Pacifica winces awkwardly. "Again, sorry...it's nothing personal...it's just either me or you...Anyway, don't bother cutting off your finger...it'll just appear on another finger...So the names Pacifica Northwest...That kid you killed was Gideon Gleeful...your really not going to want to brag about that...trust me...you'll beg for death by the end of it...Well, ciao!"

Dipper just watches as the girl runs off...Utterly baffled about what to think or feel about what just happened...

...

The next couple of days, the twins mainly stayed in their room while Stanley tried to find someone else who could take them...While Mabel busied herself by making more crazy outfits...Dipper busied himself by trying to get more information about his 'situation'...what he found out wasn't good.

The discrete inquiries he made to some of his uncles goons...painted a very nasty...if interesting picture.

Apparently, long before the Shack was a speakeasy...it belonged to his other great uncle Ford...No one knew all the details...but he hired Stan to run things here to make money so that Ford could continue his 'research'(whatever that meant) abroad. Their were currently three major Players in Gravity Falls. There was Stan and his speakeasy/ pawn shop; were you could trade, buy, sell anything 'exotic'. Then there was the Northwest Family. They supposedly founded the town...and have obscene amounts of money...No one know why...their never seen doing any work...so no one can say where all that money came from.

Finally, there was the Blind-Eye Society. A mysterious society that dabbles in mysticism and the occult. 'Offically', it was being lead by the sorcerer 'Blind Ivan'...but their was currently an unofficial power struggle going between him and their main financial backer...Buddy Gleeful.

Before the plague, Buddy was just a low level flunkie both in Ford Motor Company and in the Society. But after the plague wiped out Henry Ford and all of his inner circle; Buddy seized control of the majority of his empire and used his new-found wealth to buy his way into the Society's highest echelons...and had ambitions for more...

An unspoken 'peace offering' was brokered by the neutral elements of the Society; in the form of convincing Ivan to take Gideon on as an Apprentice. And this seemed to appease both men...and civil war was averted...Until Dipper killed him that was.

By the sound of it; the Society didn't know who killed Gideon...but they did know he was dead...this was causing tensions to rise again...

 _So, I'm barely here a week...and I may have pissed off two incredibly powerful people...possibly a third; if that whole 'fiance' thing was any indication...I wonder if I could convince a recruiter to send me to the front lines...at least then my death will be quick..._

Thought Dipper darkly to himself...In fact he was in so much deep thought...that he almost missed an amazing revelation...

...

"There are magical creatures here in Gravity Falls?" Asks Dipper amazed. Hired goon/Chief engineer Soos Ramirez nodded.

"Yeah, we have all sorts here...Gnome, Minotaur, Ogre, Lizard-men, werewolf, vampire...They all come here to get drunk or take in the show"...

Dipper continues to listen in with interest as Soos continues to regale him with stories of all the crazy things he's seen in Gravity Falls...Up until Stan showed up...

…...

Stan explained that he couldn't find anyone else to look after them...so for the moment they were stuck there. Stan felt that if they were here, they might as well earn their keep by waiting tables at the Speakeasy. He also insisted they not leave the Shack unless escorted by him or one of his men. Dipper had misgivings about the first...but was fine with the second...for obvious reasons...

Mabel was excited about the first but annoyed with the second as she wanted to explore...Stan and Dipper were happy to quickly disabuse her of that notion...

…...

For a moment Mabel and Dipper just stood their amazed at what they were seeing...Minotaurs arm wrestling...Gnomes playing Russian Roulette with a rabid squirrel...Lizard men eating human skulls dipped in honey!...And witches making corpse hands dance for their amusement on the table...

For awhile Stan let them stand there and take it in...then he put trays in their hands and pushed them off to work...

While a terrified Mabel did the best she could to avoid all the strange, unnatural creatures...While a fascinated Dipper did all he could to be as close to them as possible!

During this, he also found himself close to the 'power players' of Gravity Falls. The Blind Eye Society was mostly spread out...but the two largest groups were gravitating around two people(who Dipper could only assume were Ivan and Buddy). While Ivan's following talked in dignified, secretive whispers. Buddy's group were laughing and joking...But despite their merrymaking...Dipper can't help but notice that people were avoiding the area that rested between the two groups like a plague...nor could he help noticing the dark calculative glares that either group occasionally sent the other...

The Northwest Family was a different story...Preston Northwest and his wife were drinking booze and merrymaking like no one's business! And then there was Pacifica...They briefly saw each other- But quickly looked away and pretended they hadn't seen the other...for obvious reasons...

Dipper still didn't know what to think of her...At first he was furious because of the curse...but as he learned about how much trouble he'd gotten himself into...he couldn't help but think he'd have done the same thing if the situation was reversed...Also, he'd be lying if the memory of the kiss wasn't also confusing him...

The biggest surprise was serving drinks to Hearst! Apparently, after the plague. It had been open season on politicians, businessmen, and civil servants who had supported non-intervention. Hundreds had been lynched or tarred and feathered by angry mobs(the government, strapped for cash. Allowed this so they could confiscate their assets). The revelation that his lieutenant Philip Francis was actually of German descent hadn't helped matters. Hearst, learning of his impending lynching from his sources; fled to Gravity Falls. Where he bought out Toby Determined's news business. The power players of Gravity Falls allowed him to do as he will...as long as he didn't make waves(like mentioning anything supernatural to the outside world)...and did the occasional odd job for them...

Suddenly, the lights dimmed and a spotlight revealed Stan on the stage. He glared at the audience. "Alright, this is what you've all been waiting for!...and even though I know I'm wasting my breath...My lawyers insist on this for legal reasons." He takes a deep breath. "Okay, you all signed the waiver coming in: you come up on the stage, you acknowledge your 'too dumb to live' and whatever happens after that is on your head...and your valuables immediately belong to the Shack(i.e. me)."

He shakes his head. "Anyway, without further ado...A women who needs no introduction...Wendy Corduroy Everybody!"

As Stan left during the applause, the stage was illuminated...and Dippers breath was taken away...

On the stage was a beautiful, teenage, African-American, red-head! Who wore the most provocative 'Egyptian revival attire'...and if that hadn't been a guarantee to give the young Pines boy his first 'stiffie'(which it did), then her even more provocative Quasi-Belly dancing style certainly was! And that wasn't even the most interesting part!...that came when she sang...

 **Beware, beware, be skeptical  
Of their smiles, their smiles of plated gold  
Deceit so natural  
But a wolf in sheep's clothing is more than a warning  
Bah-bah-black sheep, have you any soul?**

"Me want Boobies!" Screamed a gnome as it leaped at her

BANG!

 **No sir, by the way, what the hell are morals?**

Finished Wendy while blowing the smoke off the barrel of the revolver she'd just pulled from her cleavage to shoot the gnome dead-

 **Jack, be nimble, Jack, be quick  
Jill's a little whore and her alibis are dirty tricks**

Hearing that verse, Pacifica can't help but look toward Dipper curiously...

 **So could you  
Tell me how you're sleeping easy  
How you're only thinking of yourself  
Show me how you justify  
Telling all your lies like second nature  
Listen, mark my words, one day  
You will pay, you will pay  
Karma's gonna come collect your debt **

**Aware, aware, you stalk your prey  
With criminal mentality  
You sink your teeth into the people you depend on**

Stan looks over to a picture of his twin brother...and remembers better times...

 **Infecting everyone, you're quite the problem  
Fee-fi-fo-fum, you better run and hide-**

"BE MINE, WOMAN!" Shouts a lustful Minotaur as it jumps on stage and runs at her.

Without breaking her dance; Wendy activates a hidden blade in her toe-ring and slashes his jugular

 **I smell the blood of a petty little coward**

She sings as she licks some blood off her finger for emphasis

 **Jack, be lethal, Jack, be slick  
Jill will leave you lonely dying in a filthy ditch **

Pacifica didn't know why...but she had the sudden urge to flip Wendy the bird...

 **So could you  
Tell me how you're sleeping easy  
How you're only thinking of yourself  
Show me how you justify  
Telling all your lies like second nature  
Listen, mark my words, one day  
You will pay, you will pay  
Karma's gonna come collect your debt **

A young, enamored, and covered in alcohol Robbie Valentino sneaks up behind her-

Only to be grabbed by her at the last second!

 **Maybe you'll change**

Sings Wendy as she dramatically dances with him

 **Abandon all your wicked ways**

She dips and spins him like a woman

 **Make amends and start anew again  
Maybe you'll see  
All the wrongs you did to me**

She leans in to kiss him, and a bewildered Robbie leans in to do the same-

 **And start all over, start all over again**

SMACK!

Robbie is sent flying!

 **Who am I kidding?  
Now, let's not get overzealous here  
You've always been a huge piece of shit!**

Robbie groans where he landed, the front-most edge of the stage...

 **If I could kill you I would!  
But it's frowned upon in all fifty states  
Having said that-**

She taps a hidden switch with her heel-

 **-burn in hell!**

Robbie screams as the sparklers activate, slamming right into his face, igniting the alcohol stains. Setting him ablaze!

 **So tell me how you're sleeping easy  
How you're only thinking of yourself  
Show me how you justify  
Telling all your lies like second nature  
Listen, mark my words, one day  
You will pay, you will pay**

Hearst and Philip clinked glasses in remembrance of better times...

 **Karma's gonna come collect your debt!**

Wendy bowed to thunderous applause...

Mabel and Dipper just stared... "All that murder seemed strangely choreographed." Lampshaded a horrified and deathly pale Mabel. "I think I'm in love." Says a surprised Dipper out loud...

Mabel just looks at him in horrified disbelief...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **Inspired by Tybay**

 **The song is 'a wolf in sheep's' clothing by 'Set it off'**

 **AN: I know that the statement above belongs to Leon Trotsky and not Pulitzer, And Alice Augusta was supposed to have died a couple years back, and that Dillinger was a bit young at this time. Just roll with me!**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	16. Time Travelers Revision

Tales of the falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...Responses...

imperialwar1234: Error indeed, I couldn't find either of them. Could you give me a link or something?

...

"I'm coming Waddles!" Shouts Mabel as they run past a younger Mystery Shack covered in snow. "Mabel, give it back!" Shouts Dipper as he tackles her.

The force of the tackle causes both the Tape Measure Time Machine and the Journal to fly away from them and skid away on the ice as they wrestle.

"Stop being a jerk!" Shouts Mabel. As they tussle. "It's just a pig! You'll get over it in a day! Wendy is a person, and she gets hurt!" Mabel scoffed. "Yeah, like you really care about that! You just want to do kissy-face with her!" "Take that back!" "No, you take being a jerk back!"

Suddenly they hear a loud cough behind them. They turn around and are surprised to see a person that seems to be a younger, less disgusting version of their Great Uncle...

The man looks at them curiously as he holds out the tape measure and Journal. "Right...I'm going to go out on a limb here...But is it safe to assume that since you have a standard issue Time Paradox Avoidance Enforcement Squadron Tape measure AND what is clearly my third journal- Despite the fact I haven't even finished my second one...that your both from the future?"

The two siblings just looked at him in shock...

…...

"We have a winner!" Shouts the ball toss game manager as he hands the Stuffed creature of indeterminate species to Dipper who he gives to Wendy. "Wow Dipper, that was some excellent throwing!" Compliments Wendy.

Dipper smiles as he hides the kinetic manipulator that his Gruncle Ford(AKA "The Author" SQUEAL! This was so awesome!) gave him to win under his shirt. He looks over and sees Mabel happily playing with Waddles while Pacifica gets pecked by a chicken.

Today had been a great day! Not only had he fixed his mistake with Wendy; but in exchange for a copy of book 3; Ford gave him a copy of book 1 and the apparently only half-finished book 2! And since Ford tinkered with the tape measure; they were now in 'diverging alternate universe territory', so no fear of time paradox's!

...He still had some major questions for Stan though...But he'd worry about that later! Right now, he was having the time of his life with Wendy! _Besides, it looks like Ford beat me to it._ Thought Dipper as he glanced at Ford walking inside the Mystery Shack to confront his estranged twin brother...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!

Love me, flame me, review me


	17. Sock Opera---with a cherry on top

Tales of the falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...Responses...

imperialwar1234: What exactly do you mean by 'blood and bully?'

...

 **AN: Hey Guys! I would like to recommend 'Family' by Major144. It's awesome! And around 200 chapters long and still growing! He also takes story ideas!**

...

Bill Cipher laughed in triumph. _Soon, I'll destroy that journal...and then I'll throw Pine Tree's body off the water tower! Good times all around! I can't wait-_

His train of thought was interrupted by someone tapping his back. "Mind if I take it from here?" Asked a bland voice behind him.

Bill, annoyed. Turned around ready to let him have it- And then his ectoplasm went cold. "W-What are YOU doing here?" Asked a terrified Bill...

….Later...

As the audience applauds below. Mabel climbs the catwalk and runs over to where the giant cake is hanging. The journal sits inside. Mabel climbs over the edge and reaches for the journal. She frantically searches through it. "Come on, come on now, there must be a way to get Dipper's body back!"

"Oho, but why would you want to do that?" Mabel looks up to see Dippers body pulling the cake up, with lights shining behind his grinning demonic face.

"Bill Dipper! Bipper." Exclaims Mabel. "Shh! You wouldn't want to ruin the show... Whoops!" He shouts as He briefly releases the cake, sending Mabel plummeting. "It's slipping! How's about you hand that book over?" He asks Mable in mock chivalry.

"No way! This is Dipper's! I'd never give it away!" Shouts Mabel defiantly.

He gave Mabel a contemplative look. "Hmm, you didn't seem to have a problem taking it for your own play, ditching him when he needed you. So come to your senses. Give me the book or your play is ruined." Mabel sighs and begins to hand over the journal...

He smirks as he reaches for it. "Huh...I feel like I should say something else here..." He thought out loud...then he shrugs. "Nah, I'm good." And he takes the journal away triumphantly. He quickly secures the rope to the catwalk, then smirks. "You get all that Bill?" He asked suddenly.

"You got it Boss!" Mabel turns toward the direction of the new voice...only to see Bill handling a camera?!

"Wait, what?" Mabel turned back to Dippers body confused. "But I thought-

 **FWOOM!**

Mabel screamed as Dipper's body burst into flames! Destroying both the body AND Journal...and in it's place...a terrifying faceless man wearing a business suite and sporting numerous, long, Slender arms.

" **You can call me Slenderman little girl."** Said the creature tot he terrified Mabel. " **But enough about me, your show must go on!"** Before Mabel could react. Slenderman snapped his fingers. **"** **Lights, Camera, Action!"**

…...

The people of Gravity Falls didn't know what was going on. One second they were watching a puppet show...then all the props and puppets disintegrate. Then the lights start to act erratic and suddenly reveal a ghostly Dipper...then several colossal movie screens 'melt' out of the walls...and switch on to reveal a horrific abomination!

Slenderman chuckled. **"** **Hello boys and girls! Sorry for the inconvenience...but I'm afraid tonight's feature presentation has been canceled on account of...well, me."**

Slenderman cackled. **But don't worry!** **We have a replacement show all lined up! A little documentary I like to call 'Mabel Pines: Loveable Cloudcuckoolander or spoiled, ungrateful sister?'** He snaps his fingers, activating the 'mood lighting' and staring up the 'documentary' on all screens. " **And now, as an added treat, I give you the remixed vocal styling's of 'Jeff Buckley'...**

(Music begins)

 **Well, I heard there was a secret chord**  
 **That David played and it pleased the Lord**  
 **But you don't really care for music, do you?**

The audience stayed glued to their seat as they viewed Dipper saving Mabel from the gnomes...

 **Well it goes like this:**  
 **The fourth, the fifth, the minor fall and the major lift**  
 **The baffled king composing Hallelujah**

Feelings were mixed during the scene that showed Dipper allow Wendy to be hit in the eye to allow Mabel to keep her pig...

 **Well your faith was strong but you needed proof**  
 **You saw her bathing on the roof**  
 **Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew ya**

Feelings got even more 'mixed' when Dipper again sacrificed for Mabel so she could help Mermando...

 **She tied you to her kitchen chair**  
 **She broke your throne and she cut your hair**  
 **And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah**

And then they show the scene of Mabel promising Dipper she'd help him 'later' after a week of the making the puppet show...

 **Baby, I've been here before**  
 **I've seen this room and I've walked this floor (you know)**  
 **I used to live alone before I knew ya**  
 **And I've seen your flag on the marble arch**  
 **And love is not a victory march**  
 **It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah**

...Only to then break her promise at the end of said week...

 **There was a time when you let me know**  
 **What's really going on below**  
 **But now you never show that to me, do ya?**  
 **But remember when I moved in you**  
 **And the holy dove was moving too**  
 **And every breath we drew was Hallelujah**

Everyone gasped in horror as Dippers soul is ripped from his body...and cringed as Bill abuses it...

 **Maybe there's a God above**  
 **But all I've ever learned from love**  
 **Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew ya**  
 **And it's not a cry that you hear at night**  
 **It's not somebody who's seen the light**  
 **It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah...**

And finally...they watched...in stunned horror...as Mabel gave up the journal to save her show...and both it and Dippers body went up in flames...

 **Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah...**

 **...(song ends)...  
**

Too late did Mabel realize how much Dipper had sacrificed for her...too late did she realize what she'd done...

She looked down to the stage...saw Dipper. And even if she lived to be hundred...she would never forget the devastated look of betrayal and despair that was plastered over Dippers face. Without a word...Dipper turns his back to Mabel...and floats out of the building...

Slenderman then floated next to Mabel and laughed-

 **"If you're searching this story for a point- Well, you've probably missed it"**

Said Slenderman mockingly to the readers as he playfully flicked the horse head puppet picture on Mabel's sweater, causing it to change into a picture of a broken heart...

 **"There was never anything here In the first place..."**

Trailed off Slenderman as he vanished into the ether...his twisted deed done...

With nothing left to say...Mabel fell to her hands and knees and wept...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: The Song is a parody of 'Hallelujah' by 'Leonard Cohen'...**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	18. Survive the Summer

Tales of the falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...Responses...

MysterD47: I like them! In accordance with our new deal, if you give me an idea. I'll make it the next chapter! Or would you like me to continue one of the one-shots I have here?

...

 **AN: Hey Guys! I would like to recommend 'Family' by Major144. It's awesome! And around 200 chapters long and still growing! He also takes story ideas!**

...

Dipper and Mable Pines slept like babies after a long day of fighting gnomes...oblivious to the evil that had entered their room...and their lives...

Slenderman smirked. **"Right...now we do things my way!...but first...let's have a nice omake to set the mood...**

And with that...he flies into their collective dreams...

 **...OMAKE: twisted dreams...**

Slenderman puts on a bunny mask and walks up to the Shacks front door. "Right, I can do this. Remember...first impressions are everything."

 **CRASH!**

Dipper and Mabel Pines watched in confusion- And the horror, as the door was smashed down...and a horrific creature in a bunny mask came into the room...

"Gah! Who are you?" They both cried out in fright. Slenderman looked at them confused, then shook his head in shame.

"Oh, no. Did I frighten you? Well, darn! Their goes my 'good first impression'...I'll have to fix that." He says as he points a revolver to his left temple-

 **BANG!**

Dipper and Mabel screamed as his brains were sprayed across the wall.

 **GROWL!**

 **CRASH!**

They screamed again as strange new monsters crashed through the windows. One leaned over and picked up the bloody bunny mask and put it on...and in doing so turns into Slenderman.

Slenderman coughs behind his blood bunny mask to clear his throat. "Right, let's try this again."

 **(music starts)**

Slenderman and his men sway with the beat-

 **Let's try to make it right, don't wanna start a fight  
And we're so sorry if we give you all a little fright  
We're not so scary if you see us in the daylight  
You'll be so happy just as long as you survive the night**

Slenderman vanishes and reappears behind the twins and grabs them excitedly.

 **Hey there!  
How ya doin'?  
Nice to meet you, are you new in town?**

He asked in a creepily cheerful manner as he waved them around excitedly, while the frightened twins peed themselves-

 **Don't think I've seen you before  
It's great to see new faces around!  
And if you like it I can give a tour-**

He tosses them outside.

 **Of our enchanting wonderland  
New and improved without the status quo!**

With every step Slenderman takes, Gravity falls becomes corrupted. Every flower wilts, every sunbeam is shaded in, and every puddle turns to blood...

 **There's no escape but then  
Who would wanna leave?  
It's a fantastical paradise  
And it's not, make-believe! **

Mabel and Dipper try to run, but are blocked at every corner by Slendermans men...who then give Mabel a guitar?

 **I'm so glad to have another member of the band  
You're one of us now  
So let me take you by the hand!**

Not knowing, what else to do. Mabel tentatively reached toward the guitar- Only for it to be grabbed by Slenderman!?

 **But what is that I spy?  
With my demonic eye?**

He shouts as his 'gaze' sears Mable's very soul.

 **I think I see a bit of flesh inside the new girl!  
Maybe he isn't everything that he seems... **

Mabel whimpers as he gives her arm a twist-

 **Time to investigate  
What's underneath the seams!**

Mabel screams as he rips out her arm completely!

 **Let's try to make it right, don't wanna start a fight  
And we're so sorry if we give you all a little fright  
We're not so scary if you see us in the daylight  
You'll be so happy just as long as you survive the night**

Dipper attempts to help his sobbing sister are thwarted by a monster sitting on him.

 **The nights...  
If you survive the nights  
Oh, I'll take you away  
To our enchanting land of play**...

He once again lifts the twins up and waves them around playfully...

 **Forgive me for being suspicious  
Mischief's not on my brain  
I'm inclined to be pragmatic  
If someone messes with my mainframe  
It's not that we don't trust you. We do!  
(We love you too) **

He gives a hearty chuckle

 **It's just that, here's in Gravity Falls  
... Were gonna have a few rules**

He then smacks their heads together!

 **AND IF YOU BREAK THEM  
WE WILL HAVE TO BREAK YOU  
LIKE YOU BROKE OUR HEARTS  
REWIRE YOUR CEREBRAL CORTEX  
AND REPAIR YOUR DAMAGE PARTS!**

He then pets them lovingly.

 **Now, you wouldn't want that  
And frankly, neither would I-**

He then throws them off a cliff!

 **But sometimes to do some good  
You've gotta be The bad guy!**

Before they hit the ground, he snatches them up and rocks them like in a lullaby.

 **In this world, we play  
We hope that you will stay  
And we will throw a most Electifying soirée!**

He tosses Dipper to one of his men and gives Mabel a once-over.

 **Formal attire is required  
For you to take part  
But you've got some skin that needs removing before we start...**

Mabel screams as her eye is plucked out!

 **Let's try to make it right, don't wanna start a fight  
And we're so sorry if we give you all a little fright  
We're not so scary if you see us in the daylight  
You'll be so happy just as long as you survive the night...**

 **Survive the night...**

…..

Both Mabel and Dipper woke up screaming...

Slenderman laughs as he then turns and bows to the audience. **"** **May all our stories end so well! Until next time!"**

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: The song is a parody of 'Survive the Night' by 'Mandopony'**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	19. Rise of the Xerox

Tales of the falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...Responses...

MysterD47: Yeah, sorry. Your just too good at this. I can't keep up. From now on, I'm only doing one story for you every two weeks. That's the new deal. I might be willing to do one extra if it's updating one of the chapters to Tales of the falls, or adding a story idea you like. So what would you like your next story to be?(to be clear, I'll work on it the week after next). maybe one Also, that sounds good. Thank you.

nightmaster000: It's cool, life happens...anymore story suggestions?

...

A 5 year-old Dipper Pines wanders into the woods. _Well, time to check my leprechaun trap._ Thought Dipper to himself as he headed deeper in...completely oblivious to the fact he was being watched.

 _Ah...the smell of innocence and happiness...it makes this all the more sweeter..._

Thought the demonic faceless creature to himself as it straightened it's business suite and snuck after the boy...

…...7 years later...

Mabel had mixed feelings about coming to Gravity Falls...Well, that wasn't completely true. It wasn't so much going there she had mixed feelings about...so much as who she was going to meet...

Dipper Pines; the twin brother she barely remembered...7 years ago her brother and her parents had a huge fight...which ended with Dipper leaving home forever...

Her parents refused to say what the argument was about...and so Mabel was left with a gaping hole in her heart where her brother once filled.

It was only shortly before she left home. That a letter from Dipper arrived to explain that their Grunkle Stan took him in shortly after he left the house and now lives in Gravity Falls.

Shortly after arriving; she finally laid eyes on him. Stan just smiles and leaves them alone.

Completely overcome with emotion Mabel cries, throws herself at Dipper, and gives him a completely sincere sibling hug!

After she calms down she asks the question that's been burning inside of her all these years: "Why did Mom and Dad throw you out!?"

Dipper suddenly became very uncomfortable. "Right...it probably be best if I show you...Tyrone! You can come in now!"

It was to Mabel's surprise when a little 7 year-old version of Dipper shyly entered the room-

Mabel...I'd like you to meet Tyrone Pines...my son." Introduced Dipper. To which Mabel could only say-

WAIT, WHAT!?

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	20. A day to forget

Tales of the falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...Responses...

MysterD47: Emotion comotion, got it. All three pictures were great. So here's your options: have three stories spread over six weeks, or 1 story 2 weeks from now plus one 'Tales of the falls' update/story idea done fast, and one story two weeks after that. Or all of them 'Tales of the Falls' updates, which will be more or less the same as the second option. For other franchises, let's keep it simple. Just put it in a review in that franchise...what do you say?

imperialwar1234: Sadly yes, and it's even worse then it sounds.

Guest: That all depends on real life, my inspiration, the will of my god... and being bribed with 'Shake up the falls' chapters.

...

Dipper groaned as he woke up. He picked himself up and looked around. He was at the fair. Dipper frowned...he remembered...he remembered hurting Wendy...Then Blendind Blandin...and then...and then fixing his mistake with Wendy!

" _Wait...but how did I-_ "HEY DIPPER! You ready to have fun or what?" Dipper looks up to see his red-headed crush come toward him, indeterminate stuffed animal still being cuddled.

Dipper looked at her for a second, then shrugged. _You know what? Whatever, I'm happy. She's happy. I'll worry about the details later..._ And with that, the two walk away happily together...

"Hey, isn't that Mabel?" Asked Wendy suddenly. _Mabel? I didn't know she was at the fair today..._ Thought Dipper curiously as he turned around and saw Mabel banging her head against a pole.

"What do you think she's doing?" Asked Wendy confused. Dipper shrugged. "Either she's gotten into the sugar packets again or she's trying out a new 'game'...either way let's keep walking before were sucked in." Wendy nods in agreement. And together they both go and have a fun time at the fair...

…...

 **(Mal's whistle)**

 **Slenderman** whistles a merry tune as he swings the memory gun around. **"** **Hmmm...that should derail the Status Quo nicely...but just in case."** He quickly zaps Mabel with the gun. Erasing all memory of the time-tape, blendin, and Dipper's involvement in her losing Waddles. Leaving her with nothing but the memories of her lost pig...

" **HA! Serves you right you spoiled brat! Honestly, if I had to watch one more universe where your tantrum gets REWARDED at the expense of one of your best friends getting injured- I WAS GOING TO SCREAM!"**

Slenderman takes a deep breath to calm himself. Then flips off the readers. **"** **HATERS GONNA HATE! FEED ME YOUR FLAMES! I'M STARVING HA! HA!...** Before fading back into the ether...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	21. Lumberjack Games---Who knew?

Tales of the falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...Responses...

MysterD47: I like it, but can I make it Tyrone, instead of Dipper? Their basically the same person...plus, I just think it's a good compromise between Wendip and Dipifica fans that should be pushed more. Also, Emotion Comotion will be the thing I do next

Godzilla2915: (responded through PM).

: It depends on real life, my inspiration, the will of my god, and bribes in the form of 'Shake up the Falls' chapters.

...…...

 ** _For want of a nail the shoe was lost.  
_**

 ** _Or in this case...for want of an ax...a book was found._**

… ** _..._**

Wendy Corduroy was annoyed. Her dad made her go all the way back to the house just to get a stupid ax! For the stupid Lumberjack game!...It made her so mad! She started swinging the Ax back and forth smacking down everything nearby-

 **CRACK!  
SMACK!  
CRUNCH!  
CLANG!**

Wendy frowned. _Clang?_ She inspected the tree that made the offending sound. She taps the tree with the Ax, which makes more metallic sounds. She wipes away some dust and opens a secret window revealing a mechanical box with two control switches on top. She tests one control but nothing happens. Then she tries the other. Behind her, a hole opens up in the ground.

"What the?" Says Wendy out loud as she looks into the hole...and sees a strange book...

 **...3 years later...**

Dipper Pines wandered aimlessly through the woods setting up signs advertising his uncles shack. "Ugh, Grunkle Stan. Nobody ever believes anything I-

 **CRASH!**

 **GAH!**

Screamed Dipper as he fell into chasm that just opened below him...

...

 **OW!**

 **GAH!**

 **WHY!**

 **RIP!**

 **OW!**

 **SMACK!**

 **CRACK!**

Dipper was falling, he'd been falling for what felt like hours...it was hard to keep track when your constantly smashing into stuff-

 **GAH!**

 **OW!**

 **CRACK!**

 **WHY!?**

 **RIP!**

 **NO!**

 **WHACK!**

 **CRACK!**

Dipper groaned...had he finally reached the bottom?...No, he'd just landed on a pterodactyl...who had just taken off...yep, he's falling again-

 **CRACK!**

 **SMACK!**

 **OW!**

 **CRASH!**

 **RIP!**

 **GAH!**

 **CRACK!**

Dipper whimpered in agony. He was getting the mother of all flying wedgies. His boxers(the only scrap of clothes that hadn't got ripped off on the way down) had snagged on a branch...it hurt like crap!...but at least he wasn't falling anymore.

If he could just reach over-

 **rip**

 _Yep, that figures._ Thinks a now very naked Dipper as he continues his descent-

 **CRASH!**

 **WHACK!**

 **GAH!**

 **NO!**

 **OW!**

 **SMASH!**

 **THUD!**

Finally, Dipper had hit the bottom...he'd broken every bone in his body, he was contorted and messed up six ways to Sunday, he'd be surprised if he hadn't lost several vital organs...But the ordeal was finally-

 **BAM!**

Down went the hammer that Dipper had brought with him to nail up the posters...right on his head...needless to say he feel unconscious...and thus didn't see a certain red-head enter the clearing-

…...

Wendy Corduroy was having...a 'mixed' day. On the one hand, she'd finally vanquished those Blind-Eye Dorks...and secured her families memories of her existence back.

On the other hand...she was now being chased by something much worse. And now she found a very messed up 12-year old boy!

Wendy grimaced. She hated using up her last health elixir...but this kid needed it something fierce!

She quickly administered it and within seconds the boy was completely restored! GAH! Cried the boy as he woke up in shock.

"What just- He stopped and turned scarlet at the sight of Wendy. Wendy sighed...well, she was apparently wearing nothing but a one piece bathing suite...that seemed to be made out of a cloud of constantly-shifting, super-bright fireflies...what did she expect? Also-

Wendy suddenly went deathly pale. "What!? That's impossible! That elixir should have healed everything!" She exclaimed horrified.

The boy looked at her confused. "What are you talking about?" He asked both frightened and bewildered.

Wendy tried to sound as soothing as possible. "Please don't panic. But for whatever reason, my elixir didn't make your wang grow back! It's still gone!"

The boy looked at her mortified and humiliated as he covered himself. "It...isn't gone." Said the boy clearly trying very hard to not cry.

Wendy's eye's widened in realization and also turned scarlet. "Oh...Wow, sorry...The-the lighting here is bad." She lied lamely. "Also, it's...kinda cold...so it's only natural-

"Could you please just give me some clothes!" Demanded an exasperated Dipper.

Wendy was about to oblige...then they heard the battle horn. Quickly Wendy grabbed him and ran. "No time! They've found me!"

And so they ran; King Bowser's Horse-back riding, monkey soldiers in hot pursuit...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Why aren't their more stories where Wendy finds the journal?**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	22. On the way to the multi-bear

**Tales of the falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...Responses...

RasenganFin: with a name like that, how can I not? heh. heh...seriously though, I like to think I'm staying true to his character and giving a good Aesop on how not to stick to the stereotypical views of being a man, and focusing on love, loyalty, perseverance, courage, and wisdom is what makes a true man. Also, do you have any story suggestions you'd like to submit?

MysterD47:...nope, sorry, I just can't do it. I'm a weird guy with an even stranger mindset and thought process. I'll do everything else that you want, I won't mention Wendy at all, I won't even mention it's a clone, if you want to think of it as an AU where Dipper got his wish and was named Tyrone, that's fine...but I just can't do it...unless...would you be okay if Dipper had been in a relationship with Wendy...but then she died? And Pacifica was the rebound? I might be willing to do it then.

imperialwar1234: Thank you, yes it was...do you have any story suggestions you'd like to submit?

...

Dipper jumped down from the tree's! Only a couple more miles! Then he'd slay the multi-bear! His trials would be complete! Then truly he would be a man! Let nothing stop him!

"Uh, dipper?" Asked a confused, familiar voice. Dipper looked around and saw Wendy. "What are you doing?...Actually forget that, what are you wearing?" Asked Wendy feeling more awkward by the second.

It's at that point Dipper very became self-conscious of wearing nothing but a loincloth in front of the girl he liked. Embarrassed, he covered himself.

"Oh...Uh-Stan! Yeah! Stan made me do this! It's...a new promotion for the shack!"

"Oh...okay then." Said a very uncomfortable Wendy...there was only so much you could say when your friend was standing almost-naked in front of you.

A couple more awkward pauses elapsed before Dipper cleared his throat. "Right, so I should get going. See you later!" Shouted Dipper as he quickly ran behind the nearest tree-

 **RIP!**

It was the mother of all awkward silences. Dipper had made it behind the tree, his loincloth had not. It had snagged on a bush near the tree...

After several long, painful minutes of silence. A very flustered Wendy spoke up. "Should I just leave?" "Would you?." Asked a mortified Dipper from behind the tree.

…...

A couple minutes latter. Dipper was back on the move, and he was pissed!

…...

Meanwhile, The multi-bear was getting a very bad feeling...

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: SERIOUSLY, Why aren't their more dipper V.S. Manliness AU's that involve Wendy? Could someone explain it to me?**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	23. Bad begining 2 :inspired by GojiraCipher

Tales of the falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...Responses...

MysterD47: You misunderstand, I meant that I would keep it ambiguous about whether that was the case or not. Leaving it all to your imagination.

RasenganFin: I love it! I'll have to tweak it a bit. But don't worry, 'little Dipper' won't be making an appearance, THAT I can guarantee.

nightmaster000: I've heard of it but never actually read that manga...seems kinda confusing...is it good? What exactly is it supposed to be about?

NyaNyaKittyFace: Thank you!...do you have a story idea suggestion you'd like to submit?

 **AN: this story was inspired by GojiraCipher. Give HIS stories a read! Their good!**

...

Slenderman peaked behind him as Mable continued to throw her little fit at things not going her way for once...he busied himself sending his shadows to whisper thoughts to Dipper.

 **She's seriously getting upset over this one little thing? How many times have I been heartbroken, hurt and ridiculed this summer?... More importantly...how many things have gone RIGHT for HER this summer?...**

Now that Dipper thought about it...it was all a bit uneven...

 **What was my reason for not being Ford's apprentice and staying at the one place that's been more of a home to you then anywhere else again? Not wanting to be locked up in a fantasy world working non-stop in the basement?...**

 _Wait...that makes no sense... I've clearly seen Ford up and about researching wildlife and other anomalies! Not to mention the trip to Antarctica! And for the times I'd have to work in the lab...well so what? Getting to do what you love beside a man you respect and who working with will probably make you rich and famous...that doesn't sound like a 'fantasy world' to me! That sounds like a Dream job!_ Exclaimed Dipper to himself.

 **Yeah, seriously. Boy, what was I on when you- I mean 'I' thought up that 'gem'?...**

Slenderman decided to ease off for now. Dipper had (semi-)stopped trying to comfort Mable and was going into some deep thought..

some savory bashing was all well and good...but if you didn't spread it out...it just seemed tacked on...

Plus he recycled that last argument from somewhere else...didn't want to appear a hypocri- Oh, who was he kidding? Like he gave a blood for whatever anyone else thought! This was all about boredom! Nothing else!

Which reminded him...he had preparations to make! He wiped out his phone...and called an old contact...

...couple hours later; at the twins house...

Dipper thought that after everything Gravity Falls had thrown at him, nothing could surprise him anymore...

"Don't worry my boy! Your sister will be in good hands!" Said Dr. Richard "Rick" Trager, as his orderlies helped a still submissive and melancholy Mable into their van without a struggle.

After coming home, they found a group of orderlies from a Mount Massive Asylum waiting for them. Apparently their parents had grown concerned for Mable's mental state and had left town to have the orderlies be sent and test Mable.

Something about all this seemed fishy to Dipper...but a quick phone call to their parents proved it was all legit...

...

-"You heard me Mr! Listen to the orderlies and do whatever they say! Your father and I decided to relax at a SPA for a couple of weeks. We left a debit card on the table, your a big boy and were confident you can look after yourself! Love you! See you soon!" Said Slenderman over the phone with a perfect mimic of their mothers voice.

He turned to the reader. **Ain't I a stinker?** He teased as Caste Raiders men finished burying Mr and Mrs. Pines corpses in the background...

...

Needless to say; in Mable's current state, she failed the test...and they took her away. Mable...Mable didn't resist...she didn't care...if mom said it was fine...but mostly she just didn't care about much at the moment...

Needless to say Dipper wasn't in the best of spirits the next day when he went to school...Thankfully everyone ignored him(as usual)...and he got into his seat without a fuss.

A very boring, normal looking man entered the room. "Good afternoon class. My name is Mr. Stanley Lenderman. And I'll be your teacher this year."

Dipper barely listened as the man droned on how their would be a change in policy this year...all he could think about was Mable...they wouldn't even let him visit her!

Apparently he was an 'Enabler' to her 'Co-dependent tendencies' and thus deemed an 'obstacle' to her rehabilitation process...What did that even mean?

"But more on that later! Right now we have three new students!" Dipper briefly look up...and nearly cursed out loud...

It was Emma Sue...and the other two girls...

...Meanwhile...

Once she got to the Asylum, Mable was forcibly stripped of everything and made to wear a hospital gown...without her sweater she felt worse then naked...

"Hey sweetie! Come over here, I got some candy for you to bite!"

"Who's a pretty thing? YOU ARE!"

"nuf eht fo trap s'ti mih ot naM rednelS naM rednelS! nur ot yrt nerdlihc eht lla naM rednelS naM rednelS!"

Screamed the patients as Mable was lead by. Their bony, malnourished hands frantically grasping at her...

Finally, they made it to her room. Without a word, she was forcibly shoved in and the door was locked behind her. Mable looked around the dimly lit room...and saw a mountain of a man busying himself lifting a weight...

"Uh...knock, knock." She says as she actually knocks on the wall. "My names Mable...and I guess I'm your new roommate." She admitted nervously.

The man looked at the girl with surprise...then sympathy. "My dear sweet, little pig...I don't know who your family pissed off to get you sent to this hellhole...but you have my sympathy." Said Chris Walker sincerely...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	24. Shinobi Falls

Tales of the falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...Responses...

nightmaster000: Sounds interesting...I'll have to look into that...

imperialwar1234: Wow...that is amazing...I'll have to research the series first...but yeah, sounds good!

HyperA1985: Your wish is my command...

MysterD47:(takes a deep breath) Look, I'm not going to get into a huge shipping war with you over this. I'm the one who's going to do all the work, I'm literally only asking you to change one thing. The rest of the story will just as you ask of it. If you agree, this story will be the next one I do here(I'll even do it the same day as this chapter here). I'm sorry if this sounds mean. But those are my terms; take it or leave it.

NyaNyaKittyFace: Eh, Chris Walker always seemed like a well-intentioned extremist to me...who was also insane...and who's death made everyone feel safer. But I digress. Also, thank you! I've tried to get a TDI/GF crossover going...but a good idea just wasn't forthcoming! Thank you! You'll have to give more detail for the other one though.

...

It was a quiet day in Konohagakure...or it was until people saw their beloved Hokage monument being desecrated-

 **BOOM!**

 _Oh, boy. We really wen too far this time._ Admitted a whiskered orange-wearing blonde- But enough about him, he's old news.

Were here to talk about his partner in crime...Mabel Pines. She giggled as she ran with her friend away from the angry mob. "See you later Naruto!" Shouts Mabel as they split up.

The mob is briefly disoriented, but one look at the mountain showing their beloved Kages defiling each other in a naked orgy is enough to stiffen their resolve to press on...

…...

The Hokage Sarutobi merely groaned at the sight. _So much paperwork..._ He bemoaned to himself. He quickly shakes his head of such thoughts. He had to focus on team assignments. He looked over to the usual Jonin; Kakashi, Kurenia, Gai, Asuma and Anko...but also one newcomer Chunin. A girl named Wendy Corduroy.

For a long time she'd been categorized as 'Brilliant but Lazy'. She had great skill and potential...but lacked the ambition to do anything beyond genin. Recently however, that had changed. She was pushing herself more. For the first time ever, she made an attempt at getting a promotion...and won with flying colors.

 _And I have a good suspicion why that is._ Thought Sarutobi with a smirk. But he kept this thought silent as said girl approached him.

She bowed respectively. "Hokage-sama; I have a list here of several dozen random combinations of genin teams that I'd be happy to mentor. I'm not inflexible, so I'll go with whichever one you pick without complaint."

Sarutobi looked over the list with interest. Meanwhile, Wendy crossed her fingers. _Don't comment on it, don't comment on it._ She pleads inwardly.

Sarutobi smirked. "I can't help but notice that all these 'random' teams all have one thing in common...namely a certain Pines boy."

Wendy groans as the jonin behind her start to snicker. "Oh! Trying to get more access to your boy-toy Wendy-chan?" Teased Anko.

Wendy went scarlet. "I-it's not like that! Look, I'm the one who started him as a shinobi...I just want to make sure he's safe! Is that so wrong?" She asked.

The other Jonin just gave knowing smirks. Thanks to Anko they(and most of the village) knew the story. Pretty nice romantic setup: Wendy hated work, but liked working with little kids. So she spent most of her work hours at the orphanage.

She was well liked there...but none loved her more than Dipper did. Before Wendy started working there, he'd been teased and bullied mercilessly. Wendy swiftly(and if the rumors were to believed, rather 'brutally') put a stop to that.

After that they became very close friends. Seeing he was brilliant but shy. Wendy tried to get him out of his shell with games of Checkers, Chess, Go, Xiangqi, Shogi, and Janggi!

At first Dipper was too nervous to attempt it. So Wendy promised that if he beat her at all these games...she'd do one thing that he wanted. After that Dipper threw himself into the games with zeal...which lead to the following-

…...

" _Wow, I'm impressed Dipper! We've only been doing this for a couple of days and you've already beaten me at all of them! Your a natural!"_

 _The 11 year-old blushed. "T-thanks Wendy." He stammered. Wendy smiled. "Alright Dipper, deals a deal. Name it and I'll do it."_

 _Dipper turned even more red...but after a moment's hesitation...he muttered something under his breath. Wendy frowned. "I'm sorry Dipper...what was that? You'll have to speak up."_

 _Dipper took a deep breath, then stared Wendy directly in the eye's..."I want to be your boyfriend." He said with conviction._

 _There was a long, awkward silence- BA! HA! HA! HA! -Which was broken by Anko. "Sorry, sorry(snort)...remembered a funny joke." She lied lamely._

 _Meanwhile, Wendy was in full panic mode. Dipper was a nice kid, her best friend really(which was kinda sad if you thought about it)...But he was way too young!...On the other hand not only did she make a promise...she was well aware of Dipper's crippling self-esteem issues...she could never live with herself if she hurt his feelings!_

 _This train of thought is of course what led to her making what was now considered throughout the village, 'the worst idea ever'. Before she realized what she was doing, she was weaving a BS yarn about a law that forbid shinobi's from dating anyone except shinobi's of the same rank._

" _Huh, strange...I can't say I recall ever hearing that rule." Teased Anko trying hard not to laugh. Wendy glared. "It's a new law." She stated irritably._

" _Oh...gotcha!...Wait, I think I remember it now!...didn't I hear it the same time you promised to buy me all those dangos?" She asked slyly. Wendy forced a smile. "Yes."..._

…...

Anko laughed. "It was a pretty okay plan you thought up: Tell boy he needs to be a shinobi to be with girl, boy gets frustrated by how difficult it is to graduate and quits like most do, boy goes back to being 'just a friend' with girl...Too bad the exact opposite happened!" She teased.

Wendy groaned. She didn't understand what had happened! She'd gone over Dipper's grades. First couple of months he'd been struggling! It really looked like he might quit! Then- BOOM! Out of nowhere, he climbs up to top of his class, rookie of the year! Even beating that Sasuke kid!(how was that even possible? He was twice Dippers size!)

"I find it curious how around the time he started doing great; you do a sudden full '180' on your thought about getting promotion and go for it...delaying the inevitable are we?" Teased Kakashi.

Before a flustered Wendy can even respond, Gai sweeps her aside. "My dear girl your love for the boy is youthful...but your lie is not."

Kurenai sighs. "Weird as it is, I agree with Gai. Your toying with that poor boys feelings, this won't end well at all."

Wendy groaned. "Look I appreciate the advice...But I will handle this okay? I will think of a way to get through this with our friendship intact and his feelings unhurt!...I just I need more time is all"...

The jonin just rolled their eyes. The old kage just shook his head amused. _Ah to be young, foolhardy, and believing yourself invincible...those were simpler days indeed._ Nonetheless, he agreed to a team consisting of Dipper, his sister and that Northwest girl. _Oh, well. She'll learn...for better or for worse, she'll learn..._

…...

Dipper leaped out of the academy excited. He passed! He was a Genin! _I'm one step closer to being with Wendy-chan...and I owe it all to you!_ Thinks Dipper as looks down lovingly at the mysterious journal he discovered over a year ago...

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	25. TyroneXPacifca shower: MysterD47

Tales of the falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...Responses...

imperialwar1234: good to know

MysterD47: deals a deal; enjoy!

...

Tyrone sighed as he wandered the halls of Mcgucket Manor. It sucked that everywhere else was full...still, at least Pacifica was stuck here too...that was nice...

Anyway, time for a shower. He walks into the room, takes off his clothes, puts them in the laundry chute. He's about to head for the shower when he sees muddy hoofprints on the floor.

 _Waddles? How'd he get here?_ Thought a confused Tyrone as he quickly followed the tracks to the balcony, closing the door behind him...

Meanwhile; who should step out of the shower, but a naked Pacifica holding Waddles.

"Honestly don't know why Mable puts up with you. eating all the towels and robes. Getting muddy hoofprints all over- She then jimmies the door handle to try and open it -Annnd the door is stuck...great...just great..."

At that moment Tyrone walks back in. _Weird, couldn't find him. At least were on the 5th floor and no one could see me. I-_

It's then that Tyrone slips on soap-

 **CRASH!**

And that's how a naked Tyrone ended up lying on an equally naked Pacifica. Both of them looked at each other...both too embarrassed and mortified to speak...

 _Oh, no...he sees how small my breasts are..._ Thought a mortified Pacifica to herself...

 _Oh, no...she's going to see how small my dick is..._ Thought an equally mortified Tyrone...

He tried to hide it...but being so close to a naked Pacifica...was making 'little' Dipper very easy to see.

Paciifca saw this. _He...he's tiny!...like me- sorta -but...he also likes it! He... still thinks I'm attractive even though I'm 'flat'?_ That...made Pacifica feel wonderful...

It's then she realized how embarrassed Tyrone must feel right now...

She looks up to him. "It's okay Tyrone...I'm in no position to judge...in fact...I think your attractive too..."

Tyrone looks at her surprised...but smiles...and thanks her. He then helps her up...

Now the question was...how were they going to get out of locked room naked?

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	26. Into the defective

Tales of the falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...Responses...

RasenganFin: that's...one way to look at it...I guess.

...

The gang looked around in amazement. Robots! As far as the eye could see. Thousands of broken down robots on hundreds of shelves. "Whoa! What do you think the author was doing down here?"Asked Soos.

Dipper shrugged "Beats me...maybe we'll find more information here." Said Dipper as he walked over to what appeared to be a control room. He looked at all the buttons and levers.

"Alright, this equipment looks delicate...best we don't rush-" "Hey! A red button!" Shouted Mabel as she pressed it. Before Dipper could chastise her. The switch board began to light up and eerie music began to play over the intercom...

 **Robot #22: He failed the turret peer review**

"W-what's happening?" Asked a frightened Wendy as the lights in the room began to switch on...

 **Robot #24: He died before he hit the floor**

"Guys! The robots! Look!" Shouted Soos. Sure enough all the robots were starting to move...

 **Robot #25: He** ** _never_** **made it out alive**

Dipper paled at that last verse. Well, that's ominous. He admitted as one by one the robots began to turn to the group on flop off the shelves...

 **And Robot #29: Died on the assembly line**

Mabel was feeling scared. "Uh, maybe we should-" Suddenly, she found herself flying through the air and slapped onto the assembly line. "Mabel!" Screamed dipper, just as the robots began to run at the group.

 **You want to live? Don't hold your breath...**

Mabel screamed as tubes forcibly tore into her flesh and drained her blood...

 **This isn't life. It's living death**

 **But not to fear; were most humane**

Mabel begged for mercy the whole time as her organs were forcibly ripped from her body..

 **You'll never be** ** _Yourself_** **again**

The gang tried to run but there was so many! Suddenly one of the shelves fell over spilling dozens of screaming dilapidated robots onto Wendy. "Wendy!" Screamed Dipper. But Soos grabbed him and forced him to keep running

 **Robot #44: He couldn't take it anymore**

 **Robot #46: The mechanic simply** ** _Couldn't_** **fix**

 **Robot #48: He perished from a gruesome fate**

 **And Robot #49: Simply ran** ** _right_** **out of time**

 **You want to live? Don't hold your breath...**

 **This isn't life. It's** ** _living death..._**

 **But not to fear; were** ** _most_** **humane...**

Wendy cried out in agony as her clothes, flesh, and bones were ripped to pieces...

 **You'll never be** ** _Yourself_** **again...**

Soos was next. He fell down a trapdoor and was forcibly strapped to a weird chair...

 **Robot #62:** ** _All_** **he ever saw was blue**

 **Robot #63: Had an invalid** ** _5Er1aL-k3y_**

 **Robot #65: He suffered a corrupted drive**

 **And Robot #67: Found his way into Android Heaven**

 **You want to live? Don't hold your breath...**

 **This isn't life. It's** ** _living death..._**

 **But** ** _not_** **to fear; were** ** _most_** **humane...**

Soos screamed as a giant needle stabbed him in the forehead and fried his brain from the inside out...

 **You'll** ** _never_** **be** ** _Yourself_** **again...**

Scared and alone dipper frantically tried to find his way out of this nightmare. Suddenly a glass wall shot up in front of him. He turned around, but already more glass walls popped up. Trapping him in a glass box. That was being surrounded by broken, messed up robots still singing their hellish shantie...

 **Us defective droids. All we know...**

 **Is how it feels, to be alone...**

 **Beyond repair, we sit and rust...**

 **Broken down, collecting dust!**

 **We never had the chance to prove...**

 **What it is we were built to do!**

 **Doomed to fail, the final nail...**

 **In the coffin, of eternal jail!**

Right on que, a sickly green smoke began to be poured into the box...

 **You want to live? Don't hold your breath...**

they sang as Dipper tried to hold his breath...

 **This isn't life. It's** ** _living death..._**

Dipper gave up when his eyes burst apart...

 **But** ** _not_** **to fear; were** ** _most_** **humane...**

Dippers skin begins to melt...

 **You'll never be yourself again**

Dipper banged on the glass wall and begged for mercy until his tongue fell out...

 **You'll never be Yourself again**

Dipper stopped banging when his lungs went up in flames...

 **You'll never be** ** _Yourself_** **again**

Dipper flopped onto the ground writhing and flailing in agony...

 **You'll never be** ** _Yourself_** **again...**

Now Dipper was still...

…...

Several hours later outside the fake tree. A weird sight could be seen. Out of a trapdoor was thrown a P-body, an Atlas, a companion cube, and a core. After a minute of silence. The core woke up, looked around. And after a moments observation. "Well this sucks." Said the Dipper Core...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: The song is 'the pit song' by Harry101uk  
**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	27. My life as a teenage supernaturalist

**Tales of the falls**

 **I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!**

...Responses...

MysterD47: I aim to please!...within reason... Yes, I got that. Thank you. I like it...but what do you want me to do with it? I don't get how it's compatible with the shower story.

NyaNyaKittyFace: Not here to judge you my friend...

Wolfang21: I'm going to tell you what I tell everyone: What stories I do next are up in the air. It all depends on real life, my will...and bribes. For every ONE 'Shake up the falls' chapter you publish, I'll update THREE stories of your choosing

nightmaster000: Interesting you should bring that up...

...

 **ENTRY: 65**

 **Many years ago I briefly worked with a brilliant lady named Dr. Nora Wakeman. Who was obsessed with the concept of "synthesis"(the perfect fusion of man and machine). However-**

Dipper groaned. The rest of the entry was to smudged to read! _Well, at least the map to her house was still intact. Maybe this "Wakeman" can give me clues about the author..._

…...

Dipper gasped in horror. The house was in ruins! Dipper sighed, he knew it was too good to be true! Oh, well. Maybe there was still some stuff to be salvaged...

…...

Dipper was picking through the wreckage when he found a weird looking gizmo. Dipper tried to rub some of the grime off-

 **ACTIVATE!**

Shouted the gizmo as it came to life. Dipper hastily dropped it.

 **SCANNING AREA!**

The Gizmo starts to send beams that cover the area. Suddenly it lands on dippers journal. It immediately focuses on that. After several seconds-

 **IDENTIFICATION CONFIRMED! WECOME BACK MR. S!**

Suddenly Dipper found himself falling...down a dilapidated tunnel...with clearly eroded safety features-

 **OW!**

 **OW!**

 **OW!**

 **OW!**

 **OW!**

Cried Dipper as he smashed himself at every twist and turn. Finally he landed in a strange lab. Dipper, delirious from the pain. Stumbles around until he slams into a computer.

 **REANIMATION SEQUENCE ACTIVATED!**

Shouts the computer as it comes back to life. Dipper finally succumbs to the pain and falls unconscious...But not before he hears-

 **XW(endy)-9 COMING BACK ONLINE!**

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	28. Carpet diem: Dipper grows a spine

Tales of the falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...Responses...

NyaNyaKittyFace: Yes, there is. You know the creator of MLTR went on to help write GF?

Guest: what?

imperialwar1234: thank you.

MysterD47: Oh, okay. I'll do that and Jungle gem two weeks from now. I saw it...I liked it...but I might need a few more details before I can make it a story.

...

Once more Slenderman was at his typewriter...rewriting the fabric of reality...

 **DIPPER FUMED SILENTLY AS HIS BELOVED, QUIRKY SISTER REFUSED TO STOP HER SLUMBER PARTIES...**

These words shifted and changed...the light was scared off...and the dark gained ground-

 **A BRUISED AND BATTERED DIPPER WAS ENRAGED WHEN HIS BRAT OF A SISTER REFUSED HIS ONE REQUEST...**

And as the words changed...so did the world...

...

Dipper glared as Mable poked him with the fun stick. "WHAT THE BLOOD MABLE!" He screamed suddenly as he grabbed the fun stick and smacked her with it!

A startled Mable Fell over...and down the stairs?

 **CRASH!**

 **OW!**

 **CRASH!**

 **WHY!?**

 **CRASH!**

 **SON OF A NUT!**

 **CRASH!**

Mable groaned as she hit the floor. "W-where...stairs...come from? We...just...in...room?"

 **CRACK!**

 **GAH!**

Screamed Mable as she Dipper broke the fun stick over her head He forcibly lifts her up and punches her in the face.

 **CRACK!**

GETTING REAL SICK OF YOU LAUGHING AT MY PAIN MABLE!

 **POW!**

MY LEG WAS ALMOST RIPPED OFF BY A WOLF!

 **WHACK!**

A WOODPECKER TRIED TO BITE OFF MY TONGUE!

 **SMACK!**

YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS TRASHED OUR ROOM AND MY STUFF!

 **POW!**

MOST SIBLINGS WOULD BE CONCERNED FOR THE OTHERS WELL BEING!

Dipper forcibly puts the pieces of the fun stick into Mables bloody mouth and forcibly yanks said mouth upright. "Remind me how long We slaved over that mini-golf course in our room! Remind me!" He screams at her.

Mable whimpers. "A-all night until... 2: 99 AM-ish?-

 **BANG!**

 **GAH!**

Screamed Mable as Dipper shot her in the kneecap. "2: 59 AM! Dose anything we do matter to you!?" Screams Dipper.

"Wait, where'd you get that gun-

 **BANG !**

 **GAH!**

Screamed Mable as the other kneecap was shot. Dipper then proceeds to pistol whip her over and over.

 **CRACK!**

"Don't make a fool of me Mable!"

 **POW!**

"Don't make a fool of me!"

 **WHACK!**

"I want my respect!"

 **SMACK!**

"Where's my respect!?"

 **POW!**

"You gonna give me my respect!?"

 **CRACK!**

Dipper throws Mable to the ground with disgust and seems to walk away. Mable groans as she tries to lift herself up. "Dipper...please...this is cray- OH MY BLOOD!"

Screams Mable right before Dipper lets loose with a flamethrower!

 **GAH!**

 **OH SWEET PAUL BUNYAN, NO!**

 **AIOSHIMA, WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME!?**

 **I COULDN'T BE IN MORE PAIN!**

Finally the flames died down...Mable coughed out soot as she weeped. "Okay...no more Slumber parties..."

...

Slenderman laughed at this scene. And turns to the reader. **Isn't this great? Feels better don't it? Like when you lance a festering boil or carbuncle, and the pain flows away with the ozzing discharge!**

 **May all our stories end so well...until next time!**

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	29. TyroneXPacifca shower 2

Tales of the falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...Responses...

RasenganFin: Actually, in a way. This is my therapy. Writing stories like this is my equivalent of 'Writing an angry letter and ripping it up'. A healthy way to vent my anger that doesn't hurt any (real) people.

MysterD47: No, I meant is their anything specific you want to happen to them or between them? Also, enjoy!

imperialwar1234: I think we all feel like that. I have no idea what that is.

nightmaster000: Hey maybe you can see when my 'boss' will get back to me about actually getting me a job. heh. heh...seriously though, that would be great. Thank you. Well, it's Dipper...and it's gravity Falls...so, not well.

NyaNyaKittyFace: Your welcome. Yeah...not crazy about that episode...either they just didn't think it through, ret-conned Dipper to make him scared, or just wanted to shoehorn another 'Family friendly Aesop'.

...

"Alright, I think I see the problem." Said a naked Tyrone as he bent over to fix the lock.. Pacifica said nothing, she was too busy 'admiring the view'.

Finally Tyrone got the door open. "Right, i had to render the lock unusable...but at least now we can get dressed."

Pacifica sighed as they both walked out of the room. _Oh, well...fun while it lasted...wish it could'a lasted longer though..._

...Meanwhile...

 **BANG!**

A very soused Soos and Mable stumbled into the mansion. "I-(hic) -love this town! (hic) I can't wait to see...(hic)my clone brother!"

Soos frowned. "(hic) I thought- (Hic) Wasn't he...just your -(hic) birth brother?"

Mable frowned, thought about it, then vomited, then laughed. "HA! HA! (hic) I can't...I can't remember which!(hic) Maybe- maybe it's- (hic) both!"

Soos laughed. "Why not!?(hic) THIS. IS. GRAVITY FALLS! (hic)Weirder things have happened..."

Together they stumble comically up the stairs...to the floor that Tyrone and Pacifica is on!

Hearing footsteps, they quickly run back into the shower room. Unfortunately, the lock is still unusable...

"I think I (hic) left Waddles in the toilet!" Shouts Mable.

With no other options Tyrone and Pacifica run into the shower and close the door...it's a tight squeeze...this room was DEFINITELY not built with two people in mind...

And so...two awkward kids were scrunched together...which of course was 'little' dipper's que to 'wake'.

 _I hate this._ Thinks Tyrone.

 _I love this._ Thinks Pacifica with a smirk...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	30. Bad begining 3: inspired by GojiraCipher

Tales of the falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...Responses...

HyperA1985: He already technically appeared in ch. 24. As for this chapter...maybe not this one...but It's definitely a possibility for the next.

imperialwar1234: thank you...I think. Dang it, I forgot. Sorry.

 **AN: this story was inspired by GojiraCipher. Give HIS stories a read! Their good!**

...

While the twins were 'adjusting' to these new...'challenges'... So too were their friends in Gravity Falls.

Pacifica Northwest took a long deep breath as she stared at her new school. _Okay Pacifica, you can no longer afford to go to your private school, your so called 'old friends' won't give you the time of day anymore...but you survived a ghost, undid your parents brainwashing and survived an Apocalypse! There's nothing you can't do!_

 **CLANG!**

She watched as the 'Northwest' part of Northwest Middle School was torn off...and replaced by 'Quentin Trembly'.

"Ooookay...just going to ignore that." Stated Pacifica flatly as she walked in for her first day at the newly dubbed 'Quentin Trembly Middle School'...

...later...

Pacifica sat down for the 'first day of school pow-wow' in the auditorium. Thankfully, Candy and Grenda were already saving her a seat.

A man walked up to the podium on the stage. "Hello students! I'm one of your new teachers! Stanford Lenderman, at your service! First order of business...were forcibly dropping out 50% of you."

"Wait, what?" Said Pacifica suddenly.

The man shrugged as the murmuring increased. "Hey don't blame me...our 'beloved' Mayor Tyler is the one who got the bright idea to impose a 'nothing to see here' attitude in a town where most of it's revenue comes from tourism." He shook his head. "Anyway, since it's hardly fair to just kick kids out for the mistakes of politicians...were going to do this the fairest way possible...

 **CRASH!**

He smashed the podium in two with an AXE! "WITH A BLOODY BATTLE TO THE DEATH! The doors are locked and your weapons are under your chairs...GO FOR IT!"

"Again, WAIT WHAT!?" Shouted Pacifica, before a crossbow is tossed into her hands by Candy who has already brought up a bazooka-

"Less talking, more bashing!" Shouts Grenda as she brings up a claymore and cleaves three heads off.

 _Wow, I didn't even need to posses anyone this time to get things rolling!_ Laughed the 'teacher' to himself as the children murdered each other.

...later...

as the survivors walked out of the auditorium...drenched in tears, blood, vomit, gay matter, and cinders...they all had major mental breakdowns...except Pacifica, Grenda, and candy of course...they'd seen WAY freakier things in their adventures with the Pines Twins...

"Okay...is this NORMAL for public schools?" asked a rattled Pacifica who was barely holding it together.

Hey, I just said they weren't having mental breakdowns. I never said they were 'fine'.

Candy frowned. "No...this is a new one."

Mr. Lenderman laughed as he came up behind them. "If you think this is bad, you should see what were forced to do for the actual classes! Your gonna need these by the way." He gives all three of them radiation suits and a barrel of sulfuric acid.

"Now don't dawdle! Class will begin soon!" And with that he skipped away merrily through the blood and entrails of former students.

Pacifica turned to her new friends. "Riiiiiight, all in favor of ditching school? Preferably forever?" The other two girls were quick to agree.

Slenderman tore off his teacher disguise as the girls ran into the woods. **Huh, smart kids.** Said the abomination with a smirk(somehow).

 **Well, I guess I won't be needing this school anymore.** Said Slenderman out loud as he burnt the school and sold the remaining students to Simpleton the Strong...and then silently stalked the three girls...

...

 _Huh, maybe my luck is turning around!_ Thought Pacifica to herself as she soaked in the hot spring they'd just found.

They put up leaves to separate the sections so they could bathe and wash their clothes privately.

Well, Grenda and Candy washed their clothes. Pacifica put it off and just relaxed. Finally, she was able to get herself out of the wondrous bubbling water. She walked herself over to where she set her clothes...only to find they weren't there.

Pacifica let out an annoyed sigh. "Oh, ha, ha. Very funny. Very amusing. Now give me back my clothes." She shouts to the other side of the hotspring.

"Pacifica what are you talking about? We didn't do anything to your clothes." Shouts back Candy

Pacifica groaned. "Well, that's just great! What happened to them?"

"Uh...I might know." Said a familiar voice behind her.

Pacifica turns around surprised. "Dipper!?" She shouts out startled...only to find no one there.

There was a nervous cough. "Uh, down here." She looks down and sees a tiny Dipper Pines Russian matryoshka doll.

The doll then flustered at the sight of the cute, giant and naked Pacifica. "Right...okay. Please don't freak out-

Pacifica promptly covered herself and screamed...

...…...

 **TO BE CONTINUED?**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	31. Akatsuki Falls

Tales of the falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...Responses...

NyaNyaKittyFace: Don't forget selling most of the surviving kids into slavery

imperialwar1234: Fair enough, I'll just give tribute of a thousand mutilated Mables to Slenderman to counteract any bad Voodoo.

MysterD47: It's just...what do you want to happen next? After they lose their clothes? The ideas I have for situations like this are reserved for other stories already. I like it...is it safe to assume you want payment in the form of another TyronexPacifica chapter?

...

 _I'm going to go stare at a wall and rethink everything..._

These are the words that Wendy told her friend/'Precious crush' Dipper Pines...and in her defense she probably meant that...

Unfortunately, she lived by a universe governed by a 'Status Quo'...and in the mainstream universe...the Status Quo would've made sure that nothing meaningful came of this epiphany-

 **ZAP! GAH!**

This is not the mainstream universe...

Wendy groaned. One second she'd been walking home through the woods...the next she was in pain and on the ground...the last thing she saw were two 'men' wearing long black cloaks with red clouds, with a red interior, and chin-high collar's...

…..

Dipper Pines trudged wearily through the woods in defeat. It had been a week since the convenient store incident...a week since Wendy vanished on her way home afterwards...A week of trying to find her!

What infuriated Dipper was that besides manly Dan and himself...no one seemed to be taking it seriously! The cops were morons! Her so called 'friends' were pretending the whole thing never happened! Like Wendy never existed! But worst of all was his 'family'! They kept insisting he forget about Wendy and 'Move on'. Grunkle Stan was forcing him to stay busy with non-Wendy related chores. His sister was trying to set him up with 'rebounds'.

 _So that's it? Just move on!? Just pretend that one of the best things to ever come into my life never existed!? Especially when she's who know's where!?...what is wrong with them!? Why can't they ever take anything seriously?!_

In any case he found a potential lead amongst the minotaurs...but they refused to give him it unless he proves himself a 'true man'. Dipper passed all their tests...except for the last one...he just couldn't do it...the Multi-bear was too nice of a guy...

Dipper sighed as he walked back to the 'Man-cave'...What was he supposed to do now? He needed-

 **BOOM!**

A large explosion shook the woods. _That came from the minotaurs cave!_ Thought Dipper to himself as he ran toward the commotion. He arrived just in time to see the last of the minotaurs being shackled and loaded onto a cart by creepy puppet-like things.

Chutzpar groggily wakes up and finds himself bound, he then sees Dipper heading toward them. "Destructor! Leave us! Their too powerful! They have your lady! Head into town! They won't-

He was silenced by one of the creatures knocking him out before they went after Dipper. Fortunately, Dipper got the gist of it.

 _Whatever these things were, they obviously don't want attention from town._ Thought Dipper as he ran through the treetops. He reluctantly suppressed the joy of finding a lead on Wendy to focus on survival. He couldn't save Wendy if he was dead after all!

He could see it! A busy intersection! Just a few more feet-

snag.

Which was of course when one of the things grabbed the back of his loincloth. Without hesitation Dipper slammed his spear into it's face and rips off his own loincloth while it was still dazed.

He successfully runs onto the intersection. He breaths a sigh of relief when he sees the creatures leave...

…...

Fortunately, Dipper was able to get home unseen(minus one encounter with a certain rich blonde). Unfortunately, no one would believe his story...especially his family...Dipper was starting to see Red...Specifically the red blood in his nightmares coming from a captive Wendy...which was making him mad TOO...

…...

Stan begins to address his employees to explain about their roles for tonight's party. "Alright party people...and...Dipper? Wait, where is that kid?" Sure enough, Soos and Mabel were there...but Dipper wasn't.

Stan groaned. "Not again..." He quickly runs off to find him. Followed by Mabel. They find Dipper packed up and heading out the door.

"Hold it! Where do you think your going?" Demanded Stan.

"I'm going to find Wendy, don't try and stop me." Stated Dipper firmly without stopping.

"The hell you are! You can play 'crazy conspiracy professor' on your own time! But while you live under my roof-

"Fine! I'll live out in the woods! I doubt the wolves are bigger jerks than you!" Stated Dipper as he began walking out the door-

"You walk out that door and your dead to me!" Shouted Stan. Dipper didn't hesitate at all slamming the door in his face.

Mabel was quick to run out after him. "Wait, Dipper stop! Come back inside! I'm sure Grunkle Stan didn't mean that!" She shouted as she tried to pull him back toward the Shack.

Dipper shook her off. "Mabel if you won't help me, then just leave me be."

"What? No, come on Dipper! Come back inside and enjoy the party!...we have karaoke, salsa, cute girls your age and the fun stick! Doesn't that sound better then searching some creepy old woods?" Asked Mabel as she poked him with said fun stick.

An angry Dipper snatched the stick and broke it in two. "Dang it Mabel! Wendy's in trouble! We need to save her!"

"Oh, from what? The creepy puppet people?" Said Mabel skeptically.

"YES!" Snapped Dipper annoyed. "And while were on the subject: I can sorta understand Stan's skepticism, but you? You've actually seen supernatural stuff! You've seen gnomes, mechanical lake monsters, living wax people, crazy mystic psychics, and ghosts! And yet I feel like I have to 're-prove' myself to you every week ! Honestly, I feel like I'm dealing with an amnesiac sometimes! Why can't you take something seriously for once!?"

"Well, why can't you stop obsessing over your stupid supernatural stuff and enjoy life like a normal person!?" Snapped a fed up Mabel.

Dipper glared. "Oh I see...if it's important to me it's 'stupid' but if I don't do what YOU want...that makes me not normal?" Asked Dipper with tranquil fury.

Mabel blanched. "What? No! Dipper that's not what I-

"You know what? I don't have time for this. Wendy needs me." Snapped Dipper as he turned away from Mabel and walked away briskly into the woods.

"Enjoy your party Mabel! Hope you find plenty of normal friends who will make sure your 'freak' of a brother dosen't bother you anymore!" Shouts back Dipper angrily.

Mabel tried to run after him...but he was already gone...not knowing what else to do...Mabel fell to her knees and wept...

…...

 **BOOM!**

Deep within the forest, a secret facility explodes. Several guards try to escape...but they quickly find themselves freezing to death and shattering as they hit the ground...a lone figure escapes the facility...and vanishes into the night...

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	32. Majora Falls

Tales of the falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...Responses...

nocturnoomega369: Okay...what is it?

MysterD47: Okay...but what happens after? What happens in between that and them getting home? Also, that's fine. I'll update the shower thing in two weeks.

...

 _Now how's about you being a normal kid. Flirt with a girl,_ _or steal a pie off a window sill...Said Grunkle Stan._

 _Bro, maybe Grunkle Stan is right. We're throwing a party tonight! Can't you go one night without searching for aliens or raising the dead or whatever?...said Mable..._

Dipper growled as these memories floated around his head. His family just didn't get it! He didn't want to be normal! He liked who he was! If they weren't interested, fine! But did they have to treat the things that mattered to him like it was a joke? Like what made him happy wasn't important?!

Suddenly, he saw the agents outside. _Yes! Maybe I can still save the night!_ Thought Dipper as he ran up to meet them...and then he heard them...

"So you really gave your card to a little kid you just met?" Asked agent Tripp incredulously. Agent Powers snorted. "Of course not! That cards a fake! I just gave it to him to shut him up...man was he annoying!"

Dipper felt his heart brake as his last chance to be taken seriously, vanishes forever. He runs crying back to the Shack...Not seeing the shadows leave the two agents... "Wait...weren't we just in the car?" Asked a disoriented Tripp...

…...

Dipper cries in his room. "Why can't anyone take me seriously!?" Screams out Dipper frustrated!

" **Oh, is that all you want?...I think that can be arranged."** Dipper cried out in terror and scuttled beneath the bed as a creature with no face, a business suite, and multiple long, slender arms appeared in his room.

"Who are you!?" Demanded Dipper. **"** **Why, I'm just your unfriendly neighborhood Slenderman!"** He then pulls out a bizarre and archaic mask. **"** **Who just so happens to have a demonic mask. Which once put on, will send you to a nightmare realm**. **Where if you defeat all the enemies...you'll be granted all your wishes."** He states simply.

Dipper looks at him in disbelief. "Why would I EVER willingly put on a 'demonic mask' to go to a 'nightmare realm'?" Asked Dipper incredulously.

Slenderman(somehow) smirked. "Let me answer your question with a question: What will you do now?"

Dipper looked at him weird. "What do you mean?" He asked cautiously.

" **Why, what will you do; now that your last hope for people to take you seriously has been dashed?"** He asked.

Dippers eyes widened...then he frowned... "I-I'll think of something!" He shouted out with uncertainty.

Slenderman simply kept smirking. **"** **Well...you better think of something soon. Summers halfway done, and your not any closer to figuring out the mysteries of this town."**

Dipper opens his mouth- " **And mysteries solved or not...after Summer you'll be dragged back to your dull, boring, friendless, normal life."**

Dipper's eyes widen as the crushing reality he'd been trying to ignore...hit him full force.

Slenderman nodded. " **Indeed...let's be honest boy...That dreadfully boring suburbia was never your home...no one outside your family liked or noticed you...your parents might as well have been invisible for all the impact they had on your life...and your sister? Oh, she tries to make you feel welcome...but let's be honest; she doesn't 'get' you...she won't do what makes you happy...she's too busy trying to make you happy 'her way'...making you 'normal' in other words."**

Slenderman shook his head as he snapped his finger. Causing a reveal of a picturesque Gravity Falls evening. " **THIS is your home...this is the only place you've ever felt like you've ever belonged...the only place you've found people who accept you for YOU...where being 'abnormal' is not only a skill; but can make you a hero!"**

Slenderman stealthily stole Dippers wish list from inside his journal while he chatted him up...and smirked at it's contents; 1: To live in Gravity Falls forever, 2: For people to finally treat me seriously, 3: For Wendy to love- NO, That's not fair to her...What I want...is a chance...a chance to prove to Wendy that I can be a good boyfriend to her despite the age difference...

Slenderman once more holds out Majora's mask. **"** **It's up to you my boy; either gamble with supernatural forces far beyond your understanding...or go downstairs and sing 'Love Patrol Alpha' with your sister like a 'normal' boy."**

Dipper didn't need to think about it...he quickly gathered up enough supplies, potions, equipment, and spells to kill a hippopotamus...he then takes a deep breath. _This is who I am._ He thinks to himself as he puts on the mask...and is whisked away on the adventure of a lifetime...

… **.50 levels, one movie, and 12 omakes later...**

 **...Or in Earth Time: 1 minute later...**

Dipper gasped for air as he was deposited by a vortex onto his bedroom floor. "YES! I DID IT! WOO-WHOO!" He shouts triumphantly.

Slenderman smirks. **"Yes you did do it...and as agreed your wishes will be granted." He pulls out Dippers wish list. "And thank you- By the way; for making these wishes vague enough for me to be a true 'Jerkass Genie!'"**

Dipper paled, then slapped his forehead. "IDIOT! You focused so much on the 'Videogame Tropes' you forgot about the 'Wishing Tropes!' STUPID! STUPID!" He chastised himself.

Slenderman snaps his fingers, causing Dipper to fall asleep. **"Right, let's gets this party started!"** He snaps his fingers-

 **(Music starts)**

 **I was all on my own, I didn't care if anyone was there**

 **The only time I didn't mind the company W** **as when I found my Funny bone!**

"What do you say guys, is this party legendary? When I say "Mabel" you say- And then the top of the Shack exploded...

 **so I left my home and I had a knack for the unknown**

 **I loved to investigate** **and make believe That someone noticed me...**

The Slenderman powered weirdness wave tore through the gravity Falls weirdness barrier like tissue paper...

 **And it was all in good fun, I had a great run, Until I ran into a certain Slenderman...**

The weirdness wave passed through Piedmont, destroying the Pines home and killing their family...

 **An ancient treasure called my name.**

 **And I was never the same...**

The weirdness wave continued until it enveloped the country...

 **Oh Majora, What have you done to me? I used to be so carefree Now I can't escape this misery...**

Then it enveloped the world!

 **Oh Majora, I never want to show my face again!**

 **But I guess in just 3 days-**

A small singular crack appeared over the once tranquil town...

 **-it won't matter anyway...**

Slenderman crooned as he ran his fingers through Dippers hair lovingly...before he began snipping off body parts...

 **Oh, you were just a lost little boy**

 **When I gave you a brand new toy**

 **I opened up a world for ME to enjoy...**

Slenderman helped speed up the masks integration with Dippers body...with fire...

 **When the world says that you're a disgrace.**

 **It feels so good to know they'll be replaced!**

Wendy nearly falls down. "Whoa, WHOA! I think it's an earthquake!" She blows an air-horn. "Hey, everybody, we got to get out of here!" She shouted before she was enveloped in a beam of light and vanished...

 **Everyone will change their tune...**

Slenderman pauses as he looks up

 **When they see the moon...**

All across the world people(who were not busy dying or running for their lives), looked up in disbelief...the moon had eyes! Green eyes! And long, beautiful red hair!

 **Shining down... And shedding her tears...**

 **For the Pines Kid She befriended for years...**

"SWEET MERCIFUL FRAK! I'M THE MOON!?" Screamed Wendy telepathically, causing everyone's ears to bleed...

 **And on his behalf She will unleash her wrath...**

 **So don't you act surprised when I Watch the flames and laugh!**

Sure enough Slenderman laughed as random pedestrians were set ablaze...

 **Oh Majora, What have you done for me?**

 **I used to be so weak inside But now this power I won't hide...**

Dipper slept on as his body was transformed and twisted by the masks dark magic...

 **Oh Majora, I never want to see this place again!**

 **But I guess in 3 days-**

A large cracking sound caused Bill to stir in his lair...

- **It won't matter anyway!**

Slenderman watched as the bubbles of madness warped psyches...

 **Now you may regret forgetting me, I've been waiting patiently**

 **And now I've got the chance To make you finally See the pain cannot be undone-**

 **You called him an abomination!**

 _Which will actually be true when I'm done with him..._ Thinks Slenderman to himself as he continues Dippers surgery...

 **Now there's no going back, And nowhere to run!**

" **Bring it on home!"** Shouts Slenderman as the sky rains blood...

 **Oh Majora, What's become of me?**

 **Pleasure is mine, finally**

 **But he still has this misery...**

"Mabel...Wendy..." Groans Dipper to himself...

 **Oh Majora, Should he have trusted all The things I had to say?**

 **But I guess in 3 days-**

-IT WON'T MATTER ANYWAY!"

Finishes Bill Cipher as he and his Hench-maniacs eagerly wait for the barrier between worlds to shatter...in three days time...

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: The song was a parody of 'Just 3 Days' by Mandopony**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	33. Supernatural falls

**Tales of the falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...Responses...

imperialwar1234: Review # 100?...you know...what the hey? two weeks from now, after I do the shower story, I'll do your thing!

...

The last several days had not been kind to the Pines family. A demon had killed their mom and burned their house to the ground. They'd driven all the way out to 'gravity falls'...and now their dad was arguing with their great uncle-

"Look, I get that your upset- "UPSET!? I drive all the way down here to find my uncle-in-law, my mentor, my friend, the man who introduced me to Mary in the first place, the man who was the best-man at my wedding. So that he can help me find and kill the demon that took my wife from me...instead I find a two bit con-man stealing his identity and that he's been dead for 10 years!"

HE'S NOT DEAD! Shouted Stan. "I will bring him back!" He asserted. John Pines simply rubbed his temples. "You say you need the other two of Ford's journals to make this portal work?" He asked.

Stan sighed. "Yes...I don't where they are except that their hidden in Gravity Falls."

John groans. "They might as well be on the moon then!" He asserts exasperated. Stan gives him a weird look. "Why? Also, while were on the subject...why aren't their more Hunters around here? You'd think they'd come here in droves." He asked confused.

John sighs. "Because 'Gravity Falls' is 'no-man's land' for Hunters. We only come here when we want to die. Ford is a legend among Hunters for not only being the only Hunter to survive coming here, but also being the only Hunter to successfully live here as well!"

Despite the situation, Stan couldn't help but be impressed by his brothers accomplishments.

John shook his head. "Look...forget that for the moment. To get past our homes defenses, we must be dealing with a high-level demon. So it's imperative I immediately pick up the demons trail and put a bullet in it's head." Says John as he pulls out yet another of his mentors accomplishments.

Ford not only found the lost Demon-killing gun of Samuel Colt...but figured out how to copy it! He ushered in a golden age for hunters! Demons were being killed left and right!..Which made it all the more important to get him back, he jealously guarded the secret of how to reproduce the gun to himself. They'd stockpiled enough to last many years...But eventually they'd run out.

John shook that worry from his head. _One thing at a time john. For now, just focus on avenging Mary._

He turns back to Stan. "In the meantime, I'll need you to look after the kids. With Fords defenses, this place is the safest place on earth."

Stan looks hesitant but nods. John nods back. He kneels down to kiss his 5-year old daughter Mabel. "Be safe sweetie." He turns to Dipper and affectionately ruffles his hair. "You watch over your sister, you hear? Do whatever it takes." Dipper brushes away a tear, but nods.

Mabel glares. "Why didn't you ask me to protect him? That's kinda sexist dad!" She points out irritated. John can't help but chuckle.

"Sorry sweetie, force of habit. Girls might not need our protection, but we guys feel like we have to give it regardless...we just love you all so much." He says as he leaves...

…...

 **BOOM!**

John swerved his car and stared back in horror...where Gravity Falls had been was now a giant crater! Thoughts of his children filled his head as he ran toward the crater in horror...as he gazed at where the small town had been, he heard a scratching sound behind him-

He turned around and saw a creature wearing a business suite and no face-

 **BANG!**

John watched in disbelief as the creature was unaffected by the colts bullet. It turned around and glared at him. "Do you mind? I'm busy mind-screwing with Crackpots."

It was then John saw what it was doing. It was repeatedly carving the word 'Croatoan' into the nearby trees. John glared at it. "What have you done to my family!?" He demanded.

The creature chuckled. "Relax, I just teleported it to another part of the planet...Oh, and made it invisible to everyone on the outside and inescapable from inside. They're safe...for now." Before John could say anything- "I'm not coming back to this story." Said the creature (somehow) smirking before vanishing. Leaving behind a very distraught and confused John...

 **...7 years later...**

 **CRACK!**

A large crack appears in the air on the edge of the shanghaied town of Gravity Falls. The crack then shatters completely, allowing John in.

 _After all these years...I'm back._ Thought John as he double-checked his guns and equipment to make sure it was all in working order.

His friend Bobby Singer renowned Demonologist; was next to come in. He takes a look around and shakes his head. "Unbelievable...we searched the Rain forest, Antarctica, the Sahara, the Himalaya's- Hell, we even re-discovered and searched Atlantis...And it was in Hoboken, New Jersey this whole time!?"

"Never mind that, the important thing is that were here now." Said Missouri Moseley. A true psychic who occasionally helped out Hunters.

Next came Daniel Elkins. Together he and Ford drove the entire vampire species to extinction.

William Anthony Harvelle came next...they'd been on bad terms since he nearly got him killed at Devil's Gate Resevoir. Thankfully, Ford's patented scuff-proof salt prevented what could've been a full on disaster...still things had been tense between them. William made it very clear he was only helping him 'from one father who loves his kids to another'. Which he was thankful for...he sorta wished he hadn't brought his wife along(she was even more frosty toward him)...still, it was nice to have an extra set of guns on hand regardless.

His friends Pastor Jim and Caleb were next...then came Gordon Walker. John really hadn't wanted to bring him along...True, he was highly skilled...But his methods and reputation were...Disturbing, to say the least. Unfortunately, competent Hunters that were crazy enough to go to Gravity Falls were in short supplies. And he needed all the help he could get...

...

"What do you mean it wasn't made by human hands?" John asked Missouri when they got to the Shack. Missouri frowns. "The defenses...they've been upgraded...but not by humans. Missouri's frown deepens. "It's not just that...there are things in the house...three beings of great power...One feels similar to the one that killed Mary...and it's the weakest of the three!"

Having heard enough, the hunters quickly run inside. They slowly spread out through the front room and-

A door nearby slams open. "Yo Mabel! Where's the soda, I- The teenage red-head demon paused and paled at the sight of multiple Hunters armed to the teeth.

"Oh, Cra-

 **BANG!**

 **GAH!**

Screamed the Demon as she took a Colt bullet to the head...which began to work it's way out as the wound healed. GAH! OW WHA- OW! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU!? Screamed the Demon.

"How are not dead?" Asked John horrified and surprised. The demon rolled her eye's. "If you must know; I'm part of a new generation of demons hybridized with humans to combat the sudden escalation of Demons killed by those dawm Colts! OW! MAN THAT HURTS!" Shouts the demon as the bullet falls out completely.

Gordon stepped forward. "Let's see how many you can take then!" He shouts as he raises his colt-

STOP! DON'T KILL HER! Suddenly the demon was being guarded by a little blonde girl, a teenage girl with purple hair and-

"Dipper?!" Exclaimed John in disbelief. Dipper panted as adrenaline surged through him. "Okay, great to see you dad...but I won't let you kill her!"

John couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Son, she's a demon!" "She's my wife!" Exclaimed Dipper right back.

There was a long, awkward pause. "Excuse me?" Asked a baffled John. Dipper sighed. "Wendy's my demon wife...Pacifica is my Fallen Angel wife." The blonde girl curtsies. "And Tambry is my Leviathin wife." Tambry briefly looks up from her phone and gives a lazy wave.

And even longer silence reigned...until- BAH! HA! HA! Laughed Elkins as he slaps John on the back. "He might be your son, but he definitely takes after Ford! This is just the sort of thing he'd get mixed into!" He exclaims playfully.

John just stared at him blankly...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	34. twin vs twin

Tales of the falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...Responses...

The man: Oh, I think you'll like it!

imperialwar1234: Uh...thank you!...I'm assuming...

MysterD47: In that case...I don't know if I can do anything with it...there's just not much I can work with here...sorry...

...

The day had been tiring for the Pines twins...after defeating gnomes with a leaf blower...Dipper just wanted read his new journal, Mable wanted to check on her followers she had on her web account...and just relax the rest of the day-

 **ZAP!**

Sadly, A certain eldritch abomination had other plans...

All over the world...people disappeared in a flash of light...and even more bizarre...every TV, phone, movie screen, radio, and computer began to broadcast(even if they were broken, unplugged, or without any power whatsoever!) LIVE footage of all the 'disappeared' people standing in a strange digital world...and overseeing them all was-

" **ME! THE ONE AND ONLY SLENDERMAN!"** Shouted Slenderman toward both the world and his 'captive audience'...but mainly the cowering Pine twins...

" **Long story: Your all trapped in my digital dungeon! Where you will be forced to compete in various deadly competitions for my amusement!"**

There were screams of 'yeah, right!', 'Like we'd believe that!', and 'Impossible...must be a dream!' from the thousands of people.

Slenderman sighed. **"Alright then...let's try something..."** Slenderman brings up several digital screens hovering in mid-air..."YOU!" He shouts pointing at a random guy.

" **Did you seriously text just now that my 'costume' looked lame?"** Asked Slenderman incredulous.

The guy shrugged. "Yeah, so? It's a free country."

Slenderman just shook his head in disbelief as he brought up a bunch of screens to float around the guy...all of them filled with very surprised looking people.

" **Do these people look familiar?"** Asked Slenderman. The guy frowned...then smiled..."Oh, yeah! I think a few of them are my followers!"

" **Correction...they're ALL your followers...now say bye-bye to them."**

"Wait, what?" Asked the guy confused-

 **SPLAT!**

Right before he...and all his followers died a horrific, bloody death.

Everyone; both in the digital world and in the world screamed and panicked at the sight.

Slenderman laughed. **"You get it now? You die here...and all your followers die with you! AND thanks to my cameras...the whole world now knows it too!"**

"Nuts to this! I'm outta here!" Screamed several people as they tried to run-

 **SPLAT!**

Before they and their followers all died horribly...

Slenderman sighed... **"Now, now. None of that. If you want to live, you have to play by MY rules..."**

He then gestures to the both the people of the world and his 'captives'.

" **Okay...now that the opening ceremony is over...let's get started! How about an easy game to start us off...OH! Yes, let's play-**

 **TRUE FOLLOWER DIAGNOSIS!**

" **The rules are very simple...from this moment on...all followers may 'un-follow' you without consequence! But be forewarned...once a persons follower counter** **reaches zero...that person will die!"**

Dipper turns deathly pale...he looks at the online account he never uses...it's at zero!

" **Oh, before I forget. You all have phones provided by yours truly! And you can use it to call, beg, or bargain, or whatever with anyone in the 'real world'!"**

Nearby Dipper hears a guy scoffing. "Heh, whatever. I got 5000 followers, this is in the- Wha- NO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" Screamed the guy as his counter went down rapidly. Dipper heard him calling, begging and pleading...but-

 **SPLAT!**

Dipper vomited as that man and many other people died as they're counters hit zero...as his sister sobbed and clung to him...he wondered... _Why have I been spared?_

All over...the tragedy is repeated...

" _I'm sorry...I don't want to risk dying...for you"_

 **SPLAT!**

 _He has a big family...there'll be someone left to follow him even if I un-follow him...right?_

 **SPLAT!**

" _PLEASE! YOUR MY LAST FOLLOWER!" "...so?"_

 **SPLAT!**

….of course...not all 'real world' activity was 'negative'...

"GAH! Come on! What is with this traffic!?" Shouts Ma pines as she and Pa Pines try to hurry down to the local 'I.T.' store to get an account to 'follow' their kids...

…...

"GIVE ME ALL THE FOLLOWERS YOU HAVE! MY NIECE AND NEPHEW NEED THEM MORE THEN YOU!" Screamed Grunkle Stan as he holds a nerd at gunpoint.

"THAT'S NOT HOW 'FOLLOWING' WORKS!" Pleads the nerd...

…...

Tyler, if you don't get me online soon. Friend or no friend, I WILL GUT YOU!" Screamed Manly Dan.

"IT'S BOOTING AS FAST AS IT CAN!" Screamed an ever apologetic Tyler...

…...

While Mable sobbed and cuddled up to Dipper...trying to pretend she wasn't drenched in blood...

Dipper stared at his counter...wondering...why?

"Come on! You can't un-follow me! Were friends! I let you ride in my Limo a dozen times for crying out loud!"

Dipper turns around...and sees a familiar face. _What's her name...Pacific...Pacifica! Pacifica Northwest!_ He remembered her briefly cruising near the shack...making fun of old man Mcgucket...apparently she's rich.

PLEASE! PLEASE! WE SPENT ALL THAT TIME TOGETHER...DID THAT NOT MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU!?

To Dippers surprise...he was hearing the other side of the conversation! "Tell you what...I won't unfollow you...if you tell me my name..."

Pacifica paled...and said nothing "Yeah, I thought so." And like that...she hung up...and un-followed her.

"I...I have no friends..." Realized a horrified Pacifica out loud...all her wealth, power, influence, and net worth...rendered useless by the actions of a sociopath...

Then her eyes went wide. "MOM! DAD! They'll stand by me!" She shouts frantically, as she calls them...

"Daddy! It's so good to hear you! Of course I can count on you and Mom!"

"Actually, we were the first to unfollow you." Stated Preston flatly.

Pacifica collapsed to her knees. "WHAT!? NO! I'M YOUR DAUGHTER! I'M YOUR HEIR! YOU LOVE ME! YOU CAN'T DO THIS!"

Preston shrugged. "Nothing personal dear...it's just it was either you or us...and we love us more...besides your mother and me are young..it's annoying...but we can always have a new child...

Pacifica wasn't listening anymore... _I...I have no one...I never HAD anyone...no one cares I'm about to die...no one ever...loved me..._

 **Beep**

And just when all the night seemed darkest for the blonde...came the dawn...

 **ALERT!**

 **Dipper Pines has followed you!**

 **Big Dipper: Hey...you don't really know me...look, I won't lie...my counter is at zero...I should be dead right now...so...I've only given you a few extra minutes of life at best...so...enjoy...I guess...**

Pacifica read it...but Pacifca didn't care...This was the best thing anyone had ever done for her! She looked around...saw a boy with a pine tree hat...who waves at her awkwardly...Pacifica was elated...

 _Someone...loves...me..._

Overcome by this revelation...and exhaustion...she swoons...and collapses

…...

 _Oh, no! What's wrong with her!?_ Thinks Dipper as he sees her faint! He'd only been able to follow her(and not anyone else who was 'dying') because he knew her name!...had he been too late? He was about to go over and check on her-

 **"Well! Looks like things have quieted down...all the 'false' followers seem to have revealed themselves...which means the amount of followers you have left now...is the number of people who truly care about you more than they fear death!...isn't that wonderful?"**

No one answered...they were too busy crying and vomiting...amongst the thousands of rotting corpses...

Dipper still looked at his counter confused. _I know I should be happy about this...so why do I have this feeling of dread?_

" **That's a good instinct Dipper! Trust it, you'll live longer!"** Shouts Slenderman from his podium suddenly, causing Dippers blood to go cold.

Slenderman once more addresses everyone. **Now I know what you all think of me...I'm a murdering psychopath...and your right! Buuuut, I'm also a bit bi-polar...and during these bouts of psychosis...I tend to help right great wrongs..."**

Instead of elaborating, he materializes in front of the Pines twins. Who both jump backward in fright. Slenderman brings a screen of Mable's account. **"My, my...aren't we popular? Not only have you not lost 'any' followers...but you've actually gained more!"**

There were shouts of 'no way!', 'How's that possible?', and 'oh, come on!' from all the other 'contestants'.

Mable gulped...but nodded. **"Hmmmm...I wonder if they'd still be loyal if they knew..."** He says out loud. Before either twin could ask what he means, he turns to dipper.

" **My boy! Can I just say congratulations! I was just rummaging through your computers history...and found this!"** He displays numerous screens; all filled with E-mails consisting of notifications of winning patent contests, winning contests involving beating impossible chess moves(like the Zugzwang Shuffle), or solving half of the infamous 'Millennium Prize Problems', and even invitations of early admissions into the worlds best colleges/institutes!

Mable went pale...Dipper...Dipper was just confused! "What is all this!? I've never seen any of this! None of those contests I entered ever called me back!" Shouted Dipper in disbelief!

" **Really? How odd...according to the dates; they were sent to your computer...and that 'YOU' turned them all down/or deleted them."**

"WHAT!? I DID NO SUCH THING!" Shouts an irate Dipper.

"Maybe...maybe it was a bad internet connection?" Offered a now trembling Mable. Dipper was too angry and confused to notice her sisters unease...but Slenderman wasn't..and made him(somehow) smirk.

" **Don't worry...we'll get to the bottom of this...using special 'science'; I can hack your webcam and have it show all!"**

Slenderman brought up a screen in front of Dipper; showing his room during the time of the first notification- "WAIT!" Shouts a panicked Mable as she tries to jump in front of the screen...but Slenderman simply caused more screens to appear...all of them showing the same thing-

Dippers heart shattered...he turned to the one person he thought he could trust more than anyone... "Mable..it was you?"

"Dipper I never meant to hurt you! I knew how miserable you were with your current life! I knew you'd leave the first chance you got! I couldn't lose you! I can't make it on my own! I love you!" Pleaded a sobbing Mable.

Slenderman scoffed. **"Typical Co-dependent/Enabler relationship...in all it's dark twisted glory."** He then smirks as he looks at Mable's account. **"In any case...looks like your followers don't much care for a treacherous Sister."**

"WHAT!?" Exclaimed Mable as she looked at her phone...her follower count was dropping rapidly!

"NO! NO! NO! PLEASE! DON'T DO THIS!" Her screams...were in vain...the counter dropped until only one was left.

 **You have one Follower left: Dipper Pines**

" **Well..isn't his ironic...I guess you were too busy with your legion of followers to follow your own brother...but he wasn't too busy to follow you...one of the 'perks' of being friendless I suppose...**

All eyes (in both worlds) found themselves pointed at the silent twelve year-old boy...

Slenderman sauntered up to him. **"My boy...You've been through so much haven't you?...tell you what...I'll make you a deal...I'll overlook the fact that your supposed to be dead right now...and even send you home...and all you have to do...is cut the 'dead weight' from your life...aren't I generous?"**

Asked Slenderman as he brought up a touch screen in front of Dipper...with the following selection:

 **UN-Follow Mable Pines?**

 **Y/N?**

After a moments hesitation...Dipper reached for it to make his choice...

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Some elements of this story were taken from the manga 'Real Account' I don't own it**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	35. Not so little problem 2

Tales of the falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...Responses...

MysterD47: Read it, liked it. Have an idea, won't make them equal, but Raven won't make fun of him. So it balances out.

...

Dipper groaned as he woke up, he felt himself over to make sure he was in one piece, he then found a UV light and a note next to it explaining that the journal had invisible ink. Dipper eagerly looked through the newly revealed secrets of the journal...it was then that it started to rain...

 _Huh...it's getting late...I should head back before my family..._ This thought trails off as Dipper comes to an amazed realization...He didn't care what his family thought! He felt no love for them! No happiness! No joy! Only apathy and anger for all their ridicule!...And Dipper couldn't be happier!

"I'M FREE! MY DESTINY IS MY OWN AGAIN! I FOUGHT FATE AND I WON! MY FUTURE IS WHATEVER I MAKE OF IT! AND I'M GOING TO MAKE IT BRIGHT!" Shouts Dipper.

Despite the rain clouds; he never felt lighter! Even when it rains...he finds himself whistling a little song...

 **In the eye of the storm, I'm now in control. And in the middle of this war, I'll now guard my own soul**

 **I alone am the anchor, when my sails are torn**

Dipper skips across the rocks in the stream...

 **I can now find someone who's love will surround me; in the eye of the storm**

In a fit of Whimsy Dipper picks a bunch of roses that remind him of a certain red head...

 **When the solid ground is falling out from underneath my feet. Between the black skies, and my red eyes, I can barely see** **...**

Dipper high fives a gnome so hard it crashes into a bush...

 **And when I realize I've been sold out by my friends and my family...**

Dipper is elated as he rips out the pictures of his so-called family from his journal and feeds them to a badger...

 **I can feel the rain reminding me...**

Dipper swings around a lamppost happily as he jumps into yet another puddle...

 **In the eye of the storm, I'm now in control. In the middle of the war, I'll now guard my soul.**

 **I alone am now the anchor, when my sails are torn**

Dipper tosses some small rock into the air, enlarges them into boulders mid-air with his flashlight, and happily lets the ensuing tidal wave from the pond wash over him...

 **I can now find someone who's love will surround me; in the eye of the storm...**

Dipper watches from afar as a newly married couple braves the storm to get to the limo...

For a moment he remembers himself in the 'future', alone, unloved, and miserable...

 _Nuts to that! That future is dead!_ Thinks an elated Dipper as he indulges himself by fantasizing about a wedding day between him and a certain lumberjack...

 **Mmm, my hopes and dreams were far from me, and I was runnin' out of faith...**

Dipper finds a spell in the journal to conjure up the image of the broken, sobbing wreck he became in the future...

 **But now I see the future I pictured slowly fade away...**

Dipper cackled maliciously as he set the image ablaze...then manipulated the embers to remake himself as Rambo? Casanova? Mad genius? HE COULD BE WHATEVER HE WANTED! THE FUTURE WAS HIS AGAIN!

 **And now the tears of pain and heartache are no longer falling down my face...**

 **I now find my peace in the creators plan...**

Dipper plays leapfrog with an ecstatic multi-bear!

 **In the eye of the storm (yeah, yeah), I remain in control (you know I do, my Lord)**

 **In the middle of this war, I'll now guard my soul. I now will be the anchor, when my sails are torn**

Dipper quickly sneaked into his room and packed up his things, and left...he never looked back...

 **I can now find someone who's love will surround me (Your love surrounds me).**

 **In the eye of the storm (in the eye of the storm)**

Dipper bought the chocolates; wrapped up the flowers...and put them all on Wendy's doorstep...

 **When the storm was raging (when the storm is raging)**

Dipper activates the doorway to the Authors Hidden bunker; and goes in to unpack and explore...

 **my hope was gone (my hope was gone my Lord)**

Mabel Pines stared at her brothers now empty side of the room uncomprehendingly...

 **When my flesh was failing; I held on...**

Wendy looks at the gifts and note both flustered...and curious...

 **In the eye of the storm...**

Deep within the Bunker...something stirred...

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: The song is a parody of "** **Eye of the Storm" by Ryan Stevenson**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	36. TyroneXPacifca shower 3

Tales of the falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...Responses...

MysterD47: great! Also, enjoy!

...

"Hey, can I- hic -drink this?" Asked a sloshed Soos holding up a bottle of 'clone rejuvenation' formulae.

Mable shrugged. "Hic- go ahead! Hic -we've never used it- hic -anyway!" Mable then frowned at this. "Or... -hic- wait...have we used it? -hic- I forget!" She giggled...then vomited.

Meanwhile; Tyrone and Pacifica were waiting awkwardly in the cramped shower for Soos and Mable to leave or fall asleep...

Or rather...Tyrone was doing that...Pacifica was more focused on playing ' cop a feel of 'little Dipper' every time Tyrone is distracted'.

Tyrone was very flusterd, he was completely oblivious to what Pacifica was doing...all he knew was that his 'area' was feeling more and more squished. That and his attention was completely focused on the figures in the room...FINALLY they left.

"Okay, we should be in the clear now." Said Tyrone as he quickly jumps out of the shower.

Pacifica sighed as she followed. _Dang...I was really enjoying myself too! Wish this could last longer..._

 **BOOM!**

"Waddles! Come back!"

Waddles knocked the door forward, Mable ran after...into an empty room."Hic- Come on -hic- silly piggy." Teased Mable as she picked him up and left...

"Okay...I wish I'd thought this through." Admitted Tyrone as he and Pacifica dangled helplessly and naked from the bathroom balcony and a five story drop...

 _Okay...starting to regret my wish now..._ Admitted a frightened Pacifica to herself...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	37. Revise of the Emperor: imperialwar1234

Tales of the falls 

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING! 

…...Responses... 

Guest: Eh, you might want to talk with the Howling Behemoth. He's more into that sort of thing. 

... 

The Emperor of all mankind...was in pain. He could not move a muscle. His body was twisted and mutilated beyond repair. His soul was torn and screaming between thousands of light years powering a vast galactic empire...a galaxies worth of suffering was constantly thrust upon him!

Across the galaxy, so many were sacrificed and murdered in his name! Hordes of despoilers rampaged! The Tyranids devoured entire sectors! Green-skinned monsters tore down everything that got in their path! Metal killers billions of years old were rising up to harvest all life!

It was too much! TOO MUCH! TOO MUCH! TOO MUCH! TOO MUCH! TOO MUCH! TOO-

Dipper Pines gasped as he woke up, he looked at the blood that seeped from his nose. The dreams are getting worse... Thinks Dipper Pines as he rests by his sleeping sister as the bus takes them into Gravity Falls... 

...Meanwhile... 

Both several dozen males and females lay naked, sweaty and exhausted on the forest ground...while one Wendy Corduroy just stood above them completely refreshed, naked...and constantly switching genders...her/his eyes filled with purple, pink, and black...

And then she woke up. She turned scarlet at the realization of her nudity and that of others, no memory of how she got there, and quickly ran home totally freaked out... 

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED? 

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	38. Bad Begining 4: inspired by GojiraCipher

**Tales of the falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...Responses...

imperialwar1234: 1. As long as you also PM me the contents of the chapters so I can translate it easier, I don't see a problem. But just to clarify: You understand the 'primary' goals of the challenge? 2. Sorry, I was going for a 'edgy cliffhanger' vibe. That's why it was so short. 3. I only know the basics of it currently, sorry. But it dose look interesting.

HyperA1985: sorry, but no.

 **AN: this story was inspired by GojiraCipher. Give HIS stories a read! Their good!**

...

Wendy was depressed, she knew the first day back from school would be a bummer...but this was nuts!

The buses had been replaced by prison buses, they were being forced to to sit in 'posture-correcting chairs' that made her lose feeling in half her body, there was talk of bringing back 'corporal punishment', a 'clerical error' has doubled the amount of hours their required to stay in school all year, downsizing has forced them to eat only 'Brand-X imitation gruel', and the shower stalls had been replaced by one big communal shower!

True, she was looking forward to making fun of Robbie's wiener all year...not so much all the guys getting to see her naked.

Wendy stripped and wrapped herself up in a towel, she then takes off her new pine tree hat and looks at it fondly. _It makes sense that the day after you left...everything goes to hel-_

"Missing your boy-toy?" Asked a voice right next to her ear, a surprised Wendy nearly slammed her fingers in the locker door-

She turns around to see a smirking Tambry also wrapped in a towel. "Tambry! Don't do that!" She shouted annoyed.

Tambry just laughs. "Come on, it's cute that your 'pinning' for your little dork."

Wendy blushed. "I-it's not like that!" Tambry rolled her eyes. "Come on Wendy. I heard that last minute 'talk' you had with Dipper at the bus stop...not to mention you gave him your 'hat', the same hat you've been willing to break arms for!"

Wendy blushed harder. "I- Look, he'd been through an apocalypse! He'd earned it!"

Tambry just laughed. "I gotta know...if you'd known about the 'world nearly ending at the end of summer' ealier..would you have given Dipper a 'special gift'?" She asks mischievously.

It didn't seem possible but Wendy managed to fluster a redder shade then her hair! "Yeah, I'm not having this conversation anymore." She said flatly, she turns around-

 **YOINK!**

Shouts Tambry as she yanks away her towel. "Hey!" Snaps a mortified Wendy. "Yikes, girl you need to do some serious landscaping on that red 'bush' you got going on down there." Teased Tambry playfully.

Wendy glared and lunged at her-

click

Went Tambry's camera phone. Wendy paled as she covered herself. "Wow, you really have 'blossomed' haven't you Wendy? Bet Dipper would love thi-

 **GAH!**

Screamed a panicked Wendy as she tackled her to the ground. "OW! Sheesh Wendy I was just kidding! Come on, like I'd really- She trailed off and paled as she saw her phone. "Uh, oh."

"What? What 'uh, oh'!?" Snapped an angry Wendy. "Okay, first off- This is technically your fault, you bumped into me, causing me to hit 'send'-

"WHO DID YOU SEND IT TO!"

"Not everyone! Just...one...Dipper."

5 seconds later, Tambry found herself in the hallway naked. She frantically banged on the now locked shower room door. "Come on, Wendy! Let me back in!" She pleaded.

Wendy just dusted off her hands and tried to send a message explaining what happened to Dipper, but cursed when she saw that Tambry's phone was now broken from hitting the floor, and Wendy's phone got confiscated earlier...

Wendy was truly and utterly ticked off. _That's it! Hang the consequences! Any guy that so much as looks at me, I'm smashing their teeth in!_ Thought Wendy as she entered the shower, ready to kick but and laugh at Robbie's junk-

And then she realizes that she wouldn't be laughing at his junk...no one would ever again...because several zombies had just eaten it...as well as most of his limbs and organs.

A deathly pale and naked Wendy took one look at this...and calmly backed out of the room, used her towel to lock the door, then ran for her locker to get her clothes-

Only to now find it empty! Except for a note-

 **Good luck! You'll need it!**

 **Sincerely, S. Man**

A peculiar chainsaw, and-

DIPPER!?

Sure enough, Dipper's decapitated head was in the locker...and blushing like crazy at the sight of a naked Wendy. _Huh, Maybe today won't be so bad after all._ Thought Dipper's head...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	39. For want of the wrong continent

For want of the wrong continent

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...Responses...…...

NyaNyaKittyFace: Look up imperialwar1234, idea for more clarity. It should be in the review section, also I agree that it's a messed up combo...yet, odly. That's what makes it so interesting...

RasenganFin: Dipper isn't dead...look up 'Lolipop chainsaw'. It'll all (sorta) make sense then.

...

 **Slenderman** looked through his files for ideas... **"Let's see...Steven Universe? No...Wander over Yonder? Nah... Invader Zim?...Eh. Maybe...Ah! Here we go! Wild Wild West! I haven't mixed THAT up with Gravity Falls yet!"**

Then Slenderman grew contemplative. " **Hmmm...this is gonna take some 'creativity'..."**

…1492, Atlantic Ocean...

"So in conclusion! Give up this 'route to china' nonsense! Head that way instead! A greater prize awaits! You'll know your going the right way...as fish will jump into your ship and manna will rain from the sky!"

The Nina, Pinta, and Santa Maria cheered as the Angle showed them their new course...

When they were gone...Slenderman tore off his disguise... **"Suckers..."** Said Slenderman with a smile as he went to give all the indigenous tribes of the Americas immunity to European diseases...

…a few months later, on the eastern shores of North America...

 _Okay...according to the map the angle gave us...we need to find a cave that looks like an eagle...go in...and keep going straight until we find a stone containing the sword that shall belong to the man who shall rule this land...We will then be in the land 'where gravity falls'...whatever that means..._

Thought Christopher Columbus as he and his men walked to the cave that Slenderman had enchanted to teleport all who enter to the place where Gravity Falls(in most universes) would one day stand.

…...

 _It is written that Columbus and his crew found all that the Angle had promised._ _They found the sword...all tried to lift it...all failed._

 _But they did not despair...for they also found a land filled with milk and honey(they were in actual trees just waiting to be plucked!)!_

 _They also found great gobs of gold, silver, jewels, and platinum(which seemed useless, yet the Angle had insisted that one day it would be valuable...so they treated it as such)._

 _But they also found...madness...magic...and monsters..._

…...

Columbus screamed as he was attacked by a floating eyeball and flown away-

 **ZAP!**

Only for it to be hit by lightning! Columbus was surprised both by being saved...and by how...one of his closest advisers...Archibald Pines...had just struck the creature down with lightning!

…...

 _As it turns out; Archibald was part of a family of secret mystics...the crew was torn...on the one hand; Archibald was well liked(if a bit odd). More importantly, he'd just saved all their lives. On the other hand...he dabbled in magic..and by the law of both their king and religion...they were honor bound to burn him..._

 _Fortunately, the matter was resolved quickly..._

…...

"A heavenly pardon?" Asked Christopher Columbus as he examined the breathtakingly beautiful and seemingly indestructible piece of parchment. The 'Angle' nodded. "Yes, Archibald and his family are crucial to you and your country taming this land in the name of the lord! Henceforth; Archibald, his family, his friends/allies, and students are hereby free to study magic without consequence!"

And with that...the angle vanished once more...

All was quite...the Columbus just shrugged. "Good enough for me!..."

…...

Slenderman worked to warp time to speed up the life of one Hernán Cortés...

...

 _By the time of our lord; 1495...the combined efforts of Columbus and Archibald had cemented a permanent Spanish establishment in Gravity Falls...sadly, they were still molested by both monster and hostile indigenous tribe...especially by the warlike 'Blind-eye Tribe'. Who worshiped 'Cipher the one true Bill'._

 _By this time; Archibald had his family and all their fellow practitioners and researchers move to Gravity Falls where Columbus promised them safe haven._

 _Meanwhile, more and more expeditions or entradas came through to fortify colonies on both sides of the cave...or 'the gateway of the divine' as it was now being called._

 _More importantly, many were coming to pull the sword from the stone. To claim god-given kingship of the land...the great catholic church tried...and failed... Our great King Ferdinand II and the rest of the royal family tried...but also failed...many more tried...None succeeded...and then came Hernán Cortés..._

...

Cortes could hardly believe it! The sword was coming free in his hands! Everyone around him gasped in amazement as he pulled it from the stone!

Cortes suddenly burst into glorious golden flames! Cortes heard people screaming...but he was fine! In fact...he feel better than he ever had! He felt great power flowing through him!

When it was over...a strange inscription written in Latin had appeared on the stone...

 **From this day forth: Hernán Cortés is dead, he has been reborn from the holy fire as Cortes Northwest! The one true king of this land! The symbol on your sword shall be the new symbol of your family.**

 **And when the one who bears the mark of the Great Bear, joins with the great Freeze and the liama...your successor he will be...**

Cortes considers these words with confusion...especially since the symbol on the sword was that of a liama...

...

 _And so the newly dubbed king of_ _the Americas set forth to conquer the lands he'd been promised. The soon to be legendary sword of Cortes; proved to be indestructible, could slice through even diamonds, a single prick would kill his enemies(and only his enemies) within the hour._

 _But that wasn't the swords only gift...it also gave Cortes inhuman strength, invincible from most harm and able to summon lightning and fire down on enemy armies._

 _With this power; Cortes conquered and subjugated many of the tribes of this land. However..it was quickly learned that the sword only protected him from non-magical harm...the magic of the natives could still kill him._

 _Under the advice of Archibald Pines, the Spanish began to capture or bargain with the native wizards...this allowed them to counter the natives magic..._

 _Archibald also advised that they set up Cortes as a god(before later converting them to their faith of course); to win the hearts and minds of the natives...he also pointed out that the Spaniards were the vast, vast, vast minority in this land. And that assimilation rather than outright subjugation and oppression may ensure long-term peace in this land._

 _Cortes sees the knowledge in Archibalds words, and makes him his top advisor. He goes on to convert or bargain with dozens of tribes. Convincing them to join the Spanish empire peacefully with full rights of a Spanish citizen._

 _Among the consequences of this decision; was the sharing of natives metallurgy secrets; strange steel that was twisted in ways that baffled Spanish scholars..it would later be called Damascus Steel...which would later be called_ _ **'The founding of the field of nanotechnology'...**_

 _With the defeat of the Blind Eyes, Inca, and Aztec...the Spanish asserted their control over both continents. Following the instructions of the Angle, they dug in the places he'd shown and found what he called 'oil'...it was a ghastly substance...but the angle had insisted on it's value..so they treated it as such..._

 _Between the tolerance and study of magic, discovery of platinum, oil, and the strange unearthly vessel found beneath Gravity Falls...a golden age of invention and industry abounded..._

 _It was also around this time unfortunately, that the slavery of the various monster species within Gravity Falls began..._

 _It is eventually discovered that the sword also granted Cortes eternal youth and immortality...sadly the same could not be said for Archibald...who eventually passed on._

 _But despite this, the Northwest and Pines family remained good allies..._

...

Slenderman warped time to speed up the lives surrounding the ill-fated Tudor monarch Dynasty...as well as the Anglo-Spanish war...

...1545 Great Britan...

Cortes watched silently as Queen Elizabeth was executed in front of the ruins of London.

 _England is ours...no thanks to that useless Philip!_

Cortez had become greatly disillusioned by the current king of Spain. He launched this attack on England ahead of schedule against all advice to be patient and to give the armada more time to prepare.

An even greater insult was when his good friend; Marquis de santa cruz(the appointed naval leader of the armada) got deathly sick...not only did Philip not postpone the attack, but he had the nerve to try to replace his friend with an ARMY commander! The man had never even TRAVELED overseas, never mind having the experience to command an armada!

Thankfully, the Pines family was able to whip up a special potion to heal Marquis...and just in time! The England attempted to launch a preemptive strike while the Armada was still docked!

Cortes couldn't help admire the ingenuity and audacity of the English...setting fir to your own ships to use as makeshift weapons...he'd have never thought of that himself!

Fortunately; between Marquis's leadership skills and Cortes's power(and reinforcements in the form of the new 'Steam-Boats')...they'd turned the tide and crushed the entire English Armada with minimal casualties...

Cortes found his mind drifting toward the words of his family. For awhile his 'Northwest' children, Grandchildren, and great grand children had been trying to take advantage of the large cult-like following he'd unintentionally created in the Americas...to declare independence.

Out of respect and loyalty to Ferdinand the 2nd and later Charles the 5th (but partially because a lot of them were becoming spoiled brats that made him ashamed of his own blood), he'd ignored them...but with that idiot Philip in charge...he was starting to wonder...

Cortes shook his head of such thoughts. _Now is not the time for such thoughts...in any case...considering I was the one who snatched victory from the Jaws of defeat...Philip had better give me my fair share of this conquest..._

…Elsewhere...

In the dark of the night...King Philip tossed and turned in his sleep...for many nights he'd been plagued by nightmares of his crown and kingdom being taken from him...and news of Cortes's conquest of England had only made them worse...

From nearby...an Invisible Slenderman watched...and (somehow)smiled...

…...

 _Shortly after England's surrender, it was added to the Spanish Empire. Cortes felt that because of his accomplishment, he should be awarded half of England._

 _Philip refused! He accused Cortes of plotting against him. Enraged by this slander against his character and years of loyalty to the crown..the 'talk' devolved into outright hostilities._

 _And thus began the Spanish Civil war..._

… _Gravity Falls, 1555..._

Cortes sighed as he stared from the dining car of the inter-continental train as it rode across the mountains. _Such a beautiful landscape...almost makes me forget the current situation..._

He turns to his grandson Nathaniel. "Let me see if I have this straight...you commissioned the Jotunn(a powerful tribe of natives that specialize in frost magic)...one of our strongest allies...to build you a 'winter home'...and upon completion, you not only stiffed them of their payment...but had them ambushed and almost wiped out!?" He shouted enraged.

Nathaniel paled. "H-hold on! They were just savages! I'm your grandson! Surely-

Nathaniel didn't have time to finish...Cortes had tossed him out of the window of the moving train...but not before casting a spell to make sure he wouldn't be killed...he would be grievously injured however.

Cortes groans. How had things gotten so bad in his own family? He turned to the current head of The Pines family; Stanford Pines.

"I thank you for bringing this to my attention." Said Cortes. Ford nodded. "What are you going to do now?" He asked.

"It would seem that my family tree is in dire need of some 'pruning'...I'm going to ask around...see if any other members of the family has done something like this...as for the rest...they've been ridding off my coattails too long! I'm cutting them off! They want my riches...they'll have to earn them!"

Ford nodded. "What about the war? Also, what about the Jotunn?" Cortes groaned. Without him rallying the troops things would probably grind to a standstill.

He shakes his head. "This takes priority...the troops will just have to make do. As for the Jotunn...Send Nathaniel to them to be punished however they want...they'll also need someone to help them get back on their feet...Which will be a problem since they'll probably not like my family to go anywhere near them right now..."

Ford puts a comforting hand on Cortes's shoulder. "Leave it to me...Our family will take care of them..."

…...

 _Okay...this, might be harder than I thought._ Realized Ford as he looked over the Jotun that had just been dropped off in the new-fangled 'horseless carriages.'

One thing that would be a problem was their clothing traditions...they were so used to the icy Tundra, that the heat of this area drove them to strip down almost everything(and some didn't stop there).

One such Jotuun was a five year old Wendy Corduroy. She wore nothing save for a loincloth...and she'd snuck away from the group to explore this strange white mans house.

She climbs in through an open window...and finds herself in a little boys room. The sleeping boy seems to be three years younger than her. She goes over and lifts him out of bed to take a closer look.

She'd seen plenty of babies...given the recent...'disaster'...they'd been forced to enchant some of the younger girls to be able to 'nurse' due to so many children suddenly being without mothers.

Feeling curious...and mischievous...she lets this 'white' baby suckle off her...

And that's how Dipper Pines met Wendy...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED? 

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	40. Slender, can you spare a Dip?

**Tales of the falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...Responses...

imperialwar1234: Great! Good hunting!

RasenganFin: No, 'All that' was to make the first Wild Wild West X Gravity Falls crossover...Dipper meeting Wendy was just a side-bonus. Also, I think your review got cut off: "A little weird but-" Was all I got.

...

An 8-year old Wendy whistled a merry tune as she walked through the dark woods. Some jerk had thought it was funny to pull her pigtails...so of course she'd smashed his teeth and stole his lunch money...which she used to buy ice cream...so it was a good day after all!

 **CHILDREN FOR SALE! GET YOUR CHILDREN FOR SALE! INDULGE IN WIFE HUSBANDRY TODAY!**

Wendy's eyes widened as she looked to the side of the road where the voice was coming from...where she saw an ordinary-looking man ringing a bell...and had two kids chained to his wrist!?

 _Wait, what!? Is the circus doing some kind of show?_ Thought Wendy confused. But when she got closer...her blood went cold...

This was no act...both kids had been beaten up and were clearly terrified. One was a blonde 5 year-old girl(who seemed familiar, but for the life of her. Wendy couldn't put her finger on why). The other was a 5 year old boy with a weird birthmark on his head.

"AH! My dear, how are you? Are you in the market for a nice husband?" Asked the man suddenly.

Wendy looked at him in horror. "E-Excuse me?!" She asked in disbelief. The man nodded to the boy. "I know he may not look it...but wait 6-7 years and you'll see! He's grade A husband material!" He said with a sly wink.

Wendy turned green in revulsion...her mouth opened...but she couldn't bring herself to speak.

"BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!" Insisted the man! "Buy now and you'll get his 'mistress' free!" He said while pointing at the cowering blonde girl.

"M-Mistress!?" Exclaimed Wendy incredulously. The man nodded, not missing a beat. "Yes, give the man of your dreams a tasty morsel to keep him warm on the nights you can't be bothered!"

Wendy couldn't hold it in anymore..she was vomiting. She glared at the man. "Your disgusting!"

The man shrugged. "Whatever, girl. Do you want to buy them or not?" Wendy mulled over her options. The guy was three times her size and he'd probably disappear if she went to look for help...

Wendy sighed as she brought up her wallet. "How much?" She asked defeated. The man simply waved a hand dismissively. "Money doesn't interest me...let's just say that you'll owe me a favor...how's that?" He asked as he held out his hand in a 'let's shake on it' gesture.

Wendy gave him a weird look...but shrugged and obliged. Wanting to get this over with, she shook his hand-

 **ZAP!**

Wendy saw spots! A bright light had blinded her! When she shook it off, she realized that the kids were now chained to a manacle connected to her wrist! And it was locked tight! She looked up to yell at the man...but he'd disappeared...

…...

Slenderman laughed as he tore off his human disguise as he teleported to the deepest, darkest part of the Gravity Falls forest. **"** **Well, that should keep things interesting...buuut I could always do better!"**

He snapped his fingers-

 **CRASH!**

Thus ripping an entire ancient Egyptian city from it's universe...and depositing it in the middle of the forest...

Slenderman laughed. **"** **Yes!** **Hamunaptra** **! Great city of the Dead! And within rests the fallen priest Imhotep! Just waiting to be resurrected!"**

Slenderman(somehow) smiled...but then(somehow) frowned. **"** **Huh...it IS a good story...yet why do I still feel like it's not enough?"** So he then takes the opportunity to browse his 'one-shot' story idea folder...then smiles...

" **Ah...perfect."** And that is how the 'Fisher King's' corpse was ripped from it's universe and merged with Imhotep's corpse. The Fisher King gained all of Imhotep's power and knowledge...which did him little good since he was still dead...for now...

Slenderman fondly patted the sarcophagus. " **Sleep well, my little terror...you have only begun to entertain me!"...**

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	41. Until you break, until you yield

Tales of the falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...Responses...

RasenganFin: I'm doing a whole 'reorganization' thing. I'm hoping that by doing this, I'll be able to update stories more easily. Also, fanfiction is sort of my 'testing ground' where I perfect my writing techniques for my 'real' story. So I like to experiment and dabble in different things. Never forget, if you feel like I'm going to slow. ALL my stories are up for adoption. I won't abandon them, I'm just giving you the option. I will will also allow stories to be adopted by multiple people if necessary.

...

 **HOW MANY SECONDS IN ETERNITY?**

…...

A lone, cloaked figure stood bloody and battered on top of a pile of corpses-

 **ZAP!**

And like that he was gone...

…...

Dipper and Mabel shivered in fright as the seemingly unstoppable mass of gnomes lunged for the kill-

 **BOOM!**

Only to be crushed by a fireball from the sky?

Hearing the commotion; Wendy, soos and Stan ran outside...and beheld a massive flaming crater... Amidst the smoke...a figure emerges...

 _The Shack...it's in one piece...so it DID work..._

Thinks the figure to himself as he continues to walk forward. Dipper tentatively steps forward. 'W-who are you?" He asked frightened but curious.

The figure smirks. "Remember the plot of the reedited version of 'Return Backwards to the Past Again 3' you made on your computer at age 10?"

Dipper looks at him confused...then his eyes widened in disbelief. "Your a teenage version of me from a dark alternate future!?" He exclaims.

"Wait, what!?" Shouts Mabel bewildered. Teenage Dipper tries to ignore Mabel...too many conflicting emotions there...

So he just nods. "Yes, that's right. I'll explain everything...as soon as I do two quick things." Without warning he grabs Wendy, dips her, and gives her a kiss! Wendy glows as the memories of her future self gets downloaded into her.

Teen Dipper nods satisfied...then punches Stan in face! Teen Dipper smirks. _Man that felt good!..._

…...  
TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	42. Pigs paradox 2

**Tales of the falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

While on the time bus. Slenderman looks through the paper. **"Huh, local animation genius Alex Hirsch reveals during BIG FEST Q & A session...that he's using Gravity Falls as a means to make fun of his sister...in retaliation for lying to him about a UFO sighting when they were kids"...**

He pauses the world and looks up to the readers. **" Seriously though, he did say that. Look it up on Youtube. There are two big videos; Big Fest 2016 and Alex Hirsch Big Fest Q &A...it's on the second one."**

Slender man pauses to eat another orphan...all the while in deep thought...

 **"Huh...interesting...All the Hatedom surrounding Mabel...her 'creators pet' status...Alex's seemingly jarring disconnection to all this despite his good relationship with the fanbase...could it be that it's all been deliberate? An elaborate ruse to ensure that Dipper(and by extension himself) becomes the fan-favorite(Or Alpha-Twin) amongst the fandom?...if so...WOW...Well played you Magnificent Bastard, I salute you!"  
**

Slender shakes his head as he tosses the paper in a way that slits a random pedestrians throat. **"Well, in any case...break times over...Let's get the story moving, shall we?"**

He unpauses things and turns over to Wendy and Dipper...in the middle of an argument.

Needless to say; Wendy hadn't taken the 'Dipper wanting to stop Robbie from asking her out' revelation well...

"I wanted to give you the perfect day! I wanted you to be happy!"

"By letting me get hit?" Snapped Wendy.

"I...I wanted to stop that...from happening...I DID stop that from happening...but then-

He glared at Mabel who was still in tears.

Wendy just shakes her head. "I...I just don't know what to feel with this! What am I supposed to feel about this?...

She looks over to Dipper sadly. "You know Dipper...you claim to want to be 'grown up'...but when you do stuff like this..it just...it just proves the opposite...

Dipper was in tears now. "Wendy please...I'll do whatever it takes to make this right...if you give me a chance...I'd make you happier than anyone else could!"

Wendy sighs. "How am I supposed to believe that?"

"Right, if I may interject?" States Slenderman suddenly. "Contrary to popular belief, I'm not a huge fan of angst...but I AM a huge fan of 'cutting the knot' solution's so-

 **BANG!**

Wendy's eyes widen as a pool of blood appears on her shirt- WENDY! Screams the twins!

Lolph and Dundgren bring up their rifles...only for their eye's to glaze over...and apparently give what was happening no more mind...

Slenderman holds a knife to Dipper. "A life for a life my boy...will you do it to save her?"

Dipper doesn't even hesitate. "Do whatever you have to do..."

 **Behind this curtain there is a heart that's hurting.  
It's been taking a beating. It's starting to fall apart.**

 **And I feel like such an easy target. Dodging bullets, I'm exhausted.  
How can every moment be this hard?**

Wendy's eye's widen(her body kept in a state of semi-death by Slender's power) as Slenderman begins to slice up her friend...inject his organs with a healing cocktail..rip them out...and shove them down her throat...

 **I'm holding nothing back from you.  
Doesn't really matter what I lose.**

"You sure about this boy? It's not too late for me to put this back in, you know." Teases Slenderman as he dangles one of Dippers kidneys.

Dipper(also only alive at this point by Slendermans power) just glares. "Just save Wendy." He says while bleeding profusely everywhere...

Slender shrugs and shoves it down Wendy's throat.

 **Got a heart that's open. I'm broken and I want you to know.**

Wendy nearly gags as Dipper gives Slender permission to shove his heart down her throat

 **I don't want anything coming in between you and me.**

Dipper gives permission for his liver to be fed to Wendy...

 **it doesn't matter what I have to go through.**

Dipper gives permission for his pancreas to be fed to Wendy...

 **I'm holding nothing back, nothing back from you.**

Dipper gives permission for his spleen to be fed to Wendy...

 **I've got a list that goes on and on.  
It's overflowing with memories of everything that I've been doing wrong  
And I'll be the first to say, I've chased after so many foolish things looking for a  
way to kill the pain.**

WILL YOU AT LEAST GIVE HIM PAIN-KILLERS!? Screamed a horrified Mabel as her brother writhed in agony from the dissection.

 **Got a heart that's open. I'm broken and I want you to know.  
I don't want anything coming in between you and me.  
it doesn't matter what I have to go through.  
I'm holding nothing back, nothing back from you.**

Wendy cries as Dippers esophagus is shoved down her throat...and then used as a pump to suck out Dippers blood and puts it into her...

 **I try to do the right things.  
Why am I struggling day to day with these same old things?  
Whatever's taking your place, I'm getting out of the way.  
I'm getting out of the way.**

"Oh...puberty has not been kind to you, has it boy?" Teased Slenderman as he looked at Dippers tiny wang.

"You know, I can keep it in AND make you Stud my boy...of course that would mean Wendy dying...

WILL YOU JUST SAVE HER ALREADY!? Screamed Dipper as he tried not to choke on his own blood...

 **I don't want anything coming in between...  
I'll do what I gotta do.**

"Don't be so glum chum! You got your 'boy'hood in the mouth of a pretty, older woman...what guy doesn't dream of that?" Asks Slender as he rips out Dippers genitals and feeds them to Wendy...

Both kids just glare...

 **I'm holding nothing back, back from you.**

Finally...Wendy is healed!

 **I don't want anything coming in between you and me.**

Finally...Dipper dies...

 **it doesn't matter what I have to go through.**

Both girls hug his mangled corpse and sob...

 **I'm holding nothing back, nothing back from you...**

Slenderman gives Wendy a hankerchief, she blows into it-

 **THRUMP!**

And out pops a snot covered Dipper! "TA-DAH!" Shouts Slenderman. "For my next trick..watch me make Dippers debt to me...Disappear!"

He shouts as he brings up a monitor that has the Pines family Piedmont home on it-

 **BOOM!**

The house explodes! "TA-DAH! It's gone!" Shouts Slenderman! Everyone just gaped in horror...

"Did you just kill our parents!?" Screamed a horrified Mabel.

Slenderman rolled his eyes. "Uh...no! The payment was only for one life, I only blew up one parent...if your other parent was stupid enough to be in the 10-block explosion radius, that's their own fault! Seriously, Mabel pay attention!" He chastised.

"Your an Asshole." States Wendy flatly. Slenderman smirks. "Oh, my dear...I haven't even started yet...

He bursts into maniacal laughter that echos throughout Time and Space...

 _Prison doesn't seem all that bad now..._ Whimpers a traumatized Blendin to himself...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **The song is a parody of 'Holding nothing back' by Ryan Stevenson**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	43. TyroneXPacifca shower 4

Tales of the falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...Responses...

MysterD47: I've seen one of these already, so I'll do three. Tales of the Falls: Shower story(right now),  
Laundry Day, and Crime Wave. P.S. Jungle Rhythm with a twist was a one-shot, that had no continuation planned.

...

Tyrone tried to lift himself back up...but the railing started to give a little...clearly it wasn't built for this. Tyrone quickly looked around and saw an open window a floor down. Oh his own, he wouldn't reach it...but...

"Pacifica! Quick! Climb down me! I should be able to swing you to the open window, but we have to do this fast!"

Pacifica looked at him concerned. "What!? But what about you- "I'll be fine! I've run the numbers through my head- If it's just my weight, I should be able to lift myself up without the railing giving way!" Lied Tyrone smoothly.

Oblivious to Tyrone's intended sacrifice, Pacifica agreed and climbed down him-

 **CRACK!**

Went the railing-

 **GAH!**

Screamed both kids who nearly fell-

Fortunately, the railing still held

 **AHHHHH!**

Cried out Tyrone in pain as Pacifica grasped on to the only thing keeping her from falling to her death...his testicles...

Hot tears went down Tyrone's face as his genitals were mercilessly stretched to the point of ripping-

Feeling himself blacking out from the pain, Tyrone quickly swung Pacifica safely through the open window...just as the railing gave way and he succumbed to the pain...and darkness claimed him...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	44. Bad Begining 5: inspired by GojiraCipher

Tales of the falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...Responses...

MysterD47: Relax, he's in pain. But everything is still attached...but I make no promises for future stories. also 'art/No-Under-Wear-Off-Redone-416837607'

...

 **AN: this story was inspired by GojiraCipher. Give HIS stories a read! Their good!**

...

Stan Pines groaned as he woke up...he felt like he'd been hit by a bus. "Oh, man...what happened?" He tried to think back...okay, he and Ford had been making surprisingly good time to the arctic circle...Ford had just found the source of his odd readings...and then...what happened then? Gah! It was all a blur!

Speaking of Ford...where was he? Stan looked around...he was in a giant gringy room...that had a giant hovering over it!

"GAH!" Cried out Stan in terror. "Relax Stan! It's fine! Were in no trouble!" Shouts a familiar voice. Stan turns to the source and sure enough, it's Ford...sitting on a chair beneath the giant and scribbling in his journal.

Stan was confused by this...then he saw why...the giant wasn't hovering...it was hanging! The giant had hung itself!

"Well...that's ominous." Stated Stan, he then uneasily climbs up the huge chair and walks up to his brother. "Before you ask- I don't remember how we got down here either." Said Ford before Stan could say anything. "We were close to the source of the strange readings...it appeared to be some form of lighthouse on an uncharted island...and next thing I know...were in this room."

Stan nods. "Alright...so what do we do now?" Ford closes his journal and stands up. "Well, the seawater smell, plus the amount and type of corrosion I've seen...I'd say were somewhere close to sea." he brings out a weird looking device. "According to this handheld echo-finder...were pretty far down below sea level...can't give me an exact estimate...but it's deep."

Stan frowns. "And that means...what?" "It means we can't just smash our way to freedom. This place is so dilapidated, too much damage could cause the sea to flood into here." Points out Ford.

"Ahhhh...but that's my favorite way of getting from place to place!" Groaned Stan. "Yeah, well. Odds are good that disappointment will abound today." Said Ford as he climbed down with Stan and pushed the chair to the door so they could reach the knob and get out of the room.

They came to a large catwalk stretched over a dark abyss, as they walked over it-

 **SCREECH!**

Both brothers look up at a catwalk far above them...where a giant...'thing' with a large head and larger arms dragged a metal crate across the cat walk and out of sight...

Both brothers just stared at where the 'thing' had been. "...Were gonna have to fight that thing later, aren't we?" Asked Stan finally. "Looks likely" Said Ford evenly.

With nothing left to say...they go into a dark room-

 **SPLAT!**

FULL OF GIANT LEECHES!

"Guh, reminds of my Ex-wife." Admits Stan as it tries to rip off his face. Ford throws some his pocket-holy salt onto the leeches. "Calm down Stan! If we keep our heads, and push through. We can-

"KILL THEM! KILL IT WITH FIRE!" Screamed Stan as he wheels his shoot gun around to the leech that just tried to bit off his dick-

"STAN DON'T-

 **BANG!**

 **BANG!**

 **BANG!**

 **CRACK!**

Between their weight and the holes shoot in the floor...it all gave way...

 **SQUISH!**

A blood-soaked Ford sighed. "Do I even want to know what we just landed in?" Stan was too busy barfing to answer...

...

As the two brothers tried to drag themselves out of a pile of (censored), they were being watched...

"Grukle Stan and Ford?" Asked Mable Pines as she huddled her yellow raincoat closer together...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	45. Gravity falls, Riders Rise

**Tales of the falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 _ **Mammy's little baby loves short'nin', short'nin'.**_ _**Mammy's little baby loves short'nin' bread.**_ Whistles Slenderman as he 'cooks' a large blue egg...then shoots it deep into the Piedmont forest...

…7 years later...

Mabel Pines happily stuck her head out the bus window as she sucked in the fresh air...and bugs... Mabel coughed but still smiled. "Woo-Hoo! Don't you just love that open road air!?"

"I wouldn't know." Grumbled Dipper from inside his straightjacket that was chained to the seat. Mabel winched at this, but still tried to comfort him "Don't worry Bro-Bro...when our parents weren't listening, Grunkle Stan told me he'd unlock your restraints and let you walk around all you want...won't that be great?"

Dipper rolled it eyes. "Oh, goody. A complete stranger is giving me a basic human right that my own _parents_ \- He spoke that word like a curse word -have long denied me...isn't my life grand?" Said Dipper sarcastically.

Mabel sighed. Ever since their parents sent Dipper to that Asylum...his relationship with anyone but her had been reduced to downright frosty, if not outright hostile!

Mabel frowned. "You know Dipper...you know what would stop all this." Dipper glared. "Mabel...don't." Stated Dipper flatly. Not wanting to have this argument AGAIN.

"No, no. Hear me out!" Insisted Mabel. "Here's my idea:...you tell everyone that you made the whole thing up and your were just imagining things." She then tapped her nose in a mischievous manner. "BUT, it's a lie!" She exclaims excitedly as if she'd just told the punchline to a very funny joke.

"You get your freedom, I get my brother back...Everybody wins!" Shouted Mabel excitedly.

Dipper sighs. "Except where our parents will watch me like a hawk and I won't be able to continue my search."

Mabel pulled her hair in frustration. "Look Dipper...it's been 7 years...don't you think it's time to...you know...move on?"

NO! Shouted Dipper enraged. "Look Mabel, I know you don't really believe me- But I don't care! I will NEVER give up on Saphira!" Shouted Dipper in determination! "Next to you she was my best friend! She wouldn't have just disappeared like that! Not with the connection we had!" Dipper pauses to look at the brand of the rider on his hand to renew his conviction. "Something horrible must have happened to her!" He declared.

Mabel sighed. She knew there'd be no talking to him when he got like this...

…...

Grunkle Stan was waiting for them at the bus stop. He quickly undid Dippers shackles and freed him from his straightjacket. Dipper rubbed his wrists appreciative. "Thanks Grunkle Stan...Also, thank you for convincing my parents to let me out of the asylum for the Summer."

Grunkle Stan shrugged. "Hey the only thing crazy going on here is me giving up the opportunity of 'free labor.'" Joked Grunkle Stan playfully. "But seriously, come on...I got cookies!"

"YEAH!" Shouts Mabel excitedly as she runs inside the shack-

 **CRACK!**

At that moment a large crack is heard from the shack during a bright flash of light. "Wait, what!?" Exclaimed Stan.

…...

Meanwhile, Deep within the Piedmont forest...a massive explosion rips it to pieces...witnesses would later claim that a blue streak was seen thundering away through the sky afterword's...

…...

 _Remember the escape clause my dear girl! Never step foot inside another twins house!_

Cackled a strange voice echoing from everywhere yet nowhere within the Shack.

…...

Across California, a blue streak- it's speed amplified a hundred fold by strange otherworldly forces -Broke the sound barrier as it entered Oregon...

…..

Mabel was deathly pale and shell shocked when the Stan and Dipper ran inside the Shack. "Mabel, what happened?" Asked Dipper concerned.

Mabel ignored him and ran to Stan. "GRUNKLE STAN! ARE YOU A TWIN!?" She asked frantically. Stan blanched at this sudden question. "Uh...yeah? Why do you ask?" He asked confused.

Mabel didn't answer she just fell to her knees and screamed. "NO! NO! NO! YOU IDIOT! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME!? HAVE YOU ANY IDEA WHAT YOU'VE DONE!?" Screamed Mabel horrified.

Dipper looked at her startled. "Mabel, what are you- And then he felt...his magic was back! Dipper looked at his mark in disbelief- It was glowing! "S...Saphira?" Asked Dipper out loud...barely daring to hope-

 **DIPPER!**

Screamed the dragon mentally with such force it shook the Shack! Dipper was in tears. "Saphira!" Screamed Dipper as he ran outside just as the dragon landed on the lawn. Dipper hugged her snout as she nuzzled him affectionately...Rider and Dragon...reunited at last...

"Oooookay, everyone else is seeing this, right?" Asked Wendy as she questioned her sanity.

Mabel only had one thought rattling in her head as she looked at this heartwarming scene: _I am sooooo Fracked..._

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	46. Mabel Puff Girls

Tales of the falls 

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

Professor Utonium smiled. The party was a huge success! All of Townsville had come! And they were having a wonderful time! The Mayor was chugging down a barrel of pickles, Mrs. Bellum was trying(and failing) to keep him from chocking, Talking Dog was cracking jokes. And of course his girls...were busy being amazing. Mabel Red, Mabel Blue, and Mabel Green...oh what did he ever do to deserve such wonderful girls?

Utonium nodded happily. _Yes, the party is going well._ Then he frowns. _And yet...I can't shake the feeling I'm forgetting something..._

 **SLAM!**

The fence door bursts open...revealing a very irritated 12 year-old boy. Utonium paled. _Oh, no..._ He quickly runs up to said boy. "Dipper, I am so sorry- "For what, dad? Forgetting it was my birthday too...FOR THE SEVENTH YEAR IN A ROW!?" He snaps angrily.

Before Utonium could say anything, Dipper was already storming off to the house in anger. On the way he bumps into the Mayor. "Oh, hello little boy! And who are you?" He asks innocently.

Dipper gives an exasperated sigh. "I'm Dipper. I'm the brother of the Mabel Puff Girls. We've meet each other a dozen times before this...and we have this same conversation each time." Said Dipper in a well-rehearsed, monotone manner.

The Mayor gives him a weird look for a second... "Are you sure your not lying?" He asked in a playful manner. Dipper throws his hands up in resignation. "You know, I'm actually starting to wonder that myself!" He shouts in irritation as he continues to storm back to the house.

The Mabel's seeing their brother upset, immediately go try and comfort him...

Professor Utonium groaned as he sat down at a picnic table. _I'm a horrible parent._ He thinks to himself depressed. Dipper was always the odd-one out in their family...what with being the only boy...plus the whole 'being normal' thing.

Utonium frowned. _That has never made any sense to me...Sure I can see Sugar, Spice, Everything nice, and Chemical X making three super-powered girls...but ALSO one normal boy too? How dose that happen?_

….FLASHBACK 5 YEARS AGO...

 **(Mal's whistle)**

An invisible **Slenderman** whistled a merry tune as he added a couple 'extra' ingredients into the concoction while the professor was occupied...

…...

Someone walks over to the professor while he bemoans himself. "Rough day?" Asks the stranger. The Professor groans. "You have no idea." It's only then he actually notices the stranger. "I'm sorry...and you are?" Asks the Professor.

The guy pauses to stuff a slice of cake in his mouth and swallow it. "Name's Stanford Pines. I'm one of the dozens of your lesser-known relatives who you never see...yet still invite to these parties ever year." He states gruffly as he adjusts his fez.

The Professor groans. "Oh, right...sorry about that...I REALLY need to stop putting Mabel Blue in charge of the invitations."

Stan shrugged. "Hey don't worry about that. To be honest I usually ignore them due to the distance involved...but this year my shack is being fumigated...so I thought 'what the hey?' And came right over here."

Then he frowns. "But enough about me...you forgot your sons birthday?" The Professor sighed. "Not just birthdays...Christmas's, Easters, Halloweens...the whole kit and caboodle."

Stan winched. "Yeesh, how'd that happen?" He asked in disbelief. The professor shook his head. "I honestly have no idea! It doesn't make any sense!" I'm great with the girls...but Dipper...for whatever reason he just slips through the cracks...like he doesn't exist! It's maddening!"

…Flashback...

 **(Mal's Whistle)**

 **Slenderman** whistles a merry tune as he sprinkles 'amnesia dust' on most of Townsville...

…...

Stan gave him a sympathetic pat on the back. "There, there...look...it PROBABLY isn't completely your fault." He offered. The Professor looks to him. "How do you mean?"

Stan sighed. "I know what it's like to live in the shadow of a more successful sibling...it's not easy. And it seems to me that as long as Dipper is here...he'll only ever be 'the brother of the Super girls'. How's a kid supposed to learn to be his own man when he's living under that kinda shadow?"

The Professor looked at him thoughtfully. "Huh...that's interesting...I never thought of it like that...what would you recommend then?"

Stan blanched. He hadn't been expecting him to ask for a plan! He frowned. "Uh...right...recommendation...um...Oh! Okay, how about this? How about send the boy over to work at my Shack during Summer break? The rinky-dink town I live in has barely heard of penicillin! Forget about the girls! It's a perfect place to be his own man!"

The professor gives Stan a weird look...then sighs in resignation. "Ordinarily I'd be reluctant to let Dipper hang out with someone I barely know in a place I've never heard of...But at this point I'm willing to try anything...

"That's the spirit!" Laughed Stan as they shook on it...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED? 

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	47. Courage of Gravity Falls

Tales of the falls 

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING! 

…...Responses... 

MysterD47: I like them both! I'm assuming one is for a shower update...but what's the second update you want?

... 

Stan Pines sat by his lonesome on the steps of the Mystery Shack. Waiting patiently for his niece and nephew to arrive...feeling depressed. _What a way to start the Summer! This was supposed to be a happy day! And now..._

Grunkle Stan's train of thought was stopped by the sight of the bus showing up. His nephew Dipper forlornly stepped out. Stan walked over. "She inside?" Asked Stan.

Dipper nodded, he turned around just as Mabel came out of her bus...on a wheelchair. Dipper felt like crying. _I'm so stupid! Mabel is like this forever...and for what? A stupid millimeter? Because we couldn't stop arguing even when our lives depended on it!?_

...Several days ago...

Katz laughed. "How delicious! You could've used my gun to get bigger and escape...but instead you bickered!" Then he smirked at Dipper. "However...I must say my boy...I can't help but sympathize with your plight..."

Dipper looked at him confused. "What do you mean?" Katz chuckled. "Why all my brothers and sisters were bigger then me!...in fact...why don't I show you how I handled that situation?" And with that, Katz started to raise Mabel up to his face.

Dipper paled. "Wait, what are you doing! Leave Mabel-

 **CRUNCH!**

Mabel screamed as her legs were bitten off. "MABEL!" Screamed Dipper. Katz laughed. "There! Now she's two 'feet' shorter!"

Katz has a fit of maniacal laughter as he brings the pines twins toward his dissection table-

 **BONK!**

Only to be clocked over the head by Courage's frying pan, knocking him out cold...

….Present...

Mabel sighed as she petted her pet dog Courage who cuddled on her lap. It would've been easy to blame Dipper for all this...but who was she kidding? She was equally to blame! True, Dipper could've just ignored her teasing...but she shouldn't have so needlessly antagonized him over something she KNEW he was insecure about!

More importantly, she should've just escaped instead of wasting time bickering...that had been a stupid mistake for both of them...

Worse, the whole situation could've been avoided if she'd just taken Courage seriously and listened to him when he tried to warn them about Katz!...instead of teasing him for his 'dance'(which had actually been courages attempt to pantomime 'a homicidal cat is coming to abduct you, don't fall for his pizza man disguise and open the door'.).

 _Huh...I guess people are right...I apparently couldn't take something serious to save my life...or legs in this case._ Thought a depressed Mabel as she looks down at the stumps that used to be her legs. _Well, no more! From no on I'll take life and death matters more seriously! Especially when Courage and Dipper are trying to help me!_ Thinks Mabel to herself as Grunkle Stan wheeled her in...

…...

Unbeknownst to the twins...they were being watched. Katz glared through his binoculars. _Blast! I was hoping to learn their secrets Before they came to this wretched place...no matter...I underestimated them last time...but this time it's no more Mr. nice Katz! I'll get those kids and their little dog too!...but in the meantime..._

Katz turned back to his dissection table were a bound and gagged Gideon Gleeful lay. "No where were we?" Asked Katz sadistically as he brought out a scalpel...

Gideon's screams could be heard for miles...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED? 

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	48. Gravity switch

**Tales of the falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...Responses...

imperialwar1234: 1. well, as a rule of thumb. All the major villians do whatever Slenderman wants out of fear...but for this fic...I think I'll give Slenderman a break...IF I continue it. 2. no, what is it?

sneak13579: Thank you

RasenganFin: Well, that's one way to look at it.

MysterD47: 1. okay. 2. Yes, I liked it. 3. Agree to DISAGREE

BarryManiHigh: Funny, you should mention that...

...

Dipper kicked off his shoe's and laid down content on his new bed. This day was going well for him. At first it looked like him and Mabel would have to fight for this room.

But within a minute of the contest starting. All that smiley dip she had at her slumber party last night, finally came back to haunt her...Long story short: she was going to spend the next 3 days with a stomach pump...and Dipper had won the contest by default.

Dipper smiled. _Could this day get any better?_ Suddenly, a familiar figure came through the door. _I guess it can._ Thinks Dipper triumphantly.

 _"_ Hey, dipper! Heard about your new pad." Wendy lets out an impressed whistle as she steps on the carpet and looks around. Wow, swanky!" Dipper smiled as he jumped off the bed onto the carpet. Yeah I-

 **ZAP!**

Something was wrong...he was tall...and looking at himself on the floor!...also his chest felt heavy. _Chest!?_ Thought Dipper to himself as he looked down at "his"...BREASTS!?

The "dipper" on the ground looked up at him confused. "Dipper?" Asked the confused 'girl'. "Wendy?" Asked the now very awkward 'boy'...Neither knew what to say...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	49. Leauge of Extraordianry Pines

**Tales of the falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...Responses...

MysterD47: Look, I'm not having an argument with you here in the response section. I created this section to be a safe place. Where people could submit story ideas, give constructive criticisms, ask story related questions, and bribe me. If you get a fanfiction account where I can PM you to have a PRIVATE friendly debate, call me and we'll resume this debate. Until then...agree to DISAGREE.

imperialwar1234: Wait, you were talking about Starcraft? Okay, that I'm more familiar with...but not by much...I'll consider it.

...

Mabel Pines was having a weird Summer...First there was that incident the first week with her first 'failed' summer romance...

…..

 _Mabel finds Dipper reading a strange journal in the gift shop. "Hey, Bro bro! Meet my new Hubby, Norman!" Shouts Mabel introducing him to the older, weird-looking guy._

 _Dipper gets up and walks to him with a smile and a hand extended ready for a handshake._

" _Hey Norman, nice to meet yo- OOPS! Shouts Dipper as he trips and falls onto Norman-_

 _RIP!_

 _This leaves Norman exposed...as a bunch of little of little men?_

" _Wait, what!?" Shouts a surprised Mabel, Wendy and Soos. 'Norman' coughed. "Right...so were gnomes...So that's that's a thing." He admitted awkwardly._

 _GET OUT OF MY SHACK!_ _Screams an enraged Grunkle Stan..._

…...

What followed was a rapid fight that nearly destroyed the Shack...Mabel couldn't quite put her finger on it...but there'd been something weird about how Dipper tripped...

And that hadn't been the only weird thing...Dipper gave up a chance to go lake monster hunting in favor of going on a fishing trip with Grunkle Stan! And a couple days ago...

…...

" _Yeah! I'm taller! Alpha Twin! Alpha Twin!" Shouts Mabel excitedly. Dipper smiled. "Way to go Mabel, good for you!"_

 _Mabel looks at him shocked! "Uh...did you just compliment me for doing something better than you?"_

 _Dipper nodded. "Yeah, I'm really happy for you."_

 _Mabel looks at him with great concern as she feels his forehead. "Are you feeling alright Dipper?" She asks sincerely worried..._

…..

What's more, he was always sneaking out at night into the woods...or away with Grunkle Stan...

A week ago she found him burning a bunch of wax Dummy parts in the fireplace...And that weird triangle guy statue she saw him dragging around!

And of course there was the 'episode' of a couple days ago...

…..

" _WAIT, WHAT!? Quick, turn that up!" Shouts Dipper in a panic. A scared Mabel complies and turns up the volume-_

" _To Recap: the Tent of Telepathy has burnt to the ground! Local icon/psychic has been confirmed dead! And so has his father! I'm_ _Shandra Jimenez, and I'm happy that Toby Determined has gone missing..._

 _Dipper looked confused. "I don't understand! This makes no sense! This wasn't supposed to happen!" He shouts out loud._

" _Dipper, what are you talking about?" Asks a concerned Mabel. But Dipper had already left the room..._

…..

Mabel was concerned...and didn't know what to make of it all...

Her train of thought was then derailed; for Wendy came into the room irritably talking on the phone. "Yeah, I heard about it...what are we going to do? I don't know...maybe we'll have to cancel tonight's get-together."... She said that last part with a sigh.

"What's wrong?" Asked a concerned Mabel. Wendy sighed. "Me, and my friends were all set to check out this abandoned store on the east side of town...but we just found out it burnt to the ground last night"...

 _East side?...wait, isn't that the direction that Dipper was going last night?..._ Thought a confused Mabel...

Suddenly, Dipper popped up. "Hey, you guys need somewhere else to party? Because I know a great place you can go...provided you bring me and Mabel along too." He adds with a smile.

Wendy frowns. "I don't know...how old are you guys?" She asked. For a brief instant Mabel saw the smile fall away from her brother, and a forlorn look replaced it.

But just as quickly as it came...it left. "Were only 12, but I promise it'll be worth it! In fact; I bet that you'll have a great time! If not, I'll do all your work at the Shack for the next week!"

"Deal!" Shouts an excited Wendy as she shakes his hand. She then laughs "Sucker! You got played! I'm not an easy girl to impress!-

…..3 hours latter...

-I've never been more happy to lose a bet." Stated an amazed Wendy as she and her equally amazed friends beheld the hundreds of glowing, flying, jellyfish-like creatures that flew through the air...they seemed to glow all the colors of the rainbow and hum an enchanting tune as they soared through the forest.

Tambry was going crazy blogging everything, Robbie was reluctantly admitting that place was 'okay', while the other guys were tossing Dipper up into the air-

"DR. Fun Time! Dr. Fun Time!" They chanted. When the teens had finished, an over excited Wendy swept him up. "Thanks Dipper! This is awesome! You Rock!" She gives him a light peck on the check and then runs off to climb a tree to get a better view of the Jellies.

Dipper flusters...then sighs as he walks off depressed. Mabel sees this, and is confused. She then goes off after him

"Hey get a load of this!" Shouts Lee as he points out a weird monolith...the teens gather around it...on it's face was a hand print...around were pictures of people placing their hands on it..most showing nothing happening...but those shown with big hearts...are shown with music?"

"Whoa...weird...let's trash it!" Shouts Lee. The others shout an excited confirmation as they try to shake the monolith out of the ground...

…...

Wendy was wandering aimlessly through the treetops...when she saw Dipper and Mabel below. She was about to call down to them-

-"Come on! Admit it! Someone's in love!" Shouts Mabel teasingly.

Dipper sighed. "Yes, fine. I love Wendy! There, you happy!?"

Wendy suddenly became quite flustered, silent...and very self-conscious on how noisy a tree can be if you move even a little bit...

Mabel was also surprised! "Wow...okay...wasn't really expecting you to just confess like that"... Admitted a disoriented Mabel, she then quickly shook it off.

"Well, anyway! Great to hear! What are you planning on doing to win her over?"

"Nothing." Stated Dipper flatly. "Oh, that's- Wait, what?" Asked a confused Mabel.

Dipper sighs. "Come on Mabel...not only is she older than me...she's also way out of my league!"

"Still...your not going to do anything?" Asks Mabel in disbelief, this was so unlike Dipper!

Dipper sighed. "Mabel I'm not going to make Wendy feel uncomfortable just for something that's never going to happen anyway." He states forlornly.

Dipper sighs. "Wendy's a great person...and a great friend...And I should be happy with just that." Said Dipper while pausing to brush a tear drop from his eye.

"But your NOT happy with this." Stated Mabel. Dipper shook his head. "Trust me Mabel, anything else is a lost cause." Stated Dipper with a certainty that unnerved both girls.

Mabel frowns. _We'll see about that..._ She thinks to herself as she concocts a plan. "Mabel if I even suspect you of pushing us into a closet together I'll tell everyone what you do during Full moon nights!" Shouts Dipper suddenly.

Mabel flustered. "What!? How'd you know what I was thinking!? Also, empty threat! You do that and I'll tell everyone about your internet history!"

"Fine, I don't care. Wendy's more important!" Stated a determined Dipper.

Mabel jaw dropped to the floor! "Wait, what!? But your...why would you...do you realize"... She then sighed in defeat. "Okay fine...you win...but this just seems wrong to me"...

Despite the awkward situation. Wendy can't help but feel flattered at how high an opinion Dipper seemed to have of her...And touched for Dipper's consideration for her feelings. These were just some of the many conflicted emotions that were flowing through her.

 _Wow...Dipper is really mature for his age..._ Thinks Wendy to herself impressed. She then leans over to take a closer look at Dipper's retreating form. _I wonder if-_

 **CRACK!**

Next thing Wendy knows. She's flat on her face in front of two very startled twins. She chuckles nervously. "Uh, hey guys." She ventures awkwardly. "So...uh...Nope, no way to recover." She admits in resignation.

A mortified Dipper quickly tries to run; old, painful memories rising up once more within his soul...

"Dipper, wait!" Shouts both girls as they run after him. Frantically Dipper runs into the clearing. But he's so focused on not letting the girls catch up to him-

 **CRASH!**

-that he doesn't see the teens until he smacks into them, he flounders as he falls on top of the monolith. His hand lands on the hand print...which then glows and encases his hand in stone.

Dipper frantically tries to pull out...but it's all in vain...the Jellies begin to respond to the monoliths influence...and they begin their dance...and song...

 **You never go  
You're always here (suffocating me)  
Under my skin  
I cannot run away  
Fading slowly**

Everyone was shocked! The jellies were using their color and movements to make pictures...pictures of Wendy! Impossible pictures of Wendy!

 **I'd give it all to you  
Letting go of me  
Reaching as I fall  
I know it's already over now  
Nothing left to lose  
Loving you again  
I know it's already over, already over now**

Wendy was getting hit by a ball! Over and over again!

 **My best defense,  
Running from you (cost me everything!)  
I can't resist, take all you want from me  
Breaking slowly**

Wendy was in tears! And yelling at Dipper!

 **I'd give it all to you  
Letting go of me  
Reaching as I fall  
I know it's already over now**

A five year old Wendy and Tambry are talking to a flustered Dipper!

 **Nothing left to lose  
Loving you again  
I know it's already over, already over now!**

Wendy is beating up a shape-shifting monster!

 **You're all I'm reaching for  
It's already over  
All I'm reaching for!  
It's already over now**

Wendy is punching out an enormous Biker guy!

 **I'd give it all to you  
I offer up my soul  
It's already over, already over now!**

Wendy jumps on a flying Eyeball and makes it attack a giant monster!

 **Give it all to you  
Letting go of me  
Reaching as I fall  
I know it's already over now**

Dipper cries over what appears to be Wendy's unmoving body...

 **Nothing left to lose  
Loving you again!**

Wendy comforts Dipper on top of a log...

 **I know it's already over now!  
It's already over now!**

Wendy and Dipper exchange hats...

 **I know it's already over, already over...**

And just as quickly as it started...the song ended...

Everyone was stunned silent...Dipper(finally free of the monolith) runs away crying into the woods.

"Uh...what just happened here?" Asked a now very weirded out Lee. No one answered...Mabel and Wendy are quick to shake it off and run after Dipper...not knowing what else to do...the teens reluctantly follow after them...

…..

"Dipper! Where are you!?" Shouts Tambry as she searches. Suddenly she hears a rustle in a nearby bush. "Dipper?" Asks Tambry out loud as she brushes the bush aside...revealing a bunch of men standing over a naked woman who's had her breasts, uterus, nose, and intestines slashed off!

"You've stumbled into Ripper territory poor girl." Says the group leader as he activates his switch blade and points it at the now terrified girl. "Now we gotta bake you into a pie."...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: This song is 'Already Over' by 'Red'**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	50. TyroneXPacifca shower 5

Tales of the falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...Responses...

MysterD47: I saw it, I liked it...but not sure where I'll use it yet.

Also, Enjoy...this is the last part...

...

 **TYRONE!**

Screamed Pacifica as she watched him fall. She once more grabbed at him-

 **GAH!**

Screamed a now foaming at the mouth Tyrone as once more his most sensitive area was ALMOST ripped out.

Saying a silent 'sorry' to him, she quickly pulled a now unconscious Tyrone into the room. "Thank you." She whispered as she gave him a light peck on the lips.

 **CRACK!**

Suddenly Soos and Mable came stumbling into the room-

 **ROAR!**

Both of them jumped back in terror as Pacifica snarled at them. "THAT'S IT! I'M SICK OF THIS SIT-COM BS! HERE! YOU SEE IT! WERE NAKED! TAKE A PICTURE! IT LASTS LONGER! NOW WILL YOU PLEASE LEAVE SO I CAN GIVE TYRONE MEDICAL ATTENTION!?"

A terrified Soos and Mable quickly oblige...

...

Tyrone groans as he wakes up...first...he realizes that..he's in a bed...Next, he's still naked...finally, Pacifica- Also naked...is sleeping beside him...

Happy how this worked out...he gives Pacifica a light peck on the lips...then goes back to sleep...

 **END.**

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	51. Bad Begining 6: inspired by GojiraCipher

**Tales of the falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...Responses...

imperialwar1234: I looked it up and it looks interesting...

MysterD47: thank you...any other ideas?

HyperA1985: Sorry, but no...I'm willing to be bribed to make it happen though

...

 **AN: this story was inspired by GojiraCipher. Give HIS stories a read! Their good!**

...

Dipper desperately tried to make himself as unnoticeable as possible...on top of everything, he did NOT want to deal with this...

"Dipper Pines! Sit up straight!" Shouts Mr. Lenderman suddenly. Dipper groans as this draws the immediate attention of the three girls...and their hostile glares.

Dipper tries not to look them in the face. Okay...this is a problem...but I've faced worse then this...as long as I sidestep them and keep my mouth shut...we can just-

"Right class! Time for your first assignment! GEOGRAPHY!" Everyone- Except Dipper, who was still feeling the glares of the three girls on his back -groaned at this.

"Don't worry boys and girls! This'll be fun! I'm going to blindfold all of you, separate you into groups of four, drop you at random points all over town and you must rely on your own sense of direction to return! How neat is that?!"

The class just looked at him like he was insane...

"The first team to come to the designated finish line gets an 'A' in geography for the rest of the year and a fabulous prize!...everyone else will get an 'F'!"

"WAIT, WHAT!?" Shouts everyone. But Mr. Lenderman is already turning out the lights, before Dipper knew what was happening...something was put over his eyes...and he was forcibly dragged somewhere...

After a long rocky ride...Dipper found himself forcibly being shoved off and hitting the warm concrete below. Dipper groans as he removes his blindfolds...He saw he was in the outskirts of Piedmont...and pails as he also sees the backs of three girls: one with pigtails, one wearing a corn accessory, another a log accessory.

"No!" Groans Dipper. "It couldn't be!" He shouts desperately.

Then the girls turn around...and it turns out to be three completely different girls.

Dipper let's out a sigh of relief... "Thanks for holding our stuff while we went to the outhouse." Said Emma Sue suddenly as she Maize and Ivy suddenly stepped back into view. Dipper paled as the three strange girls welcomed them, gave back their stuff and accessories and walked out of the story...

All three girls glared at him. Dipper chuckled nervously. "Uh...hey girls...how you been?" Emma glared. "How do you think, jerk?" She retorted annoyed.

Dipper sighed. "Okay...I deserved that." He recomposed himself and talks back to them determined.

"Look, I'm sorry about everything, alright? I'd just gotten my heart broken, and I was told to 'move on' and-

"Well, that's stupid!" Interrupted Maize. "Yeah! You don't force yourself to move on when your clearly not ready! All your doing is hurting yourself- and other people!" Adds Ivy.

"Yeah, you want to torment yourself with your problems, fine! But leave other people who don't even know you out of it!" Snaps Emma.

Dipper blanched at the three pronged assault. "Uh..."

"Yeah, seriously. Why would you listen to such dumb advice?" Pointed out an annoyed Maize.

Unseen by all, Slenderman twirls a bubble wand. Which produces a thought bubble filled wit the memory of Mable giving that advice...right over Dippers head...

..."You know...I'm starting to wonder that myself." Admits a slightly annoyed Dipper. He quickly shakes it off though. "Okay...look, you don't like me? That's fine, I deserve that. So what do you say we just get through this dumb assignment, and I just promise to avoid you all for the rest of the School year?" He offered.

"We get 'right of way' whenever we need to go somewhere?" Asked Ivy. "Sure." Said Dipper evenly. The girls look at him skeptically...

"Luckily for you...were new to this area and don't know where anything is..." Admitted Emma finally..."Okay, fine. You got a deal." She says finally.

Dipper nods. "Alright...actually, I have a pretty good GPS on my- He rummages in his pocket -Shoot, I must've dropped it when I hit the pavement..." He quickly goes over to look for it-

Slenderman freezes time-

 **(Mal's whistle)**

He whistles as he drops the phone he'd swiped from Dipper near the girls. **"Right...now I'll just let Tambry's message finally come through..."**

He then throws some of el Furioso's fury dust onto the girls. With a clap of his hands...time goes forward again...

"Hey is this your phone!?" Shouts Maize as she picks up the ringing phone...then flushes embarrassed as she sees the picture on it...this embarrassment then turns to rage...especially when the other two sees-

"WHAT THE BLOOD!?" "I KNEW HE WAS SLEAZY!" "LET'S GET HIM!"

Before Dipper knew what was happening...he was being tackled and brutally beaten up...

Slenderman laughs as he waits a couple minutes before once more freezing time...he then grabs the frozen Dippers clothes...rips them off and shreds them like confetti over him...he takes his back pack and tosses it to the side...then he grabs Wendy's hat, rips it a little and throws it into the gutter...he then sucks out the dust from their system...and gives it all to Dipper...

 **"TIME IN-"** He laughs.

The girls just stared in shock...they'd violently beaten Dipper! He had a black eye, his nose looked broken, he had dozens of bruises and lacerations!...and they'd ripped off all his clothes?...they didn't remember doing that...but it was all a blur of red and fury...so they must've done it!

"Uh...Dipper?" Asked a shame-faced Emma. Dipper wasn't listening...he was staring at the drenched and torn up hat of Wendy...

Dipper snarled and jumped to his feet. "OKAY! THAT'S IT! I'VE HAD IT! I'VE TRIED TO BE NICE, BUT YOU JUST CROSSED THE LINE!"

The girls cowered in terror...this boy was scary! And Dipper wasn't done yet!

"YOU KNOW I WASN'T GOING TO BRING THIS UP- I WAS TOTALLY WILLING TO TAKE THE FALL FOR THIS TO KEEP THE PEACE! BUT FRACK THAT! AND FRACK YOU! LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING- I'VE GONE OVER OUR CONVERSATION A THOUSAND TIME AND PUTTING ASIDE THE FACT THAT 'WE'D MEET ON THE ROAD AND THE ODDS WERE ASTRONOMICAL WE'D EVER MEET AGAIN'- WHAT PART OF THE BRIEF, PLATONIC CONVERSATIONS WE HAD- IN ANY SHAPE OR FORM INDICATED I WAS ROMANTICALLY INTERESTED IN ANY OF YOU!?"

"Uhhh." Blanched Ivy nervously.

"SO WHAT'S THE MORAL THERE!? GIRLS WILL MISINTERPRET ANY INTERACTION YOU HAVE WITH THEM AS DEEPLY ROMANTIC AND MEANINGFUL TO YOU BOTH, SO GIVING ATTENTION TO MORE THAN ONE AT ONCE IS A BAD IDEA!? IS THAT IT!?"

"Well..." Cowered Emma awkwardly. But Dipper had continued to ramble enraged...

"AND ANOTHER THING! WHY DIDN'T MABLE HELP ME WITH THIS!? WHY DID I NEED TO GO TO GRUNKLE STAN FOR 'ADVICE'!? SHE'S THE ONE WHO CONSTANTLY BUTTS IN TO OTHER PEOPLE'S LOVE LIFE! SHE TOOK MY PRIVATE STUFF ABOUT WENDY IN A BOX I'D CLEARLY MARKED 'PRIVATE'! SHE'S THE ONE WHO'S THE SELF-PROCLAIMED 'MATCHMAKER'! BUT SHE JUST BUTTED IN, CONDEMNED ME FOR NOT MAGICALLY GETTING OVER HEARTBREAK OVERNIGHT, GAVE ME ONE PIECE OF VAGUE ADVICE...THEN JUST LEFT ME TO FLOUNDER ON MY OWN! DESPITE KNOWING BETTER THEN ANYONE ELSE HOW MUCH I SUCK WITH GIRLS! THE WHOLE THING READS LIKE A POORLY-WRITTEN 'CONFLICT BALL' THAT SAPS WRITE INTO SIT-COM'S TO GET THE PLOT GOING!

"What?" Asked a confused Maize as the dust continued to overwhelm Dippers reason and ramble further off topic...

AND ANOTHER THING! WHO WAS MABLE TO JUDGE ME!? FROM THE VERY FIRST DAY OF SUMMER, SHE WAS FLIRTING AGGRESSIVELY WITH NEARLY EVERY GUY HER AGE SHE COMES ACROSS! BUT DID ANYONE CONDEMN HER!? NO! THEY JUST TREAT IT AS A CHARMING QUIRK OF HER CHARACTER. AGAIN; WHAT'S THE MORAL THERE!? GIRLS CAN FLIRT WITH ANY BOY THEY WANT BUT BOYS HAVE TO REIGN IT IN-

The girls said nothing as the boy in front of him grew madder and madder...

"JUST MOVE ON!? LIKE YOU 'MOVED ON' WHEN WADDLES WAS TAKEN BY PACIFICA!? I-

 **"Okay...bored now!"** Yawned Slenderman as he began to slowly drain the dust out of Dippers system..and whisper into his ear: "Just go home".

"You know what!? Frak this! And frack my grade! I'm going home!" Shouted Dipper as he picked up Wendy's hat, his phone, and his backpack and angrily walked home naked...

The three girls just stared after him stunned...none of them knowing what to do...

...Meanwhile...

The rest of Dippers class screamed as they were fed into the furnace. Slenderman then turns to his phone and smirks as he sees his 'surprise' for Dipper and co. beginning to make itself 'known'.

He then turns to the readers. **"May all our stories end so well...until next time!"**

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: the names of the other two girls belong to 'The Howling Behemoth', I'm using them with his permission. Check out his stories! Their great!**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	52. Fall of Grim Tales: nightmaster000

Tales of the falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...Responses...

DeepShadowJohn: I actually, have the next chapter for both already done...but I'm saving them for Sundays...not this Sunday though, got something special planned...after those chapters, I'm willing to accept Bribes to 'speed up' the chapter making process

...

Stan Pines groans as he wakes up. _Wha- where am I?_ He thinks to himself drowsily. The world was still spinning...he couldn't tell where the black blobs began and his body began. His felt like he'd been hit by a truck...repeatedly...

 _Okay Stan...deep breaths...remember Columbia...asses the situation...okay...I'm hungover...so I was drunk...so the odd of this being a bad situation goes down from 100%...to 95%. Okay...arms and legs aren't shackled...good...got what feels like 1- No 2 1/2$ poker chip lodged in my shoe...nice...there's no giant clown named bozo wanting to slit my belly...even better...I'm surrounded by the lords of the underworld...WAIT, WHAT!?_

And that's when it all came back to Stan: he'd been sitting in his chair...He'd been watching The Duchess Approves...he'd been cheering when Count Lionel had 'blown' his chances- And just like that...he was in the middle of a poker game...the poker game to end all poker games!

'Grim'; the Grim Reaper pulled his head out of a bucket of nacho cheese. "What happened?" He groaned.

Aku; the Shapeshifting Master of Darkness...had his head stuck inside a turkey. "Did anyone get the licensee plate of the car that hit me?" He groaned.

'Him'; a high-ranking regent and distant relative of the devil groaned. "My mind is in agony...this'll be perfect for torturing my slaves!"

Hunson abadeer; Demon King of the Nightosphere...was wallowing in filth. "Hey...if you guys see any livers...it's probably mine..." He guessed deliriously...

Bill Cipher; Nightmare Czar extraordinaire...was waking up inside a fishbowl...as a gecko. "Okay, who's the wise guy?"

And at the head of the table...The most powerful and most feared Eldritch Abomination of them all(And the only one not inebriated); **SLENDERMAN.**

 **Hmmmmm, so even the so-called lords of the underworld couldn't handle my 'special' liquor...good to know."** He said offhand before getting back to business.

" **In any case; as the designated 'bookie' it's my job to tell you...Grunkle Stan won it all!"** There was screams of denial and anguish...and screams of delight from Stan.

"HOT BABY, I'M ON FIRE!" Shouted Stan. _Not yet your not._ Thought Him nastily as he extended out an inflamed finger...only to abort and cower under Slendermans glare.

"I won! I won! I...wait, what did I win?" Asked Stan confused, most of the night was still a blur.

Slenderman(somehow) smirked. "It's not necessarily what 'you' won, my good man...but rather what your 'family' won...more specifically; your great nephew...

...a few hours later...

 **YOU DID WHAT?!**

Screamed Mandy as she tried to kill her husband...

...12 years earlier...

Preston Northwest nearly had a heart attack when a triangle/cyclops 'thing' jumped out of a time-vortex.

"Alright Northwest! Everything you have, you owe to me! And now I'm calling in that favor! BRING ME YOUR WIFE!" Screamed Bill Cipher...

...2 years earlier...

"Hey there, my good man! How'd you like to make your family very wealthy AND possibly get revenge on the Northwests?" Asked Hunson Abadeer.

"…..I'm listening." Said Manly Dan simply...

…NOW...

Dipper Pines was panicking...one moment Thompson was driving them all home from the 'Dusk 2 Dawn' convenience store...and suddenly Wendy was screaming in pain...and burning!

The other teens were freaking out...but Dipper...Dipper remained focused. Panicking was not going to help the woman he loved. He quickly drew out his journal and cross-examined it and Wendy's symptoms...and then he saw her mouth...

No time to explain, Dipper screams at Thompson to detour through the thick-canopy forest while ripping Robbie's hoodie off his back and urging Wendy to put it on...she dose...and the pain stops...

A now deathly pale Wendy looked at Dipper surprised. "Dipper...what just-

"The sun was hurting you." Stated Dipper flatly. "Wendy...I don't know how...but somehow you've become a vampire." Says Dipper as he points out her still growing fangs...

…...

"Wha- how- How is this possible!?" Exclaims a panicky Wendy as the twins help her toward the Shack, keeping her out of the sun.

"D-don't worry Wendy...I'll get to the bottom of this." He assures her. Despite the situation...Wendy couldn't help but believe him...if only a bit...

Wendy whispers 'thank you' as she gives him a hug. Dipper flusters..but hugs back.

 **BOOM!**

Went the door as Grunkle Stan burst out the front door. "Kids! How are you? You doing alright?" Asked Stan with warmth and affection...which immediately put the twins on edge.

"Oh, no. Who died?" Asked Mable horrified. "What no! Nothing's wrong...or right...Look, I have news...let's not go labeling it good or bad...just yet." Rambles Stan in a poor attempt to be reassuring.

He shakes his head. "Look, let's focus on the positive." He turns to Dipper. "Dipper! You no longer need worry about the age gap keeping you from being with Wendy-

"Whoa! Not cool man!" Flusters Dipper as he gestures that his crush is within ear shot.

"No kid, really. Relax! You don't have to worry...because your both married!"

Their was a long...deathly silence. "What." They both said flatly. "Oh...and your also married to 4 other girls...who are waiting inside right now..."

"What!" They both shouted. "Oh...and their also underworld royalty too...so that's a thing too." He admitted awkwardly...

 **WHAT!?**

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	53. Ginger vs blonde

**Tales of the falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...Responses...

MysterD47: Wonderful! Great picture! I'll do it! That story idea sounds interesting too! PM me with it when you figure it out!

WenDip and Pinecest: That all depends on real life, inspiration, whims of my lord...and if your willing to bribe me.

...

 **OUR FAMILY NAME IS BROKEN AND I'M GOING TO FIX IT!**

Screamed Pacifica as she overcame the power of the bell and opened the flood gates for the commoners! They all came rushing in partying like it was 1999! The curse lifted, The Lumberjack ghost ascended and-

 **PAUSE**

With time now frozen, Slenderman (somehow) smiled down at the chaos below. " **YES! I love this episode! Real dysfunctional family values! A compelling antagonist!(both of them) And a tale of redemption that goes above and beyond the call of Crowning moment of awesome!"**

Then he sighs. " **And yet..."** He longingly traces the familial thread back from the Lumberjack ghost...all the way to a certain fiery red-head. He shakes his head disappointed. " **So many potentially good story lines gone to waste...it just breaks your heart...or it would if I had one."**

Then he shrugs. **"Oh, well! I guess if you want something done right you gotta do it yourself!" And with that he goes around making...'adjustments'. "Ok, let's see...fix the memory...tweak the rage...rearrange this...smash that...Yeah, that should do it! TIME IN!"**

…..

Pacifica and Dipper laughed as they messed up the Northwests carpet. "But seriously, I should get someone to clean this up." Said Pacifica suddenly as she walked away. Before Dipper could, say anything. He suddenly found himself whisked away by old man Mcgucket-

…...

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU NORTHWEST!?

This seemed to be the battle cry of the party guests as they cornered Preston. Preston was sweating bullets. To say that things hadn't gone his way that night would be a colossal understatement!

"Now friends, just calm down- "CALM DOWN!? CALM DOWN!? We nearly died and you ask us to calm down!?" Interrupted an oil tycoon.

"People, please!" Implored Preston. "I had everything under control- "WE WERE TURNED TO WOOD!" Shouts an irritated Media mogul.

Preston winched. "Well, technically yes- "Your not worming your way out of this Preston!" Interrupted an exotic Sultan. "We all heard that ghosts weird rhyming rants! We saw you try and stop your daughter from saving us!"

Preston paled. "But- I- That is- I had a difficult decision to make..." All the guests looked at him like he was an idiot. An all-star celebrity rubbed his temples in disbelief. "Let me see if I have this straight...you would rather a homicidal ghost threaten your family and associates...then let middle class people party for one night?...That's just- Wow, there are- There are no words to express my rage of the sheer moronic insanity of that!" there was a chorus of agreements from the other party goers.

Preston stuttered. "B-b-but- Look come on! What would you have done in my place?"

"Well, call us crazy but maybe we would have- Oh, I don't know- JUST LET THE PEOPLE HAVE A DANG PARTY TO AVOID GETTING KILLED!" Shouted an irate Senator.

Preston frantically tried to calm the seething mob. "People, please! I know that this years party ran...less than smoothly... But next year I promise will-

"Next year!? There's not going to be a next year!" Pointed out a software billionaire. "I think I speak for everyone when I say that I'm never stepping foot in this house again!"

Preston couldn't believe his ears! "Wait, what!? NO! Ladies and gentlemen, please! Be reasonable!" But the guests were having none of that! They were storming out of the mansion in droves...

 _Ruined...I'm ruined..._ Thought a horrified Preston as he watched the last of his guests leave in a huff while his once pristine mansion was ruined by the riff-raff... The Northwest Family maybe a member of the 'Fiction 500'...but even they wouldn't be able to survive being snuffed by the other 499 members!

It was of course, at that moment that Pacifica happened to walk within his eyesight...which immediately went red with rage.

 **THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT YOU UNGREATFUL BRAT!**

…...

Dipper heard this whirled around and saw Preston beating up Pacifica! Dipper was already running!

"Wait! Dipper!" Shouts Mcgucket frantically. "I need to show you-

 **(PAUSE)**

Slenderman smacks his forehead. " **Oh! I knew I forgot something! Silly me."** And with a snap of his finger he adds a week to the countdown. **"There, that should be enough time to do my business-**

 **(UNPAUSE)**

Pacifica cries out as her father reigns one blow after another on her. Every person in the room was frozen in shock...well except one of course- "Leave her alone!" Shouts Dipper as he runs to them.

Preston snarls. "But out boy! I will make your family grovel-

 **CRACK!**

SHUT UP! Shouts Dipper as he clocks Preston right in the face, knocking him out cold. Ignoring the shocked stares from all around, Dipper tries to help Pacifica to her feet. But she's too injured, so he carries her on his back.

Pacifca blushed as she held him. _He's so warm..._ Dipper flustered as pacifica's chest pressed into his back. " _Wow...I thought she was only 12- NO! FOCUS! NEED TO GET HER TO SAFETY!"_

Dippers mind raced as he ran. " _Okay, obviously she can't stay here...take her to the police?(mental image of Blubs getting his head stuck in a turkey while Durland panics and runs into a wall) Yeah...no, just no. Take her to the Shack? (groan) No, that's the first place her parents would look. Okay, come on think Dipper! I need somewhere safe, somewhere secret and isolated, that no one else would know about...that has all the supplies that she'll need_ -" And that's when it hit him-

…...

It took some doing...but he was finally able to re-open the bunker. " _Okay rest tonight...figure out how to keep girl safe from power crazy father later...riiiight..."_ Thought an exhausted Dipper as he carried a sleeping Pacifica bridal style into the Bunker...

…...

Slenderman smirked at the scene. **"Well, one leading lady down...one to go..."** With a snap of his finger, he teleports into the Corduroy families haunted house. Just in time to grab a ghostly Key out of thin air...followed shortly by a rock with a Keyhole in it...finally in one place...they eagerly synchronize...

…...

Deep within the forest, an invisible wizard is making funny faces at people-

 **ZAP!**

Suddenly, The wizard felt his power restored and his restrictions lifted! The wizard laughed! "Finally...after all these years... **KRXSKXL the unperceivable** has returned!"

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	54. Roadside Divergence B1

**Tales of the falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...Responses...

MysterD47: Okay, you must not have read my AN in the recent chapter...I'm completely out of ideas for the laundry day story...I have no idea what to do next. You'll have to pick something else. Sorry. Remember, any story or chapter in my gravity, jungle, or pokemon Tales is up for grabs!

nightmaster000: 1. Heh, yeah...anything you'd like to see happen in this story? 2. Hmmm...sounds interesting...any other specifics you'd like to add?

...

 _Where the hell is Dipper!?_ Thinks Stan frantically. The worlds biggest ball of yarn was ready to be unwound! They needed to get out of here before Sweetkins gets wise!

He gets an unexplainable urge to look in a nearby bush...where his naked nephew is looking down on an equally naked tour girl in horror. Stan looks at this sight in horror! The girl was unconscious! Dipper was crying! "I...I don't know what came over me!" Admits an ashamed Dipper. One moment he'd been trying to flirt...the next they were attacking each other hungrily!

Suddenly hearing Sweetkins angry scream; shocked Stan back to earth. Resolving to figure this out later; he grabs Dipper and runs him to the R.V...

 **(Mal's Whistle-song plays)**

After everyone has left. Slenderman(invisible to all) whistles malevolently as he makes some 'adjustments' to the girl before she wakes...

…...

Dipper walks into Upside-Down town awkwardly. After a long, awkward talk with Stan...they'd decided to chalk the whole thing to usual 'Gravity Falls weirdness'. And try to forget it happened. Dipper felt bad about the whole thing and wanted to try to contact the girl. But Stan forbid it.

 _Look kid...Woman can be...'unpredictable' when it comes to this sort of thing...we believe in 'weirdness'...a jury will only believe 'rape'...Which is why were not going to mention this to the girls either..._

So against Dipper better judgment, he went along with Stans advice. He bumps into someone. "Oh, I'm sorry- The instant Dipper saw Emma Sue, he stopped talking...and they both got 'busy'.

 **(Mal's whistle)**

Slenderman whistles as he conceals the two young lovers from prying eyes...until he 'influences' an increasingly mortified Stan to this location...

…...

Needles to say, Stan and Dipper agreed it would be best if Dipper stayed in the RV for the rest of the trip. Dipper sighed. _So much for getting over Wendy._ Thinks Dipper mournfully as he lounges on the chair-

 **BUG SPRAY!**

 **CRASH!**

Dipper looked in amazement as a hobo wearing a tinfoil-hat threw a can of bug-spray through the window. Within moments, the RV was filled with noxious smoke. Dipper gagged as he was forced to flee to the outside-

 **SMACK!**

Where he crashed right into a corn-maze girl. _Oh, no._ Thought Dipper as their urges once more took over-

 **(Mal's whistle)**

A nearby homeless man whistled as he reverted back to Slenderman...

…...

"Uh, Grunkle Stan? Why are you chaining and boarding up the RV?" Asks Mabel. Stan panics. "Uh...Non-specific excuse!" He shouts. He then turns to Log Land and begins to walk toward it. "Alright, now we have to be quick-

 **SPLASH!**

Stan doesn't even bother to turn around. He just rubs his face and sighs. "Okay...new plan. I'm going to go find Dipper...and then were getting out of here and cutting the trip short." Stan ignores the girls cries of confusion and unfairness as he searches for his now missing nephew...unsurprisingly he finds him sobbing hysterically over an unconscious, naked Log Land girl.

 **(Mal's Whistle)**

"Oops, clumsy me!" Said Slenderman innocently...

…...

Stan and Dipper were officially freaking out! They'd been driving for a whole day; but all the roads refused to take them back home! Only to Mystery Mountain! Stan groaned. "Sorry kid...but this place was going to be my last stop originally...maybe if we go there we'll be able to get home afterwards?" Theorized Stan hopefully.

Not having a better option, Dipper was forced to agree. " _Okay...think positive Dipper...so you sleep with maybe one more tourist girl?...as bad as that is...I'll never see them again! That's the great thing about roadtrips...right?"_ Rationalizes Dipper frantically.

…...

Mabel was not having a great time. Not only had their fun trip been cut short, but Dipper hadn't moved on yet! It seemed like he hadn't even tried! Well, she'd fix that! She'd- _"Wait...didn't I do something similar like this in a bunker?...and with love potions?...and didn't that end badly?"_ Ponders Mabel thoughtfully...

 **(Mal's Whistle)**

Slenderman chuckles as he pours liquidized Aesop Amnesia onto the oblivious girls head...

…...

 _Wait...what was I thinking about...whatever, never mind. Back to meddling with Dippers love life!_ She then has a long talk with an eager Candy...

…...

"Question. The back seat makes me car sick. Can I sit up front today?" Asks Mabel suddenly. "Also question. I'm the size of two people. Can I have a whole seat to myself?" Asks Grenda quickly.

Stan shrugs and is about to say yes. Before Dipper quickly whispers to him. "Grunkle Stan, don't! That'll put me alone with Candy!" He says frantically.

Stan's eyes widened, but nodded. They couldn't afford to take any chances there! "Sorry Mabel, but no. Dippers staying in the front seat for the rest of the trip." Mabel is about to object- "I know that's not fair, but I promise I'll make it up to you if- When we get home! End of discussion!" Interrupted Stan.

Mabel's eyes narrowed. _We'll see about that..._

…...

"Uh, Mabel? I'm not sure how comfortable I am with this." Admitted Grenda as they broke through the chains of both the RV and a sleeping Dipper(Mabel having drugged his soda).

"Suck it up Grenda! Were making love happen!" Shouted Mabel as they dragged Dipper into a cave where an equally uncomfortable Candy waited, then locked them both in. They then walk back to the parking lot discussing potential baby names for the 'new power couple'.

"Oh! Maybe it'll be something inspired by his pine tree hat!" Shouted Grenda. "I'm sorry did you say Pine Tree hat?" They turned to see a girl walking toward them. "We talking a blue hat, he's about yeah big, shorts and vest?"

"Yeah, that's Dipper!" Says Mabel. "Why, do you know him?" She asks curiously Emma Sue glares down at her now bloated stomach. "Yeah, you could say that." She says darkly. Meanwhile, several other girls with similar 'afflictions'. Overhear the conversation and begin to gather.

…...

Candy looked at Dipper confused as he clawed at the exit and begged her to stay away. Candy stepped forward. "Dipper what's wrong- She stopped talking...The rest...was **silence**...

…...

Mabel looked at the collection of girls horrified. "What!? NO! You have the wrong guy! Dipper would never do that!" "Prove it!". Shouts a girl. Mabel nods. "Fine! I'll take you to him right now to sort this out! There's not a single doubt in my mind he's not the guy your after!" Shouts Mabel sincerely...

…...

"Oh, no! No! NO! NO! NO! NO! What have I done!?" Shouts a horrified, naked Dipper. As he stares down at a naked, unconscious Candy. Dipper backs away in shame, sobbing hysterically. "How am I going to explain this to Mabel!?" He shouts frantically as he turns around-

 **FREEZE!**

And time literally froze. Slenderman looked around. Dipper was about to turn around naked to face a horde of angry woman and one heartbroken Mabel.

 **"Huh, this is a pretty heartbreaking, traumatic moment...I should probably leave well enough alone...NOT!"**

 **(Mal's Whistle)**

Slenderman messes with space-time to not only make past Dippers wang shrink from average to abnormally small...but also makes it so that Dipper never noticed this before until this very moment! Slenderman then laughs maniacally as he shrinks the wangs of a thousand more AU Dippers and pops a 5 year-old Mable's balloon and drinks her ensuing tears...

 **UNFREEZE!**

"D-Dipper?" Asks a sobbing Mabel. "W-why are you naked? W-what did you do to Candy?" A mortified, shamed, and sobbing Dipper just covers himself and stammers as Slenderman laughs unseen at the whole thing...He then turns to the readers.

 **"May all our stories end so well...until next time!"**

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Right so whenever your annoyed at me making Dipper 'small', blame Slenderman! He's responsible!**

… **...Actually...Don't blame him, he'll kill you horribly while you sleep...Better just Flame me, it's safer.**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	55. Ying, Yang, Avatar

**Tales of the falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...Responses...

imperialwar1234: Yeah...this is one of my earlier ideas...I guess I could'a done better...

nightmaster000: All good suggestions, I'll add it to the list

MysterD47: I'll do them both the Monday after next.

...

In the ethereal of the world of the avatar...the spirit that would become Avatar Aang is about to enter the womb of his mother-

 **SLASH!**

Only for it to be destroyed by Slenderman before doing so. It whistles a jolly tune as it opens a bag filled with souls he'd 'borrowed'. He pulls up the souls of two certain twins and stuffs them inside the womb. It then grabs a fleeing Raava-

 **RIP!**

And tore her in two. It then stuffed both halves into each twins. He then hikes up the bag and travels forward in time...

Meanwhile, the air temple monks are baffled by all the numerous hurricanes, earthquakes, and spirits going mad...coinciding with the birth of two seemingly ordinary twins...Their even more baffled that the woman in addition to giving birth to twins...gave birth to a book!?

 **…** **...**

The air temple barber would've torn his own hair out if he had any! No matter how many times he shaved the twins heads, it immediately grew back! It was maddening!...and unnatural...

 **…** **..Over a century later...**

"No! Stop! You can't do this!" Shouted Ozai as he was dragged away by the fire sages. After quickly looking through the strange book that he'd literally had his whole life; Ford then looks toward his elder brother Iroh. "I held up my end of the bargain." He pointed out. Iroh nodded. "I'm a man of my word. For bringing Ozai to justice and preventing Ursa's exile...I'll renounce my claim to the throne."

Iroh would often look back on that night...After losing his son and other brother to the siege; he had no desire to rule. And he couldn't bear the idea of his niece and nephews growing up without a mother. And removing his sociopath of a brother for his more enlightened brother Ford...that had seemed like the perfect plan!

…Yes, he would often look back on that night...and curse himself...

 **…** **...**

"Please! I beg of you my lord! I'll serve you forever! Just give me more Bliss!" Screamed a rabid Hama of the southern water tribe as she bowed before Fire Lord Ford...and she was but one of the many thousands of non-fire benders to come swear their allegiance to him...all in exchange for a fix of the the drug Ford had invented...called 'Bliss'...

 **…** **...**

-It's not "magic" Shouted Katara indignantly. "It's waterbending! And it's- "Yeah, yeah, "an ancient art unique to our culture", blah, blah, blah." Said Sokka dismissively. "Look, I'm just saying- He pauses to wring out his warrior's wolf knot. -that if I had weird powers, I'd keep my weirdness to myself."

Katara glared in disbelief. "You're calling _me_ weird? I'm not the one who makes muscles at myself every time I see my reflection in the water!"

"Guys. Guys Your Both freaks, okay?" Said someone good-naturally behind them. Both of them turned to their elder sibling Wendy. Lazily lounging in the canoe.

The two siblings frowned at this. Wendy had been a subject of controversy from the moment she was born...literally, her Caucasian skin and red hair lead to some nasty rumors and a heated, awkward argument between their parents...before she was even an hour old!

And that hadn't even been the craziest of it!

 **…** **...**

 _Hakoda didn't know what was more horrifying...the charred corpse of his beloved wife...or the charred corpse of her killer...who'd been roasted by his daughter...a fire bender..._

 **…** ** _..._**

Yep, the day they lost their mom...was the same day Wendy realized she was a firebender...by killing the firebender who killed their mom...with fire-bending...

Needless to say...her siblings were very confused on how to feel about her...

Especially when she insisted on continuing to learn it! _I'm not going to look this gift horse in the mouth._ She'd said.

Unlike Katara(who had access to some water bending skills passed from the elders)...Wendy had to self-teach herself from the ground up.

She also had to do it away from the village...for obvious reasons...

 **BOOM!**

YEAH! Screamed Wendy as she blew up yet another iceberg. "I'm so conflicted." Admitted Katara as she watched Wendy 'practice'. "So what else is new?" Thought a terrified Sokka as he can't help but remember all the times his elder sibling scared the misogynism right out of him by threatening to burn his privates-

 **BOOM!**

Yet another iceberg exploded...but this one was different...it GLOWED! From the explosion flew 4 objects through the air-

Wendy's eyes widened as thoughts and feelings that were so alien...yet so familiar, flew through her head-

 **…** **...**

 _"But Dipper, they're so...(holds up corn dog to the end of the sign that says "DELICIOUS")delicious?"_

 **…** ** _..._**

"Katara! Grab them!" Shouts Wendy. Katara, getting over her shock. Improvises some water bending to cushion their fall-

 **SPLASH!**

-Well, except one of them.

Wendy's heart sank as she watched the young, unconscious boy fall into the water-

 **…** **...**

 _"Who wants a lamby, lamby?"_

 **…** ** _..._**

DIPPER! Screamed Wendy as she burst into flames and jumped into the water after him. She didn't know how she knew his name, but right now she didn't care!

The water evaporated around them as she grabbed him and flamed out of there! She put the boy(Dipper?) on the ground...he wasn't breathing! She gave him mouth-to-mouth!

 **…** **...**

 _Lemme tell you something: this summer was SUPER boring until you showed up. I have more fun with you than, like, practically anybody else; and if you ever stopped being my friend, I would, like, throw myself into the Bottomless Pit!_

 **…** **...**

This memory was shared by both Wendy and Dipper as they opened their eyes and into each others eyes while their lips still touched...which felt so right!

And that's when the reality of the situation hit her. _Wait, I just witnessed someone living inside a glowing iceberg, nearly died for someone I didn't know, pulled two crazy fire-bending moves out of my butt that should've deep fried me or whiplashed my bones to bits, and am currently having psychosomatic flashbacks...which means either I died and went to a very weird place...or I'm having a nervous breakdown..._

In either case Wendy made her decision... She carries a semi-conscious Dipper under her arm and turned to her siblings who were taking care of a girl, a Bison, and a book.

"HEY GUYS! I'm either insane or dead! So I'm going to take the first (non-family) boy I've meet that I have a deep connection with; And sleep with him! Don't wait up!"

She shouts as she runs off. Katara nods and turns back to the girl. Only then dose her siblings words actually make it to her head-

 **WAIT, WHAT!?**

 **…** **.Meanwhile, not too far away...**

The child smirked. _Finally, after three years of searching._ It had been three years since their uncle had made all three of them go into self-exile to compete for who would be next in line for the throne...and it would be him! The avatar would be his!

Using the mystic rune stones as his guide, Fire Prince Gideon ordered the ship to set a course for the south pole...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Ford won't be a monster; He'll be a rather benevolent ruler...Who is also a well-intentioned extremist**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	56. Playing with the Big boys now

**Tales of the falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...Responses...

imperialwar1234: Actually, Azula's more 'stable' here- Remember, her mom wasn't banished here -And she and Zuko are currently working together to stop Gideon from becoming Fire lord. Azula is still a sadistic manipulative perfectionist...but at the very least she's sane and worked out her mommy issues. Also, please don't take my lords name in vain. It makes me uncomfortable.

...

Dipper Pines stands before the representatives of Akatsuki; Deidara and Sasori. "Akatsuki! The people of Gravity Falls are weary of your occupation and tyranny! In other words; Let my people GO!"

Sasori and Deidara merely smirk. "Shall we?" Asked Deidara. Sasori merely nods. Deidara snaps his fingers and they both vanish in a puff of smoke...and reappear as strange ever-shifting silhouettes looking down on them...

 **(music starts)**

 **By the power of Akatuski!...  
Black...White...Konan...Preta...  
Kakuzu...Kisame...Sasori...Deidara...  
Hidan...Naraka...Daibutsu...Kyusuke...  
Yahiko...Deva...  
Zetsu...Human...Kie...Itatchi...  
Orochimaru...Nagato...  
Akatuski...Black...White...Preta...  
Kie...Itatchi...Hidan...Naraka...  
Zetsu...Daibutsu...Sasori...Kyusuke...  
Orochimaru...Nagato...Kakuzu...Kisame...Pein!...**

Again; the duo vanished

 **So you think you've got strength in these high places  
With the power to put us on the run**

Asked Sasori as he molded Chakra to shift back and forth from the form of a demonic smog monster

 **Well, forgive us these smiles on our faces**

Said Deidara as he morphed into a giant clay theater mask

 **You'll know what power is when we are done  
Son...**

They both said mockingly as they briefly appeared behind a startled Dipper; only to vanish again

 **You're playing with the big boys now  
Playing with the big boys now**

"Oh, that's pretty." Mocked Deidara with a chuckle

 **Ev'ry spell and gesture  
Tells you who's the best here, **

**You're Playing with the big boys now!**

 **You're playing with the big boys now  
You're playing with the big boys now  
Stop this foolish mission!**

Mocks Sasori as he causes a hovering picture of the resistance to burst into flames with a finger snap

 **Watch a true magician!**

laughed Deidara as he played cards ironically

 **Give an exhibition how!  
Pick up your silly twig, boy**

They both say dismissively to Dippers size-altering flashlight

 **You're playing with the big boys now!**

Akatsuki acolytes crawl from the wood work to add to the chorus

 **By the power of Akatsuki!**

Sasori and Deidara are handed two staffs of power by the acolytes who then swing them around dramatically

 **Black, White, Konan, Preta  
Sasori, Deidara, Hidan, Naraka  
Yahiko, Deva  
Kie, Itatchi, Human, Nagato...**

They crack them together in an amazing explosion!

 **You're playing with the big boys now!**

The dust clears revealing the two now holding writhing, eldritch beasts!

 **You're playing with the big boys now  
By the might of force  
You will kneel before us  
Kneel to our splendorous power...**

They throw the beasts at Dipper, who quickly dodges-

 **You put up a front**

Mocks Deidara

 **You put up a fight**

Mocks Sasori

 **And just to show we feel no spite  
You can be our acolyte!**

 **But first, boy, it's time to bow**  
 **(Bow down!)**

Suddenly; an irresistible force bears down on Dipper, making him fall to his knees

 **Or it's your own grave you'll dig, boy**

Sings the two as they circle Dipper menacingly; their eyes alight with demonic fire

 **You're playing with the big boys now  
Playing with the big boys  
Now! **

**(BOOM)**

As the Akatsuki members basked in the applause of their servants...Dipper wondered what he'd gotten himself into...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: The song is a parody of 'playing with the big boys now' from Prince of Egypt.**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	57. Fall of Foot, Rise of Pine Tree

**Tales of the falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...Responses...

Guest: (shrug) I'm a strong believer in 'earning your happy ending' what can I say? As for the bribing...bare in mind I have 500 stories to juggle, also keep in mind that for every ONE chapter of my challenge you write I will update THREE stories of your choice...your getting the better end of the deal, really. By all means, say I'm wrong.

...

Oroku Saki was dying...

Oh, his few surviving minions would try to have him believe otherwise...but he was no idiot...if not for the life-support...his broken body would've already given out.

 _"What a joke...I who was once the Shredder...Leader of the Foot Clan...Kingpin of the criminal Underworld...Reduced to a mere handful of genin and made to cower in a dilapidated warehouse..."_

Indeed...for this warehouse was literally all he once had of his once great empire...his Kuro Kabuto...his title as Shredder...his followers...his dominion...his Daughter...All ripped from him by that blasted boy-

 _"No...not boy...MAN."_ Admitted Saki to himself reluctantly. And that was the most infuriating bit of this new reality wasn't it? The fact that not only had he been usurped...but that his usurper had proven himself better than him in every way...

He had accomplished things that Saki or any of the Shredders that came before him could only DREAM of! Under his reign, the newly Dubbed 'Pine Tree Clan' had flourished! No longer was it confined to the earth...but in fact stretched across the stars! Entire galaxies bowed to his usurpers...(sigh) Who was he fooling? They bowed to his SUCCESSORS might...

 _"Who would have thought that my downfall...would've come from the most insignificant of actions?..."_

… **.Many years ago...in Gravity Falls Oregon...**

 _Hang in there Mabel! I'll rescue you!_ Thinks Dipper to himself as he roars into the clearing in the golf cart...and finds dead gnomes?

"Huh? Gnomes?...Wow, I was way off." Stated Dipper simply.

"Indeed you were." Stated a dark, menacing voice that sent chills down Dippers spine.

Dipper turned around...and saw something more frightening than any monster...

Standing before him was a man in armor, a man who was practically radiating an atmosphere of despair and suffering...but the worst thing was that stare...that mile long stare of contempt and rage that made Dipper piss himself then and there...

The Shredder sneered at the little boy before him. " _This is my prey? BAH! This scrawny weakling is not fit to even polish my toilet!...Well, no matter. A deals a deal...Soon Splinter will finally fall to my wrath...let's get this over with..."_

"Wh-who are you?" Asked a terrified Dipper. The shredder simply laughed. "A worthless runt like you has no use for a name like mine...simply know that we are going to play a game-

The Shredder paused to draw a line in the dirt with his foot. He then snapped his fingers, signaling two foot soldiers to carry in a bound and gagged Mabel.

"Every minute you don't cross this line, I will remove a body part from your sister."

Both Dipper and Mabel's eyes widened in horror. "Wait, what!? You can't be-

 **SLASH!**

Even with the gag in place, Mabel was still able to let out a horrific wail as the shredder slashed off her eye.

"MABEL!" Screamed Dipper as he ran to save her-

 **SMACK!**

Only to be beaten down by Rahzar and Fishface! "This is the boy? Bah! I've produced bigger things than him by eating fiber!" Mocked Rahzar as he kept on pummeling the Dipper.

Fishface nodded. "I know...hardly satisfying...but broken bones are broken bones I guess!" He stated sadistically as he broke another of Dippers ribs.

Desperately Dipper tried to get up-

 **WHACK!**

Only to get knocked down again...

Dipper tried to crawl to the line-

 **CRACK!**

Only to be quickly dragged back and kicked in the teeth...

It became a game to the two mutants; allowing Dipper to do these things...give him hope...then crush it at the last second...

Dipper didn't know what was the worse...the mind-numbing agony that was spreading throughout his body...or being forced to watch helplessly as bit by bit...his sister was torn apart...

First went her other eye...then her hair got ripped out...then he fingers got broken...then cut off...her teeth pulled out as well...one...by...one...

Rahzar laughed. "What kind of man can't protect his family? Your a disgrace to your gender boy! And I think it's time we make that official-

 **CHOMP!**

Dipper Screamed as the mutant bit his crotch and ripped off his genitals.

Tiger-claw quickly stepped in to cauterize the wound and keep Dipper from dying...then walked away to allow the beating to continue...

…..

When it became dark...Grunkle Stan began to worry...he and his employees went out to search for his niece and nephew...they didn't have to look far...

You never know what to say when you find your brutally beaten and disfigured nephew crying over the mutilated, limbless corpse of your niece...

…..Meanwhile, in New York City...

The Shredder laughed at the glorious performance that had just played out in front of him. It had been a bit of a detour going to that rinky-dink town to shame and traumatize one little nobody...

But that Slenderman had made good on it's promise! Splinter had gone mad! Slaughtering his sons effortlessly...and when he'd had his sanity restored and saw what he'd done...he'd willingly committed senpuku and bleed out...

It had taken many years...but the Hamoto clan had been finally wiped out...and he...The Shredder...stood victorious...

…...

Stan said nothing as he moved his nephews wheelchair up the hill to Mabel's funeral...and wondered how things could have gone so horribly wrong...

On top of losing his sister, use of his legs, his manhood, and having the 'Kanji' of Shame permanently branded onto his face...they'd just gotten word that his parents had died in a car accident...

For the moment it looked like Stan would have to take care of him...at least...try to anyway...

He'd tried to get Dipper to open up...but he just remained silent. He pretty much spent his days reading that weird journal or staring blankly out the window...

After Mabel's remains were committed to the earth. Dipper finally spoke to him to tell him he'd like to stay by her grave awhile by himself. Stan nodded and left...

Now it was just Dipper staring blankly into the abyss where the closest thing he'd ever have to a friend..the one person he could trust...had gone into it forever...

"Ah, my boy. You have suffered so much." Said a voice behind him. Dipper turned to see a bunch of strange men clad in red robes behind him.

"Who are you?" Asked Dipper dully. The man introduced himself as blind-Ivan and explained the purpose of the Blind-Eye Society.

"Ordinarily, we'd do this in out underground lair...but given your current condition- Gestures to the wheelchair -were more then happy to make an exception."

Ivan brought up his memory gun and input 'Mabel pines and the day of her death' into it's console. "Fear not my boy, soon your pain will be gone." He points it at Dipper-

 **BANG!**

Ivan looked at the wound in his body caused by Dipper shooting a gun he'd pilfered from Stan in shock.

"How?-" Gasped Ivan before keeling over. Before the other members can react, Dipper snatches the memory gun from Ivan's corpse, inputs 'Blind Eye Society', and zaps the entire Society!

Before the disoriented members can gain their bearings, Dipper switches to the real gun and kills all but one of them-

 **WHAT'S GOING ON UP THERE!?**

Shouts the familiar voice of Chief Blubs as he, Officer Durland, and Stan run up the hill to investigate the gunshots.

Thinking quickly. Dipper tosses the gun into a confused Toby Determind's hands, hides the memory gun away and punches himself in the groin to get the waterworks flowing.

"Toby!? What are you doing!?" Demanded Blubs.

"Oh Officer! Thank goodness your here!" Sobbed Dipper. This maniac just started shooting people for no reason!" Accused Dipper.

What!? NO! It was that kid!" Pleaded the now fully-awake Toby as he was disarmed and handcuffed.

Blubs rolled his eyes. "Right; the crippled, sobbing, city boy did it...stick to tabloid rags Toby." Said Blubs flatly as he lead Toby away.

Stan just shook his head as he quickly wheeled Dipper away. "Yeesh, this town was always a dump...but it's never been THIS bad...what's going on lately?" He asked to no one in particular.

Dipper said nothing, he simply finished writing a drawing in his journal...a drawing of the man who murdered his sister...before stabbing it through the heart...

And thus...the seeds of the Shredders destruction had been planted...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	58. Bad Begining 7: inspired by GojiraCipher

**Tales of the falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...Responses...

imperialwar1234 : 1. "Take my 'Lord's' name in vain! I meant take my 'Lord's name in vain' Gah! Sorry about that. What is wrong with my typing?...anyway, my lord is God, Jesus and the holy ghost...to everyone else who sees this...BRING ON THE FLAMES I REGRET NOTHING! 2. choose one what?

MysterD47 : Jungle tag and the gumball chapter is up!

...

 **AN: this story was inspired by GojiraCipher. Give HIS stories a read! Their good!**

 **...**

-And so...by ripping off the flesh from my forehead...I HAVE GAINED TRUE VISION! Much like the tuatara and their third eye..." Explains Chris Walker to Mable.

A now very pale Mable quickly drinks some water, then chuckles nervously. "Heh...you don't say...that's...interesting."

Now even Mable would admit that this new-found friendship was 'odd'...especially since it started- of all things -of a shared fondness of pigs...

At first Walker was simply baffled how a 12 year old girl managed to cross Murkoff. And Mable, wanting to be a good roommate- as well as being intimidated by his size and self-mutilated appearance -obliged him with her life story.

When she got to Waddles...Walker jumped right in and began to have a friendly chat with her...even help comfort her when she got to the part about his death...which actually made Mable feel better...although she could've lived without the graphic rants of how he'd dismember the bus company...

As the days passed at Mount Massive Asylum...Mable grew more and more terrified. The place was completely unsanitary- roaches and rats everywhere! And not the fun, singing types either! The guards beat up inmates over the flimsiest of reasons, they made her take pills and shots that made her vision blur and her nose to bleed, and the screams...the screams she heard at night...she was actually thankful the mattress was already soiled...no one could tell the difference...

She was pretty sure that the only reason she hadn't been killed or worse already was because Walker purposely never left her side...for which she was grateful...even if she did still unnerve her a bit...

The only person who'd tried anything was...

...

 _"When I was a boy my mother often said to me: "Get married, son, and see how happy you will be." I have looked all over, but no girlie can I find, who seems to be just like the little girl I have in mind; I will have to look around until the right one I have found."_

 _Sang Eddie Gluskin as he grabbed Mable from behind and tried to rip off her gown-_

 _...It took fifty security guards to keep an enraged Walker from ripping him to pieces..._

...

Since then, Mable refused to leave Walkers side even for a second! What was REALLY horrifying about the whole thing...was that she was fairly certain that Dr. Richard Trager arranged the whole thing!

She overheard one of the guards mention that Eddie was a favorite test subject of Trager who was SUPPOSED to stay locked up in extreme isolation...so how'd he get into her room?

Worse, she also overheard Trager angrily berating the guards...NOT for allowing the incident to happen like you'd think- But rather FAILING to keep Walker distracted elsewhere, the jerk hadn't even given her a replacement hospital gown! She had to wrap the fragments around her nearly naked frame...

Mable was really scared now...and that Father Martin and his creepy ominous chanting with his cult in the next room wasn't helping matters! She didn't know what this 'Walrider' was...but seeing how Walker- the giant man who could rip a man to pieces with his bare hands -looked terrified whenever it was mentioned...No, she had to get out of here...

If she could JUST get a message to out to somebody...She'd have to talk to Walker about it...

...

Jeremy Blaire looked over the dossier. "This is all you could find on her?" He asked annoyed. Ever since they'd been anonymously paid a large sum of money to have a 12 year old girl brought to this hellhole...well, needless to say, it got people curious...

But this Mable Pines...it seemed like she was just a normal nobody, nothing noteworthy about her at all! Of course, The records on her only went to before this Summer where she went to a 'Gravity Falls'...which apparently was a rinky-dink hick town that wasn't even worth putting on the map-

Jeremy Blaire briefly considered looking into this deeper- then dismissed it. _"Bah! What am I thinking? If she wasn't significant the first 12 years of her life...as if three measly months could change that!"_

Still...the fact a person had paid twice his life savings to send her here...AND made friends with fracking 'Strongfat' of all people!...

Jeremy shook his head, he didn't have time for mysteries! He had to finalize preparations for the next phase of the Walrider project! More importantly he needed to win over enough of the board to FINALLY oust Wernicke and take his place as head of the project!

He turned to his only business partner/friend Trager, "Do what you have to do, just get this taken care of." He said in a dismissive fashion. Trager cackled. "With pleasure..."

...

"You truly believe that your family will get you out of here?" Asked Walker skeptically. Mable nodded. "Yes! Dipper only agreed because Mom told him! Plus...I was kinda in a bad place at that point and was a bit apathetic to the whole thing- which probably didn't help- Mable cut her rant short. "But regardless! If Dipper knew what was happening, he'd save me! He always dose! And always will!"

Walker frowned, "Personally he had his doubts about the stories(true, he'd seen some messed up things since he got here...but a giant time-baby? Little people that lived in mini-golf fields? A giant triangle with a top hat? A president who was written out of history for being 'too silly'? Really, who'd take that seriously?)Mable had been telling him- frankly, they made him think that she DID belong in an institute(Preferably one that was NOT controlled by the assholes that ran this joint and could get REAL help).

But regardless, he couldn't bring himself to tell these doubts to the closest thing he had to a friend...and it's not like he had a better idea to get her out of this horrible place-

He quickly looked around to make sure no one was listening. "Alright...you want to get a message out?...it's a bit of a long shot...but I have reason to believe that a software engineer- I think his name is Waylon something -Anyway, I think he's not too thrilled with what's going on here, with a little convincing, I think-

Suddenly, he smelled it- "Mable, don't ask why- but run!" "Wait, what?!" Shouted a suddenly very sleepy Mable.

Walker frantically tried to tear the door down as their room filled with knock-out gas...and he actually succeed! FWAP! FWAP! FWAP! FWAP! FWAP!

...only to be riddled with sleeping-darts by the waiting guards...

...

Mable groaned...she was in a dark room...strapped to a chair...a weird glowing device hovering over her... "W-what is that?" She whimperd.

Tragger's laugh sent chills down her spine. "THAT, is the morphogenic engine...and you and it are about to become VERY good friends..."

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	59. Rise of the Shadowkhan

**Tales of the falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

Dipper Pines looked at the strange book inside then hidden compartment he takes it up. He reads it and is amazed at all that he-

 **"BLAH! BLAH BLAH! Like we haven't already read this scene a hundred times already!"** Snapped a demonic creature that just poofed into existence.

Dipper gaped in horror. The creature wore a business suite, had multiple, long, slender arms, and no face!

The creature(somehow) smirked. **"Let's mix things up!"** He reaches over several universes and snatches an Oni mask from a very surprised Demon sorcerer.

 **"Time for a makeover boy!"** Before Dipper can resist- **SMACK!**

" **GAH!** THE MASK IS EATING MY FACE!" Screams Dipper as the mask dose just that. The creature laughs as Dipper rolls on the ground in agony.

 **"HA! Yes! Succumb to your inner darkness and-** The creature frowned. **"Wait...is that really where I want to go with this? I mean the whole 'fight your inner demons' shtick is great and all...But it's been done to death-**

" **GAH!** WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME!? I COULDN'T BE IN MORE PAIN!"

 **-"And the whole reason I'm doing this in the first place is to avoid cliches"-**

"IT'S IN THE BONE! IT'S IN THE BONE!"

 **-"Not to mention he'll probably go all Emo(shudder) no thank you!"-**

" **GAH!** NO! **GURGLE!** IT'S MAKING ME VOMIT MY OWN BLOOD!"

 **-"Still where dose that leave me then? It's a very interesting plot coupon these "Oni Masks"...be a shame to waste them"-**

" **SMACK!** Why- **CRACK!** -Won't- **WHACK!** -I- **SMACK!** -DIE!?"

 **-"Ah, to blood with it! I'll just do a treasure hunt mixed with an unnatural selection motif! That'll entertain me...for awhile."**

He snaps his fingers and the mask dissolves into Dippers skin turning into a tattoo.

 **"Alright kid, here's the skinny: you have the masks power but none of the 'drawbacks'. And it'll be the same for whatever other plot coupon you find! Since I hate exposition, I'll just insert the info in your "Great Book of Everything" to save us time. Now if you'll excuse me I have 'treasure' to 'hide'."**

And so the creature left as mysteriously as he came...Leaving Dipper huddled in troubled fetal position, sobbing hysterically...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	60. Gravity is Strange

**Tales of the falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

"I can't believe you'd do that to me Robbie! Were through!" Shouts an angry Wendy as she storms out of Robbie's car. An excited Dipper runs after her...neither notice a strange shadow envelop Robbie.

Dipper runs up to Wendy. "Um, hey! Uh, now that your night is free-"

 **IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU, NO ONE CAN!**

Both kids turn around and gasp at the sight of a crazed Robbie holding a gun! Wendy paled. "Whoa! Robbie, what are you-

 **BANG!**

That's all she said...all she'd ever say again...the bullet to her brain took care of that.

Dipper lost sight of anything, he didn't see the shadow leaving Robbie, he didn't see Robbie cry out in horror over what he'd just done, he didn't see Grunkle Stan tackle him in rage...all he saw was the girl he loved...lost to him forever...

Suddenly he felt something in his hand, he looked down and saw a picture of Wendy...just moments ago...so beautiful, so amazing, so full of life and potential...

it was too much for Dipper. He fell to his knees and screamed to the heavens-

And just like that...everything changed...

Dipper was standing up again, Robbie was back to screaming like a maniac...but more importantly; Wendy was still alive...

Dipper didn't know what was happening and he didn't care! He just let the reflexes he'd polished up the last several life-or-death situations take over-

 **BANG!**

Dipper felt an exploding pain in his shoulder as he pushed Wendy out of the way...then he heard screams...then he knew nothing...

…...

Invisible to all **Slenderman** watched as Dipper got taken away in an ambulance, and his unwitting pawn was arrested. During the commotion he steals back the picture he gave Dipper.

He watches as it begins to snow... " **5 days Dipper...5 days to save everyone..."** He says as he sets fire to the photo; thus permanently 'Time-Locking ' Wendy's survival and making it impossible for ANYONE to change it back.

" **Can't fight fate."** Scoffs Slenderman as he walks away. **"Dumbest way to end a video game or cartoon episode ever..."**

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	61. Outlast Falls

**Tales of the falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...Responses...

RasenganFin: Sure, why not? Bottom line: There's NO 'let Wendy die' option, either Dipper saves BOTH Town and Wendy or they ALL die

MysterD47: 1. thank you, no I have one more part to it. 2...dang it, forgot about that...bear in mind it was night when I did this...I think...and I may not have been coherent...eh, I'll fix it if I ever update it I guess... Also, thank you

...

 **(Sounds of random power tools)**

Out from the bunker, emerged a dark figure. **That should do it! Everything crossed over nicely! Just one last thing to do...and will be ready for the main event!...**

…...

 **(Mal's whistle)**

The dark figure whistled as it invisibly traveled across the slumbering town of Gravity Falls, delivering the 'good' news...

…...

"Hey Dipper, what's a performance review?" Asked Mabel as they walked over to the tree where Dipper first found the journal.

Dipper gives her a weird look. "Uh...well it usually means that the boss is about to test their employees. Check to see if there being efficient and are still good employees, stuff like that...why do you ask?"

Mabel looked at him confused...then shrugged. "Oh, nothing. Me and Soos got these weird letters in the mail...but I guess they were just a prank." She stated dismissively as she tossed aside the letter without a second thought...

…...

Things were going rather well..they'd found the authors bunker...they nearly got killed in a death trap...and then Mabel gets the bright idea to lock Dipper and Wendy in a locker...

"I'm not letting you out until you tell Wendy what you've been meaning to tell her!"

"Right, let me stop you right there. I think I've seen enough." States a disappointed voice behind them.

Everyone turns around and is surprised to see...a very ordinary businessmen scribbling notes into a data sheet?

"Uh...can I help you?" Asked a confused Mabel.

The man shook his head. "No, I think you've 'helped' enough." He shook his head as he scribble more notes while talking out loud and walking circles around her.

"-Mabel Pines appears very ungrateful. Despite everything her brother has sacrificed for her, and despite knowing full well all the hardship he's already faced this summer- She's still willing to disobey his simple request of staying out of his personal affairs. All signs point to her being a hostile work environment instigator. STRIKE 1."

"Wait, who are you?" Asked Mabel confused. The man ignored her as he scribbled more things as he walked over to the locker where an equally confused Wendy and Dipper also watched.

He taps the locker with his pen then gives it a light kick...then shakes his head as he continues writing. "Mabel Pines shows willful ignorance of #1 horror movie cliche of 'separating the party'...this shows either willful desire to see harm befall her fellow coworkers...or simple incompetence. Either way, she clearly lacks a good team-work ethic. STRIKE 2."

"Wait, what? Good team-whosiwhatsits?" Asked a baffled Mabel.

The man again ignored the question...but surprisingly then turned to address Mabel.

"And finally my dear; if the fact that your in an underground, creepy bunker in the dead center of this weird suburbia wasn't enough of a tip-off that the time wasn't appropriate for your 'shenanigans'...THAN THE SCREAMING METAL DEATH TRAP THAT NEARLY KILLED ALL OF YOU NOT MORE THAN 5 MINUTES AGO SHOULD HAVE BEEN. Strike 3. And your done." He stated flatly.

He then turns to Soos. "As for you sir." He then shrugs. "Well, let's be honest. Mabel is more or less the spokesperson for all things 'light and softer' in this show-

"Show?" Asked a confused Soos.

-So it just doesn't make much fiscal sense to remove her, but not a secondary character like you you...Best just to start fresh really."

"Seriously, what's happening here?" Asked a confused Mabel.

"What's 'happening' is that were going to have to let you two go." States the man simply as he gives the two of them pink slips.

"Were...fired?" Stated the now even more confused Mabel.

The man nods solemnly. "You should in no way take this as a slight against your capabilities, were simply going a different direction."

He then waves a hand dismissively. "Another cast-member will escort you out shortly as well as give you your severance package. Have a good and productive life." States the man as he walks away.

"Wait, I don't understand. What are we being fired from?" Asked Mabel.

The man looked back at them in surprise. "Was it not obvious?"

 **CRASH!**

An entire wall explodes! Revealing a giant of a man! He roars.

-your fired from life." States Slenderman wickedly as his human disguise melts away...

The last thing Mabel ever saw was Soos being lifted up in the air screaming, and used to smash her into the ground...Dipper's screams ringing in her ears...and the rest...was darkness...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: if it wasn't clear Slenderman tore Mount Massive Asylum from it's universe and fused it with the Bunker...also Mabel is dead...yes, you may flame when ready...**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	62. In Storybrook, Gravity sends for you!

**Tales of the falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

It was nighttime in Storybrook, and all through the town...not a creature was stirring...except Mabel. On top of the clock tower, Mabel kept a vigil through her binoculars.

 _Everything is all wrong..._ Thought a depressed Mabel as she looked toward the Mystery Shack. And watched as Stanley Pines (AKA the Dark One) helped Soos(AKA Tiny the Giant) close down their Tourist trap for the day.

She turned and watch Granny and her granddaughter Wendy(AKA Her future Big Sister in-law) got into another fight. The fighting stopped when...HE showed up.

Mabel glared as Preston Northwest(AKA King George); the man who owned most of the town AND all around jerk.

He demanded Granny give him her rent. She obliges and gives him a large stack of bills...only for him to sneeze and blow his nose into it! He then drops the solid wad of cash on the floor right in front of an outraged Granny. The dollars were then-

Mabel felt her heartache; as she watched her brother Dipper, dressed as a butler stab the wad of bills with a trash picker to put the wad of bills into a tote bag...before dusting the ground in front of Preston...it was all coming back to her...

" _Mrs. Mabel I've warned you constantly about harassing me...please don't make me fetch Sheriff Robbie again."_

" _But Dipper! It's me! Your Sister Mabel! Don't you recognize me?"_

 _Dipper rolled his eyes. "Oh yes, the twins sister I had in an alternate, fairytale world. Before we got sent through time and space, turning us into part of the newly born triplets of the 'savior'. Right, how could I_ forget?" _He said sarcastically as he shook his head. "My dear...get help." He turns and leaves the poor girl crying..._

Mabel brushed the tears from her eyes. She turned the binoculars to somewhere else...and immediately regretted it...

For now Jefferson was in her sight(AKA the mad hatter...who was also her adopted father...who no longer remembered her...)

Mabel let the binoculars drop to the ground...and she flops to the ground in tears shortly after it. _Henry...you have to bring our mom here...I-I can't take this much longer..._

…...

Meanwhile, Henry is riding into Manhattan on a bus. _Don't worry Mabel. Operation: Cobra is a go!_

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	63. Not so little problem 3

**Tales of the falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...Responses...

MysterD47: Good, will do it the week after next...just so you know...if you want me to update the streaking curse, that will also cost a picture.

imperialwar1234: Okay...what are the ideas?

Guest: What?

...

Grunkle Stan looked at his nieces miserable condition...After Dipper vanished...she just feel into a depressed slump..she wouldn't leave her room...she wouldn't eat or drink...eventually Stan had no choice but to take her to the hospital to medically force-feed her nutrients...She was a wreck...

 _A week...he's been gone a whole week_...thinks a depressed Mabel to herself... No one had seen Dipper for a week now...

Mabel was in tears..." _I can't believe it...Dippers gone?...Is he hurt? Is he dead? Wh_ at _happened to you Dipper...please come back to me...I miss my Dipping Sauce!"_

Without realizing it...Mabel started to sing...

 **I can barely stand right now.  
Everything is crashing down,  
And I wonder where you are...**

Mabel reaches out of her hospital bed to pet her pig...

 **I try to find the words to say.  
I don't always know the way,  
But you're the one that can hear my heart...**

Mabel brings out a picture of their childhood...happier..simpler times..

 **Even though I don't always know what your plan is,  
I know you make me feel beautiful from these ashes.**

An invisible Slenderman rolled his eye from nearby. " _You can't blind yourself from the ashes of the world forever girl...no one can..."_

 **together we've seen joy and we've seen pain**

 **On my knees, I call your name.  
Here's my broken hallelujah.**

 _"True...you have seen both...the difference is..you run from pain...Dipper dose not...WILL not...to protect you..."_

 **With nothing left to hold onto,  
I raise these empty hands to you.  
Here's my broken, here's my broken, Hallelujah**

Mabel sighed as you looks through more pictures of her and Dipper being young, naive, and innocent...and wondering why things weren't like that anymore...

 _"Because your growing up, you stupid girl!"_ Snapped Slenderman silently as he read the girls thoughts.

 **You know the things that have brought me here.  
You know the story of my every tear.  
'Cause you've been here from the very start.**

Mabel flips her scrap book to the ultrasound picture of her and Dipper inside their mothers stomach...

 **Even though I don't always know what your plan is,  
I know you make me beautiful from these ashes.**

 _"That's all well in good when your kids...but what about when Dipper wants to have a family of his own? Or after he dies?"_

 **We've seen joy and we've seen pain.  
On my knees, I call your name.  
Here's my broken Hallelujah.**

 _"I'm just saying...if you lapse into depression like this whenever you 'lose' someone important to you...I can't be the only one who sees how unhealthy that is..."_

 **With nothing left to hold onto,  
I raise these empty hands to you.  
Here's my broken, here's my broken,  
Hallelujah  
(Here's my broken)  
Hallelujah**

Mabel sighs as the nurse takes away her bedpan...

 **When all is taken away, you won't let my heart be changed.  
You always let me sing Hallelujah  
when I feel afraid, you never let my hope be erased  
You always let me sing (let me sing),  
Let my always sing,  
Hallelujah  
(Let my always sing)  
Hallelujah  
(Let my always sing)  
Hallelujah**

 _"Translation: You shield me from hardship; so I never have to deal with my own problems and mature..."_

 **Here's my broken,  
Here's my broken,  
Hallelujah**

Mabel tappers off and falls asleep as the doctor injects her with more I.V. nutrients...

 _"Sweet dreams you little Co-Dependent..."_ Thinks Slenderman as he leaves unseen...

 **…** **..**

"Alright; everyone got their assigned areas? Good! Search parties go!" Shouts Stan as he and numerous volunteers fan out to search the woods for Dipper...

One volunteer...made sure she was separate from the others...

Wendy Corduroy was conflicted...call it what you will...a catch-22...being cruel to be kind...robbing Peter to pay Paul...she was right smack dab in the middle of it...

On the one hand...she hated seeing Mabel like this...on the other hand...bringing Dipper back would just be enabling a self-destructive pattern of behavior that would inevitably not only hurt herself...but Dipper as well!

Add Dippers current animosity toward his family and...her current situation...it was all a hopeless tangled mess!

 _"And to think a week ago my biggest concern was my increasingly jerkass boyfriend..."_ Thinks Wendy sardonically to herself as she discretely heads for the bunker...

 **…** **..**

 **"Shoot! I knew I forgot something!"** Shouts Slenderman as he rewinds time to show the reader the events of a week ago...

 **…** **ONE WEEK AGO...**

It was a curious and flustered Wendy who followed the instructions on the letter she received with the candy and flowers to the weird looking tree. Using her Lumberjack skills, she quickly went into the Bunker...where Dipper was waiting...and something else...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **The song is a parody of "Broken Hallelujah" by The Afters**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	64. Resident falls

**Tales of the falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...Responses...

imperialwar1234: Okay look, yes you can PM me(it's a free country)...but I REALLY wish you would just put the ideas on the review...I've lost several ideas in the back-log of PM's I get...and it's just easier to keep track of them in review form(also, to everyone else reading this: SORRY to everyone who's ideas I've lost!...please just put your ideas in a review(I know it's a free country, but it would REALLY help me out)

MysterD4: sorry to answer your question with a question...but why are you putting a 'Star vs the forces of loud' review here instead of on the actual 'Star vs. the force of loud' story? Also, to answer your question...eh, it's mainly the 'brawl in the family' episode(an argument could be made for the 'no such luck' episode to a lesser extent)...it's message completely contradicts to lesson of the earlier episode 'space invaders'...the rest is mostly basic, little background cartoon-ish stuff. Dose that make more sense

...

Stanford Pines was ecstatic! In a couple of days he'd be at his dream college...he was a little sad he wouldn't see Stanley anymore...but he was certain they could make it work-

Suddenly, his Father Filbrick entered the room. "Son, you'll never guess what just happened! Your older brother Albert has come home! More importantly, he's brought someone who can make our family a lot of money!"

Ford looked at him confused as he followed. He barely remembered Albert...he'd been 10 when he went off to work for the military...and before that he'd mainly kept to himself...Still, might be nice to see him again after all these years...

…...

"THE ANSWER IS NO!" Shouts an outraged Ford toward Oswell E. Spencer. Albert had apparently used his contacts in the military to arrange a meeting with a big-wig from a arms manufacture/pharmaceutical company named Umbrella(honestly, what kind of name was that for a company?).

Apparently they'd been hoping that he'd sell his perpetual motion invention to them so they could use it for military purposes(that'll be a cold day in hell if he had anything to say about it).

Fibrick looked at him shocked. "Son, be reasonable! Their offering a million dollars! We-

"That's quite alright dad. If Ford doesn't want to sell his invention, we should respect that." Said Albert suddenly much to everyone's surprise.

Ford is first to recover. He thanks Albert for sticking up for him and leaves. Filbrick glares at Albert. "What are you playing at son?"

Albert sighed. "I'm 'playing at' making us rich. You can attract more flies with honey, than vinegar you know." He explains to his dad.

Filbrick merely looks baffled. "What are you talking about?" He asks confused.

Albert smirks. "Let me answer your question with a question: Which is more important: Money, or your sons-

"Money." Interrupted Filbrick flatly. Albert chuckled. "Right, ask a stupid question." He states amused.

…...

Ford couldn't believe it...All his hopes and dreams...ruined. "How could this have happened!? It was working yesterday!" Exclaimed Ford out loud.

Albert just shook his head distraught. "I don't know brother...it's all so terrible." He then spots something. "What's this?" He asks as he picks a discarded bag of Toffee Peanut bag. "Isn't this Stanley's favorite snack food?"

Ford snatches it up, examines it, and growls. "Now, brother. Calm yourself. Let's not jump to conclusions, I'm sure Stanley can explain this." Reassures Albert, ever the mediator.

"He dame well better!" Snaps Ford as he storms off. After Ford is gone, Albert smiles. He reaches into Fords machine and easily fixes the problem. " _Poor, predictable, foolish Stanley...You will be missed..."_

… _..._

It should come to no one's surprise that after Stanley was kicked out of the house...Ford was in a bad mood...his mood didn't improve when Albert ran into his room telling him that their father had gone behind his back and sold his perpetual motion prototype to Umbrella.

The following fight between the two brothers and their dad...and their being kicked out of the house...Also didn't lift Stanfords spirits.

Thankfully, Albert had made some wise investments, a fair share of contacts. He says he should have enough to support them and get him through college(a third rate community college, but still better than nothing).

Ford smiles...it was nice to have at least one family member who wasn't selfish and was willing to help others...

…...

After calling his father to both thank him for his 'performance' and reassure him that his half of the money would be along shortly.

He then makes another call. "Project: Goldengoose is a go...my brother has already invented a light bulb that will both never burn out and make your skin softer, I'll send the design to you soon. As for my father...he's a liability...so make it look like an accident..."

…...

"So these 'transistors' will allow all people to have 'personal computers' you say?" Asks Albert to Ford's roommate at Backupsmore. Fiddleford smiled. "Yep! I also have digital blueprints for something to hook them all up together collectively...I call it the internet!"

Wesker smirked. "How ambitious...I must say I'm very glad that my brother introduced us." "As am I!" Says Fiddleford eagerly.

"Yes, well you look tired my friend. Why don't you go downstairs and buy yourself a Fizzypop and slice of pizza. On me." Said Albert reassuringly as he gave him some money. Fiddleford thanked him and left to do just that...which gave Albert the opportunity he needed to copy all of his research and schematics...

…...

For the first time in his life, Albert was speechless. When Ford wanted to come to Gravity Falls to study 'anomalies'. He'd humored him and came with him mainly because he didn't want to lose control of his 'Golden Goose'.

And yet here he was. Standing before a caged shape-shifting monster. Quickly getting over his shock, he made sure to steal a blood sample when Ford wasn't looking and send it to Umbrella. " _Well, as amazing as this was...it wouldn't surprise me if this was just once in a lifetime fluke-_

…...

 _-I've never been more happy to be proven wrong."_ Thought Albert from inside the bowels of a giant alien spaceship...

…...

"Extraordinary, isn't it?" Comments Ford as the lights of the crystal alter the size of everything that got too close. "Indeed." Said Albert sincerely while he secretly pocketed some samples...

…...

-"Fascinating, what did you say your name was?" Asked Ford to the gnome. "Schmebulock... Senior." Stated the gnome gruffly.

Stan nodded. "Well, I think I'm finished here." He turns to Albert. "Hey Albert I need to check on another experiment. Would you mind releasing Schmebulock back into the wild for me?"

Albert smirked. "Not at all brother." Ford thanked him and left. The moment he was gone, Albert threw Schmebulock into a dog-carrier and shipped him off to Umbrella...

…...

Albert creeped into Fords room and quickly copied all the information concerning the body-switching rug, cloning copy machine and anything else he and Fiddelford had been working on since the last time he'd done this...last week...

…...

With Ford out of town, now was his chance! Thought Albert to himself as he picks the lock on Ford's 'secret' room. Silently he opens the door and enters. "Hello, what have we here?" Asked Albert aloud as he beheld a strange painting of a triangle creature in a top hat...

…...

"I'm sorry that things didn't work out between you and my brother." Said Albert reassuringly. "For what it's worth, I agree with you. That portal is far too dangerous."

Fiddelford smiled appreciatively. "Thank you Albert...Do you think you can talk sense into him?" He implored.

Albert sighed. "I'll do my best, but don't hold your breath...you know how stubborn he can get." To do this Fiddelford could only give a resigned nod.

"Despite this unpleasantness, I hope you and I can still be friends." Asked Albert. Fiddelford smiled. "Oh, of course! Those psychological tricks you've been teaching me have really helped my night-terrors! Thanks again for that!"

 _"No, thank_ _ **you**_ _for all that delightful information about Bill that was buried in your subconscious."_ Thought Albert with a smirk.

"But despite all your help...the memories of that 'incident' still haunt me...which is why I invented this!" Shouts Fiddelford excitedly as he whips out a strange gun. Albert quirks his eye with interest.

…...

"Relocating me to where my talents will do the most good for the company? Bah! Sugarcoat it however you want! Exile is still exile!" Shouts a furious James Marcus. "This is Spencer's doing! With Ashford dead, he sees his chance to take over!"

Albert nodded. "I quite agree...unfortunately all the older executives seem to back him...The younger executives on the other hand...I think under the right circumstances they could be turned."

Marcus looks at him curiously. "How do you mean?" Albert smiles as he explains his idea...

…...

"The Umbrella Executive Training Center?" Asks Spencer skeptically. Albert nods. "Marcus claims that it's purpose is to 'train researchers as prospective executive officers to become the next generation of the company's management.'"

Spencer growls. "Which is just a fancy way of saying he'll brainwash all the newblood and turn them against me!" Albert again nods. "It seems so, I'm afraid." He concedes.

Spencer begins to pace back and forth nervously. "It seems like your idea to 'relocate' him was a blessing in disguise! I currently can't do anything against him directly; according to the reports you've given me. The board is clearly leaning on his side...But I can still send a representative to keep and eye on things!"

He turns to Albert. "Albert, old buddy...will you help me?" Albert smirks. "Anything for an old friend..."

…...

 **SNAP!**

Albert sighed as he snapped Fiddelfords neck. " _What a waist."_ He thought to himself. He quickly goes around and euthanize all of Fiddelfords 'Blind-eye's'...or what's left of them anyway.

Apparently, Fiddelford got wise to the experiments he was secretly doing to him and his comrades, he tried to lead a revolt...which of course failed miserably.

Unfortunately, Fiddelford was able to get one shot off from his Memory-gun...Now he remembered nothing of the portal or the journals!

This was...annoying. Ford was becoming increasing erratic and unreliable...he'd hidden two of the journals(he no longer remembered where); and the one he had left had a bio-lock that would allow only him access!

This was unacceptable! Many of his plans were now in jeopardy unless he at least gained access to the journal that Ford still had!

But how to get it? Ford was listening to him less and less(Ford still considered him his only true family(except possibly Shermy), but he was no long his confidant)! He could just take it...but that would turn Ford against him! Which would be bad long-term in case he ever needed him again...especially for anything concerning a certain dream demon. So where did that leave him?

Suddenly he smirks. " _Perhaps it's time to convince Ford to have a family reunion..."_ Thinks Albert as he brings up a picture of Stanley...

…...

Stanley looked up in horror at the portal where his brother disappeared from this world.

He hears a noise behind him. He turns around to see Albert. "Stanley, what have you done!?" Demanded an angry Albert.

"It was an accident!" Exclaimed a tearful Stanley. "Please Albert! Help me bring him back! I'll do anything!" Albert quirked his eyebrow. "Anything?" He asks in the most apathetic way possible...

…...

"Uh, explain to me what your doing again?" Asked Stanley from inside the machine. "Using your twin D.N.A. I should be able use the machine to fool the Bio-lock on the journal to allow you access." Stated Albert simply.

"Right...okay...and then we fix the portal?" Asked Stanley hopefully. Albert laughed. "Oh good heavens no! Putting aside the fact that the portal is a death trap waiting to happen...were missing 2/3rd's of the schematic!"

Albert shook his head. "Oh, no we'll be using a safer...if more unorthodox way of bringing him home safety. That's depicted in full-detail in this one journal."

He turns to Stanley. "Of course, it might require a small sacrifice on your part." He admitted.

Stanley just glares. "As long as it brings back Ford... bring it on!" He snaps. Albert laughs. "That's the spirit"...

…... **30 years later...**

"Ah, summer time comes...and with it my beloved great niece and nephew! Won't that be fun Stanley?" He asks the bloated, deformed, incapacitated, abomination that had once been Stanley Pines.

"It's all lead up to this...I have big plans for this summer!...We'll, best be getting ready to welcome them...so long Stanley!"...

…...

Deep inside Stanley's mind; the now powerless and incapacitated Bill Cipher glares. "I'm going to rip that guy from here to kingdom-come!"

"Yeah, well get in line!" Snaps an equally incapacitated and pissed Stanley...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	65. Bad Begining 8: inspired by GojiraCipher

**Tales of the falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...Responses...

MysterD47: fair enough

imperialwar1234 : thank you

 **AN: This story was inspired by GojiraCipher. Give HIS stories a read! Their good!**

...

After Pacifica calmed down, the mini-Dipper explained that he used to be clone 3...

"It's weird...one minute me and 4 were wearing rain ponchos and relaxing in the forest...next thing you know were nabbed by a shadow...and I wake up with ALL of Dipper's memories up until he leaves Gravity Falls on the bus...oh, and now I'm a doll!"

"You sure are!" Shouts Candy as he snatches him. "Let's make him smash rocks!" Shouts Grenda! "No! Let's give him a makeover!" Declared Candy excitedly.

"Pacifica! Somebody! Anybody! Help!" Pacifica quickly helps him...but then notices a piece of paper that had been lying under Dipper...

"Hey...what's this?" She picks it up and reads it:

 **HEY GIRL! Want to prove to everyone your a good person?**

 **Then take a quest!**

 **Save the children!**

 **All it costs is a kiss!**

Pacifica gaped in horror as pictures of all the students being captured and sold were vomited from the piece of paper...

Candy sighed. "Well...that's one way to start a quest." She admitted horrified. Pacifica meanwhile was focused on the 'kiss' line. She quickly turned to Dipper.

"Uh..to be clear- I'm just doing this to save people!" She said a flustered and mortified way. Dipper looked up to her confused. "What are you- He's silenced when her lips hit his mouth-

 **SQUEAL!**

Candy and Grenda shriek in delight-

 **GLOW!**

And then they gasp in surprise!

Dipper and Pacifica glow! And switch! "GAH! OH, MY BLOOD! OH, MY BLOOD! WHAT HAPPENED TO ME!? I'M TINY!" Screamed the now doll-like Pacifica.

A now fully human Dipper just looked at his hands in amazement, "Wow Pacifica! How'd you know that would work?"

Pacifica flustered and chuckled nervously. "Heh, heh...you know...just an educated guess." She quickly lied. There was no way in the inferno she'd ever admit that she had no idea that would work and had mainly been using the situation to make out with Dipper without consequence.

Speaking of Dipper...

Pacifica giggled. "Huh, gee Dipper. Looks like not every part of you stopped being doll-sized." she playfully teased.

Dipper frowned, "What are you- He then turned bright red- HE WAS NAKED!

"GAH!" Cried out Dipper as he covered his crotch from the now giggling girls. "Aw Dipper- Don't hide it, it's 'cute'." Teased Candy further.

"Shouldn't we be saving the kids!?" Shouted Dipper annoyed. Sure enough, the kiss hadn't just changed them...it also changed the note to four tickets to the local train station.

Dipper groaned. "I don't like this...but if we want to save those kids, we'll have to play along...for now. I'll just get some clothes and we'll go-

"NOPE! No time!" Shouted the girls as the grabbed him.

Dipper looked at them confused and flustered. "What- of course there's time! The train won't leave for an hour! It says so on the ticket!"

"NO TIME!" Insisted the girls as they dragged him away-

"There is literally a clothing store in the middle of the woods, RIGHT THERE!" Shouted Dipper desperate and mortified as the girls weren't even letting him cover himself!

"NO TIME!" Again insists the gleefully perverse girls...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	66. The Bloody Eye Society

**Tales of the falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

Deep inside his apartment, Fiddleford Mcgucket exclaimed triumphantly as he finished his invention! "Yes! Finally! My nightmare will end!" Shouts Mcgucket as he lifts up his memory gun happily. He quickly programs the gun to target his memories about the portal and lifts it to his head and fires-

 **SLORP!**

Only to be possessed by Slenderman the next instant- Slenderman laughed as he tested out his new meat puppet. **"Time to party!"**

...Several hours later...

Mcgucket groans as he gets up. "W-what happened?" He asked drowsily. He remembered zapping himself with the gun...then nothing...

He went to a mirror and looked at himself...he looked terrible! His eyes were bloodshot and...wait, it wasn't just his eyes! Now fully awake, Mcgucket realizes he was covered in blood!

Mcgucket's blood went cold. He turned around...and screamed! The room was covered in blood!...but that wasn't what made him scream...for in the middle of it all...was the mutilated corpses of his wife and child!

He ran to them and hugged their bodies as he wept...and then he saw something that turned his despair to wrath...written in blood on the wall was this:

 **Hey glasses! Thanks for using that device to erase your memory!**

 **It was just the distraction I needed To posses your body and use it to murder your loved ones!**

 **They died cursing your name by the way, anyway enjoy life!**

Mcgucket snarled as he picked up the memory gun. "This is all your fault!" He screamed as he threw it against the wall, shattering it.

Mcgucket then reverted back to despair. "Oh, who am I kidding? This is all my fault! I was a fool to think I could just run away from this! It's too big! And because I tried to take the cowards way out...my family is dead..."

Once more Mcguckets Despair was replaced...not by rage...but bitter, gritty determination.

"Well no more! I'm not running away any longer! As God as my witness, no one will suffer like I have ever again!"

He turned around and once more saw his reflection. "To all things supernatural...I'll beat them until their eyes are as bloody as mine!" _Huh...'Bloody Eyes'...don't know why...but that word appeals to me..._ Thought Mcgucket to himself as he planned his future...and changed the world...

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Yes, I know Mcgucket made the gun BEFORE the portal incident. Just roll with me!**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	67. Mabel gets weird

Tales of the falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

Mabel groaned. Stan was winning money on Cash Wheel like crazy! And she...she had nothing to show for her troubles! Stan was going to win! She needed a gimmick, a new attraction! Her mind raced frantically. What was something weird and unusual that people would spend big money to see?

Suddenly her mind presented a memory of something she saw; back when she was only one years old...and when she accidentally saw it again several months ago. Mabel paused only long enough to vomit in a trashcan; before running off to make preparations.

…...

Dipper whistled a tune as he went about his day-

 **SPLASH!**

Dipper shouted out in indignation as he was covered in chocolate sauce. "Sorry Dipper!" Shouted Mabel. "I'll go get a towel!" She runs off before Dipper can say anything. He then tries to wipe off some of the sauce himself-

 **CRASH!**

"Oh no! I accidentally knocked over the fire ant farm!" Shouts Mabel. "FIRE ANTS!?" Shouts Dipper horrified. He looks around and sure enough they're already swarming onto him! In a fit of panic Dipper quickly ditches all of his clothes!

Pausing only long enough to vomit at the sight of her brother, she then grabs the Journal. "Don't worry! I'll use a cleaning spell!"

 **ZAP!**

Suddenly Dipper fell on the floor and burst out Laughing! "Mabel!(snort) That was a tickling spell!(HA!)"

"SORRY!" Shouts Mabel. Then she dramatically turns her head around. "OH NO! I HEAR PEOPLE COMING!"

She runs to Dipper grabs his arm and tosses him into a nearby vault. "Wait in here until the coast is clear!" She shouts as she locks the door before he can protest. Dipper struggles between laughing and shivering, this vault is so cold! With nothing else to do Dipper just looks into the mirror inside the vault...

…...

"STEP RIGHT UP! TAKE A GANDER AT THE WORLDS SMALLEST GENITALS!" Shouts Mabel as she directs people to the soundproof vault with a one-way mirror on the back.

Where between the cold and tickling an oblivious Dippers genitals had become even more impossibly small then they already were...

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	68. Fallout Falls

**Tales of the falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

Dipper was ecstatic as he used his Pip-Boy 3000 to reactivate the vault portal relay inside this vault. He looks around at all the amazing technology! New guns! New power armor! S.P.E.C.I.A.L. Elixirs! Locksmith's Reader Digest!

Dipper could hardly believe that it had only been a month since he accidentally stumbled upon this vault and learned about the 'world that came before'...it took awhile to open it up...even longer to not get eaten by a monster that was hiding out in here...thankfully it was more interested in the outside world and left.

Dipper had been spending all of his free time restoring the vault back to it's former glory. His family was too busy...well he didn't know what they were doing, and to be honest he couldn't care less! This place was shaping up to be an awesome hideout! Hmmm...maybe he could impress girls with-

DIPPER!

Dipper wheels around and sees weeping, terrified Mabel running into the Vault and towards him. She tried to catch her breath. "(pant) saw you coming here one day(wheeze) thought it be where you'd be(gasp) need to go now!"

"Whoa, slow down Mabel! What's going on!?"

And it's to Dipper's horror that he learns that his family had been 'busy' the last couple of weeks, alright...busy watching the world fall apart!

Apparently, a strange epidemic had sweeped across the world the last couple of weeks. Killing 50% of the worlds population...turning 40% into monsters...leaving only 10% unharmed.

Fortunately, their mom seemed to have been part of that 10% and apparently passed her immunity onto them...UNfortunately, their dad was part of the monsterfied 40%...Long story short: Mom had a gun, dad had claws...now they were down two parents...and a house!

A horrified Dipper spent the night and the next several nights after that comforting her...It was probably just as well that they never found out that the mutant Dipper unintentionally freed was the one that introduced the plague to the world...In her current state of mind...she might have actually killed Dipper!

…...

After awhile, they ran out of food and had to leave. Dipper would have liked to have used the portal, but it could only be used to teleport to another active vault portal; of which there were none.

And since this particular tech was only known to the vaults 'Overseer', there were few records about it. Thus Dipper didn't feel confident enough to try anything to risky with it...yet.

So, they headed off. Fortunately, before their parents...left. They revealed to Mabel that they had a relative in Gravity Falls. A very isolated town that might allow them to safely allow them to ride out this calamity.

Surprisingly, they got there with little incident...Although the slightly bigger scorpions and Jackson Chameleon's that now seemed to be everywhere seemed to be stalking them...

In any case; when they got near the town Dipper's Pip-boy went crazy! "Wow! This amazing! There's like several dozen vault signatures at least in this area! We should-

 **NO!**

Shouts Mabel as he smacks him with a newspaper. "Bad Dipper!" She shouts while also spraying him with water. Dipper sighs but relents...

Also surprising was that the town seemed completely unaware of what was happening in the outside world. Due to their isolation, they had a local power plant and other essential municipal departments. The lack of news was nothing new and was apparently waved off as a server or satellite issue.

Having put it off long enough, the twins march to their uncles shack and ring the doorbell. Their uncle opens the door and looks at them surprised. "What are you kids doing here? Your not supposed to be here until summer!" He chuckles. "What, your parents kick you out early?" He teases playfully. To this Dipper and Mabel could only burst into tears and hug their now alarmed uncle.

…A couple weeks later...

"Wendy, right?" Wendy looks up from her magazine and sees Stan's niece. She smiles. "Yeah, that's my name. Don't wear it out." She says with a chuckle.

Mabel sighs. "Right...look, I won't beat around the bush...what will it take to get you to seduce and sleep with my brother? Also will you accept squirrels as a payment?"

Wendy just stares at her in disbelief...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	69. Rise of the Shadowkhan 2

**Tales of the falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...Responses...

imperialwar1234: She's mainly doing this to get Dipper obsessed with something non-vault related...it's driving her nuts...

Guest: No comment

...

When they found Dipper...he was a wreck...so they just put him and the journal he had on him to bed... The moment they were gone, Dipper quickly fought off the trauma, hands shaking all the while...and started to read his journal...read about the Shadowkhan...

...

"This is the place? Looks like a dump!" "The boss told us to go here, you want to tell him he was wrong?" A Long awkward silence followed. "That's what I thought, let's just get this over with."

...

The instant the group of men came into the Shack- Stan immediately knew there was going to be trouble...he'd been beaten up by this 'type' enough times to recognize the look of hired goons...and the taste of copper as they crack his fillings in...

"Wendy, Soos; don't ask why. But take Dipper and Mable, and go out the back way- Do it now!" The urgency in his hurried whisper had the two employees do just that...while Stan put his hand on the gun he kept under the counter.

"Hello Gentlemen! What can I do you for?"

Finn smirked. "Listen old man...we'll make this nice and simple for you...give us your nephew and maybe we don't trash the joint."

Stan then whips out his gun. "Here's another idea: you leave now, and I don't blow your brains out!"

Ratso and the other enforcers hold their hands up. "Whoa! Take it easy with that-

"SHARK SNATCHES BAIT!"

Stan's eyes widen at his now empty hands, he turns around just in time to see Hak Foo-

 **CRACK!**

-Smash the gun over Stan's head, knocking him out.

The Enforcers and the other nameless goons quickly composed themselves. "Right, Thanks for that, course we had him right were we wanted- But thanks nonetheless." Lied Finn lamely.

"GRUNKLE STAN!" Shouts a horrified Mable seeing this...the enforcers quickly surround Mable, Wendy and Soos. Wendy and Soos quickly shielded Mable...but they worried...they were badly outnumbered...

"Alright, you gonna tell us where the boy is...or do we have to get nasty?" Asked Finn as he and the others brought out the electro-swords...Mable Whimpered-

 **LEAVE MY SISTER ALONE!**

Suddenly, the shadows erupted...surrounding the Enforcers...with Shadowkhan...

...

"Well, that went downhill fast." Said Valmont as he observed the live surveillance footage. Valmont had been having a...'interesting' day. His entire operation and assets had been ripped from it's universe by an eldritch abomination that even Shendu feared. It then told them to kill one Dipper Pines...in exchange for return to their own dimension AND all the talismans given to them...

Slenderman shrugged as he raided their fridge. **"It's fine...I didn't really expect them to succeed anyway...this was more of an opening act then anything."** He then snaps his fingers... **"Annnnd, done! I've brought the talismans...but I've scattered them through out Gravity Falls, happy hunting!"**

Before Valmont or Shendu can protest-

Slenderman rolls his eyes at the surveillance monitor. **"Dang it Dipper, your better then that!"** And like that, he was gone-

...

"Dipper, no!" Shouts Mable as she pushes him out of the way of a bullet...that was grabbed from thin air by a monster-

 **"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?"** Snapped Slenderman at Dipper.

Dipper's eyes widened, "Wait, wha-

 **"SHUT UP"** Snapped Slenderman. **"You are one of the most intelligent, most Genre-savvy hero I've ever meet! You literally have no excuse to fall for the 'Hero gets new power and gets cocky, thus allowing a completely avoidable tragedy CLICHE!' Worse, You made me rescue MABLE- One of the people I hate more then anyone -to prevent it from happening!"**

"What did I do!?" Shouted a baffled and hurt Mable.

Slenderman snarled. **"SHUT IT MABLE! Just for that, I'm killing Wendy!"** He shouts as he flicks the bullet in his hand through Wendy's heart-

 **"PEACE OUT"!** He shouts as he makes himself and the Dark Hand vanish...while Wendy desperately clings to life...

 **POOF!**

Slenderman reappears long enough to rip off the sweater on Mable's back. **"I'm burning this."** He states flatly as he walks away...and then briefly runs back to kick Mable in the face...

"What the blood just happened here!?" Shouts a sobbing Mable as she nurses the broken shards her teeth had become...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	70. THE MOTIONS

**Tales of the falls**

 **I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!**

...Responses...

imperialwar1234: 1. How exactly is she supposed to fight an eldritch abomination with god-like powers? 2. She...should give her a cat? What?

…...

A bunch of strange creatures just going in single file...all day...every day. Just going from point A from point B. No real plan or purpose...

…...

 **This might hurt, it's not safe  
But I know that I've gotta make a change  
I don't care if I break  
At least I'll be feeling something**

 **'Cause just okay is not enough**  
 **Help me fight through the nothingness of life**

…...

Suddenly, it happened. a weird drop...of unknown substance drops from the heavens. It hits many...and it feels good...but most are scared...they don't understand this new thing...No, it's best to just forget it...just go back to what they know...but one...one doesn't do that...he goes against the flow...

…...

 **I don't wanna go through the motions  
I don't wanna go one more day  
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me  
…...**

This one creature pushed and shoved against the flow...the harder the flow pushed, he pushed back...then he broke from the flow completely!

… **...**

 **I don't wanna spend my whole life asking  
What if I had given everything  
Instead of going through the motions?  
…...**

This one simple creature felt giddy...it wanted to share this glorious new feeling with everyone!...and so it did...it bounced everywhere shattering the flow as it went...and everyone he touched felt this amazing feeling too!

…...

 **No regrets, not this time  
I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind  
Let Your love make me whole  
I think I'm finally feeling something**

 **'Cause just okay is not enough**  
 **Help me fight through the nothingness of this life**

 **'Cause I don't wanna go through the motions**  
 **I don't wanna go one more day**  
 **Without your all consuming passion inside of me**

 **I don't wanna spend my whole life asking**  
 **What if I had given everything**  
 **Instead of going through the motions?**  
…...

But then he stopped...for there were those who liked the flow were there in front of him...a big swirling mass of darkness...they all had their reasons...some had been betrayed by similar people who gave similar feelings...some didn't like their world crashing down around them...some were just scared of new things...but whatever the reason they all came crashing down on this poor creature...

… **...**

 **Take me all the way  
(Take me all the way)  
Take me all the way  
('Cause I don't wanna go through the motions)  
…...**

It all came crashing down for the poor creature...try as he might...he just wasn't strong enough...the good feeling was gone...he was starting to question whether it was ever real at all...satisfied, the swirling mass spat him back out into the flow...where the poor creature. after a moment's hesitation...reluctantly went with it...

… **...**

 **Take me all the way  
(Lord, I'm finally feeling something real)  
Take me all the way  
…...**

-But then he was stoped! It looked up to see what was blocking him...and was amazed! It was one his fellow creatures who he shared the feeling with! The other creature grasped him...and it came back! The feeling was back! And it was stronger then ever! Together, it and his new friends continued to spread this wonderful new feeling!

… **...**

 **I don't wanna go through the motions  
I don't wanna go one more day  
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me**

 **I don't wanna spend my whole life asking**  
 **What if I had given everything**  
 **Instead of going through the motions?**

 **I don't wanna go through the motions**  
 **I don't wanna go one more day**  
 **Without Your all consuming passion inside of me**  
 **…...**

The swirling mass continued to hiss and flame...but it's power was broken...actually it was always broken...it just took them a while to realize it...but even after so many years passed, that first creature still tries to share that great feeling with them...for their most in need of it...

… **...**

 **I don't wanna spend my whole life asking  
What if I had given everything  
Instead of going through the motions?  
Take me all the way  
(Take me all the way)  
Take me all the way  
(I don't wanna go, I don't wanna go)**

 **Take me all the way**  
 **(Through the motions)**  
 **Take me all the way**  
 **…...**

Dipper pines winced as he cleaned up and bandaged his wound. He briefly watched as one drop of his blood(still glistening from the effects of the strength potion he drank from that last battle) fell to the ground, before getting to his feet and walking away...

…...

And that's how Dipper Pines changed the lives of an entire microscopic world through one seemingly insignificant act...and he and that world will never know...

Funny how that works out, isn't it?

… **...**

 **I don't wanna go through the motions...**

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: This Song is by Matthew West**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	71. Dead Falls: Barbacar

**Tales of the falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

MysterD47: two, I think the first link was messed up so I couldn't get to it. Could you send it again? And I loved the last one. If you give me a good enough one of the last one(especially if it's the first of a series)...I might just make it a two-fer!

nightmaster000: Way ahead of you, give 'Book of gravity' a look. Still...your idea is good too...I might do that too.

RasenganFin: Sorry, I just REALLY love this song

...

 **AN: This was a story idea by Barbacar. Give his/her stories a read! Their good!**

...

Bill had won...the townsfolk were captured, and so were the twins...nothing anyone could do...except watch as Bill decides between either Mable or Dipper dying-

 **PAUSE  
**

Slenderman sighs at the paused scene before him...

 **"It's always the same...every universe I go to: Stan makes an easily avoidable mistake, all hope is lost, Bill enters Stan's mind, kill Bill, happy ending earned by all! Stan makes an easily avoidable mistake, all hope is lost, Bill enters Stan's mind, kill Bill, happy ending earned by all! Over, and over, and over! Again, and again!"**

Slenderman turns to the paused group. " **Now...don't get me wrong...this constant copying wouldn't be so bad- a bit lazy, but whatever -IF YOU ALL ACTUALLY EARNED A HAPPY ENDING!"**

Slenderman quickly dose a mantra of 'make life take the lemons back' under his breath, cracked his knuckles, made some 'adjustments' to the scene, turned invisible to all, unpaused, and watched the fireworks...

...

Mable began to sob in Bills grip..after everything they'd been through...for it to end like this... "What did we do to deserve this?" She asked out loud. Surprisingly, Bill stopped...and looked at her dumbfounded...then laughed. "You kidding...what haven't you done?"

Despite the situation, the Pines family couldn't help but feel insulted, but before they can retort, Bill seals their lips.

He pointed to Ford. "Built my portal, and kept secrets." Points to Stan. "Took Sixer out of the picture for thirty years, thwarted his attempt to kill me, and ruined the cipher wheel for the dumbest of reasons

He then points to Dipper...then frowned; "Experienced Heartbreak, ridicule, injury, spent 3 days surviving the apocalypse...I guess your okay..." He said dismissively. **  
**

And then he gets to Mable; "Ah...here we go...Your nothing but take and no give aren't you? And the one time you did give...if the fact that you clearly 'dodged a bullet' when it came to Gabe didn't kill it...the fact you clearly learned NOTHING from that whole episode did. Your uncle was blatantly favoring you, your whole time here. And on top of it you spent the majority of the apocalypse living in luxury...explain to me how exactly you 'earned' a happy ending?"

"Wait a minute! I-I helped rally the townspeople! I helped build the Shackatron, and I blinded bill allowing us to escape...briefly." Defended Mable.

Bill shrugged. "Yeah...you know...this might just be me...but considering you STARTED this whole mess...those few things seemed to be less earning a happy ending...and more breaking even for fixing a mistake...and frankly even THAT seems generous." He snarked.

"Wait, what!?" Shouted both twins. Bill looked at them confused...then laughed. "Right, of course...you didn't know...Mable got amnesia; thus eliminating the only real obstacle of you two reconciling in the most lazy way possible...what a crock!"

Before the twins could protest; Bill shows them a vision...a vision showing Mable making a deal with Blendin i.e. Bill!

Both twins looked at this in horror...neither knew what to say.

Bill chuckled. "Funny thing is...had you been patient...your little temper tantrum had already convinced Pine Tree to stay with you-

He shows them a glimpse of an alternative future...where Dipper reached Mable before she made the deal...and told her he wasn't going to do the apprenticeship...for the same reason he said in the bubble-

"Stuck working in a dingy basement all the time? Really? That's the best excuse you could think of!?" Snarls Bill.

"What's wrong with it?" Asked Dipper confused.

"What's wrong with- Okay, first of all: We've clearly seen Ford up and about researching wildlife and other anomalies! Not to mention the trip to Antarctica he planned! And for the times you do work in the lab...well so what? Getting to do what you love beside a man you respect and who working with will probably make you rich and famous...that doesn't sound like a 'fantasy world' to me! That sounds like a Dream job!"

Dipper looks like he's about to protest..but then he thinks about it... "Wow...that is a flimsy excuse...why did I think that?"

"Don't blame yourself my boy, that's more lazy writing than anything..." "What?" Asked a confused Dipper. But Bill had already moved on...he walks around Mable..

"Yes...that's all you ever have to do really, isn't it my dear?...cry and demand something...and Dipper will come running to do whatever you want...even if it's at his expense...in fact; why don't I show you that future, the future of life after Gravity Falls-

And so once more..everyone saw a vision of the future...

A forty-something year old Dipper enters his parents house and takes off his fast-food uniform with a sigh as he looks down at his meager paycheck.

A forty-something Mabel (wearing a crazy sweater and surrounded by dozens of cats); looks up. "Hey Dipping sauce! Guess what!? I made a 50 ft butterfly made of comics...which I then set ablaze! I'm still the goddess of destruction!...also the police are here again to fine us for burning stuff without a permit...also for unintended arson damage to the neighbors house."

"Wait, what!?" Shouts Dipper just as a policeman steps out of the shadows and snatches up Dipper's paycheck.

"Ah, come on man! I worked overtime the whole week at the drive-through to earn that!" Shouts Dipper. But the Officer had already left.

Dipper feels a drop of water on his head...the ceiling was leaking...

"I also created a new water slide for Waddles!"

 **CRASH!**

The ceiling gives way as a giant hog crashes down and breaks the floor; water soaking everything! The cats scatter in panic; breaking various household objects as they do so.

Mabel laughs at this. "Ah, they're cute when their crazy!" She shouts as she takes a picture of them.

Dipper sighs as he goes to check the emergency fund...only to find it empty...

"Hey Dipping sauce! Can we have Pizza tonight!? Duck-tective will be on!" Shouts the ever cheerful yet oblivious Mabel.

Dipper just hangs his head...and cries...

"I-I could've had it all...Wendy...Ford's apprenticeship...but I wasted it all...on HER..." Without another word...Dipper put a gun to his mouth-

 **BANG!**

Dipper and Mable were in tears... Bill chuckled. " Congratulations my dear...you got your never have to grow up...why would you have to? Especially when you have someone willing to never marry, never leave you, never have a life of his own...if it made you happy? The perfect Enabeler to your co-dependent."

He leans in close to both twins..they can smell the blood and rot emanating from him...his whisper sounded like an omen of death as he said: "Being able to love each other no matter what doesn't sound so great a trait now, dose it?"

He then quickly walks away from them. "But I've digressed for far too long...time to revive Kill!"

One moment he's on the far side of the room pointing a gun at Dippers head, the next he's standing by Mable, playing with her hair. -Unless of course...SOMEONE gives me what I want?"

Mable gulped...then nodded. "Whatever you want me to do...if it saves Dipper...I'll do it-

Dipper looked at her in horror. "Mable you can't- SHE AGREED! NO TAKE BACKS! Interrupted Bill as he worked his 'magic'.

And that's when it hit Mable...every scrap of suffering, pain, loss, and fright that the town had experienced since this nightmare began...ALL. AT. ONCE.

Mable screamed as her braces heat up and melt in her mouth, one of her hands turns to stone and shatters, an eye starts sprouting eyes of its own, her other eye fills up with liquid until it bursts,two of her fingers turn to ice and melt, her stomach fills up with bugs, her tongue liquefies, her mucus turns corrosive- And things only got worse until her head gave up and exploded followed by the rest of her body dissolving into a puddle of rainbow slime...

And the Pines family...the poor Pines family...they just stood their...like deer's in the headlights...helplessly watching as Mable died in agony...

Things went quickly after that. Bill laughed...Ford gave in...ford was actually Stan...Stan beat the crap out of Bill...Ford erased Bill...the pyramid collapsed...the Henchmaniacs were banished from whence they came...their friends were freed from the tapestries...and Weirdmagedon was reversed...Stan even got his memories back immediately...the Pines family didn't notice or care about it at all...far as they were concerned...the world had just ended...Mable was still dead...

...

Slenderman dragged the Bill statue deep into the forest. **"Poor Mable...you've suffered so much...and it's only going to get WORSE!"** He laughed as he turned Bills statue into the dread Marker of the Brethren moons...

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	72. Bad Begining 9: inspired by GojiraCipher

Tales of the falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...Response...

MysterD47: I like the Teen titan one, and also the other link...so that's two more updates...would you like me to do your Beast Boy hypnotized and Beast boy one with nature story ideas? Also, no i meant I like the 'Kisekae' style stories, that's the one involving the forgotten swimsuits and the water polo competition, get more of those(if I haven't already seen them and I REALLY like them) I might give you two updates for them(the possibility goes up if it's part one of a series)

RasenganFin: Sorry about that, this chapter was more of an apology to Barbacar then anything else.

...

 **AN: this story was inspired by GojiraCipher. Give HIS stories a read! Their good!**

 **...**

A panicky Wendy screamed at the sight of her best friends decapitated head, said head starting to speak didn't help her constitution much either-

 **ROAR!**

Fortunately the sound or roving zombies trying to break in and eat her brain was enough to get her to focus again. Quickly, the head explained that it was clone number 4...and how both he and 3 were captured by an unknown assailant...3 was dragged off elsewhere...and 4 was given immunity to water and Dippers memories up to the point he left Gravity Falls...right before his head was cut off and put into her locker...

 **CRASH!**

Seeing a zombie hand break through the glass, Wendy immediately filed the story under 'weird frak that I'll solve later'. She quickly finds a rope and ties a flustered Dipper 4's head to her waist.

She then picks up the chainsaw, and looks at it amazed. "Wow...is this a timber-master VX blaster? This is the best chainsaw in the world! It's been banned everywhere except Japan! And even their it's restricted only to help girls kill tentecal monsters!"

Wendy got a wicked grin...a grin Dipper had long learned to love...and FEAR.

 **BOOM!**

Even you had to feel sorry for the zombies...the locker room door was in splinters...and the zombies were jelly...just one left over a cowering Tambry.

Tambry screamed as it lunged at her...only for it to scream? Tambry watched amazed as Zombies was emasculated...dick and testicles went flying...then the chainsaw worked up, splitting him up through the middle...the two sides fell opposite ways...reveling a now blood soaked and naked Wendy practically straddling a smoking chainsaw.

"I am so turned on right no- Then Dipper four remembered he had nothing below his waist...or neck anymore. "Dang it." He bemoaned.

Tambry hugged Wendy gratefully. "Thank you Wendy! Here! I found this re rubber one-piece swimsuit in the waist bin before I was attacked! I was going to use it...but you'll probably need it more! As for me...I don't care if I have to streak home! I'm getting out of this mad house.

As Dipper 4 watched a naked Tambry run away, he once more silently bemoaned his 'situation'.

Wendy looked at the swimsuit annoyed, "Great, it's several sizes too small! this would barely fit a 12 year old, let alone me!"

 **CRASH!**

More zombies smashed through the windows- "Then again, beggars can't be choosers." Admitted Wendy as she quickly stretched it on, while keeping the chainsaw motor running...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	73. Daily life of a monster girl in Gravity

**Tales of the falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...Response...

MysterD47: done and done, hope you like them!

...

Dipper sighed depressed...was it really only yesterday that Wendy gave him the 'let's be friend speech'...count it sour grapes if you must...but Dipper couldn't help but feel that if Wendy had just given him a chance...he'd have been the best boyfriend she'd ever had!(which admittedly wasn't so much as a compliment toward him, so much as an insult to all the other guys around...seriously, did this town have a gas-leak or something?)

Dipper shook his head of such fancy thoughts and reclined on the couch with his family. " _There's no point to it now...it's over...you blew it...it's now just an impossible crush on an impossible girl..."_

 **ZAP!**

Suddenly, the TV was bathed in a weird glow...and Ducktective was replaced by-

 **HELLO, GRAVITY FALLS! I'M YOUR HOST SLENDERMAN! AND WELCOME TO BACHELOR: GRAVITY FALLS EDITION!**

The Pines family gaped at the Eldritch abomination that was now on the screen. "What? What is this?" Asked a confused Stan as he tried to change the channel...but the remote did nothing.

" **Yes, we got a REAL treat for you today! Today we hook up newly single Dipper Pines with a lady!"**

"WHAT!?" Exclaimed everyone in Gravity falls. Slenderman continues on. **"Dipper Pines is an introvert would-be-hero. Who's hobbies include: investigating bloodthirsty monsters, being an enabler to his co-dependent sister-**

"HEY!" Shouts Mable insulted.

 **-and whistling to BABBA in the Shower!"** Finishes Slenderman.

"HEY!" Shouts Dipper flustered.

Slenderman waves a dismissive hand. **"But enough of that! Time to get down to the nitty gritty! BRING IN THE MONSTER GIRLS!"**

Suddenly the scene changed to show a wide variety of cute monster girls of all shapes and sizes ripped from their home universe and unceremonially dumped into Gravity Falls.

Stan sighs. "Great...it's going to be one of THOSE days." He states as he grabs his thermos and begins guzzling booze.

 **CRUNCH!**

No sooner had Stan started drinking it, then he started spitting it out! It wasn't just monster girls that were coming from portals...it was monster beasts too! And they were eating all the Monster girls!

" **Remain calm, good people! This breed of monster only eats Monster Girls...more specifically 'Virgin' monster girls!"** He explains with a laugh.

All the girls of Gravity Falls eyes widened in horror. "No...surely he's not-

" **Oh, but I am!"** Interrupts Slenderman! **"You want to save the damsels in distress?...YOU GOTTA FRACK THEM! FRACK THEM HARD!"**

He then quickly turns back to the camera. **"Disclaimer: If any guy besides Dipper tires to 'do' this...his genitals will burst into flames!"**

All the guys(minus the Pines family) who'd been rushing to the doors...went pale and aborted...

Then Slenderman shrugged. **"However, I know my show isn't for everyone..if you don't want to participate Dipper...that's cool...just sit back, relax...AND ENJOY THE CARNAGE!"**

With that, the scene switched to numerous fatality shots of Cute Monster Girls getting violently ripped apart and eaten...while 'Singing in the rain' played in the background...which somehow made the whole thing so much more disturbing...

Dipper said nothing for a few seconds...then sighed. "I have to do it..." He stated. Stan sighs in resignation. "Yeah...I know..."

Stan jumps up. "Right! You heard the monster! Were off to get Dipper laid!"

Mable promptly vomited. _I am SOOOO not okay with this!_ Groaned Mable to herself as she trudged along grudgingly...

...Meanwhile...

Wendy reaches toward the door...then recoils. "What am I doing?" She asks while trying to laugh the whole thing off. "Of course Dipper won't take this 'challenge'! What kind of boy would be dumb enough to risk his dignity and life for a girl he barley knew?"

...FLASHBACK...

 _Who wants a Lamby, Lamby?..._

…...

Wendy flusters...the sighs in resignation... "Dipper...that's who." She then runs out of her house to go help the underage kid who loved her...get laid multiple times...

 _I hate my life..._

 _..._

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	74. Digi-Falls: Keeper of worlds

**Tales of the falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...Response...

imperialwar1234: glad you like it!

MysterD47: Already saw the first one, already saw the second one, the link for the third didn't work, could you send it back to me? The forth...I REALLY shouldn't count it since it doesn't fit the criteria of our deal...but it was such an awesome comic, I'll accept it this one time. As it stands you get 1 update...I'll have to do it two weeks from now.

...

 **AN: This was a story suggestion by "Keeper of Worlds"**

...

SOOS! SHUT IT DOWN! Screamed Dipper. What had started as an attempt to recreate the weird 1/3rd of a device that was in the journal...in hindsight building it out of random scraps they found in the garage probably wasn't their best idea-

The machine began to hiss, smoke, and glow! Dipper and Soos braced for the inevitable explosion-

The door opens! "Hey guys! What are you-

 **BOOM!**

Wendy moaned as she woke up...only to find Dipper and Soos staring at her in horror!

"What? What is it!?" "N-nothing!" Said Dipper quickly. "Oh! Don't look in the mirror!"

"Why!?" Demands Wendy as she turns around-

And screams when she sees a football sized blob with eyes staring back at her!

"-I told you not to look in the mirror!" Shouts a mortified Dipper.

No one notices a giant yellow fox with purple gloves crawl out of the wreckage and out the door...

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	75. A Dept 19 op walks into Gravity Falls

**Tales of the falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...Response...

MysterD47: Got it and I loved it, that gives you 2 updates...what will it be?(remember that it'll be two weeks before I get to this)

NyaNyaKittyFace: what?

...

Stanford Pines sighs as he finishes burying the unmarked grave in the middle of the Gravity Falls forest. " _Forgive me Mary...but I had no choice..."_ And with that, a somber Ford walks away...

…30 years later...

The Mystery Shack was tranquil for once...until-

 **MABEL! NO!**

 **BOOM!**

The Mystery Shack was ablaze!

….Meanwhile, on the other side of the world...

Dracula didn't know why...but for the first time in his immortal life...he felt fear...

…3 days later, in Michigan...

Emma Sue was a little scared...but she wasn't going to let her friends call her chicken! She goes to the mirror...takes a deep breath... "Bloody Mary...Bloody Mary...Bloody Mary..."

…...

The next day Emma's house was filled with the bloody chunks of her friends and family...the police hadn't had time to check it out yet...they and every other law enforcement agency had their hands full responding to a dramatic rise in homicides...

... days later, over the Atlantic sea...

Walter didn't know what had happened...one moment he was sipping tea in France...the next he was attacked by a red-haired she-demon...and he had barely recovered from the lose of blood...when SHOOP! An irresistible force was forcibly pulling him toward...who knows where?

 **CRASH!**

Walter crashed into the 'Welcome to Gravity Falls' sign...and he wouldn't be the last...

….Area 51...

Bob Allen; head of NS9 read the reports with ever-increasing concern. He turns to one of his aides. "Call the heads of all the other Departments...this one's going to be a doozy..."

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	76. 1632: When Gravity Falls

**Tales of the falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...Response...

MysterD47: Uh...refresh my memory about the jungle book idea?

...

It was night time. It had only been a couple days since the fall of Gideon. And all had finally calmed-

 **KABOOM!**

"GAH!" Cried Stan Pines inside his secret lair. The portal began the shudder and quake. " _Oh, this is gonna hurt."_ Thought a fearful Stan.

…...

For a brief moment all was quiet in picturesque gravity falls. Then a Ring of Fire enveloped it. And that was the last time that town would ever be seen in that universe.

… **...1632, undisclosed location...**

Tyler woke up with a start. His house rumbled something fierce! Curious, he drowsily got up and opened his door- And nearly fell to his death!

"GAHH!" He cried. Gravity falls was now a floating island! "GET ME! GET ME!" He cried as he hung to his doorknob for dear life...

…...

Gustavus Adolphus sighed as he looked through his telescope. _It's times like this I seriously consider abdicating._ Thought the weary king as he ordered his servants to call the newly formed Confederated Principalities of Europe to send for Mike Stearns...And his best wine...This was going to be a long night...

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	77. Evil Genius

**Tales of the falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...Response...

MysterD47: okay, thank you. I'll have both within two weeks

...

Dipper Pines took a deep breath as Wendy approached. " _Well, here she comes...Alright Dipper...It's sink or swim time..."_

 **Out in the hallway  
I said hello**

 **The dance is this Friday,  
Do you wanna go?  
Probably not, she promptly replied.  
But kudos for asking, you're such a nice guy.**

- _Sink it is then...What else is new?_ Thought a dejected Dipper to himself as he walked home...

 **Yeah I should've known  
I'd end up at home  
Watching my star wars box trilogy.  
But here is the truth,  
If she only knew  
That I've got a secret she'd never believe**

Dipper read the incantation from the Journal...opening the portal to his lab.

 **Wendy doesn't know that I'm an evil genius!**  
 **With a sidekick dog named Grover Cleveland.**  
 **And she'll never know that**  
 **We can take over the world**  
 **With cyborg robot squirrels.**

"Hey Grover." Greeted Dipper. "Charmed." Replied the uplifted pet as it sipped tea and polished it's monocle.

 **Down in the basement**  
 **I wish she could see**  
 **The monkeys I've altered, Genetically.**  
 **And all of my plans to make a whole other moon.**  
 **Its not quite completed**  
 **But it's coming soon.**

"What do you mean they sent the lunar rover to Chicago by mistake!?" Shouted an irritated Dipper to a sheepish Monkey construction worker.

 **When I fall asleep  
All I do is dream  
Of candle lit dates in the laboratory.  
And when I'm awake, its hard to concentrate  
On the assembly of my robot army**

Dipper tried very hard to focus on attaching death rays to his robots...and not on a certain red head...

 **Wendy doesn't know that I'm an evil genius**  
 **With a sidekick dog named Grover Cleveland.**  
 **And she'll never know that**  
 **We can take over the world**  
 **With cyborg robot squirrels.**

"That is the last time I take a suggestion from Mabel." Stated Dipper firmly as his robot squirrels once more blew themselves up...

 **I worked up the nerve**  
 **To go to the dance**  
 **There's no reason I couldn't give it a chance**  
 **I walked through the door**  
 **And what should I see-**

Dippers eyes grew wide. There stood Wendy... in the most gorgeous green dress he'd ever seen!

 **-But it was Wendy starring back at me  
And she said**

 **I've always wanted to be a mad professor**  
 **With a bottle nosed dolphin I could name Sylvester**  
 **If that's the kind of thing your into**  
 **I'm your girl.**

Hand-in-hand Dipper and Wendy went to the dance...Followed shortly by Grover and Sylvester paw-to-flipper...

 **'Cause I've been looking for an evil genius**  
 **With a sidekick dog named Grover Cleveland**  
 **And now that I've found you**  
 **We can take over the world**  
 **With cyborg robot squirrels.**  
 **With cyborg robot squirrels.**

"SQUIRREL PARTY!" Screams Mabel as the Squirrels break dance...

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: The song is a parody of 'Evil Genius' by 'Eleventyseven'**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	78. Fall of Grim Tales 2

**Tales of the falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...Response...

biob1: Yes, I USED to watch family guy...now I don't anymore(It's made me too uncomfortable). But thank you for the compliment.

MysterD47: Uh, not a FEW days...a whole week. I go on a week long fast from fanfiction/anime/manga both to broaden my horizons and as an tribute to my lord and savior. I repeat this every two weeks. Sorry, I've already seen these two. Anyway, your two updates should be already up, enjoy!

nightmaster000: Thank you. Uh, what martian are you talking about? I'm mainly focusing on Gravity falls..and to a lesser extent pokemon and jungle book

...

 **AN: This chapter is a reward for 'WenDip and Pinecest' for doing my 'Shake up the falls' story challenge, give him/her story a read!**

...

 **AN: This chapter was collaborated by Wolvenstrom**

...

"Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay,okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay okay, okay, okay, okay." Repeated Dipper over and over as he paced nervously in front of the Shack trying to calm himself.

He then turned to Stan, "How did this happen?" He finally asked. Stan casually shrugged, "So there I was playing poker with the devil-

"Wow, not even half a sentence and I already have so many questions." Interrupted Dipper.

Wendy- also trying very hard not to freak out -was equally dumbfounded, " Yeah. Like "how did you get into a poker game with 'the devil'.", "why were you in a poker game with 'the devil'." and the big one "how STUPID do you have to be, with all of the libraries full of stories about NOT making a bet with the devil, to play a game of poker against 'The Devil'!" She exclaimed.

Stan again just shrugged like it was no big deal, "Well for starters I didn't know it was 'the Devil' little Ms Vamperella. It's not like he had horns, a tail and a big flashing neon sign saying "Hi, I'm Satan."

The two looked between each other. She didn't know who Vamperella was, but felt she should be much more offended. Stan continued, "Their I was ridding high on fixing the slot in Vegas...when a big shot pops up out of nowhere, not only dose he see through my scam but my disguise as well!

"Wait, why were you wearing a disguise?" Asked Mable confused. Stan Winched. "Trust me sweetie...you don't want to know how many answers that question has."

Stan quickly continued before any awkward follow-up questions- Surprisingly, he not only doesn't have me kicked out, but introduces himself as the bookie of a very exclusive game played between some V.I.P.'s- And invites me to join! So we start playing. And other guys start looking to join the game."

"These guy's. The 'Lords of the underworld'?" Asked Dipper dryly while resisting the urge to pinch his nose.

Stan chuckled, "It's the most important rule of the con kiddo. And these guys are the biggest con artists in the universe. So anyway your uncle was doing great. Raking it in like gangbusters. These chuckleheads seemed more interested in each other over than me, to them I was just some yahoo who just so happened to be there. They were so busy trying to one up and screw over each other that they barely paid attention to me and I was making out like gangbusters. Like that time I got away scot free with all the cash from that mob game I got pulled into..."

Dipper muttered under his breath about something but let his grunkle continue, "So as the night kept going the pots kept getting bigger, this one guy. Uh whosit's name again? Eh can't remember 'Him' saying. Upped the anty with property, then the others did the same. Now at this point I could have ducked out with the fat stack of lot I got, but then I thought how it'd be even nicer if it was a 'fatter stack' and-

"Oh dood. You didn't bet the shack did you Mr. Pines?" Asked Soos worried.

"Hey I was on a hot streak!" Defended Stan. "Ok, Ironic metaphor aside. This is the 4th time you bet the shack." Pointed out Wendy.

"This week." Added Dipper.

Stan waved a hand dismissively, "Details, details. So I bet the shack...and then I noticed the floor was starting to shake, and I think at one point I saw an elephant."

Dipper couldn't believe what he was hearing! "Wait...you bet the shack, and who knows what else...while drunk?"

Stan laughed, "No...I bet the shack, and who knows what else while drunk...AND WON!...hence why I'm now the proud owner of a large stack of money. A nice house in the Bermuda Triangle, this sweet 'get out of eternal torment free card' for when I die (the fact that it's basically a license to do whatever I want with no regard to the consequences for the sake of my eternal soul non-withstanding) and this coffee mug that keeps your coffee hot forever. And you have a harem of beautiful demonic princesses, including red and sunburnt here."

Wendy, Dipper and the others just stared at him speechless...they didn't know what to say...what could they say in such a insane situation?

"So yeah...Your welcome." Stated Stan flatly.

"Wait, none of this explains how I'm now married to Dipper...or why- or HOW I'm a vampire!" Pointed out Wendy frustrated.

To this Stan looked at her baffled, "I'm just as confused about that as you are- I literally didn't know you'd be involved in this until 5 minutes ago when I saw your name attached to the marriage certificate that the other girls brought with them- By the way, we should REALLY check on them, It's never an idea to keep girls waiting- doubly sure for underworld girls, triply sure if the girls are your WIVES!" Stan laughed at his joke in the last line...no one else did...

Still they took his point...Dipper takes a deep breath...and goes to see the girls he's to spend the rest of his life with...or failing that, the girls who could rip out his heart and dissect his families souls if he ticked them off...no pressure...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	79. Leauge of Extraordinary Pines 2

**Tales of the falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...Response...

imperialwar1234: Well, I'm glad you like it!

nightmaster000: Luck of the devil? O, I think something WORSE had a hand in this 'good luck'

...

 **AN: This chapter is a reward for 'WenDip and Pinecest' for doing my 'Shake up the falls' story challenge, give him/her story a read!**

...

Tambry screamed as the thugs roughly grabbed her. "Right, I think I can have a second helping of _dessert_." Mocks the Ripper-

Tambry's eyes widen, "What are you-

 **RIP!**

Tambry turned deathly pale as her shirt was ripped off, "Oh, please- no!" Begged Tambry as they also tore off her pants.

 **SLAP!**

The Rippers laughed as they struck her! "That's right! BEG ME BITCH!" Shouted the thug as they then broke the clasp off her bra.

The thug pulled down his pants, exposing his horrifically large cock. "Suck me and MAYBE we'll just chop you up now and put you out of your misery-

 **THWACK!**

The thug screamed as an arrow came down and split his dick straight down the middle, squirting blood and semen right into an already freaked out Tambry's face.

"Sorry Tambry!" Shouted dipper as he used his modified magnet gun to throw more steel arrows at super speed.

One went through the man holding Tambry's right arm, piercing his colon...poop spurted through his innards..causing him to go into septic shock...

Another pierced through the man who was holding her other arm's trachea, he let go and stumbled around...chocking on his own blood.

Unfortunately, all the commotion seemed to draw in reinforcements. Dipper quickly handed the now topless Tambry his vest and ordered her to stay behind her. Tambry obeyed without question.

Dipper turned to the incoming Ripper's...weapons ready...

...

Tambry's scream brought everyone else running to her...only to find Dipper kicking butt and taking names!

Not only using the Magnet gun arrows; Dipper also fired modified love-god anti-love potions- causing those hit to be so self-hating that they kill themselves -he throws smiley Dip pellets, leaving them disoriented. He uses a weird ray-gun that seems to make the thugs forget what's happening, leaving them vulnerable to having their throats slashed.

And that weird gauntlet with a tape-measure tied to it! Every time Dipper clicked it, it seemed to make him go freaky fast for a limited time...

Mable, Wendy and the teens saw this...some would think them amazed...but honestly they were mainly busy vomiting...their was SO much blood!

"Wow...I'm dark and tortured for real now(pause to vomit)...gotta admit, it's not nearly as good as I thought it would be."

"Frak this! I ain't getting paid for this blood!" Shouted a Ripper as he and many others made a run for it-

"Come back you cowards!" Shouted someone who was seemed to be the leader, but his men had already fled.

He snarled at dipper. "This isn't over! Soon the Rippers will be everywhere! You want to be a hero, boy? We'll take this, hero!" He shouts as he brings up his gun

Dipper gets ready to dodge- Only for him to turn the gun to Wendy!

 **NO!**

Screamed Dipper as he dived in front of a startled Wendy, "I love you Wendy! I won't let you get hurt again!" He screamed out loud, it no longer seeming to matter what with the cold sting of lead...absent?

Dipper flopped on the ground, he looked around confused. "Wait, wha-

Mable coughed awkwardly. "Uh...so the guy just took off without firing...I think he was out of bullets and was just bluffing to distract you long enough to run away...so...yeah.."

Dipper and Wendy looked at each other...both flustered...neither knowing what to say...

"AWKWARD." Mumbled Thompson out loud as he scooted away from the whole scene...only to slip on dismembered gray matter...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	80. Twin vs Twin 2

**Tales of the falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

NyaNyaKittyFace: Yeah, I try to get creative when it comes to monsters like that...

MysterD47: Sorry, already seen it...listen...I'm starting to think we should cut off our deal...it's not fair to the writers who work hard to produce chapters to get updates when your doing something- even though I enjoy it greatly -I have to call it off...I'll still accept pictures as inspiration for stories ideas you want done(but that'll only make it slightly more likely that i'll get to it). However, I'm a fair man. I'm going to give you a 'severance package'...you get THREE free updates...for two weeks from now...choose wisely.

...

 **AN: This chapter is a reward for 'WenDip and Pinecest' for doing my 'Shake up the falls' story challenge, give him/her story a read!**

...

...1 minute earlier...

...Gravity Falls...

Grunkle Stan watched in horror as events unfolded...the insecure twin ruining the more successful twin out of 'love'...it was deja vu all over again...

"Oh, Mable...what have you done?"

...Piedmont...

Ma pines sobbed as Pa Pines tried to get an account... "Uh, sir? That's a waffle iron- "GAH! I HATE TECHNOLOGY!"

...?-?-?...

Someone just looked at the screen...

...

Mable burst into tears as Dipper pressed the button...she braced herself for her death...and she kept bracing...still bracing...

"Mable stop, bracing I didn't un-follow you."

"Hubba-what?" Asked Mable, shocked.

...She wasn't the only one; there were cries of 'Hubba-wha?', 'you idiot!', and 'Ah, that's sweet'(but mostly the first...with the second in very close...well, second).

Dipper sighed, "Mable...you've betrayed my trust...YOU, the one person I thought I could trust more then anyone!" He glared at her angrily.

Mable whimpered...but nodded.

Dipper then sighed, "But for better or for worse...your still the sister who gave me Valentines when no one else would...your still the one who made my Halloween's a delight with your zany twin costumes...your still the one who was their for me when no one else was...the one bright spot in my otherwise crappy life."

Mable felt her heart flutter with each praise, "Dipper I-

But just like that, the moment of heartwarm was gone, Dipper was glaring at her again. "But let me be clear: I'm doing this for the sake of the Mable I THOUGHT I knew...who I USED to love and trust more then anything. I won't let you die and I'll protect you throughout this tournament...but after that...I'm leaving, I'm going to try and get one of those scholarships back...but even If I don't...I'm leaving you, Far as I'm concerned...I HAVE NO SISTER."

And just like that...Mable was sobbing again.

 **"Huh...a bit sentimental over reason...but I guess that last bit is kinda pragmatic...overall I guess I give your decision a C-"** Said the nearly forgotten Slenderman.

Dipper simply turned to him, "For the record, I KNOW it's a dumb decision." He states flatly.

Slenderman shrugs, **"Well, in any case...you do realize I'll have to kill you now...rendering the whole thing moot, right?"**

Dipper sighed, nodded, and got in front of Mable...he knew it was pointless...but he figured he could at least give her an extra second of life...

 **"Oh, before I forget...contestants can follow other contestants! So let the 'survivor' style alliances commence!"** Sure enough, their was a loud sound of people rapidly talking, arguing and texting each others...Slenderman took a moment to breathe in the savory aroma of back door politics, BS, backstabbing, and(believe it or not) Friendships that could withstand ANYTHING(although that last one was more of an acquired taste).

Slenderman dusted of his hands, "Right, where were we?" He turns back to Dipper...just as his phone rang-

 **Pacifica Northwest is now a follower!**

Dippers eyes widen and turn to the blonde he rescued earlier, "P-pacifica?" He asks surprised. Pacifica flustered, "Well...you kept me from dying...I figured it's only fair-

Then Dipper's phone rang again!

 **Wendy Corduroy is now a follower!**

 **(Unknown) is now a follower!**

Dipper was briefly confused by the last, but honestly he was too happy about the first to pay it too much mind at the moment.

"Wendy! Your here too!?"

"Unfortunately." Quipped the Red head as she stepped forward, accepting a hug from both twins...oblivious to the jealous glare from a certain blonde heiress...

 _"Oh, it's on!"_ Snarled the blonde to herself.

Slenderman just takes this all in and (somehow) smirks, **"Now things get interesting..."**

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	81. Bad Begining 10 inspired by GojiraCipher

**Tales of the falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...Response...

nightmaster000: 1. I concur. 2. It's someone from Gravity falls, that's your one hint.

MysterD47: 1. Yea it was. 2. Okay. 3. I'll see what I can do, but I make no promises. I'm limited by my inspiration after all.

NyaNyaKittyFace: who said Tambry isn't their?

...

 **AN: this story was inspired by GojiraCipher. Give HIS stories a read! Their good!**

 **...**

"Mable? What are you doing here!?" Asked Stan and Ford surprised. Mable frowned and grasped her head. "I...I don't know...one moment I'm on the bus with Dipper crying over Waddles...the next I find myself naked in this spooky place...thankfully I found this yellow raincoat...REALLY hope I don't end up in a Marilyn Monroe situation!" She joked in a desperate attempt to diffuse the seriousness of the situation...it didn't.

Not knowing what else to do...the Stan's take Mable with them...they quickly go up a bed sheet rope through a window...Mable going last for obvious reasons...

"I hope we find food soon...I'm famished." Groaned Mable...

After beating the clock in an electrified giant's playroom; complete with toy blocks, choo-choo train, swings, and playground roundabout...they found themselves going through a hallway of giant doors...

...once they leave it...they find themselves in a large, dark room. Ford frowns as he sees something, he turns his lantern toward it.

 _"What's this? A statue?"_ He asks himself as he walks toward it- _"Wha- A little child screaming in agony? Yeesh! What is with modern art these-_

 **CLACK!**

 **GAH!**

A horrific pain filed his entire body as a blinding light focused on him. "BRO! THINK FAST!" Shouts Stan as he shoots his grappling hook at Ford and quickly pulls him away from the sight of the giant mechanical eye...

It took Ford a few minutes to regain his constitution...his arm had gotten a little bit petrified, but he away;s kept some 'anti-gorgon' regenerative that restored him good as new!

Fortunately, the 'eye' seemed to have a lousy memory...it quickly forgot about them and just kept cycling around the room...every time it looked a way, the three of them jumped to the next conveniently placed obstruction until they made it to the other side of the room...

They quickly climbed up some cages to the next floor...only one of the giant doors was opened...revealing a bed...that was surrounded by black ooze, messed up hand prints and pictures of sinister eyes glaring down at them...naturally Mable's first instinct was to jump on the bed-

"Weeee! This is fun!" Squealed Mable as she jumped up and down.

"GAH!" Shouted the Stan twins as they turned green and covered their eyes.

"Uh...sweetie? Need I remind you that your currently lacking in concealment of your 'under-carriage' and-

"FOR THE LOVE OF BUNYAN, MABLE! WE CAN SEE EVERYTHING!" Interrupted a horrified Stan.

Mable flustered and immediately pulled her billowing Raincoat down to cover herself...without a word...they awkwardly moved on...

They found another open door, and quickly entered an eerily dark room filled with beds filled with malnourished, sickly, sleeping children...

 **clack**

Suddenly, another door to this room opened...revealing the giant, sinister silhouette of the monster the Stan's had seen in the upper catwalk earlier!

"Called it." Thought the Stan's as they quickly ducked under a bed just as the monster began to extend it's freakishly large arms toward their direction...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	82. Wendy Phantom

Tales of the falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...Response...

MysterD47: I keep forgetting to ask: Whatever happened to that Naked Lad at comic Con idea?

...

The people of gravity Falls had packed the place up tight... **Circus Gothica** had completely sold out. Everyone had loved the performance so far. The acrobatic midgets juggling flaming skulls, the strongman ripping a ferocious lion to pieces with his bare hands, a knife thrower that eats her knifes..but the thing everyone loved the most-

 **Imperviana the woman who feels no pain!**

Inside a cage was a naked red-headed girl covered in tattoos. It was an interactive experience that appealed to everyone's more sadistic instincts:

 **REMEMBER: IF SHE SCREAMS IN PAIN; YOU GET DOUBLE YOUR MONEY BACK! GO NUTS!**

 **Electrocution: 10$**

 **Burn her: 10$**

 **Brand her: 15$**

 **Stab her: 20$**

 **Whip her: 5$ (per lash)**

 **Stone her: 5$ (per rock)**

 **Acid: 5$ (per cup)**

 **put her on a rack: 5$ (per turn of the wheel)**

 **Tomato her: 5$ (per tomato); 6$ (per rotten tomato)**

 **Iron maiden: 25$**

Yes the cage doubled as a torture chamber/demonic vending machine. Simply put in your money, select the torture and watch the carnage...it was the carnivals biggest moneymaker..hundreds of dollars went into it...but the girl never screamed...never even cried...she just stared out...with cold dead eyes...only ever moving to get in range of the next torture...

"BAH! I tell you, this is rigged!" Shouted an irritated Grunkle Stan having blown all his money on getting the girl to cry.

His grand niece, who'd just come to live with him along with his twin brother a couple days ago...looked upon the whole thing with discomfort.

"Uh...Grunkle Stan? Can we please leave?" Asked Mable as she tried not to look as the poor teenage girl was electrocuted for the hundredth time.

Stan may not have been the most attentive of people...but he could tell that she was trying very hard to not cry. "Sweetie, relax...it's all smoke and mirrors. I pull off scams like this all the times." He said reassuringly...

Seeing this hasn't helped, he agrees to leave...but notices Dipper is absent...

"Hey, where's your brother?" He asked. Mable shrugged. "He was reading a weird book he'd found recently, then his ears started to bleed and he went to the restroom...actually...that was a while ago..." And now Mable was looking concerned again.

Stan put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "Alright, don't panic. We'll just-

"Attention; Ladies and Gentleman! Frederich Isak Showenhower here with an important announcement!" Shouts the Ringmaster.

Everyone turned toward him...

 **GLOW!**

Only to be ensnared by the light of his Crystal Ball Staff. As the audience sits their mezmorised, Freakshow turns to his minions- who quickly tear off their disguises.

"Right, this thing can't do much for humans; save for keep them 'out of it' for 5 hours...you have until then to clean 'Dans' house of valuables...NOW GO!" He shouts his command as his brainwashed ghost fly off to do his bidding.

He then turns to the girl in the cage. "So...how are things?" He asked gleefully as he released her from her spell.

Wendy Corduroy cries out in pain as she fell to the floor. His magic might have prevented her from 'showing' pain...but she felt it all! It was horrible!

"Please...let me go...I beg of you." Freakshow laughed, "After what your Fathers incompetence did to the woman I loved...NEVER!"

She groaned as she barfed out on the floor. "Please...my dad didn't mean to kill Lydia...it was an accident!"

Freakshow shook his head. "Do you think I care? With her last breath she used her most powerful gypsy curse to turn you into a halfa...she WANTED me to have revenge! I would never have been able to control you if you were still full-human! And tonight after I rob the bank of his money, burn down his lumber mill...he'll be ruined! He's already in dire financial straights since he's used most of his money to find you the last year!"

Freakshow laughed as she left the poor girl to sob. "...Why go on? What's the point?"

"The POINT is that we won't let him get away with this!" Wendy looks up in surprise at a little boy with a pine tree hat standing before her.

"What?" She asked confused. Dipper Pines sighed. "Sorry...that sounded more badass in my head..."

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!

Love me, flame me, review me


	83. Dishonored falls

**Tales of the falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...Response...

MysterD47: got it, thanks!

...

 **THE ROYAL EXAMINER**

 **EMPRESS KILLED!**

 **PRINCESS ABDUCTED!**

 **ROYAL PROTECTOR...A FRAUD?**

 **Disaster struck the heart of the empire yesterday!**

 **Our beloved Empress** **Jessamine Kaldwin was murdered and her daughter Pacifica abducted!**

 **And all of it mastermined by The Royal Protector Stanford Pines!**

… **.Or so it appeared.**

 **Hold on to your pants folks! This next one's a dozy!**

 **It has been revealed that the man who just yesterday came back from his long mission of finding a way to colonize the Pandyssian Continent...was not Stanford Pines! But rather his diabolical twin brother Stanley Pines!**

 **Stanley Pines was kicked out of the house by his parents at a young after nearly costing his brother the opportunity to become The Royal Protector! He then went on to partake in numerous criminal activities!**

 **Thankfully our wondrous Royal Spymaster Preston Northwest was quick to come on the scene!**

 **Although unable to catch his henchmen who spirited away the Princess; they were successful in capturing the false Royal Protector!**

 **Stanley was executed on the spot! To protect them from a no doubt angry populace, the rest of the Pines family were spirited away in the dead of night for their own protection!**

 **It is with a heavy heart that Preston has accepted the temporary position of Lord Regent...**

… **...**

 **CELEBRATION OF THE EVERYMAN!...AND A DEATH?**

 **Mired in the death of our Empress and the plague; there is one piece of good news!**

 **The Abbey of the Everyman have finally accomplished their ultimate goal!**

 **The 'Outsider' Bill Cipher is vanquished!**

 **A great celebration has been ordered!**

 **NOTICE: All talk about an explosion occurring inside the abbey after the Overseer's glorious announcement has been labeled as treasonous slander by both the High Overseer and the Lord Regent**

… **...**

 **DOWN WITH RAGS...UP WITH THE WHALER?**

 **The flooded District celebrated tonight!**

 **Granny Rags is no more!**

 **She was killed by Whaler Daud's new apprentice!**

 **Not much is known about this Femme fatale save for her red hair and specialization with Ax weapons...**

… **...**

Dipper pines read through the various newspaper scraps with disdain. "' _For their own protection', yeah right..."_ Dipper looked around his cell in Coldridge Prison.

It had been several months since his entire family had been forcibly thrown into this prison. Subjected to nonstop torture and interrogation. Over and over they demand the same question: _where is Stanford Pines!?_

Honestly, how should they know? Ford hadn't talked to the rest of the family for years! But still they demanded answers!

And one-by-one...his family withered away and died...now only he was left. Mabel willingly throwing herself onto an Arc Pylon...that had been the final straw.

Dipper looked at the make-shift noose he'd made. It was so tempting to just end it all...The only thing staying his hand was the thought of getting revenge on the Lord Regent...

 _"Get real Dipper. Your a 12 year-old boy; and he's the most powerful man in the land...what can you do to him?"_

" **It's not as far fetched a notion as you think."** Stated the ghostly apparition of Ford.

 **GAH!**

Cried out Dipper in alarm. " **Right; long story short: Killed Bill; now I'm the new Outsider. Now are you just going to keep gawking or don't you want revenge?"** Asked Ford as he gave Dipper his mark...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	84. Of the Impossible

**Tales of the falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

Dipper ran at the cliff edge. He was going to do it! He was going to prove he was a man! He jumped off the cliff...soared through the air...and fell short of the other side...

 **(Oh oh oh  
oh oh oh  
oh oh oh)**

Dipper wiped the mud from his eye's. Looked up at the other cliff and sighed...

 **Just a boy with a sling and a stone,  
but the heart of a lion dared him to go.  
To hear the sound of the cynical,  
die out with the sound of the giant's fall.**

Dipper looked at Robbie and Wendy laughing together at the party...and knows that he blew it...

 **Ohhh, oh ohh!  
I dare to believe in incredible things.  
Ohhh, oh ohh!  
I'm ready to go, I'm ready to gooo-oh!**

Dipper watches as Robbie helps Wendy with her black eye and asks her out...

 **Here I am! Lord send me!  
I won't look back, cause I was made  
to be a part, of the, imposs-ible!  
You're God, of the, imposs-ible!**

Dipper cries out in pain as Rummble brutally beats him up...

 **Here I am! Lord send me!  
I won't back down, cause I believe  
You are the God, of the, imposs-ible!  
Here, I, am, send me!**

Dipper walks away sullenly as his sister and supposed best friend mock him for his height...

 **Empty bones and a thirsty soul,  
dreamin' for more than the life I have known.  
'Til I tasted a burning coal,  
and my guilt was erased, and my sin was atoned!**

Dipper sighs as Mr. poolcheck strips him of his whistle and fires him...

 **Ohhh, oh ohh!  
I dare to believe in incredible things.  
Ohhh, oh ohh!  
I'm ready to go, I'm ready to gooo-oh!**

Dipper feels his heart break as Wendy yells at him and storms off...

 **Here I am! Lord send me!  
I won't look back, cause I was made  
to be a part, of the, imposs-ible!  
You're God, of the, imposs-ible!**

Dipper stares in disbelief as Gideon kicks them out of the shack and begins to tear it down...

 **Here I am! Lord send me!  
I won't back down, cause I believe  
You are the God, of the, imposs-ible!  
Here, I, am, send me!**

Dipper watches helplessly as Gideon's robot walks away with Mabel. Gideon was right...No Book...No Brains...No Brawn...He was useless. Thought Dipper as he walked into the woods defeated...

 **Ohhh, oh ohh!  
I dare to believe in incredible things.  
Ohhh, oh ohh!  
cause you're the God of the impossible.**

 **Ohhh, oh ohh!  
I dare to believe in incredible things.  
Ohhh, oh ohh!  
I'm ready to go, I'm ready to gooo-oh!**

ARRRGH! Roared Dipper as he jumped off the cliff...and smashed through the Gideon bots eye...

 **Here I am! Lord send me!  
I won't look back, cause I was made  
to be a part, of the, imposs-ible!  
You're God, of the, imposs-ible!**

"Let go of my sister!" Shouted Dipper as he pummeled Gideon...

 **Here I am! Lord send me!  
I won't back down, cause I believe  
You are the God, of the, imposs-ible!  
Here, I, am, send me!**

Dipper and Mabel screamed as they and the Gideon Bot went flying through the air...

 **(Send me!)  
Send me!  
(Send me!)  
Send me!**

"Mabel, that was amazing!" "Not as amazing as you defeating that robot!" Shouted Mabel as she and Dipper descended down on the grappling hook...

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: the song is 'God of the impossible' by 'Everfound'**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me, Christ be with you.  
**


	85. Infamous Falls

**Tales of the falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...Response...

Guest: I don't hate her, I simply dislike the direction they took her character in cannon. That girl needs tough love.

...

 **Activation plus six minutes. Pulse is 45. Respiration is 10.**

 **Looking good Dipper...You too Wendy.**

… **...**

Dipper groaned, everything hurt. _What happened...wait...Stan needed...needed a delivery...So me and Wendy-_ Dipper paled. Wendy! Where was she!?

He then heard a groan beside him, he turned around and saw Wendy. She was pretty banged up...But otherwise she seemed fine.

Breathing a sigh of relief. Dipper quickly helped her up and together they limped to...well they didn't really know where they were going...but anywhere was better then here! It looked like WWIII had gone through there!

Suddenly a spot-light shined on them. The helicopter loudspeaker shouted down on them and told them to head for the bridge. Not knowing what else to do, they comply.

 **Dipper! Wendy! Anybody! Please, Please pick up!**

Mabel's panicked screaming came over loud and clear over the walkie talkie. Dipper quickly pushed it to his face. "M-mabel? What's going on? I-I think there was an explosion?"

 **No Kidding there was an explosion! TV says terrorists are blowing stuff up all over town! Meet us at the bridge! We'll find Soos and Grunkle Stan and find someplace to hunker down!**

"We'll see you there!" Shouts Dipper. He puts the walkie up and struggles to lug the barely conscious Wendy near a tangled mess of power transformers-

 **ZAP!**

 **GAH!**

WENDY! Shouted A horrified Dipper as energy jumped from the wires to electrocute the woman he loves...Only for her to still be standing like it was no problem!?

"Wendy...Are you okay?" Asked a confused Dipper. Wendy looked at herself, equally confused. "Yeah...I'm fine...In fact I feel great!"

Oddly enough...she was right! Not only was she not dead...All her injuries were healed as well! Dipper was dumbstruck, but he shook his head. "Whatever, we'll figure this out later! Right now, we need to get to the others!" Wendy nodded. And together they ran to the bridge where the others were waiting for them...And a very different Gravity Falls...

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	86. Wendy is naked

**Tales of the falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...Response...

MysterD47: got it, loved it!

...

 **AN: I have a new job! Which is great..but I probably won't write as much as I used to, just a heads up!**

...

It was a dark and murky day in the borg swamp...things croaked...right before they got eaten...and then those things got eaten...Yep...just another typical forg-eat-frog day...

 **BOOM!**

Out from the muck erupted a fearsome slugborg! It's razor sharp jaws trying to rip apart Samurai Wendy! But Wendy was tough! She held her ground, grasped the jaws and used her considerable strength to keep them from making a meal out of her!

Suddenly the beast dived back into the murky swamp, taking the red-head down with it...for a moment...silence returned...

Then Wendy's head broke out of the filthy water...she gasped thankfully for a breath of air...then quickly looked around to check her surroundings...

 **BOOM!**

And now the beast was behind her! Quickly Wendy swam away-

 **SNAP!**

But the beast was too quick! It extended it's neck rapidly and snapped it's jaws on her once more! Dragging her down into the murk yet again! Wendy once more broke the surface- Only to suddenly find herself on the creatures head!

The beast shook, squirmed, and dived around, desperate to get shake her off into it's hungry jaws!

Finally, Wendy drew out her sword and just as the beast dove into the murk again- SHE STRUCK!

Once again...silence reigned in the swamp...nothing, nowhere seemed to move at all...

 **ZAP!**

Then the monster emerged once more...it's body sparking where the sword pierced it...for a moment it stood in defiance of the grievous damage caused to it's person...but finally...it succumbed...and sank back into the murky depths from whence it came...forever silenced...

Wendy groaned as she dragged her aching body out of the swamp. _"That is the LAST time I take directions from a talking beagle."_ Thought the teenager to herself annoyed...

She then took a whiff of herself, and nearly passed out! She was rank! Fortunately, their was a waterfall nearby...

She ditched her clothes and sword and savored the feel of water trickling down her body as the waterfall washed her clean...

...

 _"You need to get her stuff to sell to keep you and your sister from starving, which you can only do if you keep eyes on her at all times to make sure she doesn't spot you...keeping yourself and your sister from starving dose NOT make you a pervert."_

A flustered 12-year old Dipper Pines repeated this in his head over and over again as he watched the cute red-headed teen bathe, while cautiously moving toward her discarded gear...

Making sure that his white rabbit camouflage was still secure...he swiped the gear while she was still relaxing by the waterside...

"HEY, MY CLOTHES!"

Dipper cursed himself, as he quickly fled with all her stuff... _"I'm a white rabbit running from a naked Samurai teenage girl...it's like were one Rabbi away from a bad bar joke."_

Joked Dipper desperately as he tried very hard not to be caught by the enraged red-head...

...

"GET BACK HERE YOU STUPID RABBIT!"

Screamed an angry and embarrassed Wendy, bad enough her sword was taken- But to end up buck naked as well- No, she was going to make stew out of that stupid rat!

Wendy saw the rabbit jump into a bush-

"GOT YOU!"

She shouted as she jumped forward into the bush...only to keep falling!?

"I HATE MY LIFE!"

Screamed the naked Teen as she literally fell down the rabbit hole...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	87. Bad Begining 11 inspired by GojiraCipher

**Tales of the falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...Responses...

MysterD47: I like it!...oh yeah, the one's where Lincoln get's his trunks ripped off by crabs and Marco ends up outside naked?

...

 **AN: this story was inspired by GojiraCipher. Give HIS stories a read! Their good!**

...

Dipper grumbled as he walked naked down the sidewalk. Wearing nothing but a backpack and Wendy's hat, he was too furious to even bother covering himself...

"Dipper wait!" Dipper turns around and irritably glares at Emma, Maize, and Ivy. "What do you want?" He demanded, hands folded across his chest.

Emma sighed, "Look Dipper...you made some good points back their...but frankly even if you hadn't, it in no way excuses what we just did to you... It was completely uncalled for and- Sweet, upside down cake how small is your dick?!" Exclaimed a flustered Emma in sudden amazement.

His anger finally submitting to embarrassment, Dipper sighed as he promptly turned his backpack around to cover his crotch. "Great apology, you should make a career of this." Says an annoyed Dipper sarcastically.

Emma groans, Ivy steps in- while making sure to keep her eyes from straying below his face - 'Sorry, okay? Were trying to say were sorry...but we REALLY need you here! It's getting dark and we have no idea how to get home! If you help us...I SWEAR will make it all up to you...please!" She pleaded.

Dipper was annoyed at the sheer gal of these girls..but...

Dipper sighed, "Your lucky I hate leaving girls hurt and alone..." Dipper shuddered...too many bad memories...

The girls thanked him, Dipper brushed this off and just asked where their homes are.

"Oh, our home is just an RV it should be parked at Eastwood trailer park-

"Wait, I'm sorry...you ALL live together?"

"Uh...yeah...were sisters."

Dipper just looks at them blankly, "Uhhhh...

"OUR MOM HAD AN ACTIVE SOCIAL LIFE, OKAY!?" They all snapped annoyed.

Dipper wisely decided to drop the subject...justified anger or not, their was some minefield's you just didn't step in...

Who turns around to look at the neighborhood to get his bearings, he knew he was basically mooning the three girls...but unless he wanted his crotch exposed he didn't have any other option.

 _"Okay...where are we? Let's see...Burk's pizza joint...Carl's auto-repair...a bunch of monsters attacking drivers during Rush-hour- WAIT, WHAT!?"_

Sure enough...the town was in ruins...and monsters were everywhere!

To any other kid, this would've been a nightmare...but Dipper...he was just annoyed. "It's Taco Tuesday all over again." He says out-loud as he puts his backpack back into a more optimal fighting position- modesty be fracked!

"Wha?" Asks all three flustered girls suddenly...they'd been too busy admiring Dipper's rear view to see what was happening...and unfortunately for Dipper...these girls WERE other kids...

They immediately screamed and ran, 'Wait, dang it, no! We need to stick together!" Dipper groans as he runs after them, "Dang rookies." He grouses as he runs after them-

 **HOKAHEY!**

The girls screamed as they dodged the zombie tribal chief's (Actually, it was a zombie of a third-rate Indian impersonator, who died due to a headdress malfunction. But that's neither here nor there...)war-club.

Dipper calmly took out his shrink-light and made the guys club shrink to ant size, the Chief was so surprised that Dipper was able to get behind and smack his head off-

Most zombies would be tougher...but this guy was just a beginner boss(-plus all the other zombie mojo was being used against Wendy, so he was extra drained.), so he fell pretty easily.

All three girls watched the naked boy who just an hour ago they hated with a deep passion...kill a monster like it was a hose-fly!

"W-who are you?" Asked Emma with Stars in her eyes -her sisters equally star struck-

Dipper calmly raided the corpse...nothing much...save for some spare machine parts and some glowey gem-like tokens...and a loincloth.

Dipper turns to the girls, adjusts Wendy's trappers hat and puts the loincloth on like a badass. "I'm the guy who's going to keep you three alive." He said dramatically-

 **BOOM!**

Right before his loincloth exploded, Dipper screamed in pain as he curled up in a fetal-position to clutch his now ruined genitals while blubbering like a baby...The girls just watched stunned...

Nearby an invisible Slenderman laughs as he tosses away the detonator, **"Oh, don't look at me like that! You laughed and you know it!"** He said to the audience accusingly...

He then turns to D. Caste Raider and his gang, **"You know what you have to do..."** The mad outlaw just laughed, saluted...and got to work...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	88. Wendy Phantom 2

**Tales of the falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

Dipper Pines would like to say that it was the concept of a woman being tortured before a mocking crowd that first got his attention...but who was he kidding? It was the fact it was an older girl naked- What? he's a pre-teen boy going on to be a teenager! Don't judge him!

But the concept of a woman being tortured before a mocking crowd was DEFINITELY the second thing he noticed...he took out the journal he found in the woods a day or so ago and found a spell to see if she was really okay, the moment he cast the diagnostic spell-

 **"HELP ME! HELP ME! I'M IN AGONY! PLEASE, HELP ME!"**

The screams coming from this girls mind were so great...Dipper's ears started to bleed! Dipper was seriously considering chopping off his ears before the spell ceased...

"Uh, Bro-Bro? You okay?" Asked his sister Mable concerned. Dipper lied, told her he was fine and quickly made an excuse to go to the restroom...Dipper washed off the blood and thought about what just happened...something horrible was happening to that poor girl..and he needed to find out what!

He immediately dismissed telling Stan or Mable anything..they never believed him about anything...not quite believing what he was doing...Dipper bravely snuck around the carnival grounds...until he got near the ringmasters trailer...

"Chop, chop everyone! This town ain't going to hypnotize itself!" Shouted the ringmaster. Dipper's eyes widened as the performers turned out to be ghosts disguised as carnies...and apparently were under a hypnotic trance!

Dipper quickly read through the journal for anything regarding hypnosis...finally, he found a spell to give one immunity from hypnosis for 24 hours, Dipper quickly cast it on himself...but it was exhausting to cast it...he'd only have enough strength in him to cast it one more time...

Shaking off his fatigue, he saw that the ringmaster and his goons had left for the big top...Dipper quickly ran into he ringmasters office...he found they key to Wendy's cage...while he was their he decided to take the ringmasters money, several of his more exotic tomes of the supernatural...and a weird looking triangular ruby...he didn't know why...but he felt like it was important...

He snuck back to the big top just in time to see Freakshow release Wendy from her trance and gloat over what was about to happen...

Dipper barely held himself together as Freakshow laughed at Wendy's pain...finally he left...and that was Dipper's que to enter...

Dipper introduced himself and promised to get her out, he brought out the key and went toward the door-

Wendy just shook her head, "No, listen to me! Just run! It may not look it, but I'm still very much under his control! Even if you open the door, I'd be unable to leave! His hypno-command forbids it!"

Dipper sighed and pulled out his journal. "I have a spell here that will make you immune to hypnosis for 24 hours...but it'll leave me to exhausted to do anything...never mind carry you out of here" He admitted conflicted...

Wendy's eyes widened...for the first time in over a year...she felt hope...

"Okay, don't worry about that...just get rid of his hold on me...and I should be able to get us out of here..."

Dipper looked unsure...but knowing it was only a matter of time before the Ringmaster returned...he knew he had little choice...he took a deep breath, and unlocked the cage...then cast the spell...he then fell to his hands and knees exhausted...

Wendy quickly hobbled out of the cage and grabbed Dipper...and together...they went invisible...and flew!

"Wha- what's...are you an angle?" Asked a weary Dipper exhausted. Despite the situation...Wendy couldn't help but chuckle. "Yes Dipper, I'm an angle. All us angel's are buck-naked." Teased Wendy sarcastically.

Oh, yes. Wendy had not been idle during her imprisonment...every spare minute she had...she used to get a handle on her 'ghost half'...yes, through and through...she was a freaking Corduroy!

Now Wendy knew that this was the part of the story where she took revenge on her captors and saved her dads livelihood...but that wasn't going to happen...She was on her last leg, she was carrying a tuckered out kid, ghost freak had a gang of hoodlums on his side, oh and let's not forget that she was NAKED.

No...their was no happy ending here...the best she could do...was break even...she floated out of the fairground...until she finally collapsed safely and far enough away that no one could find them...and while Freakshow burned/pillaged the entire town enraged over the loss of his 'prize'...Wendy cuddled up with her equally unconscious savior...and had her first good night sleep in over a year...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	89. Mable get's clever

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

MysterD47: I liked the ideas you gave, but something was wrong with the link you gave me for that 'hilarious one-shot idea', it didn't send me to anything, i just got a 'not found'. Could you send it to me again? and maybe some other details about it to help me find it just in case?

...…...

"-Look. I did the math. In any other timeline, Wendy ends up going out with Robbie. I can't mess up this day again!" Explained Dipper. Mabel is about to lose it!

Suddenly, she gets an idea. "What if I can guarantee that Robbie won't be a problem?" She asks flatly. Dipper looks at her confused...yet intrigued...

…...

 **SLAM!**

"Wha- No! Officers! I swear, I didn't touch her!" Pleaded Robbie as he was slammed and spread out on the police cars trunk.

Blubs shook his head. "Nice try, scumwad! But we got an anonymous tip about what you did! And she has a black eye! In Gravity Falls, that's all the evidence we need to put behind bars for life!" Robbie pales while Wendy tries to defend him.

"Officers! He never touched me! Honest! It was a-"

"Let me guess, you ran into a door?" Asks Durland sarcastically.

"No! A baseball!" Blubs rolls his eyes. "Okay, now your not even trying!"

"It's okay sweetie! You don't have to hide your pain! He can't hurt you anymore!" Assures Durland.

"No! Really! It was my fault-"

"NO IT ISN'T!" Screamed Durland. IT'S NEVER YOUR FAULT! NEVER LET HIM MAKE YOU THINK OTHERWISE!"

Blubs glares at Robbie as he takes out his nightstick. "You know what? Frak the Bill of Rights! Scum like you don't deserve it's protection!"

Nearby, a horrified Dipper paled as he watched Robbie get every bone in his body broken(which gave Blendin the perfect opportunity to take the tapemeasure back).

Mabel giggled as she cuddled Waddles. "Isn't this great!? It's a Happy ending all around!"

Dipper gives her an incredulous look. "Mabel, you framed Robbie for a crime he didn't commit and now he's being-"

-IT'S A HAPPY ENDING!

Screamed an insistent Mabel...

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	90. Gear Falls

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

MysterD47: Yeah, I got it...looks promising, but I'm having a bit of a hard time thinking of a story that goes with it...so it might take awhile...

...

 _"I wonder what the brass wants now?"_ Wonders Marcus Fenix as he, Dominic Santiago(or Dom for short), Augustus Cole, and Damon Baird walks to the meeting room...

…...

"-Gentleman, tell me what you see here." Asked Victor Hoffman. Marcus looks at the screens...but all he sees is a bunch of Locust marching around-

"-Their avoiding it!" Said Baird suddenly. The others looked at him confused.

Hoffman nodded. "That's right, we've confirmed that this area is considered "unholy" by the locust. They are deathly afraid of it and will go out of their way to walk miles around it."

"Why?" Asked Dom.

Hoffman smiled. "That's what your going to find out. Gentleman...you going to Gravity Falls..."

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	91. Hello, my name is---

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

Stan Pines was quietly pricing-up the merchandise when-

 **Whoa oh ah oh ah oh oh (ah oh),  
Whoa oh ah oh ah oh oh (ah oh),  
Whoa oh ah oh ah oh oh**

"Wha- Who's there!?" Shouted a panicky Stan as a strange masked creature materialized in front of him-

 **Hello, my name is regret  
I'm pretty sure we have met**

(Pauses to show a vision of Stan knocking Ford into the Portal)

 **Every single day of your life  
I'm the whisper inside  
That won't let you forget**

"Leave me alone you crazy whatever!" Shouts Stan as he runs out of the room only to crash into Dipper who's being chased by a similar creature.

 **Hello, my name is defeat  
I know you recognize me**

(Pauses to show a vision of Gideon wining the deed and kicking them out of the Shack)

 **Just when you think you can win  
I'll drag you right back down again  
'Til you've lost all belief**

"What are they!?" Screamed Dipper. "Just run!" Shouted Stan.

 **Oh, these are the voices. Oh, these are the lies  
And I have believed them for the very last time**

"Get away from me!" Shouts Wendy as she slices the strange creature with an ax...only for it to reform and keep singing!

 **Hello, my name is child of the one true King  
I've been saved, I've been changed, I have been set free  
"Amazing Grace" is the song I sing  
Hello, my name is child of the one true King**

"I leave everything to Waddles!" Shouts a frightened Mabel as she cowers away from the creature.

 **Whoa oh ah oh ah oh oh  
Whoa oh ah oh ah oh oh  
Whoa oh ah oh ah oh oh**

"Don't make me use this!" Shouts Soos as he brandishes a plunger.

 **I am no longer defined  
By all the wreckage behind  
The one who makes all things new  
Has proven it's true  
Just take a look at my life**

"Why won't you die!?" Shouts Ford as his lasers continue to prove ineffective.

 **Hello, my name is child of the one true King  
I've been saved, I've been changed, I have been set free  
"Amazing Grace" is the song I sing  
Hello, my name is child of the one true King**

"Eat lead!" Shouts Stan as he fires...only to find out that they actually eat lead!

 **Whoa oh ah oh ah oh oh (ah oh),  
Whoa oh ah oh ah oh oh (ah oh),  
Whoa oh ah oh ah oh oh**

"Super secret glitter attack!" Screams Mabel!

 **What love the Father has lavished upon us that we should be called His children  
I am a child of the one true King**

DIE!

 **What love the Father has lavished upon us that we should be called His children**

Death from above!

 **Hello, my name is child of the one true King  
I've been saved, I've been changed, I have been set free  
"Amazing Grace" is the song I sing  
Hello, my name is child of the one true King**

Fire in the hole!

 **Whoa oh ah oh ah oh oh (ah oh),  
Whoa oh ah oh ah oh oh (ah oh),  
Whoa oh ah oh ah oh oh**

 **I am a child of the one true King**

 **Whoa oh ah oh ah oh oh (ah oh),**  
 **Whoa oh ah oh ah oh oh (ah oh),**  
 **Whoa oh ah oh ah oh oh...**

The mystery Shack gang pant from exhaustion as they finally drove the musical creatures out of the Shack.

"If I told you once, if I've told you a thousand times- STOP MIXING YOUR CHOCOLATE WITH MY PEANUT BUTTER!" Screamed Stan as he chastised a repentant Mabel.

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: The song is 'Hello my name is' by Matthew West**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	92. Wendy is naked 2

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **AN: this story is a reward to FunnyTina677 for doing my challenge  
**

...

Wendy groaned after hitting the ground, she slowly lifted herself off the ground-

 **VROOM!**

Just in time to spot a weird car thundering toward her! Adrenaline taking over, she quickly gets to her feet. The driver promptly wolf-whistles and crashes his car into a fire hydrant because he's too busy gaping at her.

Remembering her nudity, Wendy quickly covered herself embarrassed, only to be forced to uncover to doge another car-

 **CRASH!**

Which was also quick to crash due to the driver being 'distracted' by Wendy-

 **CRASH!**

Yet another 'distracted' driver-

 **CRASH!**

And another!

 **CRASH!**

And another!

 **CRASH!**

And another!

 **CRASH!**

And...well, you get the idea-

 **CRASH!**

 **CRASH!**

 **CRASH!**

 **CRASH!**

 **CRASH!**

 **CRASH!**

 **CRASH!**

 **CRASH!**

 **CRASH!**

 **CRASH!**

 **CRASH!**

 **CRASH!**

"And this is why men shouldn't drive, yah deviants!" Shouted an enraged pedestrian Nonna...

...

Dipper watched from the sidelines, unable to believe his luck. "YES! I can escape undetected while she's busy dodging traffic...or get run over...and die...because I lead her here..."

Dipper groaned and ran to help her, "GAH! I HATE being the good guy!" He shouts to himself frustrated!

...

Wendy panted in exhaustion as she kept up dodging..but it was getting ugly, their was a one hundred car pile-up all around her! Their was no more room for her to maneuver or run! She saw the sixty cars coming at her...and prayed to her ancestors for a painless end...

 **BOOM!**

Wendy frowned at the noise...and the fact she wasn't mangled...she looked around and saw that all the cars and wreckage were being lifted away from her by a mobile crane magnet. She turned to it just in time to see...the white Rabbit jump out of the control seat!?

"Hey, you! Come back!" Shouts Wendy as she chases after the Rabbit-

 **CRASH!**

Only to smack right into a man with a mask, cigar, striped shirt, and large sack! "Hey why don't you watch where your- NAKED!?" Shouted the man happily as he gives an excited wolf-whistle...and then gets an idea!

"Here you go, Joe! You clearly need this more then me!" Shouts the guy as he throws the sack to Wendy. "Wait, what!?" Shouted an embarrassed Wendy.

"Where'd he go!?" Shouts an angry mob coming out of a nearby alley.

"There she is!" Shouts the robber pointing at Wendy. "She's the thief! And she's a pervert too!" Shouts the Robber.

Wendy looks at him in disbelief, "Oh, please!" She snorted dismissively. "Your dressed like a stereotypical crook, how stupid do you think people-

"GET THE PERVERT!" Screams the Mob as they run after Wendy!

"Oh, come on!" Shouts a flustered Wendy as she's forced to run naked through the streets with everyone laughing/yelling/wolf-whistling at her...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	93. Gravity Dust

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

Dipper was excited! After the gnome incident he'd been combing that strange book he found! And it told him that if he went to a special wall outside of town, and drew a hole on it, splashed some expired milk, and said a certain incantation...then a doorway to another world would open! Barely containing his enthusiasm he starts to summon the portal...

…...

Meanwhile in the "Other World" (A.K.A. Stormhold). The king was about to take his last breath. But a problem had arose...of his 13 sons...there still remained 7. Septimus, Primus, Secundus, Tertius, Quartus, Quintus, and Sextus(despite each of their best efforts) were all still alive! This forced the king to choose his heir in a more...unorthodox way. Soon the royal ruby was diluted and sent to the sky where it crashed into a star which then fell to earth...right where a certain portal was about to open...

…...

now, ordinarily when a star came in contact with our world...it immediately died...however going through the portal before it properly stabilized had a one-in-a-million effect on it's unique Bio-chemistry that kept it from dying...Although not without great cost...

…...

One moment dipper was entranced with watching the portal activate- Suddenly it exploded! Dipper found himself thrown violently away. Slowly dipper crawled back to the origin point of the explosion. What he saw took his breath away. In the middle of the crater was a beautiful red-headed girl...who was naked. Dipper blushed. But quickly took off his coat and shirt to conceal her. Where had she come from? He wondered. Then shook his head. He'd worry about that latter! Now, he needed to get her indoors. Quickly! As he picked up the book. Something else caught his eye...it looked like a diamond! He quickly reached down to pick it up...

…...

The king of Stormhole and his sons were speechless...the royal rubies twin had just been restored! It's brother had found an heir! And they hadn't even left the room! "Well...that's unexpected." Said the king...

…...

Meanwhile a coven of witches was waking form their long slumber...A new star had fallen...And they were starving...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	94. Christmas Time is killing us!

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

Dipper was very disconcerted. When he, his sister and friends found a secret door to the north pole in Gravity falls...they'd been expecting a lot of things...but they hadn't been expecting this!

They expected gumdrops and candy canes, instead they found factories and pollution...

They expected a fat and jolly st. nick instead they found a thin, sickly, withered old man...

And when they introduced themselves, they expected leaping for joy at the idea

nice kids coming to visit him and inviting them in for cookies an early gifts...instead..."Oh, Frack me! Like I don't have enough on my plate delivering those stupid toys!"

"Wait...you don't like delivering gifts?" asked a confused Wendy. Santa sneered and rolled his eyes. "Oh, of course I do. Who doesn't love delivering a million gifts to a billion people all in one night?" said Santa sarcastically.

"Huh, when he puts it like that it dose seem unpleasant." Admitted Soos sagely with a nod.

"B-but your santa...aren't you suppose to be happy and jolly?" Asked a confused and slightly horrified Mable.

Santa let out a sad sigh. "I used to be, a long time ago. I made toys for little boys and girls. I loved my work, and they loved me. But it just got out of hand. The world's population kept growing and growing. Kids wanted more toys, fancier toys! We used to make wooden choo-choos and rag dolls. You ever try to make an iPod?! I've got orders for millions of 'em!"

Everyone suddenly turned to look at Tambry who was currently fiddling with her iPod. Suddenly feeling awkward and ashamed, she slowly put it away...Santa shook his head in disgust as he gestured to his factories.

"Look at the toxic waste we're producing. In fact, I think the toxins are taking even more of a toll than the inbreeding!"

I-inbreeding?" Cautiously asked a very frightened Dipper. Santa threw open the doors "Take a look!" Shouted santa. The group gazed in horror as a group of hideously deformed elves did back-breaking labor that even sweatshops would consider cruel.

Santa lead them further inside. "I started with one family of magic elves, but every year I needed more and more to keep up. Now they're just a sickly race of mutated genetic disasters. At least 60% of them are born blind."

At that moment an elf nailed his hand to a toy...and screamed in agony!

"The workload destroys them, but they don't know anything else. It's gotten so bad their instincts take over, and near the end, they just walk out into the snow and die."Said Santa as the group watched in disgust and disbelief as one elf did just that. Before anyone could move to help him-

 **ROAR!**

A herd of reindeer jumped from the darkness and ripped the elf to pieces. Several of the kids began to vomit. All the while Santa continued his tale- "Then the reindeer eat them, which has turned the reindeer into wild, feral creatures with a blood-lust for elf flesh. I don't even pray for them anymore. Seems pointless. What God would allow this?"

"B-but this is in none of the poetry and songs!" shouted the devastated Mable. She then turned to Santa. "How could

you let this happen?!" "Me?!" Shouted an outraged Santa. "I didn't do this! Christmas did!"

…...

 **(DRAMTIC MUSIC STARTS)**

 **Each bell would peal with a silvery zeal as the holiday feeling was filling us!  
But now instead, all we are feeling is dread,  
Because Christmas Time is Killing Us!  
**

 **Each Christmas List gets us more and more pissed,  
Until the thought of existence is chilling us  
**

 **I'll tell you what, shove your list up your butt!  
Because Christmas Time is Killing Us!**

Mable desperately tries to save the situation, by getting into the song.

 **But can't you see that all you do, is a dream come true?  
Can't you see that every smile makes it all worth while?**

Santa simply shouts back-

 **No, screw you! it's all but through, there's too much to do!  
All those dreams are nightmares, and blank icy stairs!**

 **Each little elf used to fill up a shelf making playthings and selflessly thrilling us  
Now they're on crack and it feels like Iraq  
Because Christmas Time is Killing Us!  
**

 **Each model train only heightens the pain of the workload that's straining and drilling us  
**

 **Fingers all bleed, and look that guy just peed  
Because Christmas Time is Killing Us!**

Once more Mable enters the song with the hope of brightening the situation.

 **But can't you see from our point of view? We rely on you!  
Can't you see that Christmas cheer, gets us through the year? **

Santa just sighs-

 **My whole crew is black and blue, can't you take a clue?  
You may think I look great, but I'm 28!  
Each jingle bell is a requiem knell,  
And while you think it's swell we are toiling in hell!  
Take a look, you can tell, as a man, I'm a shell  
Because Christmas Time is Killing Us!  
KILLING US!  
BECAUSE CHRISTMAS TIME IS KILLING US!**

The Elves finish the last verse by mass-hanging themselves-

… **...**

with the song finished. Santa then coughs up a galleon of blood, collapses, and is rushed to the infirmary stage right...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	95. Bad Begining 12 inspired by GojiraCipher

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

...Responses...

WenDip and Pinecest: fine, yes I got it from somewhere else- it's from family guy, they own the music. But I no longer recommend watching it, it's gotten terrible.

...

 **AN: This story was inspired by GojiraCipher. Give his stories a read! Their good!**

...

Pain...that was all Mable knew...it was pain...the rorschach blots burnt into her retina's...her fillings tasted of copper and blood. Her head felt like it was going to explode...like a water balloon filled too high and about to burst.

Mable gags on her tongue and vomits out a strange black liquid ...were they going to Finally let her die?

...No such luck...she was in a room...the same room as when she entered...but the morphogenic engine was smashed...the camcorder used to record her was on the ground with it's tripod...and their was red gunk everywhere...

 _"Not red gunk...blood."_ She realized to herself drowsily. Now she wasn't as big a horror movie buff as Dipper...but she knew enough to know something horrible had happened here...and she needed to get out FAST.

She briefly checked to make sure what little scraps of clothing she had was still -barely- concealing her modesty...then grabbed the one blunt object within reach...the camcorder tripod...as for the camcorder herself...brief memories of ...of...her brother? Why- why couldn't she remember his name!?

Mable nearly had a panic attack. But days facing Gravity Falls horrors had given her a bit of steel to her...so she calmed down...remembered the various cameras her brother had her hold to record his activities...specifically the one's that had night vision...and that this was one of those types...

With both objects now in hand...Mable stumbled out into the hallway...

"Wall flowers, pretty flowers." Muttered a voice behind her. Mable whirled around the camcorder allowing her to see a malnourished and deformed figure behind her...and then stalks past her...

"Fucking...I'll open you up." Mable whimpered...but he kept walking to the end of the hallway... "Open you up and show you." He puts his hand on the terminal, "Make you purr, wait right there."

The door hissed open...the 'man turned book and looked at Mable...an unreadable expression on his bloody face...

Not wanting to press her luck, Mable quickly muttered a frightful 'thanks' to him as she ran through the door...and into the labyrinth of lies and nightmares the Asylum had become...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	96. Kingdom falls

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

Destiny island...a peaceful, idyllic place...to be bored! And it was this among other reasons that local rebellious teenagers: Wendy, Robbie, Nate, Lee, and Thompson were building a raft to leave this stinking island and travel until they find adventure and fortune...or until their supplies run low and they have to come back...whichever comes first.

It had taken several months but the raft was finally complete! All they needed was to wait for tomorrow to get their last scrap of supplies-

"Guys! Guys! I'm here! I'm packed!" Everyone turned around and saw 12 year old Dipper Pines running up the trail toward them. Robbie face palmed in annoyance. "Oh, for the love of- Dang it Wendy! You were supposed to tell your love-struck puppy that he wasn't coming with us!

Wendy bit her nail nervously... "Look...would it really be so bad if he came with us? I mean he was the one who deciphered the map that made this whole trip possible!"

Robbie rolled his eyes. "We don't even know if that map is for real or not! Besides, even it is; there's no way I'm babysitting a little twerp while he makes goo-goo eyes at you!" Lee nervously coughs. "The thing is Wendy...we barely have enough supplies for the six of us...forget about seven!" Nate also puts in his two cents. Not to mention it'll be a miracle of this raft doesn't capsize with just our weight...never mind more!"

Tambry also pipped up. "Besides Wendy...I know you don't want to hurt his feelings...but you've strung him along for way too long...it's time to be honest with him!" She says honestly.

Wendy sighs. "Right...be honest." She wanted to laugh out loud. How could she be honest with him, when she could be honest with herself! For a moment she toyed with just telling him what she felt for him ever since they shared that Paopu Fruit together...But then reality hit...A relationship with a 12 year old? Her friends, the people she'd known since she was little...they'd never understand! They'd leave her!...she didn't know if she could live with herself if they left her! Besides...a relationship between the two of them...it would never work out! She rationalized to herself...Really it was better if he found someone his own age...She'd even help him!

 _Yeah...that's what I'll do._ She says to herself ignoring the painful longing in her heart. She turns around and watches the ever enthusiastic Dipper running toward the beach. She groans. _I hate this..._ Suddenly she feels a hand on her shoulder. She turns around to see Robbie. He smiles at her. "Hey, I can see your not looking forward to this...So how about I take him aside and let him down for you?" Wendy frowned...it was tempting...but. "I don't know...shouldn't this come from me?" Robbie chuckles. "Come on, do you really want to do this?"

Before she could say anything, Dipper showed up. One look at the joyful smile of one of the best things to ever enter her life...and she knew Robbie was right...she couldn't do it. She knew she was chickening out...But maybe it'll be better if he hears it from a guy? She justifies weakly to herself...

After briefly whispering to Robbie to 'break it to him gently', she tells Dipper that Robbie has something important he needed to tell him in private. Dipper is confused...but predictably dose what Wendy asks...

…...

Later, Robbie returns...with the supplies they need! Tambry looked at this confused. "How- "I paid Tidus double to get these to us faster." Interrupts Robbie. "Anyway, were ready to go now!" Wendy looks concerned. "Wait, what about-" Robbie waved her off. "I took care of it, he took it pretty hard. But I think he'll be fine."

Wendy sighed, but nodded. She then helped the others pack the supplies, and ready the raft...

None of them saw the sinister smirk that played across Robbie's face...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	97. Gravity Falls: Clone Wars Edition

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...Responses...

jcollet2000: Huh...was actually going to do something else...but now I think I'll do that, thank you!

...

Dipper Pines had had an interesting couple of weeks here in gravity Falls. The people who worked here at his uncles Shack were so nice! There was lovable Soos, Wendy(blush), Cody and his look-alike cousins(he was a little disturbed how gung-ho they were on gunning Gideon down when he had him cornered at the warehouse...but since the brat was about to have his tongue cut out...he wasn't going to feel bad about his death), Anakin(he had real great advice on winning Wendy over!), (his wife?)Padme(who Wendy seems to really like), that palpatine guy(they had long interesting conversations...Yeah, it was turning out to be an interesting summer after all!

…...

Palpatine had mixed feelings about his current situation. A month ago he'd been the supreme chancellor of the senate ready to begin war on the Sepratists...and begin his plan to restore the Sith...

Then that idiot scientist Cave Johnson had to rip open a hole in time and space and strand him, some clones, Anakin, Kenobi, Ashoka, Padme, the entire blasted Jedi council on some backwater planet in the middle of the 'Unknown Region'!

Cave was currently working on that portal downstairs to both bring Stans brother back and send out a message strong enough to get someone, anyone's attention!

In exchange for allowing use of Stans portal and lodgings, they had to work at his Shack(in the non-humans case, they had to work as his freakshow). It was degrading!

Palpatine tried not to focus on the fact that if he didn't return soon his entire plan would be in jeopardy(especially if Doku got ambitious). And tried to focus on the positives(of which their were surprisingly many). This town was filled with many supernatural wonders! Their was technology here capable of things that would boggle the minds of the galaxies greatest scientists! But more importantly...everyone in this town was force sensitive...and their power was greater than even Anakin! But among them, the force was strongest with the Pines twins!

Already, Palpatine was formulating a plan to get the boy as an apprentice(his sister was too much of a wild card). He 'pines' for the Corduroy girl...such a relationship was already familiar to him(he looks toward Anakin and Padme)...and he knew just how to exploit it...

…...

-All I'm saying is that the boy did risk his life and sacrifice his dignity to save you from ghosts." Pointed out Padme to Wendy. "How many boys do you know who'd be willing to do that?"

Wendy frowned. "Well...just him but- "Did you at least thank him for doing that for you?" Well...no, but I lied to save his reputation!" Asserted Wendy.

Padme sighed. "Well, that's good...but you still should have thanked him." Wendy nodded. "Yeah...I should."

Again Padme looks at her new friend and her current situation...and can't help but remember a little slave boy talking to a 'handmaiden' on Tatooine...

"Look Wendy...I'm not asking you to marry him or anything like that...just...just give him a chance...Besides, it's not that big of an age gap; he'll be 13 at the end of the Summer...

Wendy frowned. "Maybe...I'll have to think on it"... Padme nods and leave her be. Wendy looks to a certain boy...and thinks...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	98. Down by the River

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

imperialwar1234: what?

...

Dipper Pines groaned as he dragged himself out of bed to answer the knocking on the front door of the Shack. "Alright, alright I'm coming!" Barks an annoyed Dipper impatiently. He opens the door...just in time to see the aqua hand stop knocking, dissipate and be followed by a tsunami that sweeps him away!

 **I know a place  
Where we can go  
To lay the troubles down eating your soul  
I know a place  
Where mercy flows  
Take the stains make you whiter than snow**

"This is May-May and Ham-Bone in the house!" Shouts Mabel as she and Waddles make fart noises...right before they too are swept away by the water...

 **Like a tide it is rising up  
Deep inside  
A current that moves and makes you come alive  
Living water  
That brings the dead to life**

"Everyman for himself!" Screams Stan as he pushes down a bunch of Nuns and orphans out of the way right before the wave sweeps him up as well...

 **We're goin down to the river  
Down to the river  
Down to the river to pray  
Let's get washed by the water  
Washed by the water  
And rise up in amazing grace  
Let's go down, down, down to the river  
You. will. leave. changed.  
Let's go down, down, down to the river  
Never. The. Same.**

"How did this happen!? I wasn't even at the Shack today!" Shouts Wendy as she struggles to keep herself from drowning in the raging monsoon that is tearing through Gravity Falls...

 **I've seen it move  
In my own life  
Took me from dusty roads into Paradise  
All of my dirt  
All of my shame  
Drowned in the streams that have made me born again**

"I was better off lost in the other dimension!" Shouts Ford as he kills as many water golems as he can...before he too is swept away...

 **Like a tide it is rising up  
Deep inside  
A current that moves and makes you come alive  
Living water  
That brings the dead to life**

"I am so suing you, you stupid storm!" Shouts Pacifica on top of her water logged mansion...right before the the water serpents make it collapse completely...

 **We're goin down to the river  
Down to the river  
Down to the river to pray  
Let's get washed by the water  
Washed by the water  
And rise up in amazing grace  
Let's go down, down, down to the river  
You. will. leave. changed.  
Let's go down, down, down to the river  
Never. The. Same.**

"Drown Thompson! Drown!" Shouts the teens excitedly. "I'll do anything for your approval!" Shouts Thompson as he dives right into the whirlpool...

 **Let's go down  
Let's go down  
Let's go down**

BE FREE RUBBER DUCK FLOATIES! Screams Soos as he frees them...only for them to turn on him and eat his flesh!

 **We're goin down to the river  
Down to the river  
Down to the river to pray  
Let's get washed by the water  
Washed by the water  
And rise up in amazing grace  
Let's go down, down, down to the river  
You. will. leave. changed.  
Let's go down, down, down to the river  
Never. the. same.  
Down  
Let's go down, down, down to the river...**

"Okay good news is: The storm is over and the world is saved." Said Ford to the survivors on the giant make-shift raft. "Bad news...fairly certain were the last humans on this now water-logged planet...So the question is: Who eating who? And who's mating with who?"

All the girls of Gravity Falls(including Wendy, Pacifica, and Tambry) and the nearby Tourist traps in the surrounding area(like Emma Sue) look around to see and realize only 5 guys-

 **SPLASH!**

(Toby Determined is immediately thrown overboard by the girls) -Only 4 guys have survived...

 _Okay, this is either going to end very well or very badly for me..._ Thinks Dipper to himself...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN:** **The song is based on Jordan Feliz's song**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	99. EAT OR BE EATEN

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

Guest: could you be more specific?

...

 **AN: anyone have any ideas for my 100th chapter?...Because I got nothing...**

...

It was a typical morning in gravity falls. Dipper was reading his journal, wendy was slacking off, soos was trying to lick his elbow, and mabel was talking to a squirrel...wait, what?

"Uh, mabel. What are you doing?" asked a concerned dipper. "Dipper, shush! I've finally convince this cute squirel to tell me the meaning of life!"

Wendy looked up from her magazine. "Uh mabel, you do know that squirrels don't-"

She stoped flabergasted as the squirrel had stepped up on the nearest stump and was now singing perfect English.

 _ **The meaning of life has a single rule.  
I know it makes sense, though it may seem cruel.  
The logic of the rule cannot be beaten,  
cause the meaning of life it to eat or be—(CHOMP)**_

out of nowhere a freaky snake had gobbled up the squirrel! What's even freakier is the snake seemed to be continuing the song!

 **the truth my friend was trying to speak is that the meaning of life is to eat or be-(CHOMP)**

And now the snakes been eaten by a creepy bird!...which was now continuing the song!

 **Alas poor snake his life was fleeting for the meaning of life is to eat or be-(CHOMP)**

And now the birds been eaten by a griffin!...who then continues to sing

 **If I may finish what the bird was tweeting, the meaning of life is to eat or be-(CHOMP)**

A giant behemoth has now done in the griffin!

 **I'm sorry if our song just keeps repeating, but the meaning of life is eat or be-**

The beast pauses mid-sentence and briefly looks around...

 **Huh, well I guess the biggest remains unhurt.**

At which point he starts to lick his lips at the sight of the group

 **Which means I have time for dessert**

which is how the group finds themselves running for their lives!

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	100. HAPPY 100! Superior Tennyson

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

Guest: dude, get out of my head.

Superior Tennyson: you got it!

...

 **AN: happy 100th!**

...

"And winning the noble prize for quantum supernatural mechanics for the seventh year in a row- like their was ever any doubt -Dipper Pines!" Shouted the speaker of the Noble Prize Ceremony.

a forty year old Dipper Pines happily climbs up to the stage, shakes the speakers hand and accepts the reward. "Why Dipper, I must say you've REALLY cleaned us out tonight! You must be ecstatic!" Exclaimed the speaker enthusiastically.

Dipper chuckled. "Easy for you to say, I need to carry all this stuff to my car!" Everyone laughed as Dipper pointed out the two ton box of awards he'd won that night.

The speaker also laughed. "Yes...quite. My Dipper...you've had such a grand and prominent career! Discovering the lost continent of Zealandia, making first contact with an actual alien race...then killing that entire race when it tried to kill us!...all in one day no less!"

Dipper smirked. "Oh, that? That wasn't anything spectacular...sorting out the love triangle in my life- THAT was a challenge." Everyone laughed at that, Dipper Pines was infamous for having the hearts of two special girls...then resolving the love triangle by creating a clone of himself!"

Said girls were happily applauding along in the V.I.P. seats. A happily pregnant Wendy Corduroy whooped and hollered, while Pacifica Northwest made out with Tyrone Pines...

Dipper raised the Trophy high in the air and smiled. _"This is my life...everything is going great...taking Ford's apprenticeship was the best move I ever made!"_

...

Deep inside the Peidmount institute for the cloudcuckoolanders...Mable Pines wept at the sight of the TV that showed her former brother...she petted her morbidly obese pig Waddles...her last true friend in the world...well aside from her fifty cats of course.

 _"If Dipper had just been a minute slower...or if I'd handed that rift thingie to blendin a minute quicker...we'd still be together!"_ Wept Mable as she remembered once again the day that Dipper had stopped her deal with blendin, berated her for trying to throw the whole town into a time-loop without their consent for her own selfish reasons...and declaring that he had been considering turning Ford down...but now he was going to accept his apprenticeship for sure!

Mable just wept and wept...

The orderlie outside just shook his head at the whole sight. "If their's a sight more sadder then a co-dependent that's lost their enabler...I haven't seen it." And with that he shrugs and walks away into the night...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	101. X-Falls

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

RasenganFin: If you like...

Superior Tennyson: (shrug) You tell me, it's YOUR story after all

imperialwar1234: ...I have no idea what your talking about

...

It was second grade School picture day. And Mabel Pines was excited. "Boom! A million slap bracelets! I'm gonna have the best photo ever! And how d'you like my new pigtaaailllls?"

"Have fun, brat!" Mocks a snobbish girl as she puts gum in Mabel's hair. All the other kids burst out laughing. Mabel was horrified!

"Ah! Gum! You ruined my hair!" She turns to her brother desperately. "Dipper, what do I do?" Dipper was in a panic! He wanted to help his sister! He loved her! And he hated to see her upset! But-

"Um, well, I, um. I don't...I don't know"... He admitted sadly. Mabel ran away crying. "Mabel!" Screamed Dipper-

And then they stopped...everyone stopped...to be more accurate; everyone froze...time itself froze.

While everyone stood stiff, a corridor of darkness opened up...letting out the most unsavory of creatures.

The creature used it's many long slender limbs to straighten it's business suite and somehow use it's faceless head to drink Coffee.

It looked around and watched the frozen images of a heartbroken little girl run, the girl with the gum laughing at her, and young Dipper Pines looking at the whole thing helpless...

"Oh, what a tragedy!" Exclaimed the monster dramatically. It then chuckles darkly. "Well, what kind of person would I be if I allowed such an injustice go on in front of me?" Asked the creature sardonically.

It then reached over several universes to rip a rib right out of the body of an insane blonde-haired alien that was destroying a planet. It then broke the rib down to it's basic genetic code, taking out one small quirk and saving it for later.

He then entwines the DNA with Dippers. The creature (somehow) frowns. "Hmmm...still missing something"...

It snaps it's fingers. It then reaches over several more universe to a post-apocalyptic wasteland to snatch a weird Drug called Psycho from a drug lab...in a way that made the whole place go up in flames!

It then spritzes a small dose onto Dipper, he then turns him so he's facing the girl who put Gum in Mabel's hair.

The creature laughed as he turned himself invisible to admire his handiwork. TIME IN! He shouts...

…...

Dipper didn't know what happened. One second he was filled with despair watching his sister cry, the next he was looking at the girl who made her cry filled with murderous rage...and now, here he was, standing over the girl...Her face smashed in...her neck bent at an unnatural angle...and all from one punch of Dipper's now bloody fist.

The playground was deathly quiet...Then the screams began. HE KILLED HER! HE'S A MONSTER! WERE NEXT! RUN! Was the cry.

Dipper panicked! "Wha- NO! I'm Sorry! I didn't mean- I'm not a monster! I'm a regular guy! Honest! I-

And that's when he saw it- He had a tail...a monkey tail...

Needless to say, this was too much for Dipper. He ran from the School grounds in tears...While a confused and frightened Mabel could only watch helplessly...

…...

Fortunately; due to the witnesses being hysterical children, their accounts being conflicted and fantastical, Dipper being a minor, and the overall bizarreness of the whole thing...the girls death was ruled as a 'freak accident' and Dipper was let off the hook...

But the rumors persisted...and the town was now scared of the boy. His parents scared of what could happen(but secretly their more scared of Dipper). Decide that it would be best if Dipper lived with his uncle Stan for 'awhile'...

…...

The creature watched as a depressed Dipper entered Gravity Falls. "Finally, the boy has made it to the 'playground'...but he's all alone...I'd best wrangle him some...'playmates'." Said the creature with a cackle...

…...

"Mind if I borrow this?" Asked the creature as it reached over from the portal to rip off one of Perfect Cell's arms...

…...

"Don't mind me, just passing through." Says the creature as it tears off Frieza's liver...

…...

"I'll take that if you don't mind." Said the creature as it unraveled the fabric of Majin Buu's being...

…...

"Got your nose!" Shouts the creature playfully as it rips off Beerus's nose...

…...

Dipper was depressed as he wandered aimlessly through the forest...he'd finally gotten one of his greatest wishes(to be strong)...And he'd killed someone because of it...and not just that...if he pulled the door too roughly it was ripped out of the wall! If he jumped out of bed too quickly he fell straight through the floor...and the floor beneath it! He shook that nice handyman's who works at the Shacks hand, and he broke all his fingers! His parents had been right to send him away...what if he had killed Mabel!?

Dipper was crying, what was he? What was he supposed to do? What-

 **CRACK!**

Dippers eye's widened as he turned around and witnessed a familiar sight...

…...

Wendy cried as she ran through the forest, desperately trying to make sense of what happened...Robbie had pulled her pigtails...she of course had punched back...AND HIS FRACKING HEAD EXPLODED!?

How was that possible? How could she do that!? How could anyone do that!? What was wrong with her-

It was then she tripped. She fell onto her face so hard that she caused a crater a mile wide!

Wendy looked at all the destroyed forest in horror...which wasn't helped when she saw that she had sprouted some freaky, green reptilian tail with a stinger!

This was too much for the young red-head...she curled into a fetal position and sobbed hysterically.

She heard a snap of a twig. She looked up and saw a little boy a couple years younger than her climb into the crater.

"What are you- Little kid! Don't come near me! I'm a freak! I'll kill you! Leave while you can!" She pleaded.

Dipper just looked at her sadly. "It's okay...I think I'll be safe around you." At that moment; what Wendy had assumed to be a fur belt unraveled to reveal a monkey tail...

It be nice to say that over the next several hours they came to terms with what they were and their place in the world...but they didn't...they were still terrified of what they were and what the future had in store for them...

Still...having someone to talk to...Who KNEW what you were going through...who was too strong for you to hurt accidentally...it was nice...it wasn't anything big...but it was still something...

Wendy and Dipper both looked up at the stars together...their tails entwined without their knowledge...

…...

The creature fast forwarded a month or so outside the Northwest manor. It pressed it's ear to the wall.

It smirked. "Ah, the wondrous, unmistakable sound of a little girl being tortured into pavlovian obedience...Okay I'm over it now." It says in a bored tone.

It then pulls out a glob of organs. "Let's see what some Frost Demon genes will do to this powder keg!"

It then caused the stuff to glow and fly inside...A few seconds go by. It taps it's foot. "I'm waiting." It says annoyed-

 **BOOM!**

…...

Pacifica runs through the forest...her once pristine dress in tatters. Behind her was the roaring fire of her home...and her parents...who she had killed...after they tortured her...

Contemplating this messed up chain of events while running...she didn't even notice she'd sprouted a purple reptile tail...

…...

Dipper and Wendy stared at the path of destruction that cut through the forest. "Another one...like us?" Asked Wendy in disbelief. "Only one way to find out." Stated Dipper as he and Wendy followed the trail that would eventually lead them to a frightened blonde girl...

…...

The creature sighed. "Whatever, I'm bored with this now." It said as it absentmindedly threw the last two genomes over it's shoulder where they randomly landed in two people inside gravity falls...

...Several years later...

A 12-year old Mabel Pines lay on her roof and forlornly stared up at the moon...

The Creature chuckled nearby as it held the Oozaru gene that it had withheld from Dipper. "This is too easy." It said as it flicked it on Mabel...

…...

Dipper watched the news report of the destruction of Piedmont with horror. Despite how things went the last time he saw his family, he still loved them!...Especially Mabel...

At that moment their was a rapid knock on the door. Dipper opened it to reveal a filthy Mabel who wore nothing but a paper bag. Before Dipper could say anything, Mabel hugged him and burst into tears...

…...

"Now to really mess things up!" Shouted the creature as it tore the entire Red Ribbon army from one universe and unleashed them onto an unsuspecting earth...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	102. Bad Begining 13 inspired by GojiraCipher

Tales of the Falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **AN: This story was inspired by GojiraCipher. Give his stories a read! Their good!**

...

"Uh...are you girls seeing this?" Asked a confused Pacifica doll as she waddled near the group. "I see it...still working on believing it." Admitted a still naked Dipper. The other two girls could only dumbly stare and nod as well...

They'd made it to the train station...only to find it full of walking, talking Russian stacking dolls of various sizes.

Dipper turned to Grenda and Candy, "I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume this place isn't always like this?" He asked flatly.

The girls shook their heads, "No, I've been here dozens of times and it's usually full of ordinary people." Said Candy. "Yeah, I was here yesterday for taffy! What happened?" Asked a confused Grenda.

Suddenly a train conductor doll waddles up to them, "What 'happened' is a rather rude man in a business suite kidnapped us from our home dimension, slaughtered the previous inhabitants of the station, and threatened to harm us if we don't 'stick to the script' -and before you ask, no it wasn't Bill."

Dipper's eyes widened, "How'd you know I was going to ask-

"I didn't, HE did. And he told me to say that...in any case...your first mission is to get force us conductors out of the lounges and then get the clocks working so we conductors can synchronize our schedules and get the train leaving to your next destination!"

Dipper nodded..and he had an idea...all these dolls...they were for stacking...

"Pacifica, I have an idea for what we need to do, it might sound crazy...but waddle to a doll that's one size larger than you and try to hop into him."

Pacifica looked at him weird...but nodded, she trusted Dipper. She waddled over to a small urchin doll coughing out coal dust and focused on doing what Dipper said and-

 **clack!**

And suddenly she was the doll! Some quick experimenting showed that she could 'stack her way into larger dolls...and each doll had it's own special talent.

First lounge it was a simple matter of stacking into a repair man to dismantle the fan and allow them entrance. They were in the middle of formulating a plan when the maitre d' spotted Dipper's nudity.

"AN PERVERTED DEVIANT! THE MOOD IS RUINED! EVERYBODY OUT!" He shouts as he forces everyone out of the Lounge...and had Dipper beaten up by the annoyed crowd.

The girls felt guilty- What with the fact they'd been sabotaging and hindering him from getting dressed at all -so they agreed that enough is enough and to buy him clothes...unfortunately-

"No clothes, no service!"

"Wait. Let me get this straight...you won't sell him clothes because he's not wearing clothes?" Asked an incredulous Pacifica.

"No clothes, no service!"

"Look, we're wearing clothes! He'll wait outside! We'll buy for him!"

"No clothes, no service!"

The girls angrily torched the mans shop...which was cathartic...but unfortunately destroyed all the clothes too...Leaving Dipper stuck as he was...The girls quickly apologized and swore to make it up to him.

They tried to pull the same trick on the second lounge but the second maitre d' proved smarter, he simply had them tossed out- after Dipper was beaten -without clearing everyone else out.

Much to Pacifica's annoyance, she's forced to 'stack' the Widow Chasity...to seduce the guard away from the lounge entrance. _"This is humiliating and degrading...but it worked!"_ Thinks Pacifica as she takes advantage of the distracted guard to 'stack' him and use his status to allow EVERYONE inside.

UNINVITED RIFF-RAFF! EVERYBODY OUT! The irate maitre d' kicks everyone- including the second conductor -out.

Sadly the third lounge guard is too disciplined for this to work a second time, so a disgusted Pacifica is force to stack one 'Meriwhether Malador'...a 'unique' doll with the unfortunate ability to-

 **FART!**

"THIS LOUNGE IS PUTRID! EVERYBODY OUT!"

"I'm going to need SOOOO many baths after this." Said Pacifica with a shudder.

After getting the hang of all this, winding the three clocks was fairly easy. They had a doll with a 'firm handshake'- what dose that even mean?- to wind one. Stacked a pigeon doll to fly to another clock to wind it. The third required them stacking a conductor and get him to 'literally' blow his top. And use the updraft to allow balloon boy to ride up to the third clock to wind it.

The conductors reward the four by giving them joint ownership of the train station and all the trains their.

The foursome happily celebrate as they take the train headed for the next stage in their journey...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	103. Rango Falls

Tales of the Falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

Dipper Pines gazed out of the window on the bus that was taking him away from his family...And his new life as an orphan. And Dipper couldn't be...well not "happier"...but he was definitely glad to be away from "them."

His parents never liked him, they made that very clear...everyday. No, The sad fact was that the only thing that made his family bearable was Mabel...And now she's gone...

He suspected that the only reason they didn't send him to an orphanage sooner was because Mabel loved him...and Mabel was always their favorite...they also made it very clear who truly deserved to be dead.

Naturally they'd spared every expense to send him to a one way trip to the middle of nowhere to an orphanage that was only licensed on the loosest of technicalities.

The sad thing was that still probably made it better than home. You know now that he thought about it-

 **CRASH!**

Eventually Dipper regained consciousness...and found himself looking at the remains of a very dead, very giant armadillo.

" _See you on the other side, amigo-"_

Said the armadillo as it burst into flames and turned to ash.

 _"Well, it's official. I've lost it-_

Thought a now very dazed boy...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	104. Mass Gravity

**Tales of the Falls**

 **I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!**

...

 **AUGUST, 2, 2013:** A day that goes down in infamy. A mysterious giant portal opens above Gravity falls and sucks the entire town away to parts unknown...

 **2013-2015: a plague strikes the entire world. 90% of humanity is wiped out, the remaining 10% find themselves imbued with magical powers...**

 **Meanwhile, more portals open allowing all sorts of crazy creatures to enter our world**

 **The list includes: Gnomes, Minotaurs, Computers randomly gaining sentience and entering the real world, ghosts, zombies, centaurs, mermaids, harpies, dinosaurs(both of the normal variety and highly-evolved intelligent type), Shape-shifters, Basilisks, goblins, trolls, ogres, living clay...and so much more.**

 **2015-2030: War and turmoil break out as human society collapses and the various monsters species fight amongst themselves...However as time passes the various species that now share the earth find themselves increasingly united against a common enemy...**

… **...**

 **BOOM!**

HA! HA! Laughed Bill Cipher. "Another continent Bites the dust! And I'm not done yet!" He records the pain and suffering of that continent on his Tivo, and plays it in the minds-eye of everyone on the planet.

Bill laughs harder! "Nothing like a traumatic nightmare to start the day! Feel burn people! Feel the Burn!"...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	105. The Voice of Truth

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

Dipper pines took a deep breath as he steeled himself to go into Grunkle Stan's mind...

…...

 **Oh what I would do to have  
The kind of faith it takes to climb into this relative of mine  
Onto the slashing flames  
…...**

Dipper screamed as Bill blasted a hole in his stomach...

… **...  
To step out of my comfort zone  
To the realm of the unknown where the creator is  
And He's holding out his hand**

 **But the Demon is calling out my name and it laugh's at me**  
 **Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed**  
 **The demon keeps telling me**  
 **Time and time again...**

… **...**

Bill laughed at dipper. "Boy, you'll never win!" Snarked the triangle

"You'll never win!"...

… **...**

 **But the voice of truth tells me a different story  
And the voice of truth says, "Do not be afraid!"  
And the voice of truth says, "This is for My glory"  
Out of all the voices calling out to me  
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth  
…...**

Stan smiles as Dipper successfully chops the wood. "When push comes to shove, I'm actually proud of him"...

… **...  
Oh what I would do to have  
The kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant Robot  
With just a fist and a hook  
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand citizens  
Shaking in their boots  
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand**

 **But the giant Robot's calling out my name and he laughs at me**  
 **Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed**  
 **The giant keeps on telling me**  
 **Time and time again...**

… **...**

Gideon laughed from inside his seemingly unstoppable Mech. "Boy, you'll never win!" He shouts at Dipper.

"You'll never win!"...

… **...  
But the voice of truth tells me a different story  
And the voice of truth says, "Do not be afraid!"  
And the voice of truth says, "This is for My glory"  
Out of all the voices calling out to me (Calling out to me)  
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth  
…...**

Dipper screams as he jumps off the cliff...

… **...  
But the hook was just the right size  
To put the giant on the ground**

… **...**

Gideon shrieks as Dipper smashes through the robots eye and tackles him...

… **...  
And the Demon doesn't seem so big  
From on top of them looking down**

… **...**

Bill screams as he's shot in the belly...

… **...  
I will soar with the wings of eagles  
When I stop and listen to the sound of The Creator  
Singing over me  
…...**

Dipper blocks Gideon's punch and swiftly retaliates...

… **...  
But the voice of truth tells me a different story  
And the voice of truth says, "Do not be afraid!"  
And the voice of truth says, "This is for My glory"  
Out of all the voices calling out to me  
…...**

Bill screamed as he was forcibly dangled over the exit portal...

… **...  
I will choose to listen and believe  
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth  
I will listen and believe  
I will listen and believe the voice of truth  
I will listen and believe  
…...**

"The mystery shack is back, baby!" Shouted Grunkle Stan as he gives Dipper an affectionate noggie...

… **...  
Because Creator you are the voice of truth  
And I will listen to you  
You are... **

… **...**

Dipper, Wendy, and the rest of the gang laugh as the Letter "S" once more falls off the shack...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: this song is a parody of 'the voice of truth' by 'Casting Crowns'**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	106. The Devil's Toy Box is Gravity's idle

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

It all started with a newspaper article...

 **WIN THE CHANCE FOR THE ADVENTURE OF A LIFETIME! AND 1,000,000$!**

"I'M SOLD!" Shouts Grunkle Stan as he drags Dipper, Mable, Soos and Wendy from the Mystery Shack...

…...A little later...

"Did the usher see us?" Whispered Stan as they snuck into the theater. "Nah, he's still fishing for us under the candy counter!" Reassured Wendy.

They quickly sat down as the show started. A man walks onto the stage. "Greetings, ladies and gentlemen! Devotees of the bizarre and uncanny! Allow me to introduce myself! My name is monsieur paperweight!"

"Wow, his parents must've REALLY hated him." Whispered Stan.

-I bear great tidings!" Continued Paperweight. "An earth-shattering archeological discovery of epic proportions! My friends! I present to you; THE SPUNX!"

Right on que, a the giant stone cow descended from the ceiling. "Meh, I've seen better." Stated Grunkle Stan unimpressed.

"It is said that it will yield it's secrets to one who's powers are equal to SAMUNMAX himself!" He then turns to address the crowd directly. "Might YOU be that favored individual?"

"Could we cut to the chase already!? I'm a busy man, you know!" The Mystery Shack gang turns to the only other group of people in an otherwise deserted theater.

Grunkle Stan groans. "Great, just what we need...the Northwests." "Grunkle Stan, you know those people?" Asks Mable. "Unfortunately." Stated Stan as he looked over to where Preston northwest, his daughter and a dozen cronies sat.

Paperweight sighed. "Fine...Bottom Line: solve the Riddle and I'll give you the location of SAMUNMAX tomb in Gravity Falls, come back with the Devil's Toy Box, You get your reward."

Preston Northwest nodded in mock understanding. "Right...I see...And what exactly is stopping my 'associates' from beating you up until you cough up the location and then steal the Treasure for myself?" Asked Preston as all several dozen of his burly henchmen bring out their weapons-

 **ZAP!**

Only for them all to blown to chunks and splatter the Mystery gang, Preston, and Pacifica with blood and gore.

"THAT is what's stopping you, good Sir." Stated Paperweight as he blew out the smoke emanating from the hand he just cast lightning.

His smile quickly returns. "So anyway, who wants to try first?" Asks Paperweight as his audience vomits and cries...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	107. Bad Begining 14 inspired by GojiraCipher

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

...

 **AN: This story was inspired by GojiraCipher. Give his stories a read! Their good!**

 **AN: I'd also like to apologize for mislabeling HIM, I apologize and will try to make the correction now**

...

"Wait...aren't you going to check for survivors?" Asked Dipper as his head bounced beside Wendy's rear as she ran through the school to the exit. Wendy sighed, "Dipper, this isn't a movie. As it is we'll, barely be able to fight past the zombie hordes on our own...also...everyone else besides Tambry(who was safely on her way home), Nate, Lee(both were suspended and weren't at school), and Thompson(doing an out of school extra-credit...thing- Wendy hadn't really been paying attention to him when he explained) at this school...have been nothing but jerks to me." she admitted flatly-

 **ROAR!**

Wendy paused from their 'talk' to lop off the heads of four zombies in one slash...the arterial blood gush...almost look like a rainbow when the light refracted through it...

Dipper's eye went wide, "Wendy...I know I've said this before...but it needs to be said again...your the most awesome person-

 **ROAR!**

"Not now dude! Tell me all about it later!" Shouts Wendy as she cartwheels over a zombie strapped with explosives running at her-

 **BOOM!**

 **CRASH!**

 **GAH!**

The explosion knocks Wendy out of a nearby Window, she cries out as glass cuts into her. "WENDY!" Shouts Dipper in concern and once more cursing his inability to do...well...ANYTHING.

Wendy groaned. "...it's...it's okay dude...I'm good." She tried to sound as reassuring as possible as she ripped off the midsection of her swimsuit(making it a two-piece basically) to use it wrap her wounds.

"Alright...my dad made a bunker in case this sort of thing happened, we cut through the woods we should get their so-

 **MUNCH!**

Both looked over at the noise...and what they saw made them wretch...standing before them was giant, morbidly obese zombie towering over them and munching on a dozen corpses. It munches off the head off a corpse...then sees them...licks it's lips and tosses the headless corpse at them and then lumbers over to them with surprising speed.

Wendy groans...she was still banged up a bit from that explosion their were dozens of glass shards in her feet and the wedgie her 5 sizes too small rubber swimsuit was giving her was definitely NOT HELPING! "Sorry, buddy. This will be difficult enough as it is!" Apologized Wendy as she quickly/carefully took off Dippers head and put it safely to the side. And promised to come back for him.

 _"Great...so now I'm just inconvenient luggage?...(sigh) Not going to lie...kinda hoping a zombie just steps on me here..."_ Admits Dipper miserably to himself...wanting to at least see Wendy in action he uses his tongue to rotate himself to see what's happening.

 _"Okay...Wendy's...is she jumping?...No the zombie is chomping? Wait...is she slashing? Or is that it belching? GAH! Too many corpse in the way! I can't see squat! And I'm pretty sure my tongue touched a dog turd! I officially hate my li- WHOA!_

Too busy trying to focus on the fight Dipper didn't see he was on the ledge until it was too late...he fell of and hit the ground with a thump...he groaned as he rolled over to the stump of the headless corpse.

Dipper...was crying...he was just sobbing. _"Okay universe! we all know that you've had it out for me since when you had my umbilical cord nearly strangle me! We'll fine! Stop dragging it out! Just kill me and get it over with! I'm sick of this-_ Dipper paused to scratch his itchy nose - _anyway so just get it...wait, did I just scratch my nose!?"_

Sure enough Dipper could feel his hands! He could move his hands! SEE his hands!...which were corpse hands?! "WAIT, WHAT!?" Shouts Dipper. Sure enough, somehow Dipper landing on a headless corpse had fused them together...and it wasn't just ANY type of zombie.

Wendy groaned...try as she might...her chainsaw couldn't penetrate! It was like punching a bag of wet cement! And her make-shift bandages were REALLY starting to leak blood again..she was getting woozy...And her wedgie was just getting even tighter!

"OUT OF THE WAY WENDY!" Wendy quickly dodged as...an explosive zombie with Dippers head ran past!? "WAIT, WHAT!?" Shouted a confused Wendy...just as her friend exploded...sadly this explosion had the misfortune of the fat Zombie...'letting one rip'...so...yeah-

 **BOOM!**

Once again Wendy found herself violently thrown by the shockwave of an explosion. She Did a double backflip through the air and landed with surprising grace on her feet. Wendy smiled, "Huh, that wasn't as bad as I-

rip

Wendy looked down just in time to see her red rubber- several sizes too small -one-piece groan from all the stress put on it-

 **RIP!**

A now naked Wendy groaned miserably as she covered herself. "Great, not only do I have Zombies trying to take a bite out of me and half my blood missing, now I'm going to have to STREAK home!" She gripped.

"Oh, no! How horrible for you! I can't possibly think of a worse fate to experience." Said a once again bodyless Dipper sarcastically as he sat wedged deeply within the now twice dead fat zombies butt.

Wendy turned green...but quickly composed herself and apologized to her friend as she tried to pull her friends head out of the decomposing cornhole...preferably before reinforcements arrived...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	108. Mable's intervention

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

Mable had not been having the best week...first the whole 'Weirdmagedon' thing happened...and then when it looked like things were going to be okay...With his last, dying breath, Bill revealed Mable to be the one who gave him the rift! To the whole town no less!

...needless to say...everyone had been avoiding her like the plague...Mable sighed as she entered her room expecting to sleep alone yet again...only to find it full of her friends! Dipper, Pacifica, Wendy, Grenda, and Candy!

"Guys?! What- What are you all doing here!?" She asked in confused surprise.

Wendy sighed, "Mable...you have a problem." "You and Dipper are in an enabler/co-dependent relationship!" Exclaimed Pacifica, while a somber Dipper nods a long in agreement.

Mable couldn't believe what she was hearing, "Oh...wow! This is an intervention! Even after nearly killing everyone your all still willing to help me!" She exclaims deeply touched.

Dipper nods, "Yeah, Mable...we'll help you...HELP YOU PEE BLOOD!" He shouts as he and the other girls pull out bats, hammers and fisticuffs out of their hiding spots and tap them meaningfully.

Mable's face fell, "Wait, what?" Suddenly the door slams behind her, revealing Candy locking the door and putting on a ninja mask, and expertly whiping out some nunchucks...

in a matter of moments, Mable's cries of pain could be heard outside the room...and the sight of a puddle of blood forming at the bottom of the door was now also visible...

"Let's kill her pig next!" Shouts a bloodthirsty Grenda as she continues to strike down on her former friend while she screams. "LET'S KILL THEM ALL!"

 **"...May all our stories end so well! Until next time!"**

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	109. Box office flop

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

MysterD47: Bare in mind, that it was an AU one-shot...just roll with it...

...

It was a tired and frazzled Mable that came downstairs to the kitchen. "Morning", she said somberly to Dipper as he busily read his journal.

"Don't talk to me Mable, I know what you did last night and it disgusts me!" Says Dipper in a withering way without looking behind him... Without a word, a creepily focused Mable began to pull a large knife out of the knife rack as she glared at the back of Dipper's head.

-You made a huge mess in the sink! Grunkle Stan made me clean it!" Finished Dipper annoyed. A relieved Mable quietly puts the knife back inside the rack, "I finished half of it, the other half of the mess is yours!" Snapped Dipper, still not looking back at her.

...Once more Mable pulls the knife out of the rack while glaring at Dipper. -Oh, forget it! Knowing you, you'd only make it worse and I'LL have to clean it up! I'll clean the last half of the mess...you go relax in the living room." Said a resigned Dipper in annoyance while still not facing Mable.

...Mable silently puts the knife back in the rack, "Okay." She stated simply as she left the room...

"MABLE! LOOK AT THE HEADLINES! JANITOR DEAD!" Shouts Dipper from inside the kitchen. "WHAT!? NO!" Screamed a frantic Mable as she ran back into the room.

"yeah, My favorite science teacher; Jane Itter passed away yesterday." Explained Dipper sadly as he revealed the headline to her.

Realizing she'd just misheard him...Mable was annoyed, "Are we seriously doing this? Cause I didn't get like ANY sleep last night!" Said Mable irritably.

"Why are YOU upset? You didn't even know her." Asked Dipper confused.

Mable rubbed her face while she groaned. "Right, right...of course I didn't...your right...I'll just...I'll just go relax then." Dipper nods as she turns to leave the room, he then looks at the paper confused. "Wait, why did they print a story about an ordinary science teacher who lives out of town on the front page?" ...Dipper shrugs. "Eh, Toby must've messed up again." He said dismissively.

Mable had only just left the kitchen-

"YOU AND THE GIRLS KILLED AND BURIED A MAN!?" Shouted Dipper in the kitchen suddenly. "GAH! I KNEW YOU'D FIND OUT!" Shouted Mable horrified as she once more ran into the kitchen.

"Find out what? I was just happy that I'd finally received my package with my new favorite murder/drama book series: 'You and the girls killed and buried a man." Explained Dipper as he showed her said book.

Now Mable was REALLY ticked! "Okay, you know what!? I'm really on edge right now! And this 'thing' that were doing here, I'm NOT happy with it and also that is a weirdly specific title for a book series!" She exclaims.

"Mable calm down, just go into the other room and relax-

"I don't want to go into the other room! I'm going their, but then your saying things that sound like something else, but their not!"

"Mable, seriously. What is up with you today?...Look, just relax until the mess is cleaned up and I'll make you breakfast. And I promise I won't say anything until then...okay?" He asked in a comforting way.

Mable groaned...but nodded. "Okay." She said finally...and once more left the room-

"THEY FOUND A BODY OF AN OLD WAR HERO DOWN BY THE OLD ASYLUM!" Shouted Dipper. "Okay, now THAT has to be SOMETHING!" Insisted Mable as she ran back once again.

"Wha- Oh, sorry Mable I was just singing along to this old song playing on the radio." Explained Dipper just as the radio began to sing again.

"They went up their to write a movie...Mable, Wendy, Pacifica, Grenda and Candy...and then killed the janitor...WAR HERO! ...By the old asylum...

Mable shuddered, "Okay...WOW. That is just Creepy."

Dipper gives Mable a disbelieving look. "Mable...did you and the girls kill someone?" He asks horrified.

Mable sighed in defeat, "Yes..."

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	110. Ginger vs blonde 2

Tales of the Falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

NyaNyaKittyFace: (sigh) yes...I did too...but I'm boycotting it now that after the ...I think it was the 'forty thousand year virgin' story? In any case...I can't in good conscious watch it anymore and I advise others to do likewise(this should in NO way be perceived as a flame, it's a free country and you may do as you wish)

...

 **Recommendation: coyoteprime1100 has a very original story called '** **The Magnificent 10', I strongly recommend reading it.**

...

Slenderman flipped through the 'Journal 3: Darklight edition'. **"Okay, the thing with Dipper was funny...but a bit of a ripoff at the same time! I wanted the twins to spill more secrets dang it!"** He shakes his head as he turns to look at the Invisible Wizard...who's repulsive form was what was making the barfing fairies...well, barf.

 **"Wow...I really backed the wrong horse...this guy is pathetic!"** He sighs, and looks through the journal again... **"Oh, well...wasn't a total loss..this book has given me some ideas...and you can still be of use to me!"** He hands him an Axe, he then snaps his fingers to retcon the universe...Again...

 **"The spawn of the one who did this to you...she's at this address...you know what do?"** The invisible wizard gleefully nodded...and then ran...right into a tree.

Slenderman slapped his forehead annoyed. **"Right...this is going to take awhile...ah nuts to it, I'll just have some fun with Dipper! That's always good for a laugh."**

...

Dipper was...uneasy being back here in the bunker...not only did he nearly die here...but it's also the place where he got his heart broken...now that he thought of it...the bunker had been a huge turning point in his Summer...if you didn't count the invisible writing in the journal...it was the first time he made an REAL effort of finding out the secrets of the author...not to mention got ride of the one continuous sit-com element in his life...pinning For Wendy...

He sighed, just his luck that he'd fall in love with an impossible girl...an amazing girl...and now here he was...again...with ANOTHER girl...

Dipper just shook his head, and the opened up his evening wear a bit- _"GAH! This suite is TOO hot here! I'm broiling! I need to get back in my regular clothes...then I can think..."_

He begins to undress...then sniffs himself...he was rank! He goes to the decontamination shower and starts to shower there...Once more Dipper couldn't help but remember the last time he was here...trapped with Wendy...nearly KILLED with Wendy...because he wouldn't tell her his feelings... **AND...now that he thought about it...because Mable couldn't take the situation seriously...** Thought Dipper suddenly...right as a shadow invisibly whispered in his ear...

 _"Huh...you know...I was too busy focusing on how it was MY fault...and being heartbroken at the time...I didn't think about Mable's part in this...putting aside the fact she had no business butting into my personal life...well, if the fact that we were in a horror movie cliche creepy survivalist bunker wasn't a big enough 'tip off' that now wasn't the time for her to goof off and split the party up...then the weird ruin-riddled death trap that nearly crushed us to dearth should have been!"_

Thought Dipper irritably...then another thought occurred to him, _"Wait...why didn't Wendy back me up when I was trying to convince Mable of the monster's existence? Yeah, Mable wouldn't have taken just me seriously, but with Wendy backing me up...but she didn't...she just turned to me and asked me to tell her my secret to get Mable to let us out- in fairness I SHOULD have just done that -but why did she say nothing to Mable...it doesn't make any-_

"Dipper! Where are you?!" Dipper was wrenched from his thoughts as he heard a very FEMALE and CLOSE sounding Pacifica. Dipper naturally panicked, he turned around quickly to get out of the shower and dressed-

 **BANG!**

Dipper bit down a curse as he turned around too fast and bashed his shin on the door...which caused it to shut...locking him in...Dipper pailed and frantically jiggled the lock...to no avail...he briefly toyed with going the other way...but immediately discarded that thought, no way he was going ANYWHERE near the shapeshifter...frozen or no...

Which left only one option...

...

Pacifica looked around the place confused...and more then a little scared...this looked like the place you sent horror movie extras to die...and she was very well aware that the valley forge stereotype's were usually the first to go thank you!

She'd fallen asleep as Dipper had been carrying her out of the mansion...between this freaky atmosphere and the bruises given by her father still fresh...she REALLY needed a comforting hug right now.

She didn't give a thought that that meant Dipper...she welcomed it really! She frantically looked all over for him calling his name-

"Pacifica...are you out their?" Paciifca's eye's widened, "Dipper? Where are you!?" "I'm behind the door in front of you, it's locked on my end and I need you to pen it, but before you do-

But Pacifica was already running to the door halfway through the sentence, and flung the door open- Now as you could guess...this was bad news for Dipper...but not just for the reason you'd think. See in addition to being naked, his shin had been still hurting so he'd leaned on the door to take pressure off it and so-

 **RIP!**

plop

plop

Dipper was stunned...in his hand he clutched the fabric which had once covered pacifica's chest...a chest that he now saw had been covered with FAKE breasts to conceal Pacifica's...freakishly flat chest.

Pacifica, didn't notice at first...she was busy staring down at dipper's freakishly small dick...and then the situation hit her...and she screamed...

...

Meanwhile, another girl was screaming...although it wasn't a scream of terror...as it was a corduroy battlecry...

"Take this you invisible freak!" Shouted a boxers/undershirt wearing red-head as she went axe-to-Axe with the invisible wizard...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	111. Tremor Falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

Mabel and Dipper pines hadn't know what to expect when they rode into Perfection Falls-

 **CHOMP!**

But a giant Worm eating their bus with them on it had definitely not been considered! Mabel screamed as a terrified Dipper stood in front of her protectively-

 **BOOM!**

-And thus was the only one to get covered in foul smelling worm guts. The twins watched as a strange man "Double tapped" the already dead worm. The strange man looked at them and smiled. "Hey kids! I'm your great Uncle Burt! You'll be spending the summer with me!"

The Twins could only stare in disbelief...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	112. In the belly of the whale

Tales of the Falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

RasenganFin: Yeah, sorry. Real life happened and I ran out of time. The best I could do was slap down an old one-shot

imperialwar1234: It's from the 'Tremors' Movie franchise, i strongly recommend it.

Wolfang21: Mine as well. Here's hoping!...course a little 'bribe' might be enough to get me to make another chapter of this.

...

Dipper Pines groaned. He and the rest of the Mystery Shack gang were waking up. _What happened?...we were on the Stan-o-war...but then...there was an explosion?_

They looked around...Where were they?

"Yep, were in a whale...Blue whale, if I'm not mistaken." Stated Stan flatly.

"Wha? How would you know that?" Asked an incredulous Wendy.

"I'd...rather not say." Stated Stan awkwardly.

"Hey guys! Check this out!"

Everyone turns around as Mabel cranks a weird phonograph she'd just found-

 **PLOP!**

Out pops a bunch of robots!...who then begin to sing!

 **Up to my ears in bitter tears  
Can't believe I've sunk this low  
As I walk the plankton  
Inner sanctum.**

"Well this is random." Stated Dipper perplexed.

 **Got outta Dodge,  
Sailed on a bon-less  
Bon voyage.  
You said North,  
I headed South.  
Tossed overboard.  
Good Lord, that's a really large mouth...**

"Unfortunately, I've seen bigger." Said Stan with a shudder.

 **I'm sleeping with fishes here,  
In the belly of the whale.  
I'm highly nutritious here,  
In the belly of the whale.  
Bad food, lousy atmosphere.  
I don't wanna bellyache.  
How long is this gonna take?**

"Preach it, brother!" Shouts Soos.

 **Woke up this morning kinda blue,**  
 **Thinking through that age-old question:**  
 **How to exit a whale's digestion?**

"We'd also like to know that! Just...you know...in case you were wondering." Stated Dipper awkwardly.

 **It might behoove me to be heaved.  
Head out like a human comet...**

"Hey guys you might not wanna rhyme with comet" Stated Wendy awkwardly

 **I'm sleeping with fishes here,  
In the belly of the whale.  
I'm highly nutritious here,  
In the belly of the whale.  
I'm ready to reappear.  
I don't wanna bellyache.  
Lord, how long's this gonna take?**

"I don't suppose you could actually answer that?" Asked Dipper impatiently.

 **End times, they come rolling around.  
Enzymes, they come breaking us down to the core.**

"Yeah, we'd kinda like to be out of here BEFORE that happens if you don't mind!" Growls a now also impatient Stan.

 **The good Lord grants we all get a second chance.**

"I'll trade the second chance for a way out if you don't mind!" Shouts Wendy irritably

 **I'm one of the dishes here,  
In the belly of the whale.  
They say I'm delicious here,  
In the belly of the whale.  
Lord, please make him chuck it all.  
It's a gut call  
In the belly of the whale.**

The gang starts to throw rocks at the robots...who just ignore it...

 **I'm in the belly of the whale.  
In the belly of the whale.  
I'm in the belly.  
In the belly of the whale.  
I'm in the belly of the whale.  
In the belly of the whale.  
I'm in the belly...**

Now without rocks, they resort to just kicking them...whic was the Jamaican robots que-

 **In the belly of the whale  
In an underwater jail  
It's a tight squeeze.  
It's a-gettin' to me,  
But it's roomier  
Than the tail.**

"Well! This is officially a nightmare! Anyone for a Cyanide pill?" Grunts Stan in resignation.

 **Hey, sailor,  
Got my flow free  
Like a salmon to the sea  
From the L.A. Symphony.**

The twins take one.

 **I'm a paddleboat  
Paddlin' in their wake,  
A fake free-styler,  
But my unemployment pays.**

Soos takes one

 **I'm avoiding cliches  
Like "whale of a tale" stale  
Or "you can't keep  
A good man down,"  
'Cause you can  
And I've been there, man.**

Wendy takes one

 **But I've been expectorated.  
I'm elated!  
I'm free like Willie!  
Happy Day!  
Oops, That's a bit of a cliche. **

The robots finish up just as the grateful group blissfully dies...

 **I'm in the belly...**

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN:** **The song is 'In the belly of the whale' by the Newsboys**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	113. Amazon Dipper

Tales of the Falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

RasenganFin: Yeah, sorry. Real life happened and I ran out of time. The best I could do was slap down an old one-shot

imperialwar1234: It's from the 'Tremors' Movie franchise, i strongly recommend it.

Wolfang21: Mine as well. Here's hoping!...course a little 'bribe' might be enough to get me to make another chapter of this.

...

It wasn't easy being a male in a female dominated society...just ask Dipper Pines. He currently stood wearing nothing but a loincloth, shackled to an auction block with several other males.

His family had recently fallen on hard times...investing in liamaicide had backfired when the new queen banned that practice...they'd been up to their eyeballs in debt and had to sell everything...including him.

Now Dipper had nothing to do...but wait for his new owner to purchase him-

"I bid 5 crabs and fourteen smeckles!" Dipper's eyes widened at the sound of a VERY familiar voice. _"Mable...?"_

"7 Quails and twenty-five grabbles!" _"Wendy?"..._ Dipper quickly searched the crowd.

"15 boars and thirty-six goombas!" _"Pacifica?"_ And then he saw them; Mable(wearing her usual rainbow fish pelt), pacifica(her Jewel encrusted leopard skin bikini), Tambry(purple leopard skin bikini), Wendy(red leopard skin bikini, and covered in axes), Candy(a green leopard skin..that kept trying to slide off since she didn't have the curves for it), Grenda( a rabid boar pelt worn like armor)...all of whom were pooling their money...

"22 oxen and 50 Galleons!"

"Sold, to the 5 desperate chicks and one incest lover!" Shouted the auctioneer jokingly.

That last comment made both twins vomit...and the first one caused the rest of the girls to glare at the auctioneer...

...

"Alright! thank you girls! I'd never have been able to buy dipper back without your money! Now...when will you be giving ownership of Dipper back to me?" She asked earnestly.

Their was a long awkward pause... Wendy coughs nervously, "Right...look Mable...there's no easy way top say this...but we kinda had an alterior motive for doing this..."

Mable looked at them confused. "Wha?"

Candy was also feeling awkward "Yeah...as you know we've been selected to go discover a new trade route by the queen...which will take a year...which is very lonely...soooo...

"GAH! Oh, will you just spit it out already! Were taking Dipper with us to be our servant and concubine!" Snapped Pacifica irritably. She was in a bad enough mood already that she'd have to... -ShA-rE?- Dipper! Stupid liamaicide ban...her family may have wheatherd it better then most...but her mom was being extra stingy lately...that was the ONLY reason she needed their money too!

Mable didn't know how to respond...except to vomit.

And dipper...Dipper didn't know whether to feel terrified...or excited?...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	114. Iron Dipper

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

Dipper grunted as he worked to solve the "What-the-heck-ahedron." If he could just solve it...He'd win that 1,000$ reward from Stark Industries!

 **CRASH!**

Dipper winched as yet another one of Mable's "hobbies" fell to pieces. "Mabel, could you knock it off? I'm trying to solve this intelligence puzzle but it seems impossible!"

Mabel chuckles. "Maybe you're just not smart enough." She teases playfully. Dipper glares _..."We'll_ _see about that."_ Thinks Dipper as he opens up the journal...

…...

He applies the "percepshroom" to his forehead and goes to sleep...

…...

Dipper couldn't believe it! When he woke up; he suddenly had access to thoughts, ideas, skills that he never thought possible! The "What-the-heck-ahedron" was child's play! Soon he had it shipped to stark towers. " _Okay...now what?"_ Thought Dipper as he examined the world in new and exciting ways...

…...

"Sir! I have the new prototype! Shouted the A.I. Known as Jarvis. It's ready to be shipped to your private lab! Also, someone won your contest! The prize money is also ready to be shipped!"

A very hungover and tired Tony Stark groped around blindly on his desktop. While he fumbled with the buttons, the computer switched the addresses around and had the deliveries sent by Auto-postal.

Jarvis saw this. And was about to point out the blunder when Stark finally found the "Snooze button" he'd been groping for. Silencing him for the day...

…...

Dipper looked at the crate confused. _Maybe the sent the money in singles?_ Thought a confused Dipper. He then shrugs; opens the crate-

 **GAAAHHHHHH!**

Cried Dipper as a bunch of mechanical tentacles grabbed him and dragged him into the box...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	115. Bad Begining 15 inspired by GojiraCipher

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

imperialwar1234: No, I don't like pincest. And I will refuse any story ideas based on that.

NyaNyaKittyFace: Dare I ask what happens the other 18% of the time?

...

 **AN: This story was inspired by GojiraCipher. Give his stories a read! Their good!**

...

The Pines Family could do nothing as they watched silently as the monster blindly lumbered about...groping about the beds...making sure all the kids were accounted for...all the while...he whistled an insidious tune...

 **You don't look like you belong here**  
 **Did you pinch yourself to see**  
 **If you'd wake up from a nightmare**  
 **Or could you still be asleep?**

Mable rocked back and forth...and tried to whistle a comforting diddy to herself...

 **I tell myself it's all a dream**  
 **And monsters are not all they seem...**

Quickly Stan covered her mouth to keep her quiet...right on que the monster continued it's song...

 **You took a fall into the Maw**  
 **Where hunger's always peaking**  
 **All we got for cargo**  
 **Are the meats for feasting**  
 **Lots of chomping jaws**  
 **And rotten teeth for eating**  
 **Button up your coat**  
 **This submarine is leaking...**

Thinking quickly, Stanford tossed a rock at a nearby television, it immediately switched on-

 **I'm stuck in a dungeon with some ugly company  
Watching me hungrily, stumbling, bumbling  
Thundering after me, clutching their cutlery  
Ducking and Jumping, they're above and under me  
All of em' wanna just smother and butter me  
Gut me and dunk me in gravy to cover me  
Hide in a cupboard but not in the oven  
I don't want to go in that pot they got bubbling**  
 **Could I be sleeping, cause I don't feel slumbery**  
 **Tumble through tunnels, they're gonna discover me**  
 **I'm on a boat but there's not any luxury**  
 **All that I got is my cunning to comfort me**  
 **If I get lucky somebody will come for me**  
 **Time I depart from my prison under the sea**  
 **Take me away where the sun is abundant**  
 **And give me some grub that I honestly wanna eat**  
 **Cuz I'm fed up with the stuff I've been stomaching**  
 **Sick of this scum, my tummy is grumbling**  
 **Should I succumb to my hunger? I'm wondering**  
 **Will I become a victim of gluttony?**

Quickly the monster snarled and ran toward the noise, seeing this the Pines made their escape. They rushed into the air vent. Stan rolled his eyes. "sheesh, did you hear those lyrics...and I thought 'blanching in my mansion' was terrible. What is with all the spontaneous choreography in our lives anyway?"

"Well actually I did research on that and it all started with a deal Han Xiangzi made with the emperor-

"Bored now." Interrupted Stan flatly.

"Uh...shouldn't we save all those kids they have back there?" Asked Mable.

"Mable it's going to be difficult enough just to get ourselves out of here...when we escape we'll get help, I promise." Assured Stanford.

Before Mable could protest, her stomach was gripped with the worst hunger pain...and she collapsed...the last thing she heard before succumbing to sleep was her startled Uncle's cries...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: The song is 'Hungry for another one by JT Machinima**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	116. Cruising for Gravity Falls

Tales of the Falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...Reviews...

NyaNyaKittyFace:...I'll take your word on that.

...

"The S.S. Gravity Falls?" Asks a confused Mable. Dipper read the brochure, "Apparently, some rich guy named 'S. Lenderman' bought all the land on and surrounding 'Gravity Falls', had it ripped from the ground, built a giant deluxe yacht around it...and here it is...I guess."

Mable just looked at the giant cruise ship in front of them both amazed...and confused. "Annnnnd...this all happened during the 10 hour bus drive from Piedmont?"

Indeed the twins had been expecting a rinky-dink town in the middle of nowhere...instead they found their bus diverted to the ocean..and the news that they'd now be spending the summer on a cruise?

Dipper nodded, "Your right, this is weird..."

Before they could think more of it, a porter came up to bring their luggage on board. It's explained to them that the ship is divided into numerous parts; engine, town, forest, lake/pool, Mansion, mine, mountain, tourist quarters, miscellaneous, and game room.

It's also quickly explained to them that all the townsfolk from Gravity falls was still allowed to live here and for free...as long as they did their assigned job. Example: their Grunkle Stan was allowed to still own his business The Mystery Shack...provided he give 50% of his profits to the Captain.

"So were going to help Grunkle Stan?" Asked Mable.

"Nope" And just like that he shoved Dipper into a sharktank.

"Dipper!" Screamed Mable as Dipper cried out an agony as 'something' attacked him violently...causing the tank to be foamy and bloody...all the while the tourists applauded...

"It's so realistic..."

"FOR THE LOVE OF BLOOD, HELP ME!"

"And the boy playing the victim is quite the thespian!"

"MY INSIDES ARE POURING OUT!"

"Woo-hoo! Worth every Penny!"

"SHE'S RIPPING APART MY TESTICLES!"

"...Lucky..."

Mable hyperventilated as the porter refused to let her down and continued to carry her farther away. The porter just chuckled. "Oh, don't worry about Wendy...she's trained to maul not kill...she's quite the sweetheart really...unlike the devils your about to meet."

"Wait, what?" Asked Mable, but she was already shoved inside a weird pig costume and shoved inside-

 **GET HER!**

Mable suddenly found herself dog-pilled by screaming, kicking, biting, spitting, sticky monsters...otherwise known as the 'kidus at pizzario resturauntus'.

Mable screamed as the onslaught of kids tried their best to rip her to pieces. The porters just laughed. "(snort) when should we tell her that this is just her second job...and her REAL job will be 'Night watchman'?"

"Eh, forget that! It's time for my lunch break! She'll figure it out on her own." Said the porter as he and his buddy walked out of 'freddy fazbears pizza'...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	117. Supervillian Dipper? :nightmaster000

Tales of the Falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

 **AN: This story idea was given by** **nightmaster000**

...

 **Universes most WANTED: Dipper Pines #1**

 **DEAD OR ALIVE(PREFERABLY DEAD)**

 **1,000,000,000,000,000$**

Dipper groaned as he read his wanted poster...how had things gotten so messed up?...things had started out well enough...a fallen satellite carried a radioactive crossing guard, crash landed at his house and zapped him with his ear beams...giving him superpowers! Flight, enhanced intelligence, and super strength!

Naturally he'd used them to fight crime, his first crime was the Joker...and he'd won!

...

 _"Let's put a smile on that fa- BOOM!" The remains of the Jokers head landed on the ground in front of his stunned gang. Dipper blew the smoke from his pistol, "Huh...that wasn't so hard...wonder why someone didn't just do that YEARS ago?"_

...

And then things fell apart afterwards...turns out the reason no super hero had done it before...was because of the strict 'no kill code' that the hero's both followed and enforced...which Dipper still felt was kinda stupid...second chances and redemption was great and all...but monsters like Joker...who kept breaking out of prison- which might as well be made of cardboard, really -what sense did that make to allow him stay around murdering innocent people?

Sadly...the Justice league hadn't agreed...

...

 _"Your under arrest for murdering Joker!"_ _Shouted Superman as he cuffed and dragged Dipper into the Justice Jet. "Wait, what?!" He shouted confused._

...

Fortunately Dipper figured out a way to escape...unfortunately, this escape caused the plain to crash...into the watchtower...at the same time Red Tornado was examining a bootlegged phantom Zone Portal gun-

...

 _"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?" Screamed Green Arrow as he and every other superhero in the Justice league was sucked into the Phantom zone..."_

...

Now if it were just them getting sucked into the Phantom Zone...that wouldn't be so bad(the Status quo had undone worse after all). Unfortunately the portal gun was a bootlegged copy...so it only sent their souls to the phantom zone...their bodies/powers were left behind and permanently destroyed.

...not to mention that the large amount of mass of all those hero's getting sent IN caused the gun to overload and allowed some of the worst residence of the Phantom zone OUT...

Thankfully, the majority of them had scores to settle on other galaxies...the minority that remained have pretty much turned many parts of the earth into slums of lawless depravity...

Naturally, Dipper was blamed for everything...

...

 _ **DAILY BUGLE**_

 _ **DIPPER PINES: HERO KILLER OR DISTURBED CHILD?**_

...

Naturally his parents kicked him out of the house...thankfully Mable stuck up for him and left with him...that was nice...her plan to restore his good name-

...

 _ **ATTENTION EVERYONE! I'M MABLE PINES! MY BROTHER IS A GOOD PERSON! I WILL SHOW YOU THIS NOW!** Shouted Mable as she used the White Martian mind control device that Dipper salvaged- among other things -from the remains of the Watchtower to project her best memories of Dipper into the whole world-_

 ** _GAH! MAKE IT STOP!_**

...

-not so much.

Surprise, Surprise. Good intentions and Pines stubbornness don't cancel out inexperience handling in (damaged) alien tech...they were lucky that the device only gave the rest of the world horrible- but non-lethal -headache's.

Unluckily for them, the Green Lantern Corp had chosen Earth air space to fight their war with Sinestro...hearing all of humanity suffer forced them to split their forces to help them out...this proved to be a costly mistake that saw Sinestro victorious and the Guardians of the Universe and the entire Green lantern corp wiped out...leaving the universe at his mercy...

Fortunately, Sinestro was in a good mood and gave earth amnesty as a 'thank you' to Dipper.

Needless to say...this did not help Dipper's image...as for Mable's involvement...

...

 _"It is my professional opinion that the villainous and sleazy Dipper Pines has brainwashed his poor, innocent sister into being his sidekick/incestuous sex slave." Said the 'expert' on TV._

 _Mable and Dipper could do nothing...but vomit..._

...

Dipper was depressed...true by the age of 12 he'd managed to kill a lot of big time super villains; Apaocalypse, Nekron, Galacticus, Dormammu...but always ending up accidentally causing widespread-destruction...

People didn't really even care about all the bad guys he'd defeated(they chalked it up on more 'villain on villain' violence)...it was hard to celebrate freedom when your house was totaled after all...

Dipper had decided to take a break from being a hero for awhile...he and Mable returned to Earth and found one person who believed they weren't villains and knew the perfect place for them to hide out...their Grunkle Stan from Gravity Falls...

"YEAH! Finally, a break from weirdness!" Exclaimed Mable excitedly as they snuck into Gravity Falls..blissfully unaware of those that followed...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	118. For want of a Phil

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

nightmaster000: (resolved through PM)

MysterD47: I thought you'd like that

...

 **For want of a nail, the kingdom was lost**

 **...Or in this case, for want of martyr, the team was lost...**

 **…** **...**

The last several hour had been very 'interesting' for Phil Coulson. Last night he'd finally gotten to bed after Fitz had been sucked inside the Monolith...and woke up in a bed and house that wasn't his.

He quickly did the standard S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent tests for such a situation. After eliminating 'dream world' and dysfunctional hologram...he was left with 'alternate reality.

Here, he never became an agent. And apparently married someone named Lilly and had two kids named Dipper and Mabel...they seemed quite happy-

He then panics when he sees the date! The Chitauri invasion was a week from now! Quickly he uses a special 'alternate universe' code for just this sort of situation to immediately get in contact with Fury.

He quickly gives him the lowdown on everything: Loki, the Chitauri, The Mandarin, The Dark Elves, Hydra, and Ultron.

Fury tells him he'll handle it. He also tell him that they'll talk more after the invasion. For the moment he advises that Phil gets out of town(since here, he lives in New York), and keeps his head down until he contacts him.

Even though this family wasn't(technically) his; they belonged to another him. Who was apparently quite happy with them. So before doing anything else, he focused on their safety.

He Learned that the kids were currently spending the Summer in...Gravity Falls? _Huh, why dose that name sound familiar?_ Thinks Phil as he leaves a message for Lilly at work; telling her to meet him at Gravity Falls.

...

Lilly was confused when her husband called out of the blue and tells her to drop what she's doing and meet her on the other side of the country...She was even more confused when a portal opened up in front of her outside her office building and she was swept up by a purple giant!

"Alright, the woman is my new plaything! A deals a deal, give me the stone!" Shouts the giant. Lilly watches in horror as a demonic creature wearing a business suit and no face hands the giant a strange glowing gem...

 **...7 days later...**

Phil hangs his head in defeat as he listens to the report...New York was a crater. Since he hadn't been there to matyr himself; the Avengers never came together as a team and were killed. Since there was no Iron Man to redirect the nuke; New York was Wiped off the map. And since Iron Man never destroyed the Chitauri Control ship; (even though the portal was down) there were still small, active remnants of the Chitauri laying waste to the countryside...All in all a much darker time line.

On the bright side, Fury got a brief message to him. As horrible as the aftermath was, Fury was able to take advantage of the chaos to purge SHIELD of HYDRA.

Phil took whatever comfort he could from that as he drove into Oregon...

… **Mystery Shack**...

Stan laughed. _What a rube! He comes in with a diamond the size of my head...and he thinks it's a paperweight! The best buy of my life...and it was under a 100$! HA!_

While Stan laughed. The 'Rube' was assuming his true form outside the Shack. _Enjoy your 'meal ticket' while you can old man...others will come for it soon enough._

Thought Loki as he turned his back to the Shack...and the Tesseract...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	119. Outcast

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

imperialwar1234: (Settled on PM)

...

 **AN: Attention! I'm running out of ideas for Christian or Christian-like song-fic's to do on Sundays...dose anyone have ideas for a christian or christian-like song-fic? I'll prioritize your story ideas/updates if you give me a good one!**

...

Dipper cried as he fled the classroom as everyone laughed at him for not having a valentine...

 **Since I can remember, guess I been a problem**

Mabel cries as everyone laughs at the gum in her hair...

 **Never had a filter, never been the popular one**

Wendy growled as the sign-in guy mispronounced her name causing everyone to laugh at her...

 **To sugar coat what I know is undeniable**

Stan pleads with his Dad to not kick him out...

 **I just can't hide it, I wear it like a letter**

Soos sighs as yet another girl screams in fear of him...

 **Everywhere I go, everyone is talking  
I can feel them staring, they hope I'm just pretending  
And giving up my power, caving into pressure  
I'm not living for them, I live for something better!**

Dipper screams as he beats up Gideon...

 **I'm not good enough, I'm not what they want  
But let me tell you what, I know who I am  
So just throw me out for not fitting in  
I will stand my ground and be an outcast**

Mabel blows Jeff away!

 **So what if I'm an outcast?  
So what if I'm an outcast?**

Soos takes the blows dealt by the Robots to let Melody escape!

 **So what if I don't look the part I'm supposed to play  
What if I don't follow all the rules they make  
They think I should be perfect, they love it when I mess up  
No grace in case I blow it, a good girl shouldn't need it**

Wendy lets out a war cry as she beats up Gideons goons!

 **I'm not good enough, I'm not what they want  
But let me tell you what, I know who I am  
So just throw me out for not fitting in  
I will stand my ground and be an outcast**

Stan beats down the Zombie horde to defend his family!

 **So what if I'm an outcast  
So what if I'm an outcast**

Dipper berates the Manitours for their poor treatment of the Multi-bear!

 **So slow and everybody's so fast  
So what if I'm an outcast?**

Mabel stands up to Pacifica after she insults Candy and Grenda!

 **I try to play nice, I don't want to fight  
But I won't be great when it sounds like I'm right  
'Cause what I believe is what makes me strong  
If I don't belong, I hold onto love**

Wendy goes toe to toe with the shape-shifter!

 **I try to play nice, I don't want to fight  
But I won't be great when it sounds like I'm right  
'Cause what I believe is what makes me strong  
If I don't belong, I hold onto love**

Soos terminates Giffany permanently!

 **So what if I'm an outcast?  
So what if I'm an outcast?  
So slow and everybody's so fast  
No matter what it costs I'll be an outcast**

Stan punches the Pterodactyl right in the face!

 **I'm not good enough, I'm not what they want  
But let me tell you what, I know who I am  
So just throw me out for I'm not fitting in  
I will stand my ground and be an outcast**

Shack-tron demolishes the Hench-maniacs!

 **I'm not good enough, I'm not what they want  
And let me tell you what, I know who I am  
So just throw me out, I'm not fitting in  
I will stand my ground and be an outcast! **

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **The song is by Kerrie Roberts**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	120. The overlord of Gravity Falls

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

nightmaster000: 1. (shrug) I don't know...I just think Phil and dipper make a good team I guess...but that is a good question though...why? You have a suggestion in mind? 2. glad to hear!

...

Dipper Pines grumbles as he trudges through forest putting up mystery shack signs. "Ugh, Grunkle Stan. Nobody ever believes anything I say." He then goes around a corner... and is shocked at what he sees!

Before him sits a devastated clearing everything smashed, burnt, and twisted...except for one seemingly unscathed tree in the center. Curious, Dipper approaches it. " _Huh, there's some writing on it."_ Thinks Dipper as he leans in-

 **What do the poor have**

 **That the rich want**

 **That the dead eat?**

Dippers eyes lit up. "Oh, I remember this riddle!" He exclaims out loud. "The answer is nothing!"

 **CRACK!**

Suddenly the tree grew a mouth and spat a book right into Dippers hand. Dipper smiled. " _Alright! Maybe this Summer won't stink after all!"_ Thinks Dipper right before the pissed off 12 year-old redhead runs up from behind and kicks him in the balls...

...…...

 **AN: sorry this was short, I was on a deadline.**

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	121. Gate falls

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

imperialwar1234: (Settled in PM)

...

Dipper was excited! It was right where the journal said it was! Deep within a secret underground catacomb. He watched in horrified amazement as a group of vicious monsters ripped apart a strange snake-like creature...only for a strange glow to make the creature regenerate...only for the whole thing to start over again.

Quickly, pulled a size-manipulating stone(which he grabbed on his way here) and used it on the monsters. After making them small and helpless, Dipper comes over to the snake creature cautiously-

 **SLORP!**

When Dipper woke up, he felt weird. " _Hello."_ Said a voice in his head. " _Name's Prometheus; sorry about this, really I am grateful...But I need your body to live..."_

Dipper responded to this the only way he could

 **Thump!**

 _"Oh, that's just dandy."_ Thought the rouge Goa'uld as his host fell unconscious yet again...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	122. Jurassic falls

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

GojiraCipher: (responded on PM) Also thanks again for your input and constructive criticism! Hopefully the next chapter of 'Bad beginning' will be updated soon.

...…...

Ahhhh...Valentines day...a day of wonder, romance...and heartbreak. The last one in particular is something an 8 year-old Dipper can attest to.

He cries over his empty Valentines day box as he hides in the broom closet away from everyone.

"Ah, my boy. Why do you cry?" Dipper turns to see an ordinary janitor. "I-I didn't get anything." He blubbers as he points to the box.

The janitor nods. "Ah, I see." He then rummages through his cart. "Well...I'm no pretty lass...but I hope you'll except this humble substitute." He states as he Gives Dipper a gift.

Dippers eyes widened amazed at what appeared to be a large dinosaur egg. Dipper looks up to thank the man...but he'd vanished! A baffled Dipper looked around...and then he heard a crack...

…...

Mabel walked down the hallway. " _Boy Dipper looked sad...I sure hope my valentine makes him feel better..."_ Thinks Mabel to herself as she turns to enter the next corridor-

 **ROAR!**

"Hey Mabel! Isn't this amazing!? I have a T-Rex named Wendy!" Mabel said nothing...she was too busy peeing herself...

…...

 **Slenderman** laughs as he tears off his janitor disguise. **"This is too easy!"** He continues to laugh as he fades back into the ether...

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	123. Bad Begining 16 inspired by GojiraCipher

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

 **AN: This story was inspired by GojiraCipher. Give his stories a read! Their good!**

...

Fortunately, a summer of nightmares throwing everything it could and the kitchen sink at him, gave Dipper a high threshold for pain. He was up and about in a minute or two.

"Uhhhh...Dipper? Are you sure your okay?" Asked Ivy. "Never better." Said Dipper stiffly as he stifled a tear.

"Dipper...your genitals are smoking...and I'm pretty sure your missing half a testicle." Stated Maize concerned.

Dipper sighed and turned to the three girls, "Look, do anyone of you know this area like me?" "Uh, well no-

"Do you want to stay out in the open for monsters to eat you longer then necessary?" "Well, no-

"If you have a better way to find shelter, by all means, say so?...if not, be quite, let me do what I'm best at, AND STOP STARING AT MY MUTILATED JUNK!"

All three girls look away embarrassed, for indeed that was what they'd been doing-

 **FWOOM!**

Which became even harder to NOT do when a fire ball smacked him in his already degraded 'area'. "OH COME ON!" Hollered Dipper in pain as he tried to put out the fire.

"you can't get me! You can't get me! HA! HA! HA! HA!" Laughed a fire imp as it danced and cartwheeled around them, taunting them as it started to throw more fireballs at them. All girls screamed as their clothes too began to burst into flames and they frantically tired to put them out-

 **BOOM!**

Suddenly the imp exploded, the kids turned to their savior in gratitude...only to pale in horror, for standing before them was a mountain of a frighteningly hideous man, armed to the teeth, surrounded by even uglier thugs. D. Caste Raider smirked as he blew out the smoke of his 20-barrel shotgun.

"Hey kiddies...shall we play a game?"

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	124. 5 years a slave

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

It happened so fast Dipper didn't even have time to blink. One second he, Mabel, Wendy, and the rest of the teens were heading into the "dusk 2 dawn"...suddenly they were surrounded by gun wielding monsters.

"Well, well, well. What have we here?" Smirked the apparent leader of the bunch. "Looks like a couple of flies have stumbled into the web...Restrain them".

Quickly, shackles were slapped onto everyone. Wendy tried to resist. But was struck across the face for her troubles. "LEAVE HER ALONE!" Shouted Dipper as he tried to attack the guy that struck her- Only to be snatched up and dangled.

"Ha! Looks like we got ourselves a hero! Let's show him a hero's welcome!" Wendy and Mabel watched in horror as several of the goons ganged up and beat up Dipper.

The leader smirked at all of them. "You punks have the worst timing! Our boss just told us that this world is getting too hot, and told us to scrub the place and skedaddle! Why, another hour and we'd have been gone!"

He chuckled, and walked over to them. "Now let's see check out the merchandise, shall we?" He gave Robbie and the other two boys a once over. "Meh, they'd make adequate slaves...I guess." Then he looked at Thompson. "Great, googely moogley boy! Did you eat a whole swine and her litter?" The guy let out a nasty cackle. "We'll sell him by the pound! We'll make a fortune!"

"On it!" Shouted a guy with multiple swords and arms. Thompson and everyone else screamed as Thompson was chopped to pieces and sorted into sacks. And then he got to Wendy and tambry. "HA! HA! Now were talking! Grade A merchandise!" Then he saw Mabel. He scrutinized her. "Eh...I guess she's kind cute...Maybe we could make a couple bucks off her. "

"And this guy?" Asked one of the goons as he lifted up a bloodied and beaten dipper. The leader snorted. "That scrawny weakling? Just leave him here to burn!"

He then snapped his fingers. Which opened a portal. Right, activate the bombs and get a move on! "Dipper glared at him. "If you hurt them I'll"- "You'll what!?

Mocked the leader. "Boy, I've produced bigger things then you eating fiber! Your not even worth killing, your worthless!" Said the leader as he smacked

Dipper upside the head with the gun knocking them out. "Dipper!" Screamed Wendy and Mabel as they were pushed through the portal. Then it faded from existence. leaving nothing behind except a burning store and a little dying boy...

…...

Black Kado gave his returning lieutenant an annoyed look. "Let me see if I have straight...You took all these kids...except one small boy...who instead of just shooting...you mocked and beat him...and left him to die...And you didn't even go back to check for a body!?" The lieutenant paled..."uh...Hypothetically speaking if I did do"-

 **BANG!**

The other goons dodged the brain matter raining from the ex-lieutenant. "Uh, you want us to go back and make sure he dead?" Asked one of the goons cautiously.

Black Kado considered for a moment, then shook his head. "No, my intel indicates that that world will soon experience a level-10 extinction event...going back is too dangerous." He shook his head. "No, just give me a detailed description of the boy...and pump those brats for whatever information you can get on him...also the instant we land just sell them to the first one willing to buy! Dump em to the crows if you have to! Just get them off my ship!" Said the ever savvy Kado...

…...

MA ghost was in a tizzy. She hated those ruffians...even more so then teenagers! They just took over their home, turned it into a slave-post and killed PA when he tried to resist! We'll she'd show them! Thought MA as she lifted the poor boy from the building before it collapsed and placed him safely. She then faded back to the ether. A couple hours later.

Dipper woke up, stared at the burning wreck...then without a word he turned around and went home...he had work to do...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	125. Author season

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

Superior Tennyson: Glad you like it...haven't decided if this will be a slenderman fic yet though...Also I'm not really sure I'd call what was in this chapter 'bashing' so much as...a villain being a jerk.

...

The crystal gems gaped in horror! Rose was dead! Her body mutilated and desecrated! And towering above him was the human who did it! The man laughed as he stamped down on the remains of the fetus of Roses unborn child, killing it instantly!

The crystal gems got over their shock and heartbreak as they rushed to kill the fiend! Alas, the man was quicker. He threw down a strange bomb that filled the room with an odd smoke that made the gems woozy and disoriented. By the time they came to, he was gone.

The Gems and Greg wept and mourned for many days...but when they sobered up. They got together and vowed vengeance! They would hunt that monster to the ends of the earth if they have to!...and they would...

…...

Meanwhile, Bill Cipher; still possessing Stanford Pines body. Cackled as he watched his plan work flawlessly. " _Excellent, now if Sixer gets wise to my true intentions. I now have a nice backup plan to scare him back into line...But what to do with you?"_

Thought Bill as he pulled out a cryo-tube that contained the **real** fetus of an unborn Steven. Bill shrugged. " _Meh, worse comes to worse I can always serve him up at a BBQ."_ Said Bill to himself as he put the tube back in his(Technically Fords) pocket and vanishes into the shadows

…...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	126. What we gonna do?

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

Deep beneath the bowls of Gravity Falls...lies a spaceship...A spaceship filled with the meager remnants of a once grand civilization!

But these 'Roswell-Grey' aliens were not distraught by their dire straits! For they were justly ruled by their wise(if sorta silly) King Xerxes! Who was at this moment discussing their people's future with his trusted second in command Haman!

"You want to do what!? Exclaims a baffled Haman. Xerxes smiles and points to the numerous screens that show all that was happening in Gravity Falls. And all of them showed a 12 year-old boy in various misadventures.

"I've decided to make Dipper Pines my successor! The poor boy has suffered catastrophe, humiliation and heartache...Yet never gives up! That's the sort of spirit I want my people to emulate! I'll reveal our existence to him and give him the opportunity on his birthday! I'll leave the details of the celebration party to you! Chop-Chop! We have much to do!" Shouts the King as he leaves the room.

Haman just looks dumbstruck. His henchmen Buzz and Delete just look confused. "But boss...I thought you were going to be his successor?" Asks a confused Delete.

Haman growls. "I will be Delete...one way or the other." He gestures toward them. "Do a song and dance number...it helps me think." He says simply.

Buzz and Delete nodded eagerly like all of their species; they loved spontaneous choreography!

 **(music starts)**

Buzz and Delete put their hands behind them and pace back in forth rhythmically as they sing

 **Oh no! What we gonna do?  
The king likes Dipper More than me and you**

 **Oh, no! What we gonna do?  
We gotta get him out of here!**

 **Oh no! What we gonna do?  
The king likes Dipper More than me and you**

 **Oh, no! What we gonna do?  
We gotta get him out of here!**

 **We could throw him in the dungeon  
We could let him rot in jail.**

Haman considers this...but shakes his head. "No, too conspicuous."

 **We could drag him to the ocean  
Have him eaten by a whale**

Again, Haman shakes his head. "No, too geographically inconvenient."

 **We could throw him in a Tiger, let him float a while**

 **Then we'll all sit back and watch him meet a hungry crocodile!**

"Too much animal involvement...I'm on thin ice with the animal rights groups as it is."

 **We could put him on a camel's back, And send him off to Ur**

 **With a cowboy hat without a brim, A boot without a spur**

Haman looks at them confused. "What good would that do?...dose Ur even exist anymore?"

 **We could give him jelly doughnuts, take them all away**

 **Or we could fill his ears with cheese balls and his nostrils with sorbet**

Haman shakes his head. "Okay, now your not even trying!" He snaps annoyed!

 **We could use him as a footstool, or a table to play Scrabble on**

 **Then tie him up, beat him up, and throw him out of Babylon!**

And then inspiration struck. "OR-" Interjects Haman with a smirk.

Suddenly he and his men huddle and whisper their conspiracy in hushed tones.

-"I like it!"

-"It's sneaky"

"And it just-

-"Might"-

-"Work!"

"One more time!" Shouts Delete eagerly, and the others oblige

 **We could use him as a footstool, or a table to play Scrabble on**

 **Then tie him up, beat him up, and throw him out of Babylon!**

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	127. Legendary Falls

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

Funkybunvch: Glad you like my stuff, but what I write next is largely influenced by inspiration, real life, will of my God...and bribes. Read my AN at the bottom for more details on how you can bribe me to update your story next!

coyoteprime1100: thank you, glad you liked it and hope to read more of your stories soon!

...

There have been many weird sights in the history of the world...but none so weird as a giant pink cat with a freakishly huge head and dressed as a mad scientists appearing out of thin air. The cat giggled mischievously as he placed a weird box on a table in the abandoned house he was in.

He took out a strange key and used it on the box. With a click a hidden panel on the box was revealed revealing a strange new design...It was at that moment the cat heard someone coming up the stairs. The cat smiled and rubbed his hands together in anticipation as he vanished into thin air.

…...

When Dipper learned about the abandoned house that a demonologist died in several years back...he knew the chances of actually finding anything "good" was slim to none...but it beat just waiting around until tomorrow for when his parents shipped him and Mabel to this "gravity falls" place...

Yesh! Even the name sounded boring!...needless to say dipper wasn't looking forward to this summer...Which made what he found upstairs seem all the sweeter! It was the most peculiar box! It was covered with the most strangest of designs! Ancient monsters fighting a brutal battle against humans. Dipper smiled. He'd hit the jackpot! He walked over to it and tried to lift it using the convenient design that looked like a hand print-

 **CLANG!**

Dipper in shock as a his hand was entrapped in metal on the side of the box. Before dipper could process this, he screamed as a flaming blade stabbed through his captured hand. It was at that point the mechanism on the box let his hand go.

Dipper cradled his hand as weird symbols began to appear on it. Dipper's eye's widened in horror as the mysterious box began to shake, smoke, and glow. Needless to say dipper didn't stop running until he was home in bed...

…...

The instant Dipper left the room the cat reappeared. He said: "Timeout!" And the box froze! The cat smirked as he disappeared once more...

…...the next day...

Dipper, while on the bus wrapped his hand in bandages. He'd told Mabel he'd cut himself and she believed him...there hadn't been time for him to go back to that house...guess he'd have to hope it'd be still there when he got back...

…...

The cat smiled as he watched the bus the twins were on through comically oversized binoculars. Just a little bit more...Yes! That should be far away enough! Suddenly the cat was back at the house. Time in! He shouted. And Pandora's Box went back into play...and Piedmont, California was about to have a very bad day...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	128. Arkham Falls

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

imperialwar1234: (discussed on PM)

...

The Mystery Shack gang were shocked! What was that explosion? Quickly checking to make sure Stan was alright after having Bill in his mind, they went to see what had happened.

They were surprised to see Gideon crouching over the ruined remains of the vault. Gideon then turns around angrily. "YOU! WHERE DID YOU MOVE THE DEED!?" He demanded.

Before the confused Pines family can reply-

 **RING!**

Gideon angrily growled as he turned on his phone. "What!? This better be important for your sake!" Gideon listens impatiently...then looks confused. "Ninja? What are you-" Then he pales. "The deed to our house and the tent are gone!?" He shouts enraged!

Before anyone can respond-

 **ATTENTION! CITIZENS OF GRAVITY FALLS! I AM PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE THAT YOUR TOWN HAS BEEN SELECTED TO HOUSE ARKHAM CITY!**

 **SINCE WE NOW OWN EVERY INCH OF LAND HERE, I ASSURE YOU THAT THIS IS ALL PERFECTLY LEGAL AND APPROVED BY THE GOVERNMENT ITSELF.**

 **HAVE A NICE DAY.**

Everyone runs outside just in time to see a giant wall being erected all around Gravity Falls...Sealing them in...

…...

Ra's al ghul watched as the citizens of the seemingly 'normal' town were cut off from the outside world. He turned away as the various criminals, thugs, political prisoners, and other degenerates were let loose on the town. "-I've fulfilled my end of the bargain, What of yours?"

Bill Cipher Snapped his fingers. "Consider it done!"

…...

Meanwhile, in a far away city. A certain Masked crusader keels over and screams as his mind is ripped apart bit by bit...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	129. Bad Begining 17 inspired by GojiraCipher

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

imperialwar1234: Yes...Vaya Con dios Batman... P.S. Hopefully your story will be next.

...

 **AN:** **AN: This story was inspired by GojiraCipher. Give his stories a read! Their good!**

...

Mable stumbled blindly...trying to make sense of the place she'd been forgotten in. Every room she bumbled to...was filled with gore...all the while..her head ached...And still...she couldn't remember...couldn't remember HIS name!

Mable steadied herself as she tried to collect her thoughts...tried to remember...something...ANYTHING! _"Shooting Star, Pine Tree, Llama, Question mark, broken heart, Tent of telepathy, Ice, Sixer, Glasses, Crescent Moon...What dose it all mean!?"_ She groaned to herself.

She stumbled around...lost in her thoughts...not really seeing anything..just the flowers...the engine...boring into her mind...filling her brain with static...the static...

"Keep him still," sneered a voice. Mable looked around...and saw that she was now in a medical room...several patients- "I been dreaming about this for awhile doctor." -surrounding one panicked looking Orderly and forcibly holding him onto a gurney...and one by one...they all stabbed into him...

Mable...Mable knew she should help...could help...would help...can't help? Well..in any case...she didn't..she just took one look at all the entrails and blood...and she ran crying through the corridors...and vomited in the nearest closet...and she hide their...she rolled up into a ball...and sobbed...and pleaded for Pine tree to save her...and the blossoms...the blossoms in her head to stop stealing her thoughts...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	130. Imperial earth: sugested by imperialwar1

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

imperialwar1234: No Spiderman...yet. Enjoy! Also, I had to remove some other stuff since I couldn't understand some of your writing.

NyaNyaKittyFaceL: You guessed it!

...

 **AN: this story idea was suggested by imperialwar1234...he also did most of the writing.  
**

...

Piedmont, California, 2000 A.D.

The town of Piedmont would be in for a fright as a freak meteor storm injures many and damages dozens of property...and one young couple would adopt some twins they'd found in the wreckage...

...many years later...

"Mr and Mrs Pines...your children are gifted...in more ways then one..." Said the school administrator...

Indeed Dipper was a great inventor and scientific genius; to him it is known that for everything, even the most insane and inexplicable, there is a scientific answer for it. Although he is the most isolated and introverted of the two, it does not mean that he does not know how to treat people but he does not see it as one of his favorite additions, and he prefers to devote himself to finding answers to the questions of the universe , at his young age he demonstrated the most efficient artificial intelligence and robot ever built at a science fair, already discovered the way Psionic energy mixed and reinforced with algorithms to avoid a rebellion, and every day it improves more...

His sister Mabel is more dedicated to other things such as art and social interaction. She likes to make friends and interact with people more than her brother, and is the most charismatic person that exists, according to almost concerned. although she is already a master of manipulation, her charisma and charm has led her to have friends and allies in many parts, even with politicians, few people are immune to their charms that have left a lot of broken hearts. But the person she appreciates most is Dipper, even by his parents' ensemble, and it's something mutual even if she disagrees with his ideology. She thinks that being human need not involve themselves in the mysteries of the universe nor interfere with the laws of nature but rather just enjoy the beauty and happiness that it provides...

...

Recently they wrote a story about superman, a DC character who seemed very interesting. Due to the fact that they and superman have a similar origin. They wrote and illustrated a story of their own. With the collaboration of his sister for the part of the illustration and design, elaborated, the story became very famous and came to have even several Spin-off and fanfics on the part of the fans and even made some money from it all. Some DC executives on hearing this, tried to sue the twins for a millionaire sum, but the twins simply said they would be glad to be sued and pay every cent demand, and work with Marvel comics to pay for it. The DC executives in resolving this response and after seeing the story they had done and seeing how good it was they gave up quickly...

Still...the legal/media backlash aftermath was a bit ugly so their parents got the idea to send them away for the Summer to their Grunkle Stan away from prying eyes...

Both twins took this with good attitudes. Dipper was a bit annoyed since being away from civilization would hinder his experiments...but he he simply resolved to make do with what he had...

...Meanwhile, on the outer rim of the Solar System...

The Centurion could hardly believe his eyes! A perfect Replica of Holy Terra in the 21st century if not the entire solar system! He turns to his aide, "Alert the Inquisition at once! The Emperor will want to know immediately! Another lost human colony has been found!"

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	131. Halo Falls

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

imperialwar1234: (discussed in PM), If i remember, I'll fix the inquisition bit...who would they report about something like this if not them then?

Superior Tennyson: what? I have no idea what that means...

...

Dr. Hasley smiled as she uploaded the finishing touches to Cortana. She'd received word that the Spartans were all waiting on the Pillar of Autumn; and they were just waiting for Cortana.

It had been many long years...But finally they could put an end to the Covenant war...if only that was the only problem they faced.

She couldn't help but look over to her assistant/personal Spartan...The man who was both her greatest triumph...and her greatest mistake...

Dipper-001, was a unique individual...using a strange book(that he'd held onto with a death grip when taken) he could do... _magic._

Their was simply no other explanation for what he was able to do. The book was gibberish to anyone else who tried to read it. Combined with his intellect, combat skills, and magic; he'd wracked up as many victories as the Master Chief!

Sadly...this skill came at a cost. On the backwater planet he was taken from...it was mostly uninhabited save for one outpost... _Gravity Falls_.

Hasley wasn't ashamed to admit that even thinking that name chilled her to the bone...as it did to anyone loyal to the UNSC nowadays.

She didn't know how...but somehow his family _knew._ Within a day of Dippers abduction; their network was hacked and _everything_ was leaked to the public! Within a month half of the UNSC had seceded!

The insurrectionists were up in arms! And it didn't take long for them to learn who was responsible for the whole thing. It amazed her how quickly the Pines family(and various associates) rose to the top of the insurrectionist leadership.

The three most infamous: Commander Stanford, Bloody Mabel, And Dead-eye Wendy.

Their had been numerous attempts to invade their HQ in Gravity Falls...all of which ended in spectacular failure.

They even tried a planet-busting bomb! Only for it to be teleported over earth at the last second!...

As if to provide further proof to show that fate hated her; the day after Earth was destroyed...the Covenant began their war.

Despite the nightmare this new threat represented...there had been the hope that this threat was what humanity needed to heal the rift that had separated them...

Hasley sighed. That hope had been quickly squashed. Not only had they refused to join forces to fight the covenant. They made a deal with them! In exchange for saving the insurrectionist faction for last; they gave the Covenant all the Nav data on all UNSC worlds!

Hasley sighed. Thankfully, Reach was such a closely guarded secret...otherwise there'd be none left.

Reach was the last unconquered UNSC world, all else had fallen. Their plan here was their last chance to turn the tide...of course even if they got the Covenant off their backs. They still had the insurrectionists-

Hasley shakes her head. _One problem at a time._ Right now, they had to focus on the Covenant, they'd-

 **BOOM!**

The compound shook and the lights went out. Hasley panicked. "What's going-

 **BANG!**

Dipper looked down at the corpse of Hasley. It had taken 15 long years of playing 'good boy' to get to this position...but he'd single-handed avenged himself and every other 12 year old who's life she wrecked.

He'd personally rigged every com station, barrack, space-port, armory, defense system, power plant, and administration building on the planet to blow sky-high.

With no infrastructure, their forces disarmed and thrown into disarray, the bulk of their leadership dead...they were sitting ducks for when the Covenant got there...which thanks to the signal he'd rigged up would be soon...

He disposes the corpse and finishes Cortana's upgrade, just as Nobel Team comes to the 'rescue'.

… **...**

Jacob Keyes reads the 'emergency orders' Dipper had just given him. Dipper was fairly confident that he'd stolen the right security codes. If all went according to plan; Keyes would believe it and Dipper and his oblivious Spartan comrades would immediately leave on the Pillar of Autumn to safety.

While Keyes looked through it; Dipper was left with his thoughts. He'd wanted to kill Keyes(he had assisted Hasley with scouting him); but doing so would have jeopardized his fellow Spartans chances of getting off this Hole! So he resolved to just work out what to do with him later.

He was also surprised of the existence of 'Spartan III's!' His curiosity was so great, he decided it was worth the risk to make a last minute change to the 'order' to make sure they got off planet on the Pillar as well.

Which only left one question: _What do I do about my family?_ He'd put off making any contact with them or the insurrectionists for the last 15 years. He'd rationalized it away as not wanting to blow his plan...but really...he honestly didn't know what he'd say to them...what could he say to them?

He put that thought aside as Keyes decided everything was in order. And they got on the Pillar and unknowingly(except Dipper of course) left the last scrap of UNSC to it's fate.

…...

 _Huh, well that's new._ Thought Dipper as he looked in wonder at the giant ring floating in space...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	132. I left my memories in Gravity Falls

Tales of the Falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **...I can't keep up this '7 updates a week, every two weeks' schedule anymore...my new job is too demanding, and I've neglected several of my other projects, so after this week my updates to 'tales of the falls' will be more sporadic. Sorry, but this is the way it's got to be...**

 **On the plus, side as a special seasonal treat, next week I'll be breaking my routine to(try and) do a lot of Halloween themed stuff...**

 **HAPPY HALLOWEEN!**

...

Grunkle Stan whistled a merry tune. Today was a good day! His nephew was coming to spend the Summer with him! He needed to make a good first impression; he was thinking along the lines of 'mysterious reappear smoke bomb' as an opening line-

"Okay Dipper! Enough is enough! This isn't funny anymore!" Stan looks ahead to the bus stop and sees the a commotion.

Dipper just shakes his head awkwardly. "Look miss...I don't know who you are...and I need to leave." "It's MABEL! YOUR TWIN SISTER! How can you not remember me?" States the girl as she begins to cry. Suddenly she gets an idea. "Wait! I can prove it!" She rummages through her bag. "My Scrapbook! I've used it to chronicle everything we've done together as far back as I can remember! That will- Mabel trails off and pales...it was gone...

…...

 **Slenderman** looks through the scrapbook. **"Awwww, what a heartfelt chronicle of the tender loving bond between two siblings!** **This would've shirley been more than enough to bring back Dippers erased memories!"** Gushed the creature...right before he tossed it into the incinerator.

" **Oh, well. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust and all that..."**

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	133. Courageous

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

...

 **AN: dose anyone have any recommendations for songs for gravity falls / christian song-fics? (or at least christian like?)**

...

The bank robbers got some shoots off at the police...but one got a lucky hit and took out his tire...he drove off the road...but was able to jump to safety...the cops were busy following the runaway car...while the slightly injured robbers quickly limped to the nearest building...a weird looking shack...

 **We were made to be courageous**  
 **We were made to lead the way**  
 **We could be the generation**  
 **That finally breaks the chains**  
 **We were made to be courageous**  
 **We were made to be courageous**

Dipper sighed as he once more chickened out from asking Wendy for a date, crumples up the note he was going to give her...and walked away from the register...

 **We were warriors on the front lines**  
 **Standing, unafraid**  
 **But now we're watchers on the sidelines**  
 **While our families slip away**

Grunkle Stan sighed as he once more looked down longingly at a pair of glasses similar to his own...and thought of what could have been...yet smiles as Mable plays with her pig...

 **Where are you, men of courage?**  
 **You were made for so much more**  
 **Let the pounding of our hearts cry**  
 **We will serve the Lord**

"HANDS IN THE AIR AND NO ONE GET'S HURT!" Shouted the robbers as they broke down the door to the shack-

 **We were made to be courageous**  
 **And we're taking back the fight**  
 **We were made to be courageous**  
 **And it starts with us tonight**

"I SAID HANDS IN THE AIR! DROP WHAT YOUR CARRYING OR I SHOOT!" A panicky Dipper looks down the gun of the barrel...the shrink-stone he'd just pulled from his pocket still in his hand...he looks over to a terrified Wendy who also has a gun pointed at her...and knows what do...

 **The only way we'll ever stand**  
 **Is on our knees with lifted hands**  
 **Make us courageous**  
 **Lord, make us courageous**

From behind the door, Grunkle Stan has gathered his hard earned money in a bag and is planning to flee...then he hears a squeal...he looks over and sees Mable getting pistol-whipped by a robber-

 **This is our resolution**  
 **Our answer to the call**  
 **We will love our wives and children**  
 **We refuse to let them fall**

ZAP!

Went Dipper's shrink stone.

BANG!

Went the gun the robber was pointing at him.

GAH!

Shouted the robber that was cornering Wendy as he shrunk-

DIPPER!

Screamed Wendy as her best friend got a large hole in him...

 **We will reignite the passion**  
 **That we buried deep inside**  
 **May the watchers become warriors**  
 **Let the men of God arise**

"You want money!? Here's money!" Shouted Stan as he throws the money bag at him, The startled robber shot it destroying most of it's contents. But this was all the distraction Stan needed to land a haymaker right into the robber's face...

 **We were made to be courageous**  
 **And we're taking back the fight**  
 **We were made to be courageous**  
 **And it starts with us tonight**

A sobbing Wendy screams like a madman as brings up the weapon the shrunk robber dropped and fires it the other robber who was too stunned by what just happened to respond...

 **The only way we'll ever stand**  
 **Is on our knees with lifted hands**  
 **Make us courageous**  
 **Lord, make us courageous**

"It's okay sweetie...it's okay. Your Grunkle Stan is here." Said Stan comforting a sobbing Mable...the destroyed money still floated around him...but he didn't care...everything valuable to him was safe...

 **Seek justice**  
 **Love mercy**  
 **Walk humbly with your God**

A sobbing Wendy hugged the bleeding Dipper as she called 911...Dipper was fading fast...

 **In the war of the mind**  
 **I will make my stand**  
 **In the battle of the heart**  
 **And the battle of the hand**

A sobbing Mable hugged Stan as Dipper was lead into the ambulance...on the blood stained floor...Wendy finds Dipper's note...and then cries even harder as she presses it to her breast...

 **In the war of the mind**  
 **I will make my stand**  
 **In the battle of the heart**  
 **And the battle of the hand**

The medic's rush him to ER...

 **We were made to be courageous**  
 **And we're taking back the fight**  
 **We were made to be courageous**  
 **And it starts with us tonight**

The doctor finishes making the incision...

 **The only way we'll ever stand**  
 **Is on our knees with lifted hands**  
 **Make us courageous**  
 **Lord, make us courageous**

"Thank you." Whispers Wendy as she gives a kiss to Dipper while he rests...

 **We were made to be courageous**  
 **Lord, make us courageous...**

 **...**

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: The song is 'Courageous' by 'Casting Crowns'**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	134. Let him go to the dang party already!

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

RasenganFin: Sorry, that was meant to be more of a one-shot then anything...

bezerkergod: good song and thank you

...

Slenderman watched hundreds of thousands of universes...that despite their differences...more or less ended the same...

 **"Oh for the love of- Would someone please explain to me wanting to go to a SUMMERWEEN party instead of trick-or-treating is so abhorrent and not full of holiday spirit?! Fine, Dipper shouldn't have lied, but come on!"**

He flipped over to Mable crowing about wanting Dipper to come with her- **"Oh, boo hoo! Your brother wants to do something different- have fun on a holiday his OWN way! How terrible it must be to be you...spoiled little princess- AT LEAST PACIFICA IS UP-FRONT ABOUT IT!"**

The abomination shook his head, **"Fine, since everyone else seems allergic to being different...it seems it's up to ME to do something...ELSE!"** He cackled, and I have just the brilliant scheme top do so...

...

Mable skipped merrily along outside the Shack. "I can't wait for trick-or-treating tonight with Dip-

 **CRASH!**

It took Mable five seconds to process that a piano had fallen on top of her and crushed most of the bones in her body...before she began bawling like a baby.

 **"Okay fine, it was a lazy way to get the plot moving- I don't have limitless resources y'know, so sue me!"** Shouted the beast to the audience as Stan rushed to take Mable to the hospital in the background. Since Dipper was out chopping wood, he quickly left a note explaining where they went and how to get to the hospital quickly...a note that Slenderman was quick to alter and put back it's place when Dipper returns-

"Dipper- Me and Mable got invited to a party, but not you so don't wait up! have the toilet fixed by the time we get back!"

Dipper snarls, "Unbelievable! They would just- You know what? Frack them! I'm going to Tambry's party with Wendy!" And without a single look back...Dipper ran to the party...while an invisible Slenderman cackled...

 **May all our stories end so well! Until next time!**

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	135. Summerween: 'Slipper' grows a spine

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **AN: Happy Halloween!(sorry I didn't mention that last chapter)**

...

Slenderman whistled a jaunty tune as he hovered invisibly over the Mystery Shack, " **Time to make a pest of myself!"** He cackled and then went to work...

...

"Wait, till you see the costume I made for Dipper! It's great!" Shouted Mable to her friends, Dipper hears this as he descends the stairs, he sighs. He didn't like lying..but what choice did he have?"

 **"Well, you could NOT be a wuss for one thing!"** Exclaims Slenderman as he effortlessly possesses Dipper and takes control of his body. Slenderman adjusted 'his' Pine Tree hat. "Show time." He said in Dipper's voice. He then walks the rest of the way down the stairs.

"Oh, I love his Dipper costume!" Exclaimed Candy. 'Slipper' rolled 'his' eye's, "I'm not wearing a costume you twit of a side-character!" He snapped harshly.

"Dipper, that's not a nice thing to say! And why aren't you in your costume? It's almost trick-or-treating time!"

"Yeeaaahhhh...Wendy invited me to A Summerween party so I'm going to be doing that instead. Don't wait up for me and have a happy Summerween!" Said 'Slipper' as he quickly tried to leave the Shack.

"Wait, what!? Dipper quit joking around, this is our last Halloween! We need to make it count!" Slipper slapped his forehead, "Oh for the love of- First of all, this is SUMMERWEEN- As in, we'll have a SECOND chance to trick or treat this fall. Second, would it have been your last Halloween? What, you don't like candy anymore?" He mocks.

Mable blanches, "Wha- Dipper were getting too old- Sensing a familiar presence coming closer to the Shack, Slipper quickly cut her off. "Oh, I didn't realize that 13 was the official cut-off point! Mable, you have plenty of years left! Shoot, you wear a big enough or elaborate enough costume...who's going to say no to giving you candy? You could probably get away with it up to your twenties if you plan it right!"

Suddenly there was a knock at the door and Slipper opened it up to the trickster. He concealed his smile as he brought out the candy, "Alright! Great timing! Look at him! Perfect Example! Clearly an adult, but still full of spirit! good for you man! Have a double helping!"

The Trickster lifted his hat, "Why thank you kindly." And now to go for the kill, "And your in luck too! It's mostly black licorice and gummy chairs! My favorite!"

Slipper had to bite his tongue to keep from laughing as the Trickster was practically bowled over by this statement, "Y-you like it?" He asked in disbelief. "Like it? I love it!" He pauses to eat some for emphasis, "'Loser Candy' my but! This is delicious!"

Mable had it with being ignored, "Dipper come on! We ALWAYS do Trick-or-treating together! And we always love it!" She pleaded. "We'll yeah...but this year I want to do my own thing...I want to have fun MY way." Retorted Slipper.

"I can't believe this...how can you leave me on our favorite holiday!? Show some Summerween spirit!" Exclaimed Mable. Slipper slapped his face, "Oh for the love of- He turns to the guy, "Hey buddy; as a impartial observer...as long as a person is celebrating the holiday and having fun on said holiday...wouldn't that count as showing Summerween spirit? Regardless of who it was with?"

Now Ordinarily, the trickster would've left already...but this boy...so nice to his candy...to him... "Um...well, yes. Really, that sounds about right. Especially since it sounds like the party is SUMMERWEEN themed-

"Yeah, well no one asked you! So beat it! And take your icky loser candy with you!" Snapped an angry Mable as she threw said candy at the Trickster and slammed the door in his face.

 _"Big mistake Mable."_ Thought a happy Slipper as he sensed the Tricksters rage now directed at her, "Wow Mable, rude enough? Seems to me like your the one out of Summerween spirit."

Mable seethed, "Dipper why do you have to be so weird!? We're a family! we should be having fun together!"

Dipper glared, "Oh I see...so when were doing what YOU want and having fun YOUR way. It's a happy 'family sticks together no matter what' Aesop...but when I want to do what I want and have fun MY way...I'm being weird and selfish?"

Mable blanched, "Wha? That's not what I-

"Your unbelievable- I've been celebrating Halloween with you, doing things YOUR way, wearing YOUR costumes for 12 years! But you won't let me have ONE Halloween Knock-off holiday to myself? To Spend time with someone who I might not see again after this Summer is over?...2 weeks after I sacrificed my chance at her to give you your dang pig no less!...AND I'M THE SELFISH ONE!?"

Mable was in tears now, "Dipper I-

"I don't want to hear it! I'm out of here!" And under his facade of rage...Slipper smiled as he stormed from the Shack...and sensed the Trickster ignoring him...in favor of going after Mable and her friends.

"Well...it's been fun...but I think I can let things roll from here..." He jumps out of Dipper's body and allowed him to regain control. Dipper groaned as he tried to steady his dizzy body. "Wha- Where am I- Wasn't I just on the stairs?"

 **"Everything worked out, your going to the party with Wendy, don't question it, and have fun!"** Whispered Slenderman to Dipper.

"Everything worked out, your going to the party with Wendy, don't question it, and have fun!" Repeated Dipper in a monotone way as he mindlessly obeyed this thought without question...

Slenderman laughed as he heard Mable scream in terror, he then turns to the readers-

 **MAY ALL OUR STORIES END SO WELL! UNTIL NEXT TIME!**

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	136. a more PRAGMATIC Summerween

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

imperialwar1234: thanks! Would you believe that I thought of it while I was writing the chapter? I was originally going to do something else!..as for the other question...here's your answer: ENJOY!

...

"Can't we just buy the Candy?" Asks Dipper. "That sort of takes the fun out of 'trick or treat and die'." Said Mable. "I'd rather take the 'die' out of 'trick or treat and die'!" Snapped Dipper.

 **"I agree my Boy...let's do this!"** Shouts Slenderman as he posses Dipper. **Slipper** smiled as he once more had an alternate universe Dipper under his command. Quickly he follows after the others to the first house...

...

"And who are you supposed to be little boy?" Asked Lazy Susan. "IMPATIENT!" Snapped Slipper as he pulled out a gun from hammer space. Susan frowned, "I don't get it-

 **BOOM!**

Everyone screamed as Slipper shot a hole above Susan's head, "GIVE US THE ****** CANDY OR I BLOW YOU A NEW ***HOLE!" Screamed Slipper.

"DIPPER! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" Screamed a horrified Mable. "Saving our butts! A monster is going to MURDER us! We don't have time for this crap!" Screamed Slipper, he turned back to Susan to threaten her to give all her candy to them.

"Dipper stop! Your ruining trick or treat-

 **SMACK!**

Everyone gasped as Slipper smacked her in the face and seized her by the sweater and forced her to his face- "MABLE DO YOU WANT TO DIE!?" "NO!" "DO YOU WANT YOUR FRIENDS TO DIE!?" "NO!" "DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE!?" "NO!" Cried out a sobbing Mable.

Slipper threw her to the ground disgusted, "Then strap on a pair and TAKE SOMETHING SERIOUS FOR ONCE IN YOUR PATHETIC LIFE!"

...

"Hey Dipper! What's up?" Asked Wendy from Robbie's car. "Me, Mable and friends are trying to appease a monster so it doesn't murder us." Said Slipper flatly.

Robbie chuckled, "Wow your nuts- "Wait, seriously Dipper?" Asked Wendy concerned. "What you believe him?" Asked Robbie in disbelief. Wendy looked at him also in disbelief, "Uh, yeah! Kinda hard to be skeptical after nearly dying at the hands of ghosts!"

"...What are you talking about?" Asked Robbie confused-

As things between Robbie and Wendy degenerated into a heated argument, Slenderman briefly unpossessed Dipper and pointed out the scene- **"THERE! WOULD THAT HAVE BEEN SO HARD!? YOU COULD'A SAVED EVERYONE A LOT OF DRAMA THIS WAY IDIOT!"**

"Who..wha...huh?" Asked a dazed Dipper as he tried to make sense of...everything... Slenderman rolled his eyes(somehow) and just possessed him again...

...

They handed the candy to the trickster and he let them leave...Mable was still crying a little from Slipper yelling at her. Slipper rolled his eyes, **"Eh...all this Mable-bashing is starting to wear a bit thin...maybe I should throw her a bone? Just to shake things up?"** He thinks to himself with a shrug as he turns to Mable.

"Look Mable I get that your upset about me 'ruining' tonight and yelling at you. But I'm not going to apologize for doing what I had to to keep my sister from dying...I hope you'll forgive me...but even if you don't...that's fine. I'd rather you hate me and live...then love me and die."

He let a now(hopefully) contemplative Mable alone with her thoughts...and unpossessed Dipper. **"Well, that's my good deed for the eternity!"** He turns to the audience-

 **May ALL our stories end so well! Until next time!**

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	137. A summerween to remember---

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

imperialwar1234: Don't worry, Slenderman was only nice for the sake of being unpredictable, he'll be back to trolling Mable soon enough!

...

 **AN: HAPPY HALLOWEEN!**

 **...**

Mable was excited! This was going to be the best Summerween ever! She happily worked on her Strawberry Jelly costume...oblivious to the dark shadow slinking toward her...enveloping her...whispering in her ear..

...A couple hours later...

Dipper took a deep breath. "Look Mable...I'm not feeling well...I think I'm sick." Lied Dipper as he tried to cough convincingly.

Mable smiled sweetly. "I understand Dipper...you just stay home and get better."

 _Wow...that was easier then I thought..._ Thinks Dipper in surprise. "But first...you should take a shower...you smell wrank." Teased Mabel as she and her friends went on their merry way.

Dipper frowned and took a whiff of his armpit..and recoiled. _Yikes! She's right!...I need to get ready for Tambry's party!_

…...

Dipper whistles a merry tune as he washes himself-

 **ZAP!**

 _Oh, that's just great!_ Thinks an annoyed Dipper as the power goes out. He gropes blindly for the towel rack. Only to find it empty. Dipper gives an annoyed grunt as he then gropes around blindly for his clothes on the floor-

 **click**

That was the last thing Dipper heard before he was catapulted through the air...

 **CRASH!**

And lands in a soft bush!? _Wha...what just happened?_ Thinks Dipper confused. Then to his horror, he realized; He was outside the Shack...and he was naked!

Embarrassed, Dipper quickly ran to the back door...only to find it locked!...and a note?

 **Dear, Dipping Sauce**

 **HA! HA! Maybe next time you'll think twice about lying to your sister!**

 **Don't bother trying to get back inside; all the entrances have been sealed, I bribed Grunkle Stan with bacon, and Soos is out buying Jumbo snacks(A chore I made sure will take all night).**

 **You got two choices Bro-Bro: Walk outside naked all night(I hear a cold front is moving in!).**

 **Or stop being silly, grab the costume I've hidden in the bush, and come enjoy Summerween with us like a normal person yah creep!(playful giggle)**

 **Well be waiting for you out front! Love Mable!**

Dipper bristled at this, especially that 'normal. _So I'm being silly? Huh!? Funny how whenever I want to do something I think is fun; I'm being 'silly'. But when were doing what YOU want, I'm being 'normal.'_

Thought Dipper annoyed. Okay, he'll admit it. Lying to Mable had been wrong...but this! This was going to far! This was disproportionate retribution at it's finest!

Dipper groaned...he was in a lose-lose situation...if he didn't do what she wanted...he'd be spending the night naked and cold...But if he did do what she wanted...She and Grunkle Stan would never let him hear the end of it!...Worse, by backing down now...Mable would probably just do this again in the future! He'd never be able to do what he wanted again!...that was no life!

 _But still...where dose that leave me?_ Thinks Dipper conflicted-

 **THWAK!**

Something smacks against Dipper's face...he groans as he peels it off and looks at it...and immediately recognizes it!

 _Wha? How'd this get out here?_ Thinks Dipper confused...oblivious to the shadows that creeped...enveloped...and whispered...

…...

"You did what to Dipper!?" Shouted Candy in disbelief. "I found out Dipper was going to lie to me to get out of Trick-or-Treating so he could go to some party. So I tricked Soos to make a booby trap that would send Dipper naked outside the Shack, after Waddles ate his clothes, towel and shuts off the lights." Mable pauses to give the newly returned Waddles a treat. "Thus forcing him to chose between Trick-or-treating with us...or walking around naked all night."

Mable smiled. "Needless to say...I'm confident what he'll choose." Her friends just looked at her in disbelief.

"Uh...Mabel?...I agree that Dipper shouldn't have lied to you...but don't you think that locking him outside in his birthday suite...was a bit excessive?" Asked a weirded out Candy cautiously.

"Wha- NO! Look, Dipper might be mad at first...but I'm going to make this night so amazing that he'll forget all about that!" Said an optimistic Mable honestly.

"Uh...I'm not too sure of that..." Said Grenda as she pointed away from the Shack. Mable turned around just in time to see her brother- Clad in nothing but a loincloth -flip her the bird as he ran off toward Tambry's party.

"H...he's not coming with us..with me?" Asked a heartbroken Mable.

" **Yeah, ain't that a kick in the teeth?"** Asked a new voice nastily.

They all turned around and gasped at he sight of the monster before them! **"** **Hello ladies! Names Slenderman and I'll be your designated 'Summerween trickster' for the night!"**

The monster leered forward. **"** **You ready to be punished for your lack of Summerween spirit?"**

"What!? What are you talking about!? Were going Trick-or-Treating! How's that not full of Summerween spirit!?"

Slenderman nodded. **"** **True, but you tried to stop Dipper from having fun this Summerween 'his way', that's just as bad!"**

Mable looked at him confused. "What are you talking about!?"

Slenderman shrugged. **"** **Don't get me wrong...he shouldn't have lied to you...but let's be honest; if he HAD told you the truth...you would've just guilt tripped him into doing things YOUR way with the 'family comes first' Aesop that seems to always favor you!"**

"The what Aesop?" Asked Mable confused. "What are you-

" **ENOUGH JIBBER JABBER!"** Interrupts Slenderman with a deafening roar. **"** **You have until the last Jack-O-Melon is blown out to gather 500 candies...or else-**

He pauses to bite the head off the nearby Gorney, killing him instantly.

The three frightened girls cried and vomit. Slenderman laughs. **"** **Oh...and for the sake of poetic irony-**

 **ZAP!**

 **YOU HAVE TO DO IT ALL NAKED!**

Laughs the Eldritch Abomination as he leaves the lot of them naked, crying and shivering...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	138. A summerween to remember--- 2

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **AN: HAPPY HALLOWEEN!**

...

A naked Candy snarled at Mable, "I told you pranking your brother was a bad idea!" And then Candy frowned in deep though..."and yet my punishment is no less severe...What's up with that?"

Mable shook her head, "Never mind that now! You heard that...thing? -Anyway, we need to get 500 candies or were dead! So let's get cracking!" She shouted as she -reluctantly- walked to town. Candy flushed, "W-wait...were REALLY going to do this? NAKED?" She asked mortified.

Grenda grabbed her roughly by the shoulder and dragged her along after an equally embarrassed Mable, "Swallow your pride girlfriend! It's HAIL MARY TIME!"

Candy sighed, "So much for saving myself for my wedding night." Said the melancholy American-Asian girl...

...

" _What was I thinking!?"_ Cursed Dipper to himself as he hide behind a tree outside Tambry's house. Intoxicated by his 'victory' over Mable, he'd apparently ran all the way here -unseen, thank the good lord for small favors- before realizing he was going to a party with his teen crush...practically NAKED save for a wool loincloth! _"How did I not realize how STUPID this idea was!? I can't go in like this!"_

Unfortunately...his options were limited. He couldn't go back the way he came, the streets were now full of partying teens. He couldn't stay here, the cold front was moving in and he'd FREEZE to death if he stayed out here! He couldn't even claim it was a costume- no one else was wearing a costume! Dipper had never felt so trapped before...

An invisible Slenderman laughed at his predicament, **"Ah...Poor boy...well, what 'upstanding citizen' would I be if I didn't lend a hand?"** He asked to himself with a laugh ah begins to work his magic...

...

Lazy Susan looked at them embarrassed and annoyed. "Uh...yeah...pretty sure that doesn't count as a costume...please leave before I call the police, I can't afford another violation on my restraining order!" She shouts as she slams the door.

"Oh, come on!" Shouts an annoyed Mable as she and her friends shivered miserably...

...

 **SPLASH!**

Oh, come on!" Shouts Dipper as a car rushing by splashed him with cold water, completely soaking him. Now he was even more freezing, worse wool loincloth and cold water were not a good mix!

Dipper sighed annoyed, "Great...all I need is Wendy to inexplicably pop up here to see me like this and the night will be 'complete'." He groused miserably.

"Sorry, i guess you'll have to make do with me." Said a familiar voice behind him. Dipper whimpered as he turned around...to see Tambry...her picture phone poised and ready.

"Oh, no." Groaned Dipper.

"Oh, yes." Said an ecstatic Tambry...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	139. City on the hill

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

imperialwar1234: Uh, yeah...no. I DON'T do vore...ever.

...

 **AN: dose anyone have any recommendations for songs for gravity falls / christian song-fics? (or at least christian like?)**

...

An old Ford Pines rocked on his chair...looked over the long abandoned Gravity Falls...and sighed as he reminisced over 'better times'...

 **Did you hear of the city on the hill**  
 **Said one old man to the other**  
 **It once shined bright, and it would be shining still**  
 **But they all started turning on each other**

"I'm done with you." Said Sixer to a crying Crescent moon as he left...for good...

 **You see the poets thought the dancers were shallow**

"Why can't you ever take anything seriously?!" Shouted Pine Tree to an equally annoyed Shooting Star...

 **And the soldiers thought the poets were weak**

"Give it up man...your just too young and weird." Said Ice flatly to a broken heated Pine Tree.

 **And the elders saw the young ones as foolish**

"Not now Kiddo." Said Glasses harshly to his son as he got back to work...

 **And the rich man never heard the poor man speak**

Llama just kept walking past the pleading beggar without a second glance...

 **But one by one, they ran away**  
 **With their made up minds to leave it all behind**  
 **And the light began to fade**  
 **In the City on the Hill, the City on the Hill**

 **Each one thought that they knew better**  
 **But they were different by design**  
 **Instead of standing strong together**  
 **They let their differences divide**

 **And one by one, they ran away**  
 **With their made up minds to leave it all behind**  
 **And the light began to fade**  
 **In the City on the Hill, the City on the Hill**

 **And the world is searching still**

 **But it was the rhythm of the dancers**  
 **That gave the poets life**

Pine Tree smiled as Shooting Star gave him a valentine...

 **It was the spirit of the poets**  
 **That gave the soldiers strength to fight**

Pine Tree and Ice laughed as their friend ate a moldy waffle...

 **It was fire of the young ones**

Shooting Star played poker(sorta) with a happy crescent moon...

 **It was the wisdom of the old**

Sixer wrote down numerous things in his journal..with an eager Pine tree helping him when he could...

 **It was the story of the poor man**  
 **That needed to be told**

Liama looked at the switch that would let the 'commoners' in...and wondered...

 **It is the rhythm of the dancers**  
 **That gives the poets life**  
 **It is the spirit of the poets**  
 **That gives the soldiers strength to fight**  
 **It is fire of the young ones**  
 **It is the wisdom of the old**  
 **It is the story of the poor man**  
 **That's needing to be told**

 **But one by one we will run away**  
 **With our made up minds to leave it all behind**  
 **As the light begins to fade in the City on the Hill**

 **One by one will we run away?**  
 **With our made up minds to leave it all behind**  
 **As the light begins to fade in the City on the Hill**  
 **The city on the hill**

 **(Come home)**  
 **And the Father's calling still**  
 **(Come home)**  
 **To the city on the hill**  
 **(Come home)**

Question Mark looked toward the ghost town that had been his home for most his life..."You were my Waterloo', He said with a sad sigh as he walked away and never looked back...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: The song is 'City on the Hill' by 'Casting Crowns'**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	140. Ginger vs Blonde 3

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

imperialwar1234: What history?

Guest: huh...interesting idea...don't know how I'll do it though...any other suggestions to help?

...

 **AN: this chapter is a reward to the Howling Behemoth for upholding his/her side of the deal, I strongly recommend reading his/her stories.**

...

Dipper groaned as he clutched his aching groin outside the bunker...Pacifica had responded to the 'situation' by stamping on his groin multiple times and throwing him out of the Bunker still naked...she then immediately felt terrible both because she did that to the boy who just saved her from her abusive father...ANNNND because she was now all alone in a dark, scary bunker with NO idea how to navigate or survive the deathtraps without Dipper...

Unfortunately...while tossing him out...she accidentally tripped an emergency switch or something...locking Dipper out and her inside...Dipper was now trying to walk her through reprogramming-

 **ZAP!**

 **GAH!**

Dipper sighed, "Electrocuted yourself again?" He asked through the door... for the tenth time. "II...can taste...fillings...on purple." Mumbled the smoking Pacifica deliriously.

Dipper sighed...being thrown outside wet and naked during a cold summer night was NOT fun...but- "Okay, take a rest...and we'll try again in an hour or so when your better... "Applesauce...raspberry." responds Pacifica

 **GRAAAHHHH!**

Dipper's eye's widened, he'd recognized that angry yell anywhere! "Wendy?!" He flustered, and tried to find somewhere to hide...only to hear her cry again...this time a cry of pain.

Modesty forgotten, he runs to the source...

Wendy groans...she'd just been about to go to bed...she hadn't had the best day...the Northwests party for one thing...and her father going to it...Why? After everything the Northwests had done.

And then she was attacked by an invisible psycho! **"YOU'LL PAY CORDUROY! YOU'LL PAY FOR WHAT YOU DID TO ME!"** Shouted the... whoever.

Wendy groaned, she'd thought IT tooth and nail all the way from her house to the woods...but whatever it was was too nimble, quick, and full with zany magic spells...she was pretty sure she'd nicked him once...and he fell hard...he quickly recoverd. But it was obvious he was the definition of a 'squishy wizard'...if she could JUST see him...JUST long enough to get a clean shot...OH! What she wouldn't give to have Dipper here with her!

WENDY! HIT HIM WHEN MY BLOOD- GAH!

Wendy was baffled and horrified to see a naked Dipper jump in front of her just in time to take a blow to the back...spraying everything in blood...and suddenly her foe was VERY visible.

Face hot with tears, Wendy steadied her hands and raised her axe...determined not to let her friends sacrifice be in vain...

 **GAH!**

She ran screaming at the now visible wizrad...while Dipper barely clung to life...

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	141. Shinobi Falls 2

Tales of the Falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

imperialwar1234: Um, your welcome...but what do you mean by history? What are you talking about?

Guest: Oh, that's perfect! Thank you! I'll add that to the list

...

 **AN: this chapter is a reward to the Howling Behemoth for upholding his/her side of the deal, I strongly recommend reading his/her stories.**

...

It was genin graduation day and Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke were waiting for the new and TARDY sensei...but who cares about them?

...5 hours earlier...

Wendy sighed as she got team 13 right on time; Dipper could barely contain himself as Wendy turned out to be their Sensei. Wendy marched them all to a nearby training field, "Alright...first of all I'm supposed to ask name, likes, dislikes, dreams...let's give it a go."

After a flustered Dipper stumbled through his- in order: Dipper Pines, mystery- adventure- my sister- Wendy-chan, people who hurt the people he cares about, and to date Wendy(that last one was more mumbled then audible)...it was Mable's turn.

"I'm Mable pines! I like knitting, art, animals, unicorns, cute boys, pranks, my brother. I dislike bitches who play with my brothers heart- glares at an uncomfortable Wendy with that last thing. And my dream...well, I don't really know...I mainly became a ninja to keep Dipper from dying...but I'm actually starting to like it...so I guess I'll just see where that takes me...?"

And then it was an annoyed looking Pacifica's turn. "I'm Pacifica Northwest; of THE Northwest Clan-

"Your not a clan." Interrupted Dipper.

"Oh, for the love of- READ YOUR VILLAGE CHARTER!" Snaps Pacifica.

"There's only 3 of you in your family at the moment- a clan needs to be at least 100(minus extenuating circumstances allowing for 'blood limits') -AND far as I know your the ONLY ninja that's ever come out of that family-

"We owned the land that Hashirama and Madarra bartered from us to make the village! In addition to the royalties we get, we also have clan status! So there!" She sticks her tongue at Dipper defiantly...Dipper just glares.

Wendy coughed, "Okay break it up you two. Please continue Pacifica."

"Right- Anyway, I'd like to be ANYWHERE but here. I Dislike how my father is forcing me to be a ninja for tax reasons. And my dream is to find a way out of this nightmare!"

 _"Ironically...I'm going to grant your wish...spoiled brat."_ Thought Wendy to herself...she didn't like doing this...but she needed more time to...figure the situation out...maybe...maybe help Dipper be with a girl his own age? Anyway, she had to give them an exam SOOOOOOOOOOOO difficult, they'll forfeit and have to spend another year at the academy...

...

"Your challenge is spend an entire night in the forest of death! I'll give you an hour to get your things, make whatever preparations you want, then in you go!" Wendy smiled as Mable and Pacifica looked ready to pee themselves at the sight of the infamous training ground...

 _"Wait, just Mable and Pacifica? Where's Dip-"_

 **FWOOM!**

Wendy turned around as the entire forest burst into flames...as Dipper poured more of a strange liquid onto it... "The fire should die out before our hour is up!" He shouted at the dumbstruck girls...

...

Sarutobi sighed at the four who stood before him, "Well, your _technically_ right Dipper your team leader- he gives a look to Wendy who backs away in fright -did tell you to 'make whatever preparations you want' which _technically_ can mean burn down the forest to kill off any deadly wildlife/fauna...also she only said you had to spend the night in the forest...she never _technically_ said the forest had to be healthy."

Dipper saluted, "Just trying to look underneath the underneath, sir!" He shouted happily. Despite the situation, Sarutobi couldn't help but smile sincerely. "A valuable skill for a shinobi indeed...and since at this point making you spend the night in the forest would be pointless...I hereby declare that you've passed...go out and celebrate...I need to have a _talk_ with Wendy." He says that last bit darkly.

Wendy gulps as they leave. Sarutobi glares at Wendy, "Wendy, what were you thinking? Sending GENIN to stay in the forest of death!?"

Wendy cringed under her disappointed glare- No, they were supposed to forfeit BEFORE they went in! It never...never occurred to me-

-That Dipper would outsmart you?...starting to notice a pattern here Wendy...I like to think that I've been VERY patient with your 'situation' but now it's affecting the village!"

Wendy sighed, "I understand sir." She admitted in shame. Sarutobi smoked his pipe to steady his nerves, "Since no one got hurt and in fairness you- or anyone really -couldn't be expected to anticipate their Genin pulling such a stunt...I'll let you off with a warning- But know this! If I hear any word that your DELIBERATELY trying to derail your students progress again- even if it's in a non-malicious fashion -You will be deeply punished by ME personally!"

Wendy whimpered, her dad told her war stories of when Sarutobi 'the professor' took the field...it was NEVER pretty.

"Your to train them to the best of your ability and enter them in this years Chunin exam-

"What?! But...that's not nearly enough time! People die in those exams!"

Sarutobi shook his head, "You've only yourself to blame for the current situation Wendy...either train them so their good enough to survive...or tell Dipper the truth!"

Wendy groaned...but nodded. "By the way...you should know that you've 'volunteered' to pay the dozen D-rank missions required to rebuild the forest of death." Said Sarutobi sardonically.

Wendy paled "...how much?" Sarutobi smirked, "Oh not to worry...your FATHER has taken care of the expenses directly from your clan treasury...he's waiting for you at home to discuss _REPAYMENT."_

Anyone who saw Wendy walking home would think she was walking to the executioners block...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	142. Shut me out

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

The Howling Behemoth: 1. I aim to please 2. that'll all depend on how fast your next update is. 3. I like him too...

NyaNyaKittyFace: I'll give you a hint...their founder took one look at the star technique of one of the founding clans and deemed it 'impractical' and strived/succeeded in making it more universally useful...

...

 **AN: dose anyone have any recommendations for songs for gravity falls / christian song-fics? (or at least christian like?)**

...

Dipper banged his fist into the wall, "Why won't they listen to me!?" He demanded.

 **Tell me something I don't already know**  
 **I know that you can't stand these things I'm preaching in the streets**  
 **But how can I contain the truth I hold inside**  
 **With all the hurting people that I see**

 _"Look, kid. The whole "monsters in the forest" thing is just local legend, drummed up by guys like me to sell merch to guys like that. So quit being so paranoid!..."_

 **So I don't mind putting up with you**  
 **And all the things you say**  
 **I'm not about to stop**  
 **Or even change my ways**

 **There's nothing you can say!**  
 **That will take me away from this life**  
 **There's nothing you can do**  
 **To shut me up when I'm speaking the truth!**

 _"Now how's about you being a normal kid. Flirt with a girl, or steal a pie off a window sill..."_

 **You may not like all I have to say**  
 **But you can't prove that everything is filled with empty words**  
 **I know my life and inside how I've changed**  
 **A testimony to the truth I speak**

 **So I don't mind putting up with you**  
 **And all the things you say**  
 **I'm not about to stop**  
 **Or even change my ways**

 _"Can't you go one night without searching for aliens or raising the dead or whatever?"_

 **There's nothing you can say!**  
 **That will take me away from this life**  
 **There's nothing you can do**  
 **To shut me off, to shut me out when I'm speaking the truth!**

 _"I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times! (Grabs phone from Dipper) There's nothing "supernatural" going on in Gravity Falls!"_

 **There's nothing you can say!**  
 **That will take me away from this life**  
 **There's nothing you can do**  
 **To shut me up when I'm speaking the truth!**

 _"And I am not gonna let you ruin it with one of your crazy CONSPIRACIES! (Slams the door)"_

 **There's nothing you can say!**  
 **That will take me away from this life**  
 **There's nothing you can do**  
 **To shut me off, to shut me out when I'm speaking the truth!**

Dipper packs up his things...and leaves the shack...never looking back...off to embrace his own destiny...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: HAPPY THANKSGIVING!**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	143. Soul Survivor

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

Superior Tennyson: Well, i know about and had plans for the last two, but that first one sounds interesting, I'll give it a listen. The story ideas sound interesting too...

The Howling Behemoth: Great! I have some original stuff in here, too give them a read as well!

MysterD47: I saw it...might need a bit more detail before I can do anything else with it.

Guest: Well...it's a START of a good story...but I might need more detail before I can do anything with it.

...

 **AN: dose anyone have any recommendations for songs for gravity falls / christian song-fics? (or at least christian like?)**

...

Dipper sighed...it's been 2 weeks since Bill was defeated...2 weeks since the last time he saw another human being...It took 2 weeks to build this machine to find other human life...Only for it to find none...he was all that was left. A 12 year-old Dipper sighed as he dejectedly walked back to the ruins of the Mystery Shack...

 **I am a ghost  
This is a dream  
There's something here  
It calls to me  
I sense it cause it's always there  
So silent as I stare and stare**

A 15 year-old Dipper wipes away a tear as he finds the torn and bloody remains of a Question mark shirt...

 _...I know who my family is now...And it's you dudes..._

 **There is a light, when were asleep**  
 **We're barely doors, with locks and keys**  
 **With feelings of our hopes and fears**  
 **As sounds explode within our ears**

A 21 year-old Dipper just looks at the remains of the green flannel shirt...and remembers...

 _...Lemme tell you something: this summer was SUPER boring until you showed up. I have more fun with you than, like, practically anybody else; and if you ever stopped being my friend, I would, like, throw myself into the Bottomless Pit!..._

 **Like stars at night falling fast asleep on the risen sun**  
 **Wait patiently**  
 **You can feel it cause it's always there**  
 **Quite stronger as you stare and stare**  
 **Like love and lies shake violently**  
 **Down to the core too fast to grieve**  
 **It has a way to keep me down**  
 **I gotta say it wears me out**

Despite the grotesque appearance of the corpses remains. A 33 year-old Dipper couldn't help but chuckle at all-too-familiar blonde hair. "I guess you were a natural blonde after all, my mistake."

 _..."Just because your your parents daughter doesn't mean you have to be like them"...Pacifica turns to him and smiles..._

 **So sadly soul survivors  
Lost and lonely in open water  
Yeah oh  
Yeah oh  
Yeah oh  
Yeah oh**

A 42 year-old Dipper tentatively picked up a pair of broken but familiar glasses...

... _Alright. You've entered the chamber. Princess Unatainabelle beckons you. But WAIT! IT'S A TRAP!..._

 **Help I'm losing, help I'm falling**  
 **Life is silent, the earth is calling**  
 **Every reason, every nighttime**  
 **And every day starts and ends in sunlight**  
 **But I'm not okay with this vicious cycle**  
 **Something's broken, it seems unnatural**  
 **The shapes are wondrous, but loosely woven**  
 **The sounds are deafening, and time is frozen**

In a fit of nostalgia...fifty-something year-old Dipper put the old fezz on his head.

... _He's really comin' along! When push comes to shove, I'm actually proud of him. Just... don't ever tell him that. His head is big enough as it is..._

 **Yo oh oh oh  
Yo oh oh oh **

**Yo oh oh oh**

 **Yo oh oh oh**

 **Yo oh oh oh**

 **Yo oh oh oh**

 **Yo oh oh oh**

 **Yo oh oh oh**

Dipper long lost track of how old he was...at the moment he felt 12 again...he wept as he clutched his sisters bloody sweater to his chest...

 _...This journal told me there was no one in Gravity Falls I could trust. But when you battle a hundred gnomes side by side with someone, you realize that they've probably always got your back..._

 **So sadly soul survivors  
Lost and lonely in open water**

Dipper, sighed as the machines worked their magic...he pointed the gun to his head...and squeezed the trigger...

 **Yeah oh  
Yeah oh  
Yeah oh  
Yeah oh**

Out of an old Bunker...a feeble old man climbs out...he's quickly followed by a bunch of little kids who go run around and play. The old man smiles as a 5 year-old version of himself played with 5 year-old versions of everyone who once lived in his town...it wasn't an ideal solution...but for now...it'll do...

 **So sadly soul survivors**  
 **Lost and lonely in open water**  
 **Yeah oh**  
 **Yeah oh**  
 **Yeah oh**  
 **Yeah oh**

 **"DETECTING LIFE...VERIFY LOCATION...Good evening, tonight has been a wonderful experiment of human contact. A symbiotic relationship between man, and machine, and you. The human brain is capable of millions of connections. Each one is a memory, an event. Tonight shall not be remembered by one, but by thousands of these relationships. As you leave here, tonight, close your eyes, and travel back to here, to now, and always remember that this was one moment. You were not alone, and you felt something that thousands of others have felt, and it was...LOVE..."**

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: This song is 'soul Survivor and belongs to 'angels and airwaves'**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	144. If everyone cared

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

...

 **AN: dose anyone have any recommendations for songs for gravity falls / christian song-fics? (or at least christian like?)**

...

Dipper just looked up to the sky...and sighed...

 **From underneath the trees, we watch the sky**  
 **Confusing stars for satellites**  
 **I never dreamed that you'd be mine**  
 **But here we are, we're here tonight**

 **Singing amen, I, I'm alive**  
 **Singing amen, I, I'm alive**

Ford looked at a picture of a younger him and Stan ridding the Stan 'o' War...and just shook his head...

 **If everyone cared and nobody cried**  
 **If everyone loved and nobody lied**  
 **If everyone shared and swallowed their pride**  
 **Then we'd see the day when nobody died**

 **And I'm singing**

 **Amen I, amen I, I'm alive**  
 **Amen I, amen I, amen I, I'm alive**

Wendy wanted to scream...her family had trashed the house, AGAIN! She stormed away into the woods frustrated...

 **And in the air the fireflies**  
 **Our only light in paradise**  
 **We'll show the world they were wrong**  
 **And teach them all to sing along**

 **Singing amen, I, I'm alive**  
 **Singing amen, I, I'm alive**

Pacifica sighed as she remained locked in her room...grounded for doing ONE right thing in her miserable life...

 **If everyone cared and nobody cried**  
 **If everyone loved and nobody lied**  
 **If everyone shared and swallowed their pride**  
 **Then we'd see the day when nobody died**

 **If everyone cared and nobody cried**  
 **If everyone loved and nobody lied**  
 **If everyone shared and swallowed their pride**  
 **Then we'd see the day when nobody died**

Mable sighed depressed as she saw that summer was coming to a close...and so was her childhood...

 **When nobody died...**

Wendy called up Dipper...

Dipper and Mable comforted each other...

Ford hesitates..then knocks on his twin brothers door...

Pacifica climbed out of her window...and snuck out of her yard...

 **And as we lie beneath the stars**  
 **We realize how small we are**  
 **If they could love like you and me**  
 **Imagine what the world could be**

 **If everyone cared and nobody cried**  
 **If everyone loved and nobody lied**  
 **If everyone shared and swallowed their pride**  
 **Then we'd see the day when nobody died**

 **If everyone cared and nobody cried**  
 **If everyone loved and nobody lied**  
 **If everyone shared and swallowed their pride**  
 **Then we'd see the day when nobody died**

Ford lead Stan down the dock, his eyes covered...he took them off and saw the Stan 'o' war being rebuilt by niece, nephew, Wendy, pacifica, and Soos...

 **We'd see the day, we'd see the day**  
 **When nobody died**  
 **We'd see the day, we'd see the day**  
 **When nobody died**  
 **We'd see the day when nobody died**

"ONWARD!" Shouts Mable at the helm as they shove off...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: the song is 'If everyone cared' by Nickleback**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	145. Burning Mable

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

Guest: Better, I'd have to tweak it a bit...but this is definitely the start of a good story.

Superior Tennyson: Actually...I'm sorta already doing that in 'Friendship-ISN'T magic?' story.

Wolfang21: Thanks

The Howling Behemoth: discussed on PM, thank you

...

Slanderman smirked as he once more assumed his 'Slipper' persona and led Mable into a government building. "Dipper, why are we here?" Asked Mable confused to her 'brother'.

'Dipper' smirked, "I've found a potential lead on the author...but it's inside government records. So while I hack the database you create a diversion."

Mable squealed excitedly, "Oh! This is a caper! Like in the movies!" "Speaking of movies, have you ever seen 'man on fire'?" Asked Slipper as he took out a lighter.

"Oh! Is that the one where they- And like that, Slipper had set Mable on fire.

 **GAH! GAH! SWEET BUNYAN NO! I COULDN'T BE IN MORE PAIN!"**

Screamed Mable as she flailed about ablaze, everyone's attention was naturally on her...allowing Dipper to slip to the computer undetected...

He quickly searched the database, "Ah! There it is! This lead DOSE look promising. Now to just print out the intel- He quickly types in the command...only for it to beep negatively?

"L-5 error?"

 **MOMMY HELP ME I BURN! I BURN!**

Screams Mable as frantic people throw a blanket over her to smother the flames..for a moment..she's fine..then-

 **FWOOM!**

The blanket is consumed and the fires on Mable are somehow even MORE agonizingly painful then they were before!

"So I've restarted the printer." Explained Slipper to the tech support guy over the phone. "I'm standing by the printer, i'm walking to the computer, I'm at the computer, I'm typing in the command code to print- BEEP! -No, L-5 error again." States Slipper Baffled.

 **MY BONES! MY BONES ARE MELTING! SOMEONE KILL ME!**

Shouts Mable just as someone dumps a water cooler on her...for a moment..she's free..then-

 **SPARK**

 **SPARK**

 **SPARK!**

And like that, she's on fire again!

"Well, if the printer won't work. We can just re-route it to another printer." Explained the tech-support guy as he physically worked the computer while Slipper watched-

Beep! "No, L-5 error again...so it's not the printer." Observed Slipper. "Strange." Stated the tech support dude as he scratched his chin puzzled. "Of course, you could always just copy the information down with a pen and paper." He points out.

Slipper chuckles, "Technology, huh? One step forward, two steps back. Am I right?" He says with a smile as he copies the info down.

The tech support guy also chuckles, "Hey, keeps me in business." He says in a good-natured fashion. "That it dose, that it dose." Responds Slipper playfully.

He then walks past a frazzled Mable who's FINALLY been put out...she quickly follows him...she chuckles nervously. "Heh, heh...hey Dipper...bro...you knew I would survive that...right?"

Slipper just walked out the door without a passing glance or response.

...I'm just going to assume yes and preserve the friendship." Says Mable finally...

No one sees Slenderman exit Dipper body laughing...and turning to the readers...

 **May all our stories end so well! Until next time!**

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	146. Carnivore

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

...

 **AN: dose anyone have any recommendations for songs for gravity falls / christian song-fics? (or at least christian like?)**

...

Dipper slumped on his bed...sobbing...

 **All my life they let me know**  
 **How far I would not go**  
 **But inside the beast still grows waiting**  
 **Chewing through the ropes**

 **Who are you to change this world?**

 _Mocked Chief Blubs_

 **Silly Boy!**

 _Teased Grunkle Stan_

 **No one needs to hear your words.**

 _Scoffed Robbie_

 **Let it go.**

 _Placated Mable  
_

 **Carnivore! Carnivore!**  
 **Won't you come digest me?**  
 **Take away everything I am.**  
 **Bring it to an end.**  
 **Carnivore! Carnivore!**  
 **Could you come and change me?**  
 **Take away everything I am.**  
 **Everything I am.**

Dipper packs up everything...

 **I will hide myself below**  
 **I'll be what you wanted**  
 **Kept inside I won't let go**  
 **'Till I burn beyond control**

Dipper marches out to the woods alone...

 **Who are you to change this world?**

 _Taunted Gideon._

 **Silly Boy!**

 _Laughed Bill cipher._

 **No one needs to hear your words.**

 _Said Preston flatly._

 **Let it go.**

 _Said Stan firmly._

 **Carnivore! Carnivore!**  
 **Won't you come digest me?**  
 **Take away everything I am.**  
 **Bring it to an end.**  
 **Make me fall. Make me bleed.**  
 **Go ahead and change me?**  
 **Take away everything I am.**  
 **Everything I am.**

Dipper consults the journal while he walks...

 **Never enough**  
 **(Who I am is not good enough)**  
 **Never enough**  
 **(Who I am)**

Dipper shoots a werewolf with one of Stan's guns...without stopping...

 **Carnivore! Carnivore!**  
 **Won't you come digest me?**  
 **Take away everything I am.**  
 **Bring it to an end.**  
 **Carnivore! Carnivore!**  
 **Could you come and change me?**  
 **Take away everything I am.**  
 **Everything I am...**

Without looking back...Dipper walks into the unknown...and that would be the last his family would see of him for many years...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: the song is 'Carnivore' by Starset  
**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	147. Mable dose the right thing

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

The Howling Behemoth: you 2. ...I'm not so crazy about it anymore, I no longer recommend it. It's just gone downhill(for me) 3. This was intended as a one-shot...unless you have any ideas?

gamelover41592: thank you, again thank you

Superior Tennyson: I'm actually already planning to do something like that in another story..but I might do something similar here(who knows?) And yes, I have heard of Runaway. Loved it.

mperialwar1234: Glad you like it. How's your 'shake up the falls' story coming along?

RasenganFin: Sadly yes, I used to be a fan...but now it's just gotten disgusting, I no longer recommend it.

Guest: Awesome, I'm Soooo doing that, thank you!

Neo Tastsuji aka Zeta Master: Glad you like it, and I'm open to 'Shake up the falls' bribes.

...…...

Mable was ecstatic! Not only was she going to get Waddles, but she'd also helped Dipper fix his mistake! Now she could-

"fifteen pounds! We have a winner! Congratulations! You've won a- Sweet GRANDMA, what the blood happened to your face!?"

The mutilated little girl just smiled sweetly, "Sorry sir...that's just the leprosy. Could I have the pig now? Me an the other leper orphans haven't had anything to eat besides rat droppings and garbage since the Leper orphanage shut down over a week ago and we'd been forced to live on the streets..."

Sprott just gave a weird look...then cautiously handed Waddles over to her in a way that he wouldn't touch her...the girl then dragged the struggling pig away...

A surprisingly tranquil looking Mable said nothing...she just turned around...and walked back the other direction...

...

Dipper took a break from having fun with Wendy, when he saw mable walk by. "Hey Mable, where are you-

"I'm going back to the Shack and lock myself there the rest of the day before I'm tempted to do ANYTHING, I regret." Said Mable, trying VERY hard not to cry as she quickly walks awy from Dipper...she had a loooooong trip to sweaterland to look forward to...

Dipper frowns at this odd statement...then just shrugs it off as 'Mable being Mable' and rejoined Wendy...

...

Unseen to all, the orphan girl smirks as she witnesses the whole thing...pig still struggling to get away...the 'girl then turns to Slenderman. He then turns to the audience-

 **May all our stories end so well!**

He pauses to take a large bite out of Waddles internal organs...allowing them to spill on the grass...

 **Until next time!**

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	148. Don't waste your life

**Tales of the Falls**

 **I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!**

...responses...

gamelover41592: I know, right? Much better ending(minus Slenderman of course)

imperialwar1234: (looks it up) Yikes man...I'm sorry. Best of luck to you...for what it's worth...you'll be in my prayers...

...

 **AN: dose anyone have any recommendations for songs for gravity falls / christian song-fics? (or at least christian like?)**

...

 _"STANFORD!" Shouts Stanley Pines as his brother went into the portal...and vanished forever..._

 _"No..." He groaned..._

 **Aye let's go**

 **Don't waste yuh life man...**

 **I know a lot of people out there scared they're gone die**  
 **A couple of them thinking they'll be livin' in the sky**  
 **But while I'm here livin' man I gotta ask why, what am here fo' I gotta figure out**  
 **Waste my life**  
 **No I gotta make it count**  
 **If Christ is real then what am I gonna do about**  
 **Everything in Luke 12: 15 down to 21**  
 **You've really gotta go and check it out**  
 **Paul said if Christ ain't resurrected we've wasted our lives**  
 **Well that implies that our life's built around Jesus being alive**  
 **Everyday I'm living tryin' to show the world why**

 _"Kings of New Jersey! Kings of New Jersey! Kings of New Jersey!"Shouted the young Stans...  
_

 **Christ is more than everything you'll ever try**

 **Better than pretty women and sinning and living to get a minute of any women and men that you admire**  
 **It ain't no lie**

 **We're created for Him**  
 **Outta the dust he made us for Him**  
 **Elects us and he saves us for Him**  
 **Jesus comes and he raises for Him**

 _"Are you kidding me? Why would I want to do anything with the person who sabotaged my entire future?!"_

 **Magnify the Father why bother with something lesser**

 **He made us so we could bless Him**  
 **To the world we confess Him**  
 **Resurrects Him**

 **So I know I got life**  
 **Matter fact better man I know I got Christ**  
 **If you don't see His ways in my days and nights**

 **You can hit my brakes you can stop my life**  
 **Then I lost my rights**  
 **I lost my life**

 **Forget the money cars and toss that ice**  
 **The cost is Christ**  
 **And they could never offer me anything on the planet that would cost that price.**

 _"You ignoramus! Your brother was gonna be our ticket out of this dump! All you ever do is lie and cheat right on your brother's coattails. Well this time you cost our family potential millions! And until you make us a fortune, you aren't welcome in this household."_

 **Don't wanna waste my life, life, life**  
 **Don't wanna waste my life, life, life**  
 **Don't wanna waste my**  
 **Don't wanna waste my**

 **Don't wanna waste my life, life, life**  
 **Don't wanna waste my life, life, life**  
 **Don't wanna waste my life, life, life**  
 **Don't wanna waste my**

 **Don't wanna waste my**

 _Hi! I'm Stan Pines of Stan Co. Enterprises. Are sick of this always happening to you? (A pitcher of juice is thrown at him, getting juice all over him) Then you need the Shammy of the future! (Begins to wipe himself off, then the commercial skips ahead to him completely clean) Made with the same material astronauts use to clean up cranberry stains on the moon! That's the Sham Total! It's a total sham._

 **Armed and dangerous**  
 **So the devil just can't hang with us**  
 **Christian youth them will stand with us**  
 **Living and driven**  
 **Given a vision**

 **Fulfilling the commission he handed us**  
 **London to Los Angeles**  
 **The rap evangelist**  
 **My daddy wouldn't abandon us**  
 **I gotta backpack full of tracts and I keep it on the Johnny mac**  
 **So are you ready to jam with us**  
 **So let's go, give me the word an let's go**  
 **Persecution let's go**

 **Tribulation let's go**  
 **Across the nation let's go**  
 **Procrastination let's go**  
 **Hung on the cross in the cold**  
 **Died for the young and the old**  
 **Can't say you never know**  
 **Heaven knows how many souls are going to hell or to heaven so we gotta go in to get them**

 **Don't wanna waste my life, life, life**  
 **Don't wanna waste my life, life, life**  
 **Don't wanna waste my**  
 **Don't wanna waste my**  
 **Don't wanna waste my life, life, life**  
 **Don't wanna waste my life, life, life**  
 **Don't wanna waste my life, life, life**  
 **Don't wanna waste my**  
 **Don't wanna waste my**

 _Hi! I'm Steve Pinington! (Pulls at Band-aid on his arm) Are you sick of bandages that are hard to remove? Then what you need is the Rip Off! The Rip Off won't give you rashes, I repeat: it won't give you rashes._

 **Suffer?**  
 **Yeah, do it for Christ!**  
 **You're trying to figure what to do with your life**  
 **If you make a lot of money hope you're doing it right**  
 **Because the money is God's you better steward it right**  
 **And stay focused**  
 **You ain't got no ride**  
 **Your life ain't wrapped up in what you drive**  
 **The clothes you wear, the job you work**  
 **The color your skin naw you're a Christian first**  
 **People get to living for a job**  
 **Make a little money start living for a car**  
 **Get 'em a wife a house kids and a dog**  
 **Then they retire they're living high on the hog**  
 **But guess what they didn't ever really live at all**  
 **To live is Christ and that's Paul I recall**  
 **To die is gain so for Christ we give it all**  
 **He's the treasure you'll never find in a mall**  
 **Your money your singleness marriage talent your time**  
 **They were loaned to you to show the world that Christ is Divine**  
 **That's why it's Christ in my rhymes**

 _"The stan vacs! They suck more then anything!" SLAM! "...Gotta work on that..."  
_

 **That's why it's Christ all the time**  
 **See my whole world is built around Him He's the life in my lines**  
 **I refuse to waste my life**  
 **He's too true to chase that ice**  
 **Here's my gifts and time**  
 **'Cause I'm constantly trying to be used to praise the Christ**  
 **If he's truly raised to life**  
 **Then this news should change your life**  
 **And by his grace you can put your faith in place that rules your days and nights**

 _Stan wept over his brother's disappearance for days..._

 **Don't wanna waste my life, life, life**  
 **Don't wanna waste my life, life, life**  
 **Don't wanna waste my life, life, life**  
 **Don't wanna waste my**  
 **Don't wanna waste my**

"Yes, that's it! Just hand it over and I'll do my thing. Unless you're ready to leave Gravity Falls." Said 'Blendin'.

 **Don't wanna waste my life, life, life**  
 **Don't wanna waste my life, life, life**  
 **Don't wanna waste my life, life, life**

"...Just a little more summer." Said mable as she hands the rift over to him

 **Don't wanna waste my**  
 **Don't wanna waste my life!**

-Only to be stopped by STAN!?

"No deal." Said Stan...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **MERRY CHRISTMAS!**

 **AN: the song is 'Don't waste your life' by Lecrae**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	149. We Live

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

Gamelover41592: thank you

imperialwar1234: Merry (late) Christmas and a happy new year back at you!

Jon: I'm willing to take bribes in the form of 'Shake up the Falls' chapters

Korm: I'm willing to take bribes in the form of 'Shake up the Falls' chapters

Superior Tennyson: Huh, interesting...could you give me more details?

...

 **AN: dose anyone have any recommendations for songs for gravity falls / christian song-fics? (or at least christian like?)**

...

Wendy stared at a wall...and rethought EVERYTHING. _"I...I nearly died tonight...I almost DIED...GHOSTS tried to kill me...ghosts are REAL...and Dipper...Dipper saved me..._

 **There's a cross on the side of the road**  
 **Where a mother lost her son**  
 **How could she know that the morning he left**  
 **Would be the last time she'd trade with him for a little more time**  
 **(so she could say she loved him one last time)**  
 **And hold him tight**  
 **But with life we never know when we're coming up to the end of the road**  
 **So what do we do then**  
 **With tragedy around the bend**

Wendy didn't know when she left the house...but she did..she looked toward the forest...and wondered what new horrors awaited there...and yet...she couldn't also help but look at the stars above...and wonder what new WONDERS also awaited for her...

 **We live, we love, we forgive and never give up**  
 **Cuz the days we are given are gifts from above**  
 **And today we remember to live and to love**  
 **We live, we love, we forgive and never give up**  
 **Cuz the days we are given are gifts from above**  
 **And today we remember to live and to love**

Wendy stops by the old neighborhood...were a more innocent, young, red-headed girl used to play, ride trikes, get embarrassed when her friend blurted her crush to a cute older boy...

Wendy frowned, _"Wait...that boy...so familiar...but that's impossible...just like... the ghosts...were..._

And like that, Wendy's horizon's became infinite...

 **There's a man who waits for the tests to**  
 **See if the cancer had spread yet**  
 **And now he asks why did I wait to live 'til it was time to die**  
 **If I could have the time back, how I'd live**  
 **Life is such a gift**  
 **So how does the story end?**  
 **Well, this is your story and it all depends**  
 **So don't let it become true**  
 **Get out and do what we were meant to do**

Wendy sat by a tombstone...a tear escaped her eyes...

 **We live, we love, we forgive and never give up**  
 **Cuz the days we are given are gifts from above**  
 **And today we remember to live and to love**  
 **We live, we love, we forgive and never give up**  
 **Cuz the days we are given are gifts from above**  
 **And today we remember to live and to love**

It was a determined Wendy that walked down the old road...the sun peaking over the mountains...the promise of a new day beckoned...

 **Waking up to another dark morning**  
 **People are mourning**  
 **The weather in life outside is storming**  
 **But what would it take for the clouds to break**  
 **For us to realize each day**  
 **Is a gift somehow, someway**  
 **And get our heads up out of this darkness**  
 **And spark this new mindset and start on with life cuz it ain't gone yet**  
 **And tragedy's a reminder to take off the blinders and wake up**  
 **(to live the life)**  
 **We're supposed to take up**  
 **(moving forward)**  
 **With all our heads up**  
 **Cuz life is worth living**

Wendy marched up to the door and knocked...

 **We live, we love, we forgive and never give up**  
 **Cuz the days we are given are gifts from above**  
 **And today we remember to live and to love**  
 **We live, we love, we forgive and never give up**  
 **Cuz the days we are given are gifts from above**  
 **And today we remember to live and to love**

Dipper yawned as he opened the door, he looked up at the Red-headed teen confused. "Wendy? What are you doing her- Dipper stoped talking...it was hard to talk when your crush had just started making out with you...

...

 **HA! YES! SWEET CATHARSIS! Now THAT'S how you handle almost dying by a ghost in a -sorta, kinda, semi, more or less- HEALTHY way! TAKE THAT CANNON!"**

Slenderman turned to the readers-

 **"May ALL our stories end so well...until next time!"**

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: The song is "We Live" by Superchick**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	150. Leaf-Dipper inspired by 'Leaf-HPC'

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

Gamelover41592: thanks

imperialwar1234: I do now

RasenganFin: ...your welcome?

The Howling Behemoth: what is?

Cookiehunter: I'm willing to be bribed in 'Shake up the falls' chapters.

Guest: wow, forgot about that episode...I might just do that...anything you'd like to see happen?

...

Hello! I'm Dipper Pines and I'm about to have my deepest wishes be granted...or rather...I WILL have them granted...when Summer is over...assuming I can do a...TASK.

...let me back up...it all started a week ago...I was rummaging through an antique shop when-

 **CRASH!**

"Oh, no!" Shouted Dipper as he watched the ancient Ming vase shatter on the ground, Dipper looked back and forth...and without realizing it...channeled his Grunkle Stan by whistling innocently, putting his hands in his pockets and backing away slowly...

 **GLOW!**

Suddenly the room was filled with a glow as an ancient genie made of leaves filled the room-

 **WHO HAS SUMMONED ME!? SPEAK UP SO I MAY GRANT THY WISHES!**

Dipper, briefly frozen in amazement, quickly shook off his terror as he tried to shush him...lest the owner hear and Dipper be forced to pay for a priceless vase.

 **ARE THOUGH READY TO FACE THE TRIALS?!**

 **TO FACE ONE'S DARKEST FEARS?!**

Dipper had images of himself slaying dragons, rescuing princesses, uncovering treasure, rescuing princesses, solving mysteries, rescuing princesses...

Dipper just smiled, "Sure, hit me with your best shot!" He shouted excited.

The genie nodded-

 **VERY WELL! THE TRIALS WILL BEGIN! SIMPLY ENDURE THE SHAME UNTIL SUMMERS END AND YOU SHALL BE GRANTED WITH WISHES IN EQUIVALENT TO YOUR SUFFERING!**

Dipper gave him a weird look, "My shame? What are you-

 **REMEMBER; YOUR SHAME WILL BE CONCEALED FROM ALL...UNLESS YOU COVER YOURSELF IN FRONT OF THEM! THEN THEY WILL BE IMMUNE TO THE ILLUSION AND SEE ALL!**

"Wait, I think I need more info-

 **SO I HAVE SPOKEN! SO SHALL IT BE!**

And with a mighty clap of his hands...he was gone...and so were Dipper's clothes! Dipper squealed in shame as he covered his naked body...only to see he was covered by nothing but a single TINY fig leaf...that was smaller then an ipod shuffle...and yet(to his shame) was able to perfectly cover up his freakishly small junk.

"Hey Bro-nerd! Are you done yet? I need to be home in time for Ducktec- GAH! MY EYES!" Screamed a horrified Mable as she attempts to claw her eyes out...

...

Annnd that's how my sister got included in my TRIAL. Oh, and if it wasn't clear: my trial is to walk around summer NAKED(save for a insultingly small fig leaf)...an illusion prevents people from seeing this..as long as I don't cover myself in any way...if I do...the person I covered from can see past the illusion...

It doesn't help matters that the trial actively prevents me from putting any clothes on!

...fortunately, school was out early last week due to budget cuts...I was actually glad when mom and dad sent me and Mable away to Gravity Falls...I was running out of excuses to not go outside or be around other people...what? Just because no one can see me, doesn't make it any less embarrassing!...plus, I'm PRETTY sure the illusion doesn't cover TOUCH...which would be a nightmare to explain.

...and so that's how I came to be walking out naked from the bush with my vomiting and green sister coming behind me to walk to our Grunkle's Shack...

 _"Okay...this shack seems isolated from everywhere else...and the town seems small...okay...I think I can do this! I think-_

"Hey, you guys must be my bosses niece and nephew! I'm Wendy, I work here!" Shouts the very attractive red-headed teen as she walks toward them.

A flustered Dipper whimpers, "I'm in hell' as certain parts of his anatomy went 'stiff'...and poor Mable vomited even more...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: This story was inspired by the manga 'Leaf-Chan' created by 'Leaf-HPC'.**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	151. For love of a Pony

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

Superior Tennyson: thank you

RasenganFin: I can't take the credit, Leaf HPC came up with it for her/his manga, give it a read!

The Howling Behemoth: 1. Unfortunately for her, yes...needless to say she's going to be a bit more open to Dipper staying in Gravity Falls with Ford at the end of summer. 2. gotcha

Gamelover41592: thank you

imperialwar1234: (gun pointed to head) what are you talking about? That Genie was DEFINITELY not Slenderman in disguise...

...

 **Once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria, there were two regal sisters who ruled together and created harmony for all the land. To do this, the eldest used her unicorn powers to raise the sun at dawn; the younger brought out the moon to begin the night. Thus, the two sisters maintained balance for their kingdom and their subjects, all the different types of ponies...**

 **But one day, strange, evil men from a far away land came and kidnapped the elder sister. She tried to free herself, but the enemy was cunning as they were cruel. And for each one that was killed, two more rose in it's place...  
**

 **The eldest was rendered powerless and dragged in chains all the way to a strange, unknown land called Cuba...**

 **...Cuba 1898...**

"Our position is compromised and our influence in Spain is waning...we must move her quickly!" Shouted a voice outside Celestia's cage, Celestia groaned as she tried to wake herself up fully...but it was no good, the drugs they forced on her continued to sap her strength.

 **BANG!**

Suddenly there were shouts outside, and gunfire!

"Kill one and two more will-

 **BANG!**

"You heard him men! Let's kill two more!"

As quickly as the fight began...it ended. "Right, let's see what was worth all this protection shall we lads?" And just like, that the cover was pulled off her cage, revealing the Alicorn to the Rough Riders in all her Splendor.

...They were in awe, and Teddy Roosevelt even more so, "My word...your beautiful!" He exclaimed amazed. "Why, thank you." Said Celestia with a smirk.

Had the Rough Riders not been so busy gaping a the horned, winged, TALKING pony. They'd have been met with the rare sight of Rosevelt fainting...

...

 **Roosevelt freed the princess from her captors and together they helped bridge their two worlds. The friendship they shared inspired others like it..and from friendship came love...and from love came an egg.**

"I'm sorry...Human plus pony equals...a DRAGON!? How dose that even make sense!?" Asked the hysterical doctor. "Oh, hush. It's romantic." Said the mid-wife flatly.

 **Their daughter Sapphira was but the first of many dragons birthed from such a union...and as the dragons came into existence...so did harmony and prosperity came to both nations...**

 **But all things must come to an end...**

...Germany, Berlin 1914...

"TALLY HO!" Shouts President Roosevelt as he rides the Pegasus Spitfire toward the shattered, retreating remnants of the German army. The Ottoman empire was crushed, Austria-Hungary had seized to exist and Germany was about to suffer the WORST defeat in it's history! And they'd only been at this for three months!

...his only regret was that while Spitfire had proven herself a capable soldier/war horse...he'd have preferred to have been riding his wife into battle. But Celestia had mad it very clear that even though she respected his reasons for going to war, she flat out refused to have any part of it.

He supposed he shouldn't complain, victory would soon be his, America was coming out of this the victor more so then anyone else, and he'd be back with his loving wife and daughter soon-

 **BANG!**

...

 **Roosevelt never did see the stray bullet that took his life coming...and thus a day of mourning was declared the same day the 'Great War' came to an end.**

 **Celestia and her daughter went into seclusion to mourn their loss.**

 **But while a nation mourned for the broken family that had given to them so much...evil forces ploted...**

 **Celestia's younger sister Luna was captured...by the successors of the same wicked men that had kidnapped her so many years ago.**

 **...except this time...their was no happy ending...**

 **The younger sister was experimented, tortured and brainwashed...twisting her.**

 **She cast aside her old identity and took on the mantle of 'Nightmare Moon'.**

 **She bedded Adolf Hitler and from their hate and wrath was born Chrysalis; First and greatest of the Changelings.**

 **Over the years; more ponies were kidnapped, tortured and raped.**

 **For as love created the dragons so did HATE conceive the Changelings.**

 **The Changelings used their powers to sow discord and treachery between human and pony.**

 **Almost all Dragons and human spouses found themselves lynched by angry mobs from both sides.**

 **By the time the Deception was discovered...it was too late...and the world was cast into a NEW war.**

...1945...

Celestia shed tears over her daughters corpse as she looked skyward to the moon...her sister's visage permanently scarred on it...

 **The war was won...but the cost was great. With a broken heart, Celestia gathered all her ponies...and with broken hearts...returned to Equestria...sealing the portal between worlds...**

 **But as one last gesture of good will she gave the elements of Harmony to her last living human friend...lest the enemy ever return...**

 **And so pony and human were divided...never to be reunited...**

...2012...

 _"That's what you think,"_ Thinks a smirking Twilight as she reads the sentence in the book. She was inside a luxury first-class jet, being protected by men from The 'Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division'. She looks once more at the picture of her best friend Dipper surrounded by his twin sister Mable, his older Brother Tyrone, Tyrone's girlfriend Wendy, and his 'semi-twin' brother/lab experiment Alchor.

Twilight rubs her pregnant belly, whispering to it sweetly. _"Don't worry sweetie...you'll be with your father soon."_ Then a frown comes to her as she looks at the book again.

 _"Elements of harmony...now where have I heard of that before?"_

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	152. Wolves of Gravity Falls: rewrite

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

Superior Tennyson: 1 Hmm, sounds interesting. 2. Sorry this took so long, to answer your question Ford will come near the end of the FIFTH arc.

imperialwar1234: no drugs, just autistic. As for Warhammer...I'm waiting for you to post that 'Shake up the falls' prologue you said was in the works. Then I'd reward you by updating the warhammer stories(and one extra)

The Howling Behemoth: yes it is...

...

The rooster was just beginning to crow when the sun started to shine on the Mystery Shack...all was still asleep...no one was stiring...except for a naked Dipper frantically running out of the woods and into the house before anyone could see him.

When he got to his room, he quickly put his clothes. The feel of the fabric was a great comfort to him...making sure Mable was still asleep...he then read his journal...and paled..."Oh, no." He groaned...

...several days later...

"Whoa! A hidden lab! Maybe the Author did Experiments down here!" Shouted Dipper excitedly. Wendy just frowned, "Huh. What do you think dug all these tunnels?" Asked Wendy as she pointed with concern at the weird holes.

Dipper frowned, Let's hope we don't-

And then he heard it! Scuttling, clawing, gnashing!

Wendy looked at Dipper concerned "Dipper, are you-

But Dipper wasn't listening to her...he was listening to everything else! He could hear SOMETHING smash through walls...he could SMELL blood from it's kills! More importantly he could hear it coming right at them!...at WENDY!

Dipper snarled, he grabbed Wendy with surprising strength and pulled her away- WE NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE FAST!" He shouted! Wendy was startled not only by Dippers tone and strength...but his ears becoming pointed.

"Uh, Dipper?"

But Dipper was already pounding on the door, "MABLE LET US OUT! THERE'S A MONSTER IN HERE! IT'S GOING TO KILL WENDY! I NEED TO SAVE HER! LET US OUT!" He shouts as he continues to pund on the door like a man possesed.

On the other side of the door, Mable just scoffed. "Ha, nice try! The only monsters are your inner demons Dipper!" Exclaimed Mable. "That is so wise." Said Soos

"NO IT ISN'T WISE! IT'S MABLE BEING AN UNGRATEFUL DUMB AS S*** BITCH!" Screamed Dipper as he continued to pound the door until his knuckles began to bloody...and get hairy.

Mable gasped in horror, "DIPPER! How could you say that to your sister!?" She shouted horrified.

"SISTER?! WHAT KIND OF FAMILY LOCKS AWAY ANOTHER FAMILY MEMBER!? IF THE FACT WERE IN A CREEPY BUNKER IN THE MIDDLE OF A MYSTERIOUS FOREST WASN'T ENOUGH OF A TIP OFF THAT THIS WAS NO TIME FOR YOUR SHENANIGANS THEN THE SCREAMING METAL DEATHTRAP THAT NEARLY SQUISHED US SHOULD HAVE BEEN YOU IDIOT!" Shouted Dipper as he continued to snarl with rage, foam trickling down his lisp...and his newly growing fangs...

Mable ignored the tears in her eyes, "Well excuse me for trying to help you!" She snapped back in anger.

"HELP!? I DIDN'T ASK FOR HELP! THIS IS MY PERSONAL BUSSINES! MY LIFE! MY PROBLEMS! NO ONE ASKED YOU TO PUT YOUR FAT BUTT IN THIS!"

Wendy looked on in fright both at the rage dipper was exhibiting...and the tail that had just ripped through his shorts...

"Uh...Mable? Please let us out!" Whimpered a now VERY terrified Wendy.

But Mable was too livid to hear, "FAT! HOW DARE YOU!?" She shrieked while Soos cowered.

"HOW DARE ME!? HOW DARE YOU!? 'FOR MY OWN GOOD' MY DICK! WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS ANYWAY!? YOUR BOYFRIENDS HAVE BEEN PERVERTED GNOMES AND MAN PSYCHOS!" Shouted Dipper, his pounding starting to dent the door...also, he had whiskers now...

"SAYS THE BOY WHO WASTED AN ENTIRE DANCE PARTY WITH A LIST OVER A GIRL!"

"AT LEAST I DON'T PUT A STUPID PIG I'VE KNOWN FOR WHAT- A DAY!? OVER THE HEALTH OF MY FRIENDS! WENDY WAS SERIOUSLY HURT BECAUSE I FELT SORRY FOR YOUR LITTLE TANTRUM!"

"YOU LEAVE WADDLES OUT OF THIS!" Shouted an enraged but sobbing Mable.

"NO! I GIVE YOU EVERYTHING! SACRIFICE EVERYTHING FOR YOU! AND YOU BUT INTO MY LIFE!? TELL ME WHAT TO DO!? ENDANGER THE LIFE OF THE WOMAN I LOVE!?"

Wendy blinked, "Wait, what?!" She shouted.

"CONFESSION!" Shouts Soos frantically, desperate to stop his friends from fighting. "THAT'S A CONFESSION! I'LL JUST LET YOU OUT NOW!" Before Mable can stop him, he dose just that...and out jumps Dipper...the Wolf...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: this story was inspired by the Deviant artist khialat**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	153. Seeds of Eden

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

RasenganFin: I agree

imperialwar1234: 1. No promises. 2. Awesome.

Superior Tennyson: hmmmm...good ideas..but I'd need more details before I could act on them.

...

 **BOOM!**

When the dust settled...all was silent once more in the wasteland...then a draconequus tore himself out of the giant crater...he then looked toward where he'd been thrown and shook his fist.

"FINE! I DIDN'T WANT TO STAY IN YOUR DUMB PARADISE ANYWAY! AND YOU CAN GO TO HELL CELESTIA! YOU TRAITOR!" The draconequus brushes a tear out of his eye as he said that last part as he got to work...

"I'll show them...I'll make a better species then they could ever make!" He pauses to pull a fruit from the tree of knowledge out of a hidden compartment in his throat. "Boy am i glad I hide this on me...now let's begin!"

He painstakingly pulled a three seeds out of the fruit..and planted the rest of the fruit in the ground...not noticing a fourth seed had stuck to his claw.

"Right...you'll make a good tree of knowledge of my own...and as for you three..." He begins to draw magic ruins into the ground...not noticing when the extra seed falls off his claw and into a filthy mud puddle.

Once the ruins are finished, he searches for places to plant his seeds, while doing so he pricks his fingers and allows a drop of blood onto each seed.

"Let's see...what do I do with you? It should be grand...hello, what's this?" There was something shiny sticking out of the ground, the draconequus picks it up...it may not looked like much...but the knowledge that the draconequus had stolen from the tree told him that once properly refined...this 'iron' would be quite the game changer.

The creature nodded, "Yes...this iron...and the...'Ssss-cience? That will make it MORE...this will be useful." He uses magic to merge the seed and the iron and plants it into the ground...

"Yes...those who shall spring from you...I shall name the 'Gromans'!

"Hmmmm...let's not forget good old magic!" He uses his knowledge to pluck RAW magic from the fabric of the world...such magic would kill him if he took it into himself...but if put into a empty template...like the seed.

The creature finished this thought by doing just that...and then planting it.

"And you...I will name...the Magi!"

He then picks up the final seed. "Hmmmmm...what to do to you?" He picks his teeth absentmindedly...then suddenly finds the remians of his last dinner...an acorn.

The creature looked at the two...then shrugged. "Nature is important...I guess, there are worse things then having a race that had mastery over it." So he merges the two and then plants it inside the ruin circle, the same as the others.

He then calls upon his magic to bring the spell to life...soon the a mighty tree grows in the middle...and then soon...the three seeds started to grow and take shape...soon they would become mighty empires in their own.

And then Discord FINALLY noticed the fourth seed(also inside the ruin circle)...having not merged or been prepared for or expected...it sorta flopped around in the mud like a reject.

"Yuk! Well, you won't be very useful to me...I can't even tell if you'll have a specialty! Forget being an empire, you'll be lucky to become a rinky-dink town...on the other hand...having a wild card COULD come in handy." Still, he wasn't very enthusiastic about this...so he reluctantly drops a bit of blood on the misshapen whatever and haphazardly names the small thing 'Gravity Falls'...then walks away abandoning it without a second thought...

Discord looks at the tree...he thinks on it. "Now that I think of it...I suffered greatly to get the knowledge I have...why should i make it easy for everyone else?" He snaps his claw, causing a mountain to spring up, causing the tree to ascend FAR above anyone's reach.

Discord nods at it satisfied, "If anyone wants that knowledge...they'll have to earn it."

...A Thousand years later...

A grubby boy wearing only a loincloth dragged his flying contraption out of his squalored mud-hut in Gravity falls...Dipper Pines looks up at the mountain that held the legendary fruit of wisdom at it's peak.

"Today's the day." He says to himself determined...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	154. Stranded

Tales of the Falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **AN : HAPPY BIRTHDAY!...to me...tomorrow.**

...responses...

Superior Tennyson: Hmmm...good ideas...I might use that resurrection idea in my 'Atauski Falls' story(I can never spell that word right).

RasenganFin: ...remind me what that is again?

Gamelover41592: thank you

...

Dipper groaned...his head felt like it had been hit by a truck...he looked around...he was...on a beach? He looked around frantically...by the looks of things...he'd clung to swim flotsam and was washed ashore...but how'd he get here? And where were-

"THE GIRLS!" He shouted horrified as it all came back to him...

...two days ago...

"Your father is making you do janitorial work on a cruise ship!?" Shouted Dipper annoyed. Pacifica sighed, "Yeah, he did NOT like me letting all those 'commoners' into the party... Then she smirked, "Thankfully, I bribed the messenger to 'adjust' the message a bit so after I do work...i can relax..." Suddenly she felt a small blush coming along, "Also...I can invite someone along..."

Dipper blushed, "Oh...gee Pacifca I-

Suddenly, Pacifica was enveloped in a large sweater...attached to a Mable. "THE S.S. EXCLUSION!? WE'D LOVE TO GO!" Shouted Mable, so excited she obliviously misread the situation completely...

Dipper...honestly didn't know whether to feel relieved...or disappointed? Where did that feeling come from?

Pacifica rolled her eye's, "Sure why not!? Hey, why not bring other people along TOO!?" She snapped irritably.

"REALLY!? AWESOME! Wendy's been in the dumps since Tambry broke up with Robbie! They'll both love this!" Shouted an eager Mable.

"Wait, what!? NO , I was being- Began Pacifica..but Mable had already left...leaving Pacifica to sulk over her ruined plan.

Dipper just looked on conflicted...his old crush...and his new...SOMETHING...in the same place?

 _"This is either going to go very well or very bad for me...oh, who am I kidding? It was going to go bad regardless."_ Admited Dipper to himself with a sigh...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	155. The Seventh Element

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

mperialwar1234: Ah, but the story is still young my friend...

Gamelover41592: Thank you

...

 **AN: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!...to me.**

...

"Oh, my beloved subjects. It's been so long since I've seen your precious little sun-loving faces!" Laughed Nightmare Moon.

"Oh no... Nightmare Moon!" Shouted Twilight, While other ponies yelled her mind raced. She'd been right all along! This was bad...Celestia was gone! She had to sneak back to the library quickly and learn more about the 'elements of harmony'. FAST! Before-

"Does my crown no longer count now that I have been imprisoned for a thousand years? Did you not recall the legend? Did you not see the signs?" Shouted the living Nightmare made flesh.

"I did. And I know who you are. You're the Mare in the Moon – Nightmare Moon!" Twilight's mouth...gaped open in disbelief as everyone else gasped...the words that she'd been about to say...had been said by a little blue colt?!

"Dipper?! What are you doing!? Get away from there!" Shouted two concerned ponies on opposite sides of the party(one a LARGE red Earth Mare and the other a rainbow unicorn filly with an even MORE colorful sweater...oddly, neither had a cutie mark).

Nightmare Moon laughed, "Well well well, somepony who remembers me. Then you also know why I'm here-

"I do, but it dosen't matter because I'm going to stop you!" Shouts the little colt! The stunned silence was marred only by the aforementioned two girl ponies slapping their faces with their hooves, "Oh, boy. Here we go." They both groaned.

Nightmare Moon was the first to recover...and LAUGH! "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, mercy! I needed that." She sneered at the little colt that defiantly glared at her.

"And how are YOU going to stop me? Your little wings are itty-bitty nubs. Why, you don't even have a cutie mark!" She mocked.

The colt apparently named Dipper just flushed and briefly covered his blank flank and embarrassing underdeveloped/useless wings...but he quickly shook this off. "No, but I DO have a portable super-charged perpetual motion twittermite generator and THIS!"

He shouts triumphantly as he held out an odd gem on a scepter connected to said generator with a cable.

Nightmares smug grin fell off as her eyes went wide, "NO! It's not possi-

 **ZAP!**

The alicorn screamed as she was bathed in light from the gem...for a moment...it looked like the boy might win...but then-

"DUDE! IT'S OVERHEATING!" Shouted a portly adult Gryphon with a question mark T-shirt as he tired to fix the generator as it began to smoke and hiss. "What?! NO! NOT NOW! Quick Soos! Stabal-

Sadly this lapse in concentration was all the opening the fallen princess needed to shoot two blasts of magic-

 **BOOM!**

-Which she used to destroy both scepter and generator.

The shockwave knocked both colt and Gryphon to the floor. Dipper groaned as he tried to reach toward the still intact gem...only for it to snatched up by the now recovered nightmare.

"What trickery is this?! This is NOT one of the elements of harmony!" "WHAT!?" Shouted a disbelieving Twilight. "Yet, it works just like them! And despite only having ONE that generator was nearly enough compensation to banish me once more! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!" Exclaimed Nightmare Moon.

The Gryphon snorted, "Shows what you know dudette! Dipper was not only smart enough to create his own element of harmony, when he saw there wasn't time to make more or find other people who could claim them. He strapped up and built that generator with only 50%-75% assistance from me! Kids a genius! Don't know why he gets so little respect!" He states with a solem nod.

Dipper groaned as Nightmare smirked, "Soos...buddy...do you realize you just told the villain that I know how to make her one weakness?"

Soos slapped his head "Stupid!" And then chuckled nervously, "Uh...forget what I just said?"

"Denied!" Snapped the living Nightmare as she swooped down and grabbed Dipper.

"DIPPER! NO!" Shouts the two girl ponies that Twilight heard the colts name from as they ran to save him-

But they were too late...she was gone... The two ponies that stare at where she'd been for a moment...then they angrily glared at teach other.

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" They both accused as they wrestled each other enraged.

Twilight, having watched the whole thing...summed up all her and everypony's thoughts up nicely: "What the BUCK just happened here!?" She demanded confused...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	156. Walls

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

Gamelover41592: thank you

Wicked.A: It would've been more pragmatic...but a waste nonetheless

RasenganFin: (shrug) I don't know I'm sorta making this story up as I go along...so we'll have to wait and see...

The Howling Behemoth: you. 2. thank you. 3. thank you.

...

 **AN: dose anyone have any recommendations for songs for gravity falls / christian song-fics? (or at least christian like?)**

...

"FINALLY! THE LEGENDARY LABYRINTH!" Shouts Dipper, "Yeesh! Bro-Bro we can hear you! Were not deaf!" Shouts his sister annoyed. "Wait...what's that noise?" Asks Wendy.

The group listens...

 **WAKA WAKA WAKA WAKA WAKA-**

Soos goes very pale..."I know that noise." He whimpers-

 **BOOM!**

...

 **Cause there's something going down***  
 **Whoo!**  
 **Cause there's something going down**  
 **(Yeah yeah yeah yeah...)**  
 **We are one but we aren't the same**  
 **For a thousand years we've played this game**  
 **And the tension rises up**  
 **Ya the passions givin' up**

A giant Packman burst through the nearby wall!

"RUN!"

And the chase was on...

 **So our God reaches to unite**  
 **While amongst ourselves we fight**  
 **And I'm sick of wasting time**  
 **Ya I got something on my mind**

 **So lift your hands move your feet**  
 **Get your get your self ready**  
 **Lift your flags**  
 **Hit the streets**  
 **And charge**

"Come on, come on. There's gotta be SOMETHING in here to help us!" Shouts Dipper as he reads through his journal while running...

 **No you can never stop it from coming**  
 **Those against me can take off running**  
 **Cause there's something going down**  
 **Yeah these walls are coming down**  
 **Cause the truth that has been said**  
 **Will unite us once again**  
 **Cause there's something going down**  
 **Ya these walls are coming down**

Packman smashes through yet another wall and nearly bites off Mable's hand!

"Hey! You Can't break through walls! That's cheating!" Shouts Soos.

The Packman says nothing, he's too busy taking a bite out of Soo's gut!

 **Can we practice what we preach**  
 **And turn these fists into hands that reach**  
 **Embrace ourselves with open arms**  
 **Turn this hate into loving heart**

 **What comes up must come down**  
 **So I'll march towards this town**  
 **And undo what has been done**  
 **Tear down these bricks and stones one by one**

YOWCH!

Shouts Dipper as the Packman inexplicably burst out of the wall, biting off the seat of his pants...inexplicably mooning everyone...

"I Soooo didn't need to see that", vomited Mable while Wendy giggled.

 **So lift your hands move your feet**  
 **Get your get your self ready**  
 **Lift your flags**  
 **Hit the streets**  
 **And charge**

 **No you can never stop it from coming**  
 **Those against me can take off running**  
 **Cause there's something going down**  
 **Yeah these walls are coming down**  
 **Cause the truth that has been said**  
 **Will unite us once again**  
 **Cause there's something going down**  
 **Ya these walls are coming down**

"OW! MY HAIR!"

Shouts Mable and Wendy as it once more broke through the walls and ripped out their hair...leaving them both bald

 **No you can never stop it from coming**  
 **Those against me can take off running**  
 **Cause there's something going down**  
 **Yeah these walls are coming down**  
 **Cause the truth that has been said**  
 **Will unite us once again**  
 **Cause there's something going down**  
 **Ya these walls are coming down**

"GOT IT!" Shouts Dipper as he finishes the destruction spell

RUN!

He shouts as all the walls collapse on Packman...causing the whole place to collapse...

 **Can you feel it?  
Can you make some noise?**

 **No you can never stop it from coming**  
 **You can never stop...**

The group pants as they barely made it out alive...

"TAHT'S IT! NEXT WEEK I'M DECIDING THE ACTIVITY!" Shouts Mable.

Everyone groans in agreement...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: this song is 'Walls' by 'Manic Drive'**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	157. Resident Falls 2: ImperialStar

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

Superior Tennyson: 1. Interesting...but I'll need more details before I can do it. 2. Who's John Constantine?

ImperialStar: As long as their translated into English and they fit, I can use it.

HyperA1985: Yeah...that's Slenderman...who HATES Mable...so trust me, you don't.

Gamelover41592: thank you

The Howling Behemoth: thank you

...

 **AN: This is a reward to 'ImperialStar', for doing my challenge, give his stuff a read! It might be in Spanish, but I put down an English translation in my review!**

...

 ** _'Science for a comfortable life'_**

 **That's the motto that has guided the Umbrella corporation for 50 years; the same number one corporation on earth that brought you the internet, hover technology, and the cure for all diseases is at it again!**

 **Their creation of the performance-enhancing drug Nectar is allowing your countries proud men and woman in uniform better fight the dreaded Promise Hand Terrorist group operating in the Boa region in South America!**

 **5-time presidential elect Derek C. Simmons has placed his full support on this. He also assures the public that Nectar is keeping civilian and U.S Soldier casualties down and it's only a matter of time before Terrorist Leader** **Gabriel "Skincoat" Merino is brought to justice for his crimes against humanity!  
**

 **More of his speech at 11!**

 **In other news-**

Mable Pines turned off the her Umbrella phone, interrupting the umbrella stream, on the Umbrella news network, while ridding a Umbrella hover bus to Gravity Falls...AKA Umbrella Company Town 417.

 _"Umbrella, Umbrella, Umbrella! Seems like you can't go 5 feet without seeing their logo these days!"_ Thinks Mable to herself with a sigh...she was NOT looking forward to this Summer...her first summer away from home and parents and rather than spending it making new friends or a love connection...INSTEAD she'd be spending it at Umbrella's Junior Executive training camp! Making POLITICAL connections with the social elite, learning how to OPTIMIZE their skill set, and INNOVATE a better tomorrow- GAH! SHE COULD FEEL HER SOUL DYING! SHE WAS FLIPPING 12 FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!

She looks toward her twin brother Dipper Pines, who contrary to her was excited! Finally, people would HAVE to start treating him like an adult- kids who passed in the top 10 at the end of Summer were- among other nifty perks -recognized as legal adults in the eyes of the law!

And best of all...he'd FINALLY be able to work side by side with his idol/Great uncle Albert! The head of Umbrella R & D!

Dipper smiled as they entered the city limits...the skies the limits...and it was only going to get better! This was going to be the best Summer yet!

...

Albert Pines smiles as the naked red headed teen continued to have liquid nitrogen poured into her body...yet not freeze? He crosses off the symbol of ice cubes from his chart. "3 down, 7 to go..."

...

Meanwhile, Deep within the bowels of Racoon City( AKA Umbrella Company Town 100)...William Birkin snarls at the Umbrella security force that breaks into his lab-

"IF I CAN'T HAVE THE GLORY OF MY GENIUS, NO ONE SHALL!" He began typing into a computer, the guards shoot him...but it's too late...the G-Virus was released...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	158. Fall of Grim Tales 3: ImperialStar

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

ImperialStar: (Discussed on PM)

Gamelover41592: Yep

Superior Tennyson: Interesting...I'll add it to the list.

...

 **AN: this chapter is a gift to ImperialStar for doing my 'Shake up the falls' story challenge, give it a read, my English translation is in his reviews.**

 **AN:** **nightmaster000 or Wolvenstrom contributed dialogue**

...

-Another stipulation of the marriage contract is that none of the families involved in this will be allowed to hurt or kill the Pines family- directly or indirectly -, severe penalties will be enacted should they be caught doing so. It shall also be noted that once Young Dipper Pines chooses a 'Head' wife, the family of that chosen girl will be considered the true rulers of the underworld, her heirs will be likewise, and all other families will be subservient to them. I should also state-

The demon lawyer continued to drone on and on...while the various girls gathered here...were barely able to keep awake...many thoughts went through their heads...few of it good...

 _"Unbelievable...I'm going to be forced to marry some icky boy! Their always disgusting, especially when naked! (shudder) It'll be nice to have more time to play With Mimi...but this is intolerable! Why is daddy punishing me!?"_

Thinks Chi, the daughter of Aku.

 _"I can't believe this is happening...I SHOULD BE WITH JUNIOR! ...The beating mom gave Daddy was too merciful...whoever this 'Dipper' is, I'll make him 'suffer' for this..._

Thinks Minnie, daughter of Grim and Mandy.

 _"Can'tDissapointHusbandDadWillKillMe._ _Can'tDissapointHusbandDadWillKillMe._ _Can'tDissapointHusbandDadWillKillMe._ _Can'tDissapointHusbandDadWillKillMe._ _Can'tDissapointHusbandDadWillKillMe_ _ _Can'tDissapointHusbandDadWillKillMe.__ _ _ _Can'tDissapointHusbandDadWillKillMe.___ _ _ _ _Can'tDissapointHusbandDadWillKillMe.____ _ _ _ _ _Can'tDissapointHusbandDadWillKillMe._____ _ _ _ _ _ _Can'tDissapointHusbandDadWillKillMe.______ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Can'tDissapointHusbandDadWillKillMe._______ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Can'tDissapointHusbandDadWillKillMe.________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Can'tDissapointHusbandDadWillKillMe._________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Can'tDissapointHusbandDadWillKillMe.__________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Can'tDissapointHusbandDadWillKillMe.___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Can'tDissapointHusbandDadWillKillMe."___________._

Repeated Mimi -Daughter of Him- to herself as she rocked back and forth in fear.

 _"...this can't be happening...not only do I have this freaky third eye in the middle of my head now AND the devil spawn of a freaky triangle thing...but NOW I'm going to have to fight a bunch of devil whores for the attention of a boy I've never met!? What hellish nightmare did I fall into and HOW can I get out?"_

Thought a frantic Pacifica, Daughter of Northwest and Bill.

FINALLY, the door opened and in came...a very limp and unimpressive looking boy came in. "Ah, yes. Hello servant, get me some sweets and tell your master that we tire of waiting to see him our so-called-betrothed! I have some words for him!" Demanded Chi.

...their was an awkward pause, Lord Pain coughed nervously. "Uh...my lady? This IS your betrothed."

The girls just looked at the boy in disbelief(well more cool anger in Minnie's case, and curiosity in Mimi's case). "HIM!?" Shouted both Chi and Pacifica.

"As bad as the situation was- I at least thought that it would be someone of my station, not some low-life commoner!" Snapped Pacifica. Before an indignant Dipper could respond-

"Nevermind commoner, He's a human! A weak, pathetic, useless-

"Hey, shut up!" Shouts an angry Wendy as she storms into the room. "Oh, mind your own business Abadeer!" She snapped while squeezing her screaming Demongo stress ball.

"Uh, my names Corduroy." Corrected Wendy confused.

Chi snorts, "No it's not, I strongly advise you to talk with your 'father'."

Before Wendy could say anything, Chi was already heading in Dipper direction. "As for you; if you think I'm going to willingly bed some filthy HUMAN boy- she grabs his crotch to castrate it - you have another-

She pauses as she feels what she's grasping, suddenly she backs off. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were a girl...perhaps we can come to an arrangement then?" She asked suddenly in a far more reasonable tone.

For a moment...everyone was too stunned to say anything...then Mimi- for the first time in YEARS, laughed...and everyone else(except Wendy, who was trying very hard to hold down said laugh) burst out laughing.

Dipper had never been more embarrassed, "I- I- I AM A BOY! YOU CAN'T JUST- WILL YOU STOP DOING THAT!" He shouts mortified as she grabs his crotch again

Chi just frowns, as she once more feels him up...the just looks at him weird. "Oookay, if you say so." She said clearly skeptical.

Pacifca, still laughing was able to manage to shout: "So much for at least having the wedding night to look forward to!" She shouts.

Dipper...was not taking this well.

Stan pats him on the back, "I'm not going to sugarcoat it kid...the only way to recover from this...get GOOD at sex fast! Don't worry I'll teach you!"

Dipper said nothing...he just paused to vomit and rolled up into a troubled fetal position on the floor while the whole room continued to laugh at him...

...

The laughter however...didn't last. "WE HAVE TO DO WHAT!?" Shouted both Chi and Pacifica. The demon lawyer adjusted his spectacles, "Until Dipper chooses which of you will be his 'head' wife...you are to live with him, work for his uncle, and your access to your funds and powers are henceforth restricted until further notice..."

Now it was Chi and Pacifica's turns to go into the troubled fetal position...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	159. X-Falls 2: ImperialStar

**Tales of the Falls**

 **I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!**

...responses...

Gamelover41592: Glad you like it

...

 **AN: This story is a reward to ImperialStar for doing my 'Shake up the falls' story challenge.**

...

Over the years the 'mystery shack gang'(or the 'horsemen of the apocalypse' as the people of Gravity Falls have morbidly refered to calling them) had picked up two more members in recent years...

Soos had inexplicably turned pink and became composed of a gum-like substance and a weird antena sticking out of his head, not only did he have amazing healing and strength...he could turn things into candy!

"SOOS, STOP EATING THE EXHIBITS!"

"Sorry Mr. Pines."

And then Wendy's friend- the only friend who hadn't abandoned her after killing Robbie -Tambry suddenly got purple fur covering her body, cat ears, cat whiskers, and a cat tail, super strenght...and somehow became even MORE lazy.

"Mrs. please get off the road! Several cars have already been completely pulverized just by hitting you!"

Tambry just snored...

...

They'd also been forced to branch out into...extracurricular activities...

...a couple years back...

Stan sighed, "Look guys...I'm not going to sugarcoat it...between you scaring away my customers and repeatedly destroying my Shack...I'm going broke here! That 'nest egg' I 'borrowed' in Columbia- something that should've lasted me FIVE lifetimes -is almost completely used up!"

Dipper sighs, "I'm sorry Grunkle Stan...but we just don't know how to control our powers!" "And I've tired to get access to my family's funds...but due to the 'odd' circumstances surrounding my parents death...the lawyers are making me jump through some serious hoops!" Exclaimed Pacifica.

Stan sighed, "I know...that's why I've reached out to an old...'acquaintance' to help train you to get better control of your powers...

...a couple days ago...

"Why on EARTH would I leave my island to help a the man who left me to die in Columbia all those years ago!?" Demanded an annoyed Master Roshi.

Stan just smirks, "These are TWO of your new students" Shows him pictures of Wendy and Tambry...

Roshi was ready to leave within the hour...

...

The next couple years were filled with wearing large turtle shells to climb mountains, deliver milk cartons, tilling fields bare-handed, doging bees, swiming away from sharks..and so much more...

Not only did they grow stronger...but they learned to control their strength as well...

Seeing that they had an aptitude for magic, Roshi introduced them to his sister Babba, who was willing to teach them...provided they work as security guards/champions in her tournaments.

Pacifica found that she had frost magic; baba locked her in a meatlocker for weeks...

Dipper had the kame magic like Roshi, so Roshi trained him in that.

Soos had Candy magic...he was having some serious ethical dilemmas of breathing life into delicious Candy...that he wanted to eat...

Wendy had some odd magic...it was related to life magic...but Baba didn't really know what it was yet. It was only when Roshi accidentally nearly killed her with his super Kamehameha wave- but miraculously survived...and grew stronger! -that they realized that she had a new type of magic involved with 'evolution.'

Tambry had sleep magic...Baba had to throw her into a volcano to get her to wake up...

The plan was to get good enough to participate in the annual 21st World Martial Arts Tournament and win the prize money...

...or that was the plan until Pacifica started bringing in money...she claimed it was her inheritance finally leaking through...but Dipper and Roshi have doubts...

...

Pacifica looked at the destroyed remains of what had been a tyrants fortress...Pacifica smiled knowing that she'd helped vanquish a great evil...then she went to meet her contact...

"You did well my pupil, take this money...and this new technique scroll as a reward."

Pacifica bowed, took it and left. Shen, the Crane master smiled as the illusion of the 'fortress' fell...revealing the destroyed remains of Capsule corp. He turns to his men, "The brat is now defenseless, grab her and take her to my lair. The Capsule fortune will soon be mine!" He laughed as his men soon grabbed a crying blue-haired girl away from her family's corpses...

...

The day Mable showed up they sent her to baba to help her with her 'monkey' problem...and the tournament was only a week away...sadly, Stan could only get enough reservations to get three of them into the tournament...so they had to decide who was going to go...

Which became a LOT easier when Dipper found a certain journal...and something else.

"Hello...what have we here?" Asked Dipper outloud as wedged in the same place that he found the journal...he also found a strange orange orb...with six stars in it...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	160. Fall of Grim Tales 4: ImperialStar

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **AN: this chapter is a gift to 'ImperialStar' for doing my 'Shake up the falls' story challenge, give it a read, my English translation is in his reviews.**

 **AN: '** **nightmaster000' or 'Wolvenstrom' contributed to the dialogue  
**

...

Slenderman turned to Aku. **"Y'know I can understand Bill, Him and Mandy not caring about me working their daughters like slaves...but why haven't YOU put up a fuss about it?"**

Aku sighs, "To be honest...I'm well aware that I've been spoiling her rotten. My realm will be in dire straights if she takes over as she is...but despite knowing this, I haven't the will to discipline her myself...So this actually works out well.

They clink glasses of human intestines together.

 **"To causing chaos and misery on simple whims."**

"Hear, hear."

...

"You can't do this to us!" Shouts Chi and Pacifica as their thrown out on the lawn. Stan chuckles, "As a matter of fact I can...according to the marriage contract...no work for me, no food or roof over your heads. It's that simple."

"Actually, according to this there's an alternate way of payment they can make." Admitted the lawyer.

"FINE! WE'LL DO THAT!" They both shout. The Lawyer shrugs as he snaps his fingers, suddenly their clothes turn to money and float into a suddenly VERY uncomfortable Stan's hand.

Both girls scream as they cover themselves, "Right this should cover a weeks worth of food and lodging, the contract forbids you giving them clothes they have to BUY them." Said the lawyer before Stan could argue, he vanished.

 _"I feel like I've stepped into a BAD Japanese Anime."_ Thinks Stan to himself as he let's the two mortified girls run inside.

...

"So it's true...I'm Abadeer's daughter?" Asked Wendy. Manly Dan sighed, "You are my daughter...but also his. When you were born...and after your mom...passed on...he approached me...told me he could give my daughter a great future and get revenge on those stupid northwest jerks for ALL the wrongs they'd done our family- Course he didn't say anything about MARRIAGE...which kinda irritates me."

Wendy just frowned, "Wait...I'm BOTH your daughter and HIS? How dose that work?"

Dan shrugged, "I don't understand the technical stuff of all that mumbo jumbo...but apparently, he lost his only daughter to some monster named the lich...so he used her ashes to bind her essence with yours...the spell was set to activate ONLY when the marriage contract went into affect."

"Wait, I thought the 'bet' only happened yesterday. How-

"Look, apparently time-travel was involved, again I don't understand all the details..." Dan sighed, "Look no revenge is worth your dignity...I'll find Abadeer and tell him the deal is off-

"No dad, that's a nice thought...but I got a feeling that that's not going to fly with a lord of the underworld. ...Dipper's smart about this sot of stuff, maybe he can find a loophole or something...in the meantime...I'd better play along for now.."

Not knowing what else to say...they hugged.

...

"So...any chance I could get a harem of cute boys?" Asked Mable. Lord pain shook his head, "Sorry my dear, but between all the underworld lords..they have but ONE boy."

"OH! Is he cute?" Asked Mable with her usual one-track determination. Lord Pain chuckled, "See for yourself." He showed her a picture...and she went a bit green. "Uh...do you have one where his skin is on?" Pain just shakes his head with a smile.

...

Dipper, trying to regain his bearings- and following Mable's advice -approached Minnie to get to know her better. "Hey there...Minnie, was it? I was just wondering-

Suddenly, with astounding speed. Minnie was across the room and grabbing Dipper by the crotch, Dipper went scarlet, "SERIOUSLY!? AGAIN!?"

Instead, to his shock, Minnie, then forced his right hand...to touch her VERY flat chest.

"I know how you feel", Said Minnie Sympathetically. Now that Dipper thought of it...he couldn't recall Minnie laughing when his 'shortcoming' was revealed...so she was being sincere!

Not knowing what else to say...they both embraced each other and cried...happy they found someone who knew their pain...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	161. A pig or a friend? : RasenganFin

**Tales of the Falls**

 **I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!**

...

Dipper was worried...he knew he SHOULDN'T be. After all he'd just FINALLY defied fate and saved his love interest from being injured...and yet...it seemed like every time in his life something GOOD was about to happen...something would ALWAYS make it go wro-

 **GAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**

 _"Annnd there we go."_ Thinks Dipper with a sigh as his Sister Mable came screaming toward him, "DIPPER! PACIFICA GOT WADDLES! WE NEED TO CHANGE THINGS BACK!" She shouted as she frantically grabbed at the time tape.

Dipper tries to hold her back, "MABLE NO! I've crunched the numbers! In any other timeline, Wendy gets injured! I'm sorry about Waddles, but is a PIG really worth more then your friends health?"

"YES!" Screamed Mable as she grabs the time tape and activates it-

 **ZAP!**

Suddenly Dipper is back at mid throw of the ball, the surprise makes him throw it off course-

 **CRACK!**

 **OW!**

Hitting Wendy in the eye, in Dipper peripheral vision Dipper sees Mable running away with the time Tape...he knows then that Mable will probably hide it where he can't find it, smash it or just give it back to Blendin...

In any case...it was over...it was all over...

And dipper...Dipper couldn't help but break down and cry- "I"M SORRY WENDY! I'M SO SORRY! IF I WASN'T SO WEAK OR STUPID I COULD'A PREVENTED THIS!" He throws himself in to hug her.

Wendy...eye still in pain...looks down at Dipper confused. "Dipper...what are you talking about? This...this was clearly an accident...No way you could've-

But Dipper just confessed to everything...why not? He fleet like such a failure...losing Wendy's friendship was the least he deserved...

Wendy was flabbergasted by what Dipper was admitting to...at first it seemed downright impossible- but then she remembered the 'Lamby incident' and decided to give him the benefit of a doubt...what little doubt vanished when Dipper blubered off several events- before they happened like clockwork- like Soos getting attacked by a squirrel, Mcgucket vomiting purple glitter, Grunkle Stan shooting his dentures at Gideon, Soos attacked by a squirrel again, etc.

Wendy, eventually calmed him down, hugged him and forgave him...he clearly did the best the could after all, not his fault the universe was lame and sucked(make her face a cosmic plaything will it? well frack you universe!)...during which Robbie tried to walk over...then immediately walked away from one angry glare sent by Wendy...NOW was not the time...

...

Mable whistled as she walked down with waddles in tow, happy that she had her soulmate back and-

"WHAT THE HELL MABLE!?" Mable's eye's widened as she took in the sight of her angry brother and friend. "wha- "how could you throw Wendy under the bus like that!? And for a pig of all things!?"

"Yeah, I thought we were friends Mable! A pet is a pet but friends are supposed to be forever!"

Mable was flabbergasted, she'd just rescued a cute pig! How was she NOT the good guy here? "Come on guys, don't be like that! I LOVE Waddles!"

Wendy just stares at Waddles...who's wanderd away from Mable and is just mindlessly eating garbage. "Yeah...I get the feeling that love him more then he loves you..."

-Which I'm starting to think applies to me as well." States Dipper flatly as he glares at Mable angrily.

Mable looked at him hurt, "Dipper I-

"Come on Dipper, since Mable LOVES that pig so much...we shouldn't bother them." Said Wendy in dismissive anger.

And like that..they walked away from Mable...Mable fell to her knees and sobbed...while an obvious Waddles continued to eat garbage in the background...

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	162. Monster

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

Wicked.A: I might just do that in a future chapter, thank you, Yeah, I've had that trouble before...and again, yeah I might just do that.

Superior Tennyson: awesome, I'll add that to my folder. How's your story coming along by the way?

RasenganFin: okay, DEFINITELY using that in the future

...

 **AN: dose anyone have any recommendations for songs for gravity falls / christian song-fics? (or at least christian like?)**

...

"WHAT!? HOW ARE YOU STILL IN THIS BODY!? I CAST YOU OUT!" Shouted Bill from Dipper's body...only for Dipper to take control again. "Don't know, don't care. I'M TAKING MY BODY BACK!" And so the fight for Dipper's body begins...

 **The secret side of me**  
 **I never let you see**  
 **I keep it caged**  
 **But I can't control it**  
 **So stay away from me**  
 **The beast is ugly**  
 **I feel the rage**  
 **And I just can't hold it**

"MABLE! RUN!" Shouts dipper as Bill forces him to whip out a gun-

 **It's scratching on the walls**  
 **In the closet, in the halls**  
 **It comes awake**  
 **And I can't control it**  
 **Hiding under the bed**  
 **In my body, in my head**  
 **Why won't somebody come and save me from this?**  
 **Make it end!**

"OH, NO PINETREE! YOUR NOT GETTING OUT OF THIS SO EASY!" Shouted Bill as he stops Dipper from slitting his throat.

 **I feel it deep within,**  
 **It's just beneath the skin**  
 **I must confess that I feel like a monster**  
 **I hate what I've become**  
 **The nightmare's just begun**  
 **I must confess that I feel like a monster**  
 **I, I feel like a monster**  
 **I, I feel like a monster**

"WENDY, NO!" Shouts Dipper as Wendy only barely dodges an Axe that Dipper was only BARELY able to swerve.

 **My secret side I keep**  
 **Hid under lock and key**  
 **I keep it caged**  
 **But I can't control it**  
 **'Cause if I let him out**  
 **He'll tear me up**  
 **And break me down**  
 **Why won't somebody come and save me from this?**  
 **Make it end!**

"DIPPER, NO!" Shouts everyone as Dipper jumps off the water tower to finally end Bills threat.

 **I feel it deep within,**  
 **It's just beneath the skin**  
 **I must confess that I feel like a monster**  
 **I hate what I've become**  
 **The nightmare's just begun**  
 **I must confess that I feel like a monster**

 **I feel it deep within,**  
 **It's just beneath the skin**  
 **I must confess that I feel like a monster**  
 **I, I feel like a monster**  
 **I, I feel like a monster**

 **It's hiding in the dark**  
 **Its teeth are razor sharp**  
 **There's no escape for me**  
 **It wants my soul,**  
 **It wants my heart**

"YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT PINETREE!" Shouts Bill as he attacks Dipper's now nearly comatose mind.

 **No one can hear me scream**  
 **Maybe it's just a dream**  
 **Or maybe it's inside of me**  
 **Stop this monster!**

Dipper was losing ground fast...it maybe his mindscape...but he was too weak from sleep deprivation and nearly killing himself to use it effectively-

Suddenly Bill screams

 **I feel it deep within,**  
 **It's just beneath the skin**  
 **I must confess that I feel like a monster**  
 **I hate what I've become**  
 **The nightmare's just begun**  
 **I must confess that I feel like a monster**

 **I feel it deep within,**  
 **It's just beneath the skin**  
 **I must confess that I feel like a monster**  
 **I'm gonna lose control**  
 **Here's something radical**  
 **I must confess that I feel like a monster**

The last thing Dipper sees is Bill being chucked from his mindscape...

 **I, I feel like a monster**

 **I, I feel like a monster**

Then he wakes up...

 **I, I feel like a monster**

 **I, I feel like a monster**

On a hospital bed surrounded by friends and family holding his journal and other occultic objects...

He barely has time to say anything before their all hugging him and crying...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: This song is 'Monster' by Skillet**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	163. Adventure time with dipper and mable

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

Gamelover41592: Thanks

Wicked.A: it's okay. Hmmm...promising idea...mind if I make some minor tweaks to it?

...

 **SLASH!**

 **ROAR!**

The swamp ogre let out a death rattle as it perished. "Another one bites the dust!" Exclaims Dipper the human. "High five!" Shouts his adopted sister Mabel the cat. After doing just that, they head into the ogres cave.

Dipper nodded as he compares a familiar six-fingered symbol inside with the one on his fathers journal. "Yep, this is one of his hideouts alright." Stated Dipper simply. Their dad Stanford had once been the greatest adventurer the world had ever known. He saved Cotton Candy princess from the Fire Count, slayed the Evil Ocean, Brought the Lich King down, Also...He fight a Bear!

And then...He vanished. A couple years ago he went on one of his adventures...And was never heard from again. Dipper and Mabel quickly opened it up. Aside from supplies and some equipment...There was nothing. Only staying long enough to resupply and reconnect the places warp to their dads warp network, they then went on their way. Using the journal to find more adventures...And more clues about their father...

…...

Little did they know...they were being watched. " _Finally some interesting prey."_ Thought the red-headed vampire to herself...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	164. A little bit of angst

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

It was almost weird how things worked out. Thought Dipper to himself as he watched his little sister Mabel weep over her beloved pet pigs Waddles. He never really liked Waddles...in fact even at his death he was apathetic to the whole thing. Maybe because his death was peaceful? He just got too old...and his body gave out?

Well, in any case that wasn't important. What was important here was Mabel. Even though he never liked the pig, he knew Mabel loved it with all her heart...and while he wasn't sad for the pig...he was sad for Mabel because he knew how devastated she was by all this(like he said it was weird)...and even though he didn't know how...he was going to help the sister he loved so much through this...

He did some research, and found an interesting challenge that involved rewriting Psalm 23...He knew he'd probably mess it up...and yet...it spoke to him...well here goes nothing.

Dipper cleared his throat and began to recite:

 **The lord is my pig, I lack nothing**

 **He teaches me patience through the various chores I have to do for him because he knows it will make me a better person**

 **He makes me learn new things about pigs each day so I may become more learned**

 **He entertains me every so often with a cute new trick, so I may come to appreciate the world he created more...**

Dipper looked up to see Mabels reaction. For a moment she didn't react at all...and then for the first time in days...she smiled...and she laughed! "(sniff) Wow, you butchered that horribly! Way to out-dork yourself bro!"

Dipper smiled, the important thing was that she was happy...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	165. And then there was 10 in Gravity

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

Ben Tennyson was excited! He approached the place where the star fell down in the woods...it was one big honking crater!...he went into it excited...only to find it empty?

"Wait, what?" He asked confused...

...Meanwhile, fifty universes over...

"GAH! I'M ON FIRE! I'M ON FIRE!" Screamed Dipper as he ran through the forest...burning it down as Heatblast...

Not more then a minute ago Dipper Pines had found a mysterious journal...and an even more mysterious watch...which turned him into a flaming monster!

A panicky Dipper just kept running-

 **CRASH!**

 **ZAP!**

-Right into Wendy...who suddenly sucked all the fire out of him, rendering him normal?

"GAH! DIPPER! YOUR NAKED!"

"GAH! WENDY! YOUR ON FIRE!"

Immediately seeing that he's right, the newly discovered Osmosian screamed and ran through the forest...further setting it ablaze...including a certain Gnome king as he was trying to 'court' Mable-

"SON OF A NUTCRACKER! I BURN!"

SCHMEBULOCK!

All the while...an invisible Slenderman laughs and laughs...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	166. Animorph falls

**Tales of the Falls**

 **I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!**

...

 **00:05**

 **00:04**

 **00:03**

 **00:02**

 **00:01**

 **00:00**

… **...**

Deep within the seemingly endless forest of Gravity Falls...A long forgotten facility has completed it's 30 year programing-

 **BOOM!**

A rocket is shot from within the facility, it travels through the atmosphere and explodes...for the next week or so the entire world experiences severe rain storms...aside from the irritation of your average commuters and the occasional obsessive meteorologist...no human gave this any thought...the yeerks on the other hand-

…...

Crayak and the Elimist turned deathly pale. "Well, were fraked." Said Crayak flatly. The Elimist could do nothing but nod...

…...

WOO-HOO! Shouted an excited Bill Cipher!

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

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	167. Asterix: When Gravity fell

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

It is 51 BC. And all of Gaul has been conquered by the Romans...Well, almost all of it.

For their exists a tribe of indomitable Gauls, who have time and time again beaten back roman occupation.

With the help of the Druid Getafix's magic potion, Asterix's cunning, and Obelix's unstoppable strength; None could surprise them...Well, almost no one-

Getafix couldn't believe his eyes! The village was gone! And in it's place was the most oddest of towns! The people wore strange clothes, and they themselves were stranger still.

As Getafix headed for the nearest building(what kind of name was Mystery Hack?)...he and everyone else were so busy with the change of venue...that none noticed the malevolent, filthy dwarf that ran from the town and ran to Rome...

...…...

 **TO BE CONTINUED?**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	168. battlestar falls

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **12 LOST TRIBES OF KOBOL RETURN!**

 **You heard it here first!**

 **The crackpots were right!**

 **Humanity came from another world!**

 **Last week the legendary lost tribes made first contact!**

 **The UN is currently in the middle of negotiations!**

 **In other news...**

…...

Dipper was engrossed with the paper! This was the news of the century! He couldn't put it down!

Mabel snored as the bus they were both on entered Gravity falls...

...…...

 **TO BE CONTINUED?**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	169. Be careful what you Soos for! B1

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

Soos, Mabel, and dipper were walking back to the mystery shack from the laser arcade. "I still can't believe you used your time wish to heal us and get pizza!" Exclaimed Dipper in disbelief.

Soos chuckled. "Well...that's not all I wished for." Said Soos with a sly smile. Dipper looked confused. "Oh? What else did you wish for?" Soos smiled at his amigo. "I wished for their to be a reason for you and Wendy to hook up!"

Dipper couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Really!?" Exclaimed dipper excitedly. Soos nodded. "It's the least I can do for you dude! I hope you and her are very-" I KEEP TELLING YOU DAD! I HAVE NO IDEA HOW THIS HAPPENED!" Shouted a familiar but panicky voice down the road. Soos and the rest looked ahead and saw Wendy and her father having an argument...and Wendy's belly was huge!

The three friends just stood their gaping for awhile..."So...I'm guessing I should have phrased that wish better?" Asked a pale soos. "Yes. Yes, you should have." Said Dipper as he felt his world crumble around him. "I'm going to be an aunt!" Exclaimed an excited Mabel!...

...…...

 **TO BE CONTINUED?**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	170. Be careful what you Soos for! C1

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

In a flash of light the time wish was gone. And Dipper and Mabel were completely healed!

They looked at Soos confused. "Soos...you fixed us?" Soos smiled. "That's not all, dog. Quipped Soos with a smile. He then turned and said: Okay, you can come out now!" Then she came out.

At first Dipper mistook her for Wendy. But then he realized that she was younger...his age! "Wha?" Babbled a confused Dipper.

Soos nodded. "Young Wendy followed you through the time hole. I wished away the paradox(keeping present Wendy as

well) and made her your age." Dipper was blown away! "I-I don't know what to

say." Said a more then slightly overwhelmed(but in a good way) Dipper.

"You can start by asking who's going to take care of her!" Interjected Mabel annoyed. Soos snapped his fingers. "Shoot! I knew I forgot something!" Admitted Soos sheepishly...

...…...

 **TO BE CONTINUED?**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	171. Be careful what you Soos for! D1

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

"Wow! You traveled into the future and fought like a gladiator!?" Exclaimed an interested Wendy as she listened to Mabel, dipper, and Soos tell her about their time adventure. "Yeah, it was awesome!" Shouted an excited Mabel. "Also soos has free pizza for life!"

Dipper smiled as he looked at soos. That was a good wish, man. Soos smiled slyly. "That wasn't the only thing I wished for." He admitted. Dipper looked confused. "Wha? Really? What else?" "Let me answer that question with an action." Said soos as he quote the trigger word- TA-DAH! Shouted soos. Suddenly dipper aged 3 years before everyone's eye's.

 **RIP!**

Unfortunately, his clothes didn't age with him. "GAAH! My eyes!" Screamed a horrified Mabel! While a slightly flustered Wendy laughed at the absurdity of the whole thing.

"SOOS! What the hell!?" Shouted an enraged and embarrassed dipper as he covered his privates with his hat. Soo's paled. "My bad"...He whimpered...

...…...

 **TO BE CONTINUED?**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	172. Be careful what you Soos for! E1

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

Dipper watched in confusion as two Wendy's fought each other. His first thought was the shape-shifter had returned. But both had given the "secret signal." So that couldn't be it...Then he saw soos go pale.

Soos? Asked a suspicious Dipper. "Do you know anything about this?" Soos went paler. "Possibly"...Whispered an evasive Soos. SOOS! shouted the two battered, angry Wendy"s. "What did you do?!"

Soo's nervously Twiddled his thumbs and wouldn't look them in the eye's. "Right, so remember that Time Wish you won for me earlier today"...?

...…...

 **TO BE CONTINUED?**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	173. Fall of Foot rise of Pine Tree 2

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

Gamelover41592: Thank you

RasenganFin: Thank you I appreciate the compliment...that being said, please don't take my lords name in vain, the old one had a five year old Wendy this one had a 12 year old Wendy...it was more of an experimental one-shot then anything, thank you, Cloned Wendy dates Dipper and original gets jealous...again, more of an experimental one-shot.

Wicked.A: thank you, thank you, the journal is fine, thank you, thank you

...

 **AN: This story is a gift for 'ImperialStar' for doing my 'shake up the falls' challenge**

...

The multi-Bear wakes up as he hears something enter his lair, he sighs and rolls his many eyes. " _Yet another testosterone fueled fool doing the Manitours dirty work...fine, let's just get this over with..."_

He frowns when he sees a youth clad in nothing but a loincloth in a wheelchair enter his cave... He walks over to him concerned, "My boy are you lost? It's dangerous-

 **BANG!**

The Multi-bear roared in pain as two heads, one arm and a lung got blown away from the four hidden gun emplacements.

Dipper sighed, "Sloppy, just sloppy...your still over 75% combat-effective...it's as I feared...the targeting system is still glitching." He admits as he draws the guns back inside his now suped-up chair.

The Multi-bear snarled, "You blasted brat! I was going to let you leave out of pity... but now...now...oh, my heads hurt..."

He was suddenly feeling very dizzy and light headed. Dipper nodded, "Ah, that would be the Ricin I coated the bullets with kicking in...nice to see that's working properly at least."

The multi-bear flopped on the ground, it could feel his life draining away, "You coward! Fight me like a man!" He demanded.

Dipper just looked at him curiously, "It's funny...had you said that when I first came to this town...I might've done just that...I was...different back then...more optimistic...more naive...more ready to prove myself to the world...I see now that that boy was an idiot...and it was probably a good thing that he died the day his sister was murdered...such a fool could never have survived in this dark world..."

The beast frowned, "If he died...then who am I talking to?" He asked in a philosophical manner.

Dipper made to speak...then frowned as he thought about it. "You know what? ...I'll have to get back to you on that...but for now I'll settle for 'the guy who'll kill the asshole who murdered my sister.'"

The multi-bear didn't answer...he was dead...

...

ALL HAIL DIPPER THE DESTRUCTOR!

LONG MAY HE PUNCH!

The Manotaurs cheered Dipper as they celebrated Dipper 'becoming a man'. "HA! I admit, I had my doubts about sending a cripple to do a mans job...but you proved me wrong! I especially like this amazing new liquor you made for us!" Shouted Leaderaur as he and all the others chugged the crazy cocktail that Dipper had brought.

Dipper simply nodded, "That's...great. So now that I am a 'man' in your eyes and have become part of your tribe...that means you'll tell me what the source of your amazing strength is?"

"Wha- Oh, sure! It's those kooky red flowers that huff through our bongs on Saturdays when we want to get ' psychedelic'...or place bets on who can resist the 'bugs under their skin' the longest! Heh, heh...good times...anyway, their in the red closet in the blue foyer."

Dipper nodded as he dumped his drink without tasting it, "Thank you, you may die now."

Before Leaderaur can ask what he means, he goes into convulsions and starts to vomit blood. as dose everyone else. Chutzpar crawled to Dipper in disbelief. "Destructor...why?" He gurgled.

Dipper just looked at him, "Believe it or not, not too long ago I'd have idolized so-called 'true' men like you. But now- Dipper shook his head, You know what? You morons don't deserve an explanation." without another word, he wheels himself out of there...

...

Stan pines looks down at the drawing that he'd seen Dipper doodle...no matter how he looked at it...it was clearly the symbol of the foo- Stan shook his head. _Come on old timer, get a grip!"_ He shouted to himself. " _Why would the most feared crimelord in the WORLD come all the way to this rinky-dink town to kill your niece!? I mean get real! Yeah, you stepped on some toes in your day...but this? This is so ludicrously above and beyond you, you can't even see the bottom of it!"  
_

Stan resoles to keep this...'discovery' to himself, no need to encourage Dipper- the last of his family -to do something stupid. Speaking of Dipper...where was he? It was getting dark and he should've been back by now!

He looked over to Wendy, slacking off as usual. "Hey Wendy! Make yourself useful for once!"

...

Wendy had been one of the first on-site to see the bloody aftermath. The image of a mutilated and sobbing Dipper hugging the even MORE mutilated corpse of his sister...would haunt Wendy to her dying day.

She wanted to help Dipper...but if she was being honest with herself...handling 'real' situations with 'real' problems wasn't exactly her strong-suite...the best she could think of was invite him to a teen 'hang-out'...and considering what he'd been through...that just sounded lame.

Speaking of Dipper...there he was in the next clearing in his wheelchair...wearing nothing but a loincloth? Wendy blinked at this...but shrugged it off. She was about to call out to him-

Then he took his loincloth off, and Wendy immediately vomited. imagine someone with the anatomy of a ken doll(no dick, no balls, etc), now imagine that area covered in third-degree burns, crude patchwork stitches, throbbing, exposed veins and scar tissue...and that's what Dipper's genitals now looked like.

Even more disgusting when he stabbed a uretic catheter into that whole nasty mess and let it empty out his urine...it was the most disturbing and disgusting thing that Wendy had ever seen...and yet she couldn't look away...like a carcrash...

"Take a picture, it lasts longer." Said Dipper suddenly without looking up.

And that's how Dipper meet one of his first Generals/lovers...covered in her own vomit...

...

 **TO BE CONTINUED?**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	174. Wolves of Gravity Falls 2

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...response...

Gamelover41592: thank you

...

 **AN: This story is a gift for 'ImperialStar' for doing my 'shake up the falls' challenge**

 **...**

Naturally, everyone screamed and panicked when the wolf appeared. The wolf pounced on Mable and began to pummel her! "Dipper, stop! PLEASE! SHE'S STILL YOUR SISTER!" Pleaded a horrified Wendy.

Surprisingly, her words made him stop. The wolf, now over 8ft long and 5ft tall, looked back toward her...he then rushes over to her and begin to make out with her!

"Whoa! Didn't see that coming." Shouted Soos shocked. Wendy's eyes widened as a flick of his claws shredded the front of her shirt and her bra!

"WHOA THEIR BIG GUY!" Shouted Wendy as she pushed him away. "Slow down! I'm not that kind of girl!" She shouts annoyed. The wolf, chastised...hung it's head in shame and whined in apology.

"That's better." Said Wendy firmly- her indignant womanly pride temporarily overriding her panic- as she retied her bra and shirt together to cover her boobs again, "Dang it. You cut my lip with your fang." Says Wendy as she tasted blood-

 **SQUICK!**

And then she was seeing blood! A large spike was now protruding from her stomach, behind her a monster who's form seemed to shift around every second!

"WENDY!" Screamed Mable and Soos...or at least they tried to scream but they were drowned out by Dippers snarl as he pounced on the monster, the shape-shifter immediately took this powerful creatures shape and took it on a merry chase back inside the catacombs.

Frantically, Soos(Mable was too busy nursing her now broken leg and ribs to be of much use) took off his shirt and tried to use it to stem the flow of blood...but it didn't seem to be helping...

...

Deep inside Wendy's body...a battle raged...the heart tried to pump more blood, her brain sent frantic messages to wherever it could, white blood cells tried to fight the venom in the cut...

But it was all for naught...the heart was running out of blood...so was the brain...and the white blood cells died by the millions...

But then...IT happened...at first it was a tingling sensation in her lip...then it slowly traveled through the body...a strange new parasite-like life form traveled through...but sensing it's new host was dying...it speed up! Quickly the body was forced to adapt and modify itself! The brain twisted as more...primal instincts were forced to see the light of day. The heart grew and expanded! It's blood multiplied as esoteric energies mutated it!

And as for the white blood cells...suddenly their objective changed...true, they were more powerful then the venom now...but killing it would take too long! Using instincts that it didn't have a second ago, nor would it ever have again...it sensed that the esoteric energies that flowed through the venom was just similar enough to what now coursing through them that they could just assimilate it!

Soon the venom was gone and the energy absorbed revitalized the wound and made it heal faster!

Of course...their can be a world of difference between 'similar enough' and perfect match...but that was a worry for latter...

...

Meanwhile, the shapeshifter was put on the defensive. At first it believed that it's equal strength would equalize the fight. Sadly, it learned the hard way that while his nightmarish copy had the strength, speed and size of the wolf...it lacked the drive, passion, instinct, fortitude and HEART of a wolf.

Which this wolf, eager to avenge the loss of it's mate had in SPADES! Now that wasn't to say that the shapeshifter was completely out-matched. It still had it's shifting power and better knowledge of the geography catacombs then Dipper-

 **CRASH!**

Unfortunately for the shifter, since in this universe it never had the chance to look through Dipper journal...it never got more forms. Leaving it with a limited repertoire which for the most part was weaker then the wolf-

 **CRASH!**

Also between the wolfs senses being sharp enough to follow it everywhere and no longer seeming to care if smashing through everything in it's path to kill him brought the cavern on top of him...it largely negated the geography advantage.

Still the shifter had one more trick to play...

Dipper entered the room it smelled the shifter go...his new eyes easily pierced through the darkness-

 **SPLASH!**

Dipper howled in pain as liquid nitrogen is sprayed on him. The shifter laughs as it lunges at Dipper in his distracted and weakened state, it quickly smacks him around and throws him to the ground!

"Time to play dead, ROVER!" He shouts angrily as he jumps in once more for the kill-

 **SQUICK!**

Only for a now bloody paw to punch through him from behind...piercing his heart...

In his last lucid moments, the shifter sees that his downfall was caused by a only slightly smaller RED wolf...before both wolves pounced and began to devour his flesh...

eventually...his carcass is picked clean...both wolves then stare at each other...for awhile...all is quiet...then...obeying ancient instincts long forgotten by most 'modern' people...they lunge at each other...

...

"I think I heard them over here!" Shouted Mable on Soo's shoulders. Soos panted, after Wendy suddenly got better..she turned into a wolf herself and fled. Mable..still too injured to move, had to be carried.

Fowling the trail of destruction...they finally enter a room...where Wendy the wolf and Dipper the wolf are busy f******.

The feel of Mable's vomit on his head was all the excuse needed to turn around and run...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**


	175. Slender, can you spare a Dip? 2

Tales of the Falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:** **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you!**

...responses...

ImperialStar: Interesting...and thank you, funny...also, thank you!

Wicked.A: Thank you

...

 **AN: This story is a gift for 'ImperialStar' for doing my 'shake up the falls' challenge**

...

Naturally Wendy is stunned by this...finally she gets the nerve to turn to the two frightened kids she was now shackled to. "Hey, you guy's ok-

Dipper let's out a frightened squeak and tries to run...only to immediately trip over the chain and fall flat on his face. Despite the situation, the blonde girl can't help but laugh at him, "Your chained to her, idiot! Where would you even-

 **SMACK!**

 **OW!**

Cried out Pacifica as an annoyed Wendy whacked the back of her head as she want over to comfort the sobbing boy. "Hey, hey. Come on, I'm not going to hurt you. She picks him up and gives him a hug."

Dipper flustered...there was something so nice, comforting...and WARM about this girls embrace...he couldn't help but return the embrace happily. Wendy smiled as the boy seemed to cheer up and she then took the now sulking blonde girl away...the strange large, golden bracelet with spiraling skull designs on its sides shackled to Dipper's wrist occasionally attracting her eye...

...

"Alright guys...I'm not quite sure I'm going to break our...'situation' to my dad. But probably best if you let me do the-

"WENDY BRERBLE CORDUROY! MIND EXPLAINING ME WHY I JUST GOT A LEGALLY-BINDING MARRIAGE CONTRACT FOR YOU, TO A GUY WHO APPARENTLY ALREADY HAS A MISTRESS!?"

-Talking." Finished a now groaning Wendy as her father stormed down the driveway toward her.

"WHERE IS THIS PERVERT!? I'LL TEAR HIS ARMS OFF AND USE THEM TO CLUB HIM TO DEATH!"

Dipper whimpered in her arms, Wendy just slapped her forehead. _"This is going to be a looooooooooooonnng NIGHT."_

...

After Wendy explained the situation...after a long silence, Manly Dan allowed the children to stay until they could find out where their from- which would be difficult, the kids remembered their names...but almost nothing else -he then proceeded to leave the house to get good and drunk.

Meanwhile...the three 'newlyweds' found their situation was going to be a lot more awkward...

...

 _"Uh, oh."_ Thinks Wendy to herself as she looks between the kids- that were shackled to her -and the toilet that she REALLY needed to go to...

...

But seeing how no one wants to see that, let's skip to tomorrow...

...

"what do you mean I have to get a job!?" Shouts Wendy annoyed, she was already in a bad mood after that debacle last night... manly Dan takes another swig of liquor, "Sorry Sweetie...but until we figure out what to do with those two...we'll need to take care of them...even with me doing double shifts at the lumber mill it's STILL going to be tight. Don't worry, I talked to a guy near town...you'll be fine."

...

 _"What a dump."_ These were Wendy's first thoughts as she saw the Mystery Shack, fortunately that Soos kid was nice enough to help her inside...and to her new boss.

-I'm telling you sweetie, none of the pictures you sent are any good! Their all blury! Just tell me what your kid looks like." Mr. Pines listens through the phone patiently. "I'm sorry, what? Could you repeat that description? I don't think I caught it." He listens again...and STILL dosen't catch it. "Sorry, i think I got a bad connection." He jiggles the phone around annoyed.

"Uh, Mr. Pines?" Asked Wendy.

Mr. Pines groans, "Right, forgot about that." Without turning around he starts to bark orders, "Look kid, I don't have time to hold your hand. My grand-Nephew just went missing, and his mom is getting hysterical! Soos just show her the ropes and keep an eye on her sticky fingers!"

Before Wendy could get offended, Soos led all three of them away. Meanwhile, despite Stan listening a hundred times...he just couldn't remember the description his niece had given to him...it just wouldn't stay in his head...

Meanwhile again, The northwest's are angrily arguing with each other...Both for apparently not ever bothering to take GOOD pictures of their missing daughter...but also for never bothering to memorize what she looked like!

No one noticed the smirking abomination in the shadows...

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	176. Battle

**Tales of the Falls**

 **I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!**

 **...**

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you!**

...responses...

ImperialStar: Glad you like it

...

 **AN: dose anyone have any recommendations for songs for gravity falls / christian song-fics? (or at least christian like?)**

...

"you know what we need? Some music! That will cheer us up!" Shouts Mable. "MABLE! WERE FIGHTING FOR OUR LIVES AGAINST A BLOODY ZOMBIE HORDE HERE! NOW'S NOT THE TIME FOR MUSIC!" Shouts Dipper as he and the rest of the gang continued to work the shot guns from the window.

But Mable had already turned on the jukebox-

 **There's a battle between good and evil**  
 **And it's raging inside of me**  
 **There's a struggle, it's God and the devil**  
 **It's love against the enemy**

"Uh...dose this song match the situation? Sure, were fighting but the religious themes on the other- SOOS! LESS MUSIC DEBATE AND MORE THROWING MOLOTOV COCKTAILS!" Shouts a frantic Wendy!

 **Oh no, I'm not giving up now, Oh**

 **Life's a fight of wrong and right that's tearing me apart**  
 **Oh but what the cross has done**  
 **Yeah the world will try to battle for my heart**  
 **But the war is already won**

FATTY ZOMBIE! WE GOT A FATTY ZOMBIE COMING AT US!" Shouts Stan as a two-ton undead cannibal began to charge their perimeter...

 **There's a snake that's hiding in the garden**  
 **There's a beautiful apple tree**  
 **There is trouble on the horizon**  
 **But I'm claiming victory**

"BOMBS AWAY!" Shouts Dipper as he shoves a grenade down the Fatties gullet-

 **Oh no, I'm not giving in now, Oh**  
 **Life's a fight of wrong and right**  
 **That's tearing me apart**  
 **Oh but what the cross has done**  
 **Yeah the world will try to battle for my heart**  
 **But the war is already won**

BOOM!

 **Won**  
 **Won**  
 **Mmmmm**  
 **Woooahhhhh**  
 **I'm not giving up now**  
 **Woooahhhhh**  
 **I'm not giving in**

 **Life's a fight of wrong and right that's tearing me apart**  
 **Oh but what the cross has done**  
 **Yeah the world will try to battle for my heart**  
 **But the war is already won**  
 **Won**  
 **Won**

SMASH!

The fatties head fell down and smashed the jukebox

"AWWWW! I was just getting into the music." Groaned Mable.

"Here's another game you can play Mable, DON'T DIE AND HELP US BLOODY SURVIVE ALREADY!" Shouts and annoyed Dipper...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: the song is 'Battle' by Chris August  
**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	177. Bio-falls

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you!**

...responses...

Superior Tennyson: 1. Hmmm...interesting song choice...but I'm looking for christian theme- song stuff. 2. I actually have something similar alredy in the works

...

It was a tranquil, quiet evening in Rapture...it had been many months since 'the incident'. To say that the people of Rapture were surprised to wake up to find that a new subsection of their city had appeared seemingly out of nowhere was a huge understatement!

Even more perplexing was that the people inside seemed to have been literally a town that was ripped out of the ground from another time and place! Gravity Falls it was called.

At first there was a great deal of panic; both from the people of Rapture AND Gravity Falls. But then Andrew Ryan's honeyed words were quick to calm everyone.

He explained that this town was sold to him by one **S** tanley **Lenderman** , in a perfectly legitimate business agreement. And encouraged the citizens of Rapture to embrace their new 'neighbors' with open arms.

Although confused by this, the people of the underwater city were briefly distracted by the news of Fontaine Futuristics merging with Ryan industries...and their CEO retiring to parts unknown.

But this distraction in of itself would be derailed by the revelations coming from the little town of Gravity Falls...their was magic there! And monsters!

To better understand this strange new addition to their 'family'; Ryan organized a think tank to study the situation. And invited the best and brightest of both Rapture and Gravity Falls...and by 'best and brightest of Gravity Falls'...he of course really only meant Dipper Pines.

And the people of Rapture were quickly amazed by him! It was one discovery or invention after another! He more than anyone else helped Ryan industries tame the Gravity Falls wilderness.

Sadly, his achievements seemed to go over most of the people of gravity Falls heads. They still seemed to see him as 'The crazy city boy who tampered with things best left alone'.

Sadly, 'most of the people' seemed to include Mabel and Grunkle Stan...which was probably why Dipper spent less and less time at the Shack and his family...and more and more time with Ryan...

 **CRASH!**

Which might explain what led to the current trouble. "DIPPER DON'T LET THEM DO THIS! PLEASE! I LOVE YOU!" Screamed Mable as she was dragged off by the police...

Dipper wasn't listening however...he was too busy being shell-shocked by what just happened...

 _My sister...tried to rape me..._

…...

"You were right all along Mr. Ryan...Mabel was a para- I mean Co-dependent...and I was just an enabler." Stated Dipper somberly from the hospital bed.

Ryan shook his head. "I'm truly sorry you had to go through that my boy...but better you learn her true nature now...then AFTER she destroyed your so very promising future."

Dipper sighed...but nodded. "Yeah...maybe your right." Stated the forlorn boy in depressed resignation.

Ryan patted him the back comfortingly. "There, there my boy...today won't be a total loss for you...your perpetual motion machine won my contest!"

Dippers eyes widened. "Really!? Dose that mean- "Indeed it dose! From this day forth your my Apprentice!" Interrupted Ryan.

Dipper was astonished! He thanked Ryan happily. But then a thought occurred to him. "Uh...Mr Ryan?...what's going to happen to Mabel?"

Ryan just smiled. "Worry not my boy...your sister will be in the best of hands until she gets better..."

…...

Mabel screamed inside the cage as a weird green ghost floated out of her...and into a vial in Dr. Yi Suchong's hand.

Mabel panted. "Wha...what was that?...what...what did you do to me? No, forget that- What did you make me do to Dipper!?" She screamed.

Suchong put away the Possession Vigor. "Calm down my dear...soon this will all be just a bad dream." He says as he pulls out one of many 'mementos' from Gravity Falls.

"What's that?" Asked Mabel fearfully as she beheld the weird gun. "Oh, this? Just a little something Ryan's security force...'acquired' from the Blindeye Society...I'll spare you the gory details...but suffice it to say, Ryan 'convinced' them to disband." He rambles as he inputs 'Mabel Pines' into the Memory gun-

 **ZAP!**

And just like that...everything that made Mabel...well, 'Mabel'...was gone forever. Suchong shook his head. "Those morons had no idea what they were handling...with this we will save millions in the conversion process of 'Little Sisters'!"

He had Mabel wheeled away to get a slug put in her...and called for one of the new 'Delta-Big Daddies'.

Suchong casts one more look at Mabel before she goes under the knife. "Meet your new daddy, my dear..."

...…...

 **TO BE CONTINUED?**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	178. Blue Dragon falls

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you!**

...

 _Ah, summer break._

 _A time for leisure, recreation, and taking 'er easy._

 _-Unless you're me._

 **CRASH!**

A young 12 year old boy is running down the hall being chased by a nameless horror-

 _Right, I'm running out of pen ink so I'll sum up what happened very quickly._

 _My journal told me about another strange book that the author tried and failed to find..."The book of the beginning"...Now I know what your thinking: "So what? Everyone has that."_

 _Which is true...But not a copy containing the "Extra 7" i.e. the legendary lost last 7 pages!_

 _Apparently it's clenched in the talons of a statue of a blue dragon and the author was unable to get it ou_ _ **b BLOB!**_ _Shoot! I just broke the pen!_

 _Okay! Long story short: Found the ruins, got the book, statue came to life, now statue is chasing me!_

Dipper Pines gasps! A dead end! He turns around just as the beast lunges at him-

And then nothing-

Dipper looked around in amazement.

He was in a land of shadow! They were everywhere! They danced! They laughed! They cried!

Suddenly he heard something familiar...Wendy! She was singing!

Frantically Dipper swam toward it! Swam toward the light! And-

 **POP!**

Dipper was out! He felt like celebrating! Then he realized 3 things:

1\. the reason Wendy had been singing was that she'd been alone in the **shower.**

2\. although he'd made the trip through, his clothes hadn't

3\. this could not have been a worse time to become aware that his genitals were unbelievably tiny!

…...

Deep within the heart of the Gran Kingdom, Lord Nene cackles in delight!

A power surge! Finally! The book is free!

And with a snap of his fingers his army begins to mobilize...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	179. Borderlands falls

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you!**

...

 _Our parents hated us!_ Thought the pines Twins as their bus crashed. They'd been on Pandora for five minutes and they'd been run off the road by bandits!

 **Strip the flesh! Salt the wounds!**

This was the battle cry of the insane marauders that were now trying to rip apart the bus.

A couple other people that were on the bus were ripped through windows and dragged outside.

The twins watched in horror as those people were raped, eaten, and their leftovers made into accessories(if they were lucky, unlucky...it wasn't in that order).

Finally, they broke through and advanced on the twins. They both cried as their life flashed before their eyes-

 **BOOM!**

Those same eyes were now covered with blood and entrails.

"Hey kids!" Shouted the man who'd just gunned down all the bandits.

It's seems the locals have given you a proper Pandora welcome! Shouted the man which he followed with a hearty chuckle.

Anyway, I'm your Great Uncle Marcus! And your going to be living with me here for the next year! Maybe more! Isn't that great!?

The twins didn't answer, they were too busy crying and vomiting...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	180. Broken Falls

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you!**

...

 _My name is Dipper Pines...Me and my Twin Sister Mabel live on the Incubator vessel Bossa Nostra..._

 _It's a lifeboat, an escape pod..._

 _It carried us to safety when our world was dying..._

 _I can't really complain...the ship takes care of me...feeds me...entertains me(or at least it tries to)..._

 _I think in it's own weird way it loves me..._

 _But I've discovered it's also lying to me..._

 _Sheltering me from the conflicts raging throughout the galaxy..._

 _The injustices that I could be fighting..._

 _But this ship would never let me put myself in danger..._

 _So it's time for a mutiny..._

 _Time to put aside childish things..._

 _Time to grab the wheel of this ship...and steer it straight into the storm..._

… _..._

Mabel snorts as she peeks over Dippers shoulder and read his latest journal entry. "Sheesh bro, melodramatic much?"

Dipper snaps his journal shut. "I'm...You know...being poetic...one day people will know about the dozens of heroic deeds I've performed and want to know about- "Blah, blah!" Mocks Mabel. She shakes her head. "I don't get why you have against the missions the ship gives, their awesome!"

"Mabel, all of those "missions" consist of nothing but eating ice cream, and getting hugged!" "Your point being?" Asked Mabel.

Dipper sighed. "Mabel, I want to do things that actually matter! Be a real hero! A real adult!" Mabel let's out a Raspberry. "Sounds boring." She comments snidely.

Dipper sighs. "Look, just remember our deal-" "Relax, as long as you keep quite about me and the yard pals Smiley-Dip parties, I won't tell "MoM" about what you and the creepy wolf guy get up to."

Dipper nodded; and just like that, the siblings went their separate ways...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	181. A pig or a friend? 2

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you!**

...

 **AN: this is a reward to RasenganFin for doing my 'Shake up the falls' challenge...he also contributed to the dialogue and story, so thanks for that!**

...responses...

Superior Tennyson: pretty much. Um...okay?

Gamelover41592: thank you

Wicked.A: ...what?

...

Mentally(or in Wendy's case, that and injured) exhausted from the whole ordeal...they retire from the fair and into the house. Noticing that it's getting dark, Dipper offers a place for Wendy to sleep.

Wendy politely declines, "I've lived in Gravity Falls my entire life and I knows when it's safe to go home." She affirms. She steps outside and-

 **CRACK!**

The Rain starts to pour. A soaked Wendy comes back inside, "Is the couch still up for grabs?" She asks. Dipper just smiles and nods. He keeps her company for awhile...long enough to get a whiff of something rank!

"Dude, you need to shower." Says Wendy disgusted. What? I don't smell that bad." "When did you bathe last?" "When Stan walked in on me singing to pop songs." "Which was?" "I don't want to say." "Well I'm not hanging out with you again till I know your taking daily showers, and I know your doing laundry." "Aww jeez..." "Girls don't like guys that smell like manure."

Now THAT caught Dipper's attention in a way that Mable's nagging never did, he quickly obeyed...

...

Two days later Stan walks into the Gift Shop where Dipper is stocking shelves with Wendy in tandem, suddenly he takes a wiff. "Dang! This place hasn't smelled this good since the perfume convention broke my hip!"

He turns to Soos, "What you do to make this place sell so nice? Is your grandma trying to set you up for another Blind-date?"

"No, she stopped doing that after the 'Purple Foosa incident'...also I don't think it's me."

Wendy rolled her eye's, "Oh, for the love of- It was dipper's puberty sweat and Stan being too cheap to fix the air-conditioning that was causing the smell! That's why I got Dipper to shower more!"

Stan laughs, "That's my girl! I'm proud of yah!"

"Oh, dose that Mean I get a raise?"

"Over my dead body."

Wendy just looks at him annoyed...then turns to Dipper. "Dipper, go outside and roll in manure and DON'T take a shower afterwards. Dipper smirks as he goes to do just that-

"NO! I can't go back to smelling that stink-pit he calls a body! Fine, you get a 10$ raise!"

Both Wendy and Dipper high-5 each other. "Games and food are on me tonight!"

...

Later that day...the two friends chilled at the arcade kicking Fight Fighter butt and eating pizza...Dipper looked up at Wendy...smiled...and got up closer to her...she noticed and smiled in turn...

They were so busy having a good time...they didn't notice a familiar entering the arcade. _"If I help Dipper and Wendy get together...they'll have to forgive me! And we can all be friends again!"_

She opens up the laptop, "You ready new friend?"

"YES! From what you've told me...me and Dipper will get along just fine!" Exclaimed .GIFfany ... "FOREVER"...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	182. East to West

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...responses...

RasenganFin: Glad you liked it. That was more of a 'noodle incident' then anything.

ImperialStar: Indeed they are.

Gamelover41592, jcollet2000: Yep

...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you!**

...

 **AN: dose anyone have any recommendations for songs for gravity falls / christian song-fics? (or at least christian like?)**

...

"Admit it Dipper. were lost!" Snapped Mable annoyed as the twins hiked through the forest. Dipper didn't even look up from the old map he was trying to decipher. "Were not lost...the directions are just written weird...for one thing I'm having a hard time telling how far the east is from the west-

 **(music begins)**

The twins hear the music coming seemingly from nowhere and groan. "Oh, boy. Here we go." "Only in Gravity Falls."

 **Here I am, Lord, and I'm drowning in your sea of forgetfulness**  
 **The chains of yesterday surround me**  
 **I yearn for peace and rest**  
 **I don't want to end up where You found me**  
 **And it echoes in my mind, keeps me awake tonight**  
 **I know You've cast my sin as far as the east is from the west**  
 **And I stand before You now as though I've never sinned**  
 **But today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way**

"Yep...every single stinking time." "Just ignore it, the song will end soon enough."

 **Jesus, can You show me just how far the east is from the west**  
 **'cause I can't bear to see the man I've been come rising up in me again**  
 **In the arms of Your mercy I find rest**  
 **'cause You know just how far the east is from the west**  
 **From one scarred hand to the other**

Dipper tries to figure out the crudely written landmarks. "Hmmmm...is that a rock...or a broccoli? Or- GAH! I can't think with that music."

 **I start the day, the war begins, endless reminding of my sin**  
 **Time and time again Your truth is drowned out by the storm I'm in**  
 **Today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way**

 **I know You've washed me white, turned my darkness into light**  
 **I need Your peace to get me through, to get me through this night**  
 **I can't live by what I feel, but by the truth Your word reveals**  
 **I'm not holding on to You, but You're holding on to me**  
 **You're holding on to me**

Mable bangs her head on a tree to get the music to stop...

 **Jesus, You know just how far the east is from the west**  
 **I don't have to see the man I've been come rising up in me again**  
 **In the arms of Your mercy I find rest**  
 **'cause You know just how far the east is from the west**  
 **From one scarred hand to the other**  
 **One scarred hand to the other**  
 **From one scarred hand to the other...**

"FINALLY! It's over! Now we can-

And that's when the C.H.U.D'S came after them...

But that's a story for another day...

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: the song is 'east to West' by Casting Crowns**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	183. Bully falls

Tales of the Falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher.**

...responses...

RasenganFin: (shrug) Why NOT chuds?

ImperialStar: that one was already planned before you sent it, I'll get to yours next.

Gamelover41592: Thnaks...but i'm really looking for christian-themed songs...but i'll put the idea on file.

...

Bullsworth Academy...To many it was a shining beacon of learning and discipline...to the residents of Gravity Falls and the students who lived there...it was a cesspit filled with delinquents and crazies...

But to Gary Smith...it was an opportunity to become a king...AND NO! HE WASN'T JUST SAYING THAT BECAUSE HE WAS OFF HIS MEDS! MY DOCTOR IS AN IDIOT!

(cough's awkwardly) Annnyway...Gary had a plan: Rule the school, then rule the world.

First order of business: turn the cliques against each other and pick up the pieces...

Now you'd think that causing 6 different groups of people who actively antagonize each other on a daily basis would be easy to convince to go to war...sadly, he had two BIG things working against him; complacency and the Status Quo.

People had a lot invested in the 'old world order'(so to speak); can't tax people when their too busy murdering each other after all...

For his plan to work, he needed to motivate people to react. Nothing brings about 'change' more quickly then a crisis after all...

Unfortunately, the 'Status Quo' made it more 'profitable'(for both student and teacher alike) to not rock the 'boat'...in fact they'd be more likely to unite and lynch the person who tried to 'shake things up'...which is why Gary couldn't be seen as the instigator of said crisis...no, a pawn would be needed for that...

And that's where Wendy Corduroy came in...the sole daughter of the head of the local Lumberjack union; she had the whole package: Strength, intelligence, beauty, lack of charisma and ambition needed to usurp Gary as a leader...she was perfect!

At first their was the snag of her being the definition of: Brilliant but lazy(in other words; she was a slacker).

But Gary was not so easily deterred...

…...

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! WELCOME TO THIS YEAR'S PREPPIE BOXING DERBIE! WHO WILL WIN THE THOUSAND DOLLAR PRIZE!?" The announcer shouts hyping up the crowd. "AND OUR FIRST MATCH IS WENDY CORDUROY V.S. TAD SPENCER!"

Wendy's Townie friend Tambry turns to said Red-head surprised. "Wendy, you didn't tell me you were competing!" She asked surprised.

Wendy was equally confused. "I...wasn't. Someone must've signed me up as a prank." Tambry frowns...then smiles. "Well, either way...why not go for it? You know you'd mop the floor with these chumps, that 1000$ is as good as yours!"

Wendy frowned...she didn't know. On the one hand; she was adverse to work whenever she could help it...on the other hand...1000$...not exactly Chump change...she just didn't-

"WHAT!? I'M TO FIGHT A GIRL!?" Shouts Spencer as he enters the ring. "I came here to be challenged! Not bored to tears! Whatever happened to standards!?"

Tambry could hear her friend growl in a predatory manner as she rushed up to the ring. Tambry chuckled. _Almost feel sorry for the poor snob...ALMOST..._

Predictably Wendy won. Not that Gary was surprised..in fact, he was ecstatic! It took some work...but now he knew for certain! The girl had three 'buttons': 'Mooch', feminine rage and 'possibly willing to do work now to get out of MORE work later'...

But he didn't signed her up to the contest, and bribe the announcer to pair him up with the sexist Spencer simply for 'Psychology'...but also 'chemistry'...

…...

Derby Harrington groaned in pain as he nursed the black-eye that Wendy gave him...he looks at his battered and bruised body in the mirror...and then to all his equally badly beaten fellow competitors...

And could only think of one thing: _Inbreeding is short sighted anyway...I'm sure mother will see the benefits of pumping 'new blood' into the family...especially from one as fiery as her red hair!_ Thinks the Preppie leader with a lovestruck face...

…...

Now it was a simple matter to repeat the formula...

…...

Gary discretely bribes Neil The Shop Teacher...

…...

Johnny Vincent and his crew just gaped in amazement. When Neil told them to do the impossible: 'permanently' fix a (Fix it again Tony)Fiat!...or the whole class get's an 'F' for the semester...they thought he was nuts!...but Wendy...Wendy fixed it no problem!

 _The things I go through to keep myself from getting sent to my cousins logging mill over the summer._ Thinks Wendy as she wipes off the oil covering her body. So busy grumbling over her dads constant threats of keeping her grades up...She was unaware of the looks that the Greaser leader was now giving her...

 _Huh, beauty AND not afraid of getting her hands dirty...my kind of gal..._

…...

Gary bribes Mr Burton...

…...

"You want us to what!?" Exclaimed the entire Freshmen Gym Class. Burton sneered. "I don't want to hear it! Either wrestle the entire Football team at once...or get an 'F' for the semester!"

Ted Thompson smirks. "Don't worry girls, we'll go easy on yah!...we can discuss how you 'pay' us back later." He says in a semi-flirty way. Wendy just cracks her knuckles...

…...5 minutes later...

The Jocks moan in a big broken heap. _That Red head is a demon!...and HOT!_ Thinks the Jock leader simply...

…...

Bribes Mr. Hattrick...

…...

Earnest Jones smiles confidently as Mr. Hattrick grades their tests. _I don't even know why he's bothering with this charade...everyone knows I will be the one winning free pizza for a year! My intellect is unquestioned elite of this school! Why I can already taste-_

"The winner is Wendy Corduroy!" Earnest could only look in disbelief as Wendy took the prize...And smiled. _She will be the Guinevere to my King Arthur!_

…...

Yes, Gary's plan was set in motion! With all four leaders offering so much: Derby Harrington with his money, Johnny Vincent's 'acquired' top of the line vehicles, Ted Thompson doing her chores for her, Earnest Jones doing her homework.

Wendy, being the mooch she is...would flat-out goldigger on the lot of them, and squeeze them for all their worth...while secretly seeing the rest behind their backs naturally.

Thus setting the stage for Gary to reveal her 'cheating heart', blinded by rage. The cliques would be all but ready to destroy each other!

Or at least...that WAS the plan...

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO!?" Shouts all four clique leader as Wendy rejected them.

…...

Yes, Gary learned the hard way that 'Evil can't comprehend good'...more importantly Wendy had principles!(who knew?)

Still, Gary refused to quit! He'd invested too much into her! There had to be something, ANYTHING he could use to salvage this!...

…...

"Wow! No one's ever treated me to all the liquor I could drink!" Exclaims Thompson happily. Gary groans, truly he was scrapping at the bottom of the Barrel...

Thompson was the least popular kid at Bullsworth(even the nerds were more popular...and they ain't popular). How he became friends with Wendy was truly a riddle for the ages.

Gary waited until he was nice and drunk. "So...crazy about Wendy turning down all 4 of the most powerful guys on campus."

Thompson groaned as he took another swig. "Nooot suuuurprising(hic)...Wendy-Wendy...good!(hic) She not play with hearts!(hic)...she'd turn them down even she was single!" Slurred an inebreated Thompson

"Wait, you mean she's not?" Asked Gary quickly. "OOP! Wasn't supposed to say nothing!(hic)"

It took several more pints of liquor, but Gary was able to get the following: Wendy had a boyfriend she was trying to keep secret, Thompson didn't know anything about him save that he wasn't a student.

Gary couldn't really think of how this could save his plans...but at this point he was willing to try ANYTHING...

…...The Next Day...

It wasn't easy, but Gary managed to secretly follow Wendy. They were deep in the Gravity Fall forest...and Wendy was with someone!...and not just anyone...

Gary smiled triumphantly. _If this doesn't cause a war, I don't know what will!_ He thinks to himself as he takes a picture of a 12 year-old Dipper Pines making out with Wendy...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	184. Burn it to the ground

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher.**

...

Bill laughs as he and his newly-freed friends cause havoc across the globe

"This party never stops. Time is dead and meaning has no meaning. Existence is upside-down and I reign supreme. WELCOME, ONE AND ALL, TO WEIRDMAGEDDON!"

 **Well it's midnight, damn right, we're wound up too tight  
I've got a fist full of whiskey, the bottle just bit me**

8 Ball wads up people into a ball and uses them to bowl over the heads on Easter island

 **Oh  
That shit makes me bat shit crazy  
We've got no fear, no doubt, all in balls out**

Kryptos cackled as he turned Red Square into a pinball game...with all the inhabitants still trapped inside...

 **We're going off tonight  
To kick out every light  
Take anything we want  
Drink everything in sight  
We're going till the world stops turning  
While we burn it to the ground tonight**

Xanthar tipped over cows, people, chicken...Nuclear power plants...

 **Oh  
We're screaming like demons, swinging from the ceiling  
I got a fist full of fifties, tequila just hit me**

Teeth went over to the African rain forest, opened it's mouth...And stared at it until the whole thing shriveled up and died!

 **Oh  
We got no class, no taste, no shirt, and shit faced  
We got it lined up, shot down, firing back straight crown**

After Keyhole tramples the Colosseum, reaches into it's mailbox, tears off the stamps, and shoves them back in the mailbox. He has a good chortle over it...

 **We're going off tonight**  
 **To kick out every light**  
 **Take anything we want**  
 **Drink everything in sight**  
 **We're going till the world stops turning**  
 **While we burn it to the ground tonight**

Hectorgon staples several thousand girls together and takes the bloody mess as a wife

 **Oh  
Ticking like a time bomb, drinking till the nights gone  
Well get you hands off of this glass, last call my ass  
Well no chain, no lock, and this train won't stop  
We got no fear, no doubt, all in balls out**

Amorphous Shape has a "who can melt the most faces with the loudest belch" contest with Pyronica

 **We're going off tonight  
To kick out every light  
Take anything we want  
Drink everything in sight  
We're going till the world stops turning  
While we burn it to the ground tonight**

Pacifier sets off the super volcano under Yellowstone...then uses it as a jacuzzi...while eating Chinese food...made from real Chinese

 **Oh  
We're going off tonight  
To kick out every light  
Take anything we want  
Drink everything in sight  
We're going till the world stops turning  
While we burn it to the ground tonight **

Bill takes the moon, freezes it and puts it in his drink.

 _I could get used to this..._

...…...

 **TO BE CONTINUED?**

 **The song is 'Burn it to the ground' by Nickleback.**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	185. A pig or a friend? 3

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher.**

...responses...

RasenganFin: Yep, and Dipper too!

Gamelover41592: thank you

...

 **AN: this story is a gift to** **RasenganFin for doing my 'shake up the falls' story challenge.**

...

Wendy and Dipper took a break from gaming to eat pizza, and then Wendy noticed it. "Huh, never saw that game before. Sure enough, there was a large new game called 'Naked and Afraid'.

Dipper rolled his eye's, "Great another over-emphasis on 'sex-sells'...like there wasn't enough of that already." Wendy chuckles, "Yeah...what do you want to bet that the only nudity is a 5-second shot of a man's rear?"

Dipper smirks, "I bet the only nudity is a bunch of- (shudder) -naked zombies or something equally hideous." "Your on!" Shouts Wendy.

They both go up, select players, and put in their coins-

 **ZAP!**

-And immediately get zapped into the game. "YES!" Shouts Mable as she jumps out from hiding, "And now Wendy and Dipper are away on a romantic trip!"

GiFfany, appeared on the screen, "Yes...more or less, that is what's happening." She stated evasively.

...

"Wha- WHERE AMI!? WHY AM I IN A SECURITY ROOM!? AND WHERE THE BLOOD ARE MY CLOTHES!?" Sure enough...Wendy was naked and alone in a dark security room...light coming from nothing but the flickering security monitors...full of discarded pizza boxes, lost children shoes...and anamatronics...anamatronics that were heading right for her!?

"OH, frack my life. Groaned Wendy.

...Meanwhile...

Dipper was shocked to find himself at what appeared to be a high school...but even more so to find himself NAKED! Dipper blushed as he covered himself, "This is literally my worse nightmare." He admitted out-loud.

Suddenly a screen appeared;

 **OBJECTIVE: Convince Giffany to give you clothes without revealing nudity**

Dipper groaned as the HUB map points to a pretty teenage girl with pink hair, "and now it's WORSE then my worse Nightmare...

...

Wendy screamed as she slammed the axe into the foxy pirate-thing's face, she then kicked the bear's head off, which then sailed through the air. Knocking the balloon boy out of the air and crashing in a shower of sparks.

The manager walks in to open up the door, and gaps at the destroyed anamatronics. "Destroying anamtronics voids your paycheck, and means immediate termination, pack your-

 **CRACK!**

The manager goes down with a kick to the groin as Wendy then steals his wallet...which then immediately goes into her inventory.

...

Giffany sighs, she was currently focusing 85% of herself toward focusing on Dipper- it was adorable, him trying to get to her without anyone seeing him in the buff...and constantly failing. His...'shortcoming' was a bit disappointing...but that didn't make him any less cute!

In any case, she'd assumed that 15% would be enough to kill her 'competition' (i.e. Wendy.) But it looks like she'd have to take it up a notch...

"Hey! Giffany, right?" Giffany smirked as Dipper held up a bunch of boxes in front to hide his modesty from her, she quickly stalked toward him...eager to begin the game anew..while also sending an extra 15% toward killing Wendy...

...

Wendy suddenly found herself elsewhere...still naked in a desolate, empty room with nothing but a trap door inside...

 **And so The voice told Wendy's mom, 'You've done well...but you must prove your conviction. Your daughter is tainted by evil, kill her!**

 **'Of course my lord', agreed her mother, she takes a butcher knife and heads for her room, Wendy, hearing her footsteps, flees down the trapdoor-**

 **CRACK!**

The insane woman is whacked on the back of the head by Wendy who instead of listening to the weird voice, had instead hid at the side of the door and waited to strike. The rather obtuse and out of shape woman was easily clocked out and Wendy quickly took her wallet, pushed her down the trapdoor and locked it before she could recover.

"Never was good at following instructions", she quips as the game glitches out around her.

...

Giffany turned away annoyed, she was currently swimming in the high-school pool and Dipper was covering his modesty with an inner-tube rubber duck to swim out to her to beg for clothes once more. She wanted to enjoy THAT not worry about some red-headed skank!

Becoming impatient, she diverts 45% more of her processing power to FINALLY kill that hussy.

...

A still naked Wendy watches above as a blind monster with a large head and even longer arms drags a metal crate across the catwalk above her.

Wendy glares, immediately recognizing the game she's in. "Frack this." She says bluntly. She goes over to the wall of the Maw, and unscrews bolts with her fingernails or smashes through the weak rust...until a hole is made letting the ocean in...

Wendy quickly stands aside from the rupture and watches as the ocean quickly fills up the chasm below, and then just doggy paddles as the water level reaches her and floats to the top...

...

Now Giffany was REALLY annoyed, for some reason Dipper wasn't doing his usual antics! Worse, that bimbo was about to crash ANOTHER game! Impatient to get this over with, Giffany sent 99% of her processing power to kill Wendy.

"Let's see how you like Darksouls tramp!" Shouts Giffany happily-

 **BOOM!**

Giffany feels all of the academy shake, she turns just in time to see the massive explosion...breaking down into pixels!? Giffany paled, Dipper had deliberately caused a massive explosion! And the resolution of the game couldn't format it! It was crashing! Worse, she'd already rerouted most of her processing power out of the this game! Her core processor was vulnerable!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO$^#% #%$ #^#$^%&%$&%^#^#^$# %$ #%$ !" She screamed as her systems crashed utterly...

...

Meanwhile, Wendy was floating outside the Maw...jumping from one bloated and floating Guest corpse to another, picking their massive pockets of valuables and putting them in her inventory...she'd managed to pick at least a hundred when the game finally crashed completely.

...

Finally, Wendy and dipper were back int he real world outside the smoking carcass of the game...naked.

"Hey, Giffany! How much longer will it take for you to get Wendy and Dipper together? I'm getting kinda bored- GAH! DIPPER COVER YOURSELF!" Shouts Mable horrified as she walks in.

...Dipper did no such thing, ordinarily he and Wendy would probably be mortified by their current situation...except they were too busy being furious...they cracked their knuckles as they advanced on the still oblivious Mable who had her eyes covered...

...

A bruised, battered and naked Mable groaned on the floor. Wendy groaned as Mable's pants and under-shirt were a tight fit...but better then nothing. She then picked up all the valuables that had materialized with her into the real world.

"Bowling?" She asked.

"Bowling." Agreed Dipper as he tied Mable's sweater around his waist as they walked out together...

...…...

 **TO BE CONTINUED?**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	186. Shinobi Falls 3

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher.**

...responses...

ImperialStar: Sorry, but Giffany ain't getting any...well, maybe from Mcskirmish...

Wicked.A: Their was also 'little nightmares' and basically Giffany's game. I meant that instead of immediately going to her to try to beg for clothes while trying- and failing- to hide his nudity like the last hundred playthroughs...he'd buggered off to somewhere else...in this case sabotaging the furnace.

Gamelover41592: I know!

NyaNyaKittyFace: 1. That's...one way to look at it. 2. Wait, I get the hate behind Twilight. But what's wrong with Hellsing? 3. that's why I merged them. 3. Oh, her mother will have a thing or two to say. 4. To be fair, it was a particularity LARGE bear. 5. Okkkkay...might I ask why? Unless your Mable, then I can understand. 6. Yep. 7. I thought that was implied?

...

 **AN: This story is a reward to the Howling Behemoth**

...

The Corduroy Clan had a long tradition as lumberjacks, their rise as a ninja clan started when patriarch Archibald Corduroy- having been assigned by harashima Senju to clean up his training ground of his battle trees -in a moment of curiosity took some clippings of said Mokuton tree and took them home to study...after several months he used what he learned from his findings to figure out a way to pump chakra into plants to mutate them and give them sentience.

This allowed them to create a wide variety of 'Ninja-plants' that once properly trained would be unquestioningly loyal to their master and fight to the death, although more difficult to control then Mokuton plants, and less mobile then Inuzuka war dogs...once properly trained, they made a great defense-system. Which would make ANYONE extremely wealthy...

Or it would've made the Corduroy family wealthy...if not for the Northwests. See, the Northwest patriarch Nathaniel had rented Archibald a house/land grant with a fairly affordable price...not realizing that a hidden clause in the contract he signed also gave him permission to jack up the price whenever he wanted or demand compensation in other ways- like 75% of all the money he made on his ninja-plant patents?

Fortunately, they made so much money that the Corduroys could still live comfortably...but their still existed great animosity between them and the Northwests.

But none of this mattered to Wendy at the moment, she was too busy worrying about her upcoming 'talk' with her father. She just nodded to the Pea-shooters and Cherrybombs that guarded her compound doors. They nodded back and gave the signal for the sunflowers inside to work the pedals to move the gate and the tall-nuts out of the way so Wendy could enter the compound-

Wendy sighed as her mind wanders, _"I wonder if I at least have time for a snack before I have to-_

WENDY! NO SNACKS! GET YOUR BUTT IN HERE!

Wendy groans as she nods and follows the voice-

...

On top of Wendy's allowance and payments now being redirected into the family coffers until her debt- plus interest -is paid...she also needed to do more chores around the compound.

She basically had NO free time between being a sensei and doing EXTRA chores around the compound...it sucked.

...Still...life went on...Wendy gives her team the Chakra Induction Paper; Mable was fire, Pacifca lightning, Dipper is earth. She gives them some basic elemental attacks to practice.

Meanwhile...she uses the paper on herself. Yes, so great was Wendy's laziness before that she never bothered to learn her elemental type...but now with her whole 'hold Dipper back' plan in shambles...and the VERY real threat of Dipper- and the others -dying at the chunnin exam...she'd already resolved to tell Dipper the truth if it meant keeping him from dying...but in the meantime...she was hopping to make them tough enough to survive without having to resort to that! But to do so, she needed to study as well!

 _"Am I seriously making myself study more? Gah! I hate my life recently!"_ She then tried to funnel chakra into the paper...she waited...and then...nothing...

Wendy groaned, "Great, on top of everything. I'm stuck with defective paper!" She throws it aside annoyed and storms off...and so...she dosen't see the paper freeze over...

...Later...

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU NARUTO!" Screams Dipper as he chases said prankster across the village...behind them hundreds of men were getting nosebleeds from Mable's 'Harem jutsu'...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	187. Imperial idea: ImperialStar

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...Response...

RasenganFin: What? What's wrong?

Gamelover41592: ...thanks?

The Howling Behemoth: glad you like it! And here's hoping I can figure out what they do as well!

...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher  
**

...

"Up-next, a boring christian song/infomercial." Says the TV

"KIDS! SOMETHING BORING IS coming on, my remote is missing and I refuse to get up!" Shouts Stan from his chair...but his cries go unanswered...and the song beings...

"KIDS!" Shouted Stan desperately...but it was too late...

...

 **I am a soldier of father and son**  
 **I am a soldier of his holy spirit**  
 **I am a soldier of voice and trumpet**  
 **alleluia, soldier of war**

 **I'm a soldier**  
 **(Amen)**  
 **soldier of christ**  
 **very well armed**  
 **and protected**  
 **I bring my sword**  
 **double-edged**  
 **Well your word**  
 **I carry with me**  
 **and I am a soldier**

 **I am a soldier of father and son**  
 **I am a soldier of his holy spirit**  
 **I am a soldier of voice and trumpet**  
 **alleluia, soldier of war**

 **hey, I'm a soldier**  
 **(Amen)**  
 **I fight in cities**  
 **against darkness**  
 **and powers**  
 **I am a soldier**  
 **of testimony**  
 **I hate snakes**  
 **and I tie demons**  
 **in the name of Christ, I am**

 **I am a soldier of father and son**  
 **I am a soldier**  
 **I am a soldier of his holy spirit**  
 **and you are a soldier**  
 **I am a soldier of voice and trumpet**  
 **Oh oh**  
 **alleluia, soldier of war**  
 **how!...**

 **hey, I'm a soldier**  
 **(Amen)**  
 **militia man**  
 **with the breastplate**  
 **of his justice**  
 **I am a soldier**  
 **I am an anointed**  
 **I break bonds**  
 **of the enemy**  
 **in the name of Christ, I am**

 **I am a soldier of father and son**  
 **I am a soldier**  
 **I am a soldier of his holy spirit**  
 **and you are a soldier**  
 **I am a soldier of voice and trumpet**  
 **eh eh**  
 **alleluia, soldier of war**  
 **ho!...**

 **[improv.]**

 **I'm soldier**  
 **I am a soldier**  
 **I'm soldier**  
 **you are a soldier**  
 **I am a soldier of father and son**  
 **you see**  
 **I'm soldier**  
 **very well armed**  
 **I'm soldier**  
 **and protected**  
 **I am a soldier of his holy spirit**  
 **Again...**  
 **I'm soldier**  
 **I bring my sword**  
 **I'm soldier**  
 **double-edged**  
 **I am a soldier of father and son**  
 **but I tell you that I**  
 **I'm soldier**  
 **your word**  
 **I'm soldier**  
 **I bring with me**  
 **I am a soldier of his holy spirit**

 **take your sword well**  
 **(Amen)**  
 **victory is ours**  
 **give a war cry**  
 **a war cry [bis]**

 **I'm a soldier, oh ...**

 **I am a soldier of father and son**  
 **very well armed**  
 **I am a soldier of his holy spirit**  
 **and protected**  
 **I am a soldier of voice and trumpet**  
 **Oh oh**  
 **Alleluia, soldier of war**  
 **you see**

 **I am a soldier of father and son**  
 **I am a soldier**  
 **I am a soldier of his holy spirit**  
 **and you are a soldier**  
 **I am a soldier of voice and trumpet**  
 **eh eh**  
 **Alleluia, soldier of war**

...

"We hope you enjoyed our demonstration on plumbis cleaning steak-knives! Order now and you get a free air-freshener! Tune in next week when we discuss oral-hygiene glove cleaners!" Announced the host after the song ended.

"Well, that's an hour of my life I'm not getting back." States Stan.

"And now the poking people in the eyes show!" "NOW WERE TALKING!" Shouts Stan excited...

 **...…...**

 **TO BE CONTINUED?**

 **AN:** **the song is by Juan Luis Guerra. This song was given by '** **ImperialStar'**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	188. Resident Falls 3: ImperialStar

**Resident falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher** **, also available at Amazon and BarnesandNoble.**

...

 **AN: this story is a reward to ImperialStar for doing my 'Shake up the falls' story challenge.**

 **...**

-I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO! CLEAN UP THIS MESS BEFORE THE SITUATION ESCALATES! WE CONTROL THE MEDIA BUT EVEN THE PUBLIC WILL EVENTUALLY NOTICE AN EPIDEMIC! AND ABOVE ALL GET A SAMPLE OF BIRKINS WORK! WE LOSE IT, WE LOSE YEARS OF WORK!"

Shouts Albert Wesker into the phone, he then slams it back into it's holder. He growls, this was a disaster if the virus spread from racoon city...or WORSE knowledge of their responsibility of it got leaked to the public...No, he couldn't allow that! He'd worked too long and too hard for this!

He briefly considered going to Racoon City himself to make sure everything went smoothly...but dismissed that thought. If he's suspicions were correct...he'd soon have all he needed for 'Project Zodiac' to be complete! He'd finally gain his life-long ambition!

Speaking of which...he was now getting a text message from security that his niece and nephew have arrived. Alex quickly went over his files on both of them.

Dipper...Dipper had potential, above average intelligence, VERY mature for his age...BELOW average in social skills- but he had an idea how that could be fixed soon enough -More importantly, he was ambitious, Eager to prove himself...and adored him and the Umbrella corporation. Yes, he could make use of that.

...As for Mable...Wellllll...although she scored above average in Social skills and arts...she was below average in everything else...worse, her psychological profile suggested she was basically a co-dependent unintentionally forcing Dipper into being an enabler. Even more annoying was that she was on the 'watch-list'. Thanks to Umbrella owning the internet, it was a simple matter to find out that Mable was constantly going to environmentalist sites(half of which were secretly owned by Umbrella to either monitor potential malcontents, or radicalize one's into terrorist actions thus demonizing their cause further in the eyes of the world) that were against Umbrella's industrialization efforts...

No...it didn't seem like Mable would be of much use to him at all... Quickly putting those thoughts aside, he put on his 'beloved family member' persona and call in the twins to his office...

...

"Now I hope you both understand...I have to keep a distance from you, both because of my numerous responsibilities AND because this school is full whinners that'll moan to their parents about 'favoritism' or some such rot. But I will try to make time for you whenever I can." He says to the twins.

Dipper nodded, "Don't worry Gruncle Albert! I won't need special treatment! I'll prove to you I can handle anything you can throw at me!"

Wesker smirks, "That's my boy." He gives him an affectionate rub on the head.

Mable chuckled nervously, "Uh, actually...if you happen to be giving away some perks- "In any case, here's your schedules, school leaflets, room numbers and room key cards!" Interrupts wesker.

The two take them..and frown. ""Uh...Gruncle Wesker? I think you made a mistake...we've been placed in different rooms, classrooms...and buildings." Pointed out Dipper confused.

"What? Let me see that!" Demanded Wesker, he takes a look at this and groans. "Oh, for the love of- That tears it, I'm firing my secretary! This is the fifth time she's messed something like this up!"

He sighs as he shakes his head, "Right...I can't do anything immediately, the school is overbooked at the moment. I THINK I can get you two back in the same room at least...but it'll take a couple weeks. Think you can hold out until then?"

Dipper frowned, He didn't really like being away from Mable...but he didn't want to seem unreasonable to Gruncle Wesker. "Sure thing, Gruncle Wesker. I'm sure we can last that long...right Mable?"

Mable was suddenly even more uncomfortable, she liked being away from Dipper even LESS...but now she was suddenly on the spot...with both of them staring at her expectantly. "Wellll...I guess if it's only for a couple weeks-

"Good, then it's settled!" Exclaimed Wesker before she could say anything else an quickly hurried them away...when they were gone, he smirked. "Time for you to get a taste of reality my dear girl." He says to himself...

...

"Sphinx of black quartz, judge my vow, Jackdaws love my big sphinx of quartz, Pack my box with five dozen liquor jugs,The quick onyx goblin jumps over the lazy dwarf, Cwm fjord bank glyphs vext quiz." Says Dipper as he repeats the panagrams into the vocal analyzer.

 **Your vocal patterns are now registered into security.** Announces the computer. Dipper whistles appreciatively, "So high-tech." While heading up through the swanky looking corridor. He looks through the leaflet. "For the first week...you'll be allowed into your room no problem...but afterwards you must solve an increasingly more difficult series of fetch-quest/puzzles to get back in! This is to test your dexterity, intellect, and cunning." Dipper smiles, this was awesome!

Once inside...Dipper was floored! It was a deluxe suite! This was better then awesome! And the the naked blonde his own age walked out of the shower. Dipper froze up, _"Better then awesome."_ He thinks to himself before quickly averting his eyes! "I'M SORRY! I SHOULD'VE KNOCKED!" He shouted flusterd as he braced for a beating.

Pacifica Northwest smirked, she'd paid someone outside to tell her when Dipper was about to enter..and deliberately took a quick shower just for this...his uncle had told him to work on his 'social skills' after all-

"What? You expecting me to beat you up like some cliched anime Tsundere? Accidents happen, if anyhting it's my fault for not wearing a towel or wearing a note...besides, were roomates for the summer by the look of it...might as well get used to seeing each other like this." She teased as she continued to stand their unashamed.

Dipper gulped at that. " _I hope Mable is having as good a time as me! I also wonder if Mable will be willing to extend our separation...?"  
_

...

 _"Huh...bit more rustic then I was expecting."_ After saying the panagrams into the security system, she walked into what looked like a dilapidated warehouse...filled with rats... Mable tried to shrug it off, _"Whatever...think positive Mable! You heard your Gruncle! Just need to stick it out for a couple weeks and you'll be back with Dipper and ready to...get VERY bored...but you'll be bored with Dipper! And that's what matters!"_ She said to herself desperately.

"May I have your bag, wallet and Sweater madam?" Asked a Jeeves-like man. Mable smiles, "Finally, some service!" She shouts. She hands them over to him- And he shoves her down! "HA! I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT WORKED!" Shouted the thief as he ran away.

Mable tried to run after him...but he was gone. Mable groaned as she walked to her door...trying very hard not to cry, "This couldn't possibly get worse..." She moaned as she opened the door...

And saw three boys completely naked in a rat eaten room that was broiling! Jaden Yuki, Syrus Truesdale, Chumley Huffington quickly covered themselves and screamed, as did a flusterd Mable while covering her eyes-

 **GAH!**

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	189. Fall of Grim Tales 5: ImperialStar

**Fall of Grim Tales**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon and Barnseandnoble.**

 **...Responses...**

 **ImperialStar: Thank you  
**

 **Wicked.A: 1: yep 2: Because in this, Naruto's crushing on Mable not Sakura. 3: ad lib mostly  
**

 **RasenganFin: Thank you  
**

 **Gamelover41592: thank you  
**

 **Pat: Talk to Imperial, he's the one bankrolling this.  
**

 **ImperialStar: Coming up right now buddy! Enjoy!  
**

 **...**

 ** **AN: this story is a reward to ImperialStar for doing my 'Shake up the falls' story challenge.****

 **...**

Dipper was naked...he wasn't quite sure why he was naked...he'd been hugging a crying Minnie...and she started to remove her clothes...and told him to do likewise...embarrassed and uncomfortable because of her crying...he complied.

He blushed at the sight of her 'mosquito bites'...and she couldn't help but look at his 'two sesame seeds and one raisin' with... _interest_. So much interest, she tosses their clothes out the window!

"HEY!" Shouts Dipper mortified, they were in the attic. To get more clothes he'd have to go downstairs -PASSED- the several cute girls now living here! Frantic, Dipper ran passed Minnie- who'd been leaning down for a kiss.

Dipper, focused on getting his clothes, ignored everything else and tried to fish his clothes from the tree. Leaning out of the window as far as he could.

Minnie blinked, _"He...rejected me?"_

 **BAM!**

Suddenly Dipper finds his rear kicked, and him tumbling out of the window-

 **CRASH!**

-Right onto a rose bush...

Minnie huffs out annoyed, and slams the window shut. Dipper groans as he drags his body out... _"How can I survive ALL of them ? I can barely survive one of them!"_

It's then he hears noise from the front, with no other choice, he covers himself and runs into the woods...

...

Wendy frowns, did she just see Dipper- She shakes her head, _"The sun's getting to you girl, even with this parasol protecting you."_ She decides as she hurriedly heads inside...

...

Meanwhile, the Mystery Shack was doing a record business...two cute naked girls tended to do that. "Come on! Can't I at least give them an apron! Or- or SOMETHING! This- this is just uncomfortable!"

The underworld lawyer just smirked, "I'd figured you'd be happy...aren't you doing record sales right now?"

Stan glared, "Look pal, I'm no saint- there's a reason I value that 'get out of damnation free' card so highly -I've done some shady and even downright despicable things!...but I don't do- he gestures uncomfortably to the two naked underage girls -THAT." He said finally. The lawyer could do nothing but shrug

Fortunately, Mable was running interference for the girls. Doing all that she could to keep them from exposing themselves too much. Chi see's her doing this and comes to the 'obvious' conclusion: "Listen, I appreciate what your doing and I'm flattered, but I'm into someone else." She says bluntly.

Mable looks at her confused, "Wha- No! I'm helping you because it's the right thing!" She states flatly.

Chi looks at her skeptically, "Okay...but what's in it for you?" Sh asks again.

Mable looked at her confused, "Can't a person be nice just to do the right thing? No strings attached?" She asked confused. To this, both Chi and Pacifica burst out laughing.

"(snort) Oh, mercy...I needed that." Said Chi. "(Giggle) Made my day." Admitted Pacifica. Before Mable could retort-

 **WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU THREW HIM OUT THE WINDOW!?**

Everyone turned to see Wendy yelling and strangling a naked Minnie. Quickly they pulled them apart and learned what happened.

"What was he doing with her naked!?" Shouted Chi irritably. Wendy gives her a look, "Really? THAT'S the priority for you? Not the fact that Dipper was locked naked outside!?"

Chi scoffed, "How do we know he didn't do something unsavory and deserves this?" Wendy glares, "Yeah, I'll take my chances giving Dipper the benefit of the doubt." She said sarcastically.

Chi looked at her in disbelief, "You'd believe a BOY over your fellow female?" She asked aghast. "You mean believe my FRIEND over a crazy girl I've only known a couple of days?! Blood yes I will!"

Chi just looks at her strange, "Your weird." She says finally.

Seeing Wendy about to blowup, Stan quickly stepped in. "Look, bottom line: Dipper is lost in the woods nude? Let's go find the yutz then!" He says quickly. Wendy's rage dissipates as she dose just that.

Pacifica and Chi groan, "Do we have to?"

Stan shrugs, "I'll give you a bonus on your next paycheck. Enough to buy clothes. It's up to you." He says flatly as he leaves to help with the search...followed quickly by the two reluctant girls...

...

Meanwhile, Dipper was slowly sneaking his way up to a gathering of Man-itour...he needed to steal one of those loincloths fast! He reaches for one-

 **BOOM!**

Everyone turns to see a crazy skeleton boy wielding a scythe running into the room- "WHERE IS HE!? WHERE'S THE PERVERT WHO KIDNAPPED MY SISTER FOR HIS HAREM!?"Screamed Junior as he sliced a phallic-shaped boulder in two.

Dipper gulped as he covered his privates...

 **...**

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	190. A pig or a friend 4: RasenganFin

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher.**

...responses...

RasenganFin: I have no idea either...

The Howling Behemoth: Not yet...also thank you

ImperialStar: Don't count Dipper out yet.

Wicked.A: 1: yes. 2. Not a clue

...

 **AN: This chapter is a gift to RasenganFin for doing my 'shake up the falls' challenge.**

...

Summerween; a time of terror, pure evil and twin costumes! ...or at least...it used to be... Mable groaned, "Oh, Waddles! My plan backfired! Wendy and Dipper are more mad at me then ever!"

Waddles said nothing...he just went back to eating the costume Mable made him wear. Mable frowned at this, but continued. "Okay, in hindsight trusting an A.I. I found at a bargain store at the mall MAY not have been the best idea...but it's the thought that counts!...Right?"

Waddles says nothing...he just wanders off, seemingly not even aware of Mable's existence. Mable glares at him as she forces him back onto her bed.

"Okay Waddles, not to point fingers...but I kinda landed myself in this situation for YOUR sake...the least you could do is show SOME support for me!"

Waddles responds by crapping all over her bed...

...

"Gummy chairs? Really?" Asks Dipper annoyed, he's about to toss the loser candy outside...when he hears a knock on the door. Stopping what he was doing he walks over to it and opening it...and smiles to see Wendy.

"Hey Dipper, Tambry is throwing a teen party tonight and I'd appreciate it if my favorite guy was there at my side!" She exclaimed happily.

Dipper happily accepts the invite and continues to talk to Wendy...the loser candy lying in it's bowl forgotten...oblivious to the drama both it and Dipper was just spared from...

...

Deciding to just head to the party early with Wendy to avoid Mable's tantrum for him refusing to go with her to trick or treat, Dipper and Wendy head inside just as tambry makes an announcement:

"Alright, guys. Bad news, we had to cancel spin the bottle because the 'moral guardians' didn't like it." She groused while everyone else 'booed'. Then she smirked, so instead were playing SPIN THE MOLTOV COCKTAIL!"

Everyone roars with approval...well except Robbie, who noticed Wendy and Dipper coming in together. _"Stupid kid...making time with MY girl?! We'll I'll show him!"_

"Hey everybody! Want to see a trick!?" Shouts Robbie. Everyone turns to him as he tries to do the poprocks and cola...and nothing happens.

"That was as weak as your love life!" Shouts Thompson. "Dude, even Thompson is cooler then you right now! That's just sad man!" Shouts Nate.

While Robbie is slinking away in shame, Dipper steps up curious. "Dude...these aren't poprocks, these are Gummy koalas! How's you mix those up?" While everyone laughs at Robbie, Dipper mixes them up properly...as well as his own 'special' blend.

 _"Right...dwarf perfume, gnome nose hair, fairy sock. Annnd-_

 **BOOM!**

Everyone gaped amazed as mini-fireworks shoot from the concoction, "HOORAY PROFESSOR FUN TIME!" Everyone cheers him on...Wendy included.

Robbie seethes, blind by anger he throws the nearest thing at Dipper! Only to pale as he realizes it's a moltov cocktail! "Oh, boy." Moans Robbie as he pictures a '9-to-5' cell waiting for him in his future-

"DIPPER LOOK OUT!" Shouts Wendy as she jumps in front of him and smacks the cocktail backward with a pool que...right back at Robbie.

"Oh, shi-

 **BOOM!**

 **...**

Meanwhile, things weren't looking so great for Grunkle Stan...on top of cleaning out Mable's sheets...he had to consul a sobbing Mable...AND scare a couple of kids who just won't firghten!"

Finally, Stan rolls his eyes. "FINE! Take all the dang candy! Who cares!? Not me!" Lies Stan as he goes to wash off his 'shame'. The kids then go to look at their prize. "What the? Adequate bars? Gummy Chairs? Black licorice? This is all loser candy! LAME!"

They shout as they throw it all into a puddle...right in front of a foreboding figure with a weird mask and a scarecrow hat...

...

Dipper sighed as he and Wendy walked back to the shack, "Well that was a bust." Wendy shrugged, "Eh, better then last year. At least the firemen remembered to bring Beer this time..."

Suddenly they had to step aside as two boys are chased by a foaming mass of loser candy, "Wow, the costumes are REALLY good this year!" Shouts Wendy impressed. Dipper shrugs, "Eh, you could easily see the strings." "Oh, whatever!" Snarks Wendy as they both walk into the shack.

Stan in his bathrobe is looking around, "where'd those bratty kids go...HA! I knew I'd scare them off eventually!" He deluded himself smugly.

Dipper frowned, "Did you try and wash away your shame again?" Stan refused to make eye contact, "Uh...no." He lied lamely. Wendy shrugs as she eats a candy bar that Dipepr gave her-

"HEY THAT'S MY LAST CHOCOLATE BAR!" Suddenly Wendy finds the air knocked out of her by a 200 pound ball of estrogen and yarn...I.e. Mable...

Dipepr tries to intervene with the ensuing catfight when Stan pulls him away, "Kid, NEVER get involved in a girl fight...just sit back...stay out of it...and sell the videos and pictures at exorbitant prices..."

 **And so we've learned the true meaning of Summerween...making up another holiday to make money for small businesses! Good night everybody!**

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	191. A pig or a friend? 5: RasenganFin

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

ImperialStar: sounds about right...

Gamelover41592: 1. Thank you. 2. (shrug) Beats me man, I'm just following the story outline that RasenganFin gave me

RasenganFin: I tried to look up some REAL pop rock tricks to do...but my computer clunked out on me, then I had to rewrite the chapter when it failed to save..afterwhich I just gave up(It didn't help that I was getting sleepy) and Ad-libed. In any case, thanks for the chapter idea, enjoy!

...

Dipper groaned and watched helplessly as two girls in his life beat each other up and down. Although Wendy had the advantage in strength and size, Mable was quicker and more vicious...

Stan suddenly groaned, "Dang it. The baterry died, update me on the highlights I'm going to get more." Dipper sighed but nodded, he turned back to watch the fight-

 **RIP!**

-and got an eyeful of Wendy's now exposed chest! Her shirt ripped and her bra popping clean off! Although technically having seen it before, Dipper tried to be a gentleman and look away-

 **BAM!**

-Sadly this meant that he didn't see a furious Wendy's retaliatory punch knocking Mable in his direction-

 **WHAM!**

Causing him to crash right into a nearby Drawer...it spilled it's contents of party darklight's as Journal 3 was knocked from Dipper's grasp. Dipper groaned as the world kept spinning and the girls kept fighting...then he saw it.

"GIRLS! STOP FIGHTING! LOOK WHAT I'VE FOUND!" The girls (reluctantly) stopped and headed over...

When Grunkle Stan returned, Dipper simply tells him that the fight is over and he missed the best part. Stan grumbles but leaves...

Dipper turns to the girls, "Okay...I'll take you girls to go see the Authors Bunker in the next couple of days...but you have to promise me to stop fighting okay?"

The girls groaned, but agreed. They then start getting ready for their next GRAND adventure...

...much later..

 _"We'll that could've gone better."_ Thought Mable to herself. They'd gotten tot he bunker alright...then they almost got crushed by a weird, glowy symbol trap thing. She'd tried to laugh it off...only to get yelled at by Wendy for 'not taking the situation seriously enough'.

This had irritated Mable, so she thought she'd prank Wendy by knocking her into a locker and locking it...unfortunately she'd accidentally locked Dipper in as well...which naturally angered them both.

Mable tried to salvage the situation by trying to make Dipper confess his feelings to Wendy...which only made them madder! Sooo...Mable decide to leave them in until they 'cooled off'...and less likely to hit her...

...which turned out to be a bad idea, as it almost made them die at the hands of a shape-shifting monster!

...Naturally, they were ticked at her.

Mable chuckled nervously, "Well...at last Dipper confessed his feeling's to Wendy...that's good...right?" She asked in a desperate attempt to find a silver lining...

 **BAM!**

...Which was not appreciated...

"WE NEARLY DIED WHILE YOU GOOFED OFF! WHY CAN'T YOU TAKE THINGS SERIOUSLY!?"

Shouted a sobbing Wendy over a now black-eyed Mable...she then runs home...

Dipper looks back and forth between Mable and Wendy...before running after Wendy... _"Dipper...no."_ Whimpered a now sobbing Mable...

...

...Dipper walks in on Wendy...lying on her bed...sobbing... Dipper sighed, "Wendy...I'm terrible at this...do you want to talk about it...or...or what? Whatever you want to do I'll do it."

Wendy sighed. "Mable...she makes me so furious! She just...throwing me under the bus because of her stupidity...it(sniff)...it brings up bad memories..."

And before Wendy knew it...she was telling Dipper EVERYTHING...

How her mom was leaving a bachelorette party with her best friend since grade school...when they got mugged, her 'friend' pushed her into the Mugger and ran...she didn't even check to see if she was okay! ...and she wasn't. The shocked mugger accidentally let a shot off from his gun...straight through her heart...killed her almost instantly...

Her dad...her dad's not good at this stuff...so when his little girl is hurting emotionally he just sits down and cries cause he can't do anything for her...

And Mable...Every time Mabel tries inconveniencing Dipper... Wendy is reminded of her mom... and it breaks her heart.

...not knowing what else to do with his now emotionally vulnerable friend...who basically says 'I don't want to be alone Dipper'. He gets into her bed offering her a hug and a shoulder to cry on. Dipper briefly thinks of Dan coming in and seeing them like this and going Papa wolf on him...but decides if he's going to die comforting Wendy that's a good way to die and comforts her and they cuddle to sleep, in their clothes, no shoes though. Who sleeps in their shoes besides army solders?

...

Dipper marches into the Mystery Shack annoyed. Mable looks up to him, "Hey Bro-br-

 **SMACK!**

Mable gaps at her NEW bruised eye, "Dipper! Why- "SHUT UP!" Snapped Dipper. "It was bad enough you meddled in my personal life- AGAIN! But to do so at the WORST possible time...For crying out loud Mable, if the fact we were in a creepy underground bunker wasn't a big enough tip-off that then wasn't a good time to goof off THEN THE SCREAMING METAL DEATH-TRAP THAT NEARLY SQUISHED US SHOULD HAVE! GAH! WENDY IS RIGHT; WHY CAN'T YOU TAKE THINGS SERIOUSLY!?"

Mable was crying now... "B-but Dipper... "NO! I'M DONE WITH YOU MABLE! JUST STAY AWAY FROM ME AND WENDY! NEXT CHANCE I GET I'M GETTING MY OWN ROOM! I DON'T CARE IF I HAVE TO LIVE IN THE BUNKER! I'M GETTING MY OWN ROOM!"

Dipper marches away from a sobbing Mable...

...While Grunkle Stan just watches sorrowfully... _"It's happening again..."_

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	192. Alicorn Genesis

**Alicorn Genesis**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon and BarnesandNoble.**

...

 **AN: this chapter was collaborated by Wolvenstrom.**

...Responses...

RasenganFin: another good idea

Gamelover41592: eh, it varies.

...

With all her friends gathered around, Twilight Sparkle began to fix Starswirls spell... "A mark of one's destiny, singled out alone, fulfilled... Wait a second, that's it! I understand now! I know how to fix the spell" She began to add her own verse to it: " _From all of us together, together we're friends. With the marks of our destinies made one, there is magic without end!"_

...in many universes, this would be the moment that Twilight goes from student to princess, achieving the next step on her grand journey...this was not that universe.

For at the moment Twilight intoned the last bit of the spell... "Witttth...thhhe...maaaarks...

Twilight and time itself slowed to a crawl...none saw the intruder enter the room...a dark, tall, slender man with no face and impeccable business attire. He peeked over Twilight's shoulder and tsked.

 **"My, my...it's true...read the wrong way...this spell COULD be interpreted as several ponies power enslaved to one to help that ONE succeed."** He turned to the unsuspecting ponies...still frozen in time...and chuckled.

 **"Well...will just have to fix that, won't we?"** He rolls up his sleeves and gets to work 'fixing' the spell.

 **"Let's see...a pinch of Cerberus Retcon...a dash of Darker and edgier...and what the hey? Drown it down with some cosmic retcon as well!"**

His deed done, he turned invisible and silently observed as time speed up again-

...ooofff...ouur... _destinies made one, there is magic without end!"_ Finishes Twilight without missing a beat! The spell glowed...and EXPLODED! Enveloping the six of them and destroying the library! _  
_

...

Celestia was giddy! She couldn't wait for her star pupil to appear in the astral plane! She had a whole song prepared! She was so proud of her!

 **FLASH!**

 _"Ah, that must be her now!"_ Celestia smiles as she trots toward the noise. "Congratulations, Twilight. I knew you could- Who are you?!"

The human called Jack Harper simply looked around baffled, his oddly colored eyes danced in these strange new surroundings. "Well...this is new." He said finally...

Celestia knew then and there...that her plan had gone terribly wrong...

...

Twilight groaned as she woke up ...her friends scattered about amongst flaming debris, "Girls?" Asked Twilight groggily, then her eyes went wide...her tree...her library...her home...was ablaze...

Rainbow Dash...woke up next...and saw Twilight cry. "Twilight...what's- "My tree." Stated Twilight mournfully. "Wha?" "LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY TREE!" She shouted horrified.

Fortunately, Twilight quickly remembered what happened, and apologized to the girls for blaming them...they then comforted their sobbing friend.

Many residents walked over to see what all the commotion was about...in the dark of the night, they could tell the library was up in flames...but who was next to it...it almost looked like

"Princess Celestia?!" Twilight wiped away the tears and looked toward the pony who addressed her, "What? No, I'm Twilight Sparkle. Why would-

And then she sees everyone pointing at them...more importantly...they see WHERE their pointing...she had-

"WINGS!? I HAVE WINGS!?" Shouted Twilight in shock. Rainbow's eye's went wide, "Awesome! I get a new flying buddy!" She shouts as she reaches back to grab a camera from her pack-

"Ow! Watch where your leaning Rainbow! You nearly poked out my eye with your...horn?" Applejack trailed off as what she said hit home... A shocked Rainbow touched her forehead...and indeed found a horn!

"Whoa...non way!" She shouted.

Having enough of this stupid dark obscuring her vision, Twilight ignited her horn...revealing to Ponyville SIX new Alicorns...so naturally pandemonium ensued...

Pinkie screaming, "Alicorn party' didn't help either...

...

It took awhile to calm the residents and themselves down, but they- barely -managed to do that...just in time for an armed Pegasus escort to come down and escort them back to Canterlot. They were then asked to wait for the princess as she handled an urgent matter...

The Mane six were a bit overwhelmed...but Twilight's reassurances that Celestia would explain everything did wonders to clam everyone down. While they waited, twilight pulled out the latest book in her favorite series out-

"Oh, hey Twilight. You reading more Daring Do?" Asked Applejack.

Twilight smirked, but shook her head. "Nope, it's actually a new series I just got into, 'The Adventures of Stanford Pines'." She hugs the book affectionately, "it REALLY speaks to me...I think I've found my newest favorite book series!"

Rainbow rolled his eyes, "I've read that series...it's okay...for an egghead." She teased

Twilight glared, "Oh, do let me guess. Too much focusing on the rich academia side of archeology and puzzle solving and not enough gratuitous fight scenes?" She asked scathingly.

Rainbow shrugged, "Pretty much- But don't get me wrong, it has it's good points." She said quickly, seeing her friend get annoyed. "The fight scenes- although few and in between -are AWESOME and have easily made it into my top 10 fights. And the main villain- Bill Cipher? He's my favorite Villian hands down. Yeah, he's evil- but he dose it with such style you can't help but love him! Not to mention he's scarily competent and could run circles around those chumps Dr. Caballeron and Ahuizotl...if it weren't for the hero being a boring egghead, I'd definitely make it my new favorite."

Fortunately, before Twilight could fly into a tirade defending her favorite character-

"The princess will see you now!" Announced a guard! Silently Resolving to finish this 'discussion' later...Twilight and her friends walked out of the room...and into the throne room...

Their they found Celestia and Luna pawing over a strange device...and they did NOT look happy.

"Uh...Princess Celestia?" Asked Twilight. Celestia and Luna quickly went to attention as they saw who entered the room.

"Twilight! Girls! It's so wonderful to see you!" Shouts Celestia as she flew over to them and nuzzled them affectionately.

"Princess...I'm...I'm an alicorn! We all are!" Exclaims Twilight in disbelief.

Celestia smiles and nods..."Indeed you are...a most pleasant surprise indeed..." She then sighs, "If only all the news was so good..."

"Princess Celestia? What's wrong?" Asked Twilight concerned.

Celestia sighed, "I won't lie to you Twilight...this was a test, that you were supposed to pass and you alone was supposed to become an alicorn...for all your friends to become alicorns as well...I suspect interference from an outside force...and I fear they had less then altruistic motivations for doing so."

Twilight and her friends were floored by this...but before they ask more questions-

Celestia held up her hoof, "Please save your questions for that later, right now...we have another...'situation' that must be seen to. And must be seen to immediately."

"Situation? What do you mean?" Asks Twilight.

Celestia's horn glowed and a nearby mirror's surface warped and changed to show an image...an image of a strange hairless ape with oddly mismatched eyes waiting patiently in the palace dungeon...

The newly anointed princesses simply looked stunned, "What...what is he?" Asked Twilight confused.

"That...is a human." Stated Celestia sadly. Applejack's eye's widened, "A human? Like that loco Lyra keeps mooning over?" She asks.

"It would seem that in this case, the 'crazies' were right...humans DID exist. They existed BEFORE us...and now this one is all that's left."

Pinkie was naturally excited, "OH BOY! I'm going to have to dig into my party reserves! like REALLY, REALLY, REALLY dig deep! I'll need everything i can get my hands on to throw the biggest, 'Welcome back, glad your not extinct' party and-

"There's not going to be a party." Interpreted Celestia flatly, "This man has willingly turned himself in and confessed all his crimes, and waits to be judged."

Everyone looked at Celestia shocked... "Wha...what are his crimes?" Asked Twilight with confused dread...

Celestia stared down at the 'lap top' that the human had given her... "He murdered his entire species...to create us ponies..."

...

 **TO BE CONTINUED?**

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	193. Sunset Rises

**Sunset Rises**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon and BarnesandNoble.**

 **...**

 **AN: Inspired by** LordBrony2040

 **...**

"True magic comes from honesty, loyalty, laughter, generosity and kindness!" Shouts Sunset at the corrupted Twilight as she activated her strange device, filling her with magic.

Now in one universe, Sunset would triumph over Twilight, free her from corruption, save the world(again), and make another friend and they'd all go home happy...

This was not that universe...

...1 hour earlier...

At the nearby 'random building full of science junk corp.' an experimental anti-matter powered particle collider was going through the test phase. "Hey Bob, isn't it great how we can experiment on the forces of nature with no fear of consequence or disaster?" Asked the scientist to his co-worker happily.

Bob nodded gleefully, "I hear yah Frank! True, were dealing with dangerous stuff. But thankfully our thoughtful corporate masters have thought of everything! And spared no expense for safety! Nothing can possibly go wrong!" Then he chuckled, "Unless of course we were dumb enough to leave this bad-boy turned on when we went to go to lunch, and some 'magical' catastrophe happens to destabilize reality at the exact same time." He said sarcastically in good humor.

Frank snorted, "Yeah, what are the odds of that?" He teased. "Anyway, it doesn't matter. Since we ain't dummies, and were going to turn off this thing before we go to lunch." He pointed out.

Bob nodded, "Yeah...by the way. What should we do about those containers full of obsolete technology and newly discovered element Macguffin-ranium?" He points to said containers.

Frank shrugged, "Eh, who cares. The guy in marketing...'Chekhov G. Un', I think he said his name was? Sounds German- Anyway, he's confident that stuff like that will never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER significantly impact anyone's life in the future in any shape or form at all." He said confidently.

Bob shrugged, "Eh, your right. We'll just leave it for someone else to take- But enough dawdle, I'm hungry. Let's quickly input our codes to shut down the machine. I trust I don't need to remind you that we have to be the one's who do this. Since were the only one's who know said codes, and it's very important that we do so, not delay and are not suddenly killed before we input the very important codes...otherwise NOTHING will be able to shut down the machine."

Frank snorted dismissively, "Yeah, like we'd ever die! Especially only 3 days before retirement!"

They both nodded and began to input the code...only for someone to forward them a video. "Oh, neat! Let's immediately drop what were doing and watch it!" "Sure, why not? It's not like us doing so will have catastrophic consequences for the world or anything." He joked.

 **...Mal's whistle...**

Frank frowned, "I don't get it- Those were the last words he'd say before he and his friends heads were looped off at their shoulders by a tall man with no face, slender arms, and a business suite...

The thing (somehow) smirked as the now unsupervised particle collider reached critical mass...at the same time he sensed that reality was beginning to unhinge...

 **"Just one last thing to take care of."** He then fast forwarded one hour into the future...

...present...

Sunset gaped as the magical overloaded her body, starting to tear it down at the cellular level, She didn't understand how this all went wrong! She'd been seconds away from making everything right again! And then an explosion from the other side of town...just tore all of reality to pieces...her home...her friends...her world...all ripped to pieces...and soon she'd be gone too...

...pause...

Slenderman whistled Mal's theme as he grabbed the frozen time Sunset...and chucked her through the now very unstable and about to shatter portal to Equestria...an Equestria that was currently in throes of a time loop set in motion by a malevolent pink unicorn...

He (somehow)winked at the readers, **"I'm not coming back."** He explained as he himself winked out of existence...

...many years earlier...In Equestria...

On a lonely, dusty road in the middle of the night...a small, blue colt sadly trudged through the night. "She's gone...no one takes me seriously...and even if I survive that third rate cesspit I call a school and graduate...the diploma I get won't be worth the paper it's written on...maybe my sister, mom and dad are right...maybe I should just accept my lot in life...and just settle for a job at the fish factory-

 **BOOM!**

The colts eyes widened as two balls of fire streaked the heavens...one crashes in the palace of princes Celestia...the other...mere yards away from him...excited and full of curiosity...Dipper Pines ran happily to the crash site...completely unaware that his life- which in a universe that will no longer happen would've doomed an exceptional brilliant and unique colt to a life of mediocrity and anonymity -was about to change- (fingers crossed) -for the better...hopefully...

...

Oh, and apparently Princess Celestia is shocked to see her young apprentice enveloped by a- yada, yada, yada -fire ball falling from the sky, only to become older- blah, blah, blah -and an alicorn...but, meh, who cares?...

 **...**

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	194. A great big ClusterF---

**A great big ClusterF*****

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon and BarnesandNoble.**

...

A little earth pony filly named Applejack sadly sits in her relatives lavish Manehattan apartment and looks out the window... "I miss my family and the apple orchard..."

...

A young pegasus filly named Fluttershy, having just been knocked out of the Cloudsdale...was amazed at the wondrous ground...but also the cute critters that ran rampant...SHE JUST HAD TO SING!

 **What is this place Filled with so many wonders?**

 **Casting its spell That I am now under Squirrels in the trees**

 **And the cute little bunnies**

 **Birds flying free**

 **And bees with their honey**

 **Hooooonneeeeeeey!**

 **Oooh, what a magical place**

 **And I owe it all to the Pegasus race**

 **If I knew the ground had so much up its sleeve**

 **I'd have come here sooner, and never leave**

 **Yes, I love ev-er-ythiiiiing!**

...

A white and purple Unicorn filly named Rarity glared at the giant boulder that her spell had dragged her miles to find, "A ROCK?! That's my destiny?" She screamed annoyed...

...

A purple Unicorn filly named Twilight Sparkle grunted as she strained to make the dragon egg hatch to impress the examiners and win a place at Princess Celestia's school for gifted Unicorns...but she just...she just couldn't take the stress! And the egg...it just wouldn't hatch!

Finally...she just gave up. She turned to the examiners sadly, "I'm sorry to have wasted your time sir's..."

...

 _"There was no talking...no smiling...only rocks...There was no talking...no smiling...only rocks...There was no talking...no smiling...only rocks...There was no talking...no smiling...only rocks...There was no talking...no smiling...only rocks...There was no talking...no smiling...only rocks...There was no talking...no smiling...only rocks...There was no talking...no smiling...only rocks...There was no talking...no smiling...only rocks...There was no talking...no smiling...only rocks...There was no talking...no smiling...only rocks...There was no talking...no smiling...only rocks..._ _There was no talking...no smiling...only rocks..._ _There was no talking...no smiling...only rocks..."_

This was the depressing mantra that a sad pink Earth pony filly named Pinkie Pie thought as she toiled on her family's rock farm...what they actually DID with the rocks when 'harvested'...I doubt even they know...

...

A Rainbow and Blue Pegasus filly named Rainbow Dash was having the time of her life! The adrenaline, the speed...this was LIVING! And she was only getting faster! And faster! And Faster! And faster! And-

 **BOOM!**

...

And like that...the rainboom traveled all across Equestria...giving Rainbow her Cutie mark...and inspiring 5 others to do likewise...

...

Applejack ran home to reunite with her family...

...

Fluttershy calmed down the frightened animals and discovered her innate ability to communicate with animals on 'different levels'

...

Rarity squealed as the boulder cracked open revealing all those wonderful gems...

...

Pinkie pie inexplicably time skips- because she's Pinkie Pie -and gets her family to smile and party!

...

A frightened Twilight watches in horror as her out of control magic causes judges to levitate, her parents turn to potted plants, and the baby dragon grows through the roof!

Twilight is terrified of what consequences await her...until she feels the comforting hoof of princess Celestia...

...

In a different universe, these six fillies, intertwined by fate...would remember this day fondly, but only meet many years later, create the bonds of friendship and save Equestria many times...

...this was not that universe...

...

Six fillies gained their cutie marks, six fillies fulfilled their destinies, six fillies jumped up in the air excitedly...six fillies were then targeted by six invisible predator drones...

 **...TARGET ACQUIRED...**

...elsewhere...

"What- What is this!?

It's our target-

"NO! THOSE ARE KIDS!"

"We have our orders!"

"Frack the orders! I'm not murdering children!"

"You'll do as your told or you'll be hung for high treason! What do you say about that!?"

The red headed teen responded with a fist to his face-

"GO TYRONE! STOP THE DRONES!"

The little boy jumped to the controls and prayed he'd be in time...

...

Twilight bounced up and down excitedly while an amused Celestia watched, "I'm going to be Celestia's apprentice! I'm going to be Celestia's apprentice! I'm-

 **PONY! RUN! I CAN'T STOP THE DRO-(muffled crashing and screams)**

 **GET OFF! YOU'LL RUIN EVERYTHING! I-(More muffled crashing and screams)**

 **LITTLE PONY! RUN!**

All the ponies looked up confused as an odd metallic...THING. De-cloaked in mid-air. "What is-

 **BANG!**

...it would later be called the six shoots heard around the world...

...

Twilight looked down confused at the gaping wound in her side...blood everywhere...everyone screaming...feeling...feeling very...very tired...

...

The animals sobbed as the cute pink haired pegasus who'd just befriended them...slowly bleed out on the grass...

...

 _"So many...so many beautiful...designs...unmade...I had such plans...I'm sorry Sweetie belle...looks like I won't get to see you grow up."_ Thought Rarity as her entrails bleed over the once pristine diamonds and rubies...

...

"No...I...I was so close..." Cried Applejack as she looked toward her precious Apple orchard...her home...her family ran screaming toward their prodigal filly...desperately trying to get her to wake up...

...

"No...I...I just wanted to be awesome!" Cried out the Rainbow-maned filly as she fell throught the sky bleeding...the ground rushing up to her to seal her fate...

...

"Sorry everyone...I guess I forgot to wear my plot armor..." Giggled a bleeding Pinkie Pie as her family tired in vain to stop her entrails from falling out of her now ripped open gut...

...

A panting Wendy finally incapacitated Robbie and Agent Powers...but one look at her sobbing friend...she knew it was too late...

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	195. WE HATE CLOP FICS!

**WE HATE CLOP FICS!**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon and BarnesandNoble.**

...

It was a glorious day in Canterlot! Celestia should know, she was the one that set it in motion! It was so beautiful that she just had to sing!

 **Morning in Equestria shimmers**

 **Morning in Equestria shines**

 **And I know for absolute certain...**

 **That everything is certainly fine!**

She flies above her subjects wishing them all good will and happiness...

 **There's the Mayor _en route_ to her office.**

"Morning your majesty!" Shouts said mayor.

 **There's the sofa clerk selling some quills.**

"Thanks for the beautiful day your majesty!"

 **My Equestria is so gentle and still**

 **Can things ever go wrong?**

 **I don't think that they will!**

Says the princess as she lands and confidently trots down the street.

 **Morning in Equestria shimmers**

 **Morning in Equestria shines**

 **And I know for absolute certain, That everything is certainly—**

 **WHAM!**

 **(music abruptly halts)**

Celestia shook her head and turned to the person she'd run into, "I'm so sorry, I should watch where... Celestia froze...for before her stood a monster.

It towered above her, it had long slender arms and had no face...yet it wore a business suite and held an umbrella.

The creature(somehow) smiled at her, **"Afternoon your majesty...would you like to buy an umbrella? Storm's a coming after all."** He said innocently.

Celestia, after a moments shock...found her voice, "S-storm? Why there's not a cloud in the sky. I-

 **SPLAT!**

Something hit the ground near Celestia, covering her face with something wet and sticky...suddenly having a bad feeling...Celestia touched the substance on her face...and saw it was **blood**...

Dread now on the rise...she turned to the 'object' that had squirted her...and her insides went cold...it was an infant...a hairless, ape-like infant...that had hit the pavement, killing it instantly...it's blood and grey matter now splashed everywhere...

Before a horrified Celestia could respond-

 **SPLAT!**

Celestia's ears prickled in terror at the sound...as it slowly...but surly began to get more frequent...

 **SPLAT!...** **SPLAT!...** **SPLAT!...**

The monster handed her a spare umbrella, **"I REALLY think you should reconsider...I have a suspicion that this is about to become a downpour."** Said the creature with a (somehow)knowing smile.

Celestia grabbed the umbrella just in time-

 **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!**

 **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!**

 **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!** **SPLAT!-**

Celestia could only gape in horror...thousands...thousands of infants...falling from the sky's...staining her beautiful land in blood and gore, she quickly tried to use her magic, but it just bounced off them uselessly! She tried to fly up and catch them...but they seemed to ricochet away her grasp at the last second!

After several hours, her face with streaked with blood and tears as she wailed and weeped over this whole nightmare, some of her more braver subjects had tried to help...but they too had been meet with failure...still at least it was starting to let up a bit...

 **SPLAT!...** **SPLAT!...** **SPLAT!...**

Celestia simply cradled the rotting corpse of the sweet infant...an infant who would now never know love, friendship, and happiness...two less eyes that wouldn't see, one less pair of lungs that would breath, one less mouth to laugh...a life murdered before it could ever truly live...

She wailed to the heaves, "WHY!? WHY!? COULDN'T I SAVE THEM!?" She screamed to all who would listen.

 **"No need to shout, just adopt them before they crash obviously. Then you can save them no problem..."** Spoke up the monster in a mock chastising way.

Celestia turned to the monster, both in rage and stunned bafflement. Before she could vent her anger-

 **"Oh, speaking of which...I think the last one is falling now. Best hurry your majesty."** He said as he pointed upward.

Celestia looked up...and sure enough one last infant was falling, everything else left her mind as she went super-sonic to grab the child and while doing so-

"BY THE POWER INVESTED IN ME, I ADOPT THIS CHILD AND MAKE HIM MY HEIR!" Screamed Celestia desperately as she used her magic to bind the oath, she had no reason to trust the monsters words, but at this point she'd try ANYTHING!

...and it worked...the child wept. "Oh, sweeite! Don't cry! It'll all be better now!" She said as comforting as possible, she summoned a blanket to warm the child's naked form. While doing so...she noticed an odd birth mark on his head...

 _"The big Dipper? Huh, interesting omen..."_ Thinks Celestia as she floats down slowly...not surprising the monster was long gone...what WAS surprising was that he'd left a parchment full of instructions...instructions that made Celestia feel sick.

She quickly covered the ears of her new son...and screamed every profanity under the sun...

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	196. Anthro-Ponypology relationships 101

**Anthro/Ponypology relationships 101**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon and BarnesandNoble.**

...Response...

HyperA1985: ...anyone ever tell you you have a bit of a one-track mind?

Gamelover41592: thanks

Wicked.A: I'll give you a hint: among other things...this is also a mass effect crossover.

...

The new professor walks into his classroom, he kisses thew pictures of his wife and then of his parents Wendy and Mason for luck and turns to his collage class to begin his lecture...

 **It has been greatly debated from the highest of academia to the lowest of grade school playgrounds...what would've happened had not the 'harmony comet' hit earth during the Precambrian era 600 million years ago...?**

 **Would magic still have come to our world?...would pony and humans still walk the earth together? Or would humanity be forced to walk alone, relying on nothing but wits, science and the hope that without magic our good friends the dragons would've died out from the** **Chicxulub asteroid...rather then survive and make humans an easy snack without pony assistance...  
**

 **Sadly, we might never know...the closest will get I fear is through the various 'what-if' alternate history books that seem to be everywhere these days(1)...  
**

...

 **But never mind that...let's begin our story...**

 **...Chapter 1, Stone age...**

The dumb, naked neanderthal boy shrugged as he watched another of his tribe get eaten by a 'lizard-from-sky', "Ugh Oot Abba wah!"(better him then me). he went back to work banging rocks together to make a better billy club...suddenly sparks! Fly off the stone and ignite twig!

Cave boy jump back startled...but...he come back...and bang rocks again...more sparks! More burn-burn like 'Lizards-from-sky' puke! Boy get excited and bang more rocks together...now stick on fire!

 **...2001 space odyssey theme plays...**

Boy excitedly throws burning stick in air...it hit monolith who tribe place in center and worship...

 **BAM!**

 **(Music abruptly halts)**

Monolith falls over and crush half of tribe!

Cave boy then invents 'whistle and walk away, acting innocent' maneuver...While wiping off sweat from weird birthmark on head...he walks past water just as pretty, purple Unicorn girl climbs out of the sea and steps on steps foot on land for the first time...she shakes all the water out of her fur then looks up to see Cave boy...his nudity immediately filled her with revulsion... and pity **(2).**

The boy takes one look at Unicorn girl and reacts the only way he deems feasible; "WOMAN!" Shouts Cave boy as he runs after her to knock her on head and drag her back to his cave...and make her his wife-

Unicorn screams in panic, suddenly fearing for her virtue as she frantically runs away...at first she's quicker and almost gets away...then she runs into a dead end. She presses herself up against the walls fearful, Cave boy advances gleefully.

Panicked, this unicorn becomes the first to use magic in the history of the world-

 **ZAP!**

 **GAH!**

-Through exploding male genitals.

Boy wimpers and falls to the ground clutching his groin in agony, "Ugh! Wah! BAH!(Why you do that!?)"

Unicorns, shocked at what she just did...quickly gets over it to snarl at him, "Woo! HA! NAh! Bah!(You were trying to attack and rape me!)

Cave boy retorts, "Yah! Hubba! wah-wah! KAPPa! Lu-lu! pee-pee! Kaa-kaa!"(That is a very offensive stereotype! I was just going to take you back home and share my lunch with you, get to know you, and if we hit if. Suggest you marry me, since you clearly stranger in strange land! You don't know customs, how to gather food, or how to avoid giant lizards that fly in sky and breath fire! Do you even have a cave to live in and keep the rain off your head?)

Unicorn looked baffled, "Woo-woo wah-wah?" (By chasing me with club, bashing head in and dragging me back to your home against my will?")

Cave boy glares, "Woop woop! Weeb weeb, wah-wah!"(That tradition of land! my father do that to meet ma and his father before him! It how neighbors and countrymen get wives! It's how I was taught and educated!") But boy then gets thoughtful look, "Wee-wee"(but when you say it out-loud like that, i guess I can see the how a cultural misunderstanding can erupt...perhaps it wouldn't kill me to reconsider my upbringing and ponder if it's truly ethical or not.) He concedes.

Unicorn looks at boy thoughtful...before she could say anything...she saw that they weren't alone. The rest of the tribe...originally following the boy to beat him for killing half the tribe...then they followed to see the boy kill this strange yet beautiful creature...and then they saw her summon lightining to castrate the boy...so naturally they bowing and worshiping the newcomer...

The unicorn...had a thought on this, "Wug-wug! Woo-woo huba-huba!(First of all, you men cover yourselves! your genitals are freakishly small and so darn ugly!)

And thus...the 'gift' of shame was discovered by the human males...they covered their nudity embarrassed, while the newly 'enlightened' women laughed at them...only furthering their shame...

Unicorns thinks to herself, _"ru-ru-ru, ma-ma mut." (note to self: do not let power go to head)..._

...one day later...

The purple unicorn laughed as her fellow unicorns whipped the humans to force them to build statues in her honor... "Wuht, whut. Say-say."( Okay...I lied)

...

And thus, the age of pony dominance over humans began...well, mostly. For while the unicorn tribes did the stereotypical tyrannic monarchy...the pegasus and earth ponies took a slightly different path...

The Pegasus society was largely militaristic/meritocracy, so although they enslaved humans as well, they gave them every opportunity to earn their freedom...through gladiatorial combat!

...Needless to say...between their superior strength and the power of flight...it was rare for humans to win...but for those who did...they became the stuff of legend...but that's a story for another time...

And Earth pony society was more socialist, as long as you worked for the good of the community and helped bring the harvest in before winter, you were welcomed with equal rights! Be you pony or human!

...Although, there were still constant threats to castrate the human males if they didn't cover their 'shame'.

... **Footnotes**...

 **(1)Be it a 'A pony In King Arthur's court', 'Pastwatch: the Redemption of** **Chancellor Puddinghead', 'Abraham Lincoln: Pony hunter'...I'm partial to 'Stallion in the High Castle' myself...**

 **(2) Such mature topics are best covered in Madam Trotting's controversial yet intellectually stimulating thesis: 'Of Mares and Men: 'Let's be honest, us girls only sleep with HUMAN guys because we pity how tiny and ugly their genitals are'.  
**

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	197. A pig or a friend? 6: RasenganFin

**A pig or a friend chapter 6**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...response...

Wicked.A: Thank you, I'll take it under advisement...

Gamelover41592: Thank you

...

Wendy slammed her foot down causing the two kids- who were bickering over who got the new room Soos had just discovered -to immediately clam up. Naturally she rounded on Mable, "So you think YOU deserve this room more than Dipper? Who just last night you threw out of the attic so you could have a slumber party with your friends?" She asks annoyed.

Mable's eye's went wide... "Wha- How do you know..."

"The poor guy was chased by a wolf that I had to shoot in the head with a crossbow to save him. The thing chased Dipper towards my house. Since you weren't going to let him back in the attic I let him sleep with me in my room. So NO you do not deserve this room Mabel." Stated Wendy flatly.

Stan chuckles as he puts a reassuring hand on Wendy's shoulder, "Okay, sweetie you using logic and reason to end this conflict...it's cute...but I think we all know there's only one way to solve this." He says in a somewhat condescending manner, he then turns to the twins, "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" He shouts aggressively.

Wendy just face-palms irritably, "It's like Saturday night with dad's poker buddies all over gain." She stated annoyed...

...

Wendy hummed to herself, this 'competition' had been going rather well. Taking inspiration from the movie 'vengeance of the socially awkward' she'd been sabotaging all of Mable's attempts to suck up to Stan.

Like putting ghost pepper juice in her omelette- "Why do you carry that around with you?" asked Dipper. "You never know when you need to ruin someone's meal." Said Wendy evilly. -Or swapping her shiatzu massage oils with liquid heat, then she hired her brothers to help Dipper reshingle the roof more professionally...

Mable blushed at the sight of one of Wendy's brothers, shirtless, sweating in the intense heat, bulging muscles helping him chop an obscene amount of wood to help Dipper.

She walked over, "Hey, how- "Keep walking pig-lover, I'll never date a girl who threw my sister under the ding-dang bus!" Says the brother coldly. Mable walks away in a sulk...

Wendy was now calling Thompson to bring over some Toffee peanuts-

"Wendy! It's me Dipper! Mable and I swapped bodies! And now Mable is going to sabotage our efforts to get the room. You have to believe me!" Shouts 'Mable' as she runs up to her.

For a long moment...Wendy just stares at 'her'...ordinarily, this wouldn't fly with her...but on the other hand, since the twins have shown up...she'd been attacked by ghosts, games, and shape-shifters...

Wendy sighed, but continued to glare. "Alright...if your 'Dipper', tell me something only he would know."

'Mable' looked surprised, but nodded...she looked back and forth...then whispered to her...told her how how he slept with her in her bed(she had him sleeping in front of her with his back to her and her arm was draped over him), how he was terrified when she casually mentioned her dad strangling him if he found out they were in the same bed under the covers, what he had for breakfast, and how he knew she had a birthmark on her bare rear that looked like-

"Stop, I believe you." Said a flustered Wendy quickly. Now gone from contempt to concern, Wendy quickly asks if Dipper was okay.

Dipper groaned, "No I'm not okay Wendy! This whole 'business' is sick and wrong! And Why do i feel different between my legs? It's so moist!" Dipper asked fearing the worst.  
"Well you're currently in Mabel's body. It could be what she has what you don't." Wendy replied sinking Dipper-Mabel's irises.  
"Dang her body is so twitchy! Right now it wants to find a boy and kiss him! Wendy I don't want to kiss a boy! I don't like that stuff!" Dipper cried in terror.  
"Now that's a sight worth seeing a boy in. Girls body kissing another boy..." Wendy pondered.  
"Wendy!"  
"Alright alright. Spoilsport. Seems Mabel's boy craziness isn't her personality it's her physiology." Wendy said. "First off let's purge you of all this glitter in your system."

However, before they can do anything-

"MAKEOVER PARTY!"

Suddenly, Dipper found himself enveloped and dragged down the hallway by Mable's two latest friends, "GAH! OH, SWEET BLOOD NO! MY MASCULINITY WAS HANGING BY A THREAD AS IT WAS!" He screamed.

Wendy chased after him, "Dude, just tough it out! OVERCOME Be the one who give makeovers rather then get one!" Wendy then decides to join in to prevent the worse...

'Dipper'(i.e. Mable in Dipper's body) smirks as she sees this and peeks through the keyhole to view the carnage-

"Whoa! At that age where your peeking on girls, huh? Welp, time for 'the talk' then." Next thing Mable knew, she was being dragged away by Grunkle Stan as he brought out the 'why am I so sweaty?' book...

"Goodbye childhood..."

...

Wow, thanks Mable! I can't remember the last time I looked this great!" Exclaimed Candy and Grenda happily. Dipper smiled...he couldn't believe it...but his make-up skill were actually pretty good.

It seemed to him that Mabel probably practices less thinking her art skills are fantastic and doesn't need refining- leaving her with a flashier and more colorful First Grade style art. Where as Dippers more down to earth view actually works to improving his drawing skills, making it more refined and superior overall...

 _"Wow...I...I look like my mom..."_ Thinks a stunned and amazed Wendy as she looks at Dipper's handiwork...

Finally, Dipper was able to convince Grenda and Candy to 'share' his work with his 'brother', united they overpower Mable and force her to switch back with dipper...

Candy and Grenda- once informed of the situation -look like their about to try it out for themselves- "NOPE! Were done!" Says Wendy flatly as she quickly throws the two of them out of the room! ...unfortunately, she missed the other intruder that waddled onto the carpet-

 **ZAP!**

Well...I'm a pig now...so that's something." Says Dipper now in Waddles body, "MINE" Shouts Mcgucket and grabs and runs with Dipper-

"DIPPER!" Screamed both girls as they ran after him...

...

Eventually, Wedny is able to get him back to his right body...

And Stan is so impressed by the fine job at the roof, "standing up to him"(Mabel's failed attempt at insulting), and taking the Talk like a man without any questions that he awards Dipper the room.

Dipper moves into the room the following day- while also agreeing to share it with poor Soos - and Wendy brings her television and video game console turning it into Dippers room/Shack break room.

When Mabel walks up to her now lone room she finds out Waddles hasn't been put out for a while, "Aww Waddles! You pooped on my bed!" Dipper and Wendy hear this and laugh their butts off as Wendy tosses chocolate laxative wrapper in the garbage...

The next morning Dipper wakes up with Wendy's arms around him, when he tries to get up... she pulls him closer.

"Heeheehee." Whispers a certain triangle demon in his ear impishly...

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	198. WANTED: TYRONE PINES- But who cares?

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

RasenganFin: Huh...I was hoping to do a few more episodes before that...but thank you! this looks good!

Gamelover41592: indeed

NyaNyaKittyFace: 1. ...okay? And yes, she is. 2. Yes they did, thank you. 3. I would hope not.

coyoteprime1100: 1. Honestly i feel like you censor your stories TOO much, as for it being a 'kids show'(holds up 'Gravity Falls cannon', tears out the parts he likes, throws the rest in the garbage...then sets it on fire). 2. I wish you'd elaborate, but thanks. 3. oh well, Thanks for trying anyway.

Kenny9x3: I wondered if anyone would get that reference...

FanGirl: Thank you.

...

...Deep within the Bavarian mountains...

..And mad king Ludvig would invite guests into Castle Linderhoff where they would fall victim to dozens of his lethal traps." Explains the guide as the archeological group walks through the ancient castle.

"Rude." Snarked a university student.

Jackie Chan- the team leader -chuckled, "That's why his name wasn't 'lovable king ludvig' or 'beloved neighborly king of Bavaria'."

Suddenly Jackie stopped the group in it's path, "Stand back." He instructs, he then points out a tripwire with a special spray bottle.

The university just shrugs, "Ah, come on. What are the odds theses traps still wor- Jackie stops him in his tracks, plucks his hat off his head and drops it on the tripwire-

 **CRUNCH!**

The trap snapped shut and flattened the hat. He then gives the hat back to the startled student. They walk on until Jackie uses a skull statue to find a hidden latch to open a secret door.

Once lit, the torches illuminated a vast treasure room. "Ludvigs' lost treasure." Said the guide amazed.

Jackie nodded, "The treasure is probably booby-trapped, So it's important we don't-

The university Student yanks out a golden pole.

-Touch anything." Finishes an exasperated Jackie. The room starts to shake and the entrance begins to close, Jackie uses a spear to keep the door open to allow the others to get through...but it snaps and closes before he can get through...

Suddenly multiple arrows start to shoot at him! "BAD DAY!BAD DAY! BAD DAY! BAD DAY!BAD DAY!BAD DAY!BAD DAY!BAD DAY!BAD DAY!BAD DAY! BAD DAY! BAD DAY!BAD DAY!BAD DAY!BAD DAY!BAD DAY!" Shouts Jackie as he dodges them all.

Jackie grabs a shield to deflect them all, he then jumps through a nearby hole on the ceiling, he then slides on the shield through the small tunnel, out of the castle and down the mountain back to the group...

Jackie Chan, master archeologist/martial artist/reluctant hero. In many universes he would go on to be a great hero, saving the world from many dangers and keeping the darkness at bay...

Jackie sighs as he turns to the group, "Snowboarding works a lot better with sn-

"Forgive me."

 **BANG!**

-This was not that universe...

Jackie Chan looked down shocked at the large hole in his stomach...right before he keeled over...dead to the world...

The group screamed as the strange gunman walked over, grabbed the shield and walked away without a word.

...many weeks later...

The man hands all 12 Talismans over to Valmont, "You have yet to explain why your doing this or what your reward should be." Asked Valmont.

"I want nothing from you, my 'reward'...will be given by someone else." Without a word...he leaves the Dark Hands lair...

...

 **CHINA DESTROYED!**

 **ARMY OF DRAGONS KILLS ENTIRE POPULATION!**

With a heavy yet resolute heart, the stranger throws the newspaper carrying the grim headline into a waste basket... He then wander through Tibet...to a certain hidden chamber...where a certain Box lies...

...

The weary man uses the Pan'ku Box to open the first demon portal at An island in Tokyo Bay, Japan. "Well...this is unexpected." Said the Demon sorceress Po Kong. She turns to the human she apparently owed her freedom to. "So...what do I owe you handsome?" She asked with a smirk.

"My 'pay' is already arranged...Tell your siblings to expect me soon."

He then zaps the fading demon portal with an odd stone, destroying it permanently so she couldn't be banished back and then leaves...

... Hollowlands Prison, in Colorado's Black Forest...

It was much easier to break into the prison then you'd expect, the recent calamities in the Orient had caused the various world governments to divert funds and resources from all non-military and non-research projects, including a strictly domestic criminal prison...besides, no one ever expected people to break IN to a prison...

And Xiao Fung's rampage was all the distraction the stranger needed to slip back out of the prison and into the night undetected...

...Megagalactic Studios in Hollywood, California...

"I'm firing the special effects division!" Shouts Larry Franklin as Tchang Zu lays waste to his studio, his trailer, his mansion...and his car!

He then turns toward the stranger, "You'll never work in this town again!" He shouts angrily.

"Good." States the stranger as he walks off into the sunset...Hollywood burning to the ground around him...

...the moon...

The stranger sighed as he pointed Tso Lan toward the lunar surface, "Go nuts." He said in a weary, defeated tone...

...The countryside of Pamplona, Spain...

The stranger was forced to use a boat to get to the portal location as most of the countryside was now flooded thanks to the missing moon now causing the tides to go all screwy...

The stranger silently hoped that Dai Gui would drown...so naturally he did NOT...story of his life...

...Fenway Park, Boston...

It was easy to sneak into the stadium...there were no more games...not since marshal law was declared...not that it would've mattered, everyone was too busy hunkering in bunkers or refuge camps to even think about Baseball anymore...

Hsi Wu came out of the girls bathroom... So many jokes went through the strangers head...but he just kept silent...he was in no mood for laughter...

...?...

An infant pink filly started to cry...

...Roman Coliseum...

"My...(sigh) 'employer' wants me to inform you that your empire of Atlantis is now nothing but rubble...he asks me to recommend using the San Fransisco fault line to build a new kingdom...here's a map."

The demoness chuckled, "Thank you kindly..."

...several universe over...

"AT LAST! I HAVE ALL 12-

 **YOINK!**

Shouts a disembodied voice as it opens a inter-dimensional portal and snatches all the alternate talismans from an alternate Shendu...who then curses up a storm...

...?...

"So...your going to give me a secondary set of Shendu's talismans...an incapacitated chosen one, an incapacitated Santa Claus, AND the idol of the Three Wise Monkeys? Just like that? ...you'll forgive me if I'm not suspicious." Said Daolon Wong Suspiciously...

The stranger groaned, he hated this. He looked over to the unconscious embodiment of holiday cheer and the unconscious little Chinese girl. Thankfully, draining their chi won't kill them...he'd had his fill of killing good people after Mr. Chan...the only reason he went along with that because his 'employer' refused to budge on it. It was the one and only 'kill' he made certain was part of the deal...

Finally, he was able to convince Wong it wasn't a trick...and be forced to watch as Wong's power became the equal of a demon...

The stranger drove the two unconscious people to the nearest refugee camp...the next day would bring nothing but sobbing as Christmas was effectively canceled...

...Antarctica...

 _"Why did I have to bring them here?"_ Thinks the stranger annoyed as he followed his employers bizarre instructions. He threw the Hanafuda cards into the fire...he then brings out all 9 Oni masks and brings them together...freeing them from their confines, and waking Tarakudo's spirit from the Shadow realm. **  
**

The stranger sighed, "Alright...here's a potion that'll make it impossible to turn you all into masks again." He explains...

...Washington D.C...

It was a war zone...the entire planet was filled with fighting as all three factions(four if you counted the enslaved and tormented humanity caught in the middle) battled for supremacy...so naturally his employer wanted to bring ANOTHER player to the game board.

"Stop gawking and give me the power!" Snaps Drago, _"Let me guess...were just going to ignore the fact that you being here is an impossible temporal paradox/plot hole?"_ Thinks the stranger wearily as he gives Drago all the demon Chi items...

...Gravity Falls...

 _"Well...at least he can't escape."_ Thinks the stranger as he Watches the newly freed Bill Cipher as he fails to break free of the weirdness bubble surrounding Gravity Falls...

...?...

"Alright...I've done all you ask, now your part of the deal!" Insists the stranger.

The eldritch abomination known as slenderman(somehow) smirked. **"Indeed...as promised; your wife returned to you."**

Wendy pines suddenly appeared in the room unharmed, "TYRONE!" She shouts happily as she runs over to hug her husband Tyrone Pines. The couple cries, happy to be reunited.

 **"And of course your beautiful, infant twin children; Dipper and Mable will be kept safe."**

He snaps his fingers...but they do not appear. "WHERE ARE THEY?!" Barked both parents.

 **"As promised...they'll be 'kept safe' -Oh, did you think that meant I'd send them back to you?"** He laughs, **"Hardly, have you seen your planet lately? Total death trap! ...You saw to that Tyrone."**

Both parents scream in rage as they try to throw themselves at the monster who had ruined the lives of so many...but with a snap of his finger, they find themselves frozen in mid-air.

 **"Temper, Temper, Temper, Temper. Like I said, their safe...for now. I never said how long I'd keep them safe after all..."**

But the monster claps his hands and makes two boxes appear before him(one red, one black.). **"But enough dire talk! You deserve a reward for all your hard work! And my reward is this: a choice between a blessing** (points to red box) **or a curse** (points to black box). **"Pretty self-explanatory really. But know this, the box you DON'T choose will go to your kids."**

Tyrone glared, "Obviously I pick the curse, you jerk!" He snarled angrily.

Slenderman rubbed his hands together, **"Excellent choice! You've won an all expense free trip to the top of everyone's frak list! This curse will make sure that everyone on the planet will know that YOU are responsible for these hard times!"** He opens the black box and black smoke flies from it and envelops Tyrone.

 **"And as for your kids, a gift...a gift of many, a gift of 'rite of passage'. For the first 12 birthdays of their life, their birthday wish will come true! However, they will shall remain oblivious to this connection- wouldn't want to make things TOO easy after all?"** Opens the red box and out pours a red mist that flies off into the sky... **"We'll enjoy your post-apocalyptic wasteland! Toodles!"** And with that...he was gone...leaving two sobbing parents alone...wondering of the fate of their children...

...Equestria, Canterlot...

"Well...that's unexpected." Says Night Light out loud as he finds two sobbing earth pony new-born's on his door step(one blue and one rainbow) as he was getting his morning paper. Not knowing what else to do, he brings them in to his wife Twilight Velvet, his teenage son Shining armor and his little filly of a daughter Twilight Sparkle...

...…...

 **TO BE CONTINUED?**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	199. A pig or a friend? 7: RasenganFin

Tales of the Falls

...

 **I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!**

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

Gamelover41592: thanks

Guest: what do you mean?

...

Wendy glared at Stan, "Look I get that your trying to teach Dipper 'tough love' to help him in the world- I'm all for that -but what about Mable?"

Stan looked at her confused, "What about her? She's tough enough as it is!"

Wendy slapped her forehead, "I'm not talking about toughness! I'm taking about about learning discipline! Restraint! Responsibility!"

Stan scoffed, "Never heard of them." He said dismissively.

Suddenly, he found himself dangling in the air, "Well, too bad. They would've helped Mable NOT leave me with a BLACK EYE!" She snarled as she dangled him from the overpass.

...and thus Stan and Wendy reached the... 'Mutual' decision, to give all discipline maters concerning Mable over to Wendy...

...Where was Mable anyway? And Soos?

...

"Egassem sdrawkcab. egassem sdrawkcab. Egassem sdrawkcab! Egassem sdrawkcab! Egassem sdrawkcab!" Shouts Gideon as he summons A certain Triangle Demon...while a horrified Mable and Soos watch from afar.

...

When Mable came running in screaming about Gideon summoning a demon...Wendy thought she was just indulging in the sugar packets again...until Dipper backed her up by looking through the journal to confirm.

They ran to their grunkle...but it was too late...stopping long enough to make a 'kissy face' motion toward them, the shadow of the triangle man went into Stan's body...

All attempts to wake Stan failed, cold water, smelling salts, Wendy punching him in the face...nothing worked.

Fortunately, Dipper found a spell to send them all into Stan's mind...however, before he dose that he sees Stan's nose bleed from the haymaker Wendy landed...and wonders if it would be a good idea to leave someone to keep watch over Stan's body.

Dipper would rather take Wendy into Stan's mind with him since she's more reliable in a fight... but on the other hand he can't trust Soos and Mabel to guard Stan. Soos would be too distracted by wanting to make Nachos and Mabel would be bored out of her mind...

Wendy is reluctant at first...but between Dipper's logic...and giving her his 'stare'...she caves in and agrees...

...

After they enter Stan's mind, she picks up the journal and stands guard by Stan...as she's looking around out of mild-boredom...her eyes land on the safe-room that contains the deed to the Shack. Remembering what Gideon tried to do earlier, she wondered if he'd try again with almost everyone distracted with Bill...

...

Wendy looks at Stan with concern...it had been hours since they'd went it...was it SUPPOSED to take this long?

 **CLANG!**

 **GAH!**

Wendy smirked, her hunch had been right. She went into the safe room and sure-enough found Gideon caught in the bear-trap she set up.

"SWEETMOTHEROFMERCY!I'MINAGONY!DADDY!MOMMAHELPME!ICOULDN'TBEINMOREPAIN!" He cried like a baby, but he'd get no sympathy here, he was trying to hurt the one's Wendy cared about!

She grabbed him, lifted him up and shook him like a dog!

...so busy was she tormenting him...she didn't notice a certain journal fly out of his pocket and slide out of sight under a radiator...

After a violent beat-down that she knew she must never let Soos know, lest it give him nightmares...he got Gideon to fess up everything...his schemes, his surveillance gig, his bank account numbers.

After using the information online to take all his money(she planned to split it with the gang later), she turns back to the wimpering simpleton she'd left hanging upsidedown.

"It's over for you Gideon, you little creep." She snarls.

Gideon tries- and fails -to look tough, "Like anyone will believe you! It''s your word -the town delinquent -against mins, the town darling!"

Wendy just smirks as she picks up her phone, "Well, it's a good thing this 'delinquent' has the same bad habit of recording stupid videos like most teens, I've already sent copies of your confession to both the police and the media...your done Gideon."

 **"NOT AS DONE AS YOU ARE."** Says a dark, demonic voice.

Wedny turns around, and sees her boss?! "Mr. Pine-

She stops dead in her tracks...this was NOT Mr. Pines.

Before she could say anything, she finds both herself and Gideon grabbed and thrown out of the Shack.

"Hey, ice Bag! I think it be best you update your resume, cause from this moment on this Shack is a one man show!" Shouts Bill Cipher in Stan's body.

Gideon shouted, "Hey! What about-

 **CLUNK!**

Wendy clunked him to shut him up. She turned back to Stan, "I'll tell people-

"What? That your boss is possessed by a demon? SURE, I bet the men in white putting you in a straitjacket will LOVE to hear all about it." Mocked Bill in Stan's body...or 'STILL' as will now call him...

Wendy glared at Still, then I'll beat you up myself!"

Still chuckled, "And hurt your boyfriend?" He taps his head, "He's still in here y'know, trapped, helpless and at my mercy. Still want to make me mad?"

Wendy's defeated slump was all the answer he needed, "Good night, ice bag! I'll put your severance check in the mail!" He laughs as he walks back into the Shack unopposed...leaving a sobbing Wendy...pulling at the journal...and all she had left of her best friend...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	200. A pig or a friend? 8: RasenganFin

**A pig or a friend**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

Wicked.A: Hmmm...tempting...but i'm kinda saving all my creative juices in that area for the next book in the series, y'know?

RasenganFin: (already settled on PM)

Gamelover41592: No, it isn't

...

Before doing anything else Wendy dropped off Gideon to the police, she had enough on her plate to deal with as it is! "Your under arrest for fraud, attempted theft, illegal surveillance and breaking all our hearts!" Sobbed Chief Blubs.

Wendy just walked away without a second thought...she needed to save Dipper! Oh and Soos...(sigh)...and Mable too she supposed...

Fortunately, she still had the journal. Quickly using her darklight, she scans through the pages for something, ANYTHING Dipper might've missed...and then she finds a hidden message between two pages stuck together...

...this was it! It explained how one could use the dreamscape to their advantage to fight Bill! ...but she'd have to get in and warn them! But how...according to this she could only enter a persons mind if they were asleep or distracted...distracted?

Quickly the gears turned in her mind, she grabbed her phone and called the one person she knew she could count on at times like this...

"DAD! Mr Pines has gone bananas! I need your help subduing him!"

"I'm sorry baby I'm a little preoccupied..."

"He said Several Timez just Lip Syncs and Auto Tunes!"

"WHAT?! I'LL BE RIGHT OVER!"

She snuck back to the Shack, set up the ritual...and waited, she looked through the journal one more time...and noticed something-

 **Warning: although it's possible to get into a person's mind while their distracted, it is not ideal. The interference of the targets awake state could cause interference which could-**

Suddenly she saw her dad roaring up and knew her time was up, she stopped reading and got ready. Any problems that came up she'd deal with.

Still turned to Manly Dan and smiled "Hey big, bulky and scruffy! What can I do for-

 **BAM!**

"Suck it jerk! Several Timez will rise again!" Shouts Dan as he attacks Still without mercy.

Wendy quickly enacts the ritual...and is soon sent into Stan's mind...well...most of her...

...

"WHAT THE BLOOD!?" Screamed Wendy...aside from her trapper hat and battle Axe...she had no clothes! The spell had taken her, but left her clothes behind. She growls, "Save dipper first, be embarrassed later!" She shouts.

She streaks through the confines of Stan's mind...and finally she finds Dipper! He's chained to the wall but fine!

"DIPPER! YOUR OKAY!"

"WENDY! YOUR NAKED!"

"MEAT PUPPETS! YOUR ON FIRE!"

Wendy turned around just in time to see bill flicker into existence and set the room ablaze, Bill was clearly frazzled forced to split his attention between this and figthing off Manly Dan.

Wendy's eyes widen as the fire gets close to Dipper! Oh, and Soos too...and Mable(sigh)...she'd have to save her too of course...

"DIPPER! CONCENTRATE! THIS IS A DREAM REALM! YOU HAVE THE POWER HERE! BILL DOESN'T! YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT!"

"Uh...were here too, y'know?" Said Soos a little hurt.

"Er, right! Sorry Soos!"

"Hey, what am I? Chopped Liver?" Asked Mable. Wendy glared, briefly considered her axe with the words 'chopped'...and then sighed and reassured her as well...

The chained part of the group tired to follow Wendy's instructions...but they were so exhausted from fighting Bill plus the fear of the fire getting closer...they just couldn't focus properly!

Wendy groaned and tried to think of something else! _"Come on Corduroy! Think... that might work!"_ She turned to the group almost obscured by the inferno in-between them- "Dipper if you can hear me- if you can break free and drive this freak out of Stan I'll give you the biggest Hug possible!" She opens her arms up wide unashamed of exposing her bare bosom.

At that moment, bill returned. "What's up Ice? Have you-

 **CRACK!**

 **BOOM!**

Between a free and 'eager' Dipper throwing thunderbolts and synthetic music from the 80's at him inside the mind, while Dan pummeled him outside...

"ENOUGH! FINE! KEEP THIS MOOKS BODY! BUT KNOW THIS! A GREAT DARKNESS IS COMING THAT WILL CHANGE EVERYTHING YOU KNOW!"

He tips his hat. "Until then I'll be watching you!"

He starts to fade away surrounded by an odd pictogramic circle, "I'LL BE WATCHING YOU!" And with that he was gone!

Dipper nearly suffocated from Wendy squeezing him into her bosom as she screamed in victory...he didn't mind at all...

Meanwhile, outside Stan's mind-

 **CRACK!**

"STOP!"

 **POW!**

"WHY!?"

 **BAM!**

WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE!?

 **CRUNCH!**

MOMMY!

Screamed Stan as Dan continued to pummel him...

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	201. The Return of the Zodiac

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

The Howling Behemoth: Thanks

Gamelover41592: Thanks

RasenganFin: Thanks

Wicked.A: Yes to both

...

"Him and I...Grammar Stanley"

Corrects an unrepentnet Ford as Stan joins the circle...now in a different universe this poorly timed 'grammer nazi' attitude would cause an enraged Stan to break the circle and attack Ford dooming everyone- for the moment -

 **Click**

Thankfully, this is NOT that universe. Stan stops Mid-rage as a familiar lump is pressed against his chest. "Move and I shoot." Stated Wendy coldly as she pressed the crossbow tip further into the skin above Stan's heart.

Stan gulps...but obliges. Wendy nods...then turns to Ford, "Say another word, and YOU get it." She says darkly as she points the crossbow at him. Ford gulps but also nods.

Dipper once more looked at her in awe as they complete the Zodiac-

 **CRASH!**

Just in time!

"HA! I GOT YOU ALL- WAIT!? WHAT?! NO!

But it was too late...the zodiac would not be denied...it enveloped the malevolent Triangle Demon...and turned him to stone!

 _"YEAH! HE'S GONE! WE DID IT! GREAT JOB EVERYONE!"_ Shouted everyone excitedly as the now miniature Bill statue feel in between them...

Their celebration was short lived... A familiar laugh was heard, _"Jokes on you suckers! I maybe powerless now...but so are you!"_ 'Shouts' the Bill statue.

The group was terrified by their foe returning...then confused by his words...suddenly they realized that it wasn't 'words'...it was thoughts! they were reading his thoughts! ...In fact...instead of speaking, they were ALL projecting words into each others minds!

 _"Uh...guys? Why can't I move?"_ Asks a concerned Soos. And that's when they realized something...Bill wasn't the only statue...they all were! Their bodies were completely petrified. their clothes were untouched- except Dipper, Stan and Wendy's hats for some reason -making them all look like someone put clothes on a bunch of statues holding hands around a freakish demon statue!

Stan...eloquent as ever...summed up everyone's thoughts: _"Well, this sucks..."_

...

With Bill defeated, his minions got sucked back home, and all his damage was undone...soon they were just a bunch of Statues in the middle of the forest...the Fearamid long gone...

Interestingly enough...the three Journals were fully restored and fell to the ground before them within the circle...before getting petrified as well. _"Great...even if we could move- which we can't -we still wouldn't be able to read to pass the time."_ Thinks/shouts Ford.

There was a long awkward pause... _"So...anyone know any good games to pass the time?"_ Asks Soos. _"OH! ME!"_ Shouts Mable. _"NO!"_ Screams everyone else.

...

People came to look for them naturally...sadly their telepathic powers couldn't extend to anyone not a statue it seemed... They found them...assumed the worse...held a ceremony honoring them...and then left...

 _"I spy...with my little eye-_

 _"A rock."_ Interrupts Stan dully.

 _"Dang! Everytime he gets it."_ Exclaims Soos...

...

Time...went by...the sun and moon the only thing to indicate the passage of time at all...the group got so desperate...they even let Mable choose a game-

 _"140520 bottles of ginger ale on the wall! 140520 bottles of ginger ale!" "MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP!"_ Screamed Bill in horror, he knew realms of torment that was worse suffering then this...

...

 _"op! I think it's about to give!"_ Shouted Pacifica happily, after some time, the group had realized, that since their clothes hadn't petrified...they were slowly but Shirley rotting away...at first they were a bit embarrassed to the prospect of being exposed to everyone for seemingly all eternity...but frankly...they were just so BORED! They'd been here...even Ford had lost track! They could tell time by the position of the sun and moon, and the season from the weather and leaves...but that's it! It was...kinda just all bluring together at this point...

In any case...now they had made a bit of a game of it...

..and it looked like...Wendy's shirt would be the first piece of clothing to give out...one more blow of the wind...and yep, the frazzled flannel was now gone! _"Huh, I honestly forgot if I was wearing a bra or not."_ Thought Wendy dimly as the others gave some good natured catcalls...

...

 _"HEY! Don't even think about it!"_ Shouts Stan as a chupicabra raised it's leg near his...what happened next prompted laughter from everyone else...

...

 **BOOM!**

 _"And it just...we Traingles were at the bottom of the heap...we had NO say in anything...when we were born, when we were to die, who we could love, our very thought, feelings and dreams were dictated and controlled by our cruel masters! That saw us as worse then chattel!"_ Sobbed Bill as he told his life story...

 **BOOM!**

 _"Wow...that's horrible...not enough to justify all the horrible things you did AFTER you destroyed your home dimension...but still...I'm so sorry Bill."_ Said a sympathetic Mable

 **BOOM!**

 _"Thanks Mable-_

 **BOOM!**

 _-y'know...I thought this whole thing would be-_

 **BOOM!**

 _-Would be hell to live through-_

 **BOOM!**

 _-But you've really-_

 **BOOM!**

 _-I mean having you here-_

 **BOOM!**

 _-What I'm trying to say-_

 **BOOM!**

 **BOOM!**

 **BOOM!**

 _"FOR THE LOVE OF XANATOS, WHAT IS THAT RACKET!? I'M TRYING TO HAVE SOME STINKING CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT HERE!"_

Ford, the only one in any position to see anything... _"I think...yep, Mushroom cloud. Looks like humanity's finally ending it all." "Eh, was bound to happen sooner or later."_ Said the jaded Robbie with a mental shrug of apathy, and his equally jaded companions agreed...

All this time to think and do nothing...had given them plenty of time to mourn and get over how they're family and friends had long since died...now...now there was just the question of who's clothes were gonna rot off next...

...

...and the answer was...

 _"well! There goes your boxers Dipper! Heh, 'early bloomer' huh?"_ Teased Wendy playfully.

Dipper mentally shrugged off the acknowledgment of his teeny weeny, _"Hey...I'm not as small as Robbie."_

Robbie chuckled, _"Maybe not...but at least I get a birds eye view of Mable getting sick at looking at her brothers willy for the next eternity."  
_

Yep, it was amazing how enough time could make a person get use and brush off everything...

 _"I wish I could claw out my never-closing eyes!"_ Screamed Mable...

...well...almost everything...

...

 **BOOM!**

 _"Well...there goes the mushroom clouds again...so much for the 'great ape confederacy'"_ Says Soos calmly as yet another civilization bit the dust.

 _"Soos pay attention! That was 5 Armageddons ago! Were onto the 'great slug empire's' deathrattle now!"_ Corrected Ford.

 _"Wait, was the apes before or after the crocodile federation went up in smoke?"_ Asked Gideon confused.

 _"It was AFTER the Crocodiles, I remember quite clear."_ Said Wendy.

 _"But BEFORE the camels."_ Pointed out Pacifica.

 _"Hold on! I definitely remember the camels biting it BEFORE the jellyfish!"_

And so they argued about it into the night...long after the last slug fell down dead...and new life could start again...

...

 _"ugh, great Unicorns...I was over them BEFORE I turned to stone."_ Says Mable as the two alicorn sisters begin to survey the spot as the new place for their palace.

"Sister what are we to do with those odd statues?" Asks Luna.

Celestia thinks on it, "Oh, just build around them. Such ancient artifacts should be preserved...plus, it'll do wonders for the decor!" Luna rolls her eyes...but agrees.

...

 _"YEESH! And I thought our relationship was bad!"_ Said Stan to Ford as they watched Celestia banish her sister to the moon...

...

After that, the castle was abandoned...and left to rot...until...

 _"Huh, a rag-tag team of adventurers on an epic journey to defeat a great evil...boy dose that bring back memories."_ Says Ford happily as he watches the mane six try to activate the elements of harmony.

 _"Speak for yourself."_ Says bill annoyed.

"AND FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC!" Shouted Twilight as the elements ignited.

Dipper rolled his eye's, _"Really? That's the best thing you could think to-_

 **ZAP!**

And then the elemental energy hit them...and the group breathed their first breath eons...felt the breeze on their bare skin...and one look at each other...and they were flesh once more!

"We...were alive! Were alive!" They all shouted and ran to give each other a hug...only to fall down immediately since they weren't use to walking again...but they didn't care! THEY WERE ALIVE!

The mane six looked at this in astonished confusion.

"Oooookay...that just happened." Said Twilight...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	202. WE HATE CLOP FICS! 2

Tales of the Falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

RasenganFin: Eh, maybe next chapter?

The Howling Behemoth: I have no idea, I don't really have much of a plan beyond this first chapter

NyaNyaKittyFace: Thanks

...

YOU NAMED THAT SAVAGE YOUR HEIR!?

HE'S NOT EVEN A PONY!

YOU TURNED DOWN MY SON TO ALLOW THAT 'THING' ON THE THRONE!?

WHY NOT JUST THROW OUR COUNTRY TO THE DIAMOND DOGS WHILE WERE AT IT!?

Celestia groaned as the nobles continued to scream. Naturally, even after the 'rain' had ended ponies were still in panic. Cleanup was in progress...but it would take months...there was just so much blood...EVERYWHERE...

But that was a concern for later...right now, she'd adopted a strange 'alien'. No, not just adopted, thanks to her mystically binding oath...this child was now her HEIR, the next in line for the throne...

Right, she'd had enough of this, she had a child to look after now after all! Why, she hadn't even named him yet!

 **ENOUGH!**

Her scream shook the entire courtroom, silencing everyone.

She glared at all of them; "First of all...I did what I had to do to stop yet ANOTHER infantcide- Unless you rather I have just allowed the child to die!?" She glared at everyone, daring them to say 'yes'...none did.

"SECOND, who my heir is is hardly relative considering I'm immortal...unless someone here is suggesting something be done about that as well!?" She accused darkly...again, the now cowed nobles said nothing...

Celestia nodded, "Good, in that case if you'll excuse me...I now have a son who needs to be attending to." She teleports away before she could be stopped.

...

She goes right to the royal physician, they inform her that far as they can tell...he seems healthy.

"Of course, that's mostly guess work. This is a completely new species, I've already talked with other physicians and were going to have to do extensive research on this."

Celestia agreed to this, she then takes up the child into her arms. He was such a scrawny, tiny thing. She knew not what to do with him, or how his future will play out- there was no way in Tarterus she was going to allow what that monster wrote to happen -But she was going to do everything in her power to love and protect this child...

Again, she saw the birthmark on his head, "The big Dipper...Dipper...how about I call you that?What do you think little one?" She took his giggling as a yes.

...She'd never had a child of her own before- out of fear that it would be mortal and she'd outlive it -but she was the ruler of an entire realm, one who'd established a peaceful reign...how hard could it be to raise a child?

...

...how she would curse tempting fate like that...

For the first five months it was -more or less- a simple matter of taking care of a baby...then he learned to walk...and Celestia realized the TRUE flipside of being a parent...watching their child become a spawn of Tarterus itself!

No sooner had he taken his first steps...then he'd figured out how to undo the lock in his crib...

"HOW'D HE GET ON THE ROOF!?"

First Celestia tried to simply replace the basic wooden bolt with an iron bolt, it worked...for a week before Dipper figured out how to unscrew them-

"DIPPER! NO! THAT GUILLOTINE IS NOT A TOY!"

Then she used a lock...an honest to goodness numerical lock...and it worked...Dipper was never able to find out a way to unlock it...

"HOW'D HE GET INTO THE MANTICORE POISON!? WHY DO WE EVEN HAVE THIS!?"

...so instead he just figured out how to unscrew the nuts keeping the crib together...causing it to fall apart...

Celestia just stared with her mouth gaping open at the soot covered guards she'd assigned to watch over Dipper. "How- "We want hazard pay...triple the usual amount...or we quit!" Interrupted the guard annoyed...

Celestia simply facehoofed herself...

...

Indeed, unconfined from his crib, he got into EVERYTHING. He'd collect/steal anything 'interesting' that wasn't nailed down, eat anything that looked 'neat', and explore every nook, cranny, and crawlspace...

Celestia tried to be firm with him, but it was hard...Dipper was unlike most foals she'd read up on, save for the most extreme cases pony foals were for the most part well behaved, fairly clever, weren't very curious and obedient to their parents- if easily panicked at the drop of a hat(it went hand-in-hand with the naturally 'herd' instinct that all ponies shared).

And although Dipper was clever- WAY more clever then most foals his age -he seemed to have a curious, disobedient streak a mile long!

..it left Celestia with little idea on how to handle him...which of course lead to...

"Now Dipper, you must behave yourself! Otherwise...Nightmare moon will swoop down and eat you!" She hated doing this- as it brought on bad memories, plus only encouraged the demonization of her beloved sister...but she was at her wits end!

...Fortunately...it seemed to work! Dipper began to reign in his quirky impulsive tendencies...and although he still dismantled his crib...it was only occasionally, as opposed to multiple times a day...

It worked so well, that Celestia continued at it...she started to Add Discord as a cautionary tale! And again, it seemed to work. Celestia didn't question it...her blood pressure was finally low again...that was all that mattered...

...looking back she should have known better...

Celestia was astounded when At only one year old he began to speak his first words...much to her confusion, instead of the usual 'moma', 'cat', 'dog', etc. that most foals began to say...he instead asked, 'Nightmare moon?' and 'Discord'?

...several months later, after much effort he'd begin to string more words together...and started expanding to 'Who Nightmare Moon?', 'Who Discord?' and 'Tell me.'

Again, weird behavior for a child that age- from a pony perspective -most foals -well most pony's of all ages really -would be content with as little knowledge as possible on such unpleasant subjects and focus on having a happy day...but not Dipper apparently!

Baffled by this very un-pony-like behavior...the guards, servants, and Celestia found themselves answering most of his questions out of simple bewilderment of why he'd want to know such things...

...At age two...

Celestia hummed a happy tune as she walked through the royal garden, her son was progressing quickly, she'd been a bit worried about her decision to get him started on learning to read when he first showed interest at such a young age...but apparently no one told Dipper that most foals his age found books 'boring'. Celestia giggled, despite the bit of a rough start...she was growing very found of her adopted child. Say what you will about him he kept things...'interesting'.

Why there he was now, standing in the middle of the garden, tall, proud, unclothed...next to the statue of discord?

Celestia frowned, Why would he-

Then Dipper ran away from the statue...a statue that Celestia now saw was covered with something-

 **BOOM!**

Celestia's eye twitched and mouth gaped in horror as the statue of Discord exploded, "MY LITTLE PONIES! RUN! DISCORD IS FREE! HE-

 **"OH SWEET MERCY! OH FAUST! I COULDN'T BE IN MORE PAIN! GAH! GAH! GAH! WHY!? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?"**

All of Canterlot and the surrounding cities fell to their knees and clutched their heads as Discord continued to scream into their minds in agony...

...

Turns out Dipper- once told about Discord and Nightmare Moon coming to get him, took a more...'proactive' approach. Again, this shocked everyone with his so very different mindset. Ponies didn't think like that! They loved to avoid thought's of conflicts and strife, much preferring to live their lives in happy bliss. True if a conflict arose they'd try to fight against it...but to strike BEFORE said evil did, to actively prepare and plan for it? For the most part this was completely unheard of!

Even Celestia was floored by this! True, she had plans in place for said evils return...but nothing quite so...AGGRESSIVE! She'd never have thought to blow it up, not only because the risk of setting him free...but also due to the peaceful, herbivore nature that most ponies have that makes them exceedingly reluctant to take another life.

She was also surprised by Dipper's creation, at first she merely thought that Dipper had somehow acquired magically created fireworks...but instead he'd just made his own! After much experimentation he'd apparently learned of a recipe for a potent explosive composed of potassium nitrate (75% by weight), charcoal (15% by weight), and sulfur (10% by weight)...it was an amazing...and also kinda terrifying how easily weapons of destruction came to Dipper...

In any case...Discord was shattered to a thousand pieces...he was still trapped, but forced to endure the feeling of being shattered yet never dying...forever.

...His screams of agony were horrifying and ironically his innate chaos magic made it impossible to put the pieces back together in any conventional way...

...So with a heavy heart Celestia was forced to scatter the pieces so far apart from each other that Discords mind bbecomes too fractured and weak for his screams of agony to torment pony-kind.

Celestia was originally going to put each piece in a separate castle filled with traps and such...but Dipper had the clever idea of simply randomly scattering the pieces all over the world...thus making it impossible for them to be reassembled, since all those small pieces just looked like ordinary rocks...

Celestia complimented his...'unique' ingenuity...however, in concern to his plan to 'deal' with Nightmare Moon-

"NO! I'm not sending you to the moon to blow her up!" "Awwwww, but mom- "NO, buts mister!"

...

As time went on Celestia began to see how much more clever Dipper was becoming, turns out he'd been hiding secret caches of supplies throughout the castle...he'd even gone as far to allow himself to be caught stealing a couple times just to make he guards complacent and allow him to steal more while their guard was down...

...Still...despite this, after the Discord fiasco Dipper calmed down...and several years of peace followed...until...

...age five...

"So your daughter got her cutie mark?" Asked a maid excited, the other maid nodded. "YES! I'm so proud of her! Were having her Cutescenera this weekend!"

"What's a cutie mark?" Both maids looked down at the suddenly appearing unclothed 'prince'.

They told him how a cutie mark is the mark of a 'true' pony, as well as an indicator of their 'destiny'.

"Wow...when do i get mine?" Asked Dipper excited.

The now very nervous maids...being under strict orders -like the rest of the household -by the Princess to allow her to...'ease' Dipper into the idea that he wasn't a pony...simply advised he 'explore various interests until he found one that felt 'right'.'

...They would rue that advise...

...Thanotology Cutie mark...

"Why is their roadkill in your room!?"

...Demonology Cutie Mark...

"DIPPER! BRING BACK CERBERUS! WE NEED HIM TO GUARD THE GATES OF TARTERUS!" Shouted an exhausted Celestia as she chased Dipper ridding said giant three-headed dog through Canterlot...

...pyrologist Cutie Mark...

"HOW DID HE SET THE POOL ON FIRE!?"

...eschatology Cutie mark...

"Dipper, stop giving ponies Existential crisis! -A sentence I never thought I'd ever use..."

...Virology Cutie Mark...

"Why Dipper, why!?"

...Astrology Cutie mark...

"WHY IS THE OBSERVATORY FILLED WITH TREE SAP!?"

...Necromancy Cutie mark...

"DIPPER! I SAID NO MORE ROADKILL IN YOUR ROOM!

...

Celestia sighed...she kept Dipper locked up all day...she didn't want to panic ponies with his appearance...or break poor Dipper's heart with the revelation that he's not a pony...worse, he wasn't meeting anyone his age! How was he to experience the wonders of friendship?

Celestia briefly thought of the two human girls that also survived the 'baby rain'...but immediately dismissed them, if the monsters letter was right...well...best not to take chances.

...come to think of it...the time was drawing near for her to find the 'chosen one' for her apprentice to bring her sister back to her...perhaps she could kill two birds with one stone?

...

Dipper read over one of the few books that Canterlot had on Zebra magic...if his hunch was right...

Then he noticed his mom enter the room...with someone else?

"Dipper...I'd like you to meet Sunset Shimmer, she'll be my new apprentice and I hope you treat her nicely.

Dipper, although feeling awkward being around a filly his age for the first time tried to do as his mom asked and smiled and raised a hand for her to shake.

"H-hello Sunset! I...I hope we'll be friends!" He said nervously.

The little yellow filly just stared at the hairless naked ape for a second... "Your dick is tiny." She pointed out.

Celestia face hoofed...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	203. Alicorn Genesis 2

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

 **...**

 **AN: This chapter was collaborated with Wolvenstrom**

...responses...

...

 **CHARLES RONSON:** I'm locked out of core control- Alpha clearance overridden- What the hell is Omega clearance?

 _(Ted Faro appears via hologram)_

 **SAMINA EBADJI:** Oh no.

 **TED FARO:** Alpha Personnel... Sorry to alarm you, but... I need you to listen, okay? To what I'm about to say. This isn't easy. See, I've... uh, Please, stop trying to access the system, okay? See, what this is about... is... I said stop trying to access the goddamn system! What I'm trying to say is, I can't stop thinking about the ones who'll come after us. Those innocents. Those blameless men- and, and women. We're going to give them knowledge? Like it's a gift?!

 **SAMINA EBADJI:** Ted. Ted, we've talked about this before. APOLLO has three thousand plus failsafe conditions-

 **TED FARO:** It's not a gift, it's a disease! They're the cure, and we're going to give them the disease? Our disease?! No. We can't. And it's not too late... if we're willing to sacrifice.

 **SAMINA EBADJI:** Ted, it doesn't need to be like this.

 **TED FARO:** It already is, Samina. I did it three minutes ago. I've purged APOLLO. It's gone, all of it. Every copy.

 **CHARLES RONSON:** A sacrifice? It's not a sacrifice, it's cultural obliteration, you crazy bastard- millennia of culture-

 **TED FARO:** I'm sorry. Really, I am. But sometimes, to protect innocents... innocents have to die.

 **JACK HARPER:** (appears as a new hologram) Technically I agree...but there's sacrifice...and then there's just being a wastsful moron.

 **Travis Tate** : YOU!?

 **TED FARO** : What the- Who are you- (BEEP!) What the, what happened to my Omega access- Wha- Who are you?! How did you get in- NO! GET AWAY! YOU FOOLS! I'M THE SAVIOR OF THE NEW GOLDEN AGE!(image grows staticy and brief images of armored men grabbing Faro and taking him away).

 **Samina Ebadji** : What? What's going on...who are you?!

 **Jack Harper** : Before I say anything else...you should know that APOLLO is safe-

 **Samina Ebadji:** What!? **  
**

 **Jack Harper** : Faro merely Believed he'd purged it. It's completely fine.

 **Samina Ebadji** : (sigh of relief) Oh, thank god...

 **Travis Tate** : I can't believe this...your here...

 **Charles Ronson** : You know who this is?

 **Travis Tate** : Spooks call him the 'Illusive man' he's the proverbial 'boogeyman' of the espionage world! Him and his CERBERUS!(shakes his head in disbelief) Never thought he'd be here though...

 **Jack harper** : Indeed, Cerberus infiltrated this project. Humanity was putting all it's eggs in one basket after all...needless to say...this made people 'nervous'...

 **Travis Tate** : ...So what happens now?

 **Jack Harper** : That's all up to you...See, although Farro was a moron...he was right about one thing: This is an opportunity for a new beginning...to make things RIGHT. Which is why...I've made my own addition to ZERO HORIZON DAWN.

(a new hologram appears...entitled: HECATE)

 **Ayomide Okilo** : Wha...Hecate? The Greek goddess of magic? What is this?

 **HECATE** : Listen...and I'll explain...

( **PAUSE** )

The Mane six stood stunned by this new developments...for the last hour they'd learned so much...about these humans...about the 'Farro plague'...about ZERO HORIZON DAWN...

"This is amazing! These humans...their technology was so many years ahead of us!" Says Twilight as she examines the hologram amazed.

Celestia nodded with a sad smile, "Indeed it is."

Applejack frowned, "With all due respect your majesty...so far I'm not seeing what this Jack has done to deserve your ire, seems like he did everyone a favor taking down that Farro fool."

"Of course he did everyone a favor!" Exclaims Twilight suddenly, "That monster was going to destroy KNOWLEDGE!" She runs over and hugs her precious books- which for some reason instead of being destroyed at her library had been sent to the Astral plane along with Harper - "Precious, Precious knowledge! I'll never let you out of my sight again!" She gives them a kiss while caressing them lovingly.

Everyone gives her weird looks...Celestia coughs awkwardly, "Yes...ANYWAY! This next part will make it more clear..."

( **UNPAUSE** )

( **FASTFORWARD** )

 **Samina Ebadji:** I...I don't believe this! Magic...magic really exists? **  
**

 **Charles Ronson** : And...there's a whole secret society that practiced it?

 **JACK HARPER** : Well...there used to be.

 **Travis Tate** : ...Dare I ask what happened?

 **Jack Harper** : There was a megalomaniacal dark wizard named Voldemort...who conquered all of wizard kind in the late 1990's-

 **Margo Shĕn** : What? Just like that? Didn't they put up a fight? **  
**

 **Jack Harper** : (looks annoyed)Yes...apparently they put all their hopes into a eleven year old boy with NO experience to save the day FOR them.

 **Travis Tate:**...I'm sorry...what? **  
**

 **Jack Harper** :(rolled his eyes) Apparently he was the 'CHOSEN ONE'-

( **PAUSE** )

"Huh, you'd think that would've worked." Said Applejack confused.

"Certainly worked for us." Agreed Twilight.

"I suspect a 'Cerberus retcon' mixed with a 'deconstruction fic'." Contemplated Pinkie Pie.

...Everyone just looked at her weird...before shrugging in off as 'Pinkie being Pinkie' and starting the hologram up again.

( **UNPAUSE** )

-...naturally the poor boy was killed immediately, Voldemort gained the means to resurrect himself, and the wizarding world- literally having made no other plans and filled with useless adults stuck in a 'fairy tale land where it was always someone Else's job to save them' -quickly folded."

 **Ayomide Okilo** : (reads data) And apparently, he then attacked the 'muggle' world by...wow, this guy was an idiot, has he never heard of 'tactics' or 'war of attrition'?

 **Jack Harper** : ...evidently not...needless to say, although he had quality on his side, muggles had quantity and a better grasp of tactics...thus he lost. But in a last bout of petty spite, he cast a great curse that took all of Wizardkind with him to the grave...and caused all the environmental disasters that made Farro famous-

 **Naoto** : -Which is what gave him the influence and resources to create his dang machines that caused all this- gestures around to everything - in the first place!(shakes head in disbelief) Hard to believe one lunatic could cause so much death and destruction LONG after he was dead...

 **Jack Harper** : Naturally, we covered up the whole thing. Not hard considering all the disasters that came after...During that time...we researched the 'remains' to figure out how their magic worked...and shorty before the Farro plague occurred...we discovered it. By the time we figured a way to harness it properly, it was too late to save mankind...but now, now we have so much more options...

 **Patrick Brochard-Klein** : Hold on, I may not know a lot about 'magic' but I'm well versed in biology. And by the looks of this data...simply saturating a 'muggle' genome with raw magic is more likely to kill it then anything! And it doesn't look like you have enough 'wizard' DNA to integrate into all of the cradle facilities either, so that's out!

 **Charles Ronson** : And saturating every other living thing on the planet with magic? ...there's no predicting how that'll shape out! So many crazy new species popping out of the wood work! Manticore! Basilisks! Griffins, ding-Dang Dragons for all we know! Humanity will never survive in all that!

 **Jack Harper** : Saturating the world with magic...if done right, will increase the power of the new residence of earth exponentially, allowing them to manipulate the forces of nature as a child would a tinker toy. Some of my analysts theorize that one day evolution on such a world might produce someone capable of controlling the sun! Or more!

 **Patrick Brochard-Klein** : You haven't answered our question...

 **Jack Harper** : (sigh) Very well, your right...humans wouldn't survive such an ordeal...but a NEW, BETTER race will...

...

And the conversation on the hologram basically fell apart after that, the 'Illusive man' tried to convince the Alphas to help him bring this about...but they refused...he then asked if they would at least step aside and allow him to do this on his own...they again refused. With a heavy sigh...Jack Harper then fills the room with a knock out gas...and has his men drag them out...

 **Jack Harper** : minds such as your are terrible things to waist...hopefully in time...you'll help bring about my goal...

It goes on a bit more...telling how, horse DNA was found to be the best conduit for raw magical energy, apparently they cannibalized all the human DNA stock in all Cradles to create the ponies and makes sure they'd have human intelligence...they then added 'normal' Pegasus and Unicorn DNA to diversify the whole lot...

( **PAUSE** )

The Mane six were stunned by all this...they didn't know what to say...what COULD they say?

Celestia was the first to speak up; "I know that this is a lot to take in...and I know the concept of being 'princesses' has been- more or less -thrown at you without warning..." Celestia sighed.

"My sweet little ponies...I won't lie to you, Twilight alone was supposed to gain this gift- I mean no offense toward any of you, but the fact is I have been grooming her for this position almost her whole life. How to be a learned, diplomatic leader- She looks at the other five awkwardly..."and you five...well...

"Are a farmer, fashion expert, 50% cake, veterinarian, and speedster junkie." Listed out Applejack with a sigh, "It's okay your majesty, we know who we are..and were proud of it...but I can rightly see why that would be a concern for you." She conceded reluctantly.

Celestia smiled, "Thank you for understanding, ordinarily I'd try to help you properly acclimatize better to your new roles...but we don't have time. The strange and malevolent force that 'tampered' with Twilight's ascension has set events in motion that may spell the doom of Equestria. So I'm afraid you'll have to settle for a 'crash course'." She points toward the image of the human still inside the cell under Canterlot castle.

"Your first lesson...voting to decide his fate..."

...

The Illusive man sighed as he looked toward the two princesses that interrogated him, "I resigned myself that I would do horrible thing for what I thought was right. I had a motto to do what I must and let history judge after-wars...of course...I never thought I'd live to see that last part...in any case, I've given you all the facts, laid out all my crimes...I regret none, your presence here is vindication of all I did, far as I'm concerned. Now...I shall let you decide my you decide, I'll abide..."

( **PAUSE** )

The mane 6 watched his confession stunned...they also looked through the laptop at all the other 'projects' that Cerberus had done...some was beneficial and benevolent...but others were just horrifying.

"Coup's, Grabs, sponsoring revolutions, tampering with elections, blackmail, assassination, character assassination, brainwashing, kidnapping, human experimentation...it's like a horror movie here!" Shouts Twilight!

Celestia nods, "Indeed, for all this PLUS him exterminating his own race...I'm going to vote for him to be sent to Tarturus." The mane six gasp at this, that punishment hadn't been used in centuries!

They turned to Luna who just snorted, "I don't think it needs to be said what my opinion is of wiping out any race, let alone your own." She said firmly, siding with her sister.

Applejack nodded, "The only other thing I could say it was, was lazy." She said flatly.

Rarity nodded her agreement, "Indeed on the one hand he's like the nobility I put up with every day. Instead of fixing something that's broken, he just throws it out and replace it with something bigger and more jewel encrusted."

Raiinbow Dash glares, "Uh...you realize that analogy kinda indirectly insults all ponies, right?"

Rarity frowns, "Oh, right...might need to work on that. In any case, on the other hand- She takes a deep breath knowing what she was about to say won't go over well -Look, what he did was unforgivable...but for better or for worse his actions are the reason we even exist! I hate to say this, but we can't just pretend that's not a THING here! It's too big!"

most of the others gasp at this. "Rarity, he murdered his whole race!" Pointed out Twilight, "This wasn't a 'needs of the many' situation. It was not a do or die scenario. He wasn't forced to chose between two groups and sacrifice one so another...He 'could' have saved his own species, but he chose not to."

Rarity groaned, "I'm not saying he's NOT guilty...maybe...but maybe...he's also kinda...NOT not guilty-ish? Or...GAH! I don't know what I'm saying! I'm sorry, I'm just trying to do the right thing here!" She admits distressed.

Rainbow Dash sighed, "I REALLY hate to say this...but Rarity's right."

Applejack glared, Rainbow glares right back. "Don't give me that look! you think I like it? Of course I don't. But I can't just say "thanks for creating the world and everyone in it, now go rot in a hole somewhere." Sure. He sacrificed his people to do it, and sure he didn't 'have' to. But I'm not going to feel guilty that I, or you or any pony or dragon or gryphon or any one else is alive because of it. I'm not sorry I'm ALIVE." She says firmly

Twilight sighed, Rainbow and rarity were making some fairly good points...but still... "No one is asking you to feel guilty for existing. But the fact remains he chose to let his species die. He can't be let off for that. We can't say "you killed millions of innocent sentient's for no reason. But its the reason we're alive, so I guess we'll call it even."

She then turns to Pinkie and Fluttershy...just standing off alone. "Girls? You've been awfully quiet..is everything okay?"

...drip...drip...

"I...(sniff)...I can't do it..." Says Pinkie quietly, her mane unnaturally flat and lifeless...and covering her face... "I hate how it happened...but I can't deny that I owe him for me- Mom, dad, grandma pie, my sisters Maude, Limestone, and Marble! ALL MY FRIENDS! -being around in the first place!"

She whips back her hair- Everyone gasps -Pinkie was crying! "I HAVE TO VOTE HIM INNOCENT! I'M A BAD PONY!" She falls down to the floor and sobs, everyone races toward her and comforts her.

After Pinkie Pie calms down, Twilight- reluctantly -turns to Fluttershy. "Dare I ask how you feel about all this?"

Fluttershy just frowns, "Honestly...this whole thing doesn't feel right, this decision...it affects ALL of Equestria?"

Twilight frowns, "What are you saying?"

Fluttershy musters up her courage, "I'm saying, we should have ALL of the kingdoms of the earth, every citizen who wishes to...vote for his fate. For better or for worse...he created us all, everyone should have a say in how he's punished."

After some more back and forth...it's agreed that Fluttershy's idea has merit...and so it's decided that they'll go along with it.

Celestia nods, "Right...now that that's over with-

"WE CAN GET TO THE CRAZY STUFF!" Shouts Discord as he appears in a puff of smoke dressed as KISS rocking out and flapping his large tongue about.

Celestia rolls her eyes, but waits for him to finish. Once done, he turns to her. "Right then, sun-butt. What's the buzz today?"

Ignoring the dig, Celestia continued. "Discord...have you ever heard of a chaos spirit named...Slenderman?"

It was at that moment, the ponies saw something they NEVER thought they'd see...Discord was TERRIFIED!

"...get the elements...and turn me back to stone...NOW!"

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	204. 2 brothers plus 2 siblings equals what?

**Tales of the falls  
**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon and BarnesandNoble.**

...

Azazel knew immediately something was wrong...which made no sense...The hell gate was open...his soldiers were flooding the earth...Sam was alive...Dean would be sent to hell in a year...so why did he feel so uneasy?

 **Squick**

Azazel looked down and saw the sword in his gut...right before he burst into flames and died. Dean and Sam Winchester gaped in disbelief as their sworn enemy was killed by a faceless creature wearing a business suite...

Slenderman smirked as he sealed the Hell Gate and summoned the Colt to his hand. Then he vanished-

 **GAH!**

The Winchester boy screamed out in pain as Slenderman appeared behind them, plunged his hands into their backs...and ripped out two mysterious orbs?

Slenderman smirked. **"So...I've killed the demon who ruined your life...sealed the gates of hell...oh, and of course took away your horrible destines and the debt Dean owed for the deal...YOUR WELCOME!"** Shouts Slenderman as he vanished in a puff of smoke.

Dean, Sam, Ellen, and Bobby just stared at where he vanished in disbelief...no one knew what to make of what just happened...and then Slenderman returned! **"Oh, FYI I'm giving these destines to two other schmucks...so you might want to do something about that."** He stated casually as he vanished yet again...this time dropping a GPS locator...

...A week later...

A certain Impala drives past a 'Welcome to Gravity Falls' sign...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	205. 2 brothers plus 2 siblings equals what2

**Tales of the falls  
**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon and BarnesandNoble.**

...

 _Wendy panicked as she backed up against the wall...Tambry screamed as she was ripped apart pixel by pixel, lee begged for mercy as the cereal mascot tore out his organs and gobbled them up, Nate cried for his mom as he exploded inside the microwave, Thompson sobbed as the arrows sliced through his skin and muscle..._

 _The possessed Mable drew closer to the terrified Red-head...all seemed lost..._

 _"Who wants a lamby-lamby?"_

Wendy Corduroy gasped as she woke up with a start...and that's when it really hit her...

 _...I...I nearly died last night...I was nearly killed by GHOSTS...ghosts are REAL...and I'm only alive because..._ She trailed off as she found her gaze drawn to the Pine Trees outside her window...

 _Because of Dipper..._

...later...

Wendy pretended to read...but she couldn't focus...all she could think of was the 12 year old boy who had risked his life and sacrificed his dignity to save her life...She risked a glance over to him as he read that book of his without a care when he wasn't looking...

Little did she know...he was doing the same...Now this game of 'I look, you look' might have gone on for hours...except-

"Hey, Mr. Pines, what's that code word I'm supposed to yell when I see a government vehicle?" Asked Soos.

"Wait, what?" Stan goes near Soos and looks outside the window too. "Government vehicle?" Sure enough an Impala with very official looking Fed plates rides up into the driveway.

"The Mystery Shack is now closed, everybody out! I will not hesitate to use the hose on the elderly!" Shouts Stan suddenly.

"Grunkle Stan, what's happening?" Asked Mable. "Yeah, you never shut down the gift shop." Said Dipper.

Stan ignores them as he walks nervously to the gift shop door, a door bell ring is heard and a few knocks after it.

Stan Opens the door with a big smile. "Welcome to the Mystery Shack, gentlemen! What can I get you? Stan takes out a snow globe and an U.F.O key chain of his jacket. Key chains? Snow globes? These rare photos of American presidents? Stan pulls a five dollar bill out of his sleeve as he begins to sweat...

Two men stand in the doorway in front of Stan, showing their government I.D. cards. "My name is Agents Ford and this is Agent Hamill, we're here to investigate reports of suspicious activity in this house."

Stan looks at their I.D.'s and nods. "Of course! I think I know what this is about...funny story actually...I have documents in the back that go into more details if I may- He points to the back as he trails off.

"Of course, go ahead. Take your time." Says Ford. Stan nods and quickly goes to the back. Dipper then curiously walks up to them. "Uh excuse me...but do I know you guys?"

Hamill looks at the kid surprised then chuckles. "You know, I get that a lot? I guess I'm just one of those faces-

"DIPPER GET AWAY FROM THOSE TWO NOW!" Everyone turned around to see Grunkle Stan wielding a gun!

The two agents quickly put their hands up in surprise. "Whoa! Hold on buddy!" Shouts Hamill.

"No, you hold on! I know a fake I.D. when I see one! What are you trying to pull here!?"

"Okay, okay! Your right! Were sorry! But we think something really bad is about to happen to this place!"

Stan rolled his eyes. "Could you be more vague?"

"No listen. Alright, my real name is Sam and this is my brother-

"DEAN!" Interrupts Dipper in disbelief. "Dean Winchester?"

The two men looked at him surprised. "Yes, how did you- All talking stopped as Dipper pulled a book out of his backpack...but not just any book...

 **SUPERNATURAL: The series...**

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	206. 2 brothers plus 2 siblings equals what3

**Tales of the falls  
**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon and BarnesandNoble.**

...

"Wendigo...Dead in the Water...Phantom Traveler...Bloody Mary...Skin? Who names this junk?" Asked Dean as he looks over Dipper's 'supernatural' book collection.

"Forget that Dean, these book have EVERYTHING: our missions, our movements, our ENEMIES movements, our thoughts, our feelings- wait, is that what you really thought about me when we were hunting that ghoul in Mississippi?" He asks annoyed.

Dean takes the book away and paled as he read it, "Okay, wow...sorry- I know I should be apologizing for that...but this is some creepy shit."

"It doesn't make any sense." They turn around to see the boy who'd showed them THEIR series. "Your last mission sounds like the 2nd arc finale 'all hell breaks loose'...but the way you described it...it happened completely different then what the book showed!"

The Winchester looked at said book...and he was right...up till the end it very accurately portrayed their mission at the hellgate...but at the end it suddenly went 'off-book'(so to speak). For one thing, that creepy man with no face was nowhere in sight...

"That's weird, why would it go into such elaborate detail...but mess it up in the end?" Asked Sam confused. Indeed, not only was the writing comprehensive...but each book had beautifully detailed illustrations, diagrams, blueprints, glossaries, limited dictionary/encyclopedia/thesaurus footnotes, footnotes WITHIN footnotes.

"Never mind that! How many books are there?!" Asked Dean is disbelief as he viewed all the shelves of books that Dipper owned. "218 books, 10 story arcs in all!" Said dipper proudly. "The only reason arc's 11-13 haven't been published is because author Stanley, Lenderman refuses to do Arc 11 'as it is'...whatever that means..."

"Don't you mean you have three times as many books? Counting the two other copies of each book- one that was autographed and one's that are 'collector items'...nerd." Teased Mable.

Before Dipper could make a comeback-

 **FWOOM!**

 **GAH!**

Screamed Mable as she fell into a hell portal that opened up below her, "MABLE!" Shouted everyone as they ran to where the portal just closed-

 **FWOOM!**

-Only for Mable to come out another portal in the ceiling? Mable huddled in a fetal position sobbing, "I-I saw things..." She whimperd.

"What the blood just happened?" Demanded Stan.

 **"Allow me to shed some LIGHT on the subject."** Said a dark chilling voice as the room was illuminated with so much light, everyone was practically blind...when they could see...their stood Slenderman.

Stan, Dean and Sam quickly brought up their guns and fired...only for the bullets to freeze and clatter to the ground in mid-air. Slenderman swept their guns into dust with a wave of his hand. **"Right...congratulations Winchesters of earth S-345! I thank you for your participation in my little 'crossover' of earth** **GF-780!"** He explains while pointing toward the twins.

"Say what now?" Asked Dean. **"Oh...was I not clear? Well, basically, I've merged your two worlds...well...I merged your world and bits and pieces of theirs-** points again to the twins **-...the parts that mattered anyway. I even did you a favor and took away your destiny of being Lucifer and Micheal's meat puppets, and Lilith's contract with Dean...so yeah...your welcome."**

"Wait, Micheal and Lucifer? What are you talking about?"

 **"I'd tell you...but let's give the rabid fanboy a turn."** He says as he points toward Dipper...who was indeed biting at the bit...

...One Looooong explanation later...

- **Okay, you know what? This is taking too long even WITH the time skip. Bottom line: I gave your crappy destinies to the twins."**

"Wait, what!?" Shouted everyone. **"That's right!"** He turns to Mable. **"Your brothers about to become the anti-christ!"** "What?" Squeaked Mable

 **-AND you'lll be forced to murder him on judgement day!"** "What?!" She squeaked again.

 **-Of course, that's ONLY if you survive being ripped apart by a hellhound and your soul dragged to hell for eternity."** It was official...Mable was in 'Sweater town'.

Stan glared, "Now wait just a minute-

 **Well, this chapter has gone on long** **enough!"** Shouts Slenderman rapidly. **Three quick things: 1: everytime Mable mocks/teases/belittles Dipper she'll be dropped into hell temporarily, if she tries tow in Waddles I will drag her to hell and even the demons will cringe at how brutal I kick the crap out of her, and FINALLY; time is practically an illusion here in gravity falls so don't be surprised if the hellhound comers sooner! Also BUY GOLD, BYE!"**

And with that Slenderman was gone...leaving some confused as blood teens and adults...a sobbing Mable...and a hysterical Dipper...who was now rembering every death in the books: 1141 humans (of which 9 were witches), 1112 angels, 180 demons, 69 vampires, 51 ghosts, 36 Jefferson Starships, 22 gods, 19 zombies, 12 werewolves, 10 hellhounds, 7 shapeshifters, 7 skinwalkers, 6 changelings, 5 djinn, 5 reapers, 4 dogs, 4 ghouls, 4 Leviathan, 3 Khan Worms, 2 Amazons, 2 arachnes, 2 kitsunes, 2 rugarus, 2 Thule, 2 vetalas, 1 cat, 1 crocotta, Death, 1 deer, 1 dragon, 1 fairy, 1 familiar, 1 lamia, the Mother of All, 1 okami, 1 phoenix, 1 pishtaco, 1 Purgatory creature, 1 rakshasa, 1 rawhead, 1 shojo, 1 shtriga, 1 siren, 1 Titan, 1 wendigo, 1 whore of Babylon, 1 wicked witch, and 1 wraith...and how he'd now be the one who had to kill them all...or destroy the world trying...

 _"This was a LOT more fun when it wasn't happening to me."_ Whimpered Dipper...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	207. 2 brothers plus 2 siblings equals what4

**2 brothers plus 2 siblings equals what?**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...

It was doubtful that ANYONE got any sleep that night. Stan and Dean were arguing over how best to handle the situation, and Sam, Soos, Wendy and Dipper were painstakingly going over all the 'Supernatural' books to find something, ANYTHING they could use.

On the plus side, Sam was getting a lot of Info to pass onto Bobby so other hunters could stop incidents before they happen, thus rendering many- as Dipper put it -'filler' episodes moot.

As for the something that could actually help them...

"The reason nothing ever seems to be able to go right for the brothers is a result of the mirrors they broke in "Bloody Mary"?" Asks Sam outloud as he reads a sticky note Dipper had apparently used as a bookmark in one of the books.

"Oh- Ignore that! Just a fan theory I wrote down for reference!" He gives him another book. Sam reads it, "Wait...we discover a book series about us...INSIDE the book series about us?"

Dipper nods, "Yeah, except it's written by the prophet Chuck...who MIGHT actually be God in disguise."

Sam looked at him dumbfounded...then coughs nervously, "Right...just, let's just put a pin in that for now." He turns back to the books and sighs, "On top of everything we don't even have the colt anymore...

Dipper then gets an idea, "Hold right there!" He runs off and brings another book, _"Dead Man's Blood: Blacklight edition! Like everyone else I believed it was just a marketing gimmick to make people buy another copy of the book-  
_

"Which didn't stop you from buying it anyway, weirdo!" Teased Mable- "GAH!" Right before she got sucked to down to hell again...

"MABLE!" Screamed Dipper...only for a shivering Mable to be shot back out again.

Sam rubbed his face, "Why Mable? Just...why? This is the fifth time you've been sent to hell- "IT'S A REFLEX! WERE SIBLINGS! HE LIKES NERD THINGS! I CAN'T KEEP MY STUPID MOUTH SHUT!" She sobs hysterically.

After Mable had calmed down, Dipper proceeds to show Sam the 'invisible' blueprints of the colt. "This...this is amazing! With this we can make a new colt!" Exclaims Sam.

Dipper awkwardly coughed into his hand. Sam looked up at the pre-teen boy, "Yes?"

"Uhhhh...I may have already built one...just to see if I could..."

Mable Laughed, "HA! Ne- SMACK!

Wendy whacks her on the head, knocking her down.

"...Thank you Wendy...I needed that." Groaned Mable from the floor.

"I couldn't make the bullets though. The ingredients were too exotic." Continued Dipper

Sam looks down at the blueprint and nods, "A coating of holy oil, sage and myrrh is applied over a silver bullet. The caster then recites the following incantation to imitate the etchings on the original bullets: " _Signum est imitandum. Signum est imitandum._ "" He looks up, don't worry about that. Just get your colt, I'll make some calls. We'll work it out."

...

Dean slammed his foot against a tree, "Stubborn idiot!" He snarls, he'd spent 5 hours convincing that old git to let hem take the twins somewhere safe...he'd finally relented...but only if he was allowed to come along...

He goes by the coke machine to get something, and sees Wendy there too. She turns to him concerned, "Look, I know I'm over my head here...but...Dipper will be okay right?!" She asks frantic

Dean looked at her confused, "Uh...you mean Dipper AND the rest of the Pines family, right?" Asked Dean.

Wendy blushed, "Right, yes, of course..."

Dean looks at her...amused? "Am I out of line here...or are you looking to do your shopping in the 'junior' section?" He teases.

Wendy sputters, "What, no! He's...he's...(sigh) too young..." She admits that last part depressed.

Dean gets more somber and gives her a comforting hand on the shoulder, "Hey...some friendly advice? Live every moment like your only seconds away from getting ripped to pieces by a monster...with no regrets." He says firmly.

Leaving a now thoughtful/horrified Wendy...Dean smirks. "Not even a teen...and he's already got a cougar...lucky kid..." Takes a drink.

...

Wendy walks through the woods to get some herbs Sam needs for the ritual...she thinks long and hard about what Dean says...the nods, "What the blood? You only live once! I'm going for it!" She shouts as she turns back-

 **CRACK!**

Just as a large tree falls down on her and caves her skull in...

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	208. A pig or a friend? 9: RasenganFin

Tales of the Falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

 **Wicked.A:** Eventually they figured out how to keep thoughts hidden...until then...it got very awkward, ...I can't remember, I might have found it on fimfiction but I don't know, what? ,your doubts were confirmed, what do you mean? , wait for next chapter...it gets worse. also thanks!

 **Gamelover41592:** thanks

 **ImperialStar:** thank you

 **The Howling Behemoth:** thank you

 **NyaNyaKittyFace:** wait for the next chapter, things get WORSE.

...

The day had been going well...Dipper got his journal back from Stan, Stan still recovering from the beat down from her dad was mostly letting them run the show, the party celebrating Gideon's downfall was in full swing, Thompson lost his top, and Wendy had just sabotaged Mable's karaoke machine...'love patrol alpha' had been stopped before it could even begin...all in all a good party

She wished Dipper would come back from talking to those weird government agents that had just shown up...she wanted to-

 **WhY wErE wE bEtRaYeD?!**

 **BlOoD oN yOuR hAnDs NoRtHwEsT!**

 **AlL wE wAnTeD wAs A pArTy!**

A hundred voices flooded her mind...she almost fell over, it was too much! And then the screaming started, she turned around and saw zombies! She also saw the twins running and ran after them, once they were safely inside...

 **CRACK!**

She slammed Mable against the wall, "What did you do this time Mable!?" She demanded.

"Wait! No! It was me!" Said Dipper quickly. He explains the situation and apologizes, Wendy then let's Mable down and apologizes to her.

Mable glared as she dusted herself off, "Gee thanks." She said sarcastically.

Wendy glares, "Come on, after that stunt you pulled at the bunker I had every right to suspect you."

Mable opens her mouth to protest...then thinks better of it...then sighs in resignation, "Yeah... I probably would have done that at some point."

Dipper then realized something, "Considering that statistically half of the zombies are male, I'm surprised you haven't tried to flirt with any yet." Teased Dipper.

Mable shuddered, "Only the most socially stunted and hormonal driven girl would be attracted to Zombies." Wendy nods in agreement, "Yeah she'd have to have thick glasses an emotionless almost manish voice and be the frumpiest looking girl in existence."

In any case Dipper uses his blacklight to look over the zombie section of the journal, "According to this...singing in a three part harmony will shatter there skulls!"

"YAY! KARAOKE TIME!" Shouts Mable.

Wendy pales, "Uh...actually, I think the zombies dinged up your karaoke machine." She lied smoothly.

"Awwwww", Groaned Mable in disappointment at the latest paradigm shift from 'family love'.

Wendy the remembered all the weird voices she'd heard, "Hey Dipper...dose the journal say anything about TALKING to zombies?"

...

Turns out such instances were only possible for either necromancers or people with a connection to the victim. A quick ritual allowed Wendy to communicate with them-

 **CRACK!**

The twins jumped back in fright as their friend punched through a wall, eyes as flaming as her hair...

"New plan...help them and then destroy them." She said flatly. Neither of the Pines dared to disagree.

...

Pacifica Northwest was relaxing in her Olympic sized bubble bath eating bon-bon's after another day of being more awesome then everyone else, she reached for another candy pulled it to her mouth...only to see she'd grabbed a dismeboddied hand!"

Pacifica screamed, and then she heard splashes she looked around and saw that zombies were falling into her pool by the dozens! She jumped out and ran to get her clothes-

 **ROAR!**

Seeing the zombie tear apart her clothes made her decide to forget modesty and just save her skin! She ran naked through the hallways, Zombies smashing everything and eating the servant.

quickly, Pacifica ran to the private helicopter...only for her heart to sink as it was already off...with her parents! "Sorry Sweetie! But there's not enough room for all of us, you understand?"

Pacifica just watched devastated as her only hope to escape this nightmare left...zombies were swarming the mansion grounds and the mansion itself!

Having no where else to go and zombies gaining fast, she's forced to jump off the roof and onto a low hanging to dangle helplessly over a horde of ravenous zombies!

Seeing their gnashing teeth below her...naturally made Paciffica wet herself...

"OkAY!" Shouts a flusterd Dipper suddenly, "Pacifica isn't my favorite person, and I went along with this scheme to allow Wendy to get vengeance for her family...but this is crossing a line!"

He, and Wendy (Mable wanted nothing to do with this whole creepy business and stayed at the shack) were on the edge of the estate, taping Pacifica's humiliation...

Wendy sighed, but nodded. "Alright, I'll send the owl." They send a messenger owl telling Pacifica they'll save her...if she gives them all her family's bank account numbers

Not having a choice, a terrified Pacifica uses the pen provided in the letter to write down all the necessary info. Dipper quickly uses a laptop to drain all of the Northwest bank accounts dry.

Now came the tricky part...Wendy's 'connection' with the Zombies was tenuous, the only reason it worked as well as it did was because Wendy had directed them to the source of their rage. So they had to get ride of the zombies the old fashioned way.

It would be hard with two voices...but Dipper had repaired and modified the Karaoke machine, it would now give a third synthezied voice to them.

...together...they sung...

 **I can't be afraid**  
 **The world needs me**  
 **Everybody sees me every day**  
 **I can't be afraid!**

The zombies perk up to listen...

 **Good will find a way**  
 **That's what they tell me**  
 **But as long as there's evil**  
 **A hero has to rise...**

 **(Chorus)**  
 **But I don't have to stand alone against a thousand armies**  
 **I've got an army of my own!**

 **And we're shouting out**  
 **Tonight, we see the stars collide!**  
 **Cause as long as we're alive, we're fighting back tonight!**

The zombies begin to shake...

 **(Verse 2)**  
 **Waking from a bad dream into a nightmare,**  
 **Stepping out and one again there's panic in the air**  
 **The sky is red and smoke darkens the horizon**  
 **I guess once again a force or foe is terrorizing.**

 **My heart stops when the clock stops ticking**  
 **Cause I know I've gotta help while I'm alive and kicking**  
 **I remember days were never black but that's over**  
 **Now that every day a demon's back**  
 **And I've had it.**

The first of their heads begins to explode...

 **(Chorus)**  
 **But we don't have to stand alone against a thousand armies**  
 **We've got an army of our own!**

 **And we're shouting out**  
 **Tonight, we see the stars collide!**  
 **Cause as long as we're alive, we're fighting back tonight!**

The zombies in the mansion explode...starting a fire...

 **(Interlude)**  
 **And so you want to start a war**  
 **You don't know what I have in store**  
 **I've never felt this way before**  
 **And you can't stop me anymore**

 **And so you want to start a war**  
 **You don't know what I have in store**  
 **I've never felt this way before**  
 **And you can't stop me anymore**

Pacifica screams as the zombies make another swipe at her...then let's out a sigh of relief as the explode...

 **(Chorus)**  
 **And we're shouting out**  
 **Tonight, we see the stars collide!**  
 **Cause as long as we're alive, we're fighting back tonight!**

-Only to immediately cry out in pain as the explosions cause the tree to fall with her in it...hitting the ground crying in agony as the tree pins her...

 **And we're shouting out**  
 **Tonight, we see the stars collide!**  
 **Cause as long as we're alive, we're fighting back tonight!**

Wendy drops the mic...and they leave the ruins of the mansion to burn...

...

"You have a lovely singing voice." Compliments Dipper as they enter the Shack.

Mable shakes her head as the video of pacifica go viral, "Did you have to release the zombies while she was in the bath?"

Dipper blushed, "Yeah...that really was going too far." he admitted with a blush.

Mable chuckles, "You'd think after all the times seeing Wendy's naughty parts you'd be use to this bro- In fact, maybe YOU should give Wendy a show!" She joked as she chugged a cola.

"Hey, that's not a bad idea, fair's fair. You should drop trou, Dipper. Tit for tat." Said Wendy suddenly. Mable naturally gaged and almost chocked on her drink at this unexpected turn of events- she hadn't been serious!

Dipper blushes, "Wh- wait! You saw me naked back at the arcade!" He realizes quickly.

Wendy shakes her head with a smirk, "Nice try. But we both know that between the fact your shorter then me and the fact I was too exhausted from all those survival horror games, I didn't see squat...or at least nothing juicy in any case..."

Dipper then just decides to flee, but Wendy playfully grabs him and holds him down, "Nope! Forget it buddy, this is happening!" An uncomfortable Mable just leaves despite Dipper pleading...and then he just starts to panic...and cry.

Wendy quickly clams him down, "Hey come on man...whether it's the size of a peanut or the size of soos's Arm- _"since his pants aren't bulging I know it's not that big"_ She thinks to herself -I promise not to laugh."

Dipper sniffed... "It's the former." He confessed with shame.

Wendy winches in sympathy, but still says, "I'm sure your exaggerating..but tell you what? If I laugh...like at all, I give you my paycheck for the next year, how's that?"

Dipper sighs...but agrees...and quickly just drops his pants down and stands there silently waiting for her judgement...

"Huh...kinda anti-climatic." Says Wendy finally.

Dipper looked up, "wha?"

Wendy shrugged, "It's not small...but it's not big...it's just average really." She admitted simply.

Dipper looked stunned, "But...but Giffany kept teasing me for my 'shortcoming'!"

Wendy rolled her eyes, "Yeah like a Japanese AI magic girl would know anything about 'real' guys...or maybe you finally hit puberty, 'grew' and just didn't notice? She shrugs again, "either way, I'm telling you, your average."

Dipper looks at his junk confused, THIS was 'average' sized? "but the videos...?" He trails off embarrassed realizing what he'd just admitted.

"What videos? Have you been watching adult films online?" Asked Wendy smirking. Dipper just stays silent giving Wendy the answer she needs "oh my god Dipper those guys are huge cause they hold auditions for guys like that, plus you're just starting puberty dude, it's gonna get bigger. Now pull your pants up!" She teased.

Dipper- Embarrassed, yet oddly full of more self-confidence turns around to pull his pants up and gives Wendy an eye full of butt which has seen the benefits of running/dodging/exercising all summer from every terror this cesspit had thrown at him, she blushed as her heart raced, confusing her emotionally before she decides "I'm gonna stick with him more." She says to herself...

...

"Hello? Anyone?" Asked a still naked Pacifica pinned under a tree. "I'm still here!" Again, her voice echos across her now burned down home, the servants either dead or fled. Pacifca sighed, "Calm down pacifica...it was a big blaze...someone is bound to notice and come rescue you...right?" She asks herself...

She was half-right...

"Time for a new queen boys." Says Jeff excitedly...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Song is 'Fighting back' by Black 'Gryph0n' and Baasik**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	209. Sunset Rises 2

Sunset Rises

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

Gamelover41592: for now...

RasenganFin: I like it

The Howling Behemoth: thank you

Wicked.A: I thought you'd like that...

...

...3 months later...

The Summer Sun Celebration was in full swing as the three alicorn trotted onto the fairground, "Wow! The last three months were intense!" Exclaimed Princess Candace.

Princess Sunset nodded, "I know! The surfer zombie contest, the giant squids from outer space, and I enjoyed a brief but memorable stint as 'sideshow Sunset'."

"And I learned the true meaning of Columbus day!" Exclaimed Princess Celestia happily...then frowned thoughtfully. "Which was VERY weird considering it's a minor holiday that only has relevance in another universe." She admitted confused.

Sunset nodded, "But more importantly it's given me time to patch things up with Celestia, come to terms with the trauma of seeing my world and friends die, accept that the future is already messed up due to my interference so I might as well make the most if it, apparently made friends with Candace somehow. And thus all the angst in my life has been dealt with and we can get on with the story...of our lives."

Celestia nodded, "Indeed, and now we are here today to gather the six soon-to-be element bearers as fillies in the hope that they'll start a friendship earlier!"

She turned to Fourth wall, "We all caught up?"

'Fourth wall', the royal wall builder and part time archivist nodded as he wrote down the summary into his ledger...and then walked out of the story...

Sunset shielded her eyes as she saw the flying royal chariot that would bring filly versions of her friends...

Sunset smiles as she spreads out her wings in anticipation, "Today is truly the first day of the rest of my NEW life..." She says happily-

"LITTLE GIRL! LET GO OF THE REIGNS!"

"YEE-HAW!"

Screamed a filly named Pinkie Pie as she hijacked the chariot and caused it to-

 **CRASH!**

"WHY!?"

"MOMMY!"

"YOU MANIAC!"

"MY DRESS! IT'S RUINED!"

"MY LEG!"

Sunset face hooved as she want to get her six filly friends out from under the crashed chariot...and fifty pounds of boiled puffer fish...

...

Unknown to all, a lone figure spied on the whole scene from afar, "It's go time." He whispered. "Whatever creep." Chuckled the rainbow colored unicorn filly next to him.

"Do you want my allowance for the next month or not?"

..."Fine."

...

"So in conclusion...let the rainbow remind you!" Exclaimed Sunset.

Candace turned to her, "Okay, now that's just corny."

Sunset glared, "I'd like to see you improvise better in a pinch!" She hissed from the side of her mouth. Things had naturally taken a downturn after the 'crash'. Fluttershy and Twilight were now terrified of Pinkie. Rainbow was egging Pinkie to do more and to race her. And applejack vomiting all over Rarity's dress had nearly sparked into a brawl!

Quickly, the three Princesses intervened. Sunset hadn't wanted to resort to this so soon...but she pointed out how they each got their cutie marks from a violent flash of rainbow light...and let them connect the dots...

It...seemed to sorta work...true, Rainbow was MORE annoying now-

"I MADE SIX CUTIE MARKS APPEAR OUT OF THIN AIR! I'M MORE AWESOME THEN I THOUGHT!"

-But at least they were getting along now...well, Twilight and Fluttershy were heading off on their own to enjoy some quiet...rainbow, Applejack and Pinkie were going off to out do each other in contests...and Rarity was going off on her own to make a new dress at the arts and crafts...bu they weren't fighting and most of them were getting along with each other!...that was progress...right?

Celestia put her hoof on the pony that had become like her daughter in all but blood, "It's fine Sunset...I'll think of another way-

"NO! They...they were the best of friends! I can make this work! I- Candance runs over to start massaging her shoulders, "It's okay, big girl...why don't we get you some nice sympathy tea and chocolate?"

Sunset sighed, told the girls not to stray too far and where to meet up later...and joined her fellow alicorns for a good long sulk and confectionery gorging...

And thus...did not see what was about to transpire...

...

Rarity smiled at the darling new ensemble she'd made...and it was all thanks to her new friend- "I'm sorry, darling...what was your name again?" Asked rarity. "Mable, Mable Pines!" Gushed the rainbow colored unicorn filly.

...

"I can't believe I lost at the horse shoe toss..." Said Rainbow despondent. "I can't believe I lost either." Responded an equally dumbstruck Applejack, they both looked at the the rainbow filly that had beaten them...

...

"HOORAY!HOORAY!HOORAY!HOORAY!HOORAY!HOORAY!HOORAY!HOORAY!HOORAY!HOORAY!HOORAY!HOORAY!HOORAY!HOORAY!HOORAY!HOORAY!"

Shouted both Pinkie and Mable as they kept jumping up and down and around each other excitedly...

"They've been at this for 10 minutes straight." Said a disbelieving griffin butcher to his candlestick maker compatriot...

...

Ah, cute little animal prints! I hope they lead to something adorable!" Exclaims Fluttershy as she follows said foot prints...followed closely by Twilight as she picked up a trail of books-

"Honestly! What jerk leaves books strewn about like this! messy, messy! It's going to take hours to clean all these!"

Both trails lead straight to a supply tent which they went in...and found the rest of the group!

"What are you guys doing here?" Asks Twilight.

"Mable said she had more exquisite fabrics to sow me!" Said Rarity.

"She told us this would be a good spot for a rematch!" Said rainbow as Applejack nodded.

"I'm just here to move the plot along!" Shouts Pinkie Pie to everyone's confusion.

Mable chuckled, "Right...sorry about this...but my creepy brother told me to bring you here-

"Dang it Mable, don't introduce me like that!"

The mane six's eyes turn as a lanky blue earth pony colt walks in-

Mable rolled her eyes, "You pay me to lure six fillies into a private place where no one else can see or hear...how is that not creepy?"

There is a chorus of 'You got that right', 'That is pretty creepy', and 'Eyup'. Said the fillies as they eyed the colt warily.

Dipper groaned, this was not beginning well at all...

"Look, I'm here to ask you for help-

"To prove I'm crazy!" Squeaked Mable suddenly in a fake Dipper voice that prompted giggles from the other fillies.

"DANG IT MABLE, THIS IS-

"AH! AH! Dad says you can't yell at me, remember?" Said Mable cheekily.

Dipper pulled at his mane frustrated, "Just...please...will you just let me do this?" He implored desperately.

Mable sighed, but reluctantly relented.

Dipper thanked her and turned back to the girls, "Right so I need your help to find and reactivate the Elements of Harmony."

Twilight gave him a weird look, "That old mares tale?"

Dipper shook his head, "It's real, and I believe Princess Sunset has gathered you here because she needs you to become friends to better harness it's power when your older to fight Nightmare Mo- MABLE I CAN SEE YOU MAKING THE 'HE'S CRAZY' GESTURE IN THAT MIRROR'S REFLECTION!" He shouted suddenly without turning around as the fillies giggle at said gesture.

"Sorry! I'm done! For real this time! I'm going into the corner now!" Says an apologetic Mable as she goes to do just that.

Twilight gives the odd colt a guarded weirded out look, "Riiight...It's not that we don't believe you..." Twilight pauses at that. "... I don't really know how to finish that sentence." She admitted finally.

Dipper groaned, "Look, I know how crazy it sounds-

"I'm not sure you do darling." Interrupts Rarity.

Dipper ignores this and moves along, "But I have proof!" He pulls out a cockroach.

 **EEEEEKKKKKKKKK!**

Screams Rarity, Rainbow just laughs. "A bug, is your proof?"

"Who you calling BUG Maggot!?" Screams...the bug!?

Everyone is floored by this! "It talks?!" Screams the Mane 6 in horror...well, except Fluttershy, who squeals it in delight instead.

"Oh, my! I've never seen a talking bug before! Where'd it come from?! How dose it talk!? What dose it eat?!"

"Enough questions, Maggot! Dipper! Get these cadets in line! Their derailing the whole operation!"

"Sir, yes sir!" Shouts Dipper as he salutes instinctively!...Before feeling very foolish for doing so...especially in front of a bunch of fillies that were taking him less and less seriously by the second...

Dipper shakes his head, "Look the point is he has an eidect memory and can repeat everything he hears-

"What, like this lame conversation?" Teased Rainbow.

Dipper just smiles and nods to bug, "What, like this lame conversation?" Said Bug in a perfect replication of Rainbow's voice!

They were all stunned! "Okay...wow...that's actually pretty cool." Admits Rainbow.

Dipper smiles, finally glad that things were back on track. "Right, tell them what you heard in the princesses Quarters-

"CAKE! FEED ME CAKE! I DEMAND CAKE!" Bug screamed in Celestia's voice.

"No! The other thing! The other thing you heard in the Princesses quarters!" Shouted Dipper annoyed as the fillies giggled at the whole thing.

"OH! OH! SHINNY! GIVE ME MORE SHINNY! MOUNT ME YOU BEAST!" Moaned Princess Candace voice in pleasure.

This made everyone go bright red, "IS THAT MY BROTHER!?" Shouts Twilight horrified!

FINALLY, Dipper got Bug to give the correct recording of Sunset discussing their plans for the elements of Harmony...

The filly mane 6 each had their own reaction:

Twilight began to gabble excitedly about the princess trusting her with such an important duty-

Rarity wondered if her 'element' would clash with her ensemble-

Fluttershy quivered in fright at the whole prospect(Dipper saw this and went to comfort her)-

Rainbow Dash was crowing happily over how awesome she must be to have such an important role-

Pinkie was going on and on and on about how many parties she'd have to plan for finding elements, making new friends and defeating nightmare Moon.

Applejack response was the most grounded, "What exactly do you want us to do?" She asked suspicious.

"I don't know where the element are, but since your connected to them. I SHOULD be able to triangulat them using THIS!"

He pulls out-

"A toy?" Asked Twilight Skeptically.

Indeed, it was a child's play-rotary dial phone. Dipper sighed, "It was SUPPOSED to be a big, badass hypercube- He glares at Mable.

"I said I was sorry!" Exclaimed Mable.

Dipper sighed, "Look bottom line: I can use this to teleport anywhere, Mable grab my hand and the other side of the phone."

"Wha?" Asked Mable who'd been distracted by the Butterfly.

Dipper sighed, "Dang it Mable, this is important if your not touching me- or someone touching me -AND the other end of the phone not only will you not come with me, neither will the phone!"

Mable rolls her eyes but complies, Dipper carefully dials the correct number(which is a lot harder then it sounds due to his hooves)-

 **ZAP!**

The Mane 6 gaped in shock and amazement as Dipper teleports from one side of the tent to another. Especially, Twilight; "You found a non-magical way to allow non-unicorn ponies to teleport!? That's amazing!"

Dipper couldn't help but blush a bit.

"You should tell people about this!" She exclaims.

Dipper sighs, "I'm kinda...too busy focusing on my current...'personal' project to think about that- then he snorts in annoyance -Besides waht Adult is going to take a little kid like me serious?"

Before Twilight could ask him to elaborate-

"ANYWAY! Come on over here! I'm confident I can use your Aura's to pinpoint the location of the elements!" Curious, the fillies gather around and place their hooves on the odd toy of power as directed, Dipper makes some adjustments...examines a few weird instruments he'd brought.

"There! Huh...a little interference...can't really tell where it is...but I can defiantly get us there! Or at least...NEAR there. Everyone hold hooves in a circle!"

They all quickly comply, "Alright, just to be clear. we quickly go there to see if it takes us directly to the elements, if not depending on where we are, we either search for them or come back and figure out a new way of getting the elements. That good for everyone?"

Everyone nods, though Twilight suddnly gets a thought; "Wait, shouldn't we tell the princesses where we-

"Mable! Do you have your hand on the other side of the phone!" Shouts Dipper quickly over Twilight.

"Wha- Oh, sure." Says Mable obliviously as she watched the butterfly again.

"Good, everyone hang on!" He exclaims and he activates it quickly almost in a panic.

Twilight tries again, "Wait, you didn't answer my-

 **ZAP!**

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	210. A great big ClusterF--- 2

**A great big ClusterF*****

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...

Celestia...Celestia couldn't believe it...it was like the universe was out to get her...first her sister tries to kill her...then her promising first student Sunset went rouge...and just when she was gifted with a promising second...the poor filly- with so much life, potential and love to give -is lying dead on the floor...Celestia tries to use her magic to heal her...but there's a foreign object wedged in her wound that was causing trouble with her magic...plus it seemed secreted with an unknown poison that not even her magic could expunge...there...there was nothing she could do...

"PLEASE! I CAN STILL SAVE HER!" Celestia glares at the source of the voice...the source of this TRAVESTY. She began to power up her horn to blast the odd piece of hovering metal.

"Give me one reason why I don't just blast you to bits right now", she snarled.

"(sniff) please...(sob) I'm sorry! (whimper) T-they told me I'd be a h-hero- (sob) -if I did this- THEY NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT KILLING KIDS!" He blubbered as he continued to plead to be allowed to make this right...

But Celestia's heart was already softening- distorted slightly the voice might be- she'd been the 'mother of Equestria' long enough to recognize the voice of a frightened and confused child who'd made a terrible mistake and wanted to make it right...

Feeling twilight's heartbeat fading fast...and knowing the paramedics would never reach here in time...she realized she didn't really have much to lose at this point...

She nodded at the 'thing', "Do it."

Tyrone quickly flew the drone- 5 other simultaneously -which was even more difficult then it sounded because on one he was having to shoot tranquilizer's to get the animals to stop destroying the drone trying to heal Fluttershy, the Pies were throwing holy water at the drone with Pinkie, he'd been forced to tazer big mac AND fend off Granny, and the the drone catching Rainbow was falling like a stone under her weight...

Tyrone knew no half-measures would do, he'd designed the bullets, between their shaped designed for maximum damage, the numerous, redundant carved ruins on the bullet to negate all magic used on or around it and the specially made ricin he'd developed to directly attack the immune system and the platelets that prevent bleeding...he'd have to use the experimental nano-genes he'd...'borrowed' and modified if there was ANY hope.

 **Nano-Gene health field activate!**

Celestia winched as a green beam enveloped the dying filly, she spazed out for a second as if shocked...then went still again.

"LIVE!" Shouted Tyrone as he hit her with another burst of nano-genes.

...Nothing...

"LIVE! Again, he zapped...

...again Nothing...

"LIVE!"

...Nothing...

"LIVE!"

"LIVE!"

"LIVE!"

"LIVE!"

"LIVE!"

"LIVE!"

He zapped and zapped until his finger was sore and bloody...but none of the fillies would wake...either his bullet was just too good...or they were just too far gone...in any case..."I'm sorry." He whimpered out loud...

A single tear drop feel from face...and onto the console...no one saw it glow where it landed.

Wendy puts a comforting hand on her young friends shoulder, but an angry Tyrone just slams the console frustrated...unintentionally causing the beam to shoot again-

...and this time...

 **ZAP!**

Celestia blinked as a phenomena she hadn't seen since Princess Candace occurred... Twilight had vanished! Celestia quickly quelled the panic, "Be calm my little ponies! I think I know what happened to Twilight, I believe I know where she is and I'll return her posthaste!"

 _"What happens after that though..."_ She shook her head, she'd worry about that latter, right now she needed to make sure Twilight was alright and bring her home!

As she ascended to the astral plane, she tried to think on what this all meant, _"First and foremost I'll have to deal with that strange 'thing'...but after that...I know I'd planned to have whatever student I picked to eventually ascend to alicornhood...but this is too soon! I need at least another decade to lay the groundwork and ease ponies- both rich and poor -into the prospect of a NEW princess...but as the socio-political situation stands-_

she shakes her head, _"Your overthinking this Celestia, true it might not be ideal...but one little alicorn brought into being a BIT ahead of schedule won't derail things...if anything it'll probably make things better!"  
_

She finally pops into the Astral plane to greet her new 'sister'- AND GETS A FACE FULL OF PINK!?

"HI!I'MPINKIEPIE!I'MSUPEREXCIEDTOMEETYOU!WILLYOUBEMYNEWFRIEND!?IGOTWINGSANDAHORNJUSTLIKEYOU!AREWECOUSINS!?SISTERS!?MOTHERS!?"

Celestia looked baffled at the pink ALICORN filly that now clung to her face and rambled on and on without stop or breathing...despite the surprise, she regained her bearings, looked around...and saw they weren't alone...

"W...wasn't I just falling?" Asked a disoriented Rainbow Dash, rubbing the horn she had on her head now...

"Gah!...mah head...anyone get the number of that donkey cart that done run me over?" Asked a groaning Applejack as her body ached from the THREE new appendages that had been added to it...

"eep!" Squeaked Fluttershy as she tried to hide from everything and the horn on her head without success...

"Why these wings are simply divine! I'll have to make a new dress to accommodate it!" Shouted Rarity excitedly.

Twilight nervously trotted up to an increasingly stunned Celestia, "Uh...Princess Celestia? What's going on?" She asked confused as she pointed both to her wings and the 5 other alicorn fillies that had popped out of nowhere...

Celestia face-hoofed as she saw all her free 'cake' time for the next ten years go up in smoke, "That's what I'd like to know..." She grumbled...

...

"NO!" Snaps Granny Pie as she snatches the bottle from her son's grasp.

"Granny be reasonable! Pinkie is a princess! If that ain't a sign for the end times-

"Something wonderful has happened to my grandchild, This is a time for celebration where she's embraced by her loving father- NOT A SUGAR-CRAZED LOUT!"

...

"YAY RAINBOW DASH!"

"#1 CHILD FOREVER!"

"BEST PONY PRINCESS HANDS DOWN!"

Celestia had to shielded her eyes as Rainbow Dashes parents let loose a bunch of celebratory fireworks off...

Rainbow groaned, "Guy's...come on..." She flustered...

...

"What do you mean, they're on vacation?!" Shouted Celestia angrily at the startled babysitter that been sent to watch Rarity.

Rarity shrugged, "Eh, I'm used to it. I'm practically raising myself at this point." She explained neutrally as she trotted off to show off her wings to her baby sister...oblivious to the hot water she'd just put her parents in

Celestia huffed smoke from her nostrils annoyed, _"I'll be having words with those two 'parents'"..._

...

"No I ain't off my meds yah dang fool! Go get your mommah! I want every Apple in the family tree here to celebrate! OUR APPLEJACK IS A PRINCESS!" Shouts Granny Smith while an amused Celestia watches...

...

"Yay." Whispered the shy family as their daughter was returned to them...

Butter Shy snores obliviously on the couch...

...

"Mommy, I'm a princess now!" Squeals Twilight happily as she jumps into her arms, Velvet Sparkle brushes away a tear, "You were always a Princess to me Sweetie..." She whispered sweetly.

Celestia smiled at the heartwarming scene...which of course was interrupted...

"Message for you mam!" Celestia groaned, _"How'd they find out so quickly?"_ She read through the dozens of summons from both nobles and government departments demanding an explanation for the 'recent events'.

Celestia shook her head...it wasn't ideal...but she was fairly confident she'd found the bearers of harmony. True, she was in for a massive headache...but with her contingency plans and careful planning she was confident that soon things will quiet down...

 _"As long as nothing else stirs up the waters of course...but never mind that now! Time to talk to our strange...'Guest'."_

She turned toward to the strange metallic creature still hovering in mid-air- along with it's 5 other 'buddies' that Celestia had brought with her - and walked toward them.

"Right, I think we deserve an explanation here...first of all; what species are you? I've never seen anything like you in all my travels."

There was an awkward pause... "Uh...you do know this isn't us right?" Said a new voice from the 'things'(an older female teen by the sound of it).

"Beg pardon?" Asked Celestia confused.

"Yeah...were just talking through the drones...their not actually...well, their not alive in the same way as you or I" She explains awkwardly

"Are you saying that these 'drones' are golem constructs that you are speaking through like some manner of ventriloquism?" Asked Celestia trying to guess the situation.

Again the drones were silent... "Uh...I guess?" Said the teen voice unsure.

Celestia frowned, these 'drones' were unlike any 'golem' she'd ever seen..no magic could be sensed from them- how was that possible? - and she'd NEVER heard of a mage speaking THROUGH a Golem before... How was this-

She shook her head, she'd try to understand this later, for now-

"Never mind, were are you then?"

The drone sighed... "Okay, I'll tell you...just...go easy on the kid, okay? He'd never have build theses if it weren't for me...and he most CERTAINLY never would've built them if he'd known they'd be used to target KIDS."

...

After receiving the coordinates, the and her royal guard went to an abandoned town on the far outskirts of town... "Right, Let's get this over with, I have a media circus to control and a bunch of nobles to baby." Joked Celestia to herself. After the whole thing with the filly alicorn, a straightforward problem- minus the odd 'devices' this group of malcontents somehow had access to -would be more then welcome!

The guards threw open the door...and gaped.

 _"...I HAD to jinx it."_ Thinks a stunned Celestia.

...there were 4 people in a room full of odd equipment; 2 beaten and tied up, one 12-year old child still crying and one slightly roughed up teen comforting him...

The problem with this picture? NONE of them were ponies...or any other species Celestia had seen...outside of fairy tales and conspiracy nut job manifestos...

One greenhorn guard whispered to another, "Houston...we have humans."

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	211. Two worlds, one family

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

...

Twilight Sparkle breathed a sigh of relief; she'd dealt with deadly falls, enraged baby monsters, spooky trees, sobbing serpents and Shadowbolts...but she and her new friends had made it past them all and now they were here! the castle of the two sisters! The elements of Harmony were in sight! Soon Nightmare Moon would be defeated! And Equestria would be-

 **tick**

 **tock**

 **tick**

 **tock**

 **tick**

 **tock**

Twilight went deathly pale... _"No, it shouldn't be...that was just a nightmare!"_

"2...3...4... There's only 5, where's the sixth?" Asks Pinkie... When Twilight didn't respond, they turn to her, "Uh, yo! Egghead! Pinkie asked you-

"SHH! Do you hear that?" Said Twilight, listening intently.

The girls frowned at this...but obliged...

 **tick**

 **tock**

 **tick**

 **tock**

 **tick**

 **tock**

"Huh...is there a...clock somewhere?" Asked Rarity confused, not really seeing how a clock of all things could've survived in these ruins...

Twilight had gone pale...it was all coming back to her...

...many years ago...

A filly named Twilight yawned as she set aside her book on Starswirls theorem of independent magick's, it was so late..and she was soooo sleepy...maybe one more book?

She turns to the fireplace...and gazes at the crackling, sizzling blaze...how hypnotic it looks...and a hairless monkey on the other side?!

"Epp!" Yelped Twilight.

"Sorry! Didn't mean to startle you! Can...can you understand me?" asked the boy who must've only been in his early teens at most.

Twilight nodded, "Yes, I understand you...why are you in my fire place?" She asked confused.

Before he can say anything- "TYRONE! GET OVER HERE! NOW!" Shouts a voice behind him, "Yes uncle Ford! I'll be right there!" He turns to her, "Okay, just one second- Sorry, what's your name?"

"Twilight, Twilight Sparkle!" She exclaimed quickly.

"Right, Twilight! I'll be back in a sec!"

The 'boy' named Tyrone came back...but not in a sec...

...

Twilight shook her head. Reminisce later, act now! "Okay, new plan: Grab the elements and run! NOW!"

This startled the other 5 mares, "Wha- Twilight what's-

"My, my. Leaving so soon?"

Five of the six looked over in fright at the appearing Nightmare Moon. "Thank you for saving me the trouble of finding the elements, I-

"GO AWAY! We have more important things to deal with now!" Shouts Twilight dismissively as she doesn't even bother to turn around wile she gathers the elements up herself.

This flat out dumbfounded everyone! Especially Nightmare Moon... "I...I beg your pardon!?" She shouts out baffled over this Mares dismissive attitude toward her. "I am Nightmare Moon! Ruler of nightmares and bringer of eternal night! What possible force on the planet could be 'bigger' then-

 **ZAP!**

And there they were...

...many years ago...

 **tick**

 **tock**

Twilight yawned in her bed content and fast asleep her room quite safe for the ticking of her family clock-

 **Rumble!**

Twilight woke up with a start, she looked over to her fireplace and saw it swinging open to reveal...the fireplace boy!

 **tick**

 **tock**

"Oh, hello! Don't worry! It's me! We were just talking an hour ago!"

Twilight looked at him confused, her mind still half-asleep. "Wha? But Mr. Tyrone...that was weeks ago! Months even!" She exclaimed confused.

Tyrone frowned, "What but it was just- And then he sees the clock, the face smashed in.

 **tick**

 **tock**

"Okay, that's scary." Said Tyrone unnerved. "You're scared of a broken clock?" Asked Twilight confused.

 **tick**

 **tock**

Tyrone nodded, "Just a bit scared, yeah. Just a little tiny bit. Because, you see, if this clock's broken, and it's the only clock in the room, then what's that?"

 **tick**

 **tock**

 **tick**

 **tock**

Twilight eyes widen in both realization and fear, her mind suddenly VERY awake. "Couldn't...couldn't it be just another clock?" She asked desperately. Before Tyrone could answer-

"Wait, no...it can't be a clock. You can tell by the resonance. Too big. Six feet, I'd say... The size of a man!" She exclaimed terrified.

Tyrone nodded, "Yes, your smart girl Twilight." He slowly makes his way to the side of her bed, pulling out a strange device while still talking. "...Just...just stay calm, I promise." He puts a finger to his mouth and gestures to her bed while still talking, Twilight nods in understanding. "Whatever it wants, I won't let it Take YOU!"

He shouts as he pulls the covers away from the side and points an odd looking device under it, Twilight hears a noise behind her...and sees a nightmare!

...

And there those nightmare's where...three clockwork killers, dressed in ancient finery and twisted masquerade masks...two of them just teleported to Nightmare Moon's side.

The ancient villain snarled in surprise, "Who are you!? What is this- Ignoring her, the two on her sides grab her and teleport her away.

The third and final one stares at Twilight, it's piercing glare sending chills throughout her body...just like it did when she was a filly...

After what felt like an eternity..."As anticipated...you are not yet complete..." The creature said in a cold, calculating, mechanical manner. "But you will be soon." With that chilling address given...he too vanishes as mysteriously as he appears...

...for a moment...all was silent...

"Okay...What the buck just happened?" Asked a confused Rainbow.

"Did we...win?" Asked a confused Rarity.

"I...guess so?" Said an equally confused Applejack uncertain.

Twilight just shook her head, "No, this is only the beginning."

 **Rumble!**

Twilight turns- "TYRONE!" She exclaims happily.

"Twilight, I'm sorry. I don't have much time! Theses guys are preparing one final assault a couple months from now...There doing something with the portals...I'm not sure I'll be able to help you this time...here, take this! Point the long slender end at them!"

He throws her a strange device, she catches it with her magic.

"Stay alive Twilight! No matter what happens, I will find you!" He promises as the runs back just as the portal starts to close once more...

 _"I know you will..."_ Thinks Twilight confidently.

Again, silence returns...

"Seriously, what the Buck just happened!?" Exclaimed Rainbow again...

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 **FLASH!**

A joyful Princess Celestia appears in a flash of light.

"Twilight Sparkle! I knew you could- Wait, what's going on here? Where's my sister? Wait, why haven't the elements activated? And what's twilight doing over there?

The Mane six look back and forth between their new friend 'practicing' with the strange device to blow up a nearby tree...the burnt remains of the spot where nightmare Moon vanished...the still inert elements...the place where the hairless ape boy had appeared...and their sovereign leader.

"Yeah...were gonna have to get back to you on that your highness..."

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	212. A pig or a friend? 10: RasenganFin

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

NyaNyaKittyFace: 1. Funny. 2. Interesting you should bring that up... 3. (shrug) thank RasenganFin for that...

Gamelover41592: thank you

ImperialStar: Could you be more specific?

...

"I can't believe were rescuing a NORTHWEST of all people", growled Wendy as she and Dipper trudged into the Gravity Falls Forest...

It had been over a week since the 'incident'. Shockingly, despite losing their mansion and all their bank accounts...the Northwests still made up for it in raw assets, valuables, companies and interests...

Preston even joked that the amount they lost...is what they made in a week...

Wendy is obviously initially disgusted by the conspicuous consumption the Northwests undergo on a daily basis while her father works tooth and nail to provide for his family and she works too...until Dipper reminds her that they still got one over on the Northwests, more importantly her family won't really need to work anymore thanks to all the money they swiped.

In any case Preston was offering a large sum for his daughters safe return- he was milking the 'Grieving father' PR angle for all it's worth...plus Dipper felt guilty about the whole thing...feeling they'd gone too far...

...and then they encounter Gnomes-

"Wendy run! They work together to turn into a gnome conglomeration to kidnap girls!" Shouts Dipper protectively. "That'd be hard to punt." Admitted Wendy.

The gnomes shrug with indifference, "Eh, not interested." They said dismissively at Wendy.

Wendy is naturally offended, "And why not?! I'm a babe!" _"She sure is..."_ Thinks Dipper to himself...

The gnome shrugs, "Eh, we like 'em' short and husky." He admitted. Wendy laughs, "Yep that's Mable...but seriously though, you guys see a blonde girl? Kinda stuck up?"

The gnome's laugh, "She'll be our new queen! You'll never find her! Do your worse! We-

Wendy picks him up and gives him a noogie, "gah! Ow! So annoying! Fine! We'll talk!" _"Aww man Wendy's so awesome!"  
_ Thinks Dipper as said red head leads the way...

...

Pacifica is hanging naked from a branch. "You've only yourself to blame for your constant escape attempts!" Said Jeff, Pacifica glared.

...this is the scene Wendy and Dipper walks into...she then responds by knocking Jeff over with a tossed gnome, Wendy is SOOOOO not cool with any of this! "I am okay with humiliating someone, kicking their butt, and outright framing someone for a crime I committed!" Listed off Wendy, "But forced group marriage to a minor! That crosses the line!"

Pacifica just looks at them miffed..."Really?! That crosses a line for you?!" "Do you want to be saved or not?!" "...yes."

Jeff glared, "Foolish girl! We gnomes are an awesome, ancient and powerful race! You know not what you dabble with-

Wendy effortlessly grabbed and drop-kicked him off a nearby cliff...

Without a leader, the gnomes were completely useless and easy to pick off by Dipper and Wendy...

When Wendy finishes pummeling the last gnome, Dipper frees Pacifica from the branch and she starts crying in his arms- much to his bewildered embarrassment as the cute naked girl pressed herself against him- "It's been 6 days! They fed me nothing but mushrooms and chipmunk meat!" "They didn't violate you did they?" Asked Dipper concerned. "The stupid leader says that the Gnome Queen has a 7 day honeymoon period before anything happens."

"Wow that was close." Said Wendy relieved then apologizes to Pacifica for their stunt and says "It's been a very stressful month for me and Dipper. Like some some Jackass higher power has thrown disaster after disaster at us..."

Later after Pacifica is given clothe and Wendy has to leave them for a bit to get the money wired to them... "So how long they've been dating?" Dipper is surprised by that question, to which Pacifica replies: "The way you two have been acting i thought you were dating. It's kinda cute in a pit bull dates puppy kind of way."

Dipper blushes, "I'm just glad your cool with us after...'y'know..."

Pacifica shrugged, "Eh, water under the bridge."

Dipper smiles, thanks her and goes to find Wendy...

Pacifica's smile turns to a glare; _"Yeah, right. You humiliate me, rob me, burn down my house and leave me naked and at the mercy of freaky little men...oh, no Corduroy...there WILL be a reckoning...and I think I'll take your hearts desire too while I'm at it."_ She thinks that last bit as she glances at dipper's retreating backside with a smirk...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	213. To kidnap a Pony

Tales of the Falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

NyaNyaKittyFace: interesting that you should bring up the servants...

Gamelover41592: yep

RasenganFin: (discussed on PM)

The Howling Behemoth: thank you

Victor John Foxfire:1: thank you, 2: your REALLY not going to like the next chapter of it then, 3: it's waiting for inspiration or bribes

...

Twilight Sparkle snuggled with her Smarty pants doll happily on her bed, today had been great! She'd gotten her cutie mark AND become Celestia's personal student, THIS WAS THE BEST DAY EVER!

Cue the interdimensional, giant claw reaching from the void to snatch her...

"I TAKE THAT BACK! WORST DAY EVER! WORST DAY EVER" She screamed...

...Meanwhile...

"Big Mac! Granny! Help me!" Screamed a frightened filly named Applejack as she was 'snatched' from her farm...

...

"MY ONLY REGRET IS THAT I DIDN'T MAKE THOSE CLOTHES FOR THE SCHOOL PLAY IN TIME!" Screamed a filly named Rarity...

...

Fluttershy said nothing...she'd already fainted dead away at the sight of the claw...

...

"HA! EAT IT SLOWPOKES! NOTHING IS FASTER THEN ME!" Shouts Rainbow Dash as she out flies dozens of claws popping out of cracks in the sky trying to grab her. Rainbow laughs as she turns around to let out a large razzberry at them-

 **GAH!**

Only to run right into another claw...

"Aw, man!" Shouts Rainbow annoyed as she's snatched away.

...

Pinkie sighed, "Alright, if it means moving the plot along..." She said reluctantly to a confused claw right before she jumped into the rip willingly...

The claw scratched itself confused...shrugged...and retracted itself...it's work apparently done...

...

The six fillies shivered in fright inside the cage, 'Where were they? Why were they here? When could they go home? And WHAT was this odd creature standing before them?'

Said creature laughed, "FINALLY! I have ponies to be my friends! Were gonna be like sisters! And we'll be together forever!"

"Mable what are you doing down here?"

An 8 year old Mable Pines turned to her twin brother Dipper as he descended the basement stairs, "Mable did you take that magic book I bought from the new weird store that naturally vanished after I took my eyes off it? I told you not to mess with it until-

His eyes took in the scene before him...and he groaned as he face-palmed, "Mable...why are their colorful, mythological creatures locked in a cage in our basement?" He asked in a weary yet resigned voice.

Mable chuckled nervously, "Uh...were having a slumber party?" She lied lamely.

"NO WE'RE NOT! HELP US! SHE KIDNAPPED US!" Screamed Twilight, and the other ponies shouted as well.

Dipper just glared at a sweating Mable, "Riiiiight...I'm going to tell mom and dad on you now." He says as he turns around to walk back up the stairs-

 **BANG!**

And receives a frying pan to the head for his troubles...

...

Dipper sighed through the gag as his tied up body is thrown into the cage along with the fillies, "Why in the hay did you do that!? He's your kin!" Shouts Applejack horrified

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! I'm not the bad guy here! I've summoned cute pony friends. And you WILL be my friends! It WILL be forever! We WILL drink tea together! We will gossip about Boys! We WILL braid each others hair! AND IT'S GOING TO BE EVERY BIT AS AWESOME AS I'VE ALWAYS DREAMED IT WOULD!"

Screamed the clearly unhinged Mable...

She runs upstairs...desperately trying to think of a way to explain away Dipper's disappearance until he accepts her friendship...

Dipper sighed as Twilight took off his gag, "I'm sorry about all this...she's gone off the deep end before...but never like this." There was a long awkward pause...

"Sooooooo...considering that were probably going to be here awhile...mind if I ask you a bazilion questions about your species?" Asks Twilight inquisitively.

Dipper smirks, "Only if you'll allow me to do likewise...

...Meanwhile...

Mable paled when her parents asked where Dipper was... "Uh...he died?" She lied lamely...thankfully they still bought it...but she still needed to do something to get those ponies to accept her friendship! She ddin't think this be so hard! In All the children books and songs she'd memorized by heart...once the pony came into the young maidens life...they were supposed to become besties right away! ...Maybe she did the ritual wrong?

She looked through the spell book again...and then saw a spell called: 'Memory Remix'. Mable frowned at this...but her love- (cough) obsession (cough) - of all things pony won out over her ethics...

"Okay...I'll tweak their memory's for a couple of weeks...just enough for them to be happy...that's not so horrible." She rationalized to herself...

...4 years later...

The Pines house... was surrounded by police, neighbors, and news choppers.

"Today this quiet piece of suburban Piedmont Oregon was shaken as 6 mythological, TALKING pony-like people were rescued from an underground apocalypse cult allegedly run by self-proclaimed Messiah 'Reverend' Mable Pines. Best know to locals in this area as the 'Crazy she-witch with the ugly sweater'. Oh, I'm also told that her brother was also rescued from her clutches...but who cares? I am now joined by a neighbor who watched all the drama unfold. A Mr. Walter Bankston." She puts her mic under his mouth. "Mr. Bankston?"

...( **Unbreakable - Kimmy Schmidt parody music starts to play)...  
**

 **I was outside cuttin up bike tires with my grandson**  
 **When out of nowhere**  
 **Forty hundred police vehicles came bookin**

 **They went, busted up in that weird and creepy white girl's house**  
 **She had a cult up in there!**  
 **White girls hold the record for creepy crimes**  
 **But ponies are as strong as hell**

 **Unbreakable!**  
 **They alive, dammit!**  
 **It's a miracle**  
 **Unbreakable!**  
 **They alive, dammit!**  
 **Ponies are strong as hell**  
 **Unbreakable!**  
 **They alive, dammit!**  
 **It's a miracle**  
 **Unbreakable!**  
 **They alive, dammit!**  
 **But ponies are strong as hell**

 **We've been living here ten years**  
 **Nobody seen no pony**  
 **Nobody heard no pony**  
 **Nobody smell no pony**

 **She had them underground**  
 **They come out their hole**  
 **Looked around**  
 **Like a bunch of Punxsutawney Phils**  
 **And I said Nathan is this for reals?**

 **1, 2, 3, 4 ponies come up**  
 **1, 2, 3, 4 ponies come up**

 **Unbreakable**  
 **They alive, damn it**  
 **It's a miracle**  
 **Unbreakable**  
 **They alive, damn it**  
 **But ponies are strong as hell**

 **Unbreakable**  
 **They alive, damn it**  
 **It's a miracle**  
 **Unbreakable**  
 **They alive, damn it**  
 **Hey!**

 **That's gonna be, uh... you know, a... fascinating transition**  
 **Damn it!**

...

Everyone looks around at the strange music and choreography that came out of nowhere. "Ooookay, that just happened." Said the reporter, she quickly composed herself as she turned back to the camera while listening to her earpiece. "Right...I've just been told we have more details...first of all I'm being told by my lawyer to apologize toward the scathing remark made toward the male pines sibling earlier, it was uncalled for...more importantly it seems that said young male is actually the hero of this."

Scene breaks to Dipper helping rescue workers put blankets over ponies as their helped out and given hot coco while reporter continues with a voiceover: Having apparently learned over his sisters scheme at a young age, Dipper was held underground as well. His sister then lied of his death. Her attempts to brainwash him somehow failed, and he bidded his time to earn her trust. When the time was right, he reversed the brainwashing on the ponies and together they attempted to overpower Mable. Despite being outnumberd, the clearly disturbed and violent pre-teen girl was able to hold her own. Fortunately, the ensuing conflict was loud enough to alert neighbors who in turn alerted local law enforcement. The ensuing standoff, lasted for several hours, and several SWAT members sent to intensive care before Mable was finally brought down by her brother with a frying pan."

Scene cut to Mable being brutally beaten up by cops and their billy clubs, "Although a trial is still pending, it looks like an unanimous guilty verdict is to be reached...her parents have had their custody of both children revoked due to their negligence and inability to handle the situation before it escalated. They have already fled the country in shame and could not be reached for a comment."

Once more the scene shifts toward the ponies being slowly helped onto an ambulance.

"As for the ponies themselves; who they are and where they come from is still under investigation... Back to you Tim."...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: The song is Unbreakable by Kimmy Schmidt parody  
**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	214. Alicorn Genesis 3

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

...

This response naturally stunned everyone. "Wha- Discord, why would you want to- Began Fluttershy before Discord interrupted, "Or send me to Tarturus...or the moon! I don't care where you send or imprison me JUST GET ME OFF THIS DOOMED, FORSAKEN ROCK!"

"Discord! Please! Calm yourself! Why has this Slenderman got you so frightened?" Asked Celestia concerned.

Discord sighed, "Look we creatures of chaos...were not really into the whole 'organization', 'ranks', or 'hierarchy' thing. Sorta counterproductive to what we do really...but IF we were to have a position for 'god'-

"He's the god of chaos?!" Interrupted Twilight horrified.

"No, he'd be the guy who'd KILL the god of chaos! That's how dangerous he is! And don't even think of using the elements of harmony on him, you'd be better off just throwing a bucket of water on him, at least he'd get pruney then. Which is more damage then your trinkets would cause!"

Suddenly he got thoughtful, "In fact..." He takes some spectacles and puts them on to better examine everything. "Looks like he's gone and put a new coat of retcon all over reality...makes me wonder if this 'Horizon Zero Dawn' even existed a couple hours ago or he just rewrote the past with a snap of his finger...wouldn't be the first time."

"I'm sorry, what was that lat part!?" Demanded Celestia.

Before Discord could respond-

"Discord! Stop breaking the fourth wall! On top of everything we don't need ponies going emo from an existential crisis!" Shouted Pinkie to everyone's confusion.

Discord shuddered, "Quite right Pinkie, priorities!...petrify me immediately!"

Before anyone could say anything-

 **CRASH!**

Everyone saw a THING crash on to the floor...it looked like someone had torn a pony inside-out, twisted them until they burst, then used a blow torch to weld the pieces back together...it gurgled out blood and flapped it's arms around for a bit as it struggled to breathe...then it just laid down and died...

All the ponies looked on in horror...

"We'll that's a relief," Said Discord happily.

Everypony looked at him like he was insane...well, more insane then usual. "EXCUSE, me!?" Barked Rarity aghast.

Discord shrugged as he pointed to the corpse-like thing, "Roughly translated in chaos 'speak' that means: 'Chill Discord. I've already set things in motion, and I'm sitting things out for the rest of the adventure to watch the 'fireworks'.'"

"Wait, so every time a 'thing' like that hits the floor-

"Of course not EVERY time, it only means that when the orange becomes Tuesday, but not before the apricot turns the Orion, but also only AFTER the elephant becomes to spaghetti what cars are to dollies! DUH!" Shouts Discord with his eye's rolling.

"Makes sense to me!" Shouts Pinkie Pie before her baffled friends could say anything.

Celestia coughed nervously, "Right, for the sake of everyone's sanity...let's just move on."

She then explains how Jack Harper told them that many years after Cerberus had 'taken over' the project from the alpha's Slenderman had attacked the bunker and overpowered them...the next thing Harper knew...it was millennia later and he was in the Astral realm with Celestia with nothing but the clothes on his back, a laptop, and a challenge from Slenderman.

"Apparently, Slenderman speed up the process of propagating the world with life, magic and ponies...then erased all memory of the facilities- Including APOLLO - from our ancestors minds and culture. He then shut them down...until now."

She shows them the message:

 **Greetings hero's!**

 **Terribly sorry about not being their to celebrate your ascension.**

 **So instead I give you the greatest gift a band of hero's can get...an epic quest that decides the fate of their world!**

"How is that a gift?" Demanded Rainbow Dash.

"Come now Rainbow, was it not an 'epic quest' that ensured your friendship? How is that not a gift?" Asked Discord slyly.

There was a long pause... "Yeeeaaahhhh, that ain't gonna fly." Said Applejack as they went back to reading the message-

 **Okay, fair enough Applejack-**

"What!?" Shouted the fairly creeped out girls, "Yeah, he dose that a lot." Explained Discord with a sigh as they continued to read...

 **Indeed I do Discord.**

 **In any case, how about a REAL gift then? Attached to this message are all the locations of the Horizon Zero Dawn facilities; each one filled with enough knowledge, technology and industrial resources to send Equestria several hundred years forward tech-wise-**

Twilight squealed in delight...the promptly flustered in embarrassment as everyone stared at her...she coughed awkwardly and continued to read...

 **Yes, squeal away Twilight.**

"Huh, this message makes a lot more sense when read the second time." Admits Luna just as creeped out as everypony else...

 **And all you have to do to get them is:**

 **1: use two alicorns to unlock my seal on each facility**

 **2: defeat each facility guardian, their minions, and traps.**

 **3: Purge the facility A.I. of corruption(for the sake of sportsmanship I've allowed your Elements to work on them)**

 **4: do all this before the activated and now rouge facilities destroy Equestria.**

"WHAT!?" Screams everypony.

The message then goes on to explain how slenderman had corrupted each facility and reprogramed them to destroy the planet in their own way. The first one would activate at the time of their ascension and as time went in not only would more activate, but their power would increase.

Also there were rules:

 **1: it will take no less then TWO alicorns to unlock each seal**

 **2: only one Mane Six Alicorn per facility is allowed to unlock the seal**

 **3\. Once an alicorn is used to unlock a seal, that same alicorn is barred from unlocking any other seals**

 **4\. Celestia and Luna are barred from this.**

 **5\. only the alicorn's that unlock the seal are allowed to enter the facility to fight the guardian, everyone else is barred until it's defeated.**

Twilight frowned, she ran the numbers in her head... "Wait, their are 10 facilities in all! With these rules, their's no way we can possibly do this! there's too few of us!"

Celestia coughed, "Uh...that's not quite true."

...several hours ago...

Outside the Illusive man's cell the sisters were beginning to panic having just read the message and the data on the laptop. "How can we protect our people under these conditions!? Even with our newest additions we do not have enough!" Exclaimed Luna.

Celestia nodded, "Indeed, Alicorns don't grow on trees!"

"Uh, excuse me?" Asked the human from inside the cell.

The sisters glared at him, "What do you want?" Asked Celestia sourly.

"If I might inquire...why not just use this 'Starswirl's spell' again? To make more alicorns I mean?"

Both Celestia and Luna just looked at him dumbstruck...then face-hoofed themselves for their obliviousness...

...

"Huh, wow...that actually is kinda obvious." Admitted Twilight awkwardly.

"Oh, don't beat yourself over it. If not for that, that spell would've been completely forgotten about and never mentioned again by ANYpony." Said Discord dismissively.

Pinkie nodded sadly, "Yeah I can see that happening...what a waste of a perfectly good plot point!"

Again, they all looked at the two confused...Celestia coughs again, "Riiiiight...moving on. It is imperative we find more alicorns. Me and Luna did some quick research and although the spell CAN make more alicorns...but it can't be any pony...it has to be SPECIAL ponies, ponies who have proven themselves through trial and tribulation like you six have..."

"Well, how in tarnation are we supposed to find them? Especially when clearly were on deadline!" Asked Applejack concerned.

Celestia and luna used their magic to levitate some maps, charts and other documents forward. "First, things first...were going to send a contingent of guards to every marked location on this map to test to see if there is another way to get in beside the one indicated by Slenderman-

"Stop saying his name! It gives him power!" Shouts Discord.

Everyone looked at him in horror...until he get's a thoughtful look on his face, "At least...that's what he says...he could be just messing with everypony though...he dose that a LOT...but better safe then sorry with that guy." He admitted fearfully.

Celestia gave him a weird look...but continues on. "Anyway, if...You-Know-Who -Discord mouths 'thank you' in her direction -is being honest, we'll keep the contingent there on standby in case anything happens at the site."

Luna continues, "As for finding other alicorns, me and Celestia are going to bring the best and brightest to canterlot under the guise of a 'meeting of the minds' so that they can secretly partake the ritual to see if there WORTHY. I trust that we don't need to explain how imperative it is that we keep this quiet to avoid a panic?"

The Mane Six nods, "However, since simply the 'official' best and brightest might not be enough...we'll have to send you to search Equestria for the 'unofficial' best that Equestria can offer."

Twilight frowned at this, "But how do we- "Slender- You-Know-Who." corrects Luna quickly. -Has already pointed out potential spots to find them...along with this note:

 **Now I know what your thinking...this must be a trap...**

 **Well of course it is! No, DUH!**

 **Is it my fault that all the places for potential Alicorn will soon be rife with carnage and intrigue?**

 **...oh, wait it totally is.**

 **Well, too bad for you!**

 **Try not to die too quickly, I want to squeeze a few more story arcs out of this crazy ride! (insert maniacal laughter)**

The assembled ponies just groaned at this. "The sad thing is...we don't have a choice. We have no other leads, and we don't really have the luxury of time to look for others." Admitted Celestia.

"And even if it is a goose chase...most of these areas are greatly populated, we can't afford to turn a blind eye to a potential threat that this mad man might have caused!" Pointed out Luna.

It's a reluctant Mane 6 that view their options...although many, 6 locations in particular catch their eyes:

 **Canterlot Museum of natural history**

 **Cloudsdale**

 **Prance**

 ** **Eden's gate****

 ** **Oddtown****

 ** **The Rotten Apple****

 **"** I CALL PRANCE, NO TAKE BACKS!" Screams Rarity, Twilight rolls her eyes. "Rarity, remember that you'd be there on BUSINESS." "But of course darling! I'll search the whole city for potential alicorns, I'll leave no shop unturned!"

Before Twilight can say anything-

"I'm calling Cloudsdale of course! It's my hometown, I know the lay of the land!" Twilight gives her a skeptical look, "And the fact that the next Wonderbolt airshow just happens to be shown there?"

Rainbow jack chuckled nervously, "Oh...is it? Completely slipped my mind", she lied lamely.

"Um, could I go to Eden's gate? It's famous for it's nature preserves." Asked Fluttershy nervously.

"And The Rotten Apple is one of the greatest, wildest party destinations in Equestria! CAN I GO!? CAN I!?" Pleads Pinkie Pie.

"Uh...while were at it...Oddtown is famous for it's top of the line agricultural equipment and products...I've been wanting to see it for awhile now." Admits Applejack awkwardly.

Twilight throws up her hooves in resignation, "And OF COURSE the Canterlot Museum is chosen as a destination right before the opening of it's 'Pre-three tribes Exhibit' that I've been looking forward to for months! Surprise! Surprise!" She snarks sarcastically.

"Indeed, all those locations being dream destinations for you lot CAN'T be a coincidence."

Twilight sighs, "Oh, what the hay? If were going to spring a trap we might as well do it doing what we love!" She said in a 'mock-cheer/resignation/reluctant excitement' attitude.

"That's the spirit!" Shouts Rainbow Dash.

Celestia nods and is about to go make preparations when she remembers something, "Oh, before I forget. It's imperative you keep your elements with you at all times, their a needed component in Starswirls spell(Both for the amount of power it has to fuel it and it's connection to the harmony magic of Equestria to help sync an ascending alicorn to said magic). I believe that as alicorns you'll eventually embody those elements where you won't need them anymore...but until then we'll need the actual elements."

Twilight frowns, "Wait, But we'll be scattered across Equestria- "I'm making a spell that should allow you to unite the elements magic even at great distances." Explained Luna. "I'm confident I'll have it finished before you depart, never mind that now. Just focus on your mission and keeping the elements safe, and no matter WHAT happens or disaster comes our way do NOT in ANY circumstances relinquish the elements! Or Equestria is doomed!"

...

Meanwhile...deep beneath the Everfree forest...ancient seedlings...filled with malevolence and dark magic...begin to GROW...and fulfill their thousand year purpose...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	215. A great big ClusterF--- 3

Tales of the Falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

...

"...Again...go easy on Tyrone...Blame me." Said Wendy Corduroy. Princess Celestia was only barely listening at this point to the teen girl who sat in her interrogation room...her mind was spinning with all these revelations...

Humans were REAL...and they were alive...and were coming to KILL her.

Or to put it in context: there was an underground society of humans living in a apparently high-tech metropolis called New Eagleland built by ancient humans to allow the human race to survive after the 'end times'...which if their 'supreme leader' Ming Jol-ik was to believed...was caused by ponies...indeed EVERYTHING seemed to be blamed on ponies...

 **Is your family starving? Blame the ponies, they ate everything. Will your family be next?**

 **Is your job terrible? blame the ponies, they want you to be miserable. Your loss is their gain.**

 **Too much crime? Blame the ponies, their secretly in control of everything. Only by supporting your beloved government can you cull their influence!**

 **Stubbed your toe? Blame the pony-loving traitors to our wondrous species, it's how they get their sick kicks. Report any suspicious activities; be it from neighbors, friends or families! They could be ponies in disguise!**

 **Your synth planning to murder you? They are pawns of the ponies of course!**

That last one confused Celestia, but resolved to ask what a SYNTH was later...in any case she was starting to get the gist of it...

"And what do you believe?" Asked Celestia. Wendy shrugged, "I believe my country is ruled by a rich fascist A-hole who uses fearmongering to get the idiots- the vast majority of my people, unfortunately -to suck up his sleaze and his wealthy friends corruption with a smile...of course writing that in my social studies report in 1st grade got my mother executed..."

There was a long, awkward pause...and then to Wendy's surprise, she got hugged by the princess!...she was very...fluffy...

"You poor dear...your safe now-

"And Tyrone?" Asked Wendy quickly.

Celestia smiles at the concern this girl had for her friend, "Yes, he made a mistake...but seems like you both did your best to correct it...but how did this all come about?"

So Wendy told her how after their mom was 'executed for sedition'- i.e. Taking the blame for her daughter -Her dad had trouble making ends meet, although mom took all the blame...they were still blacklisted from all official jobs...so Wendy had to take unofficial jobs...

"Enforcer, loan shark, bounty hunter...prostitution- she flusters at that last part -You don't really have the luxury to turn down high-paying jobs when your little siblings might starve."

Celestia nodded, she understood sibling love all too well...

"And Tyrone...when all my other friends ditched me- in fairness to them they were scared their families might be targeted if they continued to associate with me- ...he stood by me...he built me my first gun when he was 8...and it worked like a dream! ...we've been a... team ever since."

Celestia notices the hesitance before saying team...and the light blush on her face...but she decided to let it be, with cultures as different as theirs who was she to judge? Especially after everything this poor girl had been through!

In nay case Wendy explained how agent powers had approached her for a mission...to leave their city of New Eagleland...and go to the land of the ponies to assassinate the devil herself...Princess Celestia.

Despite the situation, Celestia couldn't help but be a bit amused by being labeled a 'devil'.

"So you were coming to kill me?" She asked in good humor.

Wendy sighed, "Okay, try to understand...I hate my government...I really do...but not only did I not have the luxury to turn down the money- which was a TON, enough to set my family for life...but also, considering how they were using Ponies to justify their cruelty and oppression...a supposedly 'alien' species that no one had ever seen save for the governments 'trusted' sources and civil servants...

"You didn't believe ponies were even real." Again, despite the situation Celestia couldn't help but chuckle over that.

Wendy shrugged, "The whole thing reeked of a whole big publicity stunt/hoax- wouldn't be the first time they pulled this sort of thing. " Celestia watched amazed as Wendy showed her 'pictures' from her 'cell phone' ... _"How am I not detecting any magic?"_ She wonders as she watches this device in amazement.

 **Glorious Eagleland government sting operation successful in bringing down pony mob boss!**

 **Our glorious leader gallantly executes 300 pony demons with bare hands!**

 **Our glorious enforcers fight back the pony hordes at the Eagleland border!**

The pictures and videos of 'ponies' getting killed were so fake that even the tech-illiterate ponies could see how choreographed and staged they were.

Celestia shakes her head, "And people bought this?" She asked in disbelief. Wendy shrugged, "like I said...idiots." She looked at Celestia with a resolute look, "And Tyrone felt the same way, but I was the one that recruited him. He'd do anything I'd asked...he's kinda wrapped around my fingers." Said Wendy with a reluctant smile.

"We'll I believe that last part anyway." Admitted Celestia with a knowing smirk, "You should know that Tyrone has already confessed that he believed ponies were real...but still went along with it despite his concerns...assuming all the guilt for HIMSELF to protect you."

Wendy groaned, "Dang it Tyrone!" She cursed.

Celestia couldn't help herself, she was loving this drama. " _Ah, young love..."_

Celestia put a comforting hoof on the distraught girls shoulder, "Neither of you have anything to worry about...Yes, taking this 'job' was a mistake. But your motives were each somewhat understandable- you didn't believe anyone would REALLY get hurt and Tyrone wanted to provide for his own family and make sure you were safe. But more importantly; when you saw innocent lives were at risk, you fought back despite the danger you knew you would place yourselves in."

Celestia frowned, "I'm confused about one thing...if you were coming to assassinate me...how did Twilight and the other fillies got involved?"

Wendy frowned, "That's the weird thing...night before that attempt on your life, our orders changed."

"How so?" Asked Celestia.

Again Wendy frowned, "It was all last minute, even Powers seemed thrown off by it. In any case we were given 6 locations, times and bio-signatures for the drones to lock onto...we had NO idea who we were targeting-

"Until you saw them on your...'screen's'? I think that's what you called them?" While Wendy verified, Celestia's mind raced. This whole thing was getting more bizarre and making less sense the more she heard it...

Assassinating her in a bizarre political move, okay. That made sense. MAYBE, killing Twilight if someone suspected she was a shoo-in to be her next apprentice...but 6 random fillies scattered across Equestria? It baffled her!

She briefly thought about the Rainboom that gave everyone their cutie marks, but dismissed that. There was no way anyone could predict a random event like that...right?

She shook her head of such things, she learned all she could from Wendy and the moved on to the next room...and a less then pleasant individual.

Celestia glared at the defiant look of one Robbie Valentino, unlike Wendy and Tyrone...Robbie was just a jerk. He'd been a teenage freelancer like Wendy. But unlike her; Instead of helping them save the fillies he assisted Powers in trying to regain control of the drones to continue the mission...

Celestia had been accused of being 'too forgiving' and maybe they were right...but here...with someone who would KNOWINGLY murder helpless little fillies for glory and profit...no, there would be no forgiveness.

"Do your worse, I'll never talk!" He shouts smugly.

Celestia quirked an eyebrow, "Oh, no?"

...5 seconds later...

"I'LL TALK! I'LL TALK!" Screamed Robbie as Celestia dangled him several feet in the air with her magic, Celestia smirked. Indeed, being the 'Mom of Equestria' for so long had also given her the innate knowledge of knowing when a boy was 'all talk'.

Now despite her anger toward him, he was still just a boy. First chance she'd get she'd contact his parents and leave his punishment to them...unless their punishment was lacking, then she'd take matters into her own hooves. Nothing too nasty, again he was only a teen...maybe just 5-10 years in jail?

It was certainly a greater mercy then she'd be giving the NEXT human.

...

"Name: Anonymous Powers, Rank: Special agent level 5, serial number: QR-5890. And that's all your getting out of me." Stated the human adult flatly.

Celestia just frowned at him, Robbie more less gave her the dame level of info that Wendy gave him...well, mostly LESS. But as for this one...

"I don't suppose you'd at least be willing to give me the location of your 'nation' so I can begin diplomatic negotiations with them?" Indeed, it seemed that Tyrone, Robbie and Wendy were blindfolded when they left Eagleland. Thus Powers was the only one who knew where it was.

Powers simply remained silent...

Suddenly a messenger pony came in and whispered into her ear.

Celestia smiled and flawlessly listed the coordinates of Eagleland, and was given the pleasure of seeing the seemingly unflappable face of Powers...lose all composure.

"What...but...HOW!?" He demanded.

Celestia smirked, "I have my ways..." Turns out Tyrone had left a tracker back in his flat to let him know WHERE Eagleland was just in case something went wrong. He was also currently hacking Power's equipment to get any intel he could.

Celestia continued, "Soon will know many other things...so you see, it's really in your best interest to cooperate with us. Depending on how much intel you give I'd be willing to give lenience and protective custody.

But Power's wasn't really listening... "I have failed my country...worse, I've brought the devil to our doorstep...only one way to lessen my disgrace..."

 **CRACK!**

Celestia's eye's widened as Powers suddenly slammed his face down onto the counter with a sickening crack, then spasm uncontrollably as he started to foam at the mouth.

"WE NEED A MEDIC!" Shouted Celestia as she tried to use her magic to heal him...but it was too late...

And that's how the concept of a Cyanide capsules was introduced to Equestria...

...It wouldn't be the last horrible thing introduced in the coming days either...

...

 **What were those 'THINGS' that the guards arrested!?**

 **What were those creatures that killed the fillies!?**

 **What's this about their being NEW PRINCESSES!?**

Celestia sighed, the nobles and press were at arms.

"First of all those 'things' were humans- She waited for the maelstrom of questions to die down a bit -apparently there is a small group of them still around...and their government sent a team to assassinate me- Again, she was forced to weather out an onslaught of questions, demands and accusations -Thanks to some 'rebellious elements' within their ranks, their plot was foiled. The guilty one's have been taken in custody and those who aided me are now in PROTECTIVE custody." Not technically a lie, Celestia had decided to simplify things for the sake of helping Tyrone and Wendy adjust to their current situation, and smooth out future trouble with any future interactions with humans that had nothing to do with this whole mess...

"What about the fillies?! Have they really become NEW princesses!?" Demanded a reporter.

Celestia sighed, "Were still investigating HOW it all came about...but YES, I'm proud to say we have SIX new alicorns-

"Is it true that they are from COMMON roots?" Snaps Upper crust.

Celestia glares, "If by which you mean they weren't part of any of the 'noble' families BEFORE their ascension, then Yes."

The uproar and arguments amongst the crowd that broke out forced Celestia to call a recess to bring things to order. _"They reacted this way to do...I'm not looking forward to telling them to prepare for a potential war with this 'New Eagleland.'"_

Indeed, Celestia hoped that it wouldn't come to that, that she could talk through this situation...but based on what she'd learned about their 'glorious' leader...she wasn't holding her breath...still, she had to at least TRY. She refused to condemn a new species to war simply because their leader was a murderous monster...

...

Celestia looked warmly upon the six new filly alicorns, "Now I'm going to soon be away on important business to...'handle' those who caused this...'situation' we find ourselves in." Explained Celestia delicately.

"Are you going to fight the people who almost killed us?" Asked Twilight concerned.

Celestia sighed, "We'll see Twilight, we'll see...in any case, while I'm away I'll be leaving the kingdom and your education in the hands of Princess Candace!"

Princess Candace smiled as she entered the room when introduced, "Hello Twilight, and girls. Rest assured I'll help you through this like Celestia helped me through my ascension. I also hope we all become good friends!"

Rarity, Picking on Candace's familiarity to Twilight. Turned to the purple filly. "Wait, do you know the princess?" Twilight smirked, "Of course! She's my foal sitter! And my brothers 'special somepony',shining likes to keep a picture of her under his pillow and everything!"

The other fillies and Celestia giggled at Candace's fluster...

...

"My word, what interesting times indeed! The humans have returned and six new princesses have taken the throne! Maybe now I can FINALLY get my ANTI-giant man-eating spider legislation passed." Said lord Quentin Trembly Esquire as he trotted into his mansion.

His butler Nathaniel Northwest grumbled out a 'yes sir' to his insane boss as he once more 'feed' the 'invisible' crumpled-horned snorlax family with the 'invisible' chow...and once more felt like a daft fool for doing so.

"I feel good about six fillies brought into government...it's the same reason I proposed babies being made into judges awhile back...don't know why it was rejected.

Nathaniel had gotten VERY good at not rolling his eyes over the years at his ludicrous boss, "A real mystery sir." He said with a very convincing tone of sincerity.

Trembly nodded, "Well, enough about that1 Time to practice ridding my manticorn backwards!"

Nathaniel Northwest glared after his boss...now most people would enjoy his position. True; his boss was an insane collector of 'oddities' and was regularly considered a laughingstock among the nobility, but his pay and hours were quite decent. And despite his eccentric demands he was quite nice...so all and all an okay job...

But most people aren't a misanthropic sociopath like Northwest...

 _"It's not fair an idiot like you gets all this wealth and prestige...one of these days Trembly...one of these days..."_

...

The day had finally come...Celestia was worried, the sad fact was all the years of peace had rather made the EUP more ceremonial then an actual army...still Tyrone had tried to prepare them as best he could...

So without delay, Celestia orders the army to descend into the crevice...and into New Eagleland...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	216. A pig or a friend? 11: RasenganFin

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

Gamelover41592: thank you

Wicked.A: thank you

The Howling Behemoth: 1. hmmmm...something to consider. 2. Thank you

...

Soos looked around confused as he and his friends entered the medieval golf-course. "Why did we come here again? Not to bring up a sore subject, but Mini-golf is really more Mable's thing...and you guys aren't really on speaking terms right now- Indeed, although Mable was there...she'd come at a separate, early time and clearly was not speaking to anyone...

Dipper sighed, "To be fair I did build a mini-golf course in our room with her...which Mable then destroyed for her slumber party." He says that last part darkly.

"I have SOME interest in it...but it's not my favorite thing...more like 17th favorite thing."

"Okay...what about the first 16 then?" Asked Soos.

Wendy ticked off her fingers. "Shack is being fumigated, so 1 through 7 is out, arcade has Blubs stuck in the claw machine, pool is still closed, the diner was burnt down by Susan...again, laser tag is shut down while in the middle of a lawsuit from Toby, the rain flooded the forest so 12 through 16 is out...that just left mini-golf." She explained.

Soos scratched his head, "Huh...we'll good info-dump anyway."

"Hey, guys! What's up?" They turn around and see Pacifica.

"Hey Pacifca! how are you? Doing better?"

Pacifica smirked, "oh, much better! In fact...after today I have a felling I'll feel even better!"

"We'll good for you Pacifica...say want to play golf with us?"

"I'd be delighted to! Oh, by the way. Dipper, I found this in a weird shop today...you like odd things right? Would you like it?"

She produced a voodoo doll covered in a blue hoodie and a bunch of needles stabbing the groin.

Dipper winched, he felt for whoever that voodoo doll had originally been for, but being a connoisseur of the crazy he took it and thanked her."

"No...thank you." Said Pacifica with a smirk as she flicked a weird ring on her finger...

...

"Hey! I got a hole in one!" Shouts Soos excited and looks around to see if anyone saw his achievement...no one did. Not even his friend Wendy! He slumps in disappointment, She's too busy glaring at Dipper who's too busy looking at Pacifica.

At first Wendy had enjoyed this, whenever Wendy went to retrieve her ball from the hole Dipper kept looking at her backside and when she straightens flinging her hair, Dipper saw it in slow motion and is very happy...

And then Pacifica showed up...suddenly Wendy can't make any good shots at all! They keep coming back at her and smacking her in the face. Worse, when Pacifica goes to grab her ball- she's been having NOTHING but holes in one all night! -she bends over and pretends to have difficulties keeping it still and just shakes her butt around to show it off to a now captivated Dipper.

Mabel is obviously upset that Pacifica is flirting with Dipper but doesn't say anything cause it ticks off Wendy...Dipper, despite Wendy's best efforts...seems unable to be away from PACIFICA! It was making her blood boil! Feeling furious, angry and tired she sits down next to the Dutch Obstacle and bops his head against it, hearing tiny screams.

Confused, Wendy crawls inside seeing if someone was trapped in there...

...

Dipper didn't understand it...there was something...INTOXICATING about Pacifica today...he felt DRUNK being arou8nd her...he just...he couldn't get enough of being by her side! Wait...wasn't...wasn't there someone else he was supposed to be with? Everything seemed fuzzy-

"PACIFICA!"

Everyone turned to see an enraged red head, grasping a ball-like creature in her hand running at the rich blonde.

Mable screams.

Soos weeps.

Dipper blinks confused.

Pacifca...smiles?

Wendy slams into her and beasts the living daylight out of her...which immediately gets her arrested.

"Your under arrest for beating up a Northwest! Our town charter says that's a 'for-life' sentence!" Shouts Blubs. Together they toss they baffled Wendy into the back of their police car.

Pacifica smirks as she flicks her ring again...and Dipper snaps out of it, "Ow...my head...what happened?" Then the events of the last couple hours come into focus, "Wait...WENDY! Wendy's been arrested! Wh-Why didn't I stop that? Wait...why was I ignoring Wendy?"

"Oh, that would because of the 'lust ring' I was wearing." Admits Pacifica.

Dipper's eye's widen, "Lust ring?"

Pacifca chuckles, "I need to thank you guys, you opened my eyes to a whole other world...this supernatural stuff is crazy!" She shows off the ring, "This bad boy can let me hook the attention of one man...in exchange for eventually making said boy's 'partner' want to beat me up! That, plus Wendy discovering I'd been Bribing the lilliputtians to mess up her shots all night- points to a still queasy Hanz who'd been carried forcibly by Wendy -and that 'tip- off' I gave to Blubs to be here...and Wendy practically jumped into my trap. True, I had to get a bit hurt...but a small price to pay for revenge!"

Dipper gulped, "Revenge?"

Pacifica smirked, "And that's not even the best part...the 'impotence' doll has probably already done a number on you."

Dipper paled, "IMPOTENCE!?" A quick check showed that...

Dipepr groaned, "Awwww man! I just FINALLY grew to average size!" He moaned as he felt that his 'package' was now 'useless' in every since of the word... it was also tiny again.

Dipper glared, "What we ever do to you?"

Pacifica glared, "You murdered hundreds of my innocent servants...dozens of my not-so innocent servants, burned my mansion down, nearly feed me to zombies, posted my naked body online for everyone to see, swindled me out of a large fortune, AND LEFT ME TO DIE AND BE RAPED BY GNOMES!" She screamed.

Dipper's eye's widened...the sighed, "Okay...that's fair...any chance I can convince you to let Wendy go? Keep me impotent if you must, throw me in jail if you must...but let Wendy go..."

Pacifica smirked, "Oh, don't worry Dipper...do a couple things for me...and Wendy is free." She then laughs maniacally...Dipper gulps...

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Didn't see that coming, did you?**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	217. Shinobi Falls 4

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

The Howling Behemoth: Thank you, also enjoy!

RasenganFin: Well, I could've done that...but it's been rather done to death, and what fun would that have been? I like your idea though, I'll try to fit it in.

...

 **AN: This story is a gift to Howling Behemoth**

...III...

Sarutobi looked at the report impressed, "Pointed out numerous ways that the Inuzuka could make breeding war dogs more efficient while walking said dogs? Mad a new type of paint while painting fences that not only looks good but will last for years? Gave the Damiyo's wife a spell that will bring Tora back to her in seconds no matter how far he flees?(this last one made the aging leader tempted to give the boy his best Sake in gratitude) Dipper my boy, your a miracle!"

Dipper beamed, true it had been hard with Mable mostly goofing-off and Pacifica's apathetic disinterest. But he wasn't worried! He'd win Wendy-chan's heart or die trying!

Wendy meanwhile was almost at her wits end...thankfully, Dipper had good ideas how to self-train themselves, which was great as it gave Wendy time to learn how to ACTUALLY teach...she was exhausted! Between trying to train three kids, EXTRA training with her dad, triple her usual chores...she was about ready to collapse! And of course the whole 'need to make Dipper strong enough to survive or avoid telling him the truth' thing was still dangling above her head!

"Wendy, your team's next assignment is on the table over there in the red folder." Said the Hokage absentmindedly as he planned the 'no more Tora Celebration' in his head...

A groggy Wendy nodded as she trudged over to the table and pulled a scroll from one of the folders on the desk and walked back downstairs as her team followed.

...

Wendy yawned and handed the mission scroll to Dipper, "Dipper...your team leader now...you...your good at this stuff...you...take care...everything...I just...I just...rest...my...eyes...ZZZZZZZ." Wendy flopped down on a nearby bench and was out like a light...

Pacifica rolled her eyes, "Our commanding officer, ladies and gentleman." She replied snarkily. For once Dipper didn't retort back...he was too busy excited over his new 'promotion'.

"You hear that? I'm team captain!" Mable glared, "She was half-asleep and delirious! That promotion doesn't count!"

Dipper glares back, "Oh, and your getting a sleeping Wendy to let you be in charge of her wallet for 'ice cream detail', DID count?"

Mable sighed reluctantly, "Fine...but I'm still Alpha-twin during our off-hours!"

Again, Dipper uncharacteristically ignored this taunt, he was too busy being spellbound by the contents of the mission scroll, "This...I don't believe it...this is a C-rank mission! The Hokage gave us a C-rank mission! Girl's grab your things! Were leaving Kohonan!"

He paused only long enough to put an emergency blanket over Wendy before running off.

The girls...although surprised...shrugged it off, if the Hokage- widely considered the wisest man in the ninja world - thought they were ready for such a thing who were they to argue? Besides it might be fun leaving Kohonan...and then went off to prepare...

...

Dipper packed all his survival gear...then considered something under a tarp. "Hmmmm...well, I trust the Hokage's judgement...he's not called 'The Professor' for nothing after all!...and yet...this will be the first time Wendy-chan or Mable leave the safety of our village...better safe then sorry after all."

He then pulled the tarp of his prototype, "Okay Tyrone...time for your debut!"

...later...

Wendy yawned as she tried to get up...in a wagon?" "Wait, what-

"Finally! Sleeping beauty is up! ...only took you three days." Said Pacifica annoyed.

"What?" Asked Wendy.

Dipper shruged sheepishly, "Yeah, we let you sleep in...but don't worry Wendy-chan will be in the land of waves soon!

"WHAT!?" Shouted Wendy confused.

...

Sarutobi having just gotten back from the three day 'no more Tora' party...is informed by the black-op's team- the one that was SUPPOSED to be going to wave to back-up Team-7 on their mission...that they'd found only a mission scroll for a mission babysitting the ishiyami twins on the table.

"Wait...if you got the babysitting mission...then who got the- and then he remembered...only two mission scrolls had been on the table...and Wendy had taken the other.

"Uh, oh." Groaned the Hokage...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	218. Gravity falls, Riders Rise 2

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

Gamelover41592: 1. Indeed it was. 2. trust that instinct it will save you.

The Howling Behemoth: (chuckle) better get writing then...also, thank you

Wicked.A: 1. Huh...interesting thought...I'll get back to you on that. 2...you do realize that Tyrone and Dipper are basically the same person, right?

...III...

 **AN: this story is a gift to 'The Howling Behemoth'.**

...

"YOU LOCKED UP SAPHIRA! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!? DO YOU REALIZE THE HELL YOU'VE PUT US BOTH THROUGH!? WHAT WERE YOU THINK-

 _"Well...this brings back memories..."_ Thinks Stan to himself sadly as he watched his nephew tear into his sobbing niece for five hours straight. Best he could gather; Dipper had found Saphira's egg in the woods and took care of it until it hatched. He then secretly raised it until she was mature enough to fly. Seen as an outcast in Piedmont Dipper and Saphira made plans to go see the world together...

Unfortunately Mable had found this out...and with the help a strange traveling mystic merchant...she made sure the plan had never got off the ground...by imprisoning the dragon in an indestructible, invisible cage that could only be broken by Mable stepping foot in another twins house.

Naturally Stan was dubious over this merchants motives...especially since all he asked in return was a 'favor' later. But he'd worry about that latter...right now he was forced to take a front row seat as history repeated itself.

Actually, no. This was WORSE then what happened to him long ago...Mable...Mable didn't just ruin Dipper's future...she imprisoned a living, breathing creature-

Saphira huffed at him angrily as if reading his thoughts- "PERSON! I MEANT PERSON!" He said quickly.

"Dipper, I'm sorry! But you were going to leave! I was going to lose you!" A sobbing Mable pleaded. Dipper just glares at her... "you just did." He said simply as he walked away...without giving her a second glance...

...

Eventually, Wendy and Soos left Stan to consul a grieving Mable...and went to find Dipper- Well, mostly to find the DRAGON.

"Dude, do you think I can convince it to flash-fry a cow? I totally want to see that happen...and I totally want to eat it! Uh, the cow not the drag- Well...maybe a nibble of the dragon." Admits Soos thoughtfully.

Wendy just smirks, "I want to see if he'll let me fly her!"

"OH! That's even better! I want to do that!" He then remembers something, "Hey can you wait for me a sec? I promised Mr. Pines I'd put some posters up in the woods."

Wendy rolls her eyes but agrees. Soos runs out to hammer some posters into trees, he's doing good-

 **CLANG!**

Soos looked at the bent nail on a metallic sounding tree... _"Huh?"_ He thinks as he investigates...

...

Mable scarfed down the ice cream as she sobbed, Grunkle Stan had been a huge help to her here...but he was no replacement for her dipping sauce...

"Is this a bad time?"

Mable eye's went wide...she'd recognize that voice ANYWHERE...she turned to see HIM...the merchant that put Saphira in her cage...all those many years ago...standing before her...

"Wha...how'd you got in my roo- Then she shook her head, "Whatever, I don't care. Just leave me alone, this IS a bad time..." She admits depressed as she curls back into a ball.

The man nodded, "Of course, of course...but before I go there's the small matter of my fee?"

Mable glared, "Are you kidding me?! After what happened today!? Dipper will never- And just like that, remembering her brother blew out the anger inside her... "Oh, forget it, FINE! Here, take all my money." She tosses her wallet at home. "Just PLEASE leave me alone." She groaned as she once more curled back into sweaterland.

The merchant shook his head, "Actually, I was hoping you could invite some... 'friends' to the next big event in your life."

Mable groaned... "Pretty sure any party in my near-future will be cancelled indefinitely."

The merchant smirks, "My friends are patient...they can wait."

Mable let's out an annoyed growl, "FINE! SURE! WHATEVER! IT'S A DEAL! NOW WOULD YOU PLEASE GO AWA-

 **BOOM!**

Suddenly, the room was filled with dark, twisted, intangible beings.

Mable's eye's widen in fright. "Wha?"

The 'merchant' laughed as he tore away his disguise revealing Slenderman for all to see, **"You heard her boys! Your invited to the next BIG event in her life...and what could be bigger then becoming a shade?"**

Mable didn't even have a chance to scream before thousands of malevolent spirits possessed her at once and began to rip apart and devour her soul...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	219. A pig or a friend? 12: RasenganFin

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

Gamelover41592: Thank you

Wicked.A: First of all, her BODY is fine, it was her SOUL that was ripped apart and devoured...as for if she's 'dead' or not...that's a bit more complicated.

The Howling Behemoth: Hmmm...All good choices...what to pick?

zacharylee53899: uh...sure?

Guest: I'll add it to the plot-bunny pile.

...III...

Dipper sighed as Pacifica took more picture of him in the buff- her comments on how she needed to use the 'microscope lens' to see 'anything' was also not helping his ego - "Okay, come on pacifica...I got you the holy grail, found you the golden Fleece, and then did hundreds of embarrassing nude photos and video's...will you just let Wendy go already?" He pleaded.

Pacifica smirked, "One last thing...and I'll consider us square. I'm going to get ready for the big night, I've already talked with Mable about what you need to do, go to her and she'll explain the rest." And with that she saunters away and leaves Dipper to his own devices...

Dipper sighs, Why was he not surprised that Mable was in on this? Things had gotten downright frosty between them lately...

 _Deep breath Dipper, just one more job...and Wendy is free. You've already survived Commie-Nazi's, Cyclopes-Kraken and internet humiliation...anything after that should be a piece of cake..."_ He thinks to himself as he heads toward the local theater where Mable awaits...

...

Dipper looks at his sister dumbly, "I'm sorry, you want me to do what?" He asked stupefied.

Mable smiles, "Use your dumb book to abandon your body, take possession of my star puppet and do my puppet-paloza so I can impress a cute boy!" Mable was so happy! She and Dipper were going to do things as a team again!

Dipper just stared at her in disbelief...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

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...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

 **ZAP!**

"Yeah...were not doing this." Says Dipper flatly as he walks away from the Mable's now souless body and the Mable puppet as it flares around angrily...

And then Gabe shows up... "Hello! Mable! I was wondering- Well, hello darling! Your new to town aren't you?" Asked Gabe sensually as he picked up the Mable puppet...

Needless to say...Mable would be over her boy-crazy phrase FOREVER after tonight...

...

"Uh, not to sound ungrateful...but why didn't you do this in the first place?" Asked Wendy as she's freed from jail after Dipper used the shrinking flashlight on the cameras in the police office, he then shrunk Durland and threatens Blubs with ingesting him.

Dipper sighs, "I know you don't want to hear this Wendy...but we DID go to far with the 'zombies attacking the Northwest Mansion', so I felt I owed it to Pacifica to at least TRY and play ball...but then she went too far."

Once Wendy's freed, her arrest paperwork is burned and given 5 free arrest passes...

Dipper then storms the New Northwest Manor with a smaller Crystal set to a small Flashlight which he uses to shrink Preston Northwest's head when he refuses Dipper entrance to his home, Wendy is following and punches him in the junk as she passes. Preston- now unable to distinguish depth very well was powerless to do anything but stumble to the ground

Pacifica flees but Dipper just shrinks everything she hides behind. She cowers when Dipper approaches her thinking he's going to beat her for sending Wendy to jail... but all he does is just seize the master voodoo pin and breaks it, which restores his junk to normal not peanut size.

Dipper checks his pants and sighs relieved- Wendy also finds herself relived...much to her embarrassment -and tells Wendy they can go.

"WHAT!? Were just going to let her go!? Shouts Wendy rightly pissed, having hoped to see him give her a black eye. Dipper sighs. "Wendy, I'm sorry to say this, but we REALLY did go to far with the Zombie assault, People DIED Wendy! INNOCENT people! Sure I could punch her eye for getting you arrested but then she's have reason to get me arrested, and then we'd retaliate, she'd retaliate, and so on...as it stands Who's going to believe that a kid like me came in shrinking stuff to undo a voodoo curse? Certainly not the cops." Dipper sighs, "I just want this cycle to end before it escalates." He then turns to Pacifca, "Speaking of Cycles...Look around you Pacifica." They're in the Northwest storage room of shame.

Pacifica is horrified, "I...I've never been in here before." She admits.

"The Northwest Family is a clan of liars cheats thieves and clown enthusiasts." Stated dipper darkly

"Hey that's my mom! She married into the family!" Defends Pacifica angrily.

"Still counts! She's just another link in the worlds worst chain. Repeating the same abusive passive aggressive behavior her parents and grandparents did to each other." Dipper turns to look at Pacifica "I thought you were better than your parents, I thought you put your past behind you but you didn't. I've seen the way people talk about you, it's not nice. When you're not around your so called friends say some pretty vicious things. That your attitude is the only thing keeping anyone from becoming real friends with you. If you want to me to be your friend I suggest you stop with the attitude and start being nice. I honestly thought of you as a friend Pacifica." Those words break her heart.

Dipper continues to glare. "I should just leave you to rot...but for better or for worse, we DID have it coming for what we did to you...So if You want REAL friends see me in a week, I don't want to see you for a while."

Dipper then signals to Wendy that he's ready to go but then Pacifica blurts our "My parents hit me when I don't do what they want me to do. I'm scared Dipper I really am..." Pacifica cries as they pause to glance at each other, her, then each other...

Wendy sighs, "Were gonna have to forgive her completely, pretend the last week never happened, and befriend her aren't we?" Asked Wendy with annoyed resignation.

Dipper also sighs but nods, "Sometimes...it sucks being the good guys."

On the way out Dipper restores Preston's head and Wendy slams him against the wall with her hatchet at his throat "if I hear you hit Pacifica for anything harder than swatting a mosquito I will personally come here, cut your balls off and feed them to you with caviar on toast points! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!" Wendy threatens Preston...who's quiet...turns out Wendy had accidentally slammed his head into a loose nail in the wall...killing him instantly...

A pale Dipper...who'd been filming Preston wet himself...quickly deleted the video off Wendy's phone...while Wendy vomits...Dipper shrinks the corpse and feeds it Scmebulock, bleaches away any other evidence...and walks Wendy away comforting her...

...a week later...

"Y'know you don't have to do this." Said Dipper, Pacifica shook her head..."You guys gave me WAY more chances then I deserved...More importantly I owe Wendy for killing my dad-"

"Never thought I'd here someone say THAT." Said Wendy surprised.

Pacifca smirked, "In any case...I want to make things right with Wendy...to PROVE I can be a good friend to all of you." She says as she follows Wendy up the roof shack...

Wendy tells Dipper not follow them and refuses to tell him what she's planning and just tells him to go outside and 'enjoy the show'...

Dipper walks outside curious, looks to the roof-

 **GAH!**

Just in time to see a naked Pacifica jump screaming from the roof, riding the pine tree as she dose so...

Dipper flustered, "What?"

Pacifica hits the ground unconscious...

When she comes too both Wendy and Dipper are looking down at her and Dipper has a funny look and she asks "what's with the look?"

"Hmmm... so you ARE a real Blonde."

The pieces fall together and Pacifica remembers she jumped naked, She screams an covers herself.

Wendy laughs and tosses her her clothes, "Okay, were even."

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	220. In the Pines

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

Gamelover41592: And all it cost her was her innocence

RasenganFin: hmmmm...you've actually given me an idea here, I'll use some of this not to worry.

The Howling Behemoth: thank you

...III...

It was a tragic day in Ponyville indeed...

There would be no singing...

No Candy...

No parties...

No sunshine(Princess Celestia herself had ordered that it be allowed to rain to match the mood)...

No smiling...

For today was the The day of Twilight Sparkles funeral...

 _"Had it really only been three months since that fateful day?"_ Thought Twilight's loved one's... The day where everything went so horribly wrong?...

...

 _The rest of the main 5 gathered happily around their friend in her library. Today had been a VERY disorienting experience having their cutie marks switched around and everything. But Twilight had come through for them yet again! She was truly the bestest friend one could ever hope to have! And now she was about to once again prove how amazing she was by finishing Starswirl's spell!_

 _Twilight smiled as she began the enchantment, "_ _ _From all of us together, together we're friends. With the marks of our destinies made one, there is magic without end!"__

 ** _ _ZAP!__**

 _ _Suddenly a great light enveloped the purple unicorn...she began to rise in the air, glowing ever more brightly...  
__

 ** _ _BOOM!__**

 _ _And suddenly she was back to normal, face-down on the ground...not moving...  
__

 _ _"...Sugarcube? You okay?" Asked Applejack cautiously, she trotted over and felt her pulse...she had none.__

 _ _Fear gripped the cowgirls heart, "GET A MEDIC!" She bellowed...but it was too late...  
__

 _..._

Celestia swept away a tear as her pupil's casket was brought into the room, for the life of her she couldn't understand what went wrong! No matter how she looked at it, the completed spell should have whisked Twilight away to the Astral plane and turned her into a Princess! How...

Celestia sighed...she supposed it didn't matter now...all that mattered was that her beloved Twilight...was no more...

As they all wept, the preacher stepped in front of the open Casket. "Dearly beloved we are gathered here to pay our respect's to Twilight Sparkle. A dear friend-

Nods to the Mane 5 and the Princesses who were barely holding it together...

-family member-

Gestures to Twilight's parent's, Shining Armor, Candace, and Spike...also barely holding on as is.

-And pillar of the community."

Gestures to the whole of Ponyville who'd come out for this.

"So let us look upon her one last time and honor the visage of such a wonderful person." He gestures to the casket and Twilight's cheerful yet lifeless form-

 **CRASH!**

Right before TWILIGHT SPARKLE Fell from a hole in the sky and crushed the casket and her 'body' into a pulp beneath her ride.

Twilight sighed as she watched the stunned/horrified faces of her former home covered in 'her' blood.

"You just couldn't help yourself, could you Star?" She asks her co-pilot with resigned annoyance, a young human-ish girl just shrugs with a giggle...

 **...(Music intro starts)...**

 **Hey girl, hey girl don't lie to me tell me where did you sleep last night?**

 **In the pines, in the pines where the sun never shines. I will shiver the whole night through.**

 **Hey girl, hey girl where will you go? I'm going where the cold wind blows...**

 **In the pines, in the pines where the sun don't ever shine. I will shiver the whole night through.**

 **Hey girl, hey girl don't lie to me tell me where did you sleep last night?**

 **...(music ends)...**

The last several hours had been a bit of a blur, first many more odd vehicles came from the newly-made hole in the sky...and all of them began to stream out-

 **HUMANS!**

Screams Lyra Heartstrings as she jumps forward excited- **ZAP!** And immediately got hit by a taser, Bon-bon simply sighs exasperated. "Oh, no. Not again." And apologizes to the newly identified 'humans' as she drags her twitching friend away...

Before anyone could really absorb what was happening; a brief yet heated discussion leads to Celestia, Luna, Candace, Twilight and the humans locking themselves away in Ponyville town hall...for a LONG yet heated discussion...it was almost night before they finally took a break and came out...

The ponies were stunned..Celestia looked like she'd been crying! She was a mess! Her sister Luna was comforting her, and dismissing all questions directed at them...

Behind them was an equally distraught Shining Armor who was being lead out by a saddened yet resolute Candace.

Oblivious to the ensuing drama was the Mane 5, who were eagerly awaiting their newly returned friend to come out.

"THISISTHEMOSTAWESOMETHINGTOHAPPENEVER!TWILIGHTISBACKICAN'TWAITTOTHROWHERAPARTY!IT'LLBETHEBIGGESTONEEVER!" Shouts Pinkie Pie barely catching her breath. Her friends were quick to agree...well, save Spike.

"Uh...look, I'm glad she's alive and everything...but what happened to her? Why was their a fake corpse of her?" Asked Spike nervously.

Rainbow shrugs dismissively, "Eh, there's probably a big Egghead explanation for the whole thing...knowing Twilight, I'll probably fall asleep half-way through it."

Rarity puts a comforting hoof on Spike's shoulder, "Dear, what dose it matter what happened? The important thing is Twilight is back with us again and everything is back to normal!" She exclaimed happily.

Spike frowned but said, "Uh...okay, I guess your right." He said that...and yet...he couldn't help but feel something...BAD in the air.

Speak of the devil-

"Look guys! Twilight is coming out!" Shouts Applejack excited.

Indeed she was...along with six other humans, happily talking with them

One was an oriental boy- wait was she A SHE? They couldn't tell - with a black- or was it RED? -ponytail.

Standing next to him was a boy with white hair and green eyes.

Another was a blonde girl with butterfly wings and a strange scepter swirling around her hands.

Yet Another was an oriental girl with long black hair and a purple line in- Wait, now she was a dark haired oriental boy with a red coat?... whose mere presence for some reason made Spike want to instinctively bow to him?

Next to her was a boy with a sword and a white bear-eared hat.

And right next to Twilight was a boy in a pine tree hat and carrying an old red book marked with a six-fingered golden hand...with a robotic hand while staring at Twilight with a half-robotic face.

"TWILIGHT!" Came a familiar shout to the Purple Alicorn's right.

Twilight groaned, She'd hoped she'd have more time...

Dipper Pines put a comforting robotic mandible on her shoulder, "Want us to distract them so you can slip away?" He asks concerned...giving the approaching group a dark look.

Twilight sighed, "No...I knew when coming back I'd have to face them sooner or later...besides...they WERE my best friends...and we DID have good times together...I owe them the truth."

"TWILGHT!" Shouted the Mane 5 as they happily ponced on their friend-

 **CLANG!**

Only to run head long into a green energy shield, confused they looked and saw the white haired boy had put up said shield.

"Hey, what in tarnation do you think your doing, buddy!?" Demands Applejack.

"Twilight just had a VERY intense talk with Princess Celestia, the last thing she needs right now is to be bowled over." Said Danny Phantom darkly.

This baffled the mane 5, "Wait, why would any conversation Twilight would have with Celestia be intense? They love each other!" Perks up Fluttershy.

Dipper rolled his eye's, "Show's what you know..."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Asked Rainbow annoyed.

"GUYS!" Shouted Twilight, "I appreciate what your trying to do...but let me handle this."

The others looked reluctant...but agreed.

"We'll be with team Gama if you need us Twilight."

Twilight nodded and then lead the the excited- if slightly put off by the newcomers attitude -Mane 5 to a private area to talk.

"What was with those jerks you were hanging out with Twilight?" Asked Rainbow flatly.

Twilight had to really restrain herself to not hit her, "Those JERKS are my friends." She said annoyed.

Spike had finally gained enough courage to ask, "Twilight...what happened to you?"

Twilight sighed, "During my...'ascension' I was accosted by Dr. Discord-

"Someone call my name!?" Shouts Discord as he leaps out of nowhere sporting a flashy clown get-up.

"DISCORD, NOT NOW!" Shouted Twilight with an intensity that could give even Fluttershy's stare a run for it's money.

Discord suddenly turned very pale, "Oh...I see...it's one of THOSE types of stories." He coughs nervously as he hastily takes off the clown stuff, "Right...I'll just...yeah..." He rambles awkwardly as he makes a hasty retreat.

Pinkie Pie suddenly looked concerned, "Uh...Twilight? Why did you 'shoo away the Clown'? You know your only supposed to do that when things are about to take a turn for the sour and depressing right?...right?" She asked nervously.

Twilight sighs, "Well...then that should match the mood perfectly." She admitted somberly.

And now her 'friends' were VERY concerned, "Sugarcube...what's wrong? You know you can tell us, were your friends!" Insisted Applejack.

Twilight gives them a long look, "Are we?" She asked in a genuinely curious yet melancholy way.

They all gaped at her horror, "Wha...of course we are! How can you ask that?!" Demanded Rainbow.

Twilight glared, "Let me answer your question with a question...something I've been wanting to ask you for so long...what kind of 'friends' choose a wedding over their best friend!?" She snapped angrily.

...there...she FINALLY said it...and this would only go downhill from there...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: The song is 'In the Pines' by Danny Farrant and Paul Rawson**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	221. A pig or a friend? 13: RasenganFin

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

The Howling Behemoth: No title? Shoot, well I've fixed that now. It's called, 'in the pines' check out the music intro on Youtube, it's like a more adult Gravity falls intro.

RasenganFin: (shrug) I was just as surprised as you are, I mainly watched it to see what the big deal was...next thing y'know I'm hooked. I strongly recommend it and I don't care who knows it!

ImperialStar: 1. discussed next chapter 2. discussed on PM

Gamelover41592: thank you

...III...

After Pacifica gets dressed she asks why Dipper was able to look her in the eye while she was nude.

Wendy smirks and tells her that Dippers seen her naked enough times where it's no longer a thing that bothers him. Dipper blushes at this, "Wait, no...that's not quite- "Dude, your a perv now- but in a good way, so just roll with it." Said Wendy teasingly.

Dipper sighs...the shrugs and quickly says to Pacifica; "The freckles on your lower half made you look even more cute." He admits with resigned embarrassment/sincerity.

Pacifca blushes then leans over to whisper's in his ear, "Thank you." then walks away quickly with a blush on her face...and Dipper's belt.

Dipper's eye's lit up confused, "Wha?" And then his pants fell down. "GAH!" He shouts but before he can pull them up, a smirking Wendy yanks down his boxers.

Pacifica laughs at the sight, "That dimple makes you look cute too!" She retorted playfully.

Dipper sighs but thanks her as she goes inside...

...

Later Pacifica asks Stan for a job at the Shack so she can spend more time with her first real friends to which he replies "aren't you the filthy stinking rich girly?" "Do you want help or not?" Asks Pacifca annoyed. Stan shrugs. "Fine you can start by stocking shelves and sweeping floors and if I need a live attraction you're it...I've been considering bringing back the Banshee exhibit and you'd be perfect, How much do you want an hour?" "What's minimum wage? Honestly I have no idea." Admitted Pacifca.

Smelling blood in the water, Stan pounced and offers her well below minimum while telling her otherwise which she accepts with a shrug. If asked he'd easily rationalizes this cause, like he said before, she's filthy stinking rich. After she leaves Stans office Mabel pops up and asks what she's doing talking to Stan.

She says she got a summer job and she's going to be around more. Mabel asks if that means they're friends now. Pacifica glares at her suspicious and asks "didn't you throw Dipper out of the house so you could have a slumber party?"

Mable scratched her head nervously, "Well I wouldn't say 'throw out...'"

"No we are not friends Mabel. I'm your brothers and Wendy's friend, not yours. Maybe you should consider how Dipper feels before you make decisions involving him." And leaves her in a huff.

Suddenly Dipper pops up, "Hey Pacifica! Soos needs help finding a date to his cousin's wedding, want to help?" Mable just gaps as Dipper, Wendy and PACIFICA go off on an adventure together.

"But...I'm part of the 'power trio'", she says dejected...

...

"Soos just be yourself", offered Wendy. Soos nods and walks up to a girl at a mall Kiosk, "YOUR FACE IS NICE! I'M A SOOS!" Hew shouts nervously. The girl responds by kicking him in the junk, macing him, and pushing the Kiosk in his direction it slams into him...then keeps going-

 **GAH!**

Screamed Wendy, Dipper and Pacifica as they were also hit by the kiosk and dragged along with Soos-

 **SPLASH!**

Right into the fountain...

Mable- watching all this hiding in a plant -smirks. "I'll show them to leave me out of an adventure! I'll get Soos dozens of cute honey's without their help!" She runs into the nearest Girls lavatory with a megaphone, "ALRIGHT GIRLS! IT'S LOVE TIME!" Said girls responded with screams and beating the ever-loving frack out of Mable...

Meanwhile, Soos keeps bombing at asking girls out. After the last one ends with a store on fire Dipper Wendy and Pacifica are run ragged and getting hungry.

So Soos offers to get them something deep fried on a stick. He goes to MeatCute.

"I'll have 4 of your number 3's please." Said Soos to the new employer named Melody. He then pulls out his wallet while Melody starts to pack up the order..and then she see's the wallet. "Hey, I have a wallet just like that!" She exclaims as she shows him her matching TigerFist wallet

...

"What is taking Soos so long? Do you think he got his head stuck in a game consul again?" Asked Wendy. Pacifica looked at them confused, "What are you-

"Don't ask." They both responded to her, they all then went to see what the hold up was...and are surprised to see Soos laughing with a girl...and getting along?

"Hey, Soos? Who's your friend here?" Asks Wendy interested. Soos blushes as he realized he'd been too busy having fun to ask, "What's your name?" He asks quickly. "Melody."

Dipper smiled, "Well, I'm glad you finally got a date and to go to your cousins wedding."

Soos blanched, "What? No, I haven't asked her...I thought I was supposed to ask mall patrons, not the employees."

 _"Huh, that explains why he wasn't panicking with her since before he was trying too hard."_ Realizes Wendy

Meanwhile Soos continues; "Besides I can't ask her. Not only has she collected all 117 Tigerfist Ultra rare's she can sing the entir hot dog song BACKWARDS! She's way out of my league!"

"Uh, you realize I can hear everything you've said right?" Asked Melody with a giggle. Soos blushes, "Um..."

"I'm very flattered by the sentiment, but your a cool dude. I wouldn't say no to a date with you!"

Soos was dumbstruck, "Uh...really?"

Melody nodded, "Yeah, actually there's a movie I've been wanting to see. Would you like to?"

Still not believing his luck, Soos nodded dumbly. "Great, I'll be at the plaza at 5! See you then!" As she goes off on her brake, she looks at Dipper and Wendy and asks if they want to make it a double date-

Both blush, "Uh- "They do!" Says Soos Quickly before they could say otherwise. And Melody happily accepts it and leaves before they can say otherwise.

Dipper blushes he's shocked and happy at the thought of going to the movies with Wendy(Oh and Soos and Melody too) while Wendy is as flustered as Soos was not even 5 minutes prior.

She turns to Soos, "Uh, Soos. I'm not sure-

Soos gets on his knees and beg, "Come on guys! She's a total babe! I HAVE to make this work!"

Wendy(nervously) and Dipper(happily) agree. Pacifica sighs at this, "Great. I've been demoted to third wheel." And then she sees Mable spying on them. _"Or, maybe not."_ She thinks with a smirk.

...

Later the two couples go to a zany and raunchy romantic comedy, 'Naked Dessert'. Mable sees this...sighs and goes to a sappy kid movie called 'cute kitties 2' instead. She sees the sign pointing to her theater and goes in and sits down in a reasonably good seat. Just then two large men sat around her completely boxing and scrunching her in.

Mable tried to squirm in discomfort, but couldn't even do that! "Uh, guys? Could you-

"NO." they both said flatly without looking at her.

Mable sighed, "Well, at least the movie will be good..."

The large fan to her right laughed, "Oh, it will be! The producers guaranteed that the Bloodening VI would have 10 times more gore then Bloodening V or double your money back!"

Mable's eye's widen, "Wait, 'the Bloodening VI'? Don't you mean-

And then some poor schumucks head gets torn in half and shoved up his own rectum on screen...

Mable starts to cry...she's in the wrong theater! Worse, the two fans around her refuse to move so she was stuck!

Meanwhile, outside the theater Pacifica laughs as she removes the fake sign that lead Mable astray and listens to the sweet music of Mable's screams...

...

Not too far away, Hand Witch sighs as she watches numerous couples go in to see 'Naked Dessert' on yet another lonely night for herself. _"It's not fair! What do those ladies have that I don't?"_ She glares, "Well, maybe they'd like a more 3-D experience!" She laughs as her magic invades the theater.

"SHHHHH! Mam, if you don't stay quiet I'll have to ask you to leave." Stated manager Thompson annoyed.

"Sorry." Apologized Hand witch sincerely, then goes back to casting her dark spell more quietly...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	222. Fall of Grim Tales 6: ImperialStar

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

 **...**

 **AN: This chapter is a gift to** **ImperialStar for doing my challenge  
**

...responses...

Wicked.A: Thank you. I'll add your suggestion to the pile. A tie between Star and Marco.

Gamelover41592: Yes, he dose.

The Howling Behemoth: Thank you

MysterD47: Sorry, completely forgot about those

...III...

"Uh...you did clarify to Junior that we made Minnie do this? And that she wasn't kidnapped?" Asked Grim to his wife Mandy.

Mandy glares outward to the nightmarish landscape that composed her kingdom... "Nope."

...

Dipper gulped as the angry skeleton boy mercilessly castrated all the Manitour. Frantically he hides behind rocks... _"Okay Dipper...no need to panic, you've been in worse jams then this. Just sneak out while he's busy, don't draw attention to your-_

 **POOF!**

A piece of paper popped up in thin air before his face:

 **Congratulations! A good pal of a 'stooge' of mine named ImperialStar has requested you get an 'upgrade' so who am I to disagree!?  
**

 **Sincerely, Slenderman**

 **ENJOY!**

 **ZAP!**

Before Dipper can even blink, the note hovering in midair crumbles to dust and zaps his privates-

 **CRACK!**

Which then grow 10ft and beefy enough to shatter the boulder he was hidding behind...

Dipper felt giddy, he wasn't a short-stack anymore! "AWESOME!" He shouted excited-

"YOU!" Shouted a voice in front of him.

Dipper gulped as he remembered his situation...the skeleton kid with a scythe...about to slice a now VERY big target...Dipper tried to run, only to immediately cry out in pain...it felt his nuts were trying to drag a boulder...which it basically was in this case...

Dipper could do nothing but whimper realize that being a 'short-stack hadn't been half bad, and watch as Junior began to slice his junk up like a meat grinder...

...

Chi sighed as she made to look busy looking for Dipper... This was pathetic! She was a princess of the underworld! She should be at home eating candy and listening to music! Maybe cuddling up to Mimi, not practically lost in a filthy forest searching for a disgusting boy!

 _"Nuts to this! If this MALE was dumb enough to get in this predicament, he can get himself out!"_ She thinks to herself in a huff! She sees that Wendy is still arguing with Minnie...Honestly, what kind of girl defended a boy at the expense of another girl? THESE HUMANS ARE CRAZY! Anyway, now was her chance to slip away...hmm, now where was that ugly Shack...ah! That direction! She was sure of it! She walked through a nearby bush-

 **GAH!**

-And fell down the steep hill that was behind it...

...

Dipper groaned in pain, fortunately Junior had knocked him near the corpse of a manitour who had a health potion...otherwise he'd have bleed to death...although healed, he was back to being a 'short stack' and he couldn't have been happier!

True he was still naked and wandering the woods with a killer on the prowl...but at least he could walk again!

 **CRASH!**

"Ow, my legs!" Groaned Dipper as a naked Chi landed on top of him. She glares at him, "Great, your still alive." She mused sarcastically. "Like thing's couldn't-

She trailed off as she saw him naked...her eye's went right to his groin...and became stay and wide.

Dipper blushed, "What?"

KIWWWAAAAIIIII!" Screamed Chi as she gave him a hug!

"EH!?" Shouted Dipper.

Chi pointed to his groin, "The only reason I really hated guys was because they were so huge and disgusting- 'down there' -but your's is like a cute little, baby caterpillar!"

Dipper's ego shatter dwith each word...and yet as she lifted him up like luggage, "I think...I think I may just give this marriage a shot...give you a shot." She whisperd in a flirty way.

Dipper blushed...then smirked as she carried him away. It was official...being a short-stack rocked!

THERE YOU ARE!

And then Junior popped in with a scythe/chainsaw combo!

"RUN AWAY!"

Screamed Dipper and she did just that...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	223. Resident Falls 4: ImperialStar

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

 **...**

 **AN: This chapter is a gift to** **ImperialStar for doing my challenge**

 **...**

...responses...

Gamelover41592: Yes it was

RasenganFin: Yes?

...III...

 **"Help me...PLEASE!**

 **The red haired girl screamed in agony as she froze over...**

Dipper gasped as he woke up, _"what...what was that? Who was it? Why was I-_

-And then a half dressed Pacifica running past his bed got ride of all those thoughts, "Come on Dipper! We'll be late!"

A flustered Dipper nodded dumbly and complied...

...

Mable was in H-E-DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS...no two ways about it. The room was cramped, the roof was leaky, the roaches had long since overwhelmed and domesticated the hotels.

Her new roommates seemed nice...after they'd put their clothes back on- she was starting to see why they'd been off this room was broiling! She'd already had to take off her precious sweater...and she was getting dangerously close to considering taking off more! She was sweating like a pig!

Jaden had explained that their were three levels to the academy: Gnome Red, Manitour yellow and Gobblewonker Blue.

Gobblewonker Blue: reserved for VIP kids: sons/daughters of world leaders, CEO'S, Influential Civil servants, etc.

Manitour Yellow: Kids from 'common' backgrounds who nonetheless were extraordinary enough to be allowed entrance; young geniuses and the like.

Gnome Red: ...no idea, just seems like they took a bunch of random slackers, orphans and street rats and threw them together under one roof...we 'sorta' attend classes but they mostly have us do grunt work.

"Just a heads up...you can expect a lot of toilet scrubbing in the future." Said Jaden with a sigh as Mable turned green.

 _"Poor Dipper...he's probably having just as much a rotten time as I am! I hope he can survive without me..."_

...

Funny thing; if it had been ANYONE else...Mable would've been right. After all, a bunch of pre-teen's forced to go through Advanced Calculus, Geo-soci-political economics 101, Virology studies, foreign languages, Quantum mechanics, Self-defense classes, and shadow warfare...any other kid would be bored out of their mind!

...but not Dipper! Finally, classes that actually challenged him! Instead of the 'normal' boring grade-school level classes back home. He was acing them all...well, except for Geo-soci-political economics 101, foreign languages, and Self-defense classes(ESPECIALLY this one)...hadn't had shadow warfare yet but it sounded...ominous.

Thankfully, Pacifica was an expert on the classes he was struggling with(embarrassingly this also included self-defense) and agreed to tutor him...provided he tutor her on everything else(which she was struggling with).

As they got to the cafeteria for lunch, "Okay Dipper, time for you to be introduced to the various cliques-

"Oh, what goths, nerd's, preppies, jocks. That sorta thing?" Asked Dipper jokingly.

Pacifica rolled her eyes, "Yeah, Dipper? The 90's called they want their sit-com buzzwords back." She snarked with a chuckle. She shook her head, "But seriously things work a bit differently here."

She then points them out:

The Merchants: Buncha ambitious social climbers (mostly people from Manitour yellow) who barely got in here. These guys would sell their own mothers for a grape! However, you can always count on them to have anything you want. Their current leader is a foreign kid named Vulgrim.

The Esoteric's: These guys are into some weird stuff! In a different world, they'd be the 'creepy kids that sit alone and never get picked first for dodge ball' ...but in this messed-up ever-changing world...crazy is starting to become the 'new Einstein'. Their into all sorts of fringe and pseudo-sciences, I hear they even go into mumbo-jumbo like Alchemy or necromancy! Their leader is some smooth talker hot-shot named Facilier...basically, might be your next head inventor...but you wouldn't want to invite them to a party...or let them within 10 feet of your female relatives.

The intellectuals: Yesterday's 'nerd' is tomorrow's world leaders! Who'd a thought? Now this group is a bit more interesting, 'officially' it's one group...but there's currently a bit of a power struggle with two sub-groups struggling for dominance. There's 'The enlightened'(full of themselves, much?) who are all about 'the future', their lead by Gero. and then their are the 'romantics' (what is that even supposed to mean?) who are all about 'taking a step back' and reconsidering 'the past'(like steampunk and clockwork old timey stuff like that). Their lead by Steam Smithe. The group is however being(currently) lead by one Victor Von Doom(I know what your thinking...and I agree, his parents clearly hated him)

The Laberours: (again, mostly manitour Yellow) these are guys who've made peace with the fact that they'll never be 'bigshots'...and have settled for basically being 'minions'. Their basically up for anything...for the right price. Their leader is some Yah-hoo named Napoleon who insists everyone calls him 'comrade'.

The Preppies: (no wrong preppies, the OTHER kind) These guys are NUTS, whether your rich or not as long as you believe the world will end tomorrow your welcome with open arms! Their leader is Burt Gummer.

The Locals: All the rich local kids of Gravity falls...which actually is just me at the moment, all the others got sent on a field trip to Racoon City- I didn't go, due to a schedule conflict with my fathers yacht race -So feel free to share my table...when the others get back...well, I'm the leader of the group so it won't really matter what they think of you. I LIKE you, and that's all that matters!"

"Ahhh...thanks Pacifica!" Gushed Dipper gratefully. Pacifca just smirked, _"This is going better then I thought..."_

Anyway, then you have 'The Patriots': Rich kids from all over America. They take the 'America is the #1 super power in the world' seriously. I swear they practically worship the founding fathers like gods! Their leader is Joseph Seed.

The Foreigners: Rich kids from all over the world...bit of a rivalry between them and the patriots for obvious reasons Their leader Pagan Min...his family used to just be one of the rich elite of China...but then when the Soviet Union Collapsed in the 70's, the Chinese communist Government...they tired to stand on their own but over-pollution caused their society to collapse through viral infection... But in the 90's his family rose in power and united them under their rule forming the 'Great Kingdom of Kyrat...their basically a dictatorship now. In any case, the current heir to the 'dynasty' is eager to prove that Kyrat is the better superpower...I don't know about that...but all the other non-american rich families seem to flocking under their banner...make of that what you will.

The Elites: Basically the equivalent of 'High school seniors' it's their last year here before they graduate and thus they have greater authority and privileges then anyone else. But more importantly their the top students and the most likely to gain a scholarship from Umbrella. Their leader is Manitour Yellow that rose through the ranks by his own merits named Andrew Ryan. And what he says in this School...GOES.

"And well, that about covers all you need to know about how the school runs regarding the students, I'll talk about the classes after we eat..."

Dipper however is looking around, "Huh, wasn't their a third group...red something? I only see blue and Yellow."

Pacifica coughs nervously, "Uh...they have a...DIFFERENT place to go eat."

...

"SERIOUSLY?! THIS IS HOW WE HAVE TO GRAB LUNCH!?" Screams Mable as she runs through the forest chased by a mountain lion. "LESS TALK MORE RUN!" Screamed Jaden and His friends.

Suddenly fellow Gnome Red Gideon Gleeful walked in front of them, "Hey friends, my 'dinner' escaped my trap and beat me up. So I was wondering-

"EVERY CUTE GIRL FOR HERSELF!" Shouts Mable as she grabs Gideon and kicks toward the lion.

They flee safely as Gideon's screams of agony echo through the forest...

...III…

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	224. Alicorn Genesis 4

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

RasenganFin: Eh, I was running out of steam for this story and I was grasping at straws. What can I tell you?

Gamelover41592: Thank you.

Dusk: If I don't no one else will, I'm not a huge fan of Enabler's/co-dependents relationship's OR 'Karma Houdini's'

Wicked.A: Eh, more or less.

NyaNyaKittyFace: Eh, I liked Bioshock infinite, but Comstock was kinda...boring(as a character, not his plot twist backstory, I enjoyed that)

...III...

"YOUR SUING US!?" Asked Celestia confused. The blue-maned pony adjusted his glasses as he nodded, 'You-Know-Who' is a registered Trademark of 'Harry Potter', the estate of J.K. Rowling demands an immediate stop of the unauthorized use of that nickname!" Shouted the lawyer Pony.

Celestia just face-hooves herself...she didn't have time for this nonsense...

...

They had to delay Departure for another day or so; Preparations needed to be made, relatives needed to be called, politics needed to be wrangled. All that.

It had been decided that their official coronation...and the Trial of Jack Harper would be postponed until AFTER the current crisis was dealt with.

It had been decided that the Mane Six would be sent on Airships piloted by a small garrison of loyal royal guards, 'officially' they'd be touring the country on a PR trip to ease the populace into the idea of their now being 'six' more princesses...

 _"Soon to be more."_ Thinks Twilight to herself with a chuckle, then frowned as her thoughts went back to the current situation. They'd just been told by Celestia that the royal guards sent to the various Zero Dawn facilities had not only reported them completely impregnable to means both mundane and magical, but at least one of the facilities had come online already...

Naturally, her friends were confident that despite everything they'd triumph like they always did! And Twilight wanted to share their confidence...and yet...this time felt DIFFERENT-

"TWILLY!" Twilight immediately brightened hearing the voice of her BBBFF Shining Armor, she turns around just in time to be glomped by her former foal-sitter/sister-in-law.

"TWILLY! YOUR A PRINCESS LIKE ME NOW! WE HAVE SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT!" Squealed Candance excited, Twilight just smiled and hugged her back and greeted her parents as they walked in...

...

"I don't like this Applejack, I don't like this one bit." Stated Granny Smith flatly. "Nope." Agreed Big Mac. Applejack shook her head, "Come on Granny, Big Mac. me and the girls have saved Equestria numerous times and NOW were Princesses on top of everything- Gestures to her wings while extending them -This is gonna be a piece of apple Fritter!" Says Applejack confidently.

Granny just shakes her head at this 'youthful bravado', one look around shows that the rest of the six- Except perhaps Twilight and Fluttershy -seemed equally confident in the missions success...Hopefully those two would keep their wits about them and keep the others afloat...

 _"Still...at least she'll be safe...in the air of a military-grade ship, surrounded by armed guards, and equipped with her new alicorn powers and the element of honesty...in fact..."_

Granny nods, and makes a decision. "Applejack I'd like you to take Applebloom with you..."

Little did she know that Sweetie Belle and Scotaloo would be going with their respective Sister-figures. Scotaloo because her house was being fumigated and Sweetie Belle since their parents were going on yet ANOTHER extended trip...much to Rarity's irritation.

...

Twilight was excited! They were going to test Starswirl's spell on Shinning! He'd volunteered, and if this works...he'd be an Alicorn just like them! She trots happily toward the main hall, element of Magic perched proudly on her Tiara.

As she's walking past the princesses Room-

Luna sigh's can be heard, "Candace is certainly a lucky girl...soon she'll have a partner to share eternity with." She said in a rather melancholy way.

"Now sister, don't fret. Need I remind you that by the sound of it Shining will simply be the first of many new Alicorns MALE's..." Points out Celestia optimistically.

Curious, Twilight listened in.

Luna perked up, "Yes I suppose your right- she gets a thoughtful looks -OH! Perhaps we could tell the girls to make finding the males a priority!" She asks with a devilish smirk.

Twilight blushes, were they seriously going to ask her and her friends to play matchmak-

Twilight let out a sigh of relief when Celestia shook her head, "I'm sorry Lu-Lu, maybe under different circumstances... But we can't afford that luxury right now. We need all the Alicorns we can get!"

Luna sighed but nodded, "Oh, what I wouldn't give to wake up to find a warm body beside me who wasn't going to just die in a mere century while I lived on..." She admitted sorrowfully.

Celesita gave her sister a hug, "You always have me sister."

Luna smirks, "Thanks Tia...but you know I don't swing that way, right?"

Celestia giggles, "Oh, YOU!" She playfully slaps her shoulder as they both laugh together.

But while they laughed, a young purple Unicorn was suddenly very thoughtful. _"Huh...I never thought of it like that...But I guess being immortal WOULD be tough on any relationship to a mortal pony...poor Luna. Well, I'll do what I can to find her an alicorn Stallion! She won't be lonely anymore!"_

With a resolute smile Twilight walks forward with determination...and then her thoughts turned to less pleasant matters...

 _"Wait a minute...what dose that mean for me? Will...dose this mean I won't ever find a special Somepony?...wait, will ANY of my friends get to have a special somepony?! Will everyone we love age away and die!? ...wait...will I outlive my parents?!"  
_

Fortunately this downward spiral of thoughts did NOT derail her concentration during the ritual as Shining became an Alicorn.

Although he eagerly embraced his ecstatic wife...he excused Twilight to go to bed. He'd known her long enough that when she got that 'look' on her face...it was best to give her space...you only had to experience your room being set on fire one time before you got THAT message.

...

They spent one more night at the castle both to rest after the ritual and to give Luna and Celestia time to take what they'd learned from the ritual to calibrate the elements to work long-distances so the Mane 6 could still do the ritual even when scattered across Equestria.

When they packed up and left on their airships, there was no fanfare, no real ceremony. Time was of the essence after all. No, it was just a quick goodbye to family and friend then off with them...well, most of them.

"Thanks for coming to keep me company Discord, I appreciate it." Bubbled Fluttershy happily as she flew up and gave the chaotic Chimera a hug.

Discord went blushed a nice shade of purple/green then shook her off. "Don't get the wrong idea! I'm just going with you because otherwise I'd have no one to spend time with except the Debbie Downer sisters!" Huffed the Trickster spirit as he points toward the two amused looking alicorn princesses.

"Whatever you say, Discord!" Said Celestia trying VERY hard to keep a straight face.

"Yes, whatever I SAY! And don't you forget it!" Said Discord with a snarl.

"hungry?" Asked Fluttershy helpfully as she held up a tray. Discord's eye's brightened, "COOKIES!" He clapped his hands enthusiastically, he then took off his horns which grew mouthy tentacles that ate the treats gleefully.

Fluttershy just giggled happily...

...

Twilight smiled as she looked over to her pink-haired friend as she ascended into her airship. "Well, Fluttershy seems taken care of...but what about the others? What about...me?" She thinks forlornly...

She knew that there'd be plenty of guys that would become Alicorns during this trip, and that would probably work out well for the others...but HER? Twilight was self-aware enough to know that her 'interests' and 'hobbies' although exciting to her was only tolerable to others(in her age group) in small dosages.

Nope, probability was against her either. Either guys would be within her age group but wouldn't touch her personality with a 10-ft pole, or would like her personality but be too OLD to desire a relationship...hoping for a mixture of the two was just unlikely as it was impractical!

She sighed, she tried to go back to the more noble and selfless pursuit of trying to figure out a way to extend the Alicorn ritual more so that her friends family could be added...

And yet...she couldn't help but occasionally fantasies about a teenage Stanford Pines...no mater how laughable the scenario was...

...Later...

They took off and landed at their destination at Canterlot without incident. To prevent from being mobbed, Twilight had an illusion of a rather plain and grey earth pony put over herself. She'd have to appear before the mayor for a grand ceremony later that evening(they had to do things like that to keep a lid on their TRUE purpose), but for now she was going to the Canterlot Museum.

Now Twilight knew that something bad was probably going to happen here...but until then she vowed to enjoy the new 'pre-three tribes era exhibit!'

"Explain to me again why I have a disguise of a purple infant colt?" Asked spike annoyed as he leaned against a nearby wanted poster of a little blue colt.

Twilight sighed as she paid for their tickets at the Museum front desk, 'I'm sorry Spike, but I'm rusty on my illusion spells. This spell was the only one I could still remember that was your size." Said Twilight as she picked him up to carry him on her back.

Spike sighed but went with it...what else could he do?

Twilight examined her pamphlet at all the new exhibits showcasing all the civilizations that existed BEFORE the pre-unification three tribes of Equestria: Roamen, Haysian, Neighgypt, the Empire of Thulsa Doom-

"OH! Thulsa Doom! Now's my chance to see if all those letters I sent the curator paid off!" Exclaims Twilight excitedly.

Spike groaned, 'letter's' was putting it mildly. His throat had hurt for days after sending a proverbial catalogue worth of complaints to the poor curator...who had responded in a VERY inflammatory way.

He'd hidden the 'responses' so it didn't hurt Twilight's feelings...but he guessed he had no choice now... "Twilight, I'm sorry to say this...but the Curator won't do as you ask."

Twilight's eye's wiped toward him so fast, Spike was worried she'd get whiplash. "What?" She asked in a hurt tone.

Spike winched at this, he then tried to give her a more...'watered down' version of the curators response that wouldn't hurt her adopted mother's feelings...or wouldn't end with his mouth rinsed out with soap...

"I'm sorry, Twilight. But apparently their budget was tight and all the exhibits you talked about already had their placements decided and insured. So apparently it would've cost too much to correct a...frivolous concern?" He says that last part as delicately as possible while bracing for the explosion.

"FRIVOLOUS CONCERN!?" Screams Twilight enraged, her mane in flames. Spikes screams as he's forced jump off as his fanny burns. "I can't believe this! Am I the only one who cares of the seemingly constant misconception of the 'Cult of Set' getting grouped together with the 'Spawn of Set?!' Yes, technically they were sub-sects of the same cult with only a few minor aesthetic differences separating them that were only implemented for tax reasons! BUT IT'S THE PRINCIPLE OF THE THING! They were treated as different groups by their culture! Therefore, it's our duty as academics that we should label them as such! Honestly, am I the only one who cares about the cornerstones of-

-THE CORNERSTONES OF TRUE ARCHEOLOGY! THE CULT OF SET AND THE SPAWN OF SET WERE CONSIDERED DIFFERENT GROUPS BY THEIR CULTURE! THEY SHOULD BE TREATED AS SUCH!"

Twilight smiled at this proclamation. She begins to turn her head toward a fellow TRUE academic-

And her entire world froze...

There standing/shouting in front of an increasingly annoyed guide who in turn was standing in front of the forbidden burial chamber of Thulsa Doom...was Stanford Pines...No, it was a look-alike of Stanford Pines...THAT WAS HER AGE! HER TEENAGE FANTASY HAD COME TRUE!

"Look buddy, if you don't calm down I'll have to have you kicked out!" Snapped the guide.

Her heart racing and her hormones overriding her usual love of rules and order- "Spike! Quick! Cause a distraction! NOW!" Hissed Twilight between her teeth.

Spike looked at her confused, but obeyed with a shrug. He threw a small fire ball at a nearby tapestry.

The guide, seeing this. Panicked and ran to save the priceless ancient relic, as did the nearby guards...

Twilight smiled seeing this...then gaped in horror as her mind finally regained control from her loins. "GAH! I JUST DESTROYED A PRICELESS WORK OF ANCIENT ART!? WHAT WAS I THINKING!?"

She groaned, what was wrong with her!? Just because some random guy just happened to look like her fictional crush and just happened to have the same pet peeve over the same common historical misconception was no reason to lose her senses and go Ga-Ga over some GUY! She wasn't Rarity for crying out loud! She had dignity! She was smart! She was a princess! She-

And then she saw the Stanford Pines look-alike take advantage of the distraction to pull 5 viper teeth from 5 separate creatures from the lands of isle 'Mc-dosen't-exist' from his satchel and places them into the glyph's based on how the ancient 'This-culture-is-a-load-of-baloney' people organized their math...OPENING A HIDDEN DOOR IN THE BURIAL CHAMBER!?

"MY BOOKS ARE COMING TO LIFE BEFORE MY EYES!" Squealed Twilight with delight

And like that...Twilight's loins resumed control as she blissfully followed the apparent avatar of all her fantasies and dreams...

...

The 'look-alike' smiled as he looked around the hidden chamber, "Just one more obstacle...good thing I can read ancient 'Stupid-made-up-language'...wow, the ancient people who came up with these names must've had a LOT of anger issues."

He read the ancient writing correctly as the magic contained within highlighted them...and once done, the nearby snake pictogram peeled itself from the wall, morphed into a real snake and spat out the snake Talisman into his waiting hoof.

He smirked, "Okay, and now just need to get out of here before-

 **SQUEAL!**

He looked behind him and saw a grey earth pony squealing and delight and practically bouncing up and down like a loon.

"OHMYCELESTIA!THISISSOAWESOME!THISISJUSTLIKEINBOOK3:KINGSOFKATMANWHO!WHENSTANFORDPINESDICOVERDTHEANCINETSUNSPHEREOFSOLARISBYFINDINGTHE-

As Twilight let out her inner-fangirl, He just stood there stunned at this unexpected intrusion. "What the- Who are- he shook his head, "Never mind. Listen to me, you need to get out of here! Some dangerous men are-

His eye's get wide, "GET DOWN!" He shouts as he leaps and pushes Twilight to the side-

 **ZAP!**

 **GAH!**

He screamed as he writhed on the ground in agony-

 **STANFORD!**

Screams Twilight horrified. "Whoa, man did you just try and shoot the girl?" Asked a grey maned, green earth pony named Ratso. "Nah, man! Finn don't hit the ladies! I knew he'd jump in front of him! That's what goody-goody types like him do." Said a red maned,white unicorn named finn. "Still man...that's a bit of a gamble, what if he'd been too slow?" Asked a black maned, orange pegasus named Chow.

"Fine! I won't do it again! Can we PLEASE just grabbed the talisman and go!" Shouts Finn impatient.

"You...hurt him..." The three thugs looked up at the grey, sobbing earth pony that was looking over Dipper's writhing body.

"Excuse me?" Asked Finn confused, out of the corner of his eyes he sees an infant purple colt somehow run out of the room fearfully.

Still crying, Twilight turned around...her disguise falling away...and her mane turning to flame...

Now the enforcers may not be the smartest cookies at times...but like most males they shared the survival instinct of knowing when an angry girl was about to kill them...

"Mommy." They whimpered.

...

The next day the Canterlot museum would close it's door's permanently...or it would have if there were any left standing...or any walls to HOLD the doors at all...

But that's a story for tomorrow...let's get back to TODAY...

...

Inside the ruins of what was once a institute for historic learning...a Purple Unicorn began to panic. "GAH! WHAT HAVE I DONE!? MILLIONS OF YEARS OF HISTORY DOWN THE DRAIN! I'M A DISGRACE TO ACADEMICS EVERYWHERE! CELESTIA WILL BANISH ME FOR SURE! OR WORSE! SEND ME BACK TO MAGIC KINDERGARTEN!"

"TWILIGHT! A LITTLE HELP HERE!?"

Twilight turns around to see Spike trying to help up a stunned Stanford look-alike, "You...Your Princess Twilight." He said amazed.

Twilight had to suppress a squee at seeing HIM alive and ready for another adventure! This amazing, brilliant, selfless Stallion! If only he was a...hold the phone...

Twilight got a wicked gleam in her eyes.

"Wait, so you had an illusion on to go see the exhibits too?" The Stallion chuckled, "Wow, that's funny cause actually- Wait, what are you doing?" He asked as Twilight summoned the Element of magic to herself and began to activate it-

...

All across Equestria, the rest of the mane six felt the call from their friend and eagerly responded with their own elements harmonious energies...

...

"I know this sounds crazy, but I'm about to turn you into an Alicorn! An honest to goodness Alicorn PRINCE!" Shouts Twilight excitedly as the power in her element began to reach it's climax.

The stallions eyes went wide, "Wait, what?" He asked confused.

Twilight continued on, "I'm sorry for acting so weird earlier, but between looking/acting like my all-time favorite fictional character and some other emotional issues I've been dealing with...SHOOT! I almost forgot to ask! Would you like to be a prince and live Forever with me!" Shouts Twilight excitedly, then blushes when she realized she said too much in her excitement. "Er, I mean live forever with me and my friends of course." She lied weakly.

Spike slaps his face, "Real smooth." He groans. Honestly, this whole thing read like a poorly-written romance novel...

The stallion was equally flustered as well as confused. This was all happening so fast! And that earlier blow to his body wasn't helping his thought process either. "Wow- I- What- I don't- I mean, YES. I want to do that, but there's something I need to-

"HE SAID YES!" Interrupted Twilight excitedly and she let loose the magic!

The Stallion's eyes went wide, "WAIT! THERE'S SOMETHING I NEED TO TELL YO-

 **ZAP!**

Twilight fought off the exhaustion and rushed toward the best thing that ever happened to her! She could feel it! The ritual was a SUCCESS! The whole area was now shrouded with smoke from the ritual. But she could see his general outline!

For the first time since overhearing that conversation between Luna and Celestia, she felt HAPPY! Twilight didn't care about what happened next! She's never felt this way about someone before! YOU ONLY LIVED ONCE! EVEN IF HE REJECTED HER, SHE WAS GOING FOR IT!

"I LOVE YOU!" Screamed Twilight as he lifted up the obscured visage of the stallions face and kissed him!

...Candance always told her that her first kiss would be special...but that STILL didn't do it justice! She...she felt...COMPLETE. Like there'd been a missing piece of her heart all this time and she'd never known, never suspected, never even thought POSSIBLE.

And now...now it was home...SHE was home...with HIM.

After an eternity...Twilight finally- reluctantly pulled away, opened her eyes as the smoke dissipated...AND SAW A LITTLE, FLUSTERED, BLUE aLICORN COLT IN HER ARMS!?"

"what?" Asked Twilight uncomprehending...

Dipper Pines looked at the PRINCESS who just gave him the best kiss EVER and winched, "Okay, I just want to say it was NEVER my intention to deceive you! I swear, I was about to tell you everything before you hit me with the elements! I ESPECIALLY would have told you sooner if I knew you felt that way!" He exclaimed frantically and sincerely.

"What?" Whimpered a baffled Twilight.

"It's just- I've caused problems at the museum before...I needed a way to fool the guards! And also fool any 'Dark Hands' who saw me! I'm so sorry!" He pleaded.

"What?" Said Twilight again...what could she say?

"I-I...I am so sorry! I promise I'll do ANYTHING to make it up to you! I would NEVER hurt you intentionally...are you mad?" He whimpered.

Twilight...her heart in pieces...sobbing a storm. "I...I have to be alone now..." She ran away in tears.

Dipper groaned, "Wow...I really messed up this time, didn't I?" He looked sorrowfully as the Princess he admired most ran away...

Spike put a comforting claw to his shoulder, "Don't take it too hard...she's going through some things right now." He said in an equally sorrowful voice as he looked toward the direction his adopted mother went...

...Meanwhile...

Deep with the Zero Dawn facility...HEPHAESTUS stirred...the ancient machinery that powered and enabled him...were coming back to life...and the machines...his glorious machines...were ALIVE once more.

His new master had made improvements...and now he would use them...

And thus the Royal Garrison staking out this particular facility could only watch helplessly as giant cannons formed on top of the structure that recently rose from the ground...and fire canisters carrying a new threat to Equestria...to every corner of the globe...

And soon...his brothers and sisters would wake too...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	225. A pig or a friend? 14: RasenganFin

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

The Howling Behemoth: All good questions, most of which will be answered next chapter.

Gamelover41592: thank you

Boi: 1. I'll add it to the pile. 2. Crossover with which? Alicorn genesis or your KND idea?

...III...

 _"'Naked Dessert...I can think of TWO things wrong with that title."_ Thinks Soos to himself with a chuckle as the movie goes on... Still, he couldn't complain about today: Good movie, good friends, good GIRLfriend...

Yep good day all around, he turns to Melody as she laughs at the movie. She really was pretty, wasn't she? Her beautiful cerulean eyes, her pearly whites, her adorable laugh, her creepy dismembered hand crawling over her chest-

"Wait, what!?" Shouted Soos suddenly, before he can respond-

 **RIP!**

Melody along with every other woman in the theater screamed as dismembered hands ripped off their shirts, pants, bra's, etc. Soos flusters as pandemonium breaks out.

Hand-witch laughs as most of the men are beaten by the humiliated woman for just gawking perversely...but then she sees one who isn't. Soos not only averted his Gaze but was gentleman enough to give her the shirt off his back to cover her. She thanks him warmly.

The Hand-witch practically swoons at this sight, "FINALLY! A REAL GENTLEMAN!" She shouts.

"SHHHHH!" Hissed Thompson suddenly. "Sorry." Whimpered Hand-witch and then whispers her spell more quietly-

"What the hey!" Shouts Soos as his hands glow and fall off!

"HEY! I SAID, SHHHH-

And then Thompson gets stampeded by a herd of naked girls. _"Best injury ever."_ Thinks a bruised Thompson happily...

Soos is forced to watch as his hands scamper over to a creepy old crone. Hand-witch laughs, "Want these handsome?" She holds up his hands teasingly. "Then Come to my place!" she tosses him her address and flees on a cloud of hands.

Melody just frowns, "Did I got hit in the head jumping out of my seat faster then I thought or did a crazy lady steal your hands?" She asks baffled.

Soos shrugs, "Meh, I've been through weirder."

He quickly tries to help melody get home- but not before she helps him pick up the address -, but quickly looks for his friends first. "Guys? Where are you?" "PSST! Behind here." Whispers someone. Soos turns around and sees a naked Wendy, Pacifica, and Dipper hiding behind some ficus's.

Soos frowned at Dipper confused, "Wait, I thought the hands only attacked the girls-

"I don't want to talk about it." Interrupted a flustered Dipper while the girls at his sides giggled knowingly.

Soos looked back and forth between melody and the gang conflicted.

Dipper smiles sadly, "It's okay Soos. Just take Melody home. We'll take care of ourselves." Soos and melody thanked both of them and left.

Dipepr sighed, "So any ideas-

"Yes, give me a sec." Instructs Pacifica as she streaks away...and then just as quickly comes back her body now coverd with strips of cloth. She tehn gives additional cloth to them to cover their shame's.

Where did you get the clothes to rip up and makes these?" Asks Dipper.

Pacifica just smirks...

...

A now naked Mable just sobs baffled sandwiched between the two overweight fans, "How did this even happen!?" She shouted confused while trying to cover her nudity as the blood bath continues to traumatize her.

"SHUT UP! THIS IS THE BEST" Screams both fans beside her.

...

Eventually the group gets back together and heads toward the hand-wich's lair. Pacifica makes sure her stun gun is loaded before entering...

"Uh...miss witch? Can I have my hands back ?I have a wicked itch on my nose!" Groans Soos.

Hand-witch laughs on her throne, "Only a kiss will break the spell!" She puckers up to everyone's horror.

Soos recoils in disgust, "Uh...anything else I could do?"

Hand-witch growls, "NO! Do this or a I keep them...there are hundreds of ways I can have FUN With them." She says in a suggestive and perverse manner.

The group vomits...

"I'm talking about table tennis! Get your mind out of the gutter!" She snaps annoyed.

Soos sighs, "It's okay guys...it'll be like kissing my grandma...who likes being kissed...on the mouth." He says in resignation while everyone else vomits again from THAT image.

Hand-witch smiles, closes her eyes and leans over to get her kiss.

 **ZAP!**

"I'm sorry, I just- I COULDN'T! It was TOO GROSS!" Shouts a horrified Pacifica with her stun gun whipped out. While the Hand-witch writhes and twitches on the ground, the gang frees all her hands from her spell. They all run home to their former owners, including Soos.

"YES! THAT FEELS SO GOOD!" Shouts Soos as he finally takes care of his itch.

The hand witch glares at them as she struggles to get up, "NO! I WON'T GO THROUGH ANOTHER LONELY SATURDAY! If you won't kiss me alive...THEN YOU'LL KISS ME IN DEATH!"

She screams as she causes the hand shaped pillars in and under her cave to fold up, causing the infrastructure of that entire part of the mountain to collapse!

"GAH! WE NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE!" Shouts Wendy.

"Way ahead of you!" Shouts Pacifica on a walkie-talkie.

Next thing the group knows, their being air-lifted to safety on a Northwest helicopter. "THIS IS AWESOME!" Screams Wendy excited.

Hand-witch watches her pray leave...as her house collapses on top of her, "I DIDN'T THINK THIS ALL THE WAY THROUGH!" She shouted right before she's silenced forever...

...

A naked, traumatized, sore Mable limped home...just in time to see the group laugh and eagerly talk about their latest adventure...

Mable then sees Waddles waddle up to her. "Heh, heh...they sure seemed to have had fun, huh waddles? But we...were gonna have more fun, right?! We'll show them!" She shouts desperately.

Waddles says nothing...he just continues to eat an odd mushroom he'd found under the shack.

Mable grabs waddles and lifts him up! "Time for our own adventure!" She shouts excited.

Waddles responds by peeing on her...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	226. WE HATE CLOP FICS! 3

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

RasenganFin: Yes

Wicked.A: Thanks for pointing out the plot hole, I fixed it. Couldn't find the other stuff. Also, thank you. Watch 'S205' of Gravity falls again for an answer

The Howling Behemoth: thank you

...

Ironically, Dipper was actually fairly 'average' sized for his species and age...sadly he had no way of knowing this...all he knew was that a cute filly had attacked the essence of what made him a boy...and he had no comeback...

The instant Sunset had said those four words Celestia had quickly grabbed and dragged her outside to have a long talk with her...but the damage was already done...

...later that night...

Dipper, ruler in hand cautiously snuck toward the royal barracks...where the guards were taking a snooze...

...Dipper knew he had to be careful...considering what he was about to do...if he got caught...he doubt even being Celestia's son would save him...so it was very important...

"Comparing sizes are we?" Said a sudden, familiar, teasing voice in his ear that made Dipper jump up in fright.

Sunset Shimmer was an orphan...an orphan who'd been lucky enough to catch the eyes of Princess Celestia herself. And thus she'd been adopted- Well, technically it was an 'apprenticeship', but she was in a new home with a new mom- MENTOR! She meant mentor!...in any case it was an adoption for all intents and purposes really...

...and then she found out she'd have to share Celestia's attention with...THIS. She'd admit to being mildly interested in meeting a new species...but...it just be best if he left...

Naturally, Celestia had made it very clear that she favored him and the consequences of another 'issue' that happened earlier...but if the boy deliberately did things to undermine his confidence and prove her point...well...who was she to stand in his way? Better yet, who was she NOT to help him do so?

Once more Dipper flustered in the presence of the cute filly...even more so with her early comment ringing in his ear...

Sunset smirked at his discomfort...and helped him sneak into the guards barrack...and one by one...they did...'measurements'..and with each one Dipper's self-esteem took another hit...

Finally, for the first time ever...Dipper felt ashamed of his nudity- especially in front of a filly -and tried to cover himself embarrassed.

Susnet saw this and giggled, "Awwww, is LITTLE- Dipper winched at that word -Dipper feeling self-conscious?" She teased.

Dipper just glared back defiantly...then a thought occurred to him.

"Wait...all the one's we measured are Stallions- he smirked -One day I'll be as big as them!" He uncovers himself and smirks at Sunset, "You'll see! One day you'll be blown away by my stuff!" He then walks away prideful.

Sunset smirks, _"Oh, we'll see about that."_ Sunset maybe forbidden from telling him he's not a pony...but she could do something a bit more _subtle._

 _"Shrink."_ She thinks with a giggle as she casts a little spell on poor, oblivious Dipper's 'area'...

 _"Puberty is not going to be kind to you my friend."_ Thinks Sunset with a laugh as she cockily swaggers after him...

...later...

-And so I'm going to the Griffon kingdom for an important political luncheon, in the meantime we'll continue our lessons through these." Explained Celestia as she handed Sunset one of two special notebooks that would allow them to send messages between each other...

Sunset gleefully took the gift said her goodbyes and went off to study more...

"Hey, Sunset! What you go there?" Asked Dipper popping up suddenly. Sunset sighed in annoyance, but eager to gloat about Celestia's gift over him, "Celestia just got me a magic Journal to communicate with her!"

"Wow, how dose it work?" Asked Dipper impressed.

Sunset smirked, "A simple two-way runic display system of course!"

"Ohhhh...how dose 'A simple two-way runic display system work?'" Asked Dipper curiously.

Sunset looked at him like he was an idiot, "Uh, MAGIC. DUH!" She snarks.

Dipper frowns, "No, I mean how dose the magic that makes it work WORK?" He asks again.

Sunset was thrown by this, you don't ask how magic works! Magic was self-explanatory! Every pony knew that!...and yet...

 _"...How dose it work?"_ Realizes a stumped Sunset...not wanting to look foolish in front of Dipper she desperately tried to regain her composure. "Right...of course I know! I'm just...I just need to figure out the best way to explain it to you so YOU'LL understand." She lies quickly.

Dipper frowns, "I...what? That makes no-"

"Look, let's go to the library to research...teaching methods!" She said quickly, _"Annnnd maybe one or two books on magic theory."_ She thinks to herself embarrassed.

Eager to learn something new, Dipper shrugged off his confusion and chased after her...

...

Celestia sighed at the slums the once proud Griffon kingdom had become...what a waste. As she enters the meeting room filled with the other delegates, she feels her journal warm up and vibrate.

 _"Oh! Sunset must have a question for me! Well, I'm sure I can spare her a second."_ She smirks as she opens up the journal:

 **...平方根由siz到一百...suus 'latebat in tenebris, suus' cortex mali punici genae abominabiles facti sunt acri...فقاعة فقاعة الكدح والمتاعب**

Celestia frowned at the gibberish that was being randomly generated in the journal as it glowed brighter, "What is this-

 **BOOM!**

...

 _"Well...so much for building a new hospital...and a new dessert cart..."_ Thinks Celestia as she 'Coughs up the bits' to placate the griffons/pay for the destruction of their castle.

Celestia promptly grounded both foals when she found them both hovering over the destroyed remnants of Sunsets journal...

...many months later...

Okay Sunset would admit, having Dipper around was...AMUSING. His way of looking at the world, thinking about the world...was so weird...and kinda interesting. Before she meet him, she would just learn magic...but Dipper made her want to learn HOW magic actually worked. She never realized how much she- and most other ponies -simply accepted the 'it works because MAGIC!' explanation without a second thought... Of course, she'd have realized that eventually herself! ...still Dipper had been taking her research in some interesting directions...

His quest for a cutie mark- to be clear she only joined him on this to make fun of him! Not because she thought it was fun! Get that thought out of your head! -had shown her lots of different types of avenues of research and hobbies she'd have never thought possible!

...flashback...

 _"You recreated Cutie-pox?!" Asked Sunset amazed...and disturbed. "Why would you do something that stupid?" She asked baffled._

 _Dipper shrugged, "Think about it, it's a disease that gives you multiple cutie marks AND talents! Figure out how to control it and you could get as many talents as you want! I figured even if I didn't get a viralology cutie mark I could still use it to get a mark of my own!"_

 _Sunset was stunned, it was insane, crazy, ludicrous! ...and yet..._

 _She tried to shrug off her curiosity, "Well...if it's so great, why aren't you still researching it!?" She retorted._

 _Dipper blushed, "Uh...Mom threatened to banish me to the moon if I EVER researched it again...after I...kinda...sorta...accidentally...infected half of Equestria...and half the dragon kingdom...which used their new talents to invade..._

 _Sunset gaped at him..._

 _...later..._

 _"With all due respect your highness and I mean this in the nicest way possible...WHY HAVE YOU NOT EXILED AND DISOWNED HIM YET!?" Exclaimed the baffled Filly._

 _Celestia sighed, "Don't tempt me..." She groaned..._

...

In any case...that's how she found herself here in the garage...with a giant go cart.

"what do you think?" Asked Dipper.

"...Compensating much?" Teased Sunset.

Dipper blushed and covered his loincloth area, "What- NO! I'm going to uses this to win the Canterlot Derby! And maybe a racing cutie mark!"

Sunset rolled her eye's, "Right, like you earned your Garbology cutie mark?"

Dipper blushed...

...flashback...

 _Dipper grunted with effort as he and Sunset hauled in a large garbage bag through a doggie door and into the castle..._

 _Celestia groaned, "No, Dipper, no!" She shouted exasperated right before the bag broke and she was up to her neck in refuse..._

...

"Hey come on you helped too!" retorted Dipper

"I- I only helped to get a better view of you failing!" Snapped a flustered Sunset. Dipper gives her a weird look, "why do you keep saying things like that? It's obvious we have fun together...why do you have to be so mean about it? Now do you want to help me with this or not? I'm adding flame throwers and I could use your help!"

He turns his back to her and gets back to work. Angrily Sunset huffs and tries to appear aloof...but the concept of a 'flame thrower' intrigued her...and she relented and came to help him...AFTER she cast another curse on his 'area' -just to teach him a lesson- she smirked as her 'jinx' caused his loincloth to snag on the gears and rip off...as would ANYTHING else that he tried to use to cover his shame from now on.

"Aw! It's like a tiny, baby, hairless caterpillar." She teased with a snicker.

Sunset teasing, while embarrassing only further motivated Dipper to do better to FINALLY impress her. He continues to finish the siphon-hose and piston that would ignite the flames...

...

Celestia smiled over the gathered derby carts filled with bright, smiling children faces...it reminded her of her Dipper...right before he caused another calamity.

She shook her head of this thought, Dipper may have been a handful but he was a good kid! That choreographed firework display he did on mothers day took her breath away...True it also burned down the east wing of the castle...but she tried not to think of that part.

And he and sunset were so cute together! ...True, this caused them to get in TWICE the mischief...but hey, the important thing was that Dipper and Sunset had made friends, right?...right?

She again rid her head of such thoughts, it was time for the event to begin! She preps her royal Canterlot voice to max Volume.

RACERS! ON YOUR MARK!

The carts began to hum in anticipation

GET SET!

The various foals and fillies tightened their grips on their steering wheels

G-

 **BOOM!**

And thus Celestia was treated to the sight of her son and apprentice jumping down from a nearby highway..in a cart three times bigger then the others...covered with spewing flame-throwers and rotating spikes...land on the starting line and utterly crush and annihilate all the other competitors within seconds...they then rolled down the speedway unopposed yelling like loons...

The cries of fear, agony, and despair echoed throughout the streets...Celestia face-hoofed, _"Y'know...Maybe my sister deposing me wouldn't be the WORST thing to happen...I'd get a vacation for one thing..."_

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	227. Time Travelers Revision: Rewrite

**Tales of the Falls  
**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

 **...Response...**

 **Wicked.A:** Why can't she be both? **  
**

Gamelover41592: thank you. And it's only going to go downhill for her from here...

nightmaster000: 1. Oh, she will. She will. 2. indeed we are my friend, indeed we are...

 **RasenganFin:** Sorry man, this is a no Crack zone, even meth ain't allowed here. Don't do drugs! Do ponies!(heh) (heh) **  
**

...III...

"I'm coming Waddles!" Shouts Mabel as they run past a younger Mystery Shack covered in snow. "Mabel, give it back!" Shouts Dipper as he tackles her.

The force of the tackle causes both the Tape Measure Time Machine and the Journal to fly away from them and skid away on the ice as they wrestle.

"Stop being a jerk!" Shouts Mabel. As they tussle. "It's just a pig! You'll get over it in a day! Wendy is a person, and she gets hurt!" Mabel scoffed. "Yeah, like you really care about that! You just want to do kissy-face with her!" "Take that back!" "No, you take being a jerk back!"

Suddenly they hear a loud cough behind them. They turn around and are surprised to see a person that seems to be a younger, less disgusting version of their Great Uncle...

The man looks at them curiously as he holds out the tape measure and Journal. "Right...I'm going to go out on a limb here...But is it safe to assume that since you have a standard issue Time Paradox Avoidance Enforcement Squadron Tape measure AND what is clearly my third journal- Despite the fact I haven't even finished my second one...that your both from the future?"

The two siblings just looked at him in shock...

...

Ford sighed as she tried to fix the broken Time-Tape, He turns to the twins(Dipper was practically biting his lip off to keep from Squeeing in the presence of the AUTHOR! And it was his GRUNCLE no less!).

"Okay, this might take awhile to fix, in the meantime..." He turns to Mable, "Sweetie, did you give any though of how WENDY was feeling during all this? By the sound if it, she got HURT! Really badly, too! Is it REALLY worth it for your friend to get injured just to save a PIG you knew- For what, a DAY?" He said in an accusatory fashion.

Mable hung her head in shame...she never thought of it like that... "I'm sorry."

Ford shook his head, "Don't apologize to me, it's your friend who deserves it."

Dipper smirks in triumph, "Don't look so smug young man! Your not exactly innocent in this either!" Dipper's eye's widen confused, "What!? But I was trying to keep Wendy safe!"

Ford nodded, "True, and that goal in itself was more noble then Mable's... but you must admit it seems you were also being motivated to look 'cool' in front of her. Am I wrong? Come on Dipper, don't try to deny it. I was young once and pulled plenty of 'boners' myself to impress girls...none of which worked."

Dipper flustered as Mable giggled, "I just- That's not even...Look, I needed to throw the ball right to keep Wendy from being hit! What other option was there!" Dipper shouted defensively.

"Couldn't you just NOT thrown the ball at all? Just avoid the whole situation?" Asked Ford confused.

Dipper just stared at him in disbelief...then slapped his forehead. "Idiot." He grumbled to himself embarrassed.

Ford chuckled, "Out-smarted yourself, huh? Yep, I've had days like that." He turns to Mable, y'know Mable...Stan had a similar...'problem' that you and Dipper have. And it...caused problems between us. I think I have an idea for something that'll make you feel more confident of being independent from Dipper. Dipper you can join in too."

The twins watch with interest as he brought a glass of water with a leaf on it. "Tell me, have you kids ever heard of 'Nen'?"

...

Ford watched amused as the two twins were coming along nicely with their Nen training; Mable was apparently going to be a 'Manipulator' and Dipper a 'Conjurer'.

Taking note of this he then goes back to fixing the time-tape...and looking into Journal 3. He knew this was dangerous since this was FUTURE knowledge...but since he'd already made contact with his niece and nephew who hadn't even been born yet...well, 'in for a penny in for a pound' as they say...the future was already changed anyway and what could a little peek really hurt anyway?

He frowns as he looks at a page warning of a 'Bill Cipher', how it looked like he'd crossed out several sentences complimenting him...and then giving warnings to not trust or let him in your mind.

Ford takes a closer look at the picture of Bill, _"Huh, this is the same creature depicted on the cave drawing I was going to check out next week...Well, I won't be doing that now!"_

Suddenly the whole journal began to ripple, the words inside began to change, Ford hastily closed it and put it away before he saw anything else, _"Right, that's enough tampering with forces beyond my control for one day!"_ He says to himself firmly.

...

In the Nightmare realm...Bill seethed as centuries of planing feel apart in a single incident. "Time for Plan B!" He growled simply...

...

After a couple weeks the time had finally come...

Ford had finished repairs and Mable and Dipper had made a good start with their training, they hugged their gruncle Ford one more time and left...

 _"I hope I see those kids again someday...in any case it looks like I dodged a bullet there with that 'Bill' character...might be best if I got another pair of eyes to watch my back in case I make some other blunder...hmmm...I wonder if Mcgucket is still available...?"_

...

Finally back in the present they quickly find an unblemished Wendy rocking the prize he 'just' won for her...and they keep their promise to Ford and tell her the truth.

Wendy is quiet...

"Are you mad at us?" Asked Dipper.

Wendy frowned as if in deep thought, "I...feel like I should be. But...by the sound of it you- points to Mable -finally did the right thing and gave up your pig to keep me from being hurt and you- points to a frightful Dipper -Yes, you should have just told what was going on instead of taking my 'wanting it more then anything' thing seriously. That was sweet...but stupid, man." She musses up his hair a bit. "But as it stands...everything worked out. I'm unhurt and got this banging stuffed toy...so I guess I'll let it slide this once."

"So...were good?" Asked Mable.

Wendy smirks, "Yeah, were good." She then turns around, "Now come on guys! Let's go enjoy the fair!" "Yeah!" Shouted the twins as they followed their friend.

"Huh, should we go on a ride? I wonder if it'll be safe?" Asked Mable out-loud. Wendy shrugged, "Who knows? Ford guaranteed it be safe but you never know what crazy scientific tech he'd put in it!" She said dismissively.

Both twins stopped int heir tracks, "I'm sorry, WHO guaranteed to be safe?" Asked Dipper.

"Hey guys! Where you been? I've been looking everywhere for you!" Said Tyrone as he walked up to them while drinking a cola...

Mable and Dipper just gaped at Dipper's clone in disbelieving horror...

"What?" Asked Tyrone confused.

...Meanwhile...

Gideon glared as he watched the pines family enjoy the fair, "Mark my word's Pine family, you'll get yours-

"Will you hurry up already! I don't have all day!" Shouted an impatient voice behind him.

Gideon paled, "Comi9ng Big bro!" Shouts Gideon as he hastily got into the car with his Big Brother Hisoka Morow...

…III...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	228. A pig or a friend? 15: RasenganFin

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

RasenganFin: Wait, that's not a crack pairing. Crack pairings are pairings that look like the shipper was on drugs! Like Manly Dan/Multi-bear or Discord/Tirek! Twilight Sparkle/Dipper is more of a 'Crossover ship' or even a 'Ship That Pass in the Night'. In any case ENJOY!

...III...

Taking a break from her gig as a 'real' Banshee, Pacifica goes into the kitchen for a drink. She asks an absentminded Dipper for permission- having learned basic manners from Dipper and Wendy that the Northwest's had always felt that they're above -who agrees, being so thirsty and hot she downs the first drinkable substance she sees...only getting the taste AFTER she's swallowed- innuendo not intended -and begins to gag and wretch.

Pacifica starts to freak out, Dipper runs in and sees the Mabel Juice, _"That wasn't there this morning... Mabel must have just made it... yep. No plastic dinosaurs so it's very recent."_ Thinks Dipper to himself.

Dipper gets Pacifica a glass of ranch dressing vinegar Tabasco sauce and diet Pitt. He gives it to Pacifica and tells her to nurse that since it helps get the taste of Mabel Juice out ones mouth. Pacifica is disgusted and questions it's usefulness but Dipper assures her, "I've accidentally drunk Mabel Juice before. Trust me, this helps."

Pacifica reluctantly takes the reedy and agrees that it dose taste better then the juice. She then decides to take it easy with just sweeping until Stan says it's closing time.

Dipper claps his hands together, "Right, I know a lot's happened recently but I think it's time we get to work on the laptop."

"Can I go get it?" Asked a semi-queasy Pacifica who sounded/looked more confident then she felt. Dipper frowns, "I don't know, after drinking all that juice you should REALLY take a rest-

-Dipper she's fine BECAUSE she just survived drinking Mabel Juice!" Interrupted Wendy suddenly. "She MUST be tough for not puking! I mean that stuff is nasty! I wouldn't wish that stuff upon the person I despise the most... which in this case happens to be Mabel."

Pacifica thanks Wendy for the compliment and goes upstairs to fetch the laptop, while Dipper reads the journal for clues and Wendy brings the Registers contents to Stan- him not trusting the money being in the register after closing time.

Pacifica is at the top of the stairs when-

 **WRETCH!**

Pacifica suddenly vomited rather violently, causing her to drop the laptop which then shatters on the stairs...

Both Wendy and Dipper hear the noise an rush to see what happened, although initially distraught by the broken laptop they quickly become more concerned for Pacifica as she's still puking.

"I-I'm sorry Dip-(vomits)"

"Pacifica your vomiting glitter! We'll worry about the laptop later! Right now you need to rest!" Exclaimed Dipper.

Suddenly Mable came in groaning...and smoldering...Bad enough she didn't restock in plastic dinosaurs but now she'd also lost waddles when that freak fire started!

She looks up and sees Wendy and Dipper helping Pacifca to the restroom, "Whoa, what happened to Pacifica?" Asked Mable innocently.

Dipper rounded on her, "Pacifica got sick from drinking your dang juice which you just left out for anyone to drink! Worse, she drooped the laptop shattering it! Once again your childish decisions have ruined everything!"

Mable scoffed, "Your nuts! My juice is great!" She turns to Soos with a pitcher of Mable Juice, "Ain't that right Soos?" Soos responds to screaming and jumping through a window.

Dipper just rolls his eyes and turns around to continue helping Pacifica.

Angry, Mable kicks a piece of fragmented laptop-

"AAUUGHH! MY EYE! WHY IS IT ALWAYS MY EYE?!"

-Which turned out to be a bad decision as it nailed Wendy in the eye. Before Mable can say anything she finds herself forcibly thrown out of the shack and the door locked behind her. She tries to protest, but one look at Dipper's angry glare through the screen door made Mable high-tail to Candy's to lie low...

Dipper does what he can to get the Laptop piece out of Wendy's eye and succeeds before putting a bag of ice on it.

Dipper apologizes to Wendy, hugging her and crying a little but Wendy stops it when she gets a good look of what the piece of laptop says "McGucket Labs". Dipper is excited to find an actual lead! "TO THE DUMP!" He shouts as he begins to walk off...only to remember Wendy's eye is sore and Pacifica's ill from Mabel Juice...both girls look at him in annoyed disbelief. "Uh...maybe tomorrow?" He asks sheepishly.

He then goes back to emptying Pacifica's puke bucket and replacing the ice that melts on Wendy's eye...

...

Wendy calls her dad, "Dad, I got popped in the eye again, I'm going to spend the night here at the Shack until it heals."

Dan growls, "Did Dipper do this? If so, so help me-

"Dad relax! ...it was Mable actually, Dipper helped take care of my eye and found a recipe for a salve for it..."

Dan just continues to growl, "That girl...if she weren't a girl I'd..." He takes a deep breath, "Just be careful and get better soon sweetie."

"Will do dad."

She hangs up and sees Pacifica, "You want me to call your mom?"

Pacifica scoffs, "I doubt she notices I'm even gone, she's been drunk off her ass since Dad died."

Fortunately, this awkward lull in the conversation was interrupted by Dipper returning. He puts the salve on Wendy's eye and helps Pacifica into bed.

While he's doing that...the salves fumes and Wendy's overall tiredness start to make her delirious...

Dipper was cleaning out Pacifica's puke bucket when suddenly he was hoisted up in the air, "(giggle) Come on Dippey! Let's go to bed!" She says in an almost drunken fashion. Before Dipper can protest, he's dragged to bed and sandwiched between the two girls.

Not wanting to disturb Pacifica's sleep, Dipper tries to keep his panic quiet. "Uh, Wendy? I'm not comfortable- Wendy shrugs with a chuckle, "Too bad. It's either this or one of us sleeps upstairs with Mabel- and that ain't happening!"

Seeing that Wendy wasn't budging...Dipper simply resigned himself to a LONG night ahead... "At least her pants are on", thinks a flustered Dipper...which of course was Wendy's que to take off her jeans-

"Wait, what!?" Demanded quietly.

"It's summer, like hay I'm wearing pants to bed." She states before she snuggles into Dipper even more closely, "Dang, you're so nice to cuddle..." A tired and delirious Wendy says before falling asleep...

Dipper trying to make the best of the situation- and being a pubescent boy -grabs a penlight shines it under the covers. He sees Wendy is wearing green underwear and a lot of freckles on her otherwise very pale skin.

Dipper's heart races a bit-

 **SMACK!**

Before getting playfully slapped in the groin by a half-asleep Pacifica, "Keep your 'dagger' sheathed perv." She said with a smirk before falling back asleep.

Mortified, Dipper quickly 'calmed' himself down...and went to sleep himself...

The Next morning Mabel comes home and goes downstairs hoping Dipper didn't throw out the Mabel Juice...she'd need all the nutrients she could get to renew her search for Waddles!

She looks into his room and see's he's in bed between Pacifica and Wendy who's still holding him. She glares and grumbles as she walks away, "Stupid playboy brother of mine... I can't get one boy to not be weird and he gets two pretty girls all over him!" She mutters annoyed.

...Meanwhile...

"I'll do whatever you want! Just don't hurt my Racoon wife!" Shouted Mcgucket as he was dragged away by men in red robes...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	229. In the Pines 2

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

Gamelover41592: indeed

RasenganFin: I like it, I'll add what I can...but I do have my own plans.

The Howling Behemoth: 1. funny you should mention Pacifica... 2. oh, you'll love it!

...III...

The Mane 5 gaped at their 'friend' in horror, before they could say anything-

Twilight sighed, "Look, in fairness I wasn't exactly the picture of sanity running into the throne room screaming bloody murder...in hindsight I should have probably collected more evidence or at least presented my findings to Celestia in private..." She shake's her head, "But regardless- And by all means correct if I'm mistaken -but considering all we've been through together, how we've saved Equestria together, how our lives practically revolve around the 'magic' of friendship. I was kinda expecting maybe...oh, I don't know- She says that last bit in mock confusion, "FOR MY SO-CALLED FRIENDS TO TAKE MY SIDE OVER A STRANGER THEY ONLY JUST MEET!" She screamed enraged.

Everyone jumped back startled, "Wha- But I thought we'd gotten over that! That you were okay with it now and forgave us!" Shouted Rarity confused.

Twilight growled, "NO, I HAD to forgive you! At least publicly, otherwise the elements would stop working! I did my research- unlike all of you -the element Magic has more flexibility since it's the key element that binds all the others together as well as being a more esoteric element then the rest. Thus, I could just pretend everything was fine even though I had lost all faith in you as friends- They all gasped -There, I said it!" Twilight takes another breath to regain her momentum. But the rest of the elements? Their pretty straightforward, they require all of us to have a friendship connection with each other in the group. The least I could get away with was a one-sided friendship connection on your part-

"So you lied to us." Stated Applejack flatly.

Twilight face-hoofed, "Are you seriously- THAT'S the part you focused on!?" She threw up her hooves in annoyance, "Fine, YES! I lied about forgiving you for abandoning me and choosing a 'wedding' over our friendship! To keep our nations strongest defense against the forces of evil alive and running! Oh, how horribly evil and wicked am I!" She shouted sarcastically.

Applejack paled... "Statement withdrawn." She whimpered.

Twilight nodded, "Yeah, I thought so." Twilight sighed, "In fairness I did value the times we spent together before that...and I thought maybe...just maybe, if I pretended long enough that 'everything was fine' then maybe everything would go back to how it was...but it didn't. That day, you guys showed that when the chips are down...I can't trust you when it matters."

The Mane 5 were in tears, even Pinkie Pie's mane had gone flat...an even more sorrowful Spike stepped up, "So...wait, what about me?" Asked Spike hopefully, after she 'died' she declared him her 'son' in her will and he got all her worldly possessions...so maybe...

Twilight actually looked him saddened, "I...I just don't know Spike. You didn't condemn me...but neither did you help me...it's obvious you were just confused and going with the flow with everyone else...but it still stung a bit."

Spike hung his head in shame...

"But wait, where dose Discord come into all this?" Asks a sobbing Fluttershy, it was bad enough ONE friend was denouncing her but if another had a part in faking her death without telling her...

Twilight sighed, "Right...that's where things get complicated."

She then explains how 'Dr. Discord' was actually a humanized analogue of there's who lived in another universe as a senior member of the SCP Foundation-

"The what foundation?" Asked Rainbow Dash.

"It's a formerly secret organization that located, captured, contained and researches strange and explainable things, people, places, events, etc. In any case Dr. Discord used their advanced technology to freeze time when I ascended to be an alicorn and make a deal with him. In exchange for me coming to work with him at the SCP Foundation in a special task force, he 'fixed' the elements so you could use them without me-

"And you just decided that!?" Demanded Applejack, Twilight sighed. "I just...I was at my whits end! Pretending everything was fine, when it wasn't! I just...I just couldn't lie anymore! To you or myself! It was a miracle that I got through that whole 'cutiemark mix-up' fiasco without letting my true feelings slip! I was genuinely fearful for the well-being of Equestria if my 'facade' slipped and we lost control of the elements! I just...it was a bad situation, and this was literally the only way out that ensured Equestria's long-term survival!" She panted in angsty exhaustion.

There was a long silence...

"But your back now." Pinkie said in a desperate voice, "Your back now...can't...can't we start over fresh?" She asked desperately

Twilight gave her a long, deep look... "Girls, I know to you it's only been three month's but thanks to 'Inter-dimensional temporal dissonance' it's been over 3 years for me.

Everyone gaped at her, but she wasn't done yet-

"And during that time...my horizons were so expanded! I just...I saw and experienced so many wonderful things...and terrible things..." Twilight suddenly got a very haunted look. "I...I've seen things...done things...I realize now that Chrysalis, Nightmare Moon, discord, Sombra...they are NOTHING, just minor nuisances compared to the horrors that live out their in the 'great unknown'- points to the sky for emphasis -but more importantly...I realize now...our 'friendship' may have been good...but it was nothing compared to the TRUE friendship I've experienced-

"NOW HOLD ON!" Interupted a furious Rainbow Dash. "Look, I admit we messed up, BIG TIME! And you have every right to be mad at us! But if you think I'm just going to stand by and listen to you belittle all the good times we had together!

A sobbing Rainbow was too emotional to even finish so she points toward the rest of Twilight's task force/friends who were still waiting for her with Gamma team. "And what's so great about them, huh?! Especially that disfigured weirdo in the Pine tree hat-

 **CRACK!**

Everyone screamed in horror as a now VERY furious Twilight cold-cocked Rainbow to the ground. "That 'Weirdo' has a name! He's Dipper Pines, he got 'disfigured' jumping on a GRENADE meant to KILL me, AND HE'S MY BOYFRIEND YOU BITCH!"

Twilight glared as she stared down a rather bewildered Rainbow who was nursing her broken nose, "Would you be willing to do that?" She turns to the rest of them, "Would any of you be willing to do that for me? Would any of you be willing to DIE for me?"

There was a long, stunned silence...none knew what to say...

"...I thought not..." Said Twilight finally...

And without another word...or even a look back...she left her former 'friends' behind...as well as a large chapter of her life...

None but her new friends would see the tears coming down her face...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	230. A pig or a friend? 16: RasenganFin

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

thekingscrew: Mable hit Wendy in the eye and got Pacifica sick, true it was accidental but can you really blame them for being mad? Espeically if Mable didn't take it seriously?

The Howling Behemoth: thank you

Gamelover41592: thank you

...III...

Pacifica yawns as she wakes up...she's alerted to a yawn from Wendy. Pacifica remembers what happened last night as she turns to face her, and then has to try very hard not to laugh.

Sometime during the night, Dipper can turn around in his sleep and dive face first in Wendy's cleavage without waking up. stifling laughter and takes out her phone ready to record everything. She was worried that Wendy would ruin it...but she just smiles, nods and waits for Dipper to wake up...

And then Pacifica gets another idea...

Dipper groaned as he did just that, "Wha- Why am I sleeping on marshmallows?" Ha asked groggily.

Both Wendy and Pacifica laugh, "They're not Marshmallows but thanks Dipper." She teases.

Dipper of course bolts up and falls out of bed stammering out "I- I- I- I didn't do anything that would get me beheaded by your dad did I?" Says Dipper as he cautiously gets back up a grinning Pacifica on the bed almost blocking his view of Wendy.

"Actually you did. I have a sneaking suspicion that if any guy motorboats me would get his head slammed on my dads Wood Chopping Stump."Wendy further teases.

Dipper freaks out and starts to cry and Wendy scolds him- she tries to get out of bed but Pacifica silently texts her to stay put and that she has a surprise for her - saying she was joking since there is no way she's telling her father about that.

"Well unless we got married, and even then a month after the Honeymoon was over..." She further teases as Dipper's face reddens.

"But seriously though, Why was I in bed with and my pants off?" Asked Wendy confused. "You dragged him into bed and I cup checked him when his 'enjoyment' poked me in the back, but that's it." Explained Pacifica quickly.

Wendy frowned at that, _"Why am I disappointed that no funny business happened?"_ She thinks to herself confused

Then Pacifica turns to Dipper and suddenly says, "Hey weren't we going to go ask Mcgucket about the laptop? Why don't you go on ahead to make sure he's at the junkyard while we get your stuff?"

An excited Dipper thanks her and runs, Wendy is about to say something but is stunned when she gets her first real glimpse of Dipper that morning.

So stunned is she, she says nothing when Dipper runs out the front door. She looks at the blonde girl with no admiration, "You sneaky little devil." She says with respect.

Pacifica whistles a tune as she twirls something around her fingers as she locks all the doors, "Want to bet how long it takes him to figure it out?" She smirks evilly...

...

Dipper quickly ran through the town, it was still early so no one was really out. Not that Dipper cared, he was too busy focusing on his 'mission'. Finally, after all the trials and tribulations he would finally know the secrets of Gravity Falls! All signs pointed to Mcgucket being the author! The banged hand where a missing digit might be, his knowledge of supernatural things, his mechanical genius, his age matched up with the timeline of when the journal was written, the possibility that whatever was hunting him drove him mad...it all added up!

Dipper smiled as he continued to run and fantasies...

...

 _"Dipper!? How did you survive the perils of Gravity falls!?" Shouted a reporter to much more muscular, rugged Dipper while he was being photographed on all sides..._

 _Click, click, click, click, click!_

 _"DIpper!? How dose it feel to be the most awesome supernatural hunter the world has ever seen!?"_

 _ _Click, click, click, click, click!__

 _"Dipper!? Is it true the UN wants you to personally broker peace between Iran and the Mothmen?!"_

 _ _ _Click, click, click, click, click!___

 _"Dipper?! What was your response being voted the sexiest man alive?"_

 _ _ _Click, click, click, click, click!___

 _"WE CAN ANSWER THAT!" Shouted a familiar red-head and a blonde clad in revealing bikinis as they jumped onto Dipper and start to make out with him..._

 _ _ _Click, click, click, click, click!___

 _ _ _...___

Click!

"Yeah, that's a keeper!"

Dipper was knocked out of his daydream as a familiar voice showed up, he stopped ruining and faced Tambry as she grinned like a loon and took pictures of him like crazy.

Dipper shrugged this off, Tambry was always blog crazy, who knows what was 'trending' for her now?

"Hey Tambry, what's up?" Asked Dipper curiously.

Tambry just kept smirking, "You are, apparently, what was it too hot this morning?" She teased.

Dipper frowned, "Actually, now that you mention it, it feels rather cold-

And then Dipper felt it...a VERY cold breeze...BETWEEN his knees...

He slowly looks down...hoping, PRAYING he's mistaken...but he's not, he looks down...and see's his exposed, pantsless bottom and front exposed to all the world to see.

Tambry laughs, "Yeah, you do look cold."

Indeed, the cold air REALLY wasm't helping his situation. Mortified, Dipper pulls his shirt over his front and tries to run.

"Whoa, 'hot pants' where's the fire!?" teased Tambry as she grabbed the back hem of his shirt-

 **RIP!**

And like that, Dipper was now fully naked! Humiliated, Dipper covered his privates with his hat and ran back home as Tambry took more pictures of his fleeing rear.

"I love to see you come but I love to see you leave even more! Wendy is lucky!" Shouts Tambry in teasing admiration.

Dipper tries to run home, but of course that moment is when everyone decides to wake up and start heading outside, "Oh, come on!" Shouts Dipper as he jumps into a nearby bush.

He groans as he see's that his escape toward the house has been blocked by a wall of citizens.

 _"Okay Dipper, don't panic! You prepared for situations like this! It's why you tapped a spare cellphone to the bottom of your hat! Just call someone to pick you up or give you clothes and-_

Dipper pales, the phone in his hat is gone! Instead there is a note:

 **DEAR DIPPER, thought I'd do something different this time!**

 **How about a challenge?**

 **If you can do this 'adventure' naked to 'who the author' is without ANYONE seeing you naked(including me and Wendy)...me and Wendy will strip and be with you naked for a whole day!**

 **So watch your but! Or we will!**

 **Sincerely, Pacifica.**

Dipper flustered as mental images come to him... _Wendy...Pacifica...naked_...then he groans. "Dang it, I already lost! Tambry already-

"Your secrets safe with me...provided I get some more pictures." Said a gleeful, easing voice behind him...as well as the sound of more photo shots.

Dipper groans...but reluctantly uncovers himself and let's tambry lead him to a secluded location...

...

"Shoot! What happened here?" Asked Wendy as they came to Mcguckets hovel. It was a wreck! ...even more so the usual!

Pacifica frowned, this complicated things. She and Wendy were going to hang back, hide, let Dipper stumble around naked trying to figure out how to 'interview' Mcgucket without him actually seeing him...he'd fail of course, but she and Wendy had decided to give Dipper the prize regardless of him winning or losing(he'd MORE then earned it really).

But if she was reading the signs right...

"Shoot, looks like Mcgucket got kidnapped." She said with a sigh, she'd SO been looking forward to relaxing today too...

Wendy looked at her curiously, "How can you tell?" She asked skeptically.

Pacifica rolled her eye's, "Let's just say that my dad engaged in...'extracurricular activities' enough times that I can recognize when it happens again."

She shakes her head, "Well, so much for the contest."

"Your gonna cancel?" Asked Wendy surprised.

Pacifica gave her an 'are you kidding?' look, "A man's been kidnapped, of course I'm cancelling it! Unlike Mable, I know when to take a situation seriously! When Dipper shows up we'll just give him clothes and promise to make up for his 'trauma' later."

Wendy looks around, "Okay, but in the meantime we should look for clues on Mcgucket's wereabouts."

"Perhaps I can be of assistance?" Said a new synthesized voice, they turn around to see waddles in a wheelchair.

"Hello Wendy, it's nice to finally-

 **DEMON PIG!**

Screamed Wendy and Pacifica as they whipped out a gun and blasted the pig to bits...mechanized bits?

"(sigh), well that went as well as expected, any chance we could talk in a civilized manner?"

Asked the real Waddles behind a tree as a mechanical limb waved a flag of surrender as he gazed on the remains of his decoy...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	231. paperbag princess: Redhead edition

**Paperbag Princess: Red head edition**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...III...

Wicked.A: I hope to give more, soon! You'll find out who they are soon.

RasenganFin: all wonderful, I'll add what I can.

thekingscrew: Look, talk to RasenganFin. He participated in my 'shake up the falls' challenge, so he's the one who decided the direction/outline the story takes.

NyaNyaKittyFace: Thank you

The Howling Behemoth: thank you. of course!

...Response...

Princess Wendy wasn't having the best day, first they made her wear an itchy, heavy dress, a corset that was suffocating her, learn some more boring etiquette lessons, being engaged to some pompous jerk named Robbie who she never met before today-

 **FWOOM!**

Oh, and a dragon was now trying to kill her! Wendy ran like there was no tomorrow(a fair estimate for all intents and purposes), she rips off her corset to help her breath quicker as all the rooms go up in smoke, then rips off her skirt to help her legs move quicker, she jumps down the garbage chute-

 **FWOOM!**

But not before getting one last dose of flames, in the rear. Once in the garbage Wendy frantically tears off the remains of her flaming clothes. Leavign her naked, she looks around to see her kingdom in flames, everyone dead...

Wendy...Wendy found herself oddly okay with that. Her parents were jerks, Robbie and his family were jerks, the nobles were jerks, and they did such horribly things to the 'common folk' that on average they envy'd the dead anyway...so this was probably more of a mercy kill to a terrible kingdom.

Okay? We good? All the angst squared away at least in a sub-standerd fashion? Good...enough.

Wendy looked up and saw the dragon fleeing with all her country's treasure, _"Well, considering my only other option is to wander the dark ages as a naked Beggar and hope the plague kills me before the bandits ravish and THAN kills me...I guess I'm going to go fight a dragon to get my money back...whoop-De-De for me."_ Thinks Ex-Princess Wendy with a sarcastic groan...she then looks around for SOMETHING to conceal her modesty...

...

Meanwhile, the dragon returns to his cave...and changes back into a naked boy with fangs, lizard eyes and a lizard tail...and runs into his equally naked siter who looks annoyed.

"You saw a cute girl?"

"Yep."

"She was being mistreated by a jerk?"

"Yep."

"Lose your temper?"

"Yep."

"Destroy an entire kingdom before you calmed down...AGAIN!?"

"...yes."

"...Dang it Dipper, this is the 5th time this week! I don't know about you but I'm sick and tired of the Vatican sending 'crusades' against us! Their annoying and they taste like church!"

She sweeps a pile of Templar bones, "Not to mention they stain like bleach on a prom dress!"

Dipper sighs as he's forced to listen to another tirade...

 _"I hope that cute red-head survived at least..."_

…III...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	232. paperbag princess: Blonde edition

**Paperbag Princess: Blonde edition**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...III...

Pacifica was having the time of her life! She'd beaten that loser Mable at that dumb contest and now hundreds of people were fawning over her in her private solid gold yacht. How could a solid gold yacht float you might ask? Their rich, all laws- including physics don't matter!

"Yep, everything was coming up Pacifica!

 **OGRE SMASH!**

...

Tyrone tips the soda to his mouth- WHACK! Only for it to be knocked out of his hands by Dipper, "DUDE! Your killed by water! Soda is a liquid!"

Tyrone paled, "Thanks man...wait, how am I going to live then? The world is FULL of liquid!"

Dipper frowns at that, "I don't know...tell you what, let me check the journal. Maybe it has a solution. Wait right here." He then goes off on his own...

Tyrone shrugs and looks at the beautiful night sky...such a peaceful...serene night...

 **GAH! HELP ME!**

Screamed a cute, naked, blonde girl as she ran away from a giant ogre...

Tyrone quickly sprang into action and ran after them...

Meanwhile, Dipper returns to the roof...and sees no one? "Where did he go? I need to find him!"

Suddenly he gets a call...from WENDY!?

"W-wendy?"

"Hey Dipper...listen, I just realized something...I never really thanked you for risking your life and sacrificing your dignity to save my life from those two ghost elders...look, I know you have a crush on me. I can't promise you anything, but after doing THAT for me...I figure the least I can do is give you a shot...so...when would you like to have our first date?

Dipper...Dipper was in heaven! While he eagerly talked to the love of his life...he naturally forgot all about Tyrone...

But hey, that's hormones for you...

…III...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	233. A pig or a friend? 17: RasenganFin

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

The Howling Behemoth: thank you

Gamelover41592: Thank you

Wicked.A: 1. Thank you. 2. You do realize that Tyrone and Dipper are the same person, right?

RasenganFin: glad you like it

...III...

After some quick talking, Waddles was able to convince them he wasn't a threat, he then proceeded to sniff Mcgucket's hat and lead them to him...

So focused on Saving Mcgucket and following the cute pig with the rocking voice...the girls forgot one thing...

...

"Seriously?! The one time he isn't here!?" Shouts an annoyed Dipper...who was already NOT in the best mood's. AFTER Tambry had taken all those pictures of him, she tells him she already called Pacifica and she told her to tell him that her seeing Dipper didn't count...and that they locked the shack and wouldn't open it until tonight.

So basically he'd been forced to streak naked through the city until he got to the dump...fortunately no one saw him but he knew it was only a matter of time- and the cold was REALLY not helping his situation at all!

Frantically he looked around the crumbling wreck of Mcgucket's hut- quickly dismissing the wreckage as another one of Mcguckets projects running amock -he then found a paper several years old talking about how Mcgucket was found dazed and confused outside the Gravity falls History Museum.

Dipper sighed, "Well, it's not like I have any other leads..."

...

Wendy and Pacifica walked through the museum as Waddles sniffed the trail...all the way to room full of ancient eyes.

"The trail ends at this wall," Sqwaked Waddles.

Pacifica nods, "Okay, there must be a hidden latch or switch or something- begins to look around -Give me a minute and I'll-

 **BAM!**

Wendy shoots a hole in the wall, "Or... we could do that." Said Pacifica awkwardly.

As they walked down the steps, Wendy kept her gun out and loaded.

"Doesn't this...seem a bit too easy to you?" Asks Pacifica.

"How so?" Asked an alert Wendy.

"Well, this is the secret lair of a secretive possibly esoteric group...shouldn't there be...I don't know...a booby trap? A sentry?

The lights go out...

"An ambush?" Whimperd Pacifica before both girls are grabbed in the dark.

...

Dipper looks back and forth behind the tree to make sure no one sees, he then quickly runs across the street covering himself with a discarded newspaper-

 **SPLASH!**

A car quickly zooms by and splashes Dipper with a puddle that disintegrates his paper, Dipper groans but finishes running and jumps into a bush outside the museum entrance-

 **SQUEAL!**

And jumps onto waddles ridding a mini-auto scooter?! "Wait, what!?" He asks confused. "Dipper! Thank goodness your here! Wendy and Pacifica have been captured!" Shouts Waddles.

"WAIT, WHAT!?"

Waddles quickly explains the situation...

Dipper glares at the museum...

"Forget modesty...let's get dangerous..."

He turns to waddles, "Can you build me an oxygen tank and a breather?"

Waddles smirks, "What size?"

...

"Fear not girls, soon this will all seem like a bad dream." Said Blind-Ivan as he brought the memory gun to them-

 **GAH!**

A flamming Toby runs into the room from upstairs, "THE MUSEUM IS ON FIRE! I'M ON FIRE!"

The Blind Eye's ignore the latter but run upstairs for the former. Wendy and Pacifica are quickly forgotten as indeed the museum was on fire!

"HURRY! WE NEED TO GET THIS BLAZE UNDER CONTROL! WE CAN'T AFFORD ATTENTION TO BE DRAWN TO OUR LAIR!" Shouts Iavn, the Blind-eye's obey...

...

Several blind eye's try to get the sprinkler's working again, somehow their circuits had been disabled. They open the sprinkler control panel-

 **SPLASH!**

 **ZAP!**

A bunch of water was dumped on them at the same time a fully-loaded tazer was sprung out of the control panel...they were all incapacitated in seconds...

...

Several Bind-eye's take a short-cut through the dinosaur exhibit to get to the bathroom to get a bucket brigade going-

 **GAH!**

They shouted in agony as a giant Elasmosaurus skeleton falls from above on top of them...

...

"FORGET THIS! WERE LEAVING!" Shouts Sprotts as he and the most of the remaining Blind-eye's flee out the door-

 **BOOM!**

Only for a large crate of prop witches to fall on them...

"I...I knew witches would be my downfall...curse our country's pro-witch policies!" Groaned a horribly injured Sprott...

...

Buddy Gleeful ran through the flames, desperate to find a way out...he stumbles into the caveman exhibit...

He sees a bunch of naked cave-people...despite the situation Buddy can't help but chuckle at the young cave-boy. "Look's like someone skimped on plastic for the boy's 'anatomy' he laughs deleriously thanks to the smoke fumes, he turns around-

 **WHACK!**

Dipper whacks him on the back of the head with a club, "I accidentally spilled cold water on myself when rigging the sprinkler's! OKAY!?" Shouts a flustered Dipper through his breather mask as Buddy falls down unconcious.

"Good to know."

Dipper turns around just in time to see Blind-Ivan pointing the memory gun at him-

 **ZAP!**

 **SQUEAL!**

 **WADDLES!**

Dipper looks on amazed as waddles took the blow for him...

"Waddles?" Asks Dipper concerned.

Waddles smirks, "As anticipated, the gun was designed with HUMAN brains in mind." He then charges forward at Ivan.

"WAIT! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!? I THOUGHT-

Waddles slams into him and knocks him out cold...

"That'll do pig, that'll do." Says Dipper with a smile...

...

He was able to get the girls and Mcgucket out quickly enough before the building collapsed, they then erased the memories of the surviving Blind eye's...Blind Ivan was an issue as they apparently erased too much, but Pacificia quickly tells him his name is Ivan and that he needs to hitch a ride to Seattle to speak to the authorities as he has amnesia.

Then Wendy finds that the blind eye's hidden lair is unscathed from the fire and after using it to help Mcgucket find his memories...

"Hey want to watch more memory videos? I found the societies snack stashes." She holds up popcorn. "I'm in" , says Pacifica happily. Dipper on the floor examining the contents of Toby's pants that he'd swiped, get's up-

slip

"Me too." Says Dipper.

The girls just stare...then smirk. "Wow, Toby's pants are even more shabby then his shoes." Quips Wendy with a chuckle.

"What are you-

And then he sees said pants had now fallen, exposing him.

"Ah, man." Groaned Dipper as he coverd himself.

"Relax dipper, you've MORE then earned a nude day." Says Wendy reassuringly.

Dipper blushed, "Really?"

"Yep." Said a smiling Pacifica as she slapped Dipper in the rear causing a startled Dipepr to step out of his pants. Which Pacifica snatches and throws it in the nearby fire.

Dipper glares, "Really?" He asks annoyed.

but the girls just laugh and escort an embaressed yet happy Dipper downstairs.

"I wonder why they took Mcgucket in the first place though?" Asks Dipper confused.

Wendy shrugs, "Who cares? I'm more annoyed we'll have to tell Mable she was right to get that dang pig..." She says annoyed.

Pacifica frowns, "Where is waddles anyway? He should be here celebrating with us."

...

Meanwhile, Waddles stares at a strange wheel surrounding an even stranger triangle figure...

"I'm in." Squeaks the pig...

which Dipper and Pacifica are happy to enjoy and find the societies snack stash, full of popcorn.

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	234. Dammit, I hate Mable!

**DAMMIT, I HATE MABLE!**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

Gamelover41592: I'll take care of it now

RasenganFin: Sorry, couldn't find the message that explained it in more detail and I couldn't remember.

The Howling Behemoth: huh, good idea. Thanks

...

All the residents of Gravity Falls had gathered at the townhall to see their new mayor, at first it seemed like Tyler Cutebiker would be in charge...but then he slipped on an icy patch and got decapitated...and now a completely unknown by the name of **S** tanley **Lenderman** was in office.

At first he just did some weird things...like make polygamy legal, lower the age of consent to 12 and any lumberjack girls who marry will be allowed to chop the 'golden forest'(called the Wendip initiative)

Both Dipper and Wendy blush at this...

And to encourage inter-class relationships any rich girl that marries a poor boy will have their family's wealth tripled-

"Works for me!" Shouts Preston Northwest as the Dipifica initiative was passed...much to Pacifica and Dipper's embarrassment.

Then things...got dark.

 **All 'cute' pigs will be euthanized.**

 **All colorful sweaters are banned**

 **All 'crazy' girls will be publicly flogged.**

 **All braces are now outlawed and will be ripped from mouths**

Everyone just gaped in horror at these new laws...especially Mable. Dipper summoned up his courage and pipped up, "uh, sir? All these laws seem hostile toward my sister Mable-

"OH! Don't get me started on Mable!" Shouts the ordinary looking man onstage.

"Okay." Said Stan with a grunt.

"She's the worst part of this whole thing!" Continues the man as the room is filled with song while he groans-

 **(music starts)**

 **Oh, dammit, I hate Mable!**

The room gasps

 **That's right, I said it.**

 **(No!)**

Shouts everyone.

 **I do, I hate Mable.**

 **(Why?)**

Asks a shocked Dipper.

 **Because I just don't get it**

 **How a spoiled little brat who thinks Param is a llama**

 **Is constantly escaping some much needed karma**

 **Oh, dammit, I hate Mable!**

 **She's suffocating to the absurd,**

 **but Oh, no, the 'great' Mable**

 **That little turd**

 **She has no Sense about when her loved one's are in danger**

 **They would do best to exchange her for a thumb.**

 **The bitch doesn't care that her poor friend's black eye is now numb!**

He sings while pointing to a now bewildered Wendy-

Several of Mable's friends jump up to defend her in chorus form-

 **How can you say that? How can you say that?**

 **(It's easy, your all thinking it. She's a hypocritical, little prick)**

 **Don't be a penis, her comedy is a genius**

 **(Oh, come on, you only like her when Dipper sucks her dick!)**

Dipper and Mable vomit...

Candy walks up and begins to sing in a bishonen way-

 **But the love they have for each other is brilliant, I know it.**

 **Such platonic love is worthy of great poets**

The man rolls his eyes...

 **A labler wouldn't be able to do them justice as they bring joy to our lives...**

 **(Uh, huh. And what will happen when their forty and enabler/co-dependent 'love' is STILL preventing them from living their own lives?)**

Candy frowned on that confused...

 **"Uh...let me think about that..."**

Admitted Candy awkwardly.

The man just shakes his head

 **You should hate Mable**

Everyone gasps

 **(Well, I don't, I try to congratulate Mable)**

Said Candy stubbornly.

 **with a person who'd throw you under the bus for a pig could you truly call her a friend?**

Mocks the man.

 **Sheesh, what's put you around the bend?**

Asks Pacifica astounded.

 **It was around the time she was dumb enough to split up the group inside a creepy bunker!**

Admits the man.

A chorus of friends once more jump to her defense-

 **How can you say that? How can you say that?**

 **She's loyal, courageous and cares about us all!**  
 **You wish she would praise you, we know she'd daze you.**

 **(I just want to punch her in the BAAAALLLLLSSSS!)**

Mable whimpers as she covers her groin.

Candy steps up to the man.

"You can't deny all the good she's done: piggy play time, cat-pictures, knitting circle kung-fu-

 **And that's another thing I hate about Mable!**

Shouts the man as he tosses Candy away.

 **Is all that twits who gush about Mable**

 **And how they prattle on even when she's had NO accomplishments without Dipper's help**

 **Well la-di-da-di-da**

 **And once they start the gushing**  
 **There's no stopping them and then it's**

 **Blah-blah-blah-blah-blah Mable**

 **And she walks in it's**  
 **Dum-de-dum-ta-da Mable!**

 **She's holding court and she say's:**

He begins in a mocking/baby-voice.

 **"I'm such a great matchmaker even though my dating record is a joke!**

 **And forget about me helping my brother Dipper find love because even though he saves my life I think he's such a joke!"**

 **And they're all "ooh" and she's all "stop"**  
 **And they're all "cute" and I'm all "*retch*!"**

 **And you know that Dipper will still be babysitting her when she's EIGHTY!**

He suddenly flings his podium to the ground

 **And oh, oh, oh!**

He smashes his podium enraged and stomps it to bit's.

 **Oh, I hate MABLE!**

Everyone sighs exasperated.

 **(I think by now, we sort of Know you hate Mable)**

 **YOUR DAME RIGHT!**

 **The way she's skeptical of all things supernatural even after two seasons.**

 **The way she refuses to learn any lessons no matter the reasons**

 **The way everything HAS to revolve around her even though she doesn't do shit**

 **An ungrateful little bitch who I just can't tolerate**

 **The poster child for why No one should ever procreate**

 **Let me make a shorter list** **And I will give it to you straight**

 **Every little thing about Mable**

 **Is what I hate!**

Against their better judgement, the chorus begins again-

 **(Hates, he hates)**

 **(He clearly surely, really, truly)**  
 **(Hates Mable!)**

 **Don't hate!**

Shouts Mable.

 **CRACK!**

And gets a chair to her face for her troubles...

…III...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: The song is a parody of 'God I hate Shakespeare' by 'something Rotten'**

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	235. World War Pony (Crushing Defeat edition)

**World War Pony (Crushing defeat Edition)**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...III...

 _And thus WWII ended..._

 _The Nuremberg trials and the discovery of the concentration camps had demonized and brought low a monstrous ideology..._

 _The atomic bombs of Nagasaki and Hiroshima had humbled the Japanese to surrender..._

 _Congratulations America! We couldn't have done it without you!_

The 'old' propaganda film flickered out after a close up of the famous V-J Time Square kiss scene, surrounded by the cheers of thousands...

But there was no cheering in the room...only anger and fear...of The Axis powers...

Mere hours ago...Hitler, Mussolini, _Emperor_ Hirohito, and Hideki Tōjō were busy governing the concerns of their people...and also preparing for inevitable war against their nations enemies...

Suddenly they found themselves whisked away into this strange place watching a 1950's propaganda Documentary of the destruction of their nations and people...

The main problem with this? It was 1935!

But frankly, the Axis had bigger concerns on their minds..mainly if the DEMON- for what else could such a beast be? -in the corner would eat them.

It was tall, wore a business suite, and had no face...and it radiated murder and death...

The creature shook it's head at the reel.

 **"Shame, isn't it? To see one's hard work go up in smoke? To have your legacy written by your enemies? To be remembered as nothing but monsters and failures?"**

How the creature spoke without a mouth none of the men could say...actually, they couldn't even move! whatever this...THING was it had completely paralyzed them!

The creature continued on... **"But it doesn't have to be this way, how would you like to regain control of your destiny? A chance to Tear down the 'status quo' and gain everything your hearts desire?"**

Hitler was first to regain his bravery, although in many ways more superstitious and cowardly then the rest...his lust for glory and conquest would always win out over this...

"Du ... wirst du mit uns arbeiten um uns zu gewinnen?" He asked, not quite believing his luck. Wasn't too often a 'higher-power' agreed to help with one's vision for the world after all...

The creature (somehow)laughed, **ME? Work WITH you?...adorable, just adorable."** He (somehow)tutted and waged one of his long slender fingers.

 **"No, no, no. Gentlemen, let's be very clear, although I'll eventually leave you to your own devices. But in the meantime, you'd be working FOR me...Is that a problem?"**

These three men, these men who were in control of three of the most powerful armies in the world...were too afraid to say yes...

And thus the deal was struck...and the plan laid bare...

"Amerika no nani? Watashi ga shinjuwan o kōgeki shite iru koto ga watashi no min no botsuraku ni naru no o mitekara..." Asked the Emperor.

The faceless demon cackled, **"Leave America to yours truly** \- point's to himself - **they're about to have BIGGER worries...**

...Soviet/polish border, 1941...

Several Russian guards lazily played poker.

The fight between Germany and the western powers was going well, Germany had thrown it's full might into it and France had fallen quickly and soon Britain might just fall as well.

Even Italy was doing surprisingly well, Perhaps Mussolini would rebuild his precious 'Roman Empire' after all...

No one was brave enough to speak it- Lest the KGB hear -But despite Stalin's 'reassurance' many had feared that the Germans would break their agreement and invade. And although the Russians had superior numbers on their side...the recent 'purges' had robbed them of many competent military leaders...not to mention the possibility that many oppressed Russian minorities might see Germans as liberators and switch sides...

However, everything seemed to go according to plan. After Poland was invaded and crushed, the Germans had clearly sent the vast majority of their forces to aid the western front. Leaving behind enough to occupy and keep the Poles in line, but too little to invade.

Which was just fine with the Russians, they got what they- well, what Stalin wanted anyway -and they could just sit back and leisurely watch the western powers weaken each other...

 **ZAP!**

All the Russians looked up startled as suddenly, giant, shapes had appeared just past the border...a giant metal behemoths that seemed to hover off the ground! Followed by floating tanks!

Before any could respond...the behemoths opened! and out sprung out a strange attachment...that then began to unfold and lay down strange 'things' on the ground.

"Activate the droids" said a German officer...

 **...(music begins)...**

 **...(Star Wars -Droid invasion/Trade federation march theme)...**

The Russian Soldiers watched stunned as the 'things' stood up as one, the metal men (soon to be known and feared as B1 and B2 battle droids) then pulled out their guns and marched onto soviet soil.

Completely taken by surprise, terrified by the sight of these metal monsters, hopelessly outnumbered and outgunned the border encampments were quickly wiped out...

Without rest or concern the droids marched on while their german masters cheered, Swastika's proudly engraved on their chests...

The Russians were about to learn that the only thing colder then a Russian Winter...was a heart of steel...

 **...Meanwhile...**

 **...Soviet/Japanese border...**

In a different universe, the battles of Lake Khasan and khalkhyn Gol would've brought much more attention to these borders...

This was not that universe...

Despite the Sino-Japanese war, things had been surprisingly quiet as far as the Russians were concerned no real fighting between them and Japan whatsoever...

And thus there was no warning...

 **...Music begins...**

 **...Star wars-Imperial march...**

The Japanese Imperial Clone army gave a mighty battle cry as they jointly invaded Mongolia, Irkutsk, and Vladivostok...

...Meanwhile...

...Italy...

Mussolini sighed, he knew that he should be happy...according to Slenderman the main reason his army was so terrible in the old timeline was because his military leaders were so corrupt and incompetent...so Slenderman had simply taken control of his men's bodies, trained his forces to fight a WWII style war instead of lazing about and when war came he quickly lead them crush and conquer Greece, Egypt, taking the Suez canal and thus effectively cutting the British Empire in half...

And it seems like Mesopotamia, the Lavant, Sudan, and Kenya would quickly fall as well. Also, since Slenderman to keep his involvement secret, all the credit was going to him.

He SHOULD be happy...and yet...

"Come mai hanno ottenuto i grandi, impressionanti, futuristici eserciti e non io?" He asked out loud annoyed.

And suddenly Slenderman was there(somehow) glaring at him, **"Dude your men had the advantage of 90,000 Italians and 200,000 native conscripts and still LOST against 17,500 British in the old time line...you suck, your boring, your not interesting and I've only given you as much help as I have to make my end game more interesting..."**

And with that blunt confession, he leaves Mussolini to mope...

...USA, December 8, 1941...

FDR readied himself for the speech of his life. He knew that the war ahead would be long and hard, they were not coming in on the best foot:

The Soviet Union was on it's last legs, Stalin had been deposed in a coup and soon Russia would be divided among Germany and Japan...

Nationalist China had long since collapsed...

The French were basically a non-entity...

England was still fighting- God bless them -but half of the United Kingdom had been conquered and the Royal family and Parliament were being evacuated to Canada at this very moment

FDR had had a bad feeling about Japan ever since they invaded French indo-China, naturally they'd cut of their oil...but instead of anger, FDR had gotten dismissive shrugs and knowing smirks.

Indeed, his sources were telling him that the loss of oil and other US supplies not only hadn't slowed the Japanese down...they'd actually TRIPLED production!

FDR looked through the files detailing the horror stories he'd been hearing from Europe...

Metal Nazi's who never tired, never hungered and brushed off the Russia Winter like it were a cool breeze?

The Japanese fielding an army three times bigger then it's population that was armed with LASERS and JETPACKS?!

It was something worthy of H.G. Wells!

And now both of these giants(and to a lesser extent Italy) had their greedy eyes on his beloved country.

Once more FDR wondered if his Polio had gotten the better of him in his sleep and he was actually dead and in hell?

FDR just sighed as he took a stiff drink and continued to read the files...

Although the metal men seemed immune to bullets, grenades, bazookas, and artillery could bring them down...of course this meant nothing when their superior tanks and aircraft just bombed said artillery to bits.

...this was AFTER they tore the Allies tanks and aircraft to bits of course.

And now they'd captured Pearl Harbor...

Despite the tragedy it made FDR smile to see his nation united to avenge such a travesty...perhaps they could win this yet? After all the Manhattan project was showing progress...

Putting these thoughts aside, FDR wheeled himself into Congress and began his speech:

 _ **Yesterday, December 7, 1941—a date which will live in infamy—the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the Empire of Japan.**_

 _ **The United States was at peace with that Nation and, at the solicitation of Japan, was still in conversation with its Government and its Emperor looking toward the maintenance of peace in the Pacific. Indeed, one hour after Japanese air squadrons had commenced bombing in the American Island of Oahu, the Japanese Ambassador to the United States and his colleague delivered to our Secretary of State a formal reply to a recent American message. And while this reply stated that it seemed useless to continue the existing diplomatic negotiations, it contained no threat or hint of war or of armed attack.**_

 _ **It will be recorded that the distance of Hawaii from Japan makes it obvious that the attack was deliberately planned many days or even weeks ago. During the intervening time the Japanese Government has deliberately sought to deceive the United States by false statements and expressions of hope for continued peace.**_

 _ **The attack yesterday on the Hawaiian Islands has caused severe damage to American naval and military forces. I regret to tell you that very many American lives have been lost. In addition American ships have been reported torpedoed on the high seas between San Francisco and Honolulu.**_

 _ **Yesterday the Japanese Government also launched an attack against Malaya.**_  
 _ **Last night Japanese forces attacked Hong Kong.**_  
 _ **Last night Japanese forces attacked Guam.**_  
 _ **Last night Japanese forces attacked the Philippine Islands.**_  
 _ **Last night the Japanese attacked Wake Island. And this morning the Japanese attacked Midway Island.**_

 _ **Japan has, therefore, undertaken a surprise offensive extending throughout the Pacific area. The facts of yesterday and today speak for themselves. The people of the United States have already formed their opinions and well understand the implications to the very life and safety of our Nation.**_

 _ **As Commander in Chief of the Army and Navy I have directed that all measures be taken for our defense.**_

 _ **But always will our whole Nation remember the character of the onslaught against us.**_

 _ **No matter how long it may take us to overcome this premeditated invasion, the American people in their righteous might will win through to absolute victory. I believe that I interpret the will of the Congress and of the people when I assert that we will not only defend ourselves to the uttermost but will make it very certain that this form of treachery shall never again endanger us.**_

 _ **Hostilities exist. There is no blinking at the fact that our people, our territory, and our interests are in grave danger.**_

 _ **With confidence in our armed forces—with the unbounding determination of our people—we will gain the inevitable triumph- so help us God.**_

 ** _I ask that the Congress declare that since the unprovoked and dastardly attack by Japan on Sunday, December 7, 1941, a state of war has existed between the United States and the Japanese Empire._ **

This speech was meet with resounding applause, Again despite the situation FDR couldn't help but feel a bit pleased with himself.

 _"We beat the Jerrie's once. God willing, Will beat them again. Throw everything you got at us Hitler, were ready for you!"_

 **ZAP!**

FDR blinked...standing around him...were a bunch of colorful horses, a couple dragons, some weird deer/insect thing, some giant birds, and some yaks?

Twilight blinked, one moment she was giving a lecture to her friendship class the next she was in a room full of humans?

Everyone was too stunned to say anything...

Then FDR finally snapped out of it, "What the devil-

 **BOOM!**

The bottom half of North America and South America had five seconds to see the giant landmass that made up Equestria and the surrounding kingdoms appear above them...right before it fell on them and crushed them all to death...

Above it all a cackling Slenderman laughed as he drunk some mead, **"Cheers!"** He toasts to the suffering of a nation...and the beginning of a VERY weird war indeed!

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

 **"Oh! Almost forgot!"** Shouts the eldritch abomination as he snaps his fingers summoning Gravity Falls to appear in the middle of Oregon without fuss or commotion because...

 **"Why not?"**

…III...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	236. World War Pony

**World War Pony**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...III...

... **Germany, 1911**...

Kaiser Wilhelm II was beside himself, no where he looked, it looked like war would be coming to Europe...the recent Agadir crisis in Morocco was just yet another step to it. Worse, Britain was clearly favoring France over Germany.

...it was all a tangled mess...the alliances, the nationalism, the declining health of the Ottoman empire, the lapse of the so-called 'balance of power'...no, this would not end well at all...

Wilhelm decided to take a breather and maybe have some ale, he opened the door and walked into the hallway-

 **NO GODS OR KINGS**

 **ONLY MAN**

The Kaiser was stunned...he was underwater! No, in a CITY underwater! A bit banged up, but still spectacular! He looked back to where he'd 'come in' but the door was gone! Nothing but Ocean! Was that a whale?

 **"Breathtaking, isn't it?"**

Now the Kaiser was a brave man give him a saber and he'd tear down his enemies like any true Prussian King! And yet...as he beheld the monster before him- a ghastly creature that towered over him, had no face, and yet wore a snappy business suite -terrified him beyond measure

 **"Glorious Beachfront property, a view to die for, and a treasure trove of tech that's centuries ahead of your enemies! And I can give it all to you- even teach you how to use it! -All for the low, low price of rethinking some of upcoming battle strategies! Like say...the Schlieffen plan?"**

The Kaiser just stood speechless as the Creature took him on a 'guided tour' of the great city that would change the course of History as we know it...

... **Later, in Russia**...

 **"WHAT!? HE WON'T DIE UNTIL 1916!?"** Shouts slenderman as he reads 'Famous European Mystics'. **"Well that won't work at all! That throws off my whole plan!"**

Slenderman sighs, **"Well, can't be helped...TIME FOR A RETCON!"**

And thus the fabric of time was altered...speeding up events of that one 'event' would happen in 1911 instead of 1916...but nothing else would be altered...

 **...later? Earlier? who can say?(1911-ish?)...**

Felix Yusupov, Dimitri Pavlovich, and many others watched from the Petrovsky Bridge as Grigor Rasputin's body sank into the Malaya Nevka River...they'd poisoned him...then shot him...TWICE! He had to dead...HE HAD TO BE DEAD!

...Still...it wouldn't hurt to stay a bit...just to be sure?

"Felix...my friend...why have you done this to me?" Said a familiar voice behind him

Felix went quite pale... "Net ... eto ne mozhet byt' ..."

But he turned with his fellow conspirators...and there he stood...the Mad Monk, alive and well.

Despite the fear running through them, Dimitri managed to scream out; "PRISTRELI YEGO! SMOTRITE DEMON!" All but Felix obeyed, their guns blazed...

But through it all...Rasputin did not fall, he did not waver, did not even seem to notice the many bullet wounds that now dotted his body...nor when they started to heal...

This was the final straw, most of the conspirators through down their weapons and ran in fear...none would leave alive...

Felix did not run- what was the point? -he instead just fell to his knees as he companions screams echoed through the night...his scream too would join them as the inky black tentacles rose from the shadows and dragged him to suffering everlasting...

Slenderman admired his new 'Business partner's' handiwork, **"Right, remember our deal come wartime?"**

The Mad Monk simply bowed to his new lord...

 **... 1912 Republican National Convention...**

"Died in the BATHTUB!?" Exclaimed Teddy Roosevelt in disbelief. The Republican congressman nodded, "Poor Taft...we knew the man was fat...but to go out THAT way? ...shameful, just shameful."

Roosevelt simply shook his head, he may have been displeased with how Taft ran things...but no man deserved to go out that way...

Together they walked out to drink a pint in Taft's name...and to discuss the upcoming election...of which Teddy was now a shoo-in...

 **...later that year...**

Roosevelt gives his speech:

 ** _We come here today to commemorate one of the epochmaking events of the long struggle_  
 _for the rights of man, the long struggle for the uplift of humanity. Our country_  
 _-_**

 _This great Republic means nothing unless it means the triumph of a real democracy, the triumph of popular government, and, in the long run, of an economic system under which each man shall_  
 _be guaranteed the opportunity to show the best that there is in him._

 _That is why the history of America is now the central feature of the history of the world; for the world has set its face hopefully toward our democracy; and, O my fellow citizens, each one of you carries on your shoulders not only the burden of doing well for the sake of your own country, but the burden of doing well and of seeing that this nation does well for the sake of have been two great crises in our country's history: first, when it was formed, and then, again, when it was perpetuated; and, in the second of these great crises._  
 _-_  
 _in the time of stress and strain which culminated in the Civil War, on the outcome of which depended the justification of what had been done earlier, you men of the Grand Army, you men who fought through the Civil War, not only did you justify your generation, not only did you render life worth living for our generation, but you justified the wisdom of Washington and Washington's colleagues._

 _If this Republic had been founded by them only to be split asunder into fragments when the strain came, then the judgment of the world would have been that Washington's work was not worth doing. It was you who crowned Washington's work, as you carried to achievement the high purpose of Abraham Lincoln._

 _Now, with this second period of our history the name of John Brown will be forever associated; and Kansas was the theater upon which the first act of the second of our great national life dramas was played._

 _It was the result of the struggle in Kansas which determined that our country should be in deed as well as in name devoted to both union and freedom; that the great experiment of democratic government on a national scale should succeed and not fail. In name we had the Declaration of Independence in 1776; but we gave the lie by our acts to the words of the Declaration of Independence until 1865; and words count for nothing except in so far as they represent acts._

 _This is true everywhere; but, O my friends, it should be truest of all in political life. A broken promise is bad enough in private life. It is worse in the field of politics._

 _No man is worth his salt in public life who makes on the stump a pledge which_  
 _he does not keep after election; and, if he makes such a pledge and does not keep it, hunt him out of public life. I care for the great deeds of the past chiefly as spurs to drive us onward in the present. I speak of the men of the past partly that they may be honored by our praise of them, but more that they may serve as examples for the future._

 _It was a heroic struggle; and, as is inevitable with all such struggles, it had also a dark and_  
 _terrible side. Very much was done of good, and much also of evil; and, as was inevitable in_  
 _such a period of revolution, often the same man did both good and evil._

 _For our great good fortune as a nation, we, the people of the United States as a whole, can now afford to forget the evil, or, at least, to remember it without bitterness, and to fix our eyes with pride only on the good that was accomplished._

 _Even in ordinary times there are very few of us who do not see the problems of life as through a glass, darkly; and when the glass is clouded by the murk of furious popular passion, the vision of the best and the bravest is dimmed._

 _Looking back, we are all of us now able to do justice to the valor and the disinterestedness and the love of the right, as to each it was given to see the right, shown both by the men of the North and the men of the South in that contest which was finally decided by the attitude of the West._

 _We can admire the heroic valor, the sincerity, the self devotion shown alike by the men who wore the blue and the men who wore the gray; and our sadness that such men should have had to fight one another is tempered by the glad knowledge that ever hereafter their descendants shall be found fighting side by side, struggling in peace as well as in war for the uplift of their common country. all alike resolute to raise to the highest pitch of honor and usefulness the nation to which they all belong._

 _As for the veterans of the Grand Army of the Republic, they deserve honor and recognition such as is paid to no other citizens of the Republic; for to them the republic owes its all; for to them it owes its very existence._

 _It is because of what you and your comrades did in the dark years that we of to day walk, each of us, head erect, and proud that we belong, not to one of a dozen little squabbling contemptible commonwealths, but to the mightiest nation upon which the sun shines._

 _I do not speak of this struggle of the past merely from the historic standpoint. Our interest is primarily in the application to day of the lessons taught by the contest of half a century ago._

 _It is of little use for us to pay lip loyalty to the mighty men of the past unless we sincerely endeavor to apply to the problems of the present precisely the qualities which in other crises enable the men of that day to meet those crises._

 _It is half melancholy and half amusing to see the way in which well meaning people gather to do honor to the man who, in company with John Brown, and under the lead of Abraham Lincoln, faced and solved the great problems of the nineteenth century, while, at the same time, these same good people nervously shrink from, or frantically denounce, those who are trying to meet the problems of the twentieth century in the spirit which was accountable for the successful solution of the problems of Lincoln's time. should have justice._

 _For every special interest is entitled to justice, but not one is entitled to a vote in Congress, to a voice on the bench, or to representation in any public office._

 _The Constitution guarantees protections to property, and we must make that promise good But it does not give the right of suffrage to any corporation._

 _The true friend of property, the true conservative, is he who insists that property shall be the servant and not the master of the commonwealth; who insists that the creature of man's making shall be the servant and not the master of the man who made it. The citizens of the United States must effectively control the mighty commercial forces which they have themselves called into being._

 _There can be no effective control of corporations while their political activity remains. To put an end to it will be neither a short nor an easy task, but it can be done._

 _We must have complete and effective publicity of corporate affairs, so that people may know_  
 _beyond peradventure whether the corporations obey the law and whether their management entitles them to the confidence of the public._

 _It is necessary that laws should be passed to_  
 _prohibit the use of corporate funds directly or indirectly for political purposes; it is still more_  
 _necessary that such laws should be thoroughly enforced._

 _Corporate expenditures for political purposes, and especially such expenditures by public service corporations, have supplied one of the principal sources of corruption in our political affairs._

 _It has become entirely clear that we must have government supervision of the capitalization, not only of public service corporations, including, particularly, railways, but of all corporations doing an interstate business._

 _I do not wish to see the nation forced into the ownership of the railways if it can possibly be avoided, and the only alternative is thoroughgoing and effective regulation, which shall be based on a full knowledge of all the facts, including a physical valuation of property. This physical valuation is not needed, or, at least, is very rarely needed, for fixing rates; but it is needed as the basis of honest capitalization._

 _We have come to recognize that franchises should never be granted except for a limited time, and never without proper provision for compensation to the public._

 _It is my personal belief that the same kind and degree of control and supervision which should be exercised over public service corporations should be extended also to combinations which control necessaries of life, such as meat, oil, and coal, or which deal in them on an important scale._

 _I have not doubt that the ordinary man who has control of them is much like ourselves. I have no doubt he would like to do well, but I want to have enough supervision to help him realize that desire to do well._

 _I believe that the officers, and, especially, the directors, of corporations should be held personally responsible when any corporation breaks the law._

 _Combinations in industry are the result of an imperative economic law which cannot be repealed by political legislation._

 _The effort at prohibiting all combination has substantially failed. The way out lies, not in attempting to prevent such combinations, but in completely._

 _his children leaves it to them a little better than he found it himself. I believe the same thing of a nation._

 _Moreover, I believe that the natural resources must be used for the benefit of all our people, and not monopolized for the benefit of the few, and here again is another case in which I am accused of taking a revolutionary attitude._

 _People forget now that one hundred years ago there were public men of good character who advocated the nation selling its public lands in great quantities, so that the nation could get the most money out of it, and giving it to the men who could cultivate it for their own uses. We took the proper democratic ground that the land should be granted in small sections to the men who were actually to till it and live on it._

 _Now, with the waterpower with the forests, with the mines, we are brought face to face with the fact that there are many people who will go with us in conserving the resources only if they are to be allowed to exploit them for their benefit. That is one of the fundamental reasons why the special interest should be driven out of politics._

 _Of all the questions which can come before this nation, short of the actual preservation of its existence in a great war, there is none which compares in importance with the great central task of leaving this land even a better land for our descendants than it is for us, and training them into a better race to inhabit the land and pass it on. Conservation is a great moral issue for it involves the patriotic duty of insuring the safety and continuance of the nation._

 _Let me add that the health and vitality of our people are at least as well worth conserving as their forests, waters, lands, and minerals, and in this great work the national government must bear a most important part._

 _I have spoken elsewhere also of the great task which lies before the farmers of the country to get for themselves and their wives and children not only the benefits of better farming, but also those of better business methods and better conditions of life on the farm. The burden of this great task will fall, as it should, mainly upon the great organizations of the farmers themselves._

 _I am glad it will, for I believe they are all able to handle it. In particular, there are strong reasons why the Departments of Agriculture of the various States, and the United States Department of Agriculture, and the agricultural colleges and experiment stations should extend their work to cover all phases of farm life, instead of limiting themselves. as they have far too often limited themselves in the past, solely to the question of the production of crops._

 _And now a special word to the farmer. I want to see him make the farm as fine a farm as it can be made; and let him remember to see that the improvement goes on indoors as well as out; let him remember that the farmer's wife should have her share of thought and attention just as much as the farmer himself. Nothing is more true than that excess of every kind is followed by reaction; a fact which should be pondered by reformer and reactionary alike._

 _We are face to face with new conceptions of the relations of property to human welfare, chiefly because certain advocates of the rights of property as against the rights of men have been pushing their claims too far._

 _The man who wrongly holds that every human right is secondary to his profit must now give way to the advocate of human welfare, who rightly maintains that every man holds his property subject to the general right of the community to regulate its use to whatever degree the public welfare may require it._

 _But I think we may go still further. The right to regulate the use of wealth in the public interest is universally admitted. Let us admit also the right to regulate the terms and conditions of labor, which is the chief element of wealth, directly in the interest of the common good._

 _The fundamental thing to do for every man is to give him a chance to reach a place in which he will make the greatest possible contribution to the public welfare. Understand what I say there._

 _Give him a chance, not push him up if he will not be pushed. Help any man who stumbles; if he lies down, it is a poor job to try to carry him; but if he is a worthy man, try your best to see that he gets a chance to show the worth that is in him._

 _No man can be a good citizen unless he has a wage more than sufficient to cover the bare cost of living, and hours of labor short enough so that after his day's work is done he will have time and energy to bear his share in the management of the community, to help in carrying the general load. We keep countless men from being good citizens by the conditions of life with which we surround them._

 _We need comprehensive workmen's compensation acts, both State and national laws to regulate child_  
 _labor and work for women, and, especially, we need in our common schools not merely education in booklearning, but also practical training for daily life and work. We need to enforce better sanitary conditions for our workers and to extend the use of safety appliances for our workers in industry and commerce, both within and between the States._

 _Also, friends, in the interest of the working man himself we need to set our faces like Mint against mob violence just as against corporate greed; against violence and injustice and lawlessness by wage workers just as much as against lawless cunning and greed and selfish arrogance of employers._

 _If I could ask but one thing of my fellow countrymen, my request would be that, whenever they go in for reform, they remember the two sides, and that they always exact justice from one side as much as from the other._

 _I have small use for the public servant who can always see and denounce the corruption of the capitalist, but who cannot persuade himself, especially before elections, to say a word about lawless mob violence._

 _And I have equally small use for the man, be he a judge on the bench, or editor of a great paper, or wealthy and influential private citizen, who can see clearly enough and denounce the lawlessness of mob violence, but whose eyes are closed so that he is blind when the question is one of corruption in business on a gigantic scale. Also remember what I said about excess in reformer and reactionary alike._

 _If the reactionary man, who thinks of nothing but the rights of property, could have his way, he would bring about a revolution; and one of my chief fears in connection with progress comes because I do not want to see our people, for lack of proper leadership, compelled to follow men whose intentions are excellent, but whose eyes are a little too wild to make it really safe to trust them._

 _Here in Kansas there is one paper which habitually denounces me as the tool of Wall Street, and at the same time frantically repudiates the statement that I am a Socialist on the ground that is an unwarranted slander of the Socialists._

 _National efficiency has many factors. It is a necessary result of the principle of conservation widely applied. In the end it will determine our failure or success as a nation. National efficiency has to do, not only with natural resources and with men, but is equally concerned with institutions._

 _The State must be made efficient for the work which concerns only the people of the State; and the nation for that which concerns all the people. There must remain no neutral ground to serve as a refuge for lawbreakers, and especially for lawbreakers of great wealth, who can hire the vulpine legal cunning which will teach them how to avoid both jurisdictions._

 _It is a misfortune when the national legislature fails to do its duty in providing a national remedy, so that the only national activity is the purely negative activity of the judiciary in forbidding the State to exercise power in the premises._

 _I do not ask for overcentralization; but I do ask that we work in a spirit of broad and far reaching nationalism when we work for what concerns our people as a whole. We are all Americans. Our common interests are as broad as the continent._

 _I speak to you here in Kansas exactly as I would speak in New York or Georgia, for the most vital problems are those which affect us all alike._

 _The national government belongs to the whole American people, and where the whole American people are interested, that interest can be guarded effectively only by the national government. The betterment which we seek must be accomplished, I believe, mainly through the national government._

 _The American people are right in demanding that New Nationalism, without which we cannot hope to deal with new problems. The New Nationalism puts the national need before sectional or personal advantage._

 _It is impatient of the utter confusion that results from local legislatures attempting to treat national issues as local issues. It is still more impatient of the impotence which springs from overdivision of governmental powers, the impotence which makes it possible for local selfishness or for legal cunning, hired by wealthy special interests, to bring national activities to a deadlock. This New Nationalism regards the executive power as the_  
 _steward of the public welfare._

 _It demands of the judiciary that it shall be interested primarily in human welfare rather than in property, just as it demands that the representative body shall represent all the people rather than any one class or section of the people._  
 _I believe in shaping the ends of government to protect property as well as human welfare._

 _Normally, and in the long run, the ends are the same; but whenever the alternative must be faced, I am for men and not for property, as you were in the Civil War. I am far from underestimating the importance of dividends; but I rank dividends below human character._

 _Again, I do not have any sympathy with the reformer who says he does not care for dividends. Of course, economic welfare is necessary, for a man must pull his own weight and be able to support his family._

 _I know well that the reformers must not bring upon the people economic ruin, or the reforms themselves will go down in the ruin. But we must be ready to face temporary disaster, whether or not brought on by those who will war against us to the knife._

 _Those who oppose all reform will do well to remember that ruin in its worst form is inevitable if our national life brings us nothing better than swollen fortunes for the few and the triumph in both politics and business of a sordid and selfish materialism. If our political institutions were perfect, they would absolutely prevent the political_  
 _domination of money in any part of our affairs._

 _We need to make our political representatives more quickly and sensitively responsive to the people whose servants they are. More direct action by the people in their own affairs under proper safeguards is vitally necessary._

 _The direct primary is a step in this direction, if it is associated with a corrupt practices act effective to prevent the advantage of the man willing recklessly and unscrupulously to spend money over his more honest competitor._

 _It is particularly important that all moneys received or expended for campaign purposes should be publicly accounted for, not only after election, but before election as well. Political action must be made simpler, easier, and freer from confusion for every citizen._

 _I believe that the prompt removal of unfaithful or incompetent public servants should be made easy and sure in whatever way experience shall show to be most expedient in any given class of cases._

 _One of the fundamental necessities in a representative government such as ours is to make certain that the men to whom the people delegate their power shall serve the people by whom they are elected, and not the special interests._

 _I believe that every national officer, elected or appointed, should be forbidden to perform any service or receive any compensation, directly or indirectly, from interstate corporations; and a similar provision could not fail to be useful within the States._

 _The object of government is the welfare of the people. The material progress and prosperity of a nation are desirable chiefly so far as they lead to the moral and material welfare of all good citizens. Just in proportion as the average man and woman are honest, capable of sound judgment and high ideals, active in public affairs._  
 _-_  
 _but, first of all, sound in their home life, and the father and mother of healthy children whom they bring up well just so far, and no farther, we may count our civilization a success._  
 _-_  
 _I believe we have already a genuine and permanent moral awakening, without which no wisdom of legislation or administration really means anything; and, on the other hand, we must try to secure the social and economic legislation without which any improvement due to purely moral agitation is necessarily evanescent._

 _Let me again illustrate by a reference to the Grand Army. You could not have won simply as a disorderly and disorganized mob. You needed generals; you needed careful administration of the most advanced type; and a good commissary._  
 _-_  
 _The cracker line. You well remember that success was necessary in many different lines in order to bring about_  
 _general success._

 _You had to have the administration at Washington good, just as you had to have the_  
 _administration in the field; and you had to have the work of the generals good. You could not_  
 _have triumphed without that administration and leadership; but it would all have been_  
 _worthless if the average soldier had not had the right stuff in him._

 _He had to have the right stuff in him, or you could not get it out of him. In the last analysis, therefore, vitally necessary_  
 _though it was to have the right kind of organization and the right kind of generalship, it was even more vitally necessary that the average soldier should have the fighting edge, the right character._

 _So it is in our civil life. No matter how honest and decent we are in our private lives, if we do_  
 _not have the right kind of law and the right kind of administration of the law, we cannot go forward as a nation._

 _That is imperative; but it must be an addition to, and not a substitution for, the qualities that make us good citizens._

 _In the last analysis, the most important elements in any man's career must be the sum of those qualities which, in the aggregate, we speak of as character._

 _If he has not got it, then no law that the wit of man can devise, no administration of_  
 _the law by the boldest and strongest executive, will avail to help him. We must have the right kind of character._  
 _-_  
 _character that makes a man, first of all, a good man in the home, a good_  
 _father, a good husband that makes a man a good neighbor._

 _You must have that, and, then, in addition, you must have the kind of law and the kind of administration of the law which will give to those qualities in the private citizen the best possible chance for development._

 _The prime problem of our nation is to get the right type of good citizenship, and, to get it, we must_  
 _have progress, and our public men must be genuinely progressive..._

 **...Even later that year...**

Roosevelt naturally won in a landslide and today was his inauguration, "I do solemnly swear, that I will faithfully execute, the Office, of President of the United States, and will to the best of my Ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution, of the United States." He swore.

Just in time too, with how things were shaping up in Europe-

 **ZAP!**

Suddenly an Aurora Borealis was seen across heavens...

 **BOOM!**

And the ground itself began to shake...

 **...Equestria?...**

Newly Ascended Princess Twilight Sparkle found herself flung from bed as a great quake shook everything...

 **...Gravity Falls?...**

One Dipper Pines would be having the same issue...

 **...California...**

A local fisherman was flung from his boat, he looked up in time to see a strange new landmass appear across the sea...

None of the were aware that both their worlds just got a lot bigger...

 **...Badlands...**

The changelings woke up in fright and scurried to their queen...

 **...Northern Equestria...**

Deep below the ice and snow...

Deep below where shadows grow...

King Sombra Woke...

 **...Tarterus...**

Tirek lifted his head as his bars and manacles shook...

 **...Canterlot Royal Gardens...**

A piece of plaster fell from Discords statue...

 **...?...**

The storm king snores...

…III...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	237. A pig or a friend? 18: RasenganFin

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

Gamelover41592: ...1. I have my issues with her. 2. This is more the result of merging several plot-bunnies together then anything

...III...

Stan was giving Mable gruff about hitting Wendy in the eye with a laptop piece, "Wendy's unassuming appearance lets her get the drop on potential shoplifters. Despite her lazy attitude she will lay down the thunder. It's why I haven't fired her despite her attitude. I don't know what you did you get her so angry Mabel, but I suggest you make amends soon. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go into the next room and scratch myself in some very inappropriate locations on my body."

Mable sighed as he left, she looked over as once again Dipper was having a good time with Wendy and Pacifica...and not even inviting her...

Suddenly Stan runs out of the room carrying old Goldie and toward Soos, "Soos! Buddy! We need to get Las Vegas quick! If I play my cards right then marrying this- lifts up Goldie -we'll give me a huge payout, but we gotta move fast! You need to be my wingman if things go sideways!"

Soos frowned, "No can do Mr. Pines, My cousin Reggie is having his rehearsal Dinner tonight and I-

"Yeah, don't care! Fine! I'll go myself!"

"Can I go?" Asked Mable excitedly, Dipper wouldn't invite her to more adventures? FINE! She wouldn't invite him either!"

Stan frowned for a moment...Then shrugged. "Eh, beggars can't be choosers."

Mable squealed as she ran after him, she could see it now! This was the start of anew series of adventures! Just her and her Grunkle Stan!

...

Wendy, Pacifica and Dipper laughed as they watched on TV as Robbie got kicked in the nuts by A Kill-Billy...only to then be beten up and dragged away by the Blind-eye's.

They put in another random memory tube and laugh as Lazy-Susan's hair gets set on fire by a gremlin.

But the laughter stopped when they saw the next tube...Wendy and Dipper on a date!?

"WAIT, WHAT!?"

According to the Tube it was dated shortly AFTER the 'Lamby Dance' incident.

"I...I remember now! I dated him as a thank you for saving my life!" Shouted Wendy, No wonder nothing ever came out of her 'stare at a wall and rethink everything' revelation!

Dipper snarled, apparently they were attacked by a werewolf mail man- So Soos was right! -half way through the date.

And then happened to be unlucky that time to be spotted by the Blind-eye's who then captured them while they were too tired and injured to fight back.

Both Wendy and Dipper growled at this, if not for that stupid society...they might have been dating by now!

Fortunately, Pacifica gets things back on a lighter side by bringing out a tube labeled for her and Dipper that was dated after the 'pioneer day' scandal.

At first Wendy and Pacifica were laughing- while Dipper grumbled -as Pacifica pretended to be a bandit, cornering Dipper in the woods, pressing a fake gun to his back and forcing him to strip naked.

She then reveals who she really is and throws his clothes off a nearby cliff before Dipper can stop her...

And the it was Dipper's turn to laugh with Wendy while Pacifica grumbles.

For karma decided to pay Pacifica back at this point in the form of a Leprechaun attacking her and filling her clothes with rash weed for a laugh.

Panicked and itchy, Pacifica strips down completely to scratch herself.

Dipper then quickly steals her clothes- pauses long enough to dump out the rash weed and wash it in a nearby stream -and then runs off with them to wear home...only to run into a Blind-Eye guy who quickly captures them both.

 _"So that's how I ended up outside and naked that one night...stupid jerks could have at least given me clothes! ...well, at least no one saw me streak home..."_ Thinks Pacifica.

 _"So that naked blonde girl I saw after waking up that night in the woods was PACIFICA? ...Huh, neat."_ Thinks Dipper.

It's then that Pacifica gets a call from Stan saying he'll be gone and their in charge of the shack...she gets a wicked grin.

"Wendy...I think it's time we held up our deal to Dipper."

Wendy gulps as she blushes...

...Meanwhile in Vegas...

Mable sighs as she watches Stan's car burn while naked and chained to a flagpole, "I don't think this spinoff will get the greenlight". She admitted outloud.

...

They had Dipper wait outside while they undressed, and to be fair to Dipper Pacifica tossed their clothes out the window so they couldn't back out...

Pacifica seemed more confident and just walked straight out...But Wendy...Wendy felt shy and flustered. This was the first time she'd WILLINGLY be naked in front of Dipper...

 _"What is wrong with you Corduroy?! You've walked through the house n*** scaring your brothers on a Saturday morning, gone skinny dipping with Tambry, you've showered in the high school locker room! It's just Dipper! The guy who jumped through time to not bean me in the eye with a baseball, Made Tambry's Summerween party a blowout, helped me remember my mother's makeup applying technique, comforts me when I cry..."_

Wendy then notices she's crying and frantically tries to steel herself as she goes into the next room she tries to distract herself by looking at a picture of a bear, "I guess I better go ahead and BEAR all-

"NO PUNS!" Screams Pacifica from the gift shop where Dipper is. Wendy frowns but walks in flustered to see an equally flustered Dipper staring back.

Before they can say anything-

The front door bell dings, signaling a customer!

"DIpper! You told me that you closed up the shop!" Hissed a mortified Paciifca.

"I DID!" Exclaimed Dipper in a panic.

Little did they know, that an oblivious Soos- who'd been sent home early by Pacifica -had seen the 'close' sign and door locked on his way out and had sought to 'help' by letting the customers in before leaving...

Dipper looked between the two naked girls, the customers were coming fast and the girls had nowhere to hide! He needed to think fast!

And then Dipper got an idea...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	238. A pig or a friend? 19: RasenganFin

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

RasenganFin: see right now, enjoy

The Howling Behemoth: 1. answered on PM. 2. And more you'll get!

Gamelover41592: see for yourself!

...III...

 **Who wants a lamby? Lamby?**

Sings a mortified Dipper in full Lamby garb(he- reluctantly - kept one nearby in case Wendy was ever in trouble again).

 **WE DO! WE DO!**

Shouts the crazed tourists as they descend into a frenzy over the 'cutie'...

Wendy and Pacifica have to fight their tears as they scramble up the ladder to the roof without being seen...leaving Dipper alone with those jackals...but this was his plan...and they would honor his sacrifice...by running their naked butts out of there!

They quickly make their way down from the roof and hide in the nearby bushes...

 **KIWA!**

 **RIP!**

 **GAH!**

 **TEAR!**

 **COME HERE CUTIE!**

 **HELP!**

Just in time to see a cloud of shredded clothing to fly out an open window...followed by a naked Dipper. He frantically runs away covering his privates, "There hands were EVERYWHERE!" He groans outloud.

The girls were quick to offer their sympathy...and a way out. Soos had of course left for his cousins wedding over the weekend and left his truck behind. So they decide to 'borrow' it and drive to a secluded part of the lake and wait until nightfall before coming back to the Shack...

"Psst! Wendy...has it occurred to you that we've only ever seen Dipper...'soft'?" She whispers playfully. Wendy smirks... "What do you have in mind?"

"Let's make a bet...the one of us who gets Dipper to "come to attention" wins...loser has to do chores for a week!" "Your on."

Now Wendy of course drives Soos's truck well, she doesn't want to upset him. " _With his birthday coming up, I can't let him come back from his cousins wedding to a damaged truck. That'd be too much for him."_ She thinks to herself. But the road is still bumpy and what with the girls having no bras...it makes for a very interesting show for Dipper.

 _"Stay calm, stay calm...unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts! Grunkle Stan's chest hair! Soo's bending over! Mable coming out of the shower! (shudder) Okay, too far with that last one!"_

Staying calm becomes even harder when the girls juicy fruits that when bitten into more often than not dribble juice on their chests. And of course Dipper doesn't eat anything cause he keeps giving the fruit to the girls to see glistening juices on their... you know.

Needless to say Dipper is quick to jump into the cold lake when they get there...

Both girls curse at this, "Want me to stack the odds against him?" Says Pacifica with a smirk as she brings out a bottle of pills..

Wendy nods as Pacifica slips several pills into a soda and gives it to an oblivious Dipper who drinks it happily...

The girls then dive in after him...

Neither notice the eye's...the eye's in the deep blue lake...watching them..savoring them...coming toward them...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	239. Behind the scenes: the WHY of the Hate

**BEHIND THE SCENES: The WHY behind all the Mable HATE**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

Slenderman watched from the comfort of his Mable-skin chair as thousands of monitors as millions of alternate Mable's either died gruesome death or was forcibly separated from Dipper forever...

"Your probably wondering how it all came to this." Said Slenderman to the reader, he (somehow) eats some Mable eyeballs from a bowl as he turns the chair around to face them.

"How I; Slenderman came to despise one fictional little girl." He walks past several Mable's who had either been stuffed and mounted, or had their heads mounted over the fireplace...the fear and of their final moments still apparent.

"Well, although I have my issues with her...but mostly I do what I do on behalf of one of my followers, channeling his emotions and what not. One Dakota Umlauf to be precise...although you probably know him better as 'The Cowardly Christian."

He (somehow) rolls his eye's, "Right that's not a terrible name at all...in any case I'm sure your now wondering; "Okay, so what's his beef with Mable then?"

Slenderman pauses as he observes an aquarium filled with monster fish and the bones of dozens of Mable's, "Let me answer that question with a question: What will become of Mable and Dipper after they leave Gravity Falls? What's adult life going to look for them?"

He pulls up a tabloid rags and pretends to observe it, "We'll if you believe Alex Hirsch it's either going to be fashion, trying to prove that the stuff in Gravity Falls really happened, or animating cartoons...but the best knowledge for such things come from real life experience...and that's were my insufferable follower comes in."

Slenderman throws some darts at some Mable skulls...

"See in his family are two people that remind him SO much of Mable and Dipper- mostly their type of relationship -it's scary. Now I know what your thinking: 'Oh, wow! Awesome! Fun time to be had be all!'...

Slenderman (somehow) glares at the reader, "Except NOT."

He sits down once more.

"For the sake of convenience and to protect the innocent we'll simply refer to them as RL(Real Life) Mable and RL(Real Life) Dipper. Also we'll be referring them as he/she etc to further hide their identities. Anyway basically, RL Mable twisted and abused RL Dipper's loving nature and his/her love for her/him to get whatever he/she wanted."

Slenderman shook his head, "Apparently, RL Mable is the reason Dakota and his branch of the family aren't allowed to have thanksgiving with his grandma anymore...no seriously that happened...and all because his grandma wouldn't spoil RL Mable as a child."

Slenderman just sighs as he drinks some tea to clam his nerves, "Apparently RL Dipper technically owns his grandma's house and gave into RL Mable's demands...again...it was a whole bloody mess, trust me you don't want me to get into it."

"But hold to your hats, it gets worse! Even as an adult, RL Mable still treated RL Dipper as a servant! Making him/her get him/her groceries and anything else he/she wanted! EVERYDAY! Bear in mind, RL Mable is an adult at this point! And yet RL Dipper...bless his/her heart...still loved him/her...and seemingly always will...she/he is nice like that.

And then...Slenderman gets a haunted look...

And now...now RL Dipper...he's/she's not doing so well...I'm talking tubes in his/her nose and not even having the strength to leave the house...no one's saying anything...but it's obvious that RL Dipper is not far from this world..."

And then Slenderman gets up, "And where is RL Mable, you may ask? Is she/he by his/her side of the person who gave so much and asked for little in return? NO!"

His voice shakes several walls down.

"Apparently he/she doesn't have the time! It's all up to Dakota and his Grandma to keep RL Dipper stable and to help easy him/her to...to the end."

"Learn from this people. The Gravity Falls moral: 'Love your family no matter what'...it looks good on paper and after school specials...but taken to extremes it can be abused and distorted like any other well-meaning idea...And Dear Dakota has seen first hand how it can ruin a person. No, no. there's no happy ending there. Not for RL Dipper or the fictional Dipper you lot know and love."

Slenderman reaches into a sack and pulls out a Mable corpse that's been hollowed out and uses it like a dummy to talk to the audience, "So whenever you see me killing or ruining Mable's life...remember that it's actually RL Mable my anger mostly goes to- I say mostly because Mable ain't really a saint either, there's a reason why RL Mable reminds him and me of her after all."

He tosses the corpse away, "But in all seriousness pray for RL Dipp- Actually, you know what? I'm not doing this anymore. PRAY FOR BEVERLEY RIEBOLD...God bless her soul. AHMEN."

And without another word...the candle goes out...and the scene falls to darkness...

…III...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: The above events really did happen, please pray for my sweet Aunty Bev...she deserved better then what she got. AHMEN**

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	240. The Villian Exchange Program

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

Gamelover41592: Thank you

Zoryan El Muerto: 1. Hence why I didn't care for the ending of Gravity Falls(I liked most of it just to be clear, just not the part where Mable gets what she wants at Dipper's expense) 2. Thank you.

RasenganFin: (shrug) Real life happens, what more can I say?

The Howling Behemoth: thank you

Guest: Thank you

Wicked.A: 1. Nope but I'll give you a hint: what type of creature is always around in Japanese anime when naked girls are near? 2. It's all good, also thank you.

...III...

 **LADIES AND GENTLEMAN!**

 **WELCOME TO THE 'VILLAIN EXCHANGE PROGRAM'!**

 **STARING YOUR HOST; SLENDERMAN!**

Slenderman enters the room to thunderous applause from an audience...held at gunpoint.

 **"Thank you random, unseen announcer voice! Great job! As payment** **, your family will live to see tomorrow!"** Slenderman waves as the announcer thanks him, he walks over to a large roulette wheel and a bunch of monitors center stage.

 **"Welcome Ladies and Gentleman to your favorite- or at least my latest favorite show I force you to watch anyway -show; VILLAIN EXCHANGE PROGRAM! The show where we randomly take a villain from a 'lighter and softer' universe and replace them with a 'darker and edgier' for my amusement!"**

He activates a nearby monitor and shows a land filled with rainbows, talking ponies and magic. **"Today's target is the 'magical' land of Equestria! A land of joy and love where everyone learns about and celebrates the magic of FRIENDSHIP-** (somehow) points to his throat and retches - **However, despite the sappiness it actually dose go on to be rather interesting...if a bit simplistic and naive at times. The now traditional end of season 'villain fight' of course being an all around favorite for most."**

Slenderman (somehow) smirks to the audience, **"That being said, I think we can do better."**

He begins to click through a bunch of channels on many of the monitor, **"Let's see- no, no, Bureau verse, no, no, MALE mane six verse, no, no, nope, world where Sunset becomes element of magic, no, nope, Flufflepuff verse- AH! Here we go! A universe that's in the middle of the first episode and about to see the return of Nightmare Moon! Or at least...that WAS what was going to happen."**

Slenderman laughs as he walks to the big roulette wheel covered in villains and gives it a spin-

Meanwhile, the monitor show's the town hall meeting as Mayor Mare is about to introduce 'Celestia'.

 _"In just a few moments, our town will witness the magic of the sunrise, and celebrate this, the longest day of the year-_

-The wheel slows down...

 _-And now, it is my great honor to introduce to you the ruler of our land, the very pony who gives us the sun and the moon each and every day-_

-The wheel stops... Slenderman (somehow) smirks at where it lands, **"Excellent choice."**

 _-the good, the wise, the bringer of harmony to all of Equestria-_

Slenderman snaps his fingers-

 _-Princess Celestia!"_

And just like that...EVERYTHING changed.

...

Ruben Victoriano(AKA Ruvik)...was confused. This was not a feeling he was used to or even cared for. Somewhat understandable considering the last two times he was in a situation with no control lead with hi sisters horrific demise and his mind being ripped from his body.

But this..this was different, one moment he was trapped in STEM experimenting on 'subjects' as was the norm...and now...NOW HE WAS FREE! NOW HE WAS FLESH! For the first time in so long Ruvik could feel air in his lungs, wind on his face, the blood pumping through his heart...

And then Ruvik realized he was not alone. His first instinct was wondering if he was still in fact in the STEM...but no, it seemed he REALLY was surrounded by multi-colored equestrian-like creatures exhibiting signs of at least average human intelligence.

And...he could sense them! Their fears, their anxieties, their doubts, their wants, their cravings! Just like if he were still in STEM! In fact...yes...RUVIK could sense that despite no longer being in STEM...despite being flesh again...he still had his powers...in fact...if he was understanding things correctly...he might actually have MORE-

And then one of the creatures build up their courage and walked toward him. "Uh, excuse me? My good...sir?"(she says that last part uncertain) Mayor Mare like most of the ponies here was greatly scared of this newcomer, his appearance was unnerving enough as it was. But...his PRESENCE, his very existence, everything about him...it just felt WRONG. And the way he was looking at all of them...it was like...looking into TARTERUS itself...except somehow WORSE!

"Uh...do you think you could...tell us who you are? More importantly...have you seen our Princess?"

Ruvik says nothing, eager to test his new 'limits' in this strange new reality he immediately teleports to her in the blink of an eye. Before the poor pony can respond, Ruvik creates a blade out of thin air and slices of her head.

There was a stunned silence as the head of their beloved Mayor rolled down the steps, spraying some with blood as it did. The ponies...so used to their PG rated world...just stood baffled, the very concept of what just happened...almost impossible to comprehend.

Twilight, was the first to come to her senses-

 **RUN FOR YOUR EVER-LOVING LIVES!**

The ponies didn't need to be told twice...

Ruvik smiles as the ponies begin to panic and run. He understood now...not only was he no longer a prisoner of STEM...he WAS STEM. All of his reality shaping powers...he could now do for REAL...

Twilight Sparkle meanwhile; "WHAT THE BUCK JUST HAPPENED HERE!?"

...

 **"Well, that escalated fast! ...which just happens to be my favorite type of escalation!"** He then turns back to the audience, **"And yes, I did give Ruvik his body back and allow him to retain the powers he held in STEM...plus a few upgrades. A bit OP I know, I guess I could have just given him ONLY a physical body and let him slink away to make mischief another day...but where's the fun in that?"**

 **"Besides, no big bad boss fight the first episode means no friendship quest for Twilight Sparkle! Not to mention no Mane six! And we can't have that can we?"**

Then Slenderman turns to another monitor, **"But enough about that! Let's take a look at nightmare Moon and see how she's 'adapting to her new surroundings."**

...

"What the devil!?" Shouts Nightmare Moon as she looks around the hellish landscape she suddenly found herself in...

...

The administrator looked at the screen baffled, "What...what am I looking at here?"

Doctor Marcelo Jimenez was equally baffled as he stared at the readout for the Beacon Mental Hospital STEM. "I...I have no idea! But Ruvik...Ruvik is gone! There's not a trace of him! Even his brain is missing!"

"Wait, how is the STEM still functioning then? Without the CORE it should be collapsing, shouldn't it?" Asked the Administrator trying to cover up his fear of Ruvik being on the loose.

"I...I don't know how it happened...but that...THING- points to Nightmare Moon on the monitor -is now the new CORE!"

The administrator frowned, "The STEM...switched to a new CORE on it's on? How is that possible?!"

"IT'S NOT! For all intents and purposes there is no way for ANYTHING to switch the program to a new CORE without collapsing the STEM instantly. They would LITERALLY need to start a new STEM from scratch to even get started! WORSE, it seems like we have no control of this new CORE whatsoever!"

The administrator frowns at that, "But...it DID happen...so what dose that mean?" This was starting to become a huge mess, his superiors would NOT be happy about this...

Doctor Marcelo Jimenez just looked at the screen confused to an equally confused corrupted pony princess, "I...I don't know..."

...

 **"But I know! Coming up next episode! Were going to slow down and sit down two trickster demons for a chat! He'll break your heart, rearrange your face and make you buy gold: BILL CIPHER! Then- what is he? A dragon? A chicken? A goat? A lion? Whatever! It's DISCORD! All this- including a 'fig leaf excuse' to put this under the Gravity Falls crossover category -and more coming up next time!...and now a word from our sponsor."**

...

 **Hello friend, how many times has this happened to you?**

(switches to scene of morbidly obese fat guy doing things at the computer and begins to read que cards off-screen in a monotone voice.)

"Uh...what is this frak? You made a fanfiction crossover...but you made all the crossover characters...boing?(click) BORING! I meant boring! Made them all boring background characters that don't interfere or effect the plot in any meaningful way? Why even make a fanfiction at all then? If I wanted...Cannon?(click) Yes! Cannon! If I wanted 'cannon' I would've just watched it on TV like other snobs- (click) SLOBS! I MEANT-

 **BANG!**

Guy has his head blown off...and is then replaced by a small skinny guy. "Oh! Uh...there must be a better way?" He asks in a frightful manner.

 **"FEAR NOT BILLY! MAKE ALL THOSE BORING FANFICTION WRITERS A THING OF THE PAST! WITH OUR NEW PREDATOR DRONES!**

 **THESE DRONES ARE STATE OF THE ART! THEY WILL TRACK ANY FANFICTION WRITER YOU WANT AND THREATEN THEM UNTIL THEY WRITE THE STORY BETTER!**

 **AND CALL NOW AND YOU'LL GET YOUR CHOICE OF THREE NEW FLAVORS!**

 **LEMON 'I'll murder your family if you don't do as I ask'.**

 **STRAWBERRY 'I'll break your thumbs and make you cut your hair with a knife!'**

 **And our new favorite.**

 **Chocolate 'One way Cthulhu brain burner!'**

 **Order now in the 30 minutes and we'll murder your family for free!**

"Thank you unseen announcer! You changed my life...okay, can I go home now?"

 **BANG!**

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: More Gravity Falls in the next chapter of this story, I swear.**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	241. A pig or a friend? 20: RasenganFin

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

(I apologize forgetting some of your comments before the 'why of Mable hate' chapter, correcting that now)

RasenganFin: 1. Eh, I'll try to work that in somehow 2. Eh, I'm starting a new account on fimfiction and I need to fill it up...so yes, I guess I am.

Gamelover41592: thank you.

The Howling Behemoth: Rasenagen is clearly a wendip shipper...but maybe, just maybe I can do something.

...III...

Dipper groaned, both girls were playing volleyball...and seeing them 'bounce'...it was causing...'problems'. _"Oh, this is bad! I've managed to keep myself at half chub whenever things get out of hand in the past but this time the only thing that seems to keep me from 'maximum hardness' is the cold water I'm submersed in!"_ _  
_

Dipper's mind races as he drinks another one of the drinks that Pacifica keeps slipping him, it was the only thing keeping him calm...

Pacifica glares, _"Stupid cold water! All that extra-strength Viagra I'm slipping him should have kicked in by now!"_ Annoyed, she decides to kick things into high-gear.

She saunters up to him, making sure her chest is exposed and dripping, "Hey Dipper, whatcha doing?" She says in the most innocent way possible.

"Certainly not thinking about my genitals! Absolutely not about that!" Sputters a flustered Dipper. Pacifica giggled, but pressed into him more, "That's too bad...because I am."

Dipper gulped.

Wendy glared and started to march forward, _"That little, no way am I going to lose-_

And then she trips over something in the water-

 **SPLASH!**

 **THUD!**

 **GAH!**

Wendy groans as her butt hurts where it landed, she looks around confused. "Where's Dipper?" "He's been rear ended." Said Pacifica with a smirk.

a panicked Wendy quickly realizes she's sitting a on a quickly drowning Dipper's face! Quickly she drags him up and out of the water and gives him CPR, Dipper slowly wakes up..and seeing his nude crush make out with him, plus the dozen pills in his system and the fact he's no longer has the cold water for cover-

 **SPROING!**

"Totally worth losing the bet, just to see that." Said a flustered and...lustful Pacifica.

''Holy Salmon! He's huge!'' Shouts Wendy amazed/excited/embarrassed...curious?

Indeed they wouldn't know until later...but Pacifica had gotten those Viagra pills from a gnome in the woods, their magical properties plus the fact he ate so much of them in addition to being under such 'pressure'... caused his loins to expand to a foot long!

Dipper was too stunned by this sudden development to even be embarrassed! He could only lay on the ground in stunned silence...

 **ROAR!**

 **GAH!**

The girls screamed as while their guard was down a monstrous octopus grabbed them and dragged them back into the water!

 **DIPPER HELP!**

That snapped Dipper out of it! He ran to the rescue-

 **GAH!**

Only to immediately trip over his now elongated genitals, _"Naked girls, octopus monsters, and freakishly long 'stuff'...who in their right mind decided to make my life some mediocre Japanese porn?"_ Thinks Dipper annoyed as he tries to get up again, his friends thrashing in the tenticals, screaming for help...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	242. A pig or a friend? 21: RasenganFin

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

Wicked.A: Fixed it

RasenganFin: I did something like that, enjoy!

...III...

Wendy and Pacifica screamed as they struggled against the tenticals, "For the love of- What is with pervy octopus and groping cute girls!?"

Suddenly the octopus stopped growling, put on a monocle and top hat, and spoke in a British accent, "Actually, there's nothing perverse about it. Although I'm quite sure you both are attractive by human 'standards- he says that last bit with a sarcastic scoff -You do nothing for me. No, the correlation between my kinds attack of female's who are sans clothing is far more pedestrian. Human male genitals are disgustingly salty, and your clothes get caught in our teeth. Hence the preference you see before you today."

Wendy and Pacifica just gaped in disbelief.

"Right, so where were we? ...Ah, yes- ROOOAAAAR!

"EEEEEEEK" Screamed both girls as it lunged at them again-

 **ZAP!**

Suddenly the beast was much smaller, "Yum, sushi." Said Pacifica as she quickly ate it in one gulp.

They looked over to Dipper who was holding up a weird stone, "Thankfully the shrink stone area was nearby!" He shouts exhausted.

"Shrink stone?" Asked Pacifica.

Wendy quickly explains how Dipper briefly toyed with the notion of using a stone to increase his height after Mable teased him- but forgot about it after Wendy yelled at Mable for being an ungrateful jerk, hurting Dipper with something she KNEW hurt his feelings despite risking his life to save her ungrateful but most of the summer! And made Dipper feel better...

She stopped near the end when she saw how exhausted and still erect Dipper was...

"Uh, Pacifica? How much of that Viagra did you give him?"

Dipper then falls on his back unconscious and still flying 'full mast', "Uh...five bottles worth?" She stated uneasily.

Wendy sighed and called her dad and tell him that Dipper passed out having an excuse to stay with him, not mentioning that she's naked... and he's got an impressive manhood.

sadly...

"Oh, come on!" Shouts Wendy. Apparently one of the stray tentecal swipes hit the truck, snaping the fuel line, causing the gas to leak out.

Which left two naked, shivering girls to carry their naked- and still erect -friend home...through the dark woods and town-

 **ZAP!**

PACIFICA! That's not helping!" Shouts Wendy as Pacifica uses the stone to make Dipper's junk a bit larger...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	243. Wendy the Cougar

**Wendy the Cougar**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

RasenganFin: I might just do that

Gamelover41592: thank you

Wicked.A: so it would seem

...III...

It was a calm day in Gravity Falls...

 **ZAP!**

And then it wasn't. Slenderman looked at his watch, **"Let's see...a month before the twins arrive...yes, that should do nicely. Ah! There's our leading lady now!"**

Wendy corduroy was drinking booze with her friends, bored to tears. "GUH! Will Summer vacation never come! Summer's maybe a snore-fest around here but at least they don't have teacher's yelling at us!"

Her friends agreed..then slenderman froze time. **"Time to make a pest of myself,"** Said the eldritch abomination with a smile as he slipped a potion into Wendy's drink.

 **"Time in!"** Wendy finishes her drink.

"I love this fire hydrant!" Shouts Gordy nearby as he takes off his shirt to play in the leaking hydrant mess, Wedny briefly looks at him...and is stunned!

 **...(Barry White - Never Never Gonna Give You Up)...**

Everything about him, every prepubescent bit of skin flexing in the breeze, every droplet of water cascading into every crevice of his young body...made her body burn!

 **...(music ends abruptly)...**

"Okay, I'm done for the day." Says a flustered Wendy as she pours out the remainder of her booze and hurries home. Unseen to all, Slenderman cackles...

 **...A month later...**

Wendy took deep breaths as she settled into her new job. The last month had been...difficult, for the life of her she couldn't grasp what was happening...was this...was this some crazy aspect of puberty only now kicking in or something?

Well it didn't matter, the Mystery Shack was isolated, and her boss Stan didn't seem really interested in dealing with kids so she was sure she could keep cool-

"Wendy! Soos! I want to introduce my niece and nephew! They'll be staying fro the summer!"

Wendy blushed, from his tight little shorts that were begging to be ripped off to his prepubescent, hairless chin...this new 12-year old boy was SEXY.

 _"...I am SOOOO Boned..."_ She groaned to herself...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: the song is** ' **Never Never Gonna Give You Up' by '** ** **Barry White'.****

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	244. Alicorn Genesis 5

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

The Howling Behemoth: 1. what rival? 2. Go ahead, take it. 3. The Summer's still young, thank you

...III...

It had been a LONG night for Twilight, she'd mainly locked herself in the airship and had a good cry. When she'd finally calmed down she made sure the museum would be compensated for the damage and sent Spike a message to bring the newly ascended alicorn prince to the airship..and her.

She quickly apologized to him for acting inappropriate toward him and leaving him like that. She promised to be more professional toward him from this point out.

Dipper tries to speak-

"-And now if you'll talk to Spike I'm sure he can get in contact with your family to make arrangements. But for now it's imperative you stay with me and get trained, is that okay with you?" Said Twilight cutting him off.

Dipper blushed at the 'stay with me' part but quickly said, "Uh, yes- yeah! That's okay. But I really think we should tal-

"Good, then get some rest. We have a big day ahead of us!" Said Twilight cutting him off again and trotting back to her room before Dipper could say anything else.

"Uh, okay. But I just need to-

She slammed the door behind her and was gone.

Dipper sighed, that hadn't gone like he'd hopped but he was still confident he could make this work! His favorite princess had literally taken him under her wing! That had to be a good sign...right?

He shook his head, he'd worry about that later. Right now he had more pressing issues! He turns to Spike, "Okay when she gets up could you give her this?" He gives him the snake talisman.

"Also this." He gives him a 500 page essay on the talismans.

"This too." And 1000 page thesis on the 'dark hand' organization; including color coded hypotheses on WHY they want the talismans.

"And this." Spike struggles as he's also given a several thousand pages of copied source material on possible locations on the other talismans all organized by size, shape, color, date, author name, and author's shoe size.

"Don't forget this." Spike could feel his legs nearly give way as he was given a dozen itineraries each filled with dozens of different possible meticulously detailed schedules of numerous different ways of getting the talismans.

"Sorry their so short, I was in a hurry when I wrote them." Admitted Dipper as he went to his assigned room.

Spike promptly collapsed under the weight of everything, "Great...now there's TWO of them." He groaned.

...The next morning...

Spike ended up watching his adopted mother in all but name squeal non-stop in delight over all the organized lists!

"This is amazing! I've never met someone who loves meticulous organization as much as me! I never thought I'd ever meet such a kindred spirit-

And just like that the excitement died out as she realized what she was saying, she blushed but quickly composed herself. "Er, right. This information is VERY important. I'll have to give it to Princess Celestia and the other girls. Spike set up a conference!"

Spike gives her a weird look but dose as she asks...

Using a bunch of specially made magic mirrors, the various Alicorn were quick to give their progress reports.

Most of them hadn't gotten to their destinations yet- Rainbow would be at Cloudsdale tomorrow, but other then that the only noteworthy thing for the others to report was Pinkie parachuting hundreds of cupcakes and streamers on every town she passed over.

"Just because Equestria's about to end, doesn't mean there still can't be parties!" She affirms.

Celestia and Luna tell them that the guest are starting to arrive at the castle, but they hadn't had the opportunity to 'talk' to any yet.

So then it was Twilight's turn.

She quickly gave a run down about Dipper's ascension- leaving out all the 'unimportant' bit's of course -as well as the talismans power's- she demonstrates the snakes invisibility -and how this 'dark hand' was hunting for them.

"As it happens...the places Dipper feels that the rest of the talisman 'might' be, correspond with Slendermans 'suggestion's' perfectly...so naturally this all must be connected with whatever he's planning."

Celestia nods, "You have my permission to proceed in this, the last we need is another threat popping up right now."

Twilight nod's and just when it looks like the meeting must be over-

"Hey, Twilight...I can't help but notice that you skimped out on the details about the kid's ascension." Said Rainbow Dash with a smirk.

Twilight stiffened.

"Oh, yes darling I couldn't help but notice that too...are you sure that nothing else happened?" She asked in an equally smug manner.

"Yes, absolutely nothing of importance happened!" Said Twilight firmly, not technically a lie...'importance' was relative after all...

Celestia giggled, "Nothing important? My, my. I hope your new 'Beau' doesn't hear that." She says as she brings up the morning paper-

 **Twilight Sparkle will make a STALLION out of you! ...and an alicorn!**

Twilight went very pale at the sight of the front-page picture of her making out with Dipper Pines after he ascended...

"Oh, no." She groaned.

"Oh, YES." Said Rainbow with a predatory grin.

"I must say Twilight, I never would've taken you for a cougar...I guess what they say about the 'quiet one's' is true." Said Rarity.

"So come on 'Mrs. Robinson'! Dish the dirt! When did you decide to get into cradle-robbing?" Asked Rainbow Dash.

Twilight blushed, "No! It's not like that! He was wearing the illusion of a hot teenage ford Pines! I-

She went even redder in the face realizing what she just revealed, leading to another bout of laughter from her friends, her mentor, and Luna.

Finally- after many agonizing minutes -Celestia calmed everyone down and returned to business.

"Fortunately, the more sensationalist of ponies seem to simply think you have the power to turn stallions into alicorns and other ponies have bought into this gossip. Thus are mission remains a secret." Stated Celestia.

"The amount of Stallions asking for your hand as well as mothers asking you to 'bless' their colts has skyrocketed however." Added Luna with a chuckle.

Twilight further groaned as her reputation continued to go up in flames.

Applejack coughed, "Okay, fun's fun...but in all seriousness I hope you sat that colt down afterward and explained how obviously nothing can happen between the two of you."

Before Twilight can say anything-

"Never mind that now! When do we get to meet the little darling?" Asked Rarity excited.

Twilight, thankful for the interruption. Quickly agreed before Applejack could ask anything else.

...

Dipper Pines gulped as he was summoned before the now numerous Princesses. He was extremely nervous...and not just for the reasons you'd think!

Dipper Pines nervously looked over his notes to make sure he hadn't forgotten anything, _"This is nuts...am I really doing this? Maybe I should just leave we'll enough alone...no...somethings just need to be said, no matter how unpleasant...more importantly...your doing this for princess Twilight!"_

That last thought steeling his resolve...he cautiously walks into the rooms. Naturally the first thing that happens is to be gushed over.

"Oh, my! Well aren't you adorable!" Cooed Rarity.

Dipper blushed at that, but desperately tried to keep his composure for what he was about to do...

"My dear child, where do you hail from? Tell us about yourself." Asked Celestia with a warm, motherly smile. Dipper stiffened briefly under the gaze of the 'mother' of all Equestria, but started talking awkwardly.

"Um...well, I hail from a little, rinky-dink town called 'Gravity Falls'...don't bother looking for it on any map, it's so small and out of the way that most cartographer's don't even bother acknowledging it. I...live with my two great uncles, I'm a quadruplet with two brothers...and one sister."

Luna and Celestia frowned at that last hesitation as well as the dark glint in his eyes when mentioning his sister...but said nothing...

"Do you think your uncles will be okay with you staying with Twilight for the foreseeable future?" Asked Celestia.

Once again the concept of 'staying with Twilight' made Dipper fluster...and feel more then a little awkward and sweaty. He coughed to hide this, "Uh...Yes, yeah. I think they'd be cool with that...provided they know where I am."

Twilight sighed, "I sent a message but they still haven't called back." She admitted.

Celestia shook her head, "I'd prefer to have their immediate consent... but we're simply too pressed for time at the moment, especially considering the latest intel sent from the squads watching the HEPHAESTUS facility..."

She quickly gives a rundown on how said facility had been observed shooting strange canisters across Equestria. "All means of tracking them have proven useless, Luna will be sent out to head the search while I stay here to ferret out potential Alicorn candidates."

While they discussed things...Dipper's mind was in conflict. _"This...this is huge! All of Equestria is in trouble...again. Maybe...maybe I should just let this go? They seem to have far more important things to worry about right now...no, no. This needs to be said! If someone had just stepped forward and confronted me earlier about Mable...no, this has to happen! For Twilight's sake!"_

"Well, I think we've said all that can be said on the matter. We'll convene again after Rainbow Dash touches down in Cloudsdale. I wish the rest of you-

"Wait! There's something I need to say." Said Dipper suddenly.

Everyone turned to Dipper surprised, "Um, alright then. Let's hear it." Said Twilight confused.

Dipper took a deep breath and turned to the mane 6(minus Twilight), "Um...Princesses Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie. First and foremost I just want to say that Equestria owes you all a great debt of gratitude for saving them as often as you have."

"Why thank you Sugarcube." Offered Applejack happily.

"Right...well, that being said...I can't help but feel that- Whatever he said next no one could hear as the nervous colts volume had dialed down to 'inaudible mumbling'.

"Uh, could you repeat that darling?" Asked Rarity confused.

"..." Mumbled Dipper again, his perspiration really going at it now.

"Um, Dipper? Even I can't hear you and that's saying something." Admitted Fluttershy.

Dipper again tried to speak up, and AGAIN all that came out was, "...-

"GAH! Will you just speak up already?!" Shouted Rainbow Dash annoyed.

"I THINK YOUR TAKING YOUR FRIENDSHIP WITH PRINCESS TWILIGHT FOR GRANTED!" He shouted in a panic.

...there was deathly silence.

Everyone just gaped in horrified disbelief.

Rarity was first to give an indignant response. "Excuse m-

"At the wedding, you guys just ABANDONED Twilight! Even after everything she'd done for all of you! Non-stop helping all of you and never asking anything for herself!"

Everyone just gaped in horror, "Wha-

"YOU TWO!" Dipper points at Pinkie Pie and Applejack. "Us?" Asked Pinkie Pie pointing a hoof to herself reluctantly.

"Applejack claimed to have learned 'never dismiss another friends concerns' during the 'Smartypants incident' and Pinkie Pie claimed to never assume the worst about friends during the 'party of one' incident! WHERE WERE THOSE FRIENDSHIP LESSONS DURING THE WEDDING AND TWILIGHT WAS SOBBING AND TRAPPED UNDERGROUND!? DID ANYONE EVEN BOTHER TO CHECK TO SEE IF SHE WAS ALRIGHT?! SHE COULD'VE DIED! ALL BECAUSE HER FRIENDS VALUED A WEDDING OVER HER HAPPINESS!"

Many of the Princesses were crying now.

"And the worse thing? Aside from Applejack- NONE OF YOU EVEN SAID YOU WERE SORRY!"

"What!? Of course we did!...I think we did...didn't we?" Asked Rainbow Dash sounding increasingly unsure...

Dipper took a deep breath and then turned to a very distraught and confused Twilight.

"Twilight...I know that you think just forgiving them and hoping they've learned their lesson will let you keep the friendship's that are so important to you alive and well...but it won't. Your problems will just fester...like it did between me and my sister Mable."

Dipper was starting to cry at this point.

"I was terrible at making friends...for most of my life my siblings were my only friends. But none more so then Mable, we were inseparable and we loved each other more then anyone..."

"...But as great as that sounds...it wasn't, I would constantly sacrifice my needs for hers. Constantly shield her from the consequences of her actions...and ask nothing in return...I enabled her..."

"And when I had this great opportunity to live out my dream...she freaked out because it would mean I'd be away from her for the first time in our lives...and she..."

Dipper was sobbing even faster now.

"...She did something horrible to keep us together...and people...people got HURT...our relationship wasn't healthy, and it was decided we needed to be separated...it's been over a year since I've seen Mable...and it'll probably be many years more...I can no longer love her...not after the 'Dippy fresh' incident...and I don't want that to happen to you Princess Twilight...your my favorite princess and you deserve so much more..."

There was a silence...broken only by Twilight walking over...and hugging the sobbing little colt. "Thank you." She whispered.

Taking their cue...the other princesses shut off their mirrors...and left these two in privacy...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	245. A pig or a friend? 22: RasenganFin

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

Gamelover41592: Thank you

...III...

Fortunately, it was almost night so the streets were mostly deserted as they carried Dipper between them. They can'y help as he was now spread eagle with his still junk pointing upward as they lifted him by his arms and legs.

And Pacifica...not being able to help herself, keeps using the stone to make his 'size' increase whenever Wendy isn't looking.

 **ZAP!**

"Dang it Pacifica! Don't you get the more you do that, the harder it is to carry him!?" Shouts Wendy.

"And don't you get the more I do this, the more likely Dipper won't be able to wear pants anymore?" She points out with a mischievous grin.

"...Carry on." Said Wendy neutrally after a long, flustered silence.

There was one incident were someone drove close to them and asked for direction's...but fortunately the darkness concealed their nudity and passed off Dipper's junk as a flagpole.

...they almost burst out laughing when the guy saluted the 'flagpole' before driving away.

But other then that, they made it back to the Shack...only to find it locked.

"Well, that's just great!" Shouts an annoyed Pacifica as she and Wendy shiver in the cold night air.

Not having much choice...they cuddle with Dipper to share body warmth under a bush...

...

Wendy grumbles to herself half-way through the night. "Geez Dippers hunting knife is poking my butt... *Opens her eyes in panic* Dipper doesn't HAVE a Hunting knife." But before she can do anything sleep envelops her and she falls back into sleeps sweet embrace...

...

Dipper groans... "What happened?" He says out loud. Wendy, having already awoke, confesses about the bet, the magic Viagra pills, and Pacifica using the growth ray on him...repeatedly.

Dipper blushes at the situation...and his new 'endowment'.

"Well...at least no one will make fun of me in the locker room." He says out loud.

Pacifca- having just woke up -laughs, "Forget that, your film star quality now!"

Dipper smiled at that "Y'know since the carnival I've been figuratively beaten up 6 ways to Sunday, and one literal case... But it's all been worth it since I get to experience a lot of awesome things... " He smirks at Wendy and Pacifica's naked bodies...his junk once more going erect...

 **ROAR!**

Only for a wolf to jump out of the woods bite his manhood and then drag him into the woods, "STILL WORTH IT!" He screams in pain as Wendy and Pacifica chase after him...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	246. Freaky Friday- PONY STYLE!

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

RasenganFin: I might just do that, love it

Guest: I accept bribes in 'shake up the falls' chapters

NyaNyaKittyFace: Glad you enjoyed it.

...III...

Dipper Pines awoke-

"My dear Twilight, there is more to a young pony's life than studying-

Dipper's eye's widen...that voice, that speech...he'd recognize it anywhere! He turned around to see a lovable purple and green dragon!

-so I'm sending you to supervise the preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration in this year's location: Ponyville-

Dipper just looked at all this baffled...why would Spike be telling him this? He was supposed to be telling this to Twilight- And then he saw his HOOF

And, I have an even more essential task for you to complete: make some fri-

 **SQUEAL!**

Spike's eye's widened with confusion as Twilight squealed, "I"M TWILIGHT SPARKLE! I'M TWILIGHT SPARKLE!" Suddenly grabs Spike and shakes him excited, "I'M MOTHERBUCKING TWILIGHT SPARKLE! BEST DREAM EVER! BEST DREAM EVER! I'M SO GETTING LAID TONIGHT!"

"What, what, what!?" Shouted Spike confused.

'Twilight' jumped from the chariot the moment they landed, "Watch out Ponyville! Dipper Pines is on the prowl!" Shouted the normally shy boy, emboldened by the knowledge that as a dream he could do as he liked with no consequences!

Spike was just dazed, "Wha- Dipper who? Twilight, what about the Sunset celebration?"

"Forget that! Right now I'm getting myself a slice of Pinkie Pie!" Says 'Twilight' as he spots a certain lovable, sexy, pink puffball heading toward him.

Spike just gaped in horror, Twilight...Twilight disobeying a direct order from Celestia herself? Could...could the end of the world be far behind? Maybe Nightmare Moon really was-

And just like that...the thought left his head...all thoughts left his head when his adopted mother in all but name...just started making out with a random pink pony!

Pinkie Pie's whole face went flush with surprise and shock...but this mare was a surprisingly good kisser...so she rolled with it...

No one saw the semi-invisible black smoke that came from Dipper...and flooded Pinkie Pie...

All anyone saw was a strange new mare start making out with Pinkie Pie, roll with her on the ground...and...and not...not stop there...

It was truly hard for a very 'G' rated world to comprehend a very graphic sex scene occurring in public...

Spike in particular was torn between disgust...and arousal...

...

Applejack whistled a happy tune as she bucked apple trees, "If there's anything better then bucking apples in the morning I haven't seen it!"

"How about three juicy apple cutie marks on a sexy orange mares jucier flank?" Asked a voice behind her.

Applejack flushed as she started to turn around, "I beg your pard-"

 **CHOMP!**

Applejack blushed as she gave a surprised moan of pleasure as the purple mare took a bite of her flank. " _Wha- What's wrong with me? She- She's...I should be resisting this!"_

But she wouldn't, unseen to all the black mist continued to rob Applejack of her inhibitions, and making her more randy then a junebug rutting in July!...

...

The entire apple family had run outside, when Applebloom told them that Applejack was WRESTLING the Sunset Celebration representative...only to find...well...TECHNICALLY Applebloom had -sorta- told the truth.

"Wha- What's that purple mare doing to Applejack? It's...it's like she's trying to jump over her...but she can't quite make it?" Big Mac quickly covers her eyes.

"Yes, that's exactly what's happening, your so smart, off we go now!" Shouts a flustered Big Mac in an uncharacteristically speedy way.

He quickly lead his little sister away while he too tried very hard not to notice the 'spectacle' in front of him, _"I am NOT getting turned on by this. That is your SISTER you sicko! UNSEXY THOUGHTS!"_ Big mac repeated that mantra to himself frantically.

A horrified Auntie applesauce turns to an equally horrified Granny Smith, "Uh...I don't think I'm comfortable with my kin socializing with yours anymore." She admitted awkwardly.

"...Fair enough." Said Granny reluctantly.

...

 **BAM!**

 **SPLAT!**

Rainbow Dash chuckled nervously as she laid over the mare she'd just knocked into the mud. "Heh, Sorry." The purple mare smirked back, "Don't be." Before Rainbow Dash knows what's happening...she was entwined in limbs and making out!

..."There goes the neighborhood." Said Spoiled Rich as her husband frantically covered a giggling Diamond Tiara's eye's as the invisible smoke convinced a (semi)reluctant Rainbow Dash to 'go with it'...

...

"She's beautiful." Said Spike, as he gazed upon the vision of white and purple before him-

"Dang straight she is!" Shouted an excited Twilight/Dipper(?) as he moved in for the 'kill'.

Spike's eye's widen in horror, "What?! NO! Not her! Please! She's my special somepony! I KNOW IT!" He pleaded desperately. But Dipper wasn't listening, he was too randy. More importantly he believed this was all a dream and thus freed him of all consequences...

And so...Spike was forced to have a front row seat...of the shattering of his heart...

Spike's eye's watered over... "I HATE YOU!" Screamed Spike as he ran away sobbing.

The two lover's, deep in their -invisible smoke induced- passion...didn't notice a thing...

...

Fluttershy happily whistled as she got her birds in tune-

 **GO!**

 **SLAP!**

 **OH!**

Squeaked Fluttershy as sompony slaped her rear...repeatedly

 **GO!**

 **SLAP!**

 **OH!**

"I've been wanting to do this since 'Filli Vanilli!" Shouts Dipper as he enthusiastically smacked Fluttershy's sweet flank over and over again...

 **GO!**

 **SLAP!**

 **OH!**

 **GO!**

 **SLAP!**

 **OH!**

 **GO!**

 **SLAP!**

 **OH!**

 **GO!**

 **SLAP!**

 **OH!**

 **GO!**

 **SLAP!**

 **OH!**

 **GO!**

 **SLAP!**

 **OH!**

 **GO!**

 **SLAP!**

 **OH!**

 **GO!**

 **SLAP!**

 **OH!**

 **GO!**

 **SLAP!**

 **OH!**

 **GO!**

 **SLAP!**

 **OH!**

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The invisible smoke turned the cries of pain..into moans of pleasure. Eventually, Dipper got tired... well, of spanking anyway. "Want to have sex?"

Futtershy, her mind addled by the smoke...nodded...

...

Dipper whistled a happy tune, Not counting Twilight- Wait did it count? He was using her body after all...eh what the hey? It was his dream! Which meant he'd now slept with all six elements!

Annnd...if the episode goes the same way as in cannon, he smirks as he opens the door of the Golden Oak Library-

 **SURPRISE!**

Shouts Pinkie in front of a large group...conflicted mares.

"Why did we come here? Granny already tanned my hide for besmirching the Apple name!" Groans Applejack.

"You try and reason with Pinkie when it comes to parties!" Hissed Rarity back to her, still bemoaning how her reputation was now in tatters...

"Uh, yeah! Pinkie forced me to be here! That's why I'm here!" Said a nervous and flustered Rainbow Dash as she chuckled awkwardly.

Dipper smiled, "Hey Pinkie! Did you get what I asked for?"

Pinkie pulled a keg out of her mane, "Sure thing Dipper! Yog-sogoth was ecstatic about introducing booze to Equestria!...and putting peanut butter on my mane."

Dipper laughed, she was like a better Mable who didn't suck and was sexy instead of weird! Actually, frak Mable! Pinkie was Pinkie! AND PINKIE WAS AWESOME!

"LET THERE BE BOOZE!" Shouts dipper excitedly.

The many mare of Ponyville watched the clearly unstable and Randy Mare cautiously...but curious about this strange new drink she'd brought...they'd all had a taste...

Soon Dipper smiled as all the mares danced around tipsy in a comical fashion, well he was well rested-

 _"Wait, if this is a dream...why would I need to rest?"_ Thinks Dipper concerned...doubts starting to...

And then the smoke went into his head, "Wha? What was I thinking abou- Eh, forget it! Party time!"

He turns to everyone, "HEY GIRLS! WANT TO LEARN A NEW GAME?! I CALL IT ORGY!"

The drunken Mares clamored toward him in curiosity..

...hours later...

"Where is everyone!? The celebration will begin soon!" Shouts Mayor Mare as she looks all around Ponyville frantically, she couldn't have an empty town hall when the Princess showed up, imagine the scandal! She'd never see the inside of a political office again!

While she looked around in panic...she didn't notice the 'mare in the moon' vanish from the sky...and travel in a wisp of blue smoke, first to capture Celestia...and then to head toward the area she sense had the largest amount of ponies...

Nightmare Moon laughed in Triumph as she fully materialized into her physical form, "Ah, subjects! How wonderful to see all your happy. sun-loving- ASSES!?"

She screams that last bit in horrified surprise. All around her ponies! Ponies **** each other! While **** and *** when **** as well as **** *****************************************************************************************************!

"By FAUST! Has my sisters rule degenerated to debauchery and anarchy!?" She shouted aghast.

"Hey! Hey everyone! (hic) Is-It's prin- (hic) Prinny- Princess best pony!" Nightmare Moon turns around to see the apparent source of the depravity, a purple Unicorn?

"Hey- Hey! You! You sexy, you know that?! You gotta nice flank!" Shouted Dipper as he stumbled drunkly toward the corrupted alicorn. Nightmare Moon went rather Red, but quickly composed herself.

"YOU! Subject! Have you taken leave of your dignity! What is the meaning of this depraved gathering!"

"We- we celebrating you! Silly! It's yo- you's party!" Shouted Dipper!

"HAPPY RETURN FROM THE MOON YOUR MAJESTY!" Shouted Pinkie Pie as she Jumps from Dipper's mane with a large cake titled: WELCOME BACK PRINCESS LUNA, WE MISSED YOU. THANKS FOR THE NIGHT!"

Nightmare Moon...was overwhelmed. "You...you threw a party? For me?" She brushes a tear from her eye with her wing. "This- this is amazing! No one's ever done this for me before! I-I don't know what to say!"

"Sa-say you'll have sex with me!" Shouts the increasingly tipsy Dipper.

"...okay."

...later...

Celestia was ecstatic! She could sense it! Her sister's corruption was gone! She could sense it! And her prison was weakening! She knew it! she knew Twilight wouldn't fail her!

She quickly appears where she senses her sister's presence, "Twilight Sparkle, I knew I could- BY HASBRO WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY BABY SISTER!?"

Screams Celestia as she beholds her apprentice fet-lock deep inside her now uncorrupted little sister Luna, who was screaming for 'more'.

Annnnd that's when Twilight Sparkle returned to her body...

After having an adventure in Gravity Falls...

Just as Moon Dancer in a wedding Dress ran into the room agreeing to Twilight's proposal...

But this was all to be a story for another time...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	247. They want their willies back!

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

The Howling Behemoth: Thank you, thank you, there will be drama concerning Spike

RasenganFin: (shrug)It's a good show, you should really give it a shot

...III...

Twilight Sparkle was happy! She was happy in Ponyville, with her friends, learning her friendship lessons!

Speaking of which...

Spike coughs out a letter from Princess Celestia, "Oh! A letter from Princess Celestia! What marvelous adventure or life lesson will she have me and my wonderful friends embark upon today!?"

She eagerly read the letter...then went quite red in the face.

"Oh...that's...new...and...unorthodox." She choose her words carefully, her face going more reder then even Celestia's sun. But she steeled herself.

"Steady yourself Twilight...what you do now, you do for the love of Celesti- EQUESTRIA! I do this for Equestria of course", she awkwardly corrected quickly.

Spike gave the letter a once-over, "Uh, Twilight? This doesn't really sound like something Celestia would have you do...maybe we should double-check with her-

"There's no time Spike! The letter from Celestia clearly states time is off the essence! Besides it's clearly from her! Same hoofwriting, same stationary, same royal seal, more importantly it came from your flame! No one can fake that!"

... **(Mal's whistle)**...

Slenderman whistled a malevolent tune as he dropped perfect copies of Celestia's letter's one after the other in full view of the readers...

...

"Now enough dawdling! We need to gather our friends! We have a portal to enter!" She ran off before Spike could further protest. He sighs..but follows...

...

It was a peaceful day in Gravity Falls, Oregon.

Killer bee's were mating in freshly cleaned out human skulls, lizard people were slowly killing off humans and using their skin as disguises, a inter-dimensional Pyramid monster was ploting to enslave humanity...Yes, just another perfectly normal day in Gravity Falls...

Oh, also Slenderman has switched on the 'reality ensues' function of this universe, but really that shouldn't cause too much of a difre-

 **BAM!**

Dipper cold-cocks Mable!?

WOW, I could not have been more wrong...

"WHAT THE BLOOD MABLE!? I SAVE YOUR UNGRATEFUL BUTT SEVERAL TINES THIS SUMMER, LET WENDY GET INJURED TO SAVE YOUR PRECIOUS PIG AND YOU RIDICULE ME!? FRACK YOU MABLE! FRACK BEING YOUR BROTHER! BE THE ALPHA TWIN TILL THE COWS COME HOME YOUR DEAD TO ME!"

Screamed Dipper as he stormed away from a sobbing Mable and out of the Shack...

Dipper grumbles as he wanders randomly forest, "Stupid Mable... 'Oh, I'm such a GREAT matchmaker...yet I apparently don't have the time to help the brother- who i 'supposedly' love- with his love life. Oh, Dipper forget about the things you LOVE- like supernatural explorations -and do things that I love, or do what NORMAL boys like- WELL MAYBE I DON'T WANT TO BE NORMAL! MAYBE I WANT TO BE **ME**! Stupid Mable, who needs her? I can do fine by myself-

 **ZAP!**

Dipper falls to the ground unconscious, "Alright girls! You...you know what needs to be done." Said Twilight Sparkle awkwardly as she and her VERY flustered pony friends as they stepped out of the bushes and gathered around the unconscious human boy.

Twilight coughed awkwardly, "Right...let's...let's get to this...time is of the essence! So we...we need...we need to do this...FOR EQUESTRIA!" She shouted passionately/reluctantly.

"Uh...darling? Do we REALLY need to cast the PERMA-NUDE charm on him? ...Making him permanently naked forever Seems like unnecessary overkill to me." Asked Rarity.

"Not to mention needlessly cruel considering the OTHER thing were going to do to him." Agreed Applejack.

Twilight glared at them, "Look, PRINCESS CELESTIA gave explicit and detailed instructions on what we HAD to do to prevent a cataclysmic event from destroying Equestria and everyone we know and love! Your not questioning Princess Celestia are you?" Asked Twilight pointedly.

The two ponies sighed, "No." They admitted flatly.

Twilight sighs, "Look girls...I'm not thrilled about this either...let's just get this over with, go home, save Equestria, have a nice long Spa day and meal at Sugar cube corner...and NEVER speak of this again."

"AGREED." Said all her friends at once.

Twilight nodded at this and zapped Dipper with the spell, destroying all his clothes...everyone quickly gathers around the now naked human.

"Okay girls, just swallow your pride and- Dang it Rainbow Dash! You spotted the wrong one! Celestia clearly detailed Dipper as a BOY! This is clearly a GIRL!" Snapped Twilight angrily pointing to the human they'd just rendered unconscious and permanently nude.

Rainbow was also baffled, "Oh, yeah. I can see that...but that makes no sense! He's the spitting image of the picture Princess Celestia sent you!" He raises up said picture...and sure enough, the human on the ground WAS the spitting image of the person on said picture.

Twilight frowns at this, "But...but that makes no sense!" She lifts Dipper off the ground with her magic annoyed. "SHE looks like Dipper...but she's clearly a GIRL and- Suddenly Twilight stopped her rant...now that the 'girl' was closer to her...

"Wait, hold on." She gets closer and scrunches her eyes as do her friends...and then their eye's widen in realization.

"OH! He...he is...well, TECHNICALLY a boy." Said Twilight, suddenly feeling VERY sorry for this VERY unfortunate person they had before him.

Rainbow dash broke down laughing, "HA! HA! HA! OH, man! If anything 'Technically a boy' is being far too generous!" She struggled to breath as she laughed.

"Now- (Snort) -Rainbow- (Giggle) -That's- (snicker) -That's not funny!" Said Rarity as she tired VERY hard to be professional.

"Wow, he's REALLY tiny! His testicles are the size of sesame seeds! And his wiener is the size of a pine needle!" Affirms Pinkie pie as she used some rulers she pulled from her mane to get very accurate measurements...

"PINKIE! Will you leave the poor human boy alone! Were already going to ruin his life enough as it is!" Shouts Twilight as she pulls out a magical gelding knife...then thinks for a moment.

"Although to be honest...I'm suddenly feeling a lot less guilty for castrating him now...since...y'know?" She struggled to find the right word's to explain this...

"He's not really losing much of anything?" Offers Applejack awkwardly.

"He'll probably never need them because no girl is that desperate?" Admits Rarity embarrassed.

"His chances of sex will actually go up in the absence of that useless and unattractive 'inch-worm' he had between his legs?" Suggested Rainbow Dash with a smirk.

Twilight sighs, "Yep, pretty much right on all accounts." She conceded.

"GIRLS! YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES! SAYING SUCH HORRIBLE THINGS ABOUT A PERSON!" Shouted Fluttershy angrily.

Applejack frowns, "Sorry...but it is the TRUTH." She admitted reluctantly.

"Yes, but you still shouldn't say it!" Said Fluttershy angrily.

"Look, could we PLEASE just get this over with!? This is awkward enough as it is!" Said Twilight flatly as she got to work chopping off Dipper's manhood.

...

Meanwhile, Mable watched all of this from the bushes in disgust...she'd followed Dipper out here to make up with him...but she hadn't been expecting to find this!

THIS WAS HORRIFYING! PONIES WERE SUPPOSED TO NICE, DANCING ON RAINBOWS AND LETTING CUTE GIRLS PET THEM! ...oh, and the whole castrating Dipper was bad too...in principle...even though they weren't really taking anything VALUABLE.

Mable was filled with determination, this was her chance! She'd take them by surprise, save Dipper, reconcile with him, and everything would go back to norm-

 **"NOPE, NOT doing this."** Before Mable can even blink, Slenderman grabs her and tosses her to the 'FLY of DESPAIR' condemning her to eternal agony as well as kicking her out of the story.

The ponies, oblivious to what had happened behind them thanks to Slenderman's much stronger magic finished their dirty job went about collecting a couple more 'ingredients' and left for Equestria...

Leaving behind a mystically neutered Dipper...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	248. Modesty is the best policy

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

Gamelover41592: Fair enough

contrast: (shrug) Repressed rage mostly, Mable reminds me of a real-life jerk who abused my Great Aunt Beverly's love for him and now she's been sent to the hospital and will probably will die soon.

RasenganFin: Yes, i have.

...III...

Deep inside the beastly Gravity Falls Jungle...Jungle girl Mable was on the prowl, stalking her prey through the tall grass, billy club in hand and clad in nothing but a leopard pelt...she crawled forward...

The mighty dragon slumbered before her, his back was to her, he was completely undefended. Mable smirked as she raised her club to strike it down-\

 **PHHHHRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTT!**

The dragon's fiery flatulence engulfed Mable, she screamed as she was knocked far. She groaned as she got up...and watched as her Billy club crumbled to ash...

"GAH! BILLY! YOU WERE SO YOUNG! ...ALSO MOM IS GOING TO KILL ME!"

And then her pelt crumbles to ash, exposing her nudity to the world. Mable squealed in embarrassment as she frantically ran home before anyone could see her...

...

Puitepée, wife of Teträm, and adopted stepmom of Mable and Dipper cooked traditional troll rat stew...and barked at Mable.

"You destroyed ANOTHER Billy Club!? Dang it Mable you need to learn to be more responsible for your things! Go to bed, no rat for you!" Shouted the giant She-troll. "And if I hear you ruined one more personal belonging- even if it's something as useless as your pelt -I'll tan your hide!"

"Uh, okay. Sure Ma!" Shouts Mable quickly as she concealed her modesty with a plant and ran upstairs, silently praying how thankful she is for how obsessed trolls are with weapons that they have restrictive tunnel vision for everything else...especially when it comes to clothes!

Puitepée frowned at this, Mable giving up on rat without a fight? Awfully suspicious...

And then her soup began to burn and she quickly focused on saving it. And thus completely forgetting about Mable..

...

Mable quickly wrapped her blanket around herself to hide her shame as she heard her twin brother come upstairs, _"Oh, I can't keep this up forever! Eventually someone will see my pelt is gone! And I can't make any new clothes without destroying something else of mine or Dipper's...which I'm pretty sure would still make Ma pretty upset! What do I do!?"_ She thinks to herself in panic.

Dipper Pines, clad in nothing but a loincloth, walked in with a yawn. "Gee Mable you missed some pretty dang good rat! Also, Mom wants to talk to you tomorr- Oh!"

Cried out Dipper as his loincloth got snagged on the door frame, giving him a small wedgie and tearing the strap a bit. "Dang it, we really need to fix that stupid splintery wood." Says Dipper as he quickly reties the ripped part of the cloth. "Well, Good night Mable!" Shouts Dipper as he flops down on the bed and goes fast asleep.

Mable didn't hear him...she just stared over at him...a mischievous grin forming as she got an idea...

...

Dipper yawned as he awoke from bed the next morning, he scratched his rear as he woke up and walked across the room... "Morning Mable." He says in a drowsy manner.

Mable smirks beneath her blanket, "Geez Dipper! All this time and I never would've guessed you were my twin SISTER."

Dipper looks at her confused, "What are you- And then he feels the draft and sees it's source -GAH! Where's my loincloth!?" He cried out in panic as he covers his groin mortified.

Mable took her chance, she slowly got up and made sure her blanket began to slide off- "Geez, Dipper, two hands are kinda overkill don't you think? From what I saw, just a THIMBLE would do." She teased as she let her blanket hit the floor as she stood up.

Dipper turned to retort- The vomited. "GAH! MABLE COVER YOURSELF!" He shouted horrified.

Mable looked down in mock surprise, "WHA!? MY PELT IS GONE TOO!? WE MUST HAVE A THIEF ON THE LOOSE!"

Before Dipper could respond...

"Hey kids, you seen my loincloth?" Asked their troll father as he entered their room.

Both kids promptly vomited at the sight of their naked, unashamed troll father.

 _"Okay, I did not think this through."_ Thinks a green Mable...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Many of the characters and setting above is from 'Trolls of Troy', I don't own them.**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	249. Cold Sweat

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

RasenganFin: Glad you liked it

...III...

It was a quiet peaceful day at Kadic academy, broken only by the sound of kids talking, lunches being eaten and the Kadic Times giving another scoop.

"GET YOUR KADIC TIMES HERE! COMPLETE WITH EXCLUSIVE PHOTO'S OF VARIOUS KADIC BACHELORS YOU AREN'T GOING TO WANT TO MISS!" Shouts Tamiya and Milly.

"What, did you photoshop this?" Asked Jeremy Belpoise as he and Aileta read various naked pictures of their friends.

Yumi Ishiyami smirked, "No way, I took the pictures as they were coming out of the showers." She whistles a happy tune.

 **"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"**

Screamed Ulrich Stern as he chased Odd Delirobiah enraged. "YOU TOLD ME TO TELL HER DIDN'T YOU!?" He screamed in his defense...

In one universe, this would be the end of this crazy tale and the credits would be rolling...

This is not that universe...

Jeremy reads some more...and goes very pale. "Uh, Yumi? Did you see where you were aiming your camera in the boy's locker room?" Asks Jeremy trying hard not to panic.

"Wha- Well, I mean I had to make sure they didn't see me, so I had to angle the camera from the hallway in their general direction, so not really. Why? What's wrong?"

Aileta giggled when she saw the paper, "Uh, looks like you had another 'victim'."

Yumi frowned and took the paper to read it herself...she also went pale. "DIPPER!?" She shouts horrified. Sure enough, a naked 12-year old Pines was being displayed on the front page as he timidly came out of the shower behind the older boys.

Yumi wimperd, "Uh...how long do you think I have before Wendy reads this?" She asks frightened.

 **"YUMI WHAT THE HELL!?"**

"I'm guessing none, you should run now."

Yumi didn't need to be told twice! She ran as the redhead devil rounded after her-

 **I'M GOING TO KILL YOU YUMI!**

As Wendy sought to rip apart the person who'd humiliated her boyfriend...Ulrich continued to chase odd...and the Jeremy and Aileta just watched the chaos unfold.

"Okay, now that Wendy's out of earshot- brings up picture of Dipper -Jeremy tsks, "Wow, puberty has not been kind to that kid." Aileta giggles, "When I first saw this picture I thought I was looking at his sister Mable!"

"HEY!" Shouts an annoyed voice behind them, they look to see an annoyed Dipper standing behind them.

There's a long awkward pause...

"Well both pay you fifty bucks if you don't tell Wendy what we said."

"100$."

"(sigh), fine."

 **I'M GOING TO F**** RIP YOU IN HALF ISHIYAMI!**

END.

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	250. A pig or a friend? 23: RasenganFin

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

RasenganFin: yep

...III...

Dipper groaned as he woke up, "What...what happened?"

"You fought off that wolf with your barehands! Your a hero dude!" Exclaims Wendy happily.

Dipper frowns, "Huh...why don't I remember that?" Pacifica smirks, ""Well there's not a lot of blood in your brain." She points out his rager. Dipper blushes, and tries to cover it..emphasis on 'tried'.

"What the...It's even bigger now! and...hairier? HOW!?" Shouted out Dipper frantically.

"Don't question it dude! Your a king among men now!" Shouted Wendy.

"Well...yeah but...how am I suppose to wear pants!?" Dipper groans as he walks upstairs...

Both girls turn to each other.

"So were in agreement? We never tell him he got turned into a werewolf, overpowered us and humped us non-stop for hours?" Asked Wendy

"Only if you promise never to reveal I deliberately tweaked the werewolf antidote so his junk would get larger and harier...even more so during a full moon." Said Pacifica

"deal."

...

Dipper grunted with effort as he tried to get his pants on, he breathed a sigh of relief as he accomplished it. It took over an hour but he finally-

And then Wendy bent down in front of him to pick up a comb-

 **RIP!**

 **RIP!**

Dipper glared down at the now ruined pair of pants and underwear that had fallen prey to his rager...like all the other's.

Dipper looked up at Wendy, "Wendy...look everytime you bend over to pick up your comb- Dipper blushes -Look, I've lost 12 pairs of pants and underwear alredy!"

"Say, no more I'm gone!" Said Wendy as she leaves the room...and then 'tag's in' pacifica when she's sure Dipper isn't looking.

Pacifica walks into the room just as dipper finally gets another pair on-

"Hey Dipper! What do you think of my new swimsuit!?" Shouts Pacifica sporting a new one-piece

 **RIP!**

 **RIP!**

Pacifica giggles, "Well that answers that question!"

Dipper groans as he tosses the ruined garments away to the increasingly large pile.

"Actually, good timing. Did you find the shrink stones where I said they'd be? I can't believe I'm saying this...but I need to make my wiener smaller."

Pacifica laughs, "Wow, you might be the first guy to EVER say that...but no, they weren't there."

"What!? But I saw a whole load of them when I got that one to beat that kraken!" He asserted.

Pacifica shrugged. "Don't know what to tell you when I went where you directed...they were gone."

...earlier...

"Okay, move it people!" Shouted Pacifica as the various goons that made up her family's employ list packed up all the crystals and boxed them away...

...

Dipper groaned, but thanked Pacifca and went back to trying to put on some pants...

Which thanks to Wendy and Pacifica never got off the ground...

...

Mable sighed as she walked back to Gravity falls naked, she had no idea where Grunkle Stan was...but between his disappearance, the fires, the random racoon attacks, and the Texas stand-off's...

This had not been a good trip, the whole summer'd been falling to pieces since that dang carnival...

But maybe there was a silver-lining somewhere in all this...she'd overheard Stan talking about Soos birthday coming up...that always cheered her up! Maybe it would even cheer Dipper up!

Mable continued on, a skip back in her step-

 **GAH!**

And the the racoons returned...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	251. Wendy the Cougar 2

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

RasenganFin: Sorry, have my own plans but I think you'll like it. I'll use some of it though. Also, enjoy!

Wicked.A: Because it's hilarious, don't worry. Things get better for him later.

The Howling Behemoth: Okay, but you'll have to use one of your updates.

...III...

Wendy tries to keep her heartbeat steady, she puts all her attention into 'avoiding eye contact monthly'. All the while trying to NOT think of the pre-teen not five feet away from her that made her...think VERY inappropriate thoughts.

Wendy chastised herself, _"This is stupid...I've beaten up Grizzlies, lions, alligators, chased a billy goat through a blizzard naked- man that Christmas was WEIRD -and here I am cowering from a 12 year old? Pathetic! Besides, for better or for worse this kid's going to be spending the summer with me. If I don't deal with this...'issue', then I'm just going to be miserable all summer!"_

It's then that she realizes that Stan is demanding Dipper go out into the woods and put up signs, Wendy sighed. _"Well, dad's advice to 'stare down the barrel of the gun' facing your problems has never stirred me wrong before...except cousin Ruddy...poor bastard, they never did find all of his brain matter..."_

So She then volunteers to help Dipper, reasoning that she knows the woods better than him. Stan just shrugs and doesn't argue with that...

...

Dipper and Wendy walked in awkward silence, Dipper...Dipper had never really spent much time with the opposite gender(His sister being the obvious exception)...especially a much older...much CUTER girl.

And Wendy was trying VERY hard to ignore the burning of her loins and the relentless urge to overpower the pre-teen next to her, rip his shorts off and ravish him...

 _"Why'd I think this was a good idea? I should just- NO! You need to deal with this now!"_

She turns to Dipper, "Sooooo..."

"Soooooo..." Mimicked an equally awkward Dipper.

"...your name is...Dipper right?" She asked finally.

Dipper nodded as he put more signs up, "Yeah...that's..that's right...and your...Wendy?"

Wendy nodded, they then again awkwardly lapse into silence as they put up more signs...

"Sooo...where do you and your sister hail from?" Asked Wendy.

"Oh, uh...we came from Peidmont California." Admitted Dipper.

"Oh...okay, so a real crazy place huh? Real party town is it?"

"Actually, it's been voted the most boring city in America 50 years running."

"Oh."

Another long silence- broken only by banging nails -lingers on...

Dipper coughed, "Soooo...what about gravity Falls? Anything exciting happen here?"

Wendy snorted, "Yeah, right. The day something exciting happens in this dump is the day a garden gnome bites my butt." She says with a laugh.

 **CLANG!**

Both kids turn toward the tree Dipper had just pounded in surprise, closer examination revealed...A hidden panel?

Wendy's eye's widen, "What in the-

 **CHOMP!**

 **OW!**

Screamed Wendy as something bit her on the rump, "shmebulock!" Shouted the weird, tiny creature as he ran off with into the forest as he munched on a piece of Jean.

"What in the- did you see that Dipper!?" Exclaimed Wendy as she turned around.

Dipper went very red, "Er, yes...very much so!" Exclaimed a now very flustered Dipper as he tried to look away from his new friends now VERY exposed rear view...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	252. A pig or a friend? 24: RasenganFin

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

...III...

Dipper was in an awkward situation. He'd hoped that when he and Wendy went back to the grove they'd find some shrink crystals that pacifica had missed, but they'd found nothing!

Of course, since they'd gone at night so no one else would see Dipper's 'issue' Dipper had been forced to rely mostly on Wendy's nature skills to find anything. So he sent her back on her own during the day hoping that better visibility would help things...but again, Wendy came back empty handed!

It didn't make any sense! he'd taken a crystal from that grove to fight the kraken! and the journal confirmed that that was the location!

So what happened!? Crystals couldn't just get up and walk away...or could they? This was Gravity Falls after all...well, that's a worrying thought...

...Earlier that night...

Dang it Pacifica! Those stupid goons you hired left behind hundreds of crystals! If Dipper hadn't brought me along to 'help' him this whole thing would've been blown!" Shouted Wendy annoyed as she handed the absolute LAST of the free crystals in all of Gravity falls(she'd quadruple checked both times and can say with 100% certainty that she'd picked every last deposit completely clean) to the blonde.

Pacifica sighed, "Well, I guess it serves me right to buy goons at a $999,999.99 store..."

...now...

Dipper decided to not worry about that now, he had bigger concerns now. To hide his shame he'd worn a long trench coat and had volunteered to work behind the counter as an added measure.

He notices Soos and Mable doing something weird with the vending machine...he then sees her taking Soos wallet and looking for it. Dipper wants to stop her, but doesn't want to draw attention to himself.

So he tries to discretely signal the girls to take care of it...unfortunately, Wendy is too busy trying to get vomit out of Pacifica's hair after her brief stint as being dressed as the Banshee Exhibit.

When Dipper looks back, Mable is gone...

...

Long story short; Mable learned when Soos Birthday was(i.e. today) and threw it for him...only to learn that Soos hates his Birthday. After all her recent failures Mable just slunked away to Sweaterland and locked herself in her room in defeat...

Dipper, Wendy, and Pacifica. Feeling bad for Soos take him to the laser arcade to cheer him up.

"Don't worry buddy, were right behind you." Said Dipper.

Soos smiles and runs on ahead, the three run in after him-

 **ZAP!**

Only for the three of them to to run through a strange door, Dipper groaned, "It's too early for this." He said irritably, Not seeing the time-door slam down on the coattails of his trench coat and begin to retract the whole sucker into it's maw as it dissipated-

 **RIP!**

"Wow, so you didn't even bother to wear a shirt under that?" Asked Pacifica as she and Wendy giggled at Dipper's misfortune.

"Shut up." Groused Dipper miserably...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	253. Throw Mable a bone

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

...III...

Stop me if you've heard this one before: A boy works hard to find love and protect a friend from harm...but a twin sister wants to ruin his hardwork and let her friend get hurt in order to save a PIG. And successfully guilt trips him with a temper-tantrum...

Why people consider this a happy ending is beyond me...

But never mind...today we'll flip the script...but NOT in the way you'd expect...

Dipper glares as his twin Sister begins to beat her head against a totem...

"You're not guilt-tripping me, Mabel. Not this time." Says Dipper flatly.

Mable continues on...

Dipper rolls his eyes, "Come on, Mabel, I know you. You're gonna forget about this in a day! _-_ takes time machine out of pocket _-_ Here! Hey! I'll prove it!" He starts to activate it-

 **ZAP!**

Dipper's eyes go wide as Mable zaps into existence before him. "Wha- Mable?!" He turns around to see the first Mable still banging her head against the Totem.

He turns to the second, "What is going on her-

The second Mable snatches the time time-tape from Dipper's hand and smashes it to the ground, she then stomps on it until it's a useless pile of scrap.

"Wha- Mable, why did you do that!?" Shouted Dipper in shock.

"Forget about me Dipper," said the second Mable.

Dipper looked at her stunned, "Wha-

"I'm not worth it Dipper, I'm not worth your love, I'm not worth your anything. I'm a selfish, spoiled brat...who gets everyone she loves killed at the end of summer."

Dipper gaped at her horrified, "Mable- Wha- What are you- How dose that happen?"

"I ruin everything rather then let you leave me...rather then let you live your dream...'If you love something...set it free...' And that's just what I'm going to do now."

Dipper was speechless...he doesn't know what to say.

Suddenly, Mable starts to fade away...she smiles at this, "Good...just like I thought...the bad future is gone now...Dipper, promise me you'll forget about me, find happiness, and find love...promise me."

Dipper is in tears...but nods, "I promise." They gave each other one last 'awkward sibling hug' for the road...

"Also, when the federal agents come...don't show them anything and trust Grunkle Stan, you won't regret it. And try to make Pacifica happy too, trust me...she's nicer then you think..."

And like that...she was gone...

...

Thanks to Mable's sacrifice...

Dipper ended up dating Wendy within a couple weeks...

He found about how abusive Pacifica's parents were, and helped free her...

He made a stable Tyrone clone and gave it to Pacifica to date...

Ford arrived without much fuss...and eventually made Dipper his apprentice...

The Summer ended without any trouble...with narry a dorrito in sight...

Dipper spent the rest of his life in Gravity Falls...

As did Miserable Mable...forever banging her head against that totem...

 **"And far as I know..."**

Said Slenderman to the audience as he ditches his 'future Mable' disguise...

 **"She's still there..."**

He tosses the abandoned Mable a bone...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	254. Mable just wants Dipper to be happy

**Mable just wants Dipper to be happy**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

 **...**

 **AN: This is a story idea from ImperialStar**

...responses...

RasenganFin: glad you like it

The Howling Behemoth: Glad you like it

...III...

Once more Stan looked up toward his niece and Nephew...and couldn't shake the feeling that something was WRONG. The kids had only been here a week...but they...their was something OFF about them...

The boy was way too quiet, never spoke, always did what he was told...and when not doing anything basically just sat in the corner to rot...

And the girl...at first she just seemed just like a crazy lovable loon...but there were times...her eye's...the only time he'd seen eye's like that in the prison guards of Columbia...black...soulless...dead inside...

Stan shook his head, _"Will you listen to yourself! Your talking about a little girl here! Sheesh, I really am getting senile."_

Meanwhile, Wendy looked up from her magazine and saw Dipper bring the soda she asked for. "Here you are Mrs. Wendy." Said Dipper in a flat tone.

Wendy frowned at that, "Uh, dude you can just call me Wendy." "As you wish Wendy." Said Dipper flatly as he tried to hand it to her, unfortunately it was at the same time Wendy tried to reach for it-

 **SPLASH!**

ensuing collision of hands caused her to spill it all over herself, but Wendy didn't even notice that-

 **"I'MSORRY!PLEASEFORGIVEME!I'MUNWORTHYTOBEINYOURPRESENCE!PLEASEDON'THURTME!I'LLBEGOOD!**

Wendy looked down in horrified disbelief as the kid sobbed and begged for mercy.

"Whoa- Whoa, their Dipper! It's fine! It was an accident. Nothing to worry-

"What's going on here?"

Wendy looked up, and was stunned. It was Mable...but instead of the lovable goofball air she'd gotten used to...it was...it was like looking at an executioner before he chopped off a dozen heads...

Dipper whimpered, "Mrs. Mable, I'm sorry i-

Mable held up a hand, silencing him. She turns to Wendy, "Forgive his incompetence Wendy, I'll take care it."

Wendy...Wendy didn't know WHAT was going on here...but she was getting all sorts of bad vibes, "Wha- Take care of what? It's just a spilled soda, and it was clearly a-

"Don't defend him, he needs to learn!" Before Wendy could say anything, she turns to Dipper. "Dipper, come." She said more in a way one would talk to a disobedient pet rather then a human being. Dipper...sobbed, but nodded and followed...

"What the frak just happened here?" Asked Wendy aloud.

...

Dipper could vaugley remember...remember...remember a time he'd been happy...both he and his sis- Mrs. Mable and him had been happy. His dad had taken them from Mo- Mrs. Pines and her friends and family...and they;d been happy.

...but then dad died, and they came back...and now...

Mable just shook her head at him, "Why do you keep doing this Dipper? You know I only want what's best for you, you know I want you to be happy. And you can only be happy when you make your better's happy! How's that hard to understand?!" She said genuinely confused.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Mable. I'll do better Mrs. Mable." Said Dipper in a dead monotone.

Mable sighed, "Assume the position."

Dipper whimpered...but obeyed. Bit by bit...he took off the heavy clothes he was required to wear...and bit by bit...the scars that criss-crossed his body were revealed.

Mable sighed as she began to go through her belongings, "Dang it Dipper, you know I don't like doing this...but what choice do I have? If I don't keep your perversion, debauchery and disobedience at bay...you'll murder and rape me...rape ALL women. And we can't have that!" She finally found what she was looking for and headed toward Dipper.

"Yes Mrs. Mable, as you say Mrs. Mable." He says in a dead, monotone manner. He'd discarded all his clothes save for the homemade Chasity belt that covered his genitals.

Mable looked at for a second and tsked, "Darn thing got a bit loose again", she promptly tugs on a strap, tightening the belt, Dipper cries in pain as blood leaks from his groin...

Mable ignores this, takes out a key and unlocks his belt, letting it clatter to the floor. Dipper instinctively covered his privates- "Dipper." Warned Mable annoyed...his hands fall away in shame.

Mable nodded in satisfaction, the belt continued to do it's work. Keeping dipper's genitals crushed, deformed and TINY. Mable laughed, "Excellent, it's like looking at two sesame seeds and a raisin! Perfectly useless for anything save for bringing more girls into the world, as it should be.

"Yes, Mrs. Mable. Of course Mrs. Mable." Said a properly humiliated Dipper in a still monotone, dead voice as he takes his cue to spread his back to her and chain his own hands so they spread out.

"Mable let the cat-O-Nine tails drape to the floor, "Remember Dipper-

 **CRACK!**

 **GAH!**

-I do this because I love you!"

 **CRACK!**

 **GAH!**

"I do this only so you can be happy!"

 **CRACK!**

 **GAH!**

"I do this so that a miserable Male like you-

 **CRACK!**

 **GAH!**

-Can forget they don't deserve to exist!"

 **CRACK!**

 **GAH!**

"WHAT THE BLOOD IS GOING ON HERE!?" Both twins turned to see a furious Wendy standing in the attic, looking upon the scene before her in horror.

Mable just looked at her neutrally, "This doesn't concern you Wendy, Dipper is my property and I'll punish him for his incompetence."

Wendy just looked at her like she'd grown a second head, "I- Wha- Property? HE'S YOUR BROTHER! WHO YOUR WHIPPING! AND HE'S BLEEDING!"

Mable shrugged, "Yeah, well...what can you do? He's a guy, this is what needs to be done to keep them in line." She said dismissively as she turns to get back to 'work'.

 **CRACK!**

And down went Mable, a wrench to the head will do that. Dipper was shocked to find himself swept into arms, "It's okay Dipper...I'm here for you now..." Whispered Wendy sweetly...

Dipper didn't know why...but for the first time in a long time...he felt...happy...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	255. Mable just wants Dipper to be happy 2

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

Gamelover41592: thank you

The Howling Behemoth: more where that came from

ImperialStar: Huh...y'know, I have no idea? ...I'll get back to you on that.

RasenganFin: enjoy!

...III...

Things kinda downward spiraled after that. Mable was quickly arrested, all the while she exclaimed that she did nothing wrong, that she was only trying to keep Dipper happy by keeping him on the 'right path'. As well as defending herself from Dipper raping her.

It got even more messed up when they find her 'scrapbook' of ' _Precious Memories'..._ which was basically hundreds of pictures of Dipper and numerous other guys(from 5 to 30 years old) being tortured, mutilated, whipped, beaten, amputated, castrated, violated, water-boarded, defecated on and molested.

After Blubs had stopped vomiting and Durland had stopped crying...they immediately called the feds, saying: "I wash my hands of this, let's be honest. I'm a lousy cop, I'm WAY over my head here!"

But when the feds show up-

"You ain't taking my niece without a explaining to me what the blood is going on! And don't pull any 'for the good of the country' BS! I've defended myself against every judge in every state of the country and Columbia! So I know what NOT to do in a court, I know her rights!" Screamed Stan.

The agents sympathetically explained the situation...

Turns out the twins father was swindled into joining a cult of hereditary addict feminists who see men as beings who are inferior to women and are also the worst kind of monsters who's only true purpose in life is to produce girls.

Mabel was taught that Dipper being a man was even worse than an animal and as such he should be mistreated and humiliated in order to make sure he knew who his superior and would not give into his desires to go into her bed and rape her.

There had been a time when their father had a moment of bravery, sanity and love(whatever you want to call it) to his children when they were born and fled the cultist community the Twins had a very beautiful union of siblinghood, their mother struggled to recover them during all that time but I can not get them...

They were happy.

But all that was over, a car accident- which surprisingly dose seem like a genuine accident- took their father's life and they ended up back with their mother.

At first Mabel did not think it was very right to do such horrible things, but as time went on, she was convinced that it was for 'Dipper's own good' and ended up mistreating her brother and casting aside the siblinghood that they once had.

The feds and local law enforcement had been trying to gather evidence and bring the hammer down on them for years...

But this community of abusers were very clever. They knew how to be discrete, forcing men to wear large clothes that hide their wounds, using their pottery kiln's to burn the bodies, bribing crooked doctors to patch up broken male's in privacy, among other methods to hide their nefarious activities.

It seems the reason why their mother sent them to Stan is because they finally slipped up. A little boy tried to escape in the middle of the night and was shot by one of the woman in the street, this unfortunately attracted the attention of a nearby patrol car and the police found the crime scene before they could recover the corpse.

This has lead to full investigation on their community and although the few adult men have been successfully conditioned to not talk, the children are another story, they are not so discreet.

They hated to send them to a 'male', but they did not have another option that wouldn't look suspicious.

Fortunately, between Mable's 'confession', Dipper's wounds and the evidence provided by her scrapbook, they had all they needed to put those woman behind bars for life.

Mable though...Mable was going to an insane asylum for life...

And Dipper? Dipper refused to let go of Wendy. He couldn't describe it...all his life he'd learn to fear woman...but with her...he felt SAFE.

A broken hearted Stan can't find the strength in him to fight off Wendy's suggestion the Dipper stay with her until they got doctors to check up on him(real one's not the quacks her in Gravity Falls), he dismisses them without much effort...then goes get stone-cold drunk...

...

Wendy...Wendy didn't know what to make of the situation...it was all so surreal...

Dipper refused to eat until she told him it was okay...he tired to sleep on the FLOOR until she told him it was okay to sleep in her bed.

She turns her back on him for one second...and she finds him naked on her bed...

Wendy, looked at his mutilated body and testicles in horror and disgust.

"Uh...(retch in mouth) Dipper? What are you doing buddy?"

"You were kind to me...so now I must reward you with sex. As I have always done." Said Dipper in a broken monotone.

Wedny went very pale, "Now...when you say 'always'...

"Don't worry Mrs. Wendy, I've been trained most of my life so I could keep my female superiors happy, I promise I can keep you satisfied." He say again in a broken monotone voice...

Wendy said nothing...she went outside...screamed bloody murder and destroyed several acres of forest...

Her father wisely locked the doors and forbade his son's from bothering her...

...several days later...

Wendy sighed as she put up signs in the forest, Dipper was currently getting treatment from a specialist the feds had sent down...but it looked bad...so very bad...

"I don't believe this...I feel like I'm in a horror movie...no, actually this is worse then a horror movie! In a horror movie you just need to chop off a ghouls head, recite a spell, throw a ring in a volcano, or some other cliche BS...this...there was no happy ending here, just broken family...and even more broken boy..."

Wendy just continues to muse out loud as she continues to put up signs for the mystery shack...

"If only I could help him- Wendy snorts -Yeah, okay get real Wendy! This boy has been traumatized and abused! What are you gonna do? Chilax him to better health!? This is a REAL situation, with REAL consequences and issues! You can't just wave a magic wand and make everything better!

 **CLANG!**

Wendy looked in surprise as her hammer dented a metal tree...soon she'd find a strange journal...

It wasn't a magic wand...but it would do...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	256. Apprenticeship Blues: RasenganFin

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

Guest: ... what? I don't understand what your asking.

The Howling Behemoth: Huh...good question...what will happen then?

RasenganFin: 1. Will do. 2. Sounds good. Enjoy!

...III...

Dipper looks to his shaking sister as he tries to comfort her, "I just..I just think it would be a good opportunity for me." He explained.

Mable sniffed, "W-what about me?" Sobbed Mable.

Now in a different universe, what happens next would've lead to a chain of events which would've seen the apocalypse started, a town ruined, Dipper giving up his 'fantasy-

 **BZZZT!**

 **"For the love of...he'd be spending time doing what he loves, surrounded by friends who care about him(unlike at home where he has no friends), with an adult that actually supports his dreams(unlike Mable who just seems to mock and ridicule his dreams despite constant evidence that the supernatural is real) with who's help he can get a bright future... How is that 'living in a fantasy?' Sounds like a dream job to me! Seriously, someone explain that to me. Make me understand!" Takes a deep breath...and eats an alternate Mable's head off a pike. "Okay, rant over. We now return you to our original story already in progress!"  
**

 ** **BZZZT!****

-of living in Gravity Falls with his Grunkle Ford as an Apprentice for the sister who traded him in for a 'Yes-brother' named Dippy Fresh, and Mable getting away scot-free with nearly murdering the world and rewarded with her brother continuing their enabler/Co-dependent relationship...

...Why people consider that **a happy ending is beyond me..."**

 **"Thankfully, this is NOT THAT universe!"** Shouts Slenderman as he types on his typewriter and retcons the boy a dang spine for once!

...

Suddenly filled with rage and determination, Dipper glared at his sibling. "WHAT ABOUT YOU MABLE!?" He snaps irritably.

Mable eye's whip to him surprised by this outburst, "I- Dipp?"

"throughout the summer I've done nothing but sacrifice for you! And for the first time I'm finally doing something that makes ME happy! That'll make sure that I have a future! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BE HAPPY FOR ME FOR ONCE!?"

Mable was aghast, "Dipper, why can't we just be happy together-

Dipper snorted, "HA! that's a good one! You've been nothing but annoying burden!"

Mable gaped, hurt. But Dipper wasn't done.

He ticked off his fingers-

"You choose a PIG that she knew for a day over Wendy's-a friend she'd known for WEEKS- health!"

"And not too soon after me SACRIFICINIG MY CHANCES WITH WENDY AND ALLOWING HER TO BE INJURED you have to nerve to mock- MOCK! Me for my height- Something you KNEW I was sensetive about...frack your 'you've always been better at everything else' excuse, I SHOULD'VE PUNCHED YOU IN THE FACE FOR THAT YOU UNGRATEFUL, SPOILED BRAT! I SHOULD'VE LET MA AND PA GHOST KILL YOU!"

Mable gasped!

But Dipper wasn't done-

And then you nearly got me and Wendy killed in the bunker because she couldn't but out of my private life and couldn't take Dipper seriously to save my life! I admit, I should've just told Wendy the truth, but you have to take your half of the blame! If the fact that they were in creepy bunker straight from a horror movie wasn't a tip off that you needed to take things seriously in your life, THEN THE SCREAMING METAL DEATH TRAP THAT NEARLY KILLED THEM SHOULD HAVE BEEN!" He screamed.

Mable finally rallied behind the tears, "B-but Dipper! I came through for you during the puppet show-

"First of all, that really only cancels out you breaking all your promises to me and getting us in that situation in the first place." Interrupted Dipper firmly. "And any good will you could've accumulated from that...you killed it during the unicorn fiasco!"

Mable blanched at that, "Wha- But Dipper, I got the hair-

"Yeah, AFTER you learned that 'princes' Celeste-whatever was a fraud! We needed that hair to protect ourselves from Bill, but you put your pride and you wish to be 'pure of heart' over everyone's safety! OVER YOUR FAMILY'S SAFETY!"

Dipper glared, "I know that Bill was going to throw me off the water tower for laughs! I know you know that too! Would it have killed you take a threat like that more seriously!?"

Mable twiddled her thumbs together... "I bought you a dozen ice cream sandwiches after that." She added weakly.

Dipper threw up his hands and head in mock jubilation, "Oh, Hallelujah our problems are solved! I got ice cream sandwiches! Hey, maybe when Bill is done using my spine as a jump rope he can eat them and maybe get some mild indigestion!" He said sarcastically.

Dipper glared at her, "This is it Mable...this is what I want to do with my life, I'm finally in place where I have FRIENDS, I'm finally in a place where I have people who will support me, For the first time ever...I'm truly happy-

"You were happy with me!" Snapped Mable.

Dipper frowned...but nodded, "Your right...I was...but now I've found happiness outside of you, it's time for me to live my own life, my own way, find my own happiness-

"Dang it Dipper your 12! Why you sounding so old-

"Maybe, I WANT to sound old!" Shouted Dipper annoyed, "I'm so sick and tired of being mocked, and punished for wanting to grow up 'too soon'- Well frack all of you! This Summer I fought Demons, monsters, robots, and elder gods! I'M MY OWN PERSON, THIS MAKES MY HAPPY, AND I'M GOING TO LIVE MY OWN LIFE!"

He glares at Mable, "Question is...are you going to be happy for me so that we can get back together in a year or so...or are you going to 'get stupid' and do what our Grunkles did and throw a fit and make sure we never speak again?"

Mable didn't say anything, she just cried, pushed past Dipper, reached for one of the bags on the floor-

 **(PAUSE)**

 **"Let's flip the script a bit"**

Slenderman(somehow) whistles 'Mal's theme' as he switches the bag's under a temporally-frozen Mable's fingers...and then slips a weird looking coin into hers...

 **(UNPAUSE)**

An annoyed Dipper just shakes his head sadly as Mable leaves...despite his harsh words...he still loved Mable and had hoped he and Mable could've parted on better terms he reaches for his bag, double checks the rifts containment, brushes a tear from his eye...and heads down to Ford's lab...

...later...

Mable cautiously let Blendin into he house, "I'll take you to Grunkle Ford's lab, he might have what you need...you promise this'll make sure Summer lasts forever for me?" She asks pleadingly.

'Blendin' smirked, "Trust me my dear, your dream world is within your grasp."

Placated, Mable continues to lead him inside...

Never noticing the coin, 'blendin' had snatched from her bag and was fiddling with...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	257. Apprenticeship Blues 2: RasenganFin

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

...III...

"Well, here you go." Said Mable as he gave 'Blendin' the rift.

Then to her surprise he drops it! "Oops!" Said Blendin in mock surprise...only for it to turn to a snarl of anger!

The rift was intact! Mable let out a breath of relief, "Whew, that was close! Now could you- But she stopped mid-sentence when she saw how angry Blendin was.

"Blendin? You okay?" Asked Mable concerned.

Blendin; AKA Bill Cipher was furious! Shooting Star had gotten him here too late! Sixer had permanently sealed the rift already! All his plans, ruined! It would take generations for the conditions for his release to line up perfectly again...and by that time...the nightmare realm will have imploded with him in it!

Bill takes at the coin he'd palmed from Mable's backpack, this was a special coin that would him to semi-manifest himself physically to do one thing briefly...he wouldn't be able to do anything too big on it's own...but if he worked this right...

"Even if this backfires, I'll still get my revenge on Sixer...that's worth something." Said Bill out loud

Mable was getting frightened, "Blendin, what are you-

"SLENDERMAN GIVE ME STRENGTH! GIVE ME THE POWER I NEED TO SACRIFICE THIS LOWLY MORTAL!"

Suddenly Blendin was encased in a yellow aura, Mable fell down on the ground in fear and frantically tried to crawl away

Bill screamed and grabbed her by the throat, doing so his googles fell off revealing his signature demonic glare.

Mable gagged as her windpipe broke, and her life flashed before her eyes- she didn't eat nearly as much glitter as she'd hoped -and out of her mouth to assault the rift container!

Bill growled, even with a spell powered by the sacrifice of a (semi) innocent life, it was very doubtful it would break that adhesive- lousy Pan-Dimensional Beings of Trilazzx Beta! Can't even tell up from their rear, yet can make an adhesive that can thwart even elder gods!? How did that even make sense!? -still, at this point he was desperate...besides, like he'd said before, worse case scenario: Sixer still had one more dead body on his consciousness, that'd still be something...

"LET HER GO BILL!"

Bill smirks, "Speak of the devil." He turns to see a Quantum Destabilizer being pointed at him by an angry Ford Pines accompanied by an even angrier Dipper.

Ford tried to keep the panic off his face, he had no idea what Bill as doing to the rift. But it didn't look good! He needed to act fast! If he could just shoot him with the destabalizer while he was in this weird semi-corporal state(what was it, a ugly hairless gopher in an even uglier white work suite?), it might be enough to destroy him! but...Mable was too close to him! She'd get hit too!

And then he saw what he needed to do.

"How did you even get down here bill?! Only my family knew the code!" Demanded Ford suddenly, making sure that Bill had his attention solely on him.

Bill laughed, "You have Shooting Star here to thank for that." Mocked Bill as he gestured to a now very blue faced Mable.

Dipper groaned, "...She didn't." He said in a hopeful yet resigned voice.

"Oh, she did!" Laughed Bill.

While Bill Bragged about how Mable wanted summer to loop and never end and how he was planning to twist that wish to trap her in a 'gilded cage' of a dream world where she'd get her hearts desire and be forever young and happy...while the world burned around her...

Dipper had to resist to urge to throttle Mable himself...he took a deep breath, for better or for worse...saving Mable was the right thing to do...he'd be furious at her later.

Bill cackled, "Like Niece like Grunkle I guess? Seriously, are all the kooky twins in your family good at fraking up their siblings lives? Makes you wonder if your parents should'a just drowned the lot of them at bir-

 **CRACK!**

"Where we kooky twins lack in smarts we mack up with PIPE TO THE FACE!" Shouts Stan triumphantly having successfully snuck up behind Bill thanks to Ford's diversion and cracked him in the head with a lead pipe.

Bill popped out of Blendin, his form still semi-physical thanks to the coins now fading energy-

Ford knew that should be the part he said something cool like in the old flickies...Yeah, he had nothing. This was more Stan's thing-

 **ZAP!**

Bill screamed in agony as his form shattered-

 **BOOM!**

And said shards ricocheting caused large parts of the room to explode-

 **CRASH!**

Which caused the room above to collapse on the screaming Pines.

...

...

...

Wendy, having just come in to clock in for the morning...just looked at the hole that formed in the foyer speechless... "I should just walk back home RIGHT now." She said more to herself then anyone.

...but then she heard the familiar kitten sneeze of her best friend...followed by his even more familiar groan of pain...

Wendy sighed, "I hate being the good guy." She said flatly as he began to climb down into the wreckage to help her favorite family...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	258. A pig or a friend? 25: Rasenganfin

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

The Howling Behemoth: ...I might have some ideas...no promises though...

Guest: are you trying to send me a link? If your trying to send me a link, then the website is messing it up so now it's useless to search for it. Sorry.

RasenganFin: I'd hoped someone would like that

Gamelover41592: My Aunt Beverly condition got worse, what can I say? Mable-bashing is a good stress reliever.

 **...III...**

 **AN: HAPPY B-DAY RASENEGANFIN! ENJOY!**

 **...**

Thankfully, Blendin was so busy screaming at the time cops for grabbing the wrong girl. They were able to grab a spare time-measure and leave- it didn't hurt that the cops were reluctant to grab a naked boy-

"I can't afford to end up on the sex offender list! My wife would kill me!"

Unfortunately they ended up off target by ten years...

So remember, we need to make sure to not change the past...or MAKE the past...I forget how this time travel thing works" Admitted a still naked Dipper sheepishly, they were going through back-alleys so dipper's shame wouldn't be exposed to everyone...

Wendy frowned...she felt...she felt like there was something important about this day...what was it...

"This dream goes nowhere Toby!" Screams Pacifica to a younger Toby Determined as he was doing his Razzler Dazzler routine.

The three of them have a good laugh at that, including Dipper. He's so busy laughing while walking-

 **OOF!**

 **EEP!**

-That he didn't see the crying five year old walk into him. Dipper groaned as he helped her up, "Sorry about that, you okay?" He asked, the girl wiped her tears, looked at him- then erupted in giggles. "Your naked!" She teased gleefully.

Dipper turned bright red as he covered himself.

While a laughing Pacifica helps the girl get on her way...Wendy just looked on at this scene stunned.

"It can't be..."

As the little redhead wandered away, she turned back to a still very flustered dipper, "Thanks naked cute boy! I needed that!" She then went even redder as she realized what she said and ran out faster.

Pacifica giggled, while Dipper just groaned, and Wendy...Wendy looked at Dipper in a new light.

"...The first boy I really liked was you?" She said outloud.

"What?" Asked Dipper.

Wendy quickly shook her head, "I'll explain later. Right now we need those parts from the shack!...and also get Dipper's cute but covered before he's arrested fro streaking." She teases that last part.

Although they get the parts, they stumble into Young Soos. He briefly envies Dipper's 'courage' as he'd never have the guts to go around naked...no matter how much he wants to,

Curious about what caused him to hate parties, they follow him to his house...where they learn about his deadbeat dad, accidentally overhear Blendin talk about the Time-wish, and Pacifica gives Young Robbie a wedgie for spraying her.

Wendy is suddenly overcome with emotions, she turns to Dipper. "Dipper I could wish for..."

"I know Wendy but Soos hasn't seen his dad since he was 4! I bet he doesn't even know what he looks like. Imagine if that happened to you." Interrupts Dipper with a pained expression on his face.

Briefly an internal conflict is apparent on Wendy's face...then she finally groans in defeat, "Dammit Dipper why do you have to make so much sense?!" She exclaimed angrily.

They then allow themselves to be captured. Blendin is still annoyed not ho have Mable, but Wendy and Pacifica offer to take her place. Blendin throws another screeching fit- "Just let them take the little girls place for Times Sake." Says one of the time-cops impatiently.

Before Blendin can protest- "ENOUGH! I GROW CRANKY! LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH ALREADY!" Bellows an equally impatient Time Baby. Needless to say, Blendin shut up.

"Uh...could I have some clothes too?" Asks a still naked Dipper. "Don't push it." Says another time-cop annoyed.

"Unfortunately, we'll have to recalibrate the trials to account for four people instead of three. Fortunately we got some Zigerions working the controls so we shouldn't be long." Says a time cop as he gestures to a bunch of humanoid creatures with four arms and pink to purple skin tone. They also had elongated heads with a small number of spiky protrusions. In addition they had long antenna-like appendages that could serve as their ears. They were also outfitted with a specific type of space uniform that bears resemblance to the Star Fleet uniform in Star Trek. They were currently typing away at a computer nearby...

Suddenly Dipper remembers that the Author mentioned them in the journal...among other things...he smirked as he gathered the girls together, a plan forming in his head...

...

"Hurry up! Do you want to get on Time Baby's bad side?" Asks a Zigerion named Kevin. "I'm coding as fast as I- GOOD GRIEF COVER YOURSELVES!" Shouted the other Zigerion.

"What's the matter boy's...too hot for you?!" Asks a naked Wendy beside an equally naked PAcifica.

Quickly they demand they recalibrate the trials so that it heavily favors them in exchange for them covering themselves and leaving.

Wendy and Pacifica walk out of their workroom, "Glad that's taken care of, now let's grab our-

"Why are you naked!?" Demanded a time-cop confused.

Both Pacifica and Wendy stood their flusterd, "Uh, we were just-

"you know what? I don't care! Just get your buts back onto the arena! Were on in five-

"Wait, we need to get our-

"Don't care! We leave now!" shouts the cop as he forcibly drags the girls away...both girls groan as they see an absentminded janitor take their clothes and throw them in the incinerator...

...

Embarrassing as it may have been, the whole thing panned out. The Zigerions coding gave them the advantage at every turn and they won easily. As an added bonus, them being naked quickly made them the crowd favorite, so everyone ignored Blendin's calls for Foul.

When it's time to decide Blendin's fate-

"DEATH!" Screamed a blood-crazed Wendy angrily.

"Whoa! Not cool!" Shouted Dipper quickly.

Wendy panted, "Sorry...had a bit of a day...my bad."

Considering what their actions did to him, Dipper decided to have him reinstated, all the charges against him dropped, and given a rocking Afro.

They then brought the Time-Wish back to the present-

 **...**

"GAH! GIRLS! COVER YOURSELVES! I DON'T FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT YOU! NO OFFENSE!" Shouted a flustered Soos.

The girls simply groan and comply equally embarrassed as they explain the situation to Soos and give him the Time Wish...Soos weighs the wish in his hand...thinks long and hard-

 **ZAP!**

And suddenly they all found themselves with pizza boxes filled with pizza that would never run out, INFINITE slices. "For the record...I feel like you wasted your wish- (CHOMP) -but DANG this is the best Pizza ever!" Shouts Dolph excitedly.

Soos also mentions that if anyone they hate tried eating a slice the topping would become the one they can't stand at all and that it won't go bad forever.

Wendy is baffled and asks why he gave up his wish, "Well, birthdays are supposed to be spent with the people who care about you. But you know what, that dude didn't care about me enough to visit me once, let alone fight monsters through time and space like you dudes. I mean, you had a gladiator fight, just to make me happy. I've been being ridiculous this whole time. Whoever my dad was, he can take a hike - _Throws postcard away-_ I know who my family is now, and it's you dudes - _Hugs the three-_ Thanks for giving me the best birthday ever."

And then Soos gets a knowing smirk, he turns to wendy, "Speaking of family...there was a second part of my wish...just for you."

Wendy looked at him confused, "What? What did you-

"Wendy! Dipper! Pacifica! Are you guys done yet?! Where did you go?!"

All eyes turned to the other side of the room...where a seemingly older version of Wendy had shown up.

Dipper's eye's widen confused and turns to Wendy, "Who's-

But Wendy wasn't there, faster then any she was already on the other side of the room hugging the new redhead and crying...

"Your alive...Mom..."

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	259. Wendy the cougar 3

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

Gamelover41592: thank you, she'll appreciate that.

RasenganFin: Glad you liked it, and ENJOY!

...III...

 **AN: HAPPY LATE B-DAY RASENAGENFIN!**

...

Dipper gave Wendy his shirt so she could use it to cover her now exposed rear. They then quickly run back to the shack with the journal. Once safely inside Dipper starts to read said journal curiously.

Wendy decides to read it with him so she has something to talk to him about. then she reads the bit about Soothsquitos, she quickly mentions Dippers bugbites which are still visible.

Dipper's eye's widen as he realized she was right, "Wow...this stuff is real! I mean yeah, there was that gnome...but I wasn't really paying much attention to that." He admits embarrassed- Wendy also gets a bit flustered...and self conscious of the fact she still only had a shirt covering her rear -...before getting a thoughtful expression. "Wait...Bewarb?" Takes a quick look at the journal. "Okay, they mess one of the letters up...so it must be...BEWARE! Of course! That must be it!" For a moment a look of triumph goes across his face...which is then almost immediately replaced with one of worry.

"Wait, BEWARE!? What dose that mean?" Shouts dipper in a confused panic.

Wendy was equally confused...yet interested. What had started as simply humoring the boy who she was...conflicted about? Anyway, but now..now it had grown into something...crazy? Was that the word she wanted to use?

Well, regardless, she was interested in what was going on here!

They began to talk in earnest about the contents of the journal, what it could mean, and what they were going to do about it...

They were interrupted when Mable came in to introduce her new hubbie-

 **YOU!**

In a different universe, a more apathetic Wendy would never have seen Norman, or really have even learned about him when her relationship had improved with the twins at a slower rate...

This was not that universe-

"Wha- You know each other?" Asked Mable confused.

"Yes I know him! This jerk tried to kidnap me when I was 12! GET AWAY FROM HER PERVERT!" Screamed Wendy as he punched the teen boy in the face...and knocked off his head?!

"Wait, what?!" Shouted Wendy horrified.

"GAH! WENDY MURDERED SOMEONE!" Screamed Mable horrified.

Stan overhears some of this, and sighs. "I'll get the shovel, hacksaw's and sulfuric acid." He said a resigned sort of way...

Dipper however...was still watching the scene? "Wait a minute- quickly flips through the journal -GNOMES!?"

Sure enough, the 'teens' 'body' had fallen apart into gnomes!

"Hubba, wha!?" Exclaimed Mable baffled.

Wendy, however wasn't really paying attention to that-

 **YOU!**

She exclaims once again, "Schmebulock." Said the one familiar gnome indifferently. "I'm gonna get you you skeevey perv! And your friends too!"

King Jeff held his hands up, "Wait. Let's talk about thi-

But Wendy was already grabbing gnomes and flinging them at Schmebulock like darts!

"Ow, my hat hurts." Says one gnome as his hat is now an inch deep into the wall.

But Schmebulock dodges them all! He dances about with the grace of a ballerina, continuing to enrage Wendy.

He jumps up and slaps Wendy's rear, Wendy screams indignantly as she punches and misses...oblivious that Schemulock took this opportunity to swipe dipper's shirt off her, exposing her rear once more.

Mable quickly covers Dipper's eyes, and tries to get Wendy's attention- But Schembulock just jumped up and planted a kiss on her lips, enraging Wendy once more. Oblivious to the fact that he'd just sliced her shirt and bra right down the middle, exposing her chest just in time for dipper to trip and get an eyeful.

Dipper tires to keep his first 'excitement' from showing as he quickly covers his eyes and tries to help Mable get Wendy's attention.

But Wendy was too busy enraged to hear or notice anything, she was using Jeff as a billy club right now!

 **SMACK!**

 **OW!**

 **SMACK!**

 **WHY!?**

 **SMACK!**

 **COME ON!**

But Schembulock just doges everything and continues to infuriate her-

 **CHOMP!**

 **OW!**

Like bitting her on the rear multiple times!

"YOU JERK! I'LL FLATTEN YOU!" She shouts unaware, that those last five bites had destoryed her jeans so utterly that, the remains had fallen on the ground. Completely exposing her lower half.

"Huh...carpets match the drapes..I GET that expression now." Said Mable awkwardly, unfortunately this moment of retrospection causes her to accidentally uncover Dipper's eyes...so that he 'GETS' it too...

Schembulock giggles as he jumps on Wendy head for a second or two, then jump when Wendy grabs, giving schembulock the opportunity to grab her arms, flip her over, and slide the last bit of her shirt off her.

 **SLAM!**

Wendy groans as she watches Schmebulock abandon his fellow gnomes and run out of the Shack to safety, she growled. "I'll get you one day Schembulock!" She sanrls...

"Mable, where's dipper? I need to talk strategy about gnome catching!"

"Uh...he's been rear ended. "Said Mable awkwardly.

Then Wendy realizes four things:

1\. She's naked

2\. she'd landed crotch-first on Dippers face

3\. all her shouting and ranting had attracted a crowd of tourists...and Stan.

"50$ PER PHOTO! 50$ PER PHOTO! BUY NOW AND YOU GET A FREE MUG!...after 300$ worth of purchases." He said that last bit quietly.

4\. she was pretty sure the thing poking her stomach was NOT dipper's penknife...

"...Mable, kill me." Said a mortified Wendy.

"...I'll get the cyanide."

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	260. Mable's prank

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

RasenganFin: Sorry, i'm more or less just going to the next episode now so that won't work

...III...

There are three universal truths in Gravity Falls.

 **1\. Toby Determined is a loser**

"HEY!" Shouts Toby annoyed.

 **2\. Mrs. Glick will never get ride of her compost heap.**

An old lady cackled as she rocked in her rocking chair, shot gun pointed at anyone that came near her compost heap.

 **3 (and most important) NEVER give Mable smiley Dip.**

How the third came to be is a funny story...

...

Mable had saved a lot of Smiley Dip from that haunted store and despite all warnings and restrictions continued to eat it happily...and when the orange in her belly button tasted like daffodils..she got an idea to prank her brother...

Remembering a page in her brothers journal, she went to get a crystal to shrink him and make Dipper her pet hamster which she would name 'little Dipper'...on the way there she bumps into a bald weird guy in a silver jumpsuit...a tape measure falls out of his belt and gets stuck on a paste stain on the folds of her sweater...

She returns with the crystal, but she's so high on Smiley-Dip, she misses him and instead hits his genitals...making them smaller...

Thinking it didn't work, Mable furiously shakes it, she accidentally leans against the time tape...snding her back to last night. Mable not noticing this since everything was basically the same, again tries to zap her sleeping brother...

Again, she misses and hits his genitals...

And this repeats numerous times, Mable unknowingly went back about a month, constantly missing, and constantly hitting his genitals, this lead to an accumulative effect of his junk getting freakishly small in the present.

What was once average size was now two balls the size of sesame seeds and a wiener the size of a tic-tac.

On it's own, this might've been bad enough...however...

"GAH! I GIVE UP!" Shouts Mable accidentally hitting the emergency reset button on the Time-tape, sending her back to the present.

Past dipper woke up confused, looked around, shrugged and went back to sleep.

In the present Mable turned around annoyed and tripped and Dipper's dirty laundry, causing her to fall face first into underwear.

"EWWW! Dang it, Dipper! Your such a slob! Well, nut's to you1 I'm not living like this anymore!" Exclaims a still very tripped out Mable angrily to herself, she quickly grabs every scrap of clothing in the room she can find, even going as far as to strip a sleeping Dipper- although she did have to pause to vomit at the sight of him, then takes all the clothes to burned in the incinerator...

Mable says, 'Mission accomplished' to herself...then falls flat on her face and goes to sleep...

...

When dipper woke up, he knew immediately something bad was about to happen to him... "Something doesn't feel right." He says to himself, then to his surprise he realized he was naked!

"Wha- Why am I naked? I know I had clothes on when I went to bed! eh- Wait, was my junk always this small!?"

Despite this mortifying revelation, he shakes it off and goes to get dressed...except there are no clothes! There was nothing! Literally nothing to hide his shame!

Suddenly getting more desperate, Dipper went to get his sisters clothes...but those were gone too!

"Oh, come on!" Shouts Dipper annoyed.

...

Indeed, in her smiley-dip induce state, Mable had mistaken her clothes for dipper and taken them(including bed sheets and the like) and thrown them down the incinerator, she also threw her vomit-covered clothes in as well...

On the plus side, she was getting some much needed karma as she was splayed out on the front lawn of the mystery Shack, completely naked, asleep and drawing in the tourists like crazy...

...

Dipper tried to calm himself, "Okay Dipper...relax. Yes, your naked. BUT, your naked in your own room. So just stay here until nightfall and go take some clothes from somewhere else in the shack, no problem!"

"KID! GET YOUR BUT DOWN HERE! WE HAVE A CRAZY INFLUX OF CUSTOMERS DOWN HERE AND YOUR SISTERS GONE AWOL!"

Dipper gulped, "Problem."

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	261. Mable just wants Dipper to be happy 3

**Mable just wants Dipper to be happy**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...III...

 **AN: This chapter is dedicated to ImperialStar, he and his family live in Venezuela and need all the support they can get! PM him now and give him a donation!**

...

RasenganFin: 1. Thank you. 2. That's hilarious, I'll try to put it in.

The Howling Behemoth: 1. thank you. 2. Questions? Like what?

...

"Through my investigations I have learned that the Gnome Queen is a highly respected and wise leader of the enchanted forest; among her many duties is playing mediator to various disputes between magical creatures, deciding who wins the miss dewdrop beauty pageant, deciding when her subjects will vomit rainbow during the summer solstice orchestra, and anointing her subjects with her queen 'jelly' to keep them from falling into madness and debauchery."

Wendy read the book **out loud** and sighed... "Am I seriously doing this? Following the words of a madmen into the deepest part of the forest to get a 'magical' item from a 'magical' creature?...am I nuts?" She gripped as she continued to walk.

Wendy knew it was nuts...but...well, what else could she do then? She felt completely powerless helping Dipper...she couldn't just stand around and do nothing, she needed to help him!

...and that's why she was walking this stupid trail, to the middle of nowhere, to find a most likely nonexistent creature to get a nonexistent 'jelly'...that might not even work at all!

Wendy stopped in her tracks, "Seriously what am I doing? Do I REALLY believe that if I keep walking I'll find an 'ENCHANTED' Forest abundant in fairy tale creatures? What am I, five?"

"Not with that attitude." Said a Kill Billy as it sipped it's morning cup of Joe- or BLOOD of a guy named Joe anyway -while walking past her to it's ancestral 'squatting' hole...

Wendy blinked, "Did I just see a- She shakes her head, "Frak it if I'm having a nervous breakdown it might as well be while at least making an effort to help Dipper..."

With that 'happy' thought she continues her walk through the woods...

...

A gnome bathing in squirrels...this was the first scene Wendy found. Jeff the Gnome King looked at her startled, "Uh...what? This...this is normal...normal for gnomes! All gnomes do this!" He lied quickly.

Wendy was too busy suppressing her gag reflex to respond, so Jeff wrapped a towel around himself and jumped out. "You here for the position of Queen? Sorry babe, but we like em SMALL." He said with a lecherous grin.

Wendy was about to cold-cock the tiny perv when what he actually said occurred to her, "Wait, the position of Queen is open? What happened to her?" Asked Wendy confused.

Jeff sighed, "It was tragic...she got eaten by a badger." Said Jeff wiping a tear from his eye, "Which means I'm now a bachelor!" He says in a suddenly more upbeat tone. He then wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. "Hey, you may not be eligible to be Queen but if you want to make some quick money-

Suddenly he found himself lifted up by his windpipe as Wendy started to strangle him, "Look buddy I'm just here to get some of that Queen's 'jelly', it cures insanity, dementia, mental disorders and trauma right?"

Jeff gagged, "Supposedly...but honestly i think that's a bunch of traditionalist hooey! The queens been dead and hasn't been able to give us our daily anointing for weeks now! And were all just fine!"

Jeff then grabs a nearby butterfly, puts mustard on it, sets it on fire and then smokes it.

Wendy gives him a weird look, "Riiight...so if I get you a new queen I'll get some of that jelly for myself?"

Jeff shrugged, "I guess...but girl gnomes aren't born. They got to be MADE. There's a special ritual that transforms a human girl into the gnome queen, of course she has to be young enough where her bossy can handler the change, about 12 years old ought to do it..."

Wendy frowns, _"12 years old? ...well, that puts me out of the running...but where dose that leave me ? I'm clearly onto something to cure at least some of Dipper's issues...I got to get that jelly...but who would be willing to do it? Let's see...she'd have to be 12...female...pretty enough for these perv's to accept her, but capable of protecting herself lest they get too grabby...who dose that leave me with? It's not like this is a big town...not too many 12 year old's that met that criteri-_

Wendy paled as a realization hits her...

...

Wendy takes a deep breath... "For Dipper!" She shouts to herself as she walks up to the Northwest Mansion...

...

"I'm sorry, you want my daughter to what?" Asked Preston Northwest.

Wendy groaned, "Look, I know it sounds crazy- But I brought proof, see?" Hold up a gnome she'd been keeping in her backpack, "SCHMEBULOCK!"

Preston Northwest gave a dismissive wave of his hand, "Oh, no you misunderstand. It's not the supernatural bits that flummox me, simply what you ask my daughter to do."

This in turn flummoxed Wendy, "Wait, seriously? You know about all the weird supernatural stuff that goes on here?"

Preston shrugged, "A group of well-meaning...'civil servants' in town feel it's within everyone's best interest to keep the normal and the abnormal separate, my influence and resources made it difficult for me NOT to know about such things. But we eventually came to an...'understanding'." He says that last part with a smirk as he reminisces.

...

 _Preston Northwest looks down at the members of the 'Blind Eye' society who'd tried to sneak into his mansion after he'd seen some weird little men stealing pie...and promptly got captured and beaten up by his private security force._

 _"Fortunately for you lot, I have a rather unsettling memory regarding a battered woman's shelter and a bed pan- (shudder) -perhaps we can make a deal?"_

...

Wendy frowns at that, "Wait, how do they- She shakes her head, "Never mind. Look, the point is that jelly could really help Dipper deal with his trauma-

"No, I got that but I'm afraid I missed the part where that's my problem." Said Preston snottily, the only real reason he'd allowed her into his presence was to watch tyhe scion of their 'rival'- And he used that term loosely -family grovel.

Wendy resisted the urge to punch him, there were security guard everywhere with GUNS. She takes a deep breath and begins again... "Think of it this way...your daughter will be ruler of her own kingdom-

"What, a kingdom of them?" He points to Schembulock with a sneer.

"Schmebulock!" Shouts the gnome as he waves.

Wendy quickly backtracked, "Uh, I read up the Gnome Queen is actually one of the most respected and influential in the enchanted forest!"

Preston thought for a second... "Well that's a BIT better...but still kinda 'meh'. Why should I be excited over the prospect of my daughter gaining influence with savage monsters and abominations?"

Wendy started to sweat, "Uh...free labor?"

Preston gained a thoughtful look, "Hmmm, interesting...I'll have some of my HR people look into the feasibility of that later...but I'd rather have something concrete that I could use NOW. Especially considering your asking me to use one of my most important assets for such a frivolous thing."

 _"Did he seriously just refer to his daughter as an asset?"_ Thinks Wendy to herself before once more swallowing her pride and beginning again.

"Um...okay, well what about the jelly? If it can cure psychological issues in humans, that be a huge cash cow for you."

Preston again looks thoughtful, "Well, one can never have enough money...still, you don't know for certain it works on human... Sorry, my dear, your making it sound better and better...but I absolutely refuse to have any part of that wacky forest unless I get at least one immediate benefit as a down payment.

Wendy was getting desperate, "Uh...the good PR you'll get for helping a mentally/physically tortured boy in the center of a rather large scandal that's currently taking the headlines by storm?"

Again Preston becomes thoughtful as he taps his chin, "Tempting...definitely tempting..." He says in a neutral tone of voice.

Wendy groaned, "Gah! I give up, what, what would it take for you to do this?"

Preston smirked, Looked her up and down... "Well...I have a bordello in the south seas that could always use a new young intern." He said perversely.

Wendy looks at him in disgust, she shuddered suddenly feeling VERY violated...then sigh's, the memory of Dipper's horrifically mutilated body ever present in her mind-

"Okay, fine I-

 **ENOUGH!**

Both residents were shocked when flames erupted from the ground, forming a burly ghost with a flaming bear and an axe in his head!

 **"I'm Archibald Corduroy! The noble act of selflessness done by my blood has summoned me here! But I shall not allow my descendant to shame herself! Preston I wish to make a covenant with you! If thou agrees to my scions accord- minus the part of the bordello, seriously man what the blood? that's just messed up. She's fraking underage for crying out loud! - I shall sweeten the deal by casting aside my vow of vengeance! I shall simply walk the earth forever, never at peace, but never bothering you or your kin."** He swore solemnly.

Preston looked surprised for a moment...then cackled evilly. "Well, certainly wasn't expecting this! I love it when crap like this lines up! In any case, love the offer...and I'll accept on the condition you become my family's guardian ghost AND my company's new mascot...were thinking of retiring Camel Cool, people just aren't into cigarettes anymore, especially the new generation...they'd rather stay home and watch porn."

Archibald gaped, "You would go so far as to add to my torment!?...DOSE YOUR DEPRAVITY KNOW NO BOUNDS NORTHWEST!?"

Preston shrugs, "If so, I haven't found it. Now enough talk, do we have a deal or not?"

Archibald sighed, gave his frightened and confused relative another look, then nodded and shook **Preston's** hand. and like that, the deal was struck...

"Uh...what the FRACK just happened here?" Asked a horrified Wendy baffled

…III...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	262. A pig or a friend? 26: RasenganFin

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

RasenganFin: Actually, in cannon it's been shown that Jeff considered Pacifica as a candidate for queen. Also I wanted to show how far Wendy is willing to go to help Dipper. And I needed a reason to introduce Pacifica quicker.

Wicked.A: 1. mostly the second one, 2. yep, 3. Wouldn't surprise me, good can mean 'smart' after all, 4. thank you, 5. what?, 6. I'll add it to the pile, 7. Wendy, 8. I doubt it, 9. more or less, 10. Yeah, well don't be too envious...he's wracking up some pretty bad karma after all...

Gamelover41592: thank you

nightmaster000: Your giving Mr. Burns far too much credit...

The Howling Behemoth: Okay, DEFINITELY using that!

...III...

Mrs. Corduroy looked at her daughter sobbing and hugging her in surprise, "Wendy what's wrong? You act like you haven't seen me in years!" Wendy brushed a tear from her eye, "It feels like it mom...it feels like it."

Out of the corner of her eye, Mrs. Corduroy sees a certain Time Traveler quietly leave the room, "Aw, I see. Well, in any case. Time for us to go...AFTER you lot get dressed.

And THAT was when the group remembered their current nudity...in front of their mom/friends mom.

"Mom I can explain- Began a flustered Wendy. "Wendy I'm not mad that you're bare naked with your friends, crazy things happen in this town...not to mention this has basically become a recurring theme." Takes out her emergency stash of clothes she had on standby. "Now put these clothes on before your father sees you, HE will be upset." A stunned Pacifica and Wendy clothe themselves as Mrs. Corduroy winks at Dipper while maintaining eye contact with him and never once drifting her vision down.

A blushing Dipper then realizes... "HEY! These pants fit me!" Mrs. Corduroy smirks, "Well, after your 'growth spurt' I had to get creative, can't have the girls getting too excited now can we!?"

Both girls blush at that statement.

As she escorts them to her van, she whispers to Dipper as he gets in "I know that you insisted Wendy give Soos the Time Wish to wish his jerk father would visit him. But he wished me back so Wendy would be happy. I'm glad you two went through all that to make Soos's Birthday a happy one."

Dipper is shocked and has to get pulled into the van by Wendy who is so happy to have her mom back. And on the way to the shack Mrs Corduroy sees Robbie walking down the street(The Time Wish apparently inadvertently undoes the injuries he suffers on Summerween) and speeds up just fast enough to nail him with a puddle.

"That's for vandalizing the Farmers Market ya hooligan!" When she sees the kids shocked by her actions she says "Where do you think Wendy got her awesome from? Certainly not my Danny." She giggled.

"Your mom rocks." Whispers both Dipper and Pacifica to Wendy at the same time.

Wendy smiles, "Yeah...yeah, she dose..."

...

Wendy was stunned...her house..wasn't her house, okay technically it still WAS her house...but now...now it was...CLEAN? Corduroy and clean were two word Wendy had never know to be together!

the kitchen is spotless, there are no piles of dirty laundry by the washer and dryer, the bathroom is organized, the yard is clean and trimmed, and the badger infestation is gone!

And when Wendy sees the familiar sight of her brothers arguing-

"GAH! OW! WHY!?" "Now what did I tell you boys about playing?" Asked Mrs. Corduroy in a sweet but firm voice, somehow giving all three of their ears a tug with just one hand!

"What the- How is she doing that!?" Asked Dipper baffled. "I don't rightly know. But it keeps the boys in line." Said Manly Dan suddenly appearing beside Dipper to his shock.

Dan glares down at Dipper, noticing his custom made shorts. "You better not have ended up naked with my daughter and Priscilla's kid again Pines." he snarled annoyed while a pale Dipper backs away quickly.

"OH, Dan don't be like that." Said Mrs. Corduroy as she quickly gets between him and Dipper. "Not his fault this town is weird. If I recall you and I ended up in similar situations numerous times-

"SHH! Sweetie, not in front of Wendy! I don't want to give her anymore ideas!" Said Dan quickly.

Dipper frowned, "Ideas? Wendy? What are you-

"Hey Mom! Do you have something to eat! I'm starved!" Shouted a flustered and panicky Wendy as she and an equally panicked Pacifica quickly pushed Dipper inside before he could ask more questions...

...

Dipper smiles happily as Wendy lapse up every moment with her mom with a smile brighter then the sun. But eventually, Mrs. Corduroy broke away and went to talk to Dipper. But not before Dan gives Dipper the "no funny business with my wife, boy!" Look.

Dipper asks how she knew about the time wish and she explains that she'd been shot and dying like in the original timeline... then suddenly time reversed itself for 7 seconds, bringing them to moment BEFORE she got shot. Except this time the gun jammed, the punk tried 3 more times to no avail and she proceeded to beat the stuffing out of her would-be assailant. The following night she was visited by a chubby time traveler that explained her life was spared by a time wish and she mustn't speak to anyone about it beyond those who are involved, and that she wants to keep Wendy out of the loop of her knowing she was spared to keep her happy.

She pulls out a box from under her bed- When your mother started calling their son Mason "Dipper" I immediately knew that the little boy I was hearing about will grow up to be such a selfless- but still level headed young man who would be ideal for my Wendy, who just so happens to look just like the boy Wendy described as the cutest boy ever the week after-

She opens the box and shows it full of Wendy's pictures she drew as a kid. But one stands out the most, a picture of Dipper. But only taller, muscular and with wavy hair.

Dipper is speechless but quickly recovers and says that could be any boy from when she was a kid. but Mrs C says he's wearing the exact same clothes Dipper wore to Laser Tag plus the laser target and makes note of the hat.

Mrs Corduroy smiles and says; "Wendy put the version of you she met years ago on a pedestal and no other boy has measured up to the nice boy she met all those years ago."

"...I'm her dream guy?"

"Seems so. But just because I'm on team 'Wendip', doesn't mean I'm ready to be a grandma. You got that Mr?" She chastises **playfully**.

Dipper goes bright red, "Uh- I- That is-

Then something she said earlier came back to him, "Wait, my mom told you about me? Why would she do that?"

"Why Not? she's one of my best friends you silly boy. When your father visited Stan every summer years ago he'd bring his girlfriend, your mother, up here with him and she and I became fast friends!"

"...WHAT!?" Shouted Dipper in disbelief...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	263. A pig or a friend? 27: RasenganFin

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

Gamelover41592: Thank RasenganFin for that one.

The Howling Behemoth: what improvements are you talking about?

RasenganFin: I like the first bit, hoe you enjoy this!

Wicked.A: 1. Trust those instincts... 2. The wand was more metaphorical

NyaNyaKittyFace: Well yes to the first, but as for the second...eh, i feel like dipificia comes in a close second. But Wendip will always be my fav.

Wendipfan: I like to think it makes up in quality where it lacks in size.

...III...

As it turns out, Preston won Priscilla at a young age during a trophy wife competition- seriously, how was that even legal? -she felt completely abandoned and depressed by the family that basically sold her into slavery for being useless...Mrs. Corduroy and Mrs. Pines broke into the mansion to prank the Northwests...and instead formed a life-long friendship.

It seemed that after Mrs. Corduroy died in the original, the two remaining friends basically drifted apart. Seeing each other brought back too many sad memories...

"We've been wanting to bring Dipper to meet Wendy and Pacifica for years, unfortunately something kept coming up. Only this year could your mother finally send them here uninterrupted."She explained as he gave Soo's toasted, cheesy nacho's. to thank him for reviving her with the time wish without saying so directly.

The reason she was explaining this was the panic attack Pacifica suffered when told that her father was alive here and that Priscilla was no longer stinking drunk and coming to pick her up...

Fortunately Mrs. Corduroy was quick to explain that in this new timeline she had anticipated Preston's abusive tendencies and with the emotional support of Mrs Corduroy and Pines she was able to stand up for herself and lets Dan into the Mansion as Muscle by demonstrating him Bending a Marble Statue, Bend NOT break...he was really good at bending things...

Preston still doesn't like Dipper but whenever he shows his dislike of Dipper Priscilla calls Dan on her cell phone on speaker so Preston could hear his voice and be reminded of things to come, then when Dan asks what's up she says that she'd like another bundle of firewood brought to the house as an excuse for the phone call.

While Pacifica becomes more reassured, Wendy tried to catch up with the other changes of the timeline. A quick check of her families financial account shows that the Northwest fortune isn't there anymore- Which made sense since apparently they were closer friends here. But Dipper points out that Gideons money is still there and that's a victory- Wendy just shrugged off the whole thing. They'd never actually touched the Northwest Fortune after the transfer so it's a minor reset at worst...

It also turns out that here Mrs. Corduroy won waddles for sunday dinner...but after Mable got beaned in the eye by a ball after Dipper pushed wendy out of the way of a stary shot, she gave him to her to make her fell better.

And with that, any lingering resentment Wendy might've had for Mable was gone, she'd basically felt the pain she had, and the pain she'd felt hadn't happened here. That plus Waddles still proved himself a badass who helped bring down the Blind Eye's...

Yeah...she would talk to Mable latter about restarting their friendship...

She laid down on her new Queen Sized mattress rather than her old Twin sized one. apparently, another change in the timeline is that Wendy's mother knows that Dipper and Wendy will be spending a lot of time on the bed and since she's alive still she's helped maintain the house and help with the Lumber business giving them the funds to be able to afford a bigger bed for Wendy...much to her embarrassment...

"Try not to wear out that bed too quickly-

"MOM!"

...

Meanwhile, Priscilla had arrived. Despite Mrs. Corduroy's reassurance...it seemed downright unnatural for her mother to treat her so warmly and kindly...she had so much bad memories...but...maybe it would be okay now? She'd faced so many strange things and grown as a person thanks toh er friends...maybe things could get better if she gave it a shot?

Smiling warmly...she gives her mother the first sincere hug that she'd ever given to her...and she liked it...

...

Unknown to all...Preston glared from within the limo. He didn't know how he got here...one moment that impudent pines boy was throwing him against the wall...the next he was in familiar yet different world...with memories clearly not his own...

His wife and daughter had seemingly taken control of HIS household the ungrateful louts...for now...he could do nothing...but soon...very soon...he'd be on top once more...

He cackled...never once noticing the the smirking eye of the carving in the nearby tree resembling an odd 'nacho'...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	264. Mable just wants Dipper to be happy 4

**Mable just wants Dipper to be happy 4**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...III...

...Responses...

RasenganFin: I thought you'd like that. I'll think about that.

Gamelover41592: Thanks and yes he dose...

The Howling Behemoth: eh...I'll have to get back to you on that. Oh, wow. Really? Sweet!

MarineAsashi: Thank you for the review! Have a nice day!

...

 **HEY KIDS! IT'S ME, MR. FUNTIME GHOST! THE FRIENDLY NORTHWEST CORPORATION COPYRIGHTED GHOST!**

 **STAY TUNED AFTER THESE NORTHWEST CORPORATION MESSAGES TO HEAR ME TALK ABOUT NEW NORTHWEST CORPORATION ASTOUNDING PRODUCTS!**

The former Vengeful and now deeply degraded Corduroy ghost groaned as the cameras went off, "Someone re-kill me now..."

Wendy sees her ancestors plight...this was horrible...still...at least Dipper would be okay now when Pacifica produces that jelly...

...

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE CAN'T PRODUCE THE JELLY!?" Shouted Wendy at a fearful Jeff.

Jeff shrugged, "Sorry lady, there's a large incubation and gestation period...it'll be at least till Summer's end before she's 'mature' enough in the anointment process."

Wendy groaned...all that for nothing...well, not NOTHING, by the end of the summer she'd have the jelly...but until then-

"Jeff! Stop talking to that commoner and attend me!"

 _-This was going to be very annoying."_ Thinks Wendy as she watches 'Queen' Pacifica be attended by servants from all different magical species. It was rather sad that all it took to run a supposedly enchanted forest in a manner of days was a fancy title and some manipulative high-school alpha bitch bullying tactics...mostly the later...

Wendy sighed as she starts to walk away, _"Well...I guess it's back to the journal...there has to be another way to help Dipp-_

"Hold it right there! Where do you think your going Corduroy?"

Wendy turned back with questioning glare, "Uh...home? What's it to you?"

Pacifica smirked, "Oh, I don't think so...I could do with another servant."

Wendy laughed, "Yeah...that's not happening."

"Well, maybe I won't give Dipper my Jelly then."

The forest went silent, Wendy looked at her in horrified disbelief. "What are you...WE HAD A DEAL!" She snapped angrily.

"No, the deal was for your ancestor to become my family's mascot in exchange for me becoming gnome queen...we never agreed on what we'd do afterwards." She pointed out nastily.

Wendy snarled and reached toward her in a throttling motion...only to be blocked by several Manitoaur's and various other monsters.

"ah,ah,ah." Pacifica wags her finger disapprovingly, is that anyway to treat your new queen...

Wendy nearly bit off her tongue in rage...

...

Wendy fanned her 'queen' as she wore a ridiculously tiny leopard skin bikini... "Look, I get the tending to your every need bit...but why the bikini? ...wait...this isn't a...am I a sex slave?" Asked a disgusted Wendy horrified.

Pacifica spat her cola out, equally disgusted. "what!? Ew, NO! Look I know I'm not the nicest person, but come on! No! I don't do that! ... I'm simply doing this as part of my deal with the manitour's, giving them eye candy let's me dock their pay."

"Totally worth it!" Huffs a Manitour as he savors Wendy's scent...

Wendy shuddered... "Right, that's not creepy at all..."

"Less talking, more fanning!"

...

Dipper was curled in a fetal position on Wendy's bed...the doctors had been nice to him...his body no longer hurt everytime he moved(mostly)...but he refused to sleep...for when he slept...Mrs. Pines and Mrs. Mable came back...

He wondered when Mrs. Wendy would return...he felt safe when she was around...also confused...she...she didn't hurt him...she was nice to him...and yet...she didn't want sex in return?

...this was weird...all his life he'd been conditioned to reward kindness with servitude and pleasure...the only two things a lowly male like him was worth...

But Mrs. Wendy actually treated him like he mattered...like he was equal to her...which of course was ridiculous...and yet...it felt good...no one had ever done that for him before...

...He wanted to make Mrs. Wendy happy...but how?...the only thing's he could think to make woman happy was serving their needs and pleasuring them...and the woman back home mad it very clear- while beating him for his 'inadequacies' -that he was lousy at the later.

Dipper had tried to do work around Mrs. Wendy's home, but Mrs. Wendy had forbidden it. Then her brothers had overruled her while she'd been away and allowed him to do their share of the work...Mrs. Wendy promptly screamed at them for tricking Dipper into doing their chores for him when she returned earlier then expected...

...So now Dipper was at a loss of what to do. His entire life was dedicated to serving and pleasuring woman who were horrible to him...now he had the opportunity to do something nice to a woman who was nice to him...but his limited life experience left him with few skills to draw on. Since he couldn't do any work for her...that left pleasuring her...which AGAIN according to every girl who'd 'practiced' with him he was terrible at...

...Maybe he could fix that somehow? Dipper cautiously took off his clothes. ...and briefly savored the gentle cress of a summer breeze on his tiny, mutilated and horrifically disfigured privates.

The woman of his life had forced him to strip constantly in order to humiliate and demean him. He'd been thrown out into the wilderness to die naked more times then he could count whenever Mrs. Pines was in one of her 'moods'...

And yet...although naked and forced to fend himself...for the brief time he was wandering in the woods before Mrs. Pines sobered up and dragged him home- before anyone found him and incriminated the 'commune'- he felt peaceful...so many years of having nothing had taught him to appreciate the little things about life..and these little things were all the more obvious in nature...the sound of dew dripping off the leaves...the macabre fascination of watching a spider trap, ambush and ensnare it's prey...contemplating the mystery of how a bumblebee was able to fly with such little wings...the perverse pleasure of violating one of the communes main rule of not exposing his male genitals to the world...the nice, cool breeze against his abused body...

...it was nice...

He looked at his reflection...as unappealing and repulsive as ever...still...perhaps there was some way he could improve his 'performance'...maybe he figured out how to give her more pleasure, Mrs. Wendy might be willing to look past his disgusting body and useless genitals to allow him the honor of making her happy.

He gets to work on perfecting some exercises the woman of the commune taught him to improve his 'technique'.

...

Meanwhile, the Corduroy front door opens up and Pacifica sneaks in. _"Okay, little Mrs. Lumberjack won't be bothering anyone for awhile...now let's see this kid that's the source of all this commotion."_ Thinks the blonde heiress as she heads for the room where an oblivious naked Dipper is...'practicing'...

…III...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	265. Rent-a-Mable: Wolvenstrom

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

RasenganFin: got any ideas for the next chapter?

Gamelover41592: thank you

...III...

 **AN: This idea came from Wolvenstrom**

...III...

Slenderman was bored...and when Slenderman was bored...people DIED!

He was going around chopping off head and shoving them up rectums...he was thinking back to a latest experiment he just did, he'd gone to several GF universes and erased Mable from existence, then retconned it so that many would take her spot as Dipper's sister; Wendy, Pacifica, Candy, Tambry, Melody etc.

...it was interesting experiment...he might share the recordings at a later date...but for now...he'd run out of ideas and now he was bored! And that's why he was making a random slub eat his own face in front of his children!

He was half-way through forcing a grown woman to drink her own lipo-suction when he realized something... There was still one person left he could replace Mable with...

...

Dipper looked up at the woman he loved, they were trapped in a bunker, his sister refused to listen and let them out, a monster was on the loose...Dipper's lips quiverd as he momentarily considerd telling his crush his hearts desire to let them free...

As we know, in another moment in another universe he'd idiotically chicken out and simply drag Wendy further into the bunker. Setting motion the chain of events that were all familiar with-

 **SQUICK!**

This was NOT that universe...

Wendy looked dimly at the pincer that now pierced through her chest- "WENDY!" Screamed a horrified Dipper. The monster tossed the now bleeding profusely Red-head at Dipper's feet.

"I...Dipper- (cough)" Wendy coughed out blood.

"No! No! Wendy, don't leave me!" Sobs Dipper.

He quickly bangs on the door! "DANG IT MABLE! LET US OUT! THE MONSTER'S GETTING CLOSER! I'M BEGGING YOU! WENDY IS SERIOUSLY HURT!"

Mable just snorts, "Yeah, right Dipper! The only person your hurting is yourself!" She shouts accusingly!

"DANG IT MABLE! YOU STUPID BITCH! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!? WHY CAN'T YOU EVER TAKE THINGS-

 **SQUICK!**

Mable looked alarmed...first because of the cursing- Dipper had NEVER done that before...and then...the abrupt ending of the conversation...

An equally concerned Soos accompanied her to the door... "Uh..Dipper? You okay?" She asked concerned...and then she saw it...the blood seeping from the door...she threw the door open...and saw the corpses of both her brother and her friend...

Ironically, her screaming was actually what made the shapshifter decide to spare her and just leave...if only so the ringing in it's 'ears' would stop...

...Mable would later turn herself over to the police claiming responsibility for the two deaths...as always the police responded buy sending the underage minor to jail with no real trial...

Mable ended up sharing a jail cell with Gideon, she was so broken she didn't even resist his advances...he became his queen...Gideon gave up on conquest and focused all his psychotic obsessions on Mable...she spent the rest of her life miserable and jailed...

 **And they all lived horribly ever after...well...except maybe one...**

...

Dipper drowsily woke up. _"Wha...where am I? What was I-_ Then he remembered! WENDY! THE MONSTER! BLOOD! "I NEED TO SAVE WENDY!" Screamed Dipper as he jumped up-

 **CRACK!**

Only to get whacked in the face? "What the? What is this?" Asked Dipper as he grabbed what hit him ...then to his horror...he realized these WERE BREASTS! HIS BREASTS! NO, MABLE'S BREASTS!

Dipper went very green, this was that crazy carpet all over agian! Only this time it was worse! Not only was he in Mable's body...he was in an EXTRA 'thicc' version of Mable!

Dipper promtly vomited as he went into the fetal position while rocking back and forth...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	266. Code-Lyoko---interupted?

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

RasenganFin: Wow, good ideas I'll be sure to use them

NyaNyaKittyFace: Slenderman apologizes to all his followers, he was sorta just going through the motions- stuck in a rut, botred stiff. You know hoe it goes. So he wasn't really paying attention to what he was doing... But thank you for keeping him on his toes, as a reward: He won't burn your house to the ground...

...III...

It was a bright, glorious, beautiful day. Birds sang, burgers were eaten, children frolicked in the summer sun...

 **WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M NOT ALLOWED TO BE THERE!?**

Which only goes to show that reality had no sense of theatrical atmosphere...

Stan sighed at the sight of his sobbing red-headed employee. "I'm sorry Wendy, I want you to come! And I know- Stan paused, the wearyness of the last couple of weeks taking it's toll -I know Dipper would've wanted you to come...and- and he wouldn't want you to feel guilty about what happened. I know I don't! ...Stupid kid...he was stubborn! So dang stubborn! I told him not to-

Stan trailed off...and gave a very, very weary sigh...

"Look, Wendy. I don't blame you, but Mable- Stan made a very awkward face on how to explain this delicately -Look, I'm sure she'll come around eventually...but for the moment..."

Stan tried to be as resolute about this, "Look, I'm sorry Wendy. But I have to put family needs first on this, especially for something so personal...you understand right?"

...Wendy said nothing...she just turned around...and walked out...still sobbing...

Stan groaned as he looked over to the casket being brought on...an expensive casket, too. Even Stan knew there was some things you just don't skimp on...

 _"Dang it kid! You had your whole life ahead of you! You were supposed to come to MY funeral not the other way around!"_ Stan then excused himself to rub 'something out of his eye's' in private.

...

 _"Even if you don't love me back...I'll always love you Wendy!"_

Remembering Dipper's final words only made Wendy sob harder...as she headed to the factory to her fellow Lyoko warriors...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	267. Mable just wants Dipper to be happy 5

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

...III...

Wendy's whole body hurt, Pacifica had forced her to stand like a throne in the most uncomfortable way imaginable, AND on top of bramble twigs so she could sit on her...and she wasn't even allowed to take a break when she wasn't there!

Wendy didn't know how much more she could take this, she kept trying to summon images of Dipper to give her strength...but to go through THREE whole months of this? She just...she didn't thin-

"Alright, Lumber Jane your fired! You owe me nothing! Dipper will receive the stupid Jelly at the end of the Summer, now get out of my sight before I change my mind!"

A dumbfounded Wendy could do nothing but fall on her but in surprise, "What, why?" Asked Wendy confused.

"Why?! I'm gonna hit you with a hammer, that's why! Just take this good fortune and leave you moron!" She snaps bitterly.

Wendy frowned at this, but decide it best not to question it, she tried to get up. But found that the brambles had snagged on her bikini a bit. She tries to untangle but-

"What are you waiting for!? I said leave!" Snaps Pacifica impatiently. "Wait, a minute! I need to-

But Pacifica wasn't having it, she orders a manitour to lift her up and throw her out of the forest-

"Wait! I-

 **RIP!**

A now naked Wendy grumbled miserably as a now VERY happy Manitour took her to the outskirts of the forest...where she would have LONG walk home.

Pacifica ignored this, she thought...she thought of what she saw...and it overcame her...and she cried...

...

Manly Dan found himself greeting the sight of his daughter wearing nothing but a 'welcome' mat to hide her modesty.

"What-

"I don't want to talk about it!" Snaps Wendy irritably as she streaked passed him, she sighed as she entered her room, throw down the mat, turned to her bed to relax...

And was greeted by the wide-eye's of a boy who was already there.

Wendy sighed as she covered herself embarrassed, "Right, of course."

Dipper took his eyes off her, "Forgive me for starring at your heavenly body, Mrs. Wendy...I'll assume the positi-

"Dipper, no! I'm not going to punish you, this is more my fault for forgetting you were here." Said an exasperated Wendy flatly, trying to keep the blush off her face because of his compliment.

"Oh...okay, if you say so." Stated a both confused yet relieved Dipper.

Wendy sighed as she went to get dressed

"Okay, so sorry I wasn't hear for you lately, but rest assured I secured you with the help you need-

"Oh, I know. Mrs. Pacifca is already paying to give me far better treatment then what the federal government is offering." Explained Dipper.

Wendy looked at him surprised, "Wait, what? She was HERE?"

Dipper nodded and explained how Mrs. Pacifica had came upon him while he was naked...one sight of his body made her weep and vomit...Dipper proceded to comfort her to the best of his abilities...and they got to talking...and then she told him he'd make sure he was taken care of.

Wendy was stunned, _"...Is...is this why she terminated our contract? ...WOW, maybe I misjudged Pacifica...maybe she actually DOSE have a heart."_

Wendy smiled, "Well, it's nice to see you had a good day." Dipper nodded, "Yes, it was nice to have my sexuality complimented for once."

Wendy looked at him confused, "What do you mean?"

"Oh, naturally to get her to stop crying I offered to pleasure her and she agreed..." He sighed, "She was very nice, despite my best efforts I can ONLY pleasure a woman for five hours straight and only give them 10 measly orgasms...and yest she was nice enough to lie and say it was the best experience ever...and not beat me up for how inadequate I am!" He smiled happily.

Wendy's eye twitched(and blushed), she threw back her head and screamed to the heaven's:

 **NORTHWEST! YOU-**

That day would be forever called 'cursing day' by the residents of gravity falls...as well as the towns several miles over...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	268. Alicorn Genesis 6

**Alicorn Genesis**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...III...

...Responses...

Wicked.A: 1. What's a Zaglo? 2. I might do one-shots later...maybe... 3. Their from Code Lyoko, good show. I recommend it. 4. it was less about standard's and more the woman lying to humiliate and demean them. 5. ...I dunno...the later?

...

Rainbow Dash's mind was still spinning from the conversation they'd had with the colt last night...she didn't like to admit it...but he made some good points...

She shook her head, she'd think about such things later! Right now she had a mission to complete! She walked from the ramp of the airship to a cheering crowd, despite herself, Rainbow couldn't help but revel in all the attention just a bit...okay, more then a bit.

In any case she and Scotaloo found themselves being jerked back and forth, shaking hands, kissing foals, being presented stuff, cutting the ribbon at the rainbow factory's new 'Cerberus retcon' annex...whatever that meant.

It took all DAY, but they finally got away to the main event. The Wonderbolt airshow!

"Hello Cadet Dash! Or should I call you Princess Dash?" Asked Spitfire in a congratulatory...yet slightly confused manner.

Rainbow Dash chuckled, "Yeah I- Then she frowns, "Huh, you know what? I actually have no idea, how will that affect my eligibility to be a Wonderbolt?" She asked confused.

Spitfire frowned and scratched your head, "Huh...that's actually a good question...I...really have no idea...this is completely unprecedented. For all intents and purposes your Princesses status makes you my superior...but theirs strict laws in our hierarchy for how you can and can't advance, and their were never any exceptions made for princesses...because again, this has literally never happened before...what did Princess Celestia say about this?"

Rainbow Dash frowned, "Uh...Princess Celestia kinda has a lot on her plate right now- she says delicately remembering that Princess Celestia had given them strict orders to not tell others about the impending crisis unless absolutely necessary -wouldn't surprise me if this issue completely slipped beneath her notice."

Spitfire frowns at this but gives a resigned nod, "I guess that makes sense, she dose run all of Equestria After all. Plus she must be REALLY losing it over the whole 'six princesses ascending at once' thing...She smirked, "In addition to the whole 'Twilight is a cougar that gives little foals big wings and a bigger HORN' scandal." She teased that last bit out.

"Nice", complimented Dash with a laugh as she gives her a hoof bump in respect.

Spitfire chuckles, "Seriously though, I'm going to have to gather all the senior bolts together after the show to discuss this. Why don't you come with me so we can prep you?"

Dash nodded and followed her along, as usual everyone and their grandma was gathering to enjoy feats of the most famous Pegasus team in all Equestria, the team that made Cloudsdale the famous capital of Pegasus politics, economy, and culture it was today. The one and only Wonderbolts! Storm dunking booths were being set up, Cotton clouds were being made, Rookie cadet thunderbolts were going through training in addition to other menial tasks.

Spitfire chuckled, "Hey check this guy out, I don't know how he got this far...but, well you'll see why we nicknamed him daffy soon enough."

"Alright ladies! let's do some lapse! Daffy! You first!" Shouted Soarin.

A black stallion Pegasus, with a orange mane and a duck cutie mark sighed annoyed but came up to the starting line. He waited for Soarin's signal...and then proceeded to fly in the klutziest most wimpiest way possible.

'Daffy' gasped between breaths exhausted, "How do I look!?" He shouted. "Like a woman in high heels carrying a purse!" Shouted Rainbow and everyone laughed...

Daffy simply looks at them annoyed...and slinks away disappointed...

Scootalo looks at this confused...reminded of the many times Diamond Tiara made fun of her. "Uh...Rainbow Dash? W-wasn't that kinda mean?" She asks concerned.

Before Rainbow can say anything Spitfire interjects, "Look it's cool kid, it's a tradition among Wonderbolts to razz on each other and give each other terrible nicknames, it's all in good fun." She says reassuringly.

Scootalo isn't so sure about this...but seeing her idol agree with Spitfire, she goes along with it...and makes an excuse of getting them both drinks to get out of there quickly before she says something she'll regret...

...

"No, mom! I'm not a cougar! This whole thing is just a misunderstanding!" Explains an exasperated Twilight to her mother over the magic mirror...this was one of many similar calls she'd been getting...

Unbeknown to her...Dipper was watching from a crack in the door...he was conflicted...on the one had he felt guilty for how his presence was causing Princess Twilight such drama...on the other hand...her flank was even nicer up close!

"Dude, seriously?"

Dipper panicked and slammed his head into the door, he quickly turned to the source of the voice. Which turned out to be Spike.

"Oh! Hey, Spike! Uh...what's up?" Asked a flustered Dipper.

Spike glared, "Dude...I know what you were doing, stop creeping on Twilight! It's weird!"

Dipper glared back, "Oh, like you don't do this with Rarity!" He retorts annoyed.

Spike blushes, "How did you- He quickly recomposes himself, "Fine, touche... I guess I'm in no place to judge you on that- he then gestures to the door where Twilight was -but you do realize...nothing can happen right?"

Dipper's eye's widened, "Wh- what do you..." "Look...as much as I pine for Rarity...it's becoming more and more obvious with each year that she just doesn't see me that way...that she sees me as just a child...nothing to be taken seriou-

"BULL FRACK!" Shouted Dipper suddenly.

Spike looked at him shocked, "Wha-

Dipper pulls out something from his satchel, "This is a picture of my same-aged brothers- Tyrone and Alchor -next to their MAREfriends."

Spike's eye's widened- "Wha- No way! Those girls are WAY older then them!" He exclaims in disbelief.

Dipper puts a hoof on his shoulder, "Look man, people are going to tell you 'your just a kid', 'do things that other kids do', 'let the adults handle this', 'your too young', 'do what NORMAL kids do'." He says with increasing annoyance.

Spike blanched...that was exactly what they told him! "But don't listen to them! If we want to be more mature, more responsible, move on to bigger and better things...well, why shouldn't we!?"

Spike frowned as he thought on this...

"Let me tell you something, if my brothers had just done 'kid things', and did what was 'expected' of their 'age'...well among other things I wouldn't have two amazing OLDER mares on the cusp of being my Big sisters-in-laws!" He says excitedly!

Spike...Spike didn't know what to feel. "But...what if Rarity..."

"Look, has she actually rejected you?"

"Well- No, but-

"No buts! If you love her, FIGHT for her! Prove to her your MORE then just a kid! Prove to her you are the Stallion for her! That you can love her and make her happier then anypony else if she would only give you the chance to prove it!"

A now pumped and excited Spike eagerly follows Dipper as the two bond more...unaware that Twilight- having been alerted by Dipper bumping his head into the door -had overheard most of this...and had VERY conflicted feelings...

...

Scootalo trotted through the fairgrounds; sad and confused. Rainbow Dash was her hero and she'd like to keep thinking so...but what she was doing seemed a lot like bullying...

She was so sad that she didn't notice two odd adult Pegasus's following her...

"I don't know...she looks kinda familiar..."

"Hey, we have our orders. You want to tick off our superiors?"

"...No..."

Before Scottaloo knew what was happening, she was grabbed and thrown into a sack, the two goons quickly threw her into the back of a carriage with numerous other squirming sacks.

"HELP!" Shouts Scootaloo briefly before being shoved back into the sack.

Fortunately, that was all that's needed. Not too far away, Rainbow Dash's Pegasus ability to mulit-task at long-range(which she usually sucked at, which is why it didn't come up very often) -which apparently had now been greatly enhanced by her alicornhood- Caught on to Scootaloo's cry and saw her head getting shoved back into a sack.

"HEY! LEAVE THE KID ALONE!" Shoots Dash as he flies after them. With her speed, she was quick to catch up to them just as the carriage turns into one-alley.

"Ha! Gotcha!" Shouted triumphantly as she flew into...a completely empty Alleyway?

"What the- But they came this way! I saw them!" Shouts Dash aggravated.

She tried to calm herself, she immediately focused her pegasus/alicorn enhanced senses to their peak...but then she sensed something else...something NEW.

It was like a thread...a thread of energy...energy she'd only ever felt before when using the element of Loyalty...and it was connected...sisterhood...love...trust...she felt all these things as the thread lead to Scootalo...BENEATH the ground?

Deciding to figure out this strange new ability later, Dash used what little unicorn training Twilight managed to teach her before they went their separate ways to shatter the pavement below her.

She quickly flew down to the depths, again using her multi-tasking senses she realized she was now underneath the Rainbow factory. She continued to follow the strange mystic thread to Scootalo's location-

"YOU IDIOT'S! DO YOU REALIZE WHO YOU SNATCHED!?"

Rainbow Dash hide in the rafters and looked down upon the commotion. And saw a massive and foreboding machine...more importantly she saw the two thugs from earlier being dressed down by a Pegasus in a blood-stained lab coat.

"This is Princess Rainbow Dash's personal assistant, you dolt!"

"I told you she looked familiar!" Snapped one thug to the other.

The other thug seemed alarmed, "But Dr. Atmosphere! We followed your instructions! She was where you said and she matched the criteria-

"I gave no such instructions! I- The engineer took a deep breath, "Never mind! I'll deal with you lunkheads later, right now we need to do damage control! Skip the usual procedures, just throw all the brats in! They've seen too much!"

The thugs nod and grab the still squirming sacks- which a horrified Rainbow Dash realized were full of Pegasus FOALS -and tossed them onto the now active conveyor belt as it began to send the now very panicked foals toward a horrific end-

 **STOP!**

Screamed a horrified and enraged rainbow Dash as she leapt from the rafters and let loose a might blast from her horn, destroying most of the machine in an instant.

Dr. Atmosphere looked up in terror as the end of life as he knew it literally came swooping down on him.

"I- Wha- Princess Dash! I- I know this looks bad but-"

"Your throwing FOALS into a MEATGRINDER! 'BAD' DOESN'T EVEN BEGIN TO COVER IT!" She snarled as she grabbed the mad doctor by the coat and shook him.

Dr. Atmosphere quickly tried to placate the furious alicorn, explaining to her how long ago Celestia gave up the power to make rainbows as the stress of handling both sun and moon was too already too great.

She then awarded this function of society to the Pegasus, who after much trial and error learned that it was much more cost-effective to simply grind up little foals who were 'useless' to society and therefore wouldn't be missed...

Dash looked at him dumbstruck. "Are you- What are you- WHAT?! Your MURDERING Foals just to keep Rainbows around!?" She shouted enraged/flabbergasted.

"Uh...yes?" Said Dr. Atmosphere cautiously.

Rainbow Dash dimly opened and closed her mouth...nope, she could say nothing...there were times that one beheld something so unbelievably, incredibly, amazingly...idiotic...one could do nothing but stare at it in AWE...

"I just...I can't even- Okay, first of all putting aside how obviously despicable and evil this is...Rainbows made from dead foals?! I just- I know were in a land of magic- But come on! That's just stupid! Secondly, I like Rainbows probably more then most! But frack Rainbows! I'd rather change my name to 'MUD' Dash then let a single foal die!"

Dr. Atmosphere twiddled his hooves together awkwardly, "Well...creating Rainbows was the ORIGINAL purpose of this whole conspiracy...but we've moved on bigger and better things since then..."

Dash looked at him baffled, "Better things? What are you-

 **ZAP!**

Years of being head of the weather patrol- in addition to Pegasus natural senses for all things in the sky -gave Rainbow the instincts he needed to know when he was about to be struck by lightning too great for even his durable Pegasus body to handle.

She Quickly he dodged the blast with the same speed that brought about the Rain-Boom-

 **GAH!**

Dr. Atmosphere wasn't so lucky, and was turned to ash in an instant...

Not even giving that monster a second thought, Rainbow Dash turned...to see an even greater monster stand before her.

"He was an odd creature. He stood on his hind legs, looked like a hairless ape, wore a toga, had the whitest, longest beard she'd ever seen...and actually cackled with lightning as if it were ALIVE.

"By better things he means he serves ME, ZEUS, KING OF OLYMPUS!...and future ruler of Equestria..."

Rainbow Dash trembled before this new threat...she didn't know how she knew...but she knew that no matter how this went...life as she knew it would never be the same...if she survived at all...

…III...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	269. Harem Scare'em

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

...III...

The whole thing started on fairly typical day. Twilight and her friends were tired from the whole 'Cozy Glow' fiasco and had let their students have the day off so they could have some much needed R & R.

They were just chilaxing in Twilight's castle, when out of nowhere Pinkie asked-

"Guy's have we peaked?"

Her friends looked at her confused, "wha- What do you mean?" Asked Twilight confused.

Pinkie frowned... "I don't know...it's just...the last season was great and all-

 _"Season?"_ Thinks her friends confused.

-but ...well, Twilight got her wings, her castle, and apprentice...Dashie got on the Wonderbolts...Rarity has... What? THREE Boutiques now?"

"I'm trying to figure out where to put my FOURTH...what do you girls think? Las Pegasus or Trotingham?" Asked Rarity suddenly.

Talking over her, Pinkie continued, "The cutie Mark crusaders got their cutie marks long ago, I can't even remember the last time anypony mentioned Diamond Tiara-

"Who?" Asked Applejack confused.

\- Discords reformed, the changelings are reformed, we got the blockbuster involving Fizzlepop Berrytwist as the very memorable and amazing former main villain Tempest!"

"Wait, I thought the 'main' villain of that whole debacle was the Storm king?" Asked Applejack uncertain.

"Who?" Asked Rainbow Dash baffled.

Again, Pinkie simply continued, "And now Twilight has started a school of friendship- Which don't get me wrong has been VERY enjoyable, the Young 6 have been a joy, and Cozy Glow was probably our best villain yet! ...but still...a SCHOOL of friendship? I hate to say it girls...but were getting dangerous close to 'sequelitus' territory..."

"Uh, Pinkie? If we could get back to your original question?" Asked Twilight, wanting to get things back on track.

"Wha- Oh, right. Basically...where do we go from here? I feel like we've already done everything we wanted and more...so what's next for us?"

Twilight opened her mouth to happily answer her friends query...then went pale as she realized...she had no answer! The chilaxing forgotten, she called an emergency meeting...

...

"Why don't we go find Crysalis? Reform her?"

"No one's seen her since her last defeat! Where would we look? Besides, even if we DID reform her...then go on to reform what few parts of our 'rouge' gallery that are left...we'd be right back to where we started! No, we need to think of something more Long-term..." Pondered Twilight out loud.

"Not to mention the whole 'reform villain' thing has been REALLY played out at this point..."

"Pinkie! Focus!"

"Oh! How about instead of just waiting for the Cutie mark map to send us somewhere, we just proactively wander Equestria going on adventures! And solve friendship problems!"

"YAY!" Exclaimed Pinkie Pie. "Now THAT could give the series the shot in the arm that we-

"Now hold on just a cotton picking minute! Apple bucking season is coming up! I barely have any time to myself nowadays between the school, the farm, and the OCCASIONAL adventure as it is!"

"Yeah, and I got the Wonderbolts to think about!"

"Let's not forget about me and my businesses!"

"Um...I actually need to stay by my animal shelter in case of emergencies...if that's okay with everyone."

"Oh, yeah...good points...and we do STILL have the school to think about now as well..."

Pinkie sighed, "Well...so much for that...stupid 'Reality Ensues'." Then her eyes light up. "Wait, why don't we all try to be alicorn princesses! We-

"No, pinkie! Princess Celestia made it very clear that the current political climate is too unstable for ANYMORE princesses, Flurry Heart ALONE lead to a hundred new decrees and statures!"

"Oh, really? But...wait, okay...how about we just focus on overcoming the emotional angst caused by you being immortal and outliving your friends?"

"Meh."

"We all gotta go sometimes."

"Death is a natural part of life."

"Things happen. That's life."

"Princess Celestia has already made preparations and set contingency plans in place to help me when that happens!"

"Oh, come on girls! Work with me here!" Groaned Pinkie.

"Oh! I got an idea! How about in addition to the school... we start a Friendship COLLEGE? Eh? Eh?" Asked Dash excited.

Twilight became thoughtful, "Well...maybe a good idea for the future...but that sorta seems more of the same, really...OH! maybe we could do scholarships!"

Pinkie Pie slams her head on the table, "GAH! This is reading more and more like a bad sequel no one asked for! The only thing that could make this worse is if we go with the old 'form a herd, find a stallion, and pop out foals' cliche!" She snapped angrily.

...there was a long pause...

"Hey...that's not a bad idea!"

"Why didn't we think of that before?...I LOVE FOALS!"

"Let's be honest, were not getting any younger..."

"A successful mare of my stature should consider such things after all...

"...me? A mommy? (giggle, blush)...Okay...yay..."

Pinkie Pie was aghast! "What? No! Wait! Girls! I didn't- But they'd already left the room to make preparations...

Pinkie Pie deflated in resignation, "Well...writing's on the wall...this will be our last season..." She suddenly looked thoughtful, "Well, I guess there are worse ways to end things then with a bundle of mini-me in my arms!"

With a spring back in her step, she hops happily out after them...

...

And so the girls set out to find themselves a stallion!...only to sheepishly realize...they had no idea how to do that. Indeed, none of them(except possibly Rarity, but even she'd apparently forgotten of romance a while ago) could remember the lat time they even MENTIONED a non-friendship/romantical relationship, never mind trying to get one for themselves!

Twilight quickly calculated and decided To simplify things, she convinced the others to simply form a herd(over Pinkie's objection's and moans of 'that old cliche.'). That way they would only need to worry about was finding ONE stallion!

"Simple and practical! After all, we only need one Stalion to impregnate us!" Exclaimed Twilight, proud of her own cleverness

...

The three other princesses, who were secretly watching all this...face-hooved themselves.

"Did she seriously just say that?" Said Candace in disbelief.

"Sister, no offense...but I feel you neglected some rather important parts of Twilight's education...and whoever taught her friends seem to have done so as well..." Pointed out Luna.

Celestia groaned, focusing all her students time and attention on learning magic and friendship at the exclusion of all else had seemed so practical at the time...but now...

"Yes...I can see that...but what should we do then?"

Candance sighed, "Look...people make lousy decisions when they first get involved in love- true I was MOSTLY able to sidestep most of the usual pitfalls, but only because of my unique alicorn magic regarding love. In any case, it's practically a rite of passage. Sometimes you need to learn things the hard way to make better decisions in the future. It's sad, but sometimes you just gotta let these things happen. Even if you know better, it's best to just let them make their own mistakes..."

Celestia frowned...but nodded, "Very well then Candace, since this is your area of expertise I'll differ to your judgement..."

There was a long, solemn pause...

..."So, do you think now would be a good time to finally reveal to Twilight that we've formed a herd with her brother?" Asked Luna suddenly.

The other two princesses groan, "Dang it Luna! We were trying to have a serious moment here!"

"Okay, okay, okay. Gloom and respectability, got it...sheesh..."

...

Another one of Twilight's 'brilliant' ideas was to publicly declare their intent to find an 'alpha' stallion and set up tryouts that any male could enter...

To this day it is said that during this declaration, the unmistakable sound of Celestia having an aneryism could also be heard throughout the entire empire...

In any case, onto the massacr- I mean matchmaking!

...

Twilight smiled warmly at the stallion sitting in front of them, "Well your resume seems solid, so let's move on to the questionnaire." She lifted her painstakingly crafted personality compatibility quiz and began.

"Question 1: if you could apples with anyone would you choose: A: Celestia. B: Starswirl the bearded. C: Muhammad. Or D: Cthulhu?"

"Uh, I don't like Apples the lady in the pamphlet said they contained lard." Explained the guy.

"Oh, I see..." Said Twilight, as Applejack contained her fury and silently threw away the mans resume...

...

"Uh...Mr. Geriatric?" I couldn't help but notice a few gaps in your resume. Would you mind explaining?" Asked Twilight confused.

"Oh, well! Back in 69, 'Ef D. Ar' was in the mayor's house, so I was on the welfare. And in 89, you had Jimmy wimmy. So I was on the welfare. And in 97-

Twilight sighed as the elderly pony blathered on... "In hindsight...I probably should have put an age limit on this." She whispered.

"Yah, think!?" Whispered Dash harshly back.

...

Dash Sentry waited patiently as the girls whispered quietly among themselves.

"Don't get me wrong, that was a nice thing he did to Twilight and everything. But he hasn't really done ...well, ANYTHING since then, has he...?"

"Maybe, but still. It was sweet of him to do..."

"Actually, dose it really count as the 'pony' him doing it, if technically the 'human' him did it...?"

"Their the same person...sorta..."

"But he still didn't really do anything..."

Finally they break up and turn back to the stallion, "Okay, were deadlocked on how to feel about you. So we'll put you on the 'maybe' pile. Don't call us, we'll call you..." Said Twilight neutrally.

...

"Well, hello ladies! I very much doubt I need any intro-GAH!" Screamed Blueblood as he feel through the suddenly opened trapdoor.

Rarity smirked as she flips the switch back to close the door again, "Well, that was cathartic...

...

"Oh, my!" Exclaimed a very flustered Twilight.

"Whoa yeah ladies! What you see is literally what you get! Nude dude for life!" Shouts the hairless Stallion excited.

"For the love of Celestia, COVER YOURSELF! Their are ladies present!" Shouted a flustered Rarity.

"I don't know girls, I kinda like this guys attitude...and a whole bunch of other things." Smirked Dash as her lustful eyes wandered over the stallions 'naked' form...

"It's inappropriate, is what it is!" Shouts a flustered and mortified Applejack.

"Oh, this is classic Applejack! You were always so uptight!" Exclaimed Nude Dude. "Hey, remember when we were foals and we went skinny dip-

"NEXT!" Shouted an embarrassed Applejack as she quickly bucked him out of the room...

...

"YES!" Exclaimed 5 of the Mane six as Big Mac entered the room.

"BUCK, NO!" Shouts an irritated Applejack.

"Oh, right...I guess it wouldn't be fair to bring your brother in since you wouldn't be able to join in, would it?" Said Twilight with a resigned sigh.

"Darn tootin it wouldn't be! I any case, I thought you were dating Sugar Belle!" Pointed out Applejack.

Big Mac blushed, "Uh...we got an understand-

"Never mind! Forget I asked!" Exclaimed Applejack, desperate to not hear anything about her brothers sex life...

Suddenly cousin Braeburn stuck his head into the room. "Uh, that doesn't disqualify me too, dose it? I mean after all were FIFTH cousins, so if you think about it-

"BOTH OF YOU GO HOME, NOW!" Shouted an irate Applejack over her friends resigned groans of disappointment...

...

"It is a writhing cesspit of scum and villainy out there, and the only way to survive it is to prove were the biggest shark in the jungle!" Shouts a unicorn known simply as 'angry pony'.

Twilight looks at him confused as Fluttershy hides behind her in fright. "Uh...okay...but what dose that have to do with your favorite color?"

Suddenly the Young Six came into the room. "Hey, Mrs. Twilight! We thought you could use a break! We brought doughnuts."

Before a relieved Twilight could say thanks-

"DOUGHNUTS!?" Snapped Angry pony, "Who has time to sit on their fanny and stuff their faces with- Oh, is that a bearclaw?" He asked in a suddenly nicer voice.

"Uh...yes?" Said Ocellus as she handed up said pastry helpfully.

"Oh, that's good because I FREAKING HATE BEARCLAWS!" He screamed as he started firing magical bolts at the now screaming students.

"NEXT!" Screamed Twilight as she quickly blasted Angry Pony out the window.

...

Applejack blushed, "I...Rockhoof?"

Rockhoof blushed, "Uh, well...if your okay with it..."

"YES!" Exclaimed Applejack happily.

"NO!" Shouted the rest, he was old enough to there great-great-great-great-great-grandpa for crying out loud!

Applejack gave a resigned groan of disappointment...but nodded...

...

"But he-

"NO! Fluttershy we are NOT including Discord into this!"

"Awwwwww." She groaned in disappointment.

...

Twilight sighed, "Spike what are you doing here?" She asked pointedly.

Spike blushed and tired very hard not to make eye contact with Rarity, "Uh...well...I just thought..."

"Spike, first of all. We want FOALS, which requires a male PONY. Secondly, you do realize you'd be essentially marrying ME as well, right?"

Spike turns very green after that last one, "I'll...I'll just see myself out." He said awkwardly..."

...

Rainbow Dash sighed, "Over hundred applicants...and over a hundred losers."

"Now come on dear, that's not...COMPLETELY true." Said Rarity delicately.

Twilight sighed, "Okay, girls...I'm starting to think this wasn't the most optimal way to find a mate..."

"Yah don't say?" Snarked Applejack sarcastically.

Twilight piled up all her paperwork, "I suppose it was too much to hope for that it would be so easy...in hindsight I don't really know what I was expecting...a long, tall handsome Stallion would just come in here and sweep us off our feet? I mean, come on! How unlikely is-"

Suddenly Tempest(AKA Fizzlepop Berrytwist) burst into the room. "The statue of the Storm King! It's been stolen!" She immediately had the mane Six's attention. If the storm King got free of his curse...

"Wait, refresh my memory...who was the Storm King again?"

"He was the one who conquered your home!" Stated Tempest flatly.

"I thought that was you..."

"No, I was his second in command..."

"Really? You seemed to REALLY know what you were doing, great leadership skills and everything-

"Well...he was kinda lazy, he more or less had me do the 'heavy lifting of the invas- Look, that's not important! What is importnat is this!" She shows them the note that was found where the statue used to be.

 **Hey ladies!**

 **Sorry I forgot my Resume!**

 **I hope you'll accept the defeat a tyrant instead?**

 **Meet me at the address written on the back!**

 **Sincerely, Dipper Pines...**

"DUM! DUM! DUM!" Shouted Pinkie dramatically, while everyone looked at her weird...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	270. A pig or a friend? 28: RasenganFin

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

Gamelover41592: Thank you

...III...

Dipper calmly handed the Plaidipus to Wendy, "I couldn't win you that panda duck so... here."

Wendy thanked Dipper and cuddled the cute flannel creature as she, Dipper and Pacifica walked out of the woods from a rather...uneventful outing.

"Is it...WEIRD that I'm disappointed that this whole trip went without a hitch and nothing really happened for once?" Asked Pacifica confused.

Wendy shrugged, unsure.

Dipper, busy reading the map sighed, "Tell me about it, I blow my entire clothes budget to buy extra-strong clothes designed specifically to NOT be ripped apart, and the first mission I take it on...nothing happens? What a gyp!"

Pacifica and Wendy give each other knowing, mischievous smirks.

They cluster around dipper, "Oh, don't worry Dipper. I think we can help you with that disappointment." Said Wendy happily.

Dipper looks up confused, "Really? How?"

 **RIP!**

In one fluid motion, his shirt was ripped off his back in two separate directions, before he could even properly register this: The girls then proceed to grab his pants and boxers and rip them clean off his body.

Dipper blushed and used his hat to cover his groin.

"Hate to tell you...but I think you got RIPPED off Dipper." Teased Wendy.

Dipper sighed, "So...your not really even TRYING to justify this anymore? Come on guys! Seriously, I'm running out of clothes! Wendy's mom was nice enough to alter them...but she told me that she had a limited amount of fabric...you keep this up, I'll have to walk around naked for the rest of the summer!"

"Wow...you really stink at dissuading people." Giggled Pacifica.

Before Dipper could protest, Wendy gives him a soda.

Thirsty, Dipper obliges...and colors start to swirl in his vision...

You See, earlier that day Gompers had stolen Wendy's bag of chips and lures her into Mabels room, she's only going inside because she paid for the snack cause there were customers around and she was very hungry so she didn't knick a snack in her usual Wendy way. As she's chasing the Goat she knocks down one of Mabels scrap books which falls open and a few packs of Smile Dip are found inside and Wendy sees them. Now Wendy is upset at this, not because Mabel did something stupid(they'd mostly worked through what Mabel did at the fair), or because Mabel has made her mad, it's because Mabel got really messed up on the Smile Dip after stuffing her pockets with extras and it was incredibly dangerous. Wendy takes the Smile Dip and puts the Scrap Book back perfectly...and slipped it into a soda.

Dipper acts very drunk-like, dropping his hat and exposing himself to the now very happy girls...and on their suggestion, begins to do a naked Lamby dance...

"Who wants a lamby...Lamby?"

 **"WE DO!"**

Shouts the girls happily as Dipper goeas through a dip trip(1)...

As they walk home they see that Tambry is having another party...and before they could stop him, a dip-tripping and naked Dipper runs inside like a loon-

 **WHOA! HOT LAMBY, COMING THROUGH!**

 **YOU GO MR. FUN TIME!**

Tambry giggled, "Nice 'rod' of 8000+ Charisma Dipper! This is going straight to the internet..." She streams it before Wendy can stop her.

The girls groan...they'd just wanted to have some crazy fun...but now they'd completely humiliated Dipper!

Deciding to bite the bullet, Wendy slipped more Smile Dip into the punch. And she and Pacifica strips to nothing when everyone else is dip tripping...

...

The girls(still naked) slip away while the party goer's burn down Tambry's house...and the surrounding houses...and a police car...carrying Dipper...

Dipper groans... he is Wonky and delirious keeps complimenting her saying she's very nice very strong, she can be very scary at times but he really likes that and says he's not sure why.

Finally he starts talking about her body. "Wendy you are SO pretty! I love your hair, when we run from stuff it's like fire!" Wendy blushes, "Thanks Dip..."

"I love your freckles, I've always loved Freckles on a girl the more the better and you are COVERED in them." He also points out. "Really? I've always been teased for them." Says Wendy, "Your smile is so bright and your body! Oh my god you are SO HOT! I love the curves of your butt, it is so big! But in a good way! Not I'm gonna kill the dog if I sit on the couch big. It's perfect! And so are your breasts! Their so bubly and bouncy! And you know what? I really like it when I get to see you with your clothes off. It's been happening a lot lately which is weird but super awesome. Wendy I wish I could date you... but there's no way I'm good enough..."

Wendy is of course shocked and asks if he means it and Dipper says "Of course I mean it Wendy... I've been in love with you since you showed us the Roof Hang out." Wendy is taken back by Dippers tripped out declaration of love and her own feelings are a hurricane inside her...

And of course poor Pacifica is devastated...

"But then Pacifica...I'm feeling guilty...but i think I'm starting to like her too..."

Both girls freeze up at that...

"I'm so proud of her! She's become such a good person!...and she looks hot naked too...she might not be as developed as Wendy...but in a way that makes her cuter in her own way...I maybe STACKED now...but I remember what it's like to be 'inadequate' where society felt it 'counted'...don't worry Pacifica! Your SEXY! Anyone, who says otherwise...I'll throw them into the bottomless pit!"

The girls were left flustered by Dipper's ramblings...

But before they could give it more thought...Dippers Trip goes dark when he starts hallucinating Nightmares as Wendy and Paciifca rush him to his bed and try to assure him he's going to be alright...

Mable doesn't see the later...she just sees the two naked girls carrying her equally naked Brother- she pauses to vomit -upstairs...and sighs...

True, hostilities between her and the group had(mostly) ceased and they were actively trying to fix the gap...but she was STILL being left off missions...partially because the girls had no humor toward her goofing off or teasing Dipper..but mostly she just wasn't comfortable with being around her brother when striped naked...while girls are naked...for obvious reasons that made her uncomfortable...but still despite the good things that had happened...she still felt that the gap between her and her dipping sauce was still growing...

She sighed and headed back to bed...

The Next Morning Dipper wakes up with a Headache and no recollection of what happened, just emotions during memory blurs. First he would feel Calm... then excitement... then happiness!... before incredible fear. Each coinciding with the way Dipper felt as he began remembering talking about Wendy to Wendy before the Dip Trip went south...

While he nursed the hangover...the two most important girls in his life...were having a VERY personal talk with each other...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **(1): Rasenaganfin came up with this term, credit goes to him!**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	271. Wendy the Cougar 4

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

RasenganFin: Eh, I went with it.

Wicked.A: 1. He wasn't going home regardless... 2. gotcha

...III...

Due to his mild concussion Dipper is laid down on his bed to rest. Meanwhile a mortified Wendy is frantic for clothes and since Manly Dan and his sons are cutting trees at the other side of the Valley, Wendy can't go home to change.

And unfortunately the only thing Stan has in her size is...

"Wait, Why do you have a French Maids outfit?" Asked Mable.

"Hey! I don't pry into your personal life? Do I?" He snapped.

Which only gets Mable MORE curious...

"Do you wear it?"

"We both know that's impossible." Said Stan looking at his belly.

"Is it from an old girlfriend's wardrobe?"

"That's it! No dessert for you for a week!"

"Awwww..."

In any case, Wendy had no other option...

Thankfully, Stan showed Mercy and allowed her to stay upstairs with Dipper and away from prying eyes(it probably helped that Wendy's nudity had already wracked him thousands).

Wendy felt embarrassed being in this outfit...but seeing Dipper sleeping...all sprawled out and adorable...maybe she could have some fun with this...

She lays down next to him.

"Hey, sexy. Want to have some fun." She teases with a giggle.

She brings out an eclair. "Want to watch me eat this big one, big boy?" She laughs at her own cheesy dialogue.

She runs her tongue up and own the unintentionally phallic shaped dessert

"First I'll wet the dough to avoid it ripping and spilling it's cream ALL over me." She says in a mock suggestive voice.

She then nibbles on the 'tip. "Then I'll gently suck on the tip to break the shell, then I'll be able to keep it all contained with my lips."

Suddenly it gushes a bit, but Wendy just laughs and goes with it, "Whoa! Too tight of a grip! No matter, I'll loosen my grip and carefully guide the spill back in...And then I'll stick my tongue into the hole slowly...and suck the cream out halfway." She dose just that, with the loudest slurp imaginable.

Wendy recovers from her laughing fit and continues...

"Now I can suck the rest of the eclair without having to bite it, that way it won't blow up all over me..."

As she slurps...she freezes as she hears a whimper...

Dreading, what she was about to see...she slowly turns around and sees a fully wide-awake and flustered Dipper...who was gaping at her in stunned disbelief.

"Uh..."

"GOTTA GO!" Shouts a mortified Wendy as she runs from the room...

Dipper just lays there in silence...desperately trying to process what he just witnessed... "What the FRACK just happened?" Asked Dipper out loud...

...

Wendy...avoided Dipper for the next few days...

Mable looked at this confused... "What's up with Wendy?"

Dipper awkwardly recaps what occurred in his bedroom...

Mable scratches her head, "I don't get it...so she likes dessert, so what?"

Dipper sighs at his oblivious twin, Uh, Mable? ...Remember That video we found hidden under dad's bed...and Mom kicked dad out of the house after she learned we watched it?"

Mable looked at him confused...then thoughtful...then disgusted...then vomited...

To take their mind's off the unpleasantness, Stan takes them to the beach...

...

As it happens, Wendy is with her family at the beach. Wearing nothing but her red one-piece She awkwardly watches the drama that unfolds that eventually leads to the twins and Soos heading off to Scuttlebut island.

As much as she wants to join them...she's wondering if she should...it wasn't just the embarrassing 'fake seduction' fiasco... what she felt for Dipper...he was YOUNGER then her for crying out loud! No good could ever-

"Wendy!? Why do you keep looking at that boat!?" Snapped her dad.

Wendy broke free of her daydream, and quickly exclaimed. "Uh, the boat! My lov- FRIEND! Dipper is on it!"

One of her brothers snickers, "Have ANOTHER crush already sis?"

she responds by then grabs her dads hunting knife from his leg holster, holds it to said brothers throat-

"Say that again?" She dared...he wisely keeps his mouth shut.

...Unfortunately the damage was already done...

"WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT A CRUSH!?"

Wendy dived into the lake and swam as fast as she could before her dad could build up anymore momentum...

...

Without meaning to, Wendy found herself swimming next to Soo's boat. At first she figured she'd just hang back and observe...and then Mable started to blackmail Dipper by throwing out his cameras-

Angrily, Wendy grabs the camera before it falls into the water and pulls herself onboard. "Dang it Mable! These things are expensive! And this was a pretty solid plan Dipper, came up with! He more then deserves to be Captain! What have you done!?" She snaps.

Mable is stunned, no one had ever yelled at her in defense of Dipper before!

Dipper was stunned as well...although, it was more seeing his crush come out of the water drenched and wearing swimsuit...

Wendy smirks at his adorably flustered face, "So...can I be co-captain?" She teases.

Dipper gulps, trying VERY hard to not look at her soaked and almost popping out breasts.

"Uh...Okay, sure."

Wendy giggled at Dipper's poor attempt to look cool and NOT show how interested in her chest he is...and then the moment is gone and she remembers that once more she's back in close quarters with the boy she had a huge, inappropriate and unexplained sexual attraction to...

Needless to say she quickly excused herself to other side of the boat, feeling bored but not wanting to go to where Dipper was...she started rummaging around the supplies, she saw Dipper's bag and rummaged through that to see if she could learn more about the journal...

Sadly, it seemed it was with Dipper and there was nothing in here except lint and...hello? What's this?

...oh, never mind, it was just a shopping list...

"Huh, wow. I was right, it was expensive to buy all those cameras...and a XXXXXS custom made sports cup?! What!?"

She blushes at the implication of such an item...specifically why her...LITTLE friend would buy one. She tries to shake her head of such thoughts, tries to rationalize that for all she knew Dipper had bought the cup for some supernatural related thing she wasn't privy too...

Still...she was curious...her hormones were more unnaturally charged then usual...and...well...there was a reason she and Tambry became the bane of guys throughout Gravity Falls...there was more then one guy who'd been forced to run home naked...'CFNM' lovers indeed...

...

Dipper didn't know why...bu he was suddenly regretting only wearing swim trunks today...and felt the need to tie his drawstring EXTRA tight...

...Not that it would do him any good...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	272. A pig or a friend? 29: Rasenganfin

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

Wicked.A: Uh...yes, he is. 'S' means SMALL. and 'X' means EXTRA.

RasenganFin: thanks...and how so?

The Howling Behemoth: thank you

Gamelover41592: Thank you

...III...

It was a grand day before the Woodstick festival; hipsters were singing, Grunkle Stan was chasing hipsters off the property with rocks, Soos was live-chatting with Melody, and Dipper had just walked on his future mother-in-law coming out of the restroom-

 **GAH!**

-completely naked. Mary Corduroy- fresh out of the shower -smirked at her daughter's future boyfriend squealed in shock. "Relax buddy! Now you get to see what your girlfriend will look like in a couple years, you lucky stud!" she teases as she posses provocatively.

Dipper's brain was in shutdown...

"Hey, here's a trick I taught Wendy a couple years back!" She grabbed a HUGE walnut...and crushed it with just the raw strength of her but cheeks...at the same time she bounces a nickle off her breasts...repeatedly...from one to the other...

 **RIP!**

Even Dipper's custom made pants coudn't keep stable as his newest bulge rips them in two, completely exposing him.

...and that was the scene Wendy walked in on, "Hey mom have you seen Dip- WHAT THE BLOOD ARE YOU DOING MOM!?"

Mary was too busy whistling appreciatively at the size of Dipper's junk, "Dang sweetie! Your so lucky! Even your daddy's got nothing on this!" she laughs.

Wendy naturally grabs an axe and chases he still laughing mom...while Dipper just faints...

...

Mable was depressed. Dipper had gone on an adventure to the badlands involving a 'torch of Tiga' with the other girls...and this time he hadn't even ASKED if she wanted to come- True, she probably would've said no since a new Ducktective was on- but still, he could have at least ASKED!

And then there was that whole thing last week with the weird mailbox...did Wendy and Pacifica HAVE to yell at her like that? Seriously, what kinda Debbie downer didn't like gummy worms shoved up their nose? They should be thanking her for interrupting their experiment and severing their connection Mr. Grumpy!

She toyed with her hashbrowns at the diner halfheartedly... if only they'd get off her case! If only they'd bother some other boy by just one day! Just one day with her and her dipping sauce...like they used to be...was that too much to ask?

Suddenly, a weird fat man roars into the room!

"LOVE GOD!" Cheered everyone.

He Starts up the jukebox with a single thump. "That's what they call me. We're rewriting history tonight, and it starts with- He points at a male patron and a female employee- you and you!" The man and woman look at each other and start kissing. "Love is real and it's in your face!"

He goes around performing similar miracles while an interested Mable watches...

A quick chat reveals the Love 'god's' true nature, he even makes a Badger and a snake to prove his point

"That could have been concentrated Badger and Snake Pheromones, those things are everywhere!" Says Mable dismissively...her eye's widen in surprise and she thinks _'Wow I sound like Dipper right now!'_...this causes her to shudder and feel- (retch) - _mature!_

So when the Love God tells her to suggest a real challenge Mabel takes him to the News Casting table where Shandra Jimenez is seated and Toby Determined is skulking nearby determined to talk to her. Turns out the Number Gideon gave Toby in the altered Timeline was fake just like the real one.

Mabel tells the Love God that if he can get Shandra Jimenez to be romantically involved with Toby, then he's the real deal.  
"Sorry Supernatural and Magical Creatures are immune to my Love Powers. That THING won't be affected." Said Love God with a shrug.

"What do you mean thing?" Asked Mable confused

"That thing right there. I've seen some pretty bizarre creatures before in my travels but that thing takes the cake."

"That's Toby Determined! He's human!"

The Love God frowns and stares at Toby for 5 minutes before...

"Are you sure he's human? It looks like a Goblin."

"Just do it already! Geez!"

And so he dose, while a horrified diner watches Shandra make-out with a now catatonic Toby Mable's mind races with possibilities...

 _"This could be just what I needed! I'll dose Wendy and Pacifica with this stuff and have them go to other guys! If it doesn't work out I can just use the Anti-love to to turn them back! If it dose work out...well, I'll probably be doing them a favor! Wendy and Dipper would've never worked out! And Pacifica...social differences! Yeah, social differences! She's rich, he's poor...that's...that's probably an issue!...why not? I'll even put love potion on another girl to keep Dipper company! A better girl!...like Candy! She's sweet, intelligent, funny, and she won't but in on my alone time with Dipper! She's perfect! Everyone wins! Great idea Mable! thanks Mable!"_

While the love god was distracted getting his face signed, Mable stole his love and anti-love potion.

She then made some calls.

She'd have Wendy meet up with...wow, there was a shortage of non-jerk guys her age around town, wasn't there? ...okay...Oh, Robbie! He's been miserable lately...after Wendy told him she never wanted to see him again...maybe all he needed was a second chance? Sure, why not!?

Pacifica...bit more trickey...especially considering her justification- Her CONCERN! She meant her concern...Her CONCERN was there social class...so the boy would need to be rich...or at least rich-ish...what about Gabe Bensen!? He owned a business!...sorta...whatever, it was close enough! Besides, she'd been considering taking him for herself. so really...She was being VERY generous to Pacifica here!

So she called Pacifica and Wendy down to the diner, called Robbie down on the pretense of a free guitar give-away, and Gabe on the pretense of a puppet-con.

She stays long enough to make sure all four are there and that chili fries with her 'special' sauce get sent to their table, she sees both girls begin to eat and the two boys come in. Satisfied, she hops off to find Candy. She had to hurry before all the Woodstick tickets were gone after all!

...needless to say after she left...her 'perfect' plan... fell apart.

First, although Gabe and Robbie did enter...they almost immediately left.

Gabe because he wasn't a blind fool, immediately realized that there were no puppets here and dismissed the call as a prank...

And Robbie...when he saw Wendy he remembered her very creative threat of 'I'll shove you up your own but if you ever touch Dipper or come near me again'...and quickly ran for his life before she could see him...

Another false assumption Mable made was she assumed that only 'straight' pairings could occur...

Hey guys! Nice to see you! You ready for the big festival?!" Shouted Tambry excited as she walked over to her friends.

The two girls looked up from their meals to greet her...only to suddenly look at her with flustered, dumbstruck...LUSTFUL faces.

Tambry backed away from these faces nervously, "Uh...guys? you okay?"

...10 seconds later...

A naked Tambry screams as she runs from the diner with nothing but a few scraps of fabric to hold up to barely conceal her nudity...chased by two very amorous girls who were still arguing...

 **SHE's MINE!**

 **You don't have the womanhood to handle a girl like that!**

Something the love god forgot to mention...if the person has pent up sexual desires...it gets tripled and let loose all at once...and after weeks with hanging out with a hung and almost constantly naked Dipper...these girls had that in spades...

Meanwhile, an oblivious Mable skips happily to give Candy and Dipper the love potion...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	273. A pig or a friend? 30: RasenganFin

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

Wicked.A: right back at you, merry Christmas

RasenganFin: It's about to get worse...

Gamelover41592: yep

Zoryan El Muerto:

NyaNyaKittyFace: Speak and I'll put in a good word for you...

...III...

Mary walked through the pre-assembled Woodstick stadium...thinking about the conversation she'd had with her daughter earlier...

...earlier...

"Oh Danny is a lamb!"

"With you mom! Anyone else he's a hulking mass of muscles that can and will crush a beer keg on his forehead. If dad finds out Dipper saw you naked, fresh out of the shower, he will kill him! Mom I lo- really like him!"

Wendy starts crying and throws herself into her moms arms and they reconcile before remembering Mary is still naked and awkwardly gets her a modesty Towel.

...

Mary is broken from her thoughts as the naked bodies of her daughter and the daughter of her rich friend run past her chasing the equally naked Tambry.

Mary just shrugs this off as 'Usual Gravity Falls weirdness' and turns to an equally nonchalant Priscilla who also brushes off the scene as she shows up. She then turns to Mary and Asks: "wanna get drunk?"

"Does a bear crap in the woods?"

...

"Candy, leave me alone!" Screamed a naked Dipper as he fled Candy.

 **GIVE ME BABIES SEMPAI!**

Screamed the love-sick and naked Candy.

For those just tuning in, Dipper- thanks to various elixirs he'd experimented on -was(among other things) immune to the love potion. Candy, was not...and the attempted to ravish him...Dipper was able to escape...at the expense of his modesty...

The People of Gravity Falls were sorta used this thing by now- well, Dipper's 'thing' anyway.

"Looking good hot stuff!"

"How's your 'third leg' doing Dr. Funtime!?"

"Where you thinking of planting that 'mighty oak' next, sexy?"

"Shake that foot-long sausage you naughty thing!"

"Do the helicopter! Do the helicopter!"

"Up periscope? More like up Washington monument!"

Dipper went bright red from these comments...and from the rear slaps, rear pinches, and pictures that were taken of him. You'd think he'd be used to this by now...but it was still embarrassing...

...although...the breeze was nice...

In any case, when it looked like he'd lost her for the second, he jumped into a barrel to hide...

...Only to find an equally naked Tambry already hiding in there...

The naked and awkward adolescents blushed at the sight of each other...

Tambry had seen Dipper naked before- like a crazy amount of times -but this was the first time she'd been naked with him, add in the fact she knew her best friend had a thing for him...very awkward situation...

And Dipper just knew that the sexy best friend of his crush was in a confined space with his equally naked self...also awkward...

They try to lighten the situation by both nervously compliment the others assets.

"Nice Bazooka there Dipper."

"Nice Torpedoes Tambers."

Anyone else had call her that, she'd be ticked...but he'd kinda earned it, saving her and Wendy so many times...plus hearing this surprisingly studly kid say that nickname...kinda flattering really...

With the ice broken, they gradually have a conversation...with no other real connection they begin to discuss Wendy and Tambry tells Dipper how Wendy saw the funniest cute boy when they were little, and despite how funny he was the boy was the most impressive guy she ever met...

Dippers thinking _'yeah that's me after a time travel bungle stripped naked and forced to walk around town with my Bazooka hanging out. I felt so ashamed nakedly bumping into the little girl form of the woman I love.'_

While he was thinking this Tambry notices that while Dippers is blushing...he wasn't getting hard.

Bazooka isn't ready to fire he looks at her blushing but isn't getting harder he says

"Hey, funtime. What's wrong with your bazoka? You forget to polish it? I looks limp." She teased.

Dipper went even redder, "I guess I have a type, you're just not it. I'm sorry Tambry."

"It's okay Dr Funtimes. I just figured any guy would be excited to see any girl naked."

"Certainly not Grenda. But I like really nice girls with certain hair colors, and freckles. Plus Grenda could break my bones. I should know I was in her body during an experiment for about 5 minutes, I grabbed a chair and splintered it in a heartbeat."

Tambry nodded but then adjusted her legs as they were falling asleep-

And accidentally gave Dipper proof that her purple hair was completely natural-

 **SPROING!**

 **CRACK!**

Which evidently, was just what Dipper needed to put the 'fire' in his 'Bazooka', Tambry couldn't help but laugh as Dipper's erection broke right through the barrel-

 **BUMP!**

Said laugh turns to a shriek as Dipper's bulge pushes the barrel away from the wall and causes it to fall over and roll down the street with incresing speed-

 **CRACK!**

 **GAH!**

 **OW!**

 **WHY!?**

Which was really bad for Dipper since the tip of his junk was outside of the barrel and kept getting whacked by the pavement...

Tambry just clung to a now sobbing Dipper for dear life...

Oh, and Toby finally found his sock...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	274. A pig or a friend? 31: RasenganFin

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

RasenganFin: I like it, I'll slip it in next chapter.

contrast: ...not really.

NyaNyaKittyFace: Wow...can't really do that in this story...another story on the other hand...

The Howling Behemoth: 1: ...I have no idea how to do that... 2. thank you

...III...

While Mary and Priscilla were drinking... "Hey, how come you never had more kids?" Asks Mary.

Priscilla replies that she isn't as tough as Mary is- having 4 kids by Manly Dan proves it. Just having Pacifica was rough on her, and she pities the hooha of their friend Lilly for having Dipper and Mabel... especially Mabel.

After downing more alcohol she admits that she's considered more children... but is afraid that with Pacifica's rebellious attitude towards Preston lately that Preston would cut her off from the will immediately...before then training their new child to be as much of a jerk he is.

By not having more kids Pacifica stays in the will and is the only hope for the Northwest family- Priscilla then gets chills saying that and downs more hooch to get the taste out of her mouth...

...

Dipper whimpers...his poor balls and bazooka...they'd been all messed up and bleeding. and because his hands got jammed in the barrel as it smashed on the pavement...Tambry had to bandage it herself with some improvised rags...this would be awkward enough...however thanks to the 'sneak peaks' of her 'hidden **purple** garden'...his bazooka kept going to full mast which made the bleeding worse!

A flustered Tambry tries to suggest that they dodge their chasers by going into the sewers but Dipper protests "With my junk all scuffed and bleeding, I'm likely to get infected down there, I don't want it to be amputated!"

Tambry mumbles quietly, "yeah neither does Wendy..."

So they keep to the Shadows...

"This would be easier if we at least had clothes, we need to find somewhere that-

 **CRACK!**

Tambry looks behind her in shock seeing Dipper just knock down an oblivious Robbie from behind, "What? He was a jerk, he had it coming." Said Dipper as pulled the hoodie off to wear and takes Robbie's belt to fasten his bazooka up against his chest so its not hanging out.

Dipper then pulls out Robbie's Wallet and asks Tambry for her clothes size before going to retrieve her a shirt and pants from a vendor. When Tambry asked why they sold to a kid wearing nothing but an oversized hoodie Dipper just shrugged, "They're Fair Vendors, I had Cash. This isn't a rare occurrence for them for some odd reason."

 **HEY!**

They look over and see Wendy and Pacifica run toward Tambry, lust making their eyes wild-

Unfortunately, their need for stealth had them had in a dead-end back alley, Tambry throws herself against the wall in fear...which causes Dipper to once again get a god look at her 'garden' which-

 **POP!**

 **RIP!**

Dipper once more cried in pain as his mighty bazooka snapped the belt in two and broke free...as well as more of his blood...

At the sight of a VERY familiar anatomy from the man they REALLY loved...both girls snapped right out of the spell, "What the...were we...were we trying to-

"I'm so sorry Dipper! I don't know what came over us!" They try to run to Dipper, forcing him to shout out- "NO HUGS!" Which both girls are confused and saddened by, but Tambry quickly explains its for his own health which they understand...

LOVE ME SEMPAI!

Shouts a still love struck Candy as she runs out of the darkness to a surprised Dipper-

 **WHACK!**

-And right into Mary Corduroy's frying pan. "Right, that's enough of that..." Picks up Candy's unconscious form while she spits on the ground... "Let's go chew out your bitch sister..."

...

Mary finds and quickly slurs angrily at Mabel. Saying that her mother Lilly is almost exactly like her but she would never once try to separate friends for such a petty reason.

Mabel retorts that Dipper won't spend any time with her and he's been distant with her ever since the fair.

Mary then asks her if she's done anything to make Dipper not want to spend time with her. Mabel thinks and remembers stuff... but she dismisses it saying that Dipper always comes back to her.

That's when Mary drops the truth bomb: that Mrs Pines sent them up for Dipper to make friends and for Mabel to learn to do stuff without Dipper and be responsible...

Mable is stunned by that...which gives Mary the opportunity she needs to strip her naked. For that's her punishment, she can still go to the Lovestick festival...but she has to do so nude...

A mortified Mable pleads for lenience...but she get's no sympathy...

The only one who sides with her is Candy. She understands that Mabel meant well but things went awry... also she's still attracted to Dipper after seeing his angry attitude and bulge for the first time but she keeps that to herself.

Wendy ghas a quick chat with Tambry.

"So...you were naked with Dipper for awhile..."

"Relax Wendy, he's cute...but his life is too crazy for me...also not a huge fan of the nudity. He's all your's."

Wendy smiles as she and her friends go to rock out at the festival...

...Meanwhile...

Preston smirks, "Won't be long now..." He looks up at a strange tapestry depicting a demonic Triangle, "Soon, everything will be mine once more..."

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	275. A pig or a friend? 32: RasenganFin

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

RasenganFin: ...I don't get it

Gamelover41592: ...it's about to hit the fan, yep.

NyaNyaKittyFace: ...I think something can be arranged...

fereality: thank you

coyoteprime1100: (Discussed on PM)

...III...

The girls and Dipper walk to a secluded area to have a picnic...and maybe some Crystal mushrooms if they have time. Dipper just nervously trudges along wearing his strongest clothes in many layers.

He worries it might not be enough though, especially since he now suspects the girls may very well be complicit to his humiliation...and might now be scheming to strip him once again.

...but actually for once, they weren't...

Yesterday, after Tambry referred to his junk as a 'Bazooka' in front of them. They had a good laugh over this, while Dipper thought it just humiliating, also it's been hurt and he's holding himself back from crying. Wendy saw the insecurity building inside him and then noticed Lee, signaling him to come over.

Lee greeted Dipper as Dr Funtimes and said he hadn't seen him since the Convenience Store.

Then Lee saw Dippers bulge and Wendy quickly says "Yeah I think it's something in the water but Dipper's hit puberty HARD. Before he was a Water Pistol, now he's a bazooka!" proudly. Lee- being an upstanding guy -tells Dipper he's got to be proud of that thing and he's gonna have to beat the ladies off with a stick, or with his tool, his choice.

But even after Wendy made him feel better about it's proud name he still holds back tears from the pain. She sees this and thinks _"Oh no, his poor Bazooka... why am I worried about his hog? Because I'm his best friend that's why! Still it took some serious punishment today. And the streets have some dangerous litter... I saw Katana's on the street earlier this month! He's lucky the head is still on!"_

Wendy then decided to take Pacifica aside and tell her they need to avoid letting Dipper be hurt which also meant avoid situations where his clothes come off. For while it WAS entertaining, Dipper's emotionally/physical brutalizing by the constant unwilling nudity/injury and asks her if she really wants Dipper to break down one day.

Pacifica admitted that she doesn't want to see that and agrees that they needed to stop humiliating him... Of course that didn't stop the forces of Gravity Falls from doing it to him which they repeatedly reiterate that they didn't want to happen-

 **ROAR!**

-but as we all know, Gravity Falls **doesn't** care what we WANT.

The Kill Billy attacks Dipper first knocking him off a cliff only barely grabbing a tree growing off the cliff face.

Pacifica tries to rescue Dipper while Wendy pulls out an Axe to fight off the kill billy, however the Kill billy threw something at Wendy's face, obscuring her vision for a crucial moment as the kill billy punches her in the stomach, knocking her back several feet-

 **CRASH!**

 **GAH!**

Right into a hunched over Pacifica! they both fall head over heels off the cliff. A still blind Wendy grabs on to Dipper as they fall down, causing him to squeal in pain. Pacifica quickly grabs on to Wendy's pant's-

 **RIP!**

Wendy Now wearing nothing but the air below the belt, Pacifica is forced to simply hang on by the red-head's feet.

Said Red-head finally took off the weird thing that was obscuring her face...only to be shocked to see it was Dipper's shorts and underwear! _"Wha? Huh, that jerk must'a ripped it off when he tossed Dipper off the cliff...wait, if he's naked below the waist...then what I'm I holding onto-_

And then she saw it...she was currently grasping Dipper's erect bazooka...and he was clearly in pain...and it was starting to go limp...

"Come on Dipper don't go soft on us now!" Screamed the girls "That really isn't helping!" screamed Dipper who was frantically trying to think 'sexy thoughts' through the agony of his schlong and balls getting stretched out...but it was clearly a losing battle

The girls frantically acted as sexy as possible, they tried to flirt, then graphically describes numerous sexual things they wanted to do to Dipper, and finally they got so desperate they ripped off their remaining clothes and exposed themselves to him...

But it was all for nothing...too much weight...too much pain...and with one final whimper...Dipper went limp...and Gravity took care of the rest...

 **RIP!**

The two naked girls screamed as they fell to their death...

Dipper screamed as his balls and wiener were ripped clean off his body...

The Kill Billy eyed this whole event hungrily...

 **...TO BE CONTINUED?...**

...III…...

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	276. A great big cluster F--- 4

**A great big ClusterF*** 4**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...III...

...Responses...

Gamelover41592: yep

RasenganFin: (shrug) Eh, I wanted to give you a surprise.

Wicked.A: No he's alive...barely...

The Howling Behemoth: yep...so how are you?

...

Bright Mac Apple and his wife Pear Butter were going up the mountain to make a very important cider delivery to 'Yourgonnadiebecausetheplotdemandsit-burg'- so named as the person who discovered it; Simon 'Onlyimportantbecausehewillcreateacitywhichwillindirectlyonedayaffectsomeoneofactuallimportancetotheworld' came from a long line of pink pony meta-benders.

They passed briefly by a sign that pointed to the bridge ahead and said; **BRIDGE TO Yourgonnadiebecausetheplotdemandsit-burg OUTSTANDING!  
**

"Well, golly! Were making good time! We should be done and heading home to our loving family within a couple hours!"

Excited to get this over with and go home the eager couple quickly ran toward the bridge-

 **SQUAWK!**

The couple looked up just in time to see Granny Smith's personal messenger bird fly toward them.

"Huh, Granny usually doesn't bother us during a delivery..." Said Pear Butter out loud.

-Unless it's important." Finished Big Mac thoughtfully...the shrugs. "Eh, I'm feeling a might bit peckish in any case. How about we take a lunch break to read it?"

"Uh excuse me? Do you mind if old Gil goes on ahead of you?" Asks a rather ragged pony with a cutie mark of a black cat going beneath a ladder from behind their apple cart.

"Sure, go on ahead!" Said Pear Butter happily.

"Oh, thank you!" Shouts the pony as he prances on toward the bridge. "Oh, you don't know what this means to old Gil! I've had a rough life, but in the next town over I've got an opportunity to finally turn my life around and finally retire happily! Nothing's gonna stop old Gil now!"

 **CRACK!**

And just like that, the bridge falls completely apart and the unfortunate Pony falls to his death.

The Apple couple gaped, "What in tarnation-

"What's going on here?!" Shouts a rather rotund pony in a business suite as he trots quickly toward where the mighty bridge once clung. He looks toward the sign and groans, "Oh for the love of- AGAIN!?" He shouts as he quickly bucks off the 'standing' bit. Leaving only; ' **BRIDGE TO Yourgonnadiebecausetheplotdemandsit-burg OUT!'**

"That's the fifth time a sign has been botched this week! That's it! I don't care if he's my brother-in-law! He's fired!"

While the politician goes down to the corpse to look for identification to alert his next of kin...and 'spin' the story of the disaster to best suite him...the couple tries to get their mind off what nearly happened by reading Granny Smiths letter...

Soon all thought of the bridge and the unfortunate pony's fate were quickly forgotten! Their little Sugar cube was a princess! They quickly canceled the delivery and ran home...oblivious to fate that would've befallen them in another universe...

...

Celestia and her entourage navigated the Crevice. Eventually Celestia was forced to create an opening to continue downward...

 **CRACK!**

Unfortunately, despite Celestia's best efforts to be cautious, it was still enough to destabilize the area and cause a landslide...

Thankfully, no one got hurt. But the opening had been sealed up, and Celestia deemed it too dangerous to go that way again. So for better or for worse...there was NO going back...

They found an ancient, massive series of scaffolds- Apparently left behind by a previous expedition of humans -Which they then begin to use to climb the rest of the way down.

However, as they went further down...feelings of apprehension increased. Although the ponies were reassured that Celestia would guide the way...they couldn't help but be concerned over facing such a mysterious new adversary...

And the two humans didn't even have that comfort! They were deeply worried not only themselves but their families! The 'Supreme leader' was EXTRA brutal to traitors...including their families...

While Tyrone was doing his own thing, Wendy took this opportunity to talk to Celestia about what was to be expected.

"Hey, your majesty? Uh...what exactly is the plan here?"

"Why I intend to open diplomatic relations with Eagleland, tell him that I do not condone his current domestic policies or his attempts to kill me and my citizens. It will then be my hope that we sit down and negotiate our current situation out." Stated Celestia warmly with a smile.

Wendy frowned at that, "Uh...okay, we have made it clear that he's not exactly the most reasonable of guy's, right? That he's more likely to shoot you down with his thousands of soldiers, right?"

Celestia draped a comforting wing over the clearly worried teen. "Worry not my dear, there is a reason why I historically use champions to fight on my behalf when I really should do so myself."

She smirked, "I believe the Griffins said it best. You don't hunt rabbits with ballista's." She said with great wit.

Wendy just looked at her baffled, so Celestia continued...

"whenever I am forced to the frontlines. Forced to take matters into my own hands and confront the enemy myself, I know 1000 thousand different spells in different methods of Combat that could aide me. I've forgotten more ways to deal with my opponent then I remember.

"But the Voice In front of my mind. Not the back. it's the very first thought I always have before I engage in combat or try to think how to solve a problem. A solution I have to convince myself every time not to do...use the sun." She says that last bit with concern.

"I could easily wipe almost all of my problems out. Except for a rare few, not many can withstand having a star dropped right on them. Or having solar flares lash out at them as liberally is a pirate whips a mutineer... But the problem is if I do that, not only will all of my problems be erased so will everyone and everything else for miles around."

"I can only Direct it. I can't shrink it down or cut off a small piece of it. Those solar flares don't have pinpoint accuracy. If I use the sun offensively, it would destroy far more than I could ever consider an acceptable amount of Collateral Damage."

My sister and the elements in the past are what kept me from being tempted or go too far when I desired to use my first option. Without her rhythm I am far too dangerous, too tempted and far too Willing to go too far to be an asset instead of a liability. it's why I prefer diplomacy or shows of power that I would rather not have to follow through with."

And then Wendy was shocked from her stunned amazement, as the princess immediately caused a forcefield to appear around her.

"Also your friend Tyrone has briefed me of what to expect and gave me a forcefield powered and enhanced by my magic to defend me against bullets and other things."

Wendy smirked, "Yeah, Tyrone's a bit of an overachiever..." She says with a happy smile.

Celestia saw this and smiled back, "Is he your special somepony?"

Wendy blushed, "I...well...look, he was the only friend who didn't bail on me after me dumb report got my mom executed-

"Wait, I'm sorry to interrupt, but I thought that was when you were in first grade?" Asked Celestia confused.

Wendy shrugged, "I got held back a lot...teacher didn't like my 'attitude'." She admitted that last bit with a smirk. "...He never did find out who replaced his wig with a racoon."

Celestia laughed at that, and the two girls continued their conversation...

Meanwhile, with the guys...

"Okay, no one can see us. This is your chance. Push me off this scaffolding." Said Tyrone suddenly.

Shining Armor looked at the young human stunned, "What!?"

Tyrone double-checked their surroundings. "Look, your little sister almost died because of me. If someone did something like that to my siblings...just push me off, kill me here and you can just call it an accident..."

Shining just frowned at him for a moment...then pushes him off the scaffolding. Tyrone braces himself for his well-deserved death-

...and then Shinning catch him with his magic and brings him back to safety. Shining Armour then briefly dusts him off, "There. Done. No can we move on to what's actually important?"

Tyrone was stunned, "What? But I-

Shining Armour continued, "Unless you named that thing the 'Kill-a-filly-inator 3000' I doubt you actually knew what your superiors- y'know, the ones who would have killed you and everyone you loved if you didn't -would do. And When you found out what the thing was going to be used for, you throw all caution to the wind and decided to do something stupid, reckless and utterly and completely heroic..."

Shining puts a comforting hoof on the boys shoulder, "I wouldn't mind working with you one day when I graduated into the guards, those 'devices' you built could really come in handy!"

Tyrone was stunned...he was a hard time comprehending why the person who should hate him more then anyone...didn't..."

"By the way, you really shouldn't do this sort of thing without consulting your girlfriend..."

Tyrone blushed but came out of his stupor, "Wha- She's not my girlfriend... Then he sighs, "She's too out of my league anyway..."

Shining chuckled, "Man don't give up like that! Look at me! My girlfriend was a princesses and I won her over despite being nothing but an unpopular nerd who spent most of his time playing ogres and oubliettes with his friends in the basement..."

Dipper's ears perked with interest, "Ogres and oubliettes? Is that anything like Dungeons, dungeons and more dungeons?"

And thus sparked one of the weirdest friendships between the two most unlikely people...go figure...

...

"You let a little filly go to Manehatten all by her lonesome!?" Snapped Pear Butter angrily.

"Now hold on there! She was at that stage where her life was at a crossroads! I was just respecting her life choices is all!" Defended Granny Smith.

Bright Mac face-hooved, "Ma, your the matriarch of our clan. You've more then proven yourself a capable leader- But that dose not give you the authority to make such a decision for my child! ESPECIALLY without consulting me or Buttercup first!"

After scolding his Ma, Bright Mac went about organizing the rest of his Kin to head off for Canterlot for his daughter's coronation.

Meanwhile, Pear Butter sends off a letter...

...

Finally, they get to the outskirts of the city. At this time it was hard to see much of it. A great steel wall encircled the whole city. Having been told of the numerous defense systems, Shining quickly put up a shield to protect the entire group...bracing themselves for anything...they marched on...

...and on...and on...and on...and on?

"Something's wrong." Said Tyrone suddenly.

Shining looked toward his new friend while getting into a defensive stance, "What do you mean?" He asked cautiously.

"Were well in range of the sentry towers, they should've started blasting us by now!" Explained Tyrone.

"Begging your pardon, but why are you complaining that it's NOT?" Asked a guard irritably.

"No, Tyrone's right...something's off." Explained Wendy. "Look at the sky, none of the artificial sky looks like it's working."

Celestia remembers how they explained that there was an artificial sky built over Eagleland that was crafted to simulate the night/day cycle...she'd been interested to see such a thing for obvious reasons. But it seemed Wendy was right...the sky above the city was nothing but dark screens and other odd inert machines...

And as they got closer... "Okay, something is DEFINITELY up." Said Tyrone more then a little concerned...

The ponies just look confused at a mural on the outer wall depicting the Supreme leader...defaced and covered with the word 'LIAR' and 'HE BETRAYED US'.

"I take it this is unusual?" Asked Celestia.

"You could say that...there's a layer of dust over the paint so it's been here awhile...so the mural should've been fixed by now..." Observes Tyrone.

Becoming ever more anxious they continue on. They find a suspiciously unguarded trash chute, it takes some effort but as they enter inside-

"Sweet Faust, this place is in shambles! Did a war happen here!?" Exclaimed Shining in horrified disbelief as he beheld his first look of Eagleland...

"Uh...no, this is one of the poor district. it's always like this." Admits Wendy in resignation.

"Oh...wow...that's even more horrifying." Said Shining after a bit.

"Indeed." Groused Celestia as she crawled through the trash chute and beheld the grim sight herself. It was one thing to hear about simply from word of mouth, but to see it for herself...

The buildings looked like they'd been slapped together from garbage, the streets had sewage trickling down it's middle, and it smelled like someone died!...and Celestia wouldn't be surprised if someone did!

She was disgusted that a ruler would allow his subjects to wallow in such squalor. She put one hoof out of the chute to steady herself, Indeed she was seriously considering ditching the whole diplomatic approach and just-

 **DONG!**

The instant her hoof touched the ground, a large ringing sound reverberated throughout the city. And all who heard it- and KNEW what it meant...looked to the source in a mixture of dread...and maybe...hope?

Naturally the ponies were spooked, "What in the blazes was that?!" Demanded Shining.

"Hold on, let me check something." Said Tyrone as he brought out his laptop and began to hack the city grid, ordinarily this would take a while- even for him -but today-

"Whoa! What happened!? It's like the whole network has fallen to pieces! How- Nevermind, I'll figure it out later...I think I can still access- Got it!"

He showed a security camera he managed to hack and pointed at a...clock tower?

"Uh...what are we looking at?" Asked Shining confused.

"That's the nation's clock tower, it's hands never move...except when something BIG is about to happen- at least according to local superstition anyway. The last three times was the day before The 'Supreme Leader' came to power, the week before the Synth uprising and..."

Tyrone trailed off on that last one as he got a dark look on his face- "Well, it doesn't matter. What dose matter is that not only dose this show that us bringing you here might have bigger consequences then I thought...but look."

He points to the screen, "When we were here last, the clock was at 7:00...now it's 7:02. The clock only ever moves by 1 minute intervals so-

"It's moved not once but TWICE since you saw it last." Realized Celestia outloud, her inner-scholar was interested in this seemingly strange arcane building. But she knew there was no time to inquire of it, for if what they said was accurate...something else had happened while they were away...and by the look of things...it had been something BAD...

...

Meanwhile, on a nearby roof. A lonely scout is awoken from his slacking by the bell and angrily looks around for the source through his binoculars...and sees HER. The white Devil herself.

He goes very pale, "Jimmeny crickets!" Quick as a flash he goes down the nearby zip-line screaming; "THE PONIES ARE COMING! THE PONIES ARE COMING! THE PONIES ARE COMING! THE PONIES ARE COMING! THE PONIES ARE COMING!" He shouts at the top of his lungs as he jumps between rooftops...his voice echoing...

...

THE PONIES ARE COMING!

An elderly man looks up from his schematics...

...

THE PONIES ARE COMING!

A woman looks away from the mirror she'd just smashed in rage...

...

THE PONIES ARE COMING!

A man larger then life looks up from his morning wine with interest...

...

THE PONIES ARE COMING!

The strangely dressed man looks up from the corpse on his table...

...

THE PONIES ARE COMING!

A man in an odd mask looks away from the face he'd just pounded into pulp to hear this news...and smirked...

...

THE PONIES ARE COMING!

A man clad in fine robes opened an eye to see this new interruption to his meditation while levitating in mid-air...only to scoff in annoyance... "About Bloody time"...

...

THE PONIES ARE COMING!

All across the burning husk of the once great nation...many heard this news...

Many wondered...feared...hoped...hated...dreamed...and **schemed**...

...

THE PONIES ARE COMING!

The whole group looked up and listened as the screams rebounded. Tyrone sighs, "Well, cats out of the bag. Soon the whole city will know were here."

"Just as well, this was never meant to be a covert operation." Stated Celestia simply, "In fact this might be for the best, the sooner we meet with someone in charge the sooner we figure out what has happened here."

And thus they continued on...and were more and more horrified at what they saw. "Huh, so the garbageman aren't doing their jobs either." Said Tyrone as he observed the corpses piled up in the streets instead of carted away...

...well...the ponies were horrified anyway. The humans just seemed to take it in with resigned indifference...which in a lot of ways, made the whole situation all the more unsettling to the ponies.

"How are you guys not freaking out!? There is a rotting corpse of a little girl- who couldn't have been much older then my little sister! -here who was clearly living in the gutter with a sign saying, 'Will have sex for food!' here for crying out loud!" Exclaimed Shining Armor finally.

The two humans just look at each other...then back to Shinning, "Do you know what we call that down here in Eagleland?" Asked Tyrone flatly.

"Uh...no?" Asked Shining confused by this sudden change of topic.

"Tuesday", Explained Wendy dismissively.

Shining just blinked confused, "I...what?"

"Look guys, this is the world we live in. You might be visiting, but we lived here 24/7. Here, unless you were lucky enough to be born in the top 1% or sell your soul to join the military...you don't get a lot of options." Explained Dipper.

The ponies could do nothing but be stunned by this...here they were experiencing horrors the likes of which their race had ever seen...and these humans were treating it like it was as natural as Celestia making the sun rise! HOW COULD ANYONE LIVE LIKE THIS!?

Not knowing what else to do...they kept walking...and heaving their lunch...

One of the cadets; Peter Photo who likes to moonlight as a part-time photographer was taking picture of it all. When asked why he simply said, 'this is horrible...and yet...I feel like it's a story that needs to be told. People need to KNOW this, REMEMBER This...to make sure it NEVER happens again to ANYpony ever again...'

Despite the situation, Celestia can't help but admire the sentiment and gives her blessing to continue...

In the meantime she'd discovered something else rather curious. There were many propaganda posters; some where of the 'Supreme Leader' to make him more god-like and demand obedience...these were all defaced with derogatory slander- an action that according to Wendy would usually have been unthinkable as defacing even one poster would usually see mass-executions and cutting the nearby districts of their rations(Celestia once more could barely contain her disgust/horrified disbelief over this). There were also posters calling arms against 'synths' that were actually unvandalized, but before Celesta could ask about this- or what a 'synth' was -she saw the most curious posters of all.

They were the propaganda posters that demonized Celestia and all pony-kind, as well as blame them for all the country's problems...but that wasn't the curious bit-

 **Why lie? I'd do her...**

This message was repeated and plastered over every 'demon' pony picture- especially images of a 'demon queen' Celestia.

The ponies looked over to a now VERY flustered Tyrone and Wendy in bemused curiosity(both from the posters implication AND finally getting a reaction from the seemingly unflappable humans).

"Hmmm...perhaps you can elaborate?" Asked Celestia with a snicker.

Tyrone blushed but tried to compose himself, "Uh...well, the thing is...there's...(cough's nervously)...despite the large amount of government-sponsored xenophobia...there is actually a large percentage of...well...'bronies' who find ponies...'appealing'?" He says that last part sweating bullets.

An equally awkward Wendy face-palms, "Oh for the love of- SEX! Okay!? They're is a surprisingly large amount of humans that want to have sex with ponies and Celestia in particular is a HUGE sex-icon! But nobody admits to it because being a 'pony sympathizer is punishable by death!"

Now it was the ponies turn to be flustered(openly discussing sex in any shape or form simply didn't happen in pony culture **(1)** )...well except for Celestia, who simply looked amused.

Celestia would be lying if she said she'd never found non-pony species attractive. She can, and at a few points in history 'has' hooked up with Hippogriffs, Griffins and so on...

"Well, it's nice that you humans admit to it at least. My little ponies would never have the nerve to admit all the 'magazines' dedicated to me that they swear they keep for the 'articles'." She teases with a giggle as most of her guards- both Stallion and Mare -suddenly look mortified over the 'mom' of Equestria knowing about 'that'...and wondering in panic if she knew everything 'else'."

In any case, they moved on- after Tyrone reassures a teasing Wendy that he was still into 'human' girls -...the jovial atmosphere was quick to die in all the suffering and poverty they saw around them. Worse, was uneasy silence that fell on them...and the feeling that not only were they not alone...but being watched...

FINALLY they reached the...rich district?

"Dang, I figured your rich would be living better but this is just as bad as the rest of the town!" Noted Shining confused...and then became even more confused by how startled Tyrone was!

"No...this is wrong! The rich district is the cleanest, safest, important and most beautiful part of town- at least according to what I see online, 'pheasant's' like me aren't allowed -something's gone wrong!"

Indeed, the whole area looked like a war had gone on...as did the multitude of figures approaching them!

"Saints protect us dear wife! Look at the fop's that approach us! Have they come to rob us?" Asked a malnourished, skeleton-like man wearing a bunch of broken kitchen utensils as armor.

His similarly malnourished and armored wife smacked him in the back of the head, annoyed. "Of what you dunce?! The dirt in our pockets?!" She sighed, "Why couldn't you have died instead of our car?"

The group of just as malnourished and equipped humans looked at the group of ponies in a mix of confusion, waryness, and bewilderment. And the ponies did likewise.

"Ponies from the word above! They will be our leaders!" Shouted a ragged and cloaked man wearing an orange safety cone.

"No, Scott. Our group already has a leader, he's Dave." Said Foreman.

"Hey." Said a brutish, large man politely.

Princess Celestia nodded, "Yes, nice to meet you all too. I'm Princess Celestia-

"Oh, boy. Have you come to conquer us? Not that we would be complaining...or have the ability to stop you...we'd just like a head's up is all."

Celestia shook her head, "I simply wish to talk to this...'Supreme Leader' of yours."

The gang looks surprised, then exchanges knowing looks. "Right, sure. We'll take you right to them..." They said with a dark smirk that snet chills down then ponies spines.

...

On the way over, this gang finally reveals what happened to Eagleland While Wendy and Tyrone were gone...

"Well, first the clocktower did it's thing. Naturally, this caused a bit of a panic. Especially considering what happened the last several times- he coughs nervously -anyway... Then 'V' showed up on every TV screen-

Quickly, it's explained that 'V' is a mysterious, legendary hacker who occasionally helps out anti-Supreme leader sympathizers and other 'dissident' groups.

-So anyway, he goes showing everyone the attack the kid and the red head pulled against the ponies(but only mostly the fillies- except in the images it was made to look like that Celestia going to the astral plain was actually her getting incinerated and killed as well - getting killed, not what happened after apparently), and this gets everyone excited. We thought at long last all our suffering, sacrifice, and 'preparation' was finally going to pay off! At long last the war against the 'pony menace' the supreme leader promised would happen!"

Dave winces as he realized he'd just said, 'pony menace'...in front of a bunch of ponies, "Uh, no offense." He says quickly to them.

Celestia waves a dismissive hoof, "It's fine. Now what happened next?"

"Yeah, and why would V show something that makes the Supreme Leader look good?"

Dave shrugs, "A few of us wondered that too...but turns out this was just step ONE of a far greater plan!" He balls his fists up in anger and reveals how a few days later a second, secret, LIVE broadcast was shown throughout the city. One revealing the unshakeable, all powerful, God-like SUPREME leader...in a complete hysterical panic!

Dave and the rest of his crew snarl, "He and the rest of his inner circle were planning to steal all of Eaglelands money, food, resources...and then leave the rest of us to rot and face your wrath alone! They also revealed how their 'pony menace' propaganda was total BS and they just used that as an excuse to justify treating the rest of us like trash!"

Tyrone frowned at that... "That probably made everyone very angry." He says as he looks around once more at the now ruined rich district.

Dave smirked, "You could say that..."

Celestia looked at him confused/suspicious, "You...said that you were going to take us to the Supreme leader? Where is he exactly?" The past hour they had been led more and more into the broken ruins of what had once been a rather opulent district...she was starting to get a bad feeling about all this...

Dave smirked as he turns the corner, "Why he's where all the other no-good traitors are! Where they belong!" He gestures wildly to the center of a plaza...

The ponies gasp in horror! Wendy and Tyrone are stunned!

In the middle of the central plaza...right in front of the burnt out ruins of the Supreme Leaders mansion and his luxury parliament house. Was none other then the Supreme Leader and his inner circle...their corpses mutilated, strung up and burnt to a crisp. Their bodies displayed for all to see in a macabre fashion, horrific slurs spray painted all over their remains!

While they sit their stunned, Dave continues the tale.

He tells about how everyone- even a large majority of the military! -rose up in fury and rushed the rich district, slaughtering everyone and razing it to the ground!

Tyrone frowned at this, "Wait, what about the defense systems? The electro-barriers? The synth-defenders? The defense-drones? The secret police?"

Dave shrugged, "No idea, most of all that was offline when we showed up! No one questioned it! But as for the secret police- pauses to chuckle -turns out those morons were having a 'party', they were so drunk we overran and killed most of them before they even knew what was happening!" He laughed at that last part.

Meanwhile, a shell-shocked Celestia walked up numbly to the grisly display of corpses. She'd largely held her tongue to most of the unspeakable things she'd witnessed here among the humans...but this was too much!

Despite how 'first contact' went, she'd been genuinely excited to meet and discover a brand new species! New chances for her and her little ponies to form bonds of friendship!

True, it had sounded like their leader would be trouble...but she'd dealt with such things with other world leaders before(although admittedly even Chrysalis wasn't as horrible as he was apparently). She'd been confident that after he'd been dealt with everything would go smoothly!

...but it wasn't just their leader...it was the entire race! All of them! Doing all sorts of horrible things to themselves and each other! Never before in her long life had she seen such wicked things! It was almost too much for her heart to take...

She hung her head in sadness and shed a tear, "I'm so...disappointed...I never thought I'd meet a species like humanity...I thought they'd be better then this..." she said outloud to herself sadly...

"HEY!

Celestia looks up and sees the angry Foreman approach.

"Now where do you get off!? You weren't here! You don't know what it was like! People were starving! 1000's of people were dying of starvation and thirst everyday! Not just adults but KIDS too! They kept telling us ponies were eating everything, when all the while they were just eating 5 meals a day while I was forced to bury my five year old nephew in a MASS grave after my brother killed him so he wouldn't have to watch him starve to death! That is common down here! Parents killing their children to end their suffering is COMMON here! My own sister died of a very easy to cure fever since we have no hospitals here, while the rich had doctors every 8 ft in their district! And all because those greedy jerk hoarded all the resources and blamed YOUR people for all the problems! So, yeah. When we learned the truth, we got ticked! I DARE you to go through the same thing and not want to rip someone apart! You go through that, you can tattoo 'disgraceful excuse for a living person' on my forehead, but until then SHUT THE BUCK UP!" He panted in exhaustion.

Celestia stared at him in shock and shame for a moment...then slowly walks away in sad resignation...Deciding that she couldn't really do much else. What could even be said about that?

Getting into a shouting match over who knows the dirtiest, most evil ruler would solve nothing. What of her own experiences could she bring up that could even compare? Discord? Sombra?

Discord was little more than a child who has the power to make the world his playground. Sombra was cruel but he had been utterly pragmatic in his cruelty. He hadn't let his slaves go sick or hungry at least

Dead slaves were one less mouth to kiss his hooves after all. Mutating them into monsters was pointless as a well trained squad of loyal, well fed soldiers could accomplish the same with less chance of rampaging.

But this leader...this Ming Jol-ik...this monster...the things he'd allowed done to his people, made them go through...there were no words...

And much as she was loathe to admit it...the Foreman was right...what right did she have to judge those who went through such hardships? And yet...she couldn't bring herself to let things go as they were...especially if the humans intended to interact with her ponies after all this!

Tyrone sees a sad Celestia walk away and lay down despondently...and he goes to her. Even though he still preferred the company of human girls, ponies still had a beauty to them- especially mares -Celestia most radiant of all. And to see a pretty girl sad, was never good far as Tyrone was concerned.

Taking a page he remembered from a 'pamphlet' he'd found in his Grunkle Stan's room he came up to her and lightly scratched her behind the ears.

Celestia's eye's widened...and she purred happily. She then nuzzled him affectionately, then went very red as she realized what she was doing and abruptly stopped embarrassed.

Tyrone took his hand back quickly, "I'm sorry, I was just trying to make you feel bet-

"I didn't say stop", said a still flustered Celestia. Tyrone quickly continues much to Celestia's enjoyment.

After a moments silence...Celestia begins to talk, "I could go on for hours about all the problems I have with you humans...but their all mainly iterations of phrases like "How could they allow this to happen?", "you just let these children die?", "you have to work together." and so on..."

Tyrone nods, "Exclamations of disbelief and horror generally sound the same after awhile." He affirms.

Celestia looks up to him warmly/hopefully, "Then...perhaps you could help me understand?"

He smiles and begins to address her issues and explain...

The reason why garbageman pick up the bodies and just throw them into the incinerator? ...Because they can't afford to treat the body with any real respect given how often they have to do it, and the closest thing to it they can give is to make sure the body is off the street before it results in even greater sickness around it.

Why didn't they give the children any food? Because 'everyone' barely has enough food to keep from starving. Kindness and generosity is not a luxury everyone can easily afford in a society like this.

If anything, the kids with the 'have sex for food' sign was hardly the most desperate they've ever seen. And at least they hadn't went out to try and kill anyone for their food. Seeing children around here with weapons tear into adults like a swarm of locusts is not a rare sight.

And so on and so forth...but in the end it all boiled down to...

"You ponies have never been this desperate. I've seen grown men go on fasts to the point of death just to let their families have another bite, only to crack in their last few moments and turn violent, desperate for food."

"Hunger. Thirst. I'm not saying you ponies don't know hardship. But our entire society is built on the suffering on the many for the luxury of the few. You can't possibly know what it's like to not even remember the taste of bread. Or to be so desperate for meat you would eat your own fingers." Points to a man with only three fingers on his hand...and in the middle of eating of eating the third."

Celestia's eye's widen in horror. "By Faust's holy mercy- CAPTAIN SHINING! GET THESE PEOPLE SOME FOOD FOR THE LOVE OF HASBRO!"

Shining quickly obliges.

The people gasp and fall on the food like starving badgers(several ponies yip in pain as many of their hooves get nicked by their teeth!

"They bear the sweet mana of the overland!" Exclaimed Scott excited.

Tyrone smirks at this, then turns back to Celestia while still scratching behind her ears.

"Desperation. Real desperation and utter refusal to lay down and die? That's the world we live in here."

Celestia looked over at the spectacle thoughtful...it was all so horrible...and yet...she couldn't help but wonder: 'What would I do if I were that hungry?'

In any case she turns to Tyrone(without disturbing his lovely ear scratching), "Y'know...I must say that despite all the horrible things I've seen since coming here...I can't help but admire you humans tenacity and will to survive and overcome anything. I don't think most- or ANY of my little ponies could handle even HALF of what you have clearly endured here...it's hard not to respect that."

Tyrone thanks her warmly as he continues scratching her ears...and listening to her purr...

She then speaks again, "I don't think I can really understand why anyone would do this would do this- points to the disfigured corpse of the once 'Supreme leader' - or why a leader would do such unspeakable things to their subjects in the first place and honestly I don't believe it right to try and shame you for something I cannot understand. Judging you by our standers just wouldn't work here I fear...but let me be clear. If after all this your people are to live among my ponies. To share their lands, their homes, their warmth and care. If you wish to live as you wish to live, then this- again gestures to the horribly disfigured corpse - All of that and anything likes it, can't be tolerated. It must End here. Do you understand? All of this anger. A revenge- that I genuinely can't say was unjustified -has been taken. Your freedom won. Your kind shall not commit acts such as this upon My Little Ponies."

Tyrone continues to scratch behind her ears but looks at her a bit annoyed, "...You act like were just a bunch of murderers. Look I can understand that you've never seen violence quite like this. But we're not all blood hungry. Like you've said, we took our revenge against those that deserved it. We won't do anything as long as your ponies don't start anything."

"Can I trust you on that?"

"Well, I can't speak for everyone else. But Me and my loved one's? Yes. Mostly everyone else? Absolutely."

"Most?"

"I can't guarantee their won't be some who liked what we did here a little too much. Or that all the jerks that ran our land into the ground didn't survive this purge and aren't still skulking about somewhere. But that's why we have to be careful and try our hardest not to screw up. We're not having history repeat itself because some moron realized cutting peoples heads off makes him feel better about how fraked our lives used to be."

Celestia thought on that...while also purring under his ear scratching ministrations..."

"...Very well, I suppose that's a fair assessment...for now..."

"Hey you two stay like that for too long, I'm going to get jealous!" Teased Wendy.

Tyrone's flustered floundering got a laugh out of everyone...

...

No one notice the figure in the shadows... **"I have them in my sight's...do you wish me to terminate...?"** There's a pause... **"I understand."** And like that...the figure disappeared as quickly as he came...

…III...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **1\. you had to feel sorry for what Pony culture would go through the next several years...**

 **AN: A strong Thank you to Wolvenstrom for helping with this chapter!**

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	277. Wendy the Cougar 5

**Tales of the Falls**

 **I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!**

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

RasenganFin: okay... what?

Gamelover41592: How could I not?

ImperialStar: What? Buddy, this arc has barely begun! I haven't even introduced the major players yet!

...III...

With Mable's attempts to throw out more cameras thwarted, they make their way to the island. Dipper focuses on searching for the monster...oblivious that Wendy was focusing on Dipper's trunks...

"Uh, Wendy-

"I DON'T CARE IF HE'S SMALL, I'M NOT A PERVERT!" Screamed Wendy suddenly.

Soos gave her a weird look, "Uh...I just wanted to know if you wanted an ice cream bar..."

Wendy flustered...then chuckled nervously. "Uh...right...sure, I'll have one."

While she eats, Dipper finds the lair...of a beaver playing with a chainsaw?

Dipper groaned, "well, this whole trip was a bust-

 **ROAR!**

THE GOBBLEWONKER BURSTS OUT OF THE WATER AND LEAPS AT DIPPER!

Dipper screamed Wendy as she pushes him out of the way, they both go tumbling into the water as the monster chases after Soos and Mable.

The force of the dive and the current sweep the two a ways away from the island, Wendy groans to herself as she tries to right herself. _"Dang, that knocked the air out of me!"_ She begins to look around under water, _"Where am I? Where's-_

And then she see's it, Dipper, his head above the surface gasping at air...but his trunks...his trunks are below his knees...letting Wendy see everything...

...8 years ago...

"Don't pretend your eyes don't hover, at least for a moment, over the delicately sculpted penises on classical nude statues. While it may not sound like the most erudite subject, art historians haven't completely ignored ancient Greek genitalia either. After all, sculptors put as much work into penises as the rest of their artwork, and it turns out there's a well-developed ideology behind those rather small penises."

Explained Mr. Shimsham as he showed off some ancient statues with teeny weeny's.

"To put it bluntly: In ancient Greece, it seems, a small penis was the sought-after look for the alpha male."

"Evidently Greeks associated small and non-erect penises with moderation, which was one of the key virtues that formed their view of ideal masculinity"

He starts to write numerous orgy revelries on the board...

"There is the contrast between the small, non-erect penises of ideal men (heroes, gods, nude athletes etc) and the over-size, erect penises of Satyrs (mythic half-goat-men, who are drunkards and wildly lustful) and various non-ideal men. Decrepit, elderly men, for instance, often have large penises."

He writes some more pornographic sketches on the board

"Similar ideas are reflected in ancient Greek literature, says Lear. For example, in Aristophanes' Clouds a large penis is listed alongside a "pallid complexion," a "narrow chest," and "great lewdness" as one of the characteristics of un-athletic and dishonorable Athenian youths."

"Only grotesque, foolish men who were ruled by lust and sexual urges had large penises in ancient Greece. In fact, Art history blogger Ellen Oredsson notes on her site that statues of the era emphasized balance and idealism."

"The ideal Greek man was rational, intellectual and authoritative," he Explained. "He may still have had a lot of sex, but this was unrelated to his penis size, and his small penis allowed him to remain coolly logical."

He turns to the class, "Any questions?"

The elementary class containing a young Wendy and Tambry...just looked in terror at the pistol the lunatic who took them all hostage and began to teach them was holding...

...Half the SWAT team died before the kids were rescued...

...

Traumatic memories aside, Wendy- acting with her loins and not her head -Ripped off the trunks and let the pieces fall into the ocean out of reach...

Wendy's eye's went wide, what had she done?!

...

Dipper's eye's went wide in panic, he didn't know how...but his trunks were gone! He was completely naked! One moment, he felt it underwater dangling by his legs, and now it was gone completely!

"Oh, man! I hope Wendy-

And then something red was shoved into her face.

Dipper takes it...It's a red bathing suite!?

"Wha-

Then he sees a flustered Wendy, desperately keeping her body below water.

"I'm sorry Dipper...your trunks were totaled...it's my fault...use my suite." she said in a voice filled with shame and embarrassment.

Dipper was dumbstruck!

"Wow...Wendy...thanks...I promise I'll get you help!"

He quickly wraps the suite around his waist and swims away...

Wendy tries REALLY hard not to think about the 'two tiny sesame seeds and itty bitty pine needle' she'd just seen...

...Meanwhile...

"Forget fishing, this is way cooler!" Shouts Stan as he, Mable, Soos and Old man McGucket bond over using the robot Gobblwonker burn the town and scare everyone!

"BURN BABY BURN!" Screamed Mable...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	278. A pig or a friend? 33: RasenganFin

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

RasenganFin: (shrug) Why not?

Wicked.A: You should!

The Howling Behemoth: thank you

Guest: Pretty sure your a hacker, but thanks for the reviews!

...III...

And so we let the commoners in at the beginning of the party, the ghost of Mary's ancestor was appeased and now we can all just have fun." Said Priscillia.

"And your husband was okay with that?" Asked Soos surprised as he stuffed his face with cream puffs.

Priscilla frowned, "Actually...he just shrugged it off indifferently...it was weird, I was expecting this huge argument...but he just...didn't seem to care...come to think of it..." She looked around, "That was over a week ago and I haven't seen him since...where is he?"

She shrugged, "Never mind, he's probably just sulking somewhere. I'll deal with it later if I have to." She turns to Soos, "What I'd like to know is why Dipper didn't show up...Pacifica and Wendy have been quite sad because of it..."

Soos looked at her surprised, "Oh, you didn't know? a week ago they went on a trip through the woods, and Dipper had his balls and dick ripped out."

Priscilla's cries of surprised alarm deafened many...

...

 _"DIPPER! NO!" Shouted a naked and mortally wounded Pacifica and Wendy. They'd been badly thrashed by the giant monster that used to be Dipper genitals, now transformed by GF magic into this grotesque abomination!_

 _"That thing is psionically linked to your wound! If you destroy it, it'll be impossible for your genitals to be repaired or replaced in any form without mystic backlash!" Shouted the girls!_

 _Dipper, wearing noting but a bandage to seal the gaping hole whole where his manhood once rested simply shrugged as he pointed the bazooka at the snarling beast that was once the most revered part of his anatomy-_

 _"I'd rather be a virgin the rest of my life...then let your girls die-_

 _ **BOOM!**_

...

Dipper woke up with a start...he looked down on himself...sighed...then went to empty the catheter that be what allowed him to go to the bathroom from now on...

...

"Why did we come here? How can we even think about partying while Dipper is depressed?" Asked Wendy outloud.

Pacifica sighed, "I thought he'd come...but yeah, your right. Without him I can't muster any enthusiasm for any of this, and with Mable and her friends fighting over a boy- or not fighting over a boy? Pretending to not fight over a boy- Whatever, it's so stupid I couldn't bother to hear all the details..."

Wendy just shook her head at that, "Yeah...let's just...let's just go. I don't care what the journal say's, there HAS to be a way to reverse Dipper being a eunuch."

They begin to leave the party-

 **BOOM!**

A giant tree broke from the ground of the mansion, "Leaving so soon?!" Asked Preston Northwest triumphantly as he stood on top of it, "But the party has only just started! Besides, darling daughter...don't you want to meet your great, great, great, grandfather?" He asked with a smile.

The face of Nathaniel Northwest- permanently burnt into the mighty oaks visage -snarled.

 **HOW DARE YOU BRING COMMONERS INTO THIS MOST HALLOWED GROUND!?**

Wendy had already sent the text message while Preston was yammering; **"Dipper, were in trouble. Come help us, please."**

...

His funk forgotten, Dipper ignored the pain...and went to save his girls...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	279. Road Trip

**Road Trip**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

Guest: ...uh...I don't know what to say to this except...thanks for the reviews?

The Howling Behemoth: Thank you, like to think it gives me an edge

RasenganFin: Yes, I'm amazed more people don't do something with that plot thread.

Gamelover41592: 1. Wait till next chapter, it'll make sense... 2. Go indeed...

NyaNyaKittyFace: Fire might burn wood, but wood assimilates WATER...

...III...

Mable groaned as their parents drove off and left them at what appeared to be a campsite.

"I can't believe our parents just threw this at us out of the blue on the first day of summer! I had plans! I had fifty slumber parties, 20 boy band concerts, 15 Unicorn slammer contests, and 5 ice cream glitter races scheduled for the first month alone!"

Dipper just shrugged, his summer 'plans' had mainly consisted of...staying in his room reading alone, looking up online for new conspiracies to debate alone, look up new paranormal mystery books at the library alone...and that was it.

Needless to say, Dipper was fairly neutral to this sudden change of plans...still, it was a little weird for their parents to spontaneously drop this on them like this out of the blue...especially putting them in the care of a relative they'd never even heard of before...

They wouldn't even tell them where he lived! Just for them to 'wait' at the campsite for him! What was-

 **ROAR!**

The twins turned around and gaped, it was like a house and an RV had a baby...the set on fire and threw it off a cliff!

Coming at them on mismatched wheels, was the most broken down, dilapidated, poorly built, ugliest shack they had ever seen! 'Mystery Shack Road Tour' **(1)** it said on the side.

Suddenly the door fell away revealing an decrepit and creepy old man, "Hey kids! It's me! Your Grunkle Stan! You ready for the best summer ever!?"

The 'S' fell of the sign...and burst into flames...

"...Yep, our parent's want to kill us." Whispered Dipper...and Mable could only nod.

...

"So...your a traveling salesman?" Asked Mable as she looked at the 'invisible man'(AKA a pair of glasses and hat suspended on a wire).

"Eh, Salesman, Entrepreneur, manager of oddities, Pug trafficker-

"What was that last part?" Asked Dipper confused as he looked up from the 'realistic' Sas'crotch'.

"Manager of oddities! That's the last thing I said! No doubt! What are you, deaf?"

Before they could ask any other questions, Stan hustled them away to do work...

...

Dipper sighed, his uncle was clearly a fraud, that mechanic named Soos seemed okay...if a bit odd. Their road 'schedule' was a bit of a hodge-podge of random stops all across the country- Why was Columbia crossed out so viciously? -and it ended near the end of summer at...

"Gravity Falls?...never heard of it..." Said Dipper out loud, as he folded up the Map his Gruncle gave him and took out the flyers that he was supposed to staple to any tree.

...Overall Dipper guessed it wouldn't be so bad, "True, it would probably be annoying being in such close quarters with Mable for so long, and even more so having to hawk his Gruncle's phony 'oddities'...but still, a road trip across the country? ...could be fun?...maybe?

Dipper shrugged, he supposed he'd have to take a 'wait and see approach' to the situation. He thought to himself as he pressed his hand against a tree trunk to get the tape stuck just right-

 **ZAP!**

Dipper cried out in pain as the the tree zapped his hand! He pulled it back and sucked the injured area. He looks at the 'tree'..."What the?"

 **DNA confirmed.**

Beeped an electronic voice as a hidden compartment on the tree opened up to reveal two strange objects...a journal with a handprint and the number 'three' plastered on it...and a peculiar watch?

"What in the..." Dipper trails off as he cautiously reaches toward the objects-

 **WAP!**

Suddenly the watch jumped up and constricted around his wrist!

"Wait, what!?" Shouted Dipper as he frantically tried to get the watch off, frustratingly fiddling with it-

 **ZAP!**

And just like that he was taller, an alien AND ON FIRE!?

"GAH! I'M ON FIRE! I'M ON FIRE! I'M ON FIRE!" Screamed Dipper as he ran around in a panic, stop, dropping and rolling, etc...oblivious to how he was just spreading the flames...

... **Meanwhile**...

Deep within the asteroid belt, "My lord...the Omnitrix has activated were locating it's signature now."

A strange, emaciated creature suspended inside a liquid tube smirked.

"Finally...after 30 years...I'll be whole once more...and the universe will be mine!"

...III...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **(1): I got this idea from MarkMark**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	280. Ralph Wrecks the ending of Gravity Falls

**Wreck an ending**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...III...

Mable sobbed as she ran away from the Mystery Shack. It had been one bad thing after another today! First she learns that High School musical LIED to her, then her friends can't make her party, and now Dipper was leaving her! And now she was running because...well, what else could she do? Her heart was still breaking...

She ran toward the woods-

 **PATH BLOCKED!**

 **Due to sudden need of random repairs**

 **Stanley Lenderman corp.**

Only briefly stopping to see the roadblock, she simply changes course and runs to town, she runs into the first deserted building she can find. Which apparently is the video arcade.

She then sits down and cries... "How could Dipper do this?! He's my brother! Were supposed to be together forever! Family dosen't abandon each other!" She wails out loud...

"Geez, dosen't she know that boys are turned off by desperation?" Snarked Giffany from inside a nearby arcade terminal.

"Uh...I'm pretty sure she's talking about her brother not her boyfriend." Pointed out Rumble MCskirmish awkwardly.

"What's the difference?" Asked Giffany curiously.

MCskirmish responded with his vomit punch in trash can combo...

None noticed a new addition to the arcade...

 **"Target acquired."**

Mable looks up just in time to see a weird, glitchy snake thing pop out one of the arcade games and jump toward her-

 **BOOM!**

And then one of the games exploding, "NOPE! Were not doing that again!" Shouted a giant, burly mountain man with ham-sized fists as he leaps forth from the burning console, grabs the 'thing' when it's mere inches from Mable's face and smashes it to powder.

Mable stares in surprise at this strange giant of a man that saved her as he panted in exhaustion.

He looks to her, "You okay kid?" Asked the giant. "Uh...yeah. Thank you for that, Mr...

"Ralph, Wreck-it-Ralph!" He said proudly as he held out his finger for her to grasp and shake.

"Mable." She responded.

Ralph, calmly looked at her concerned. He knew from...'experience' that that particular virus only went after a certain 'type' of people...probably best he didn't get in to that here...still...he shouldn't just leave this girl with an issue like that...

"Hey, listen...if I'm out of line here tell me- But, do you...do you have some big old problem weighing on your heart?" Asked the socially stunted man as delicately as he was able.

Fortunately for him, Mable- her brief stint with death now over -remembered why she came here in the first place...and then broke down crying, explaining everything.

Ralph listened silently as she explained her situation, and when she was finished...he took a deep breath...

"Not too long ago...I was in a similar situation as you were. I had a friend- My first REAL friend. She'd helped me through so many dark times in her life...and I loved my life with her...but while she loved our friendship...she wasn't happy with everything else in her life...

And then when she found something, something that made her more happier then anything, made new friends that were just as good as me if not better, she found a place she could truly call home, and she wanted to STAY there. And when she told me this-

Ralph sighed... -I totally almost ruined it for her...WORSE, I ruined the lives of so many other innocent people in the crossfire as well...all because I was selfish...all because I couldn't let my friend go...

Mable just looked at the man stunned...not knowing what to say or feel...

Ralph put a sympathetic hand on her shoulder, "Your not going to want to hear this...but like that clone boy band...you need to let him go."

Mable looked at him in horror, "What?" She squeaked out.

Ralph continued, "It's not right to hold a friend back from his dreams. You don't own him and That's not how friendship works. You need to let him go."

Mable looked at him with sobbing eye's, "I...I have to let him go?"

Ralph gave her a comforting hug. "I know It's gonna hurt a little bit when you do... Ah, who am I kidding? It's gonna hurt a lot! But you're gonna be okay. Your BOTH gonna be okay. I mean, he still loves your right? It's not like you'll be apart forever, right?"

Mable sniffed, but reluctantly agreed.

"See? No matter where he goes, or where he lives, he's always gonna be your brother. You just gotta trust him. Cause that's what best friends do. Right?" He chuckled, "Trust me, you don't want to be the jerk who's insecurities created a virus that destroys the internet and almost kills everyone you know and love."

Mable gives him an odd look... "That's a weirdly specific scenario..." She then sighs, "Which sadly enough is completely possible in this whacked out town...Dipper really love it here..."

Mable sighs...She looks up to the man who'd helped her make such a difficult choice, "Do you...do you have a spot for a side-kick?" She asks tentatively.

Ralph smiled, "...I'm sure we could work something out..."

They give each other a hug...

...

"Wait, you gave her a relatively happy ending? Who are you and what have you done with Slenderman?" Asked Bill Cipher.

 **Ỏ̵̢̡̧̡̼͚̰̱͍̜̝̹̉̆̾̌͗̂́̈̄͗̅̚͝ͅḩ̵̟̫̺̱͇͛̉͂͒̔ͅ,̵̭̥̙̘͕͖̼̠̜̩͕̰̿̑̀̿̐̓̉̊̄ ̶͎́̆͗̈́Ḭ̸̪̪̻̻̜̬̦́͆̃̎̂̈́̊͜ ̷̨̡̟̰͈̫̦̘̞̺̙͈̍̌w̵̱̣̠̣̞͕͆͛ͅa̷̧̡̭̫̲̻͙̱͋̂̂͂̇͋̒̓̚̚͜ͅş̷̛͇͍̝̠͙̠̱̙̼̝̈̂̐̓̎̒͛͌́ ̴͓̭̭̏̐̒̓̒̃̀̎̔̒͋̂̾͠͝j̷̧̼̻͕̼͎̯̘̈̑͜͝u̷̧̧̢̡̳̮͍̭̘͎͎̰͊̂̀̈́͗͜ͅs̵̢̜͔̰͉̣̣͕̗͍̝̻̈ͅt̶̩̩̗̖̻̩̳̬̻̣̾̓͊͊͌͑͌̏̓̽̃̋̿̔͌ ̶͚̖̃͗̾̊͂̆i̷̧̛̘̖͖̲̤͍̗͚̜̭̮͑̄̿̎̔͌̈́̓̆́n̸͈̰̽̇ṡ̶̢̨̞̥̦̙̳̹̘̯̜̉͒̿̃̿̊͝p̴̟̈́̆̿í̴̱̳̹̘̲͔͇̣̜̘͈́͒̉̐̀̎͆͐̋̕̚ͅr̷̛̦̘̥̱̘̪̀̏͊͗̔̽͆͆̈́͗̕é̵̥̲͎͎̜̦̳͓-̸̡̺͉͉̻̺̫̭̜͓͕̍̌͒͛̉́͒̀͂̄͐̄̏̐͜͝ ̵̢̡̖̥̩̺̞̤̪̪̤̰̠̼̩́̌̔͂̂̇̆͒̇͘͝Ẃ̸̧̠͇͕͓̮̯̞̝̖͂̅̈́͂̃̽̏͑̈͋̚͘̕͜͝a̵̧̧̢̩̬̤̪̣͉̝͛̈́͘̚͘į̸̢̧̧̦̦̲̎̈͊̑̉̍̅̎͛̉t̷̜͚͍͕̗̦̻̘̯̱̫̟̰͕̋̒̍͐̅͒͂͜͝,̵͎̦͎̮̱̜̝͎̗̅̍̐͗́̽̑̆̄͜͝ ̷̧̟͍̼̗͙̩̮̄̒̒͌͜͝ḩ̷̮̙͓̯̻̍̊̓̏̓̓͋͐̅̍̿́͘͝ở̸͚̩͇̩̤̬̙̅̐͒̇̀̾̾l̵̛͕͙̰̝̑̅͊̀̇̀̋̒̒͊d̷̨͕̤̽̈́͋̎̓̇́ ̵̖̗͍̖͍͍͙͓̪̀̇̒́̓̕͘͜ȯ̶̡̟̺̌́̂̈́͐̕̕̕n̵͓̘̟͓̭̮̼̘̹̬͙̳̫̆͐̈́̽̿͒̅̇.̵̡̛͈̮̖͖̼͍̝͕̱̜̳̓̾̀̐͌͋͒̈́̈́͘**

 **Click**

 **"There we go, much better. Like I was saying, I was inspired by the recent wreck it ralph movie. Now that was a good moral to end something with! ...Not the twaddle this otherwise good show coughed out. Besides, you know me. I already have another Mable lined up to be tormented!"**

Bill Cipher scratches his hat, "Uh, okay. But you still kinda messed up my plan-

Slenderman shrufgs and snaps his fingers, creating a portal to another Gravity Falls, one with no such protections to keep Bill trapped in the Nightmare Realm.

"WOO-HOO! Your too good to me boss!" Shouted Bill as he and his buddies jumped in and began to burn everything down...

Slenderman nods and brings up his checklist and another portal to another gravity falls, He checks off the name of yet another Mable...winks at the reader and then heads off to ruin yet another Mable's day...

…III...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	281. Mable you suck!

**Mable you suck!**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

...III...

Deep within Weirdmagedon, inside the guilded cage that was Mable-land...two siblings bickered in a court-

"Hey, I didn't write the laws of Mableland." Said Mable with a shrug.

"Yes you did! There is LITERALLY a tapestry above us with you writing the laws!" Exclaimed her brother Dipper.

Now in many universes, despite the glum outlook. This would've inevitably led to a heartwarming 'family is everything' moment, and Mable would've gotten away scott free with ruining everything and being rewarded for causing the apocalypse handsomely...

 **BOOM!**

This is not that universe

 **"̶̡͖̺̪͔̙̒͐̾́̎͒͜͜ͅH̵̟̔͗̇̃͛̈́͑̈́͝͠ḙ̸̡̥̰̤̞̬̘̞̤̳̼̇͐̏y̸̜̓̑͆̂̃̆,̴̢̭̒̀̈́̈̈́ ̷̛̖̗̼̺̖̹̣̫̃̂̾̌̊͌̇̔͒ẘ̶̢̱͚͉̫̲͇̍̃͊̈́́͜h̷͓͚̣͉̻̯̭͎̪̾̅̐̿̃͐͋͂̑͝ͅa̷̯͎̞̲͆͋̀̓͘t̷̛̞̺̩͙̩͂̍̄́̈̌́̂̌͋̅̄͌ ̸͎͍͉̰̺͉̣̲͎̭̞̗̉̑̂̑̇̍͋͑͘͜ư̶̺̙̠̂̌̓̑͂͛̈́̎̚p̸̡͈̤̺͈̳͇̯͖̗͋͋̏̽͋́͛̀̊͂̾͆̏͝ͅ ̴̨̦̻͆́͗̉̌̎̍͑͌͜p̸̣̺̲͙̳̩̙͉̔̽́e̴̡͍̫̿̉͐̈́̕ḙ̴̡̖̖̘͊̉̓͗̐̾́̉͐̚͠p̸͈̞̞͊̑̔͊͊̑̒̇͑͊̾̓̌̚͝ş̵͎̫͈̇́͒͐͘͝͠!̴̛͎͔͕͙͎̺͚̗̏̃̾͆͠͝͝?̶̡͇̮͚̳͇̻̖̦̟́͂̋̊̾̂͂̚͝͠"̷̛̲͖̪̯͈̪̐́̿̽͐̅** Shouts a strange creature that just broke down the courthouse doors. He was a long slender creature, with long arms, no face...and a snappy business suite?

All the Mable-land creatures took one look at him-

"IT'S SLENDERMAN! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"

Soon everyone(except Dipper, Mable and their friends) were running through the glass windows just to get away. Even the judge buried himself in his kitty litter to escape...

"Uh...what?" Asked Wendy confused over what just happened- she wasn't the only one.

"Huh, a new, unknown player has entered this story...of our lives...wonder how this will change the outcome... of the trial." Mused Soos while eating waffles, while Wendy just looks at him weird.

 **"̴̛͍̝̭̙͉̬̤͔̓̈́͒̃͂̅́́̿S̶̮̬͚͎̱̤͖͓̥̘̊̔͆̿̌̅̇è̸͚͉̊̀̒͊̅̈̒̅͒̏͘̕r̵̭̞̭̘̪̄͗̐̀̌͠ͅi̵̢̡̩͚̼͖̪̖̟̰̲̩̤̠͈͐̀̕ō̴̧͕̟̣͔̪̞̜̯͖̓̉̿̊͐͑̃͗̒͘̕͝u̸̞̬̖̣̦̦̻̠̬͒̈͗̎̂͒̃̄̔̏̈́͝͝s̷̺̣̩̘̱̙̋̇̅͜͝l̴̻̟͍̤̩̭̰̪̮͉̘̻͇̽̏͆̈͜͜y̸̛̫̫͈̥͕͂͐́̓͛͆̀̑̈͛̈́͌͘͠,̸̩̼͚̆̾̔̄̚͝ ̶̧͉͈͇̞͕̠̟̦̞̬͙̞̰͈̊̇̅̃͑̈́̃͂̂̾̇h̷̢͕̞̫͖̟͓̣̳̠̉̀́̊͜o̶͓̜̪̺̐͜w̴̖̝͔̗̬̘̆̔̑̂̈͐̈́̀̅͠'̶̬̖̬̩̳̯̥̼̲̱̋́̍͑̈́͗̽͜͜͝ͅs̴̹̜͈̘͂̐̅̉̒̀ ̶̧̯̩̜̟̜̯̦͉̗̘̻̗͓̞̏̇̀̚i̵͕͚̖̓͋̄̂͐̓͛͐͊͑͒̇͝͝͠ṫ̴̲̙̮͈̟̯̤͉̺͈͎̥͆̎͒̏̾̓͜͝͝ ̷̡̖͚̩͙̬͔̹̀̂̍͗̇̑͂̏g̸̢͚͖̙̗̥̥̳̝͆̆̇̉̃̏̔̊͑̊̚̚͝ǫ̷̛͎̠̠͉͙͉̜̞̜͉́̌͆͛͌͌͂̕͜͠į̷̻̣̮͖̙͈͓͊̄͗̃̄͑͂̈́͛̇͋̾̚̚͠ņ̷̥̮̝̪̯̲͙̘̘̼͓̥̆g̸̡̣̪̊̐̐̀͗̽͊͗͊?̷̰̭͚̭̾̅̈́͊̓̾̀̑͊͐̈́͠͝ ̵̡̛̱͉̥̞͚͚͕͕̱̏̇͒̓͠Ḯ̴̢̢̨̢̬̩̱̗̼̬̟͉͕̟͂͘͜ ̴̛̙͋͊̈́̿̑̄̄̇̈͌̂̚h̶̝̄̒̉̊̀͆͋̈̓̓͆̿̕̚͝o̶͎̘̗̽p̷̻̂̏͑͑͋͐̾̆̅̕̚͝ḛ̴̢̨̭̥͚͙̭̗̮̱̲̕ ̴̨̧̨̝̞̰̲͍̣̓͒Ï̷̻̣̥͚̤͙͉͔̠̺͖̂̈́̊̋͊͜'̶̡͎͍͓̊̌͒̕m̷̡̖̬̠̬͗͆̊̅́̀͊̏͛̾̇͋̚ ̶̳̽͐ņ̸̡̧̛̯̬̫̦͉͈́͂͑̈́̀̽̅́̐̀́͋̚͝ő̷̡̨̧͎̘̠͈͈̬̤͇̪̦̖t̶̻̅̀̀͊̄̿̌͌͊̎̔ ̶̤̠͍̒̉́̍͒̽̑͝l̶̨̺̪͕̲̙̫͚̬͔͍̖͎̜̜̈́̾͐͊̽̋̅͐͛̂̀̒̂͘͝a̵͕͋̕͝ẗ̵̢̛͎̺̺̙̗͍͙̘́̇̆͋̾̓e̸̼̣̱̻̹͐̎́͒̂̈͗̏͐́͂́͝͝!̴͓̝̭͕͙͈͈̻̓"̴̧̤̠̙̮̞͛͆̀͌͑̊̎**

The four remaining people in the whole building simply looked at the strange creature...not understanding a word he'd said.

 **"̸̨̡͍̮͇͇̻̹̬́̒͌̃͘͜W̵̤̫̱̻͚͔̬̣̠̓̓h̴̳͔̣̣̳͕͚̙̬͙̳͍͉̺̭̊̓̀͌͗y̵̡͔̩̏͒̈̄̅̏͑̾̽̚ ̴̨̞͕̬̖̞̝̖̹̽́̿̑̔̈́͗̿̈́̕̕̚a̴̺̜̠͇͆̽̂̒̿͂̀̎͘͝ŕ̶̯̰̩̠̞͎̥̒͗̀͆̐̊e̶̡̡̱̹͍͚̯̩̪̜̼̤͖̓͜ͅ ̵̮̙͖͔̘̮̘͇̪̙̉͗̊̄̈͛̑̈́̊̈́͒͜ͅy̵͙̙͓̘͑́̏͛̈̄̒͊̄̏͆͠ó̸͊͜u̸͚̪̙̯̯̓͜͜-̵̨͚̻̘̝̭̖̱͓̬͗̒̽̍̑̂̀̓ ̴̧̖̰̫͕͋͌̓͒͋͠O̶͙͔͓̻̯̖̊̈́̍̄̋͠h̶̘̄̌̈͋̒̄̕͘͘͠,̸̢̞̺̲̣́̆̏̄́̌́̊̄͘͝͝ ̵̧̛̯̤̲̮̜͖̦̮͍̻͊͊̄͗̍͊̂̆͐̋́̕̚͝ͅͅÌ̵̖̝̼̭̰̪͔͆͗͐͌̌͌́͠͝͝ ̶̢͙̻̗͚̗̂͝͝š̷͇̔́̎͗͆̒͠e̷̜̗̣̓̈́e̷̛̙͖̙̳̲̰̼̼͎͉̠̗̳̍̏̀̓͌͂͐͛͒̕̕̚͝.̶͔̂̆̐͐̈̓ ̷̡̠̯̝̞̱͙̱̭̉̈̍͜M̴̥̟̗̥̠̺̭͇͛̀̅̂̎̓̚ý̴̩͔͖̤͎͚̞̾ ̴̨̡̧̖̠̰̳̬̟͇̟̞̯̎̔̍̍̿̒͌̀̀̔͐̚͠g̵̢̨͍̱̬̎͑̀̓̐̆̎͝͝l̴̡͚̞̈̎̓̾́̀͌̿̾͌̊̔̓͠i̸̡̢̫̗̼͉̱̺̥̘͖̫̦̼͇̐̇̄̈́̓̑̔̀͒̈́͝͝͠t̴̢̡̜̤̬̤̰̺͌͊͑̉͠ĉ̵̨̨̘̹̮͈͉͖͉̳h̶̩͕̥̐̽̍̅̂̇͋̾̊̽́̃̃͘-̷̗̺́̊͗́́̔̓̅̀͊s̴̨̹̼͔̺̗͖̆̃͛͆̚͜͝p̷̲͎̖͚̣͓̤̮̮͒͜ͅễ̴̝͕̮̞͎̼̻͕̬̱͙̹̀̉́̋́̾͐͊̕ͅâ̸̗̞̺̗̝k̸̢̥̬͓͚̞͕͖̦̙̝̥͉̏͌̈́ ̷̡̧̛̻̺̪͔̯̩͕̣̯̤̾͒̽͊̀̿̅̍̏̇́͘͝͝ì̸͓̭̀̆̅̒̄̕ș̵̡̡̢̨͓̬͖̻͚͓̳̪͖̽̄̋̔ ̵̰́̌̊̏̀̀̔͝͠o̴̗̦̦̒̅̒̀̊͐̽̒̄͊̎̉͘͝͠n̷̟̻̳͍̬͈̪̳͌̊̈́̒̏͊̚͝͝.̸̫̞͗́͗̅͌͑͗̀̇͆̄́̕͠ ̶̨͇̬̹̼͉͋̑̓W̷̨͔͖͛̍͆̽̆̅̔̌é̴͓̘͌ͅḽ̶̨̢̳͚̲̫̣̫̣͙̭̣̙̜̈̿͌̑̔̚̚͘͝l̶̡̡̛̳̱̟̰̼̬̤͚̞̙̀͑͊̍́͋͌͌̇͐͒̚͝͠,̵̧̢̻̻͎̉̿͂͑̄̀̅̕͝͝ ̵̘̙̘̦̬̉͑́̊̓̏͑͐̌̚͠t̶͉̜̪̙̅̿̈́̆̌̊͒̀͐̿̕̕ḩ̵̡̩̗͍̘̈́̇̄͂̈́͐͊̒͘͝ā̷̢̳̯̟͈̱̥ṫ̸̡̨̢̨̢͕̲̘͔̣͎͎͐̌̏͝͝'̴̢̘͕͖̟͖̰̺̩̟̣͂͒̒̓̏̍͘͜͝͠s̸͇͉̻̦̲̝͙͙̺͒̐́̒̋͐̂̓͛͜͠ ̴̧̛̛̘̅̆͑̽͗̂̌̓͐͛̚̕͝ą̸͈͑̍̂̅̍͝ņ̶̢̰͇̦̺̣̱͍͈͇̣̦̳͔̊̀̎͑̋̊̕͝ń̴̨̨̢̡͕̮̲͎͙̠̍ͅͅǫ̴̨̨̨̯̲̳̠͈̈̈́̐͌̃̓̈́̅̾̚͝͝y̴̡̖̙̘̫̠̪̼̏̂͑̓͋ͅỉ̷̧̢̨̤͓̮̗͔̩͖͈͐͊͛̈̉̃͜n̶̢̘͍̳̙̽̚g̵̨͖̫̜̮͔̙̣͕̱̲̎̆͒̒́̔̚ͅͅ.̴̧̢̧̨̛̛̺͍̯͍̘̰̥̖͎́͆̅́̈́̈́̽͜͜͠ ̵̧̨̣̫̺̦͈̩́̀̅͘Ś̶̝̱̑͑̓̆͑ỏ̵̝͉̘̈́͋̿̏̇͗̐͌̇̓͗̕͠͝r̴̖̂̀̌r̴̢̡̢̢̖̪̞͍̙̆̈ͅý̸̧͇̠͍͓͖͍͈̝̯͉̮ͅ,̴̗̳̓̐̃̄̉̇͂̅̉̀̊͑͠ ̶̨̟̩̻̱̯̫̭̱͕̯̭̙̮͚̔̉o̸̡̫̺͌̀̂ͅn̶̨̬͔̬̟̲̣̈͑̿̂̒̈́̈̿̀̂̕̚̚͝e̷̬̥̰̞͈̰̳̱̼̪̙̬̙͛̀͛͐̓͌̾̔̍̓͛͆̾͛̕͜ ̶̦̙̩̯̗͖̼̦̳͔̜̞̘̈́͐̂̀s̴̛̻̜̭̪̱͈̼̬̦̹̀́̉̍͆͑e̸̦̙̰͑c̴̪̰͓̘̳̼̠̐̂͆͑̿̆̈͆̏̀̋̊͜-̵̭̮̟͓̳̣̝̤͎̠̫̩͖̏͂̆͑̀̏̑͌̑̐̀̆̍́͠"̵̡̥̥̠̟̗͉̠̗̀̂̔̽͌͋̀̚̕͠͝**

 **click**

 **"There, can you hear me now?"**

Not knowing what else to do, they nod. **"Right, I'm Mable's prosecutor. In accordance to Mableland law: My job is to protect your right to live in this bubble."**

"Wait, what? Where's Xyler and Craz?" Asked Mable confused.

 **"Oh, they couldn't make it. Something about being 'under the weather'?"** He stated innocently while (somehow) smirking.

...

Meanwhile, not to far away the two sparkly dream-hunks were frantically trying -and failing- to keep from drowning as the cinderblocks dragged them to the depths of the Gravity Falls lake...

...

...with not much choice, the twins reluctantly continued the trial, Slenderman- bored -more or less made the same arguments that 'wingus' and 'dingus' made in cannon, he tuned that out to mostly focus on making an invisible copy of himself and sending it into the past whenever he brought up one of the twins painful past memory.

...Many years ago...

He entered the memory of Mable running off crying as she got gum in her hair...which was then where Dipper got the razor with the idea to shave his head to make Mable feel better...

 **"Aw...isn't that sweet, what a lovely memory...Okay, enough of that, time for a retcon!"**

He appears before a younger Dipper, startling him.

 **"You need not worry about your sister."** Said Slenderman as he waved his hand over Dipper's face.

Dipper's eye's glaze over, "I need not worry about my sister." He repeated in a monotone voice.

 **"She will be fine on her own."**

"She will be fine on her own."

 **"You will go back to take your picture without her and not bother her for the rest of the day."**

"I will go back to take my picture without her and not bother her for the rest of the day."

 **"You will not bring this up, or talk about this again with her if you can avoid it."**

"I will not bring this up or talk about it with Mable at all if it can be avoided."

 **"Good. Now give me that razor and leave here with no memory of me."**

Dipper just nods, hands him the razor, and walks away back to the picture day assembly.

Slenderman smirked as he levitated the razor on the end of his finger. **"Ah, my dear Dipper. You put so much heart into this...what a shame the person you gave it to doesn't deserve it."**

The razor explodes and from that explosion, temporal ripples begin to surge forth from the past and effect the present...

...present...

Slenderman frowned as his copy merged with him, he could see that the 'bond' between the twins had weakened...but still not quite enough...

As he continued his 'defense' of Mable, he brought up the memory of Valentines day...while also sending another clone into the past...

...

A young Mable walked down the hallway to give her brother a much needed Valentine-

 **"You need not worry about your Brother."** Said Slenderman as he waved his hand over Mable's face while also snatching said valentine away.

Mable's eye's glaze over, "I need not worry about my brother." She repeated in a monotone voice.

 **"He will be fine on his own."**

"He will be fine on his own."

 **"You will go back to class without him and not bother him for the rest of the day."**

"I will go back to class without him and not bother him for the rest of the day."

 **"You will not bring this up, or talk about this again with him if you can avoid it."**

"I will not bring this up or talk about it with Dipper at all if it can be avoided."

 **"...I'm going to hit myself in the face with this frying pan."**

"I'm going to- **WHACK!** OW!"

Mable whimperd as she obediently went back to class without fuss while nursing the bruise she now had on her face...while Slenderman laughed...

Recomposing himself, **"Heh, comedy gold...but seriously though. You want Dipper to return to this?"** Asked Slenderman to the readers as he gestures to a sobbing Dipper, **"Going back to being friendless except his sister- A sister who clearly can't be trusted not to put her own interests ahead of his! And don't say that won't happen! She did it once without consequence, she can do it again- And don't use "Gravity** **Falls** **\- lost legends'** **(holds up the comic book) as a proof to the contrary! Not only did that prove that she remembered making the deal to Bill and LIED to Dipper, but she 'learned' the same lesson she learned in 'Sock Opera'...which she then forgot by next episode! So do forgive me if I don't think it'll stick!"**

Slenderman took a deep breath, " **Call me crazy but I'd think Dipper would be happy being around his first true friends he made in Gravity Falls who DIDN'T want to freeze time, ruin his dream just keep him with her..."**

He hold up Mable's Valentine to Dipper...and quickly burns it, **"Nope, some relationships are just toxic...and need to die."** Says the eldritch abomination as temporal ripples come from the destroyed cherished possession...

...present...

Slenderman, rolls his eyes as as Dipper makes his 'case'...but smirks as his 'retcons' have done their job, their bonds were weaker, Dipper argument wasn't as sound with no examples to fall back on. So instead of Mable immediately embracing him for a 'sincere' sibling hug as had happened in the 'prime' Timeline...she simply stood their conflicted...

Knowing he only had a brief window before Dipper recovered from this unexpected 'fumble', Slenderman struck.

He clapped sarcastically as he stepped forward, **"Amusing, my boy. Very amusing."**

Dipper just looked at him baffled, "What?"

 **"First of all...'wanting Ford's apprenticeship is living in a fantasy'? I mean...what? Just...what? My dear boy, how is that a fantasy? Living your dream of exploring supernatural wonders, working alongside an authority figure you admire and respect, surrounded by friends who love and support you? That's not a fantasy, that's a dream job!"**

Dipper looked conflicted, "Well Maybe...but...

 **-And 'spending all your time in a lab'? You love doing that! But more importantly, you do realize Ford spends a large amount of his time out in the enchanted forest doing research, right? Not to mention he seems to be interested in some globe-trotting! Seriously, where did you pull that little diddy, the 'half-assed excuses to wrap up a story' store?"**

Dipper looked at him annoyed, "Hey, come on now-

 **"Alright, mean and logical comments aside. I must admit you have some good points about you that are to be admired."**

Dipper looked at him surprised, "Really? Like what?" He asked curiously.

Slenderman (somehow) smirked, **"Why, How forgiving you are for one thing!"**

He gestured to Wendy and Soos, **"Why, you have the patience of a saint for wanting to still be friends with these two after they abandoned you and left their loved one's to die-**

"Wait, what?!" They both shouted indignantly.

Slenderman pointed to Wendy, **"You SAW your friends get turned to stone, your dad and brother are missing in the apocalypse...and your sticking a plunger to a made-up principal's head-**

He then points to Soos. **-And you'd rather play make-believe with a dad who abandoned you then save your loving Abuilita- who is still a COUCH -and the man who's ACTUALLY been like a father to you!"**

Both of them looked at him in horror...

"Wow...he's right...what the blood were we thinking?" Asked Wendy disgusted with herself.

Slenderman shrugged, **"Oh, don't feel too bad about it. This was just a very stupid episode...of your life. I rather think 'the powers that be' were too lazy to think of a better reason to get you two to leave and focus this tale on-** Points backwards to an increasingly confused Mable and Dipper **-these two yahoo's."**

The eldritch abomination (somehow) frowns, **"Drat, I lost where I was."**

 **(PAUSE)**

After pausing time he recollects himself as he looks through his notes; **"Okay...switch off glitch-speak, tamper with the past, make Mable hit herself, dream job, plunger on head- Ah, got it! Right, back on track** **now."** He quickly dose some vocal exercises to get back to 100%. **"Do, Rei, Mi, Fa, So, La, Ti, Do!** **Do, Rei, Mi, Fa, So, La, Ti, Do! Right, good now."** He snaps his fingers to get time moving again-

 **(UNPAUSE)**

He turns to Dipper, **"But in any case, the true sign of your paragonism is how easily you forgave your sister-**

"Forgave?" Asked Dipper suddenly very confused while Mable goes very pale.

Slenderman ignored this and continued on, **-your a better person then me Dipper, I'll give you that much. If I had a sibling that did THIS-** snaps his fingers to bring up a film projector and screen **-I don't think I'd EVER forgive her."** He sends a smug leer at a now very nervous Mable.

The film projector show a sobbing Mable running into the woods after the confrontation with Dipper-

"Uh, this isn't necessary! We can handle the trial ourselves! Your fired as my legal counsel!" Shouts Mable as she claps her hands to banish him and the projector away...which it didn't...

"What? But I'm queen here-

 **"Terribly sorry your 'majesty' but your power comes from Bill and I outrank Bill-**

"WHAT!?" Shouted Mable, Wendy and Soos. Dipper...Dipper said nothing...he was too busy watching...watching Mable give the rift to 'Blendin'...

 **At last! At long, long last! The gateway between worlds has opened! The event _one billion years prophesized_ has finally come to pass! The day has come! _The world is finally mine!_**

Shouted Bill revealing himself...

There was a long silence...

Mable, frantic. "DIPPER! Please, I was tricked! Bill tricked me! Like he tricked yo-

 **"OBJECTION! Technically, YES Bill did trick him and the deal- a DEAL need I remind you that he was forced to take because you wouldn't keep a PROMISE you made to him - worked out poorly for him. But that only caused problems for HIM! He didn't intentionally frak over ANYONE else to get his way when making the deal- give or take one measly puppet you could easily do without! But let's suppose hypothetically that it WASN'T Bill, that Blendin was Blendin and the deal was legit. YOU were willing to condemn EVERYONE; Man, Woman and Child to an endless, timeless purgatory without their consent or permission! Simply to satisfy YOUR needs! Because YOU didn't want to grow up! Not to mention you trusted the safety of everyone in Blendin's hand's for crying out blood-**

"HEY!" Shouts Blendin from a nearby, random time portal that briefly opens up-

 **"Shut up Blendin! I know what you did to the Mississippi purchase!"**

Now sobbing, Mable once more tried to defend her actions- "I- I was having a very bad day-

 **"OBJECTION! Oh, what? That makes all the pain and suffering okay then? That totally justifies dooming everything!?"**

"Uh...yes?" She asked weakly.

 **"...My dear, if a nuclear safety inspector missed a flaw that caused a meltdown that killed THOUSANDS because he was too upset to focus after having a 'bad day'...would you let him off the hook?"**

"Uh..."

 **"Oh, I'm sorry. Too big to comprehend? Let's do a smaller example then, if a chief SPAT in the soup- Maybe it's your soup, maybe it isn't. for the sake of sportmanship let's say You have about as much chance of not getting the spit as everyone else in the restaurant -because he was he was having a 'bad day'...would you NOT demand he be fired?"**

Mable was reeling, it was one uppercut after another! "But...but...I didn't even know what that thing was! Dipper never told me anything about the rift!" She pleaded.

 **"OBJECTION!...Okay, actually that's a good point. Dipper SHOULD have told you about that- But that doesn't change the facts I made in my first two objection! Namely: Accidental doomsday or not, YOU WERE WILLING TO FRAK OVER EVERYONE TO MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY! YOU SELFISH CUNT!"**

Mable gaped at him horrified, "I- I thought you were my lawyer!"

 **"No, I said I'm your PROSECUTOR. Big difference, really need to learn to listen."**

He turns to her; **"And as your Prosecutor it's my job to protect Mableland law; which centers around keeping you inside the bubble no matter what- Don't look at me like that! You wrote that law yourself! Not my fault your attitude toward the bubble has changed since it's inception."**

"Well I'm changing the laws right now!"

 **"OBJECTION! You made it illegal for yourself to do that during a trial! ...you also made it illegal for cats to wear purple on Thursday...and for fish to wear bow ties with peanut butter?"**

Mable groaned and face-palmed, "Why do I keep writing things under the influence of Smiley-Dip!?"

But Slenderman had already forgotten her and moved on to Dipper, **"Look my boy- let me be clear; this isn't a message saying you CAN'T trust anyone-** he nods to an equally lost looking Wendy and Soos **-but some people...for their own good as well as your own...just need to be cut from your life. And if willing to destroy the world and your dream life to keep you from leaving them isn't a red-flag for a Co-dependent/Enabler relationship relationship...I honestly don't know what is..."**

Dipper, simply looked lost, "I...I don't-

Slenderman held his hands in a placating, sympathetic way. **"Okay, okay. I get it, lot of things happening here. A lot to process. It's all crazy complicated...so why don't I make things a bit more simple, hmm?"**

With a snap of his finger, a very familiar device floated before the pine tree hat boy-

"The Quantum Destabilizer!" Shouts Dipper in disbelief.

 **" _Quantum Destabilizer 2.0_ to be exact! Indestructible AND more then enough to kill Bill and save the world! And I'll gladly give it to you for the low, low price of a 'promise'- **Makes his right hand burst into flames and holds it in a handshake fashion toward Dipper **-of cutting your sister out of your life and NEVER seeing her again."  
**

Mable waited...waited for Dipper to say no, to forgive and love her again like he always did...she waited...and waited...

Dipper...just glared at him, "Why should I trust you to keep your word? You say you outrank Bill, how do I know your also not WORSE then Bill? Or that you don't have a sinister motive behind all this?"

 **"Oh, did I not explain that? Silly me: to answer your questions: I AM worse then Bill, And I DO have a sinister Motive behind all this: I hate your sister and want her to suffer and the best way to do that is to cut you out of her life- I'll even slap in a promise not to PHYSICALLY harm her to sweeten the deal! As for why you should trust me to keep my word... well breaking my word would only be incentive for you to get back with Mable which would be rather counter-productive for my goals, wouldn't it?"**

Dipper was stunned by the rather blunt honesty...

"Wait, why do you hate Mable?" Asked Soos shocked.

"And you'd really sell out Bill?" Asked an even more stunned Wendy.

 **"Again, to answer your questions: She and what she's doing to Dipper reminds me of someone I hate but must forgive due to the wishes of someone I love who is also no longer with us...(awkward silence...followed by an awkward cough)... Annnnyway, Mable is under no such protection. As for Bill? So great is for my hatred for Mable...if I have to sacrifice one of my favorite drinking buddies to see her cry then so be it!"**

Again, the silence was deafening...no one knew what to say...what could they say to such an admission?

 **"Also, he is but one of an infinite amount of bills in the omni-verse. I'll make it up to him later, by allowing another version of him unrestricted access to an alternate Gravity Falls."**

"WHAT!?"

 **"I said ALTERNATE Gravity Falls! You'll be safe! Keep your shorts on!"**

"...Still disturbing."

 **"It's the best deal your gonna get, deal with it!"**

Dipper just frowns at this... "Mable would be unharmed?" He said finally.

Mable gasped, it couldn't be! Shirley Dipper isn't considering...

Slenderman nodded assuring he'd put her in a safe place, but Dipper still looked unsure...absentmindedly...he pulled out Mable's scrap book he took from the Shack before joining Ford in the town...so many precious, wonderful memories...and yet...Dipper eye's go once again to the film projector showing an endless repeat of Mable giving Bill the rift and bringing about Weirdmagedon...everyone was in danger...and he needed to save them...but Mable...was their relationship really toxic? Would it be better if they went their separate ways?

 **"Aw, I get my boy. Your first adult decision. It can't be all 'free liquor and no bedtimes', sacrifices need to be made... But unlike Mable, I KNOW you can do it! in fact..."**

 **(music starts)**

"Oh, frak. Are we in a musical?" Asked Wendy annoyed.

"I hope so!" Said Soos cheerfully.

Slenderman walked around Dipper...

 **It's time you learned a lesson!**  
 **It's time that you understand**  
 **Don't ever count on someone like HER-**

"HEY!" Shouts Mable before he zipped her lip with the snap of a finger.

 **-In this or any other land.**

Slenderman gives him a sympathetic hand on the shoulder.

 **I know you've always hoped for friendship with her**  
 **And saw her as someone who would be kind**

But he then waves a hand dismissively at the Mable on the projector.

 **But soon you'll those were the childish wishes**  
 **Of someone who was blind**

He quickly teleports in front of them and spreads out his arms-

 **OPEN UP YOUR EYES!**

He shouts at the same time as the explosions.

 **See the world from where I stand**

Bubbles filled with images of everyone- past, present and future -who was suffering thanks to Bill..thanks to MABLE...float around the room...

 **YOU among the mighty**

The bubbles now show images of a slightly older Dipper graduating from college at an early age, exploring under his mentor ford, having fun with his friends in Gravity Falls, being respected and loved by many, making out with numerous girls(Wendy has to hide her blush at that last bit)...it went on...

 **If You simply cage HER at my command**

And now the images are replaced with everytime Mable mocked him, refused to believe him, refused to take him seriously, and overall put her needs above his...

 **OPEN UP YOUR EYES!**

Que the explosions once more and the bubbles, ALL the bubbles.

 **Do what your sister couldn't and Give up your sweet fantasyland!**

He appears before Dipper and lightly 'bop's' him on the nose.

 **It's time to grow up and get wise!**

 **Come now, not-so-little one**

 **OPEN UP YOUR EYES!**

He snaps his fingers causing a dramatic fireplace to appear and the film projector to change to something different...

 **We all start out the same-**

Dipper watches how the trial would've gone without Slenderman's interference...

 **-With simple naïve trust-**

...How he and Mable would escape the bubble, rally the town, defeat Bill...

 **-Shielded from the many ways-**

...Watch as he and Mable leave Gravity falls together...

 **-That life's not fair or just-**

...spend their life together...

 **-But then there comes a moment-**

...never...ever...leaving..her side...or doing anything...

 **-A simple truth that you must face-**

Dipper...never dose anything with his life!

 **-If you enable others-**

He just stays with Mable, keeping her safe and happy!

 **-You'll never find your place...**

 **(music continues...)**

Dipper watches spellbound as the events of his future unfold...

 _A forty-something year old Dipper enters his parents house and takes off his fast-food uniform with a sigh as he looks down at his meager paycheck._

 _A forty-something Mabel (wearing a crazy sweater and surrounded by dozens of cats); looks up._

" _Hey Dipping sauce! Guess what!? I made a 50 ft butterfly made of comics...which I then set ablaze! I'm still the goddess of destruction!...also the police are here again to fine us for burning stuff without a permit...also for unintended arson damage to the neighbors house"_

" _Wait, what!?" Shouts Dipper just as a policeman steps out of the shadows and snatches up Dipper's paycheck._

" _Ah, come on man! I worked overtime the whole week at the drive-through to earn that!" Shouts Dipper. But the Officer had already left._

 _Dipper feels a drop of water on his head...the ceiling was leaking..._

" _I also created a new water slide for Waddles!"_

 ** _CRASH!_**

 _The ceiling gives way as a giant hog crashes down and breaks the floor; water soaking everything!_

 _The cats scatter in panic; breaking various household objects as they do so._

 _Mabel laughs at this. "Ah, they're cute when their crazy!" She shouts as she takes a picture of them._

 _Dipper sighs as he goes to check the emergency fund...only to find it empty..._

" _Hey Dipping sauce! Can we have Pizza tonight!? Duck-tective will be on!" Shouts the ever cheerful yet oblivious Mabel._

 _Dipper just hangs his head...and cries..._

Dipper is stunned by what he just saw...

Slenderman appears before Dipper to offer two hands toward him...

One ablaze and ready to make a deal...

The other has Mable's scrap book in it...

 **And as you take that first step-**

His form and voice remained neutral as Dipper slowly took the scrape book, Mable's heart filled with hope...

 **-Upon a path that's all your own.**

Dipper briefly flipped through it, lovingly caressed it...even hugged it...

A now relieved Mable began to walk toward him, arms outstretched-

Slenderman (somehow) smirked...

 **You see it all so clearly-**

Mable's hear shattered as Dipper threw her book into the fire and shook the flaming hand!

 **The best way for us all to survive is to leave her alone!**

"DIPPER!" Screamed Mable, the cure on her vocals lifted as she ran to him-

But he and the others were gone already, and she was now in a cage...

 **OPEN UP YOUR EYES!**

Shouted Slenderman as he slammed himself into the cage and shook it.

 **And see the world from where I stand!**

To Mable's horror, all her illusions of her 'kingdom' were stripped away.

No longer did she so her dream life...just Bill's twisted nightmare...

 **HIM among the mighty!**

And now Mable was trapped here...alone...

 **And You caged at my command!**

...forever...

 **OPEN UP YOUR EYES!**

Suddenly more Bubbles appeared...

Showing Dipper and the rest watching Mableland detach itself from the ground and float away...never to be seen again...

Dipper using the Destabalizer to kill bill and save everyone...

Dipper living a new life in Gravity Falls...

 **Behold the fading light!**

...it takes time...

...But eventually he's happier then she's ever seen...

...and she is forgotten...

 **It's time to grow up...**

He bops her nose playfully...

 **...and get wise**

He leaves her caged and surrounded by nightmares...

 **Come now little one**

Physically unhurt and in a safe place like he promised Dipper...

 **OPEN UP YOUR EYES!**

As long as she stayed in the cage...There was a note inside saying just that and everything...

And like that...he was gone too...

Mable sobbed...

She pulls waddles out of the folds of her sweater, "At least I still have you Waddles..."

Slenderman popped back, **"Oh, thanks for reminding me! I knew I forgot something!"** He shouted as he spirited Waddles into his hands.

 **"I Know what I'M having for dinner tonight!"** He laughed as he vanished again...

Mable curled up into sweatertown and sobbed...

 **May all our stories end so well! Until next time!**

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: The song is a remix of 'Open up your eye's' From the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Movie.**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	282. Ripped pants

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

...III...

It was a fun day at the beach...teenagers frolicked, kids ate ice-cream, the Gobbelwonker ate beavers...yes, very peaceful...at least that's what Wendy and Dipper thought as they swam in the surf together.

"Best day with my favorite boy! What more could a girl ask for?!" Shouted Wendy excitedly as she scooped up Dipper from the surf and gave him a hug. Dipper flustered as he felt her body through her red one-piece...

"H-hey, Wendy?" Asked Dipper out-loud...building up his nerve to ask her something important. "Huh, what is it?" Asked Wendy.

Dipper's blush became more pronounced as he hiked up his swim trunks, "Uh...I was just wondering..." Dipper sighed, "would you like to get something to eat?" He asked chickening out.

Wendy shrugged and she and a now very melancholy Dipper went and did just that.

Meanwhile, Dipper wasn't the only one feeling melancholy...

Mable, rocking a nice pink one-piece watched from afar and shook her head. "Dang it Dipper, your never going to get anywhere with Wendy if you keep chickening out...what you need is a game-changer...and who better to give you one then ME! MABLE! Gravity Falls # 1 matchmaker!

She watched as Wendy found herself enticed into a weight-lifting contest by one of her friends. Dipper...trying to look cool(and failing miserably as usual), joined in.

Mable groaned...this was NOT going to be pretty.

Wendy, naturally had no problem...Dipper on the other hand.

 _"DON'T BLOW THIS DIPPER! WENDY'S WATCHING!"_ Thought Dipper to himself as he struggled to lift up some weights...he struggled, oh how he struggled, he threw his whole body into it-

 **RIP!**

The loud ripping noise echoed across the field, everyone gasped in surprised. Dipper's eye's traveled cautiously to his backside. Not having much choice, he was forced to turn around to see what had happened...displaying a rather large hole in the back of his swim-trunks, exposing his A-hole to everyone.

Naturally, everyone- including Wendy and Mable -broke out into laughter. Humiliated, Dipper covered the hole and runs away.

A random guy walks over to Wendy, "That was too funny! That kid is hilarious!" Wendy nodded, "Ain't he the funniest little guy you ever saw!?"

Mable heard this...and she got an idea! "That's it! Laughter! Who can say no to a person asking for a date while their making her laugh? You can never have too much laughter after all! I'll have Dipper make Wendy laugh again! And have him ask her out then! Good idea, Mabel. Thanks, Mabel!" She says to herself.

...

Dipper frantically hide behind a water barrel next to a on-going game of volley-ball...desperately avoiding Wendy as she searched for him nearby.

"Now's your chance bro! Go for it!"

"GAH!" Shouted out Dipper startled, he turned to Mable who'd snuck up behind him. "Mable, don't do that!...actually, good thing your here, I need you to get me my clothes!"

"Yeah...about that...how about instead you rip your trunks again and use Wendy's laughter as the opportunity you need to ask her out!"

Dipper looked at her dumbly, "Mable...did you eat sugar packets again?"

"That's not the point, point is, go for it!"

Dipper just shook his head, "Look, Mable I can't deal with this right now. I'm cutting my losses for the day, if your not going to help then leave! I can't afford you drawing attention to me!" Dipper went back to looking for an escape route...

Mable just frowned as her mind raced. _"He wants to ask her out...but he's too sacred...maybe he needs a little push. Another good idea Mable! Thanks again Mable!_

Suddenly Dipper felt her sisters hands on his shoulders, and her whisper on her ear. "Brother, whatever happens I just you need to know something: this is for your own good."

"Wait, what!?" Shouted Dipper as he suddenly found himself tossed into the middle of the volley ball game, right in the path of a ball!

 **RIP!**

And that's how Dipper ended up flat on his face, rear in the air, tear in his trunks now even bigger showing everyone his SCRAWNY A-hole.

Naturally, everyone- including Wendy -laughed. Mable quickly runs to Dipper, "Dipper quick! She's laughing! Ask her out, hurry!"

Dipper just glares at her, "Mable would you PLEASE just leave me alone!?" Shouts Dipper as he runs away, covering his hole humiliated. "Dipper! No, come back! Your blowing your chance!" Shouts Mable as she runs after him.

Robbie, seeing a good opportunity to hurt his nemesis immediately threw a Frisbee at Dipper, clonking him good-

 **RIP!**

Dipper once more ended up flat on his face, his rear in the air, tear even bigger. Exposing his PASTY-WHITE, scrawny, CHEEKS to everyone.

Once more everyone laughed, Dipper! You still got a chance! Come on bro-bro! I can only do so much! You need to meet me half-way here if were gonna do this!"

Dipper snarled at her, "do I SERIOUSLY need to explain to you why I don't want to talk to Wendy when I'm almost naked!?"

Now most people would agree at this point would agree that this was a terrible plan and cut their losses...Mable wasn't most people. Her natural 'Pine's stubbornness' was kicking into overdrive. Which would be great if the current situation was supernatural battle of wills...not so much for a social situation involving her brothers dignity...

Mable rolled her eyes impatient, "FINE! I'll go the extra mile! Never say I don't do anything for you!"

Before Dipper could stop her, she was dragging him to a ice cream vendor in front of everyone. "Hey, we'd like a banana split!" Shouted Mable.

"Uh..we don't serve that." Stated the Vendor awkwardly. Mable laughed, "That's okay! My bro just SPLIT his pants!"

"Please help me." Said a mortified Dipper.

"Uh, okay...anything else?" Asked the increasingly uncomfortable Vendor. "Sure! RIPPLE!" Shouted Mable as she forcibly split Dippers trunks in front of everyone. "No thanks! We already got them!"

Mable was swept up in the laughter! She started to run back-and-forth forcibly dragging a humiliated Dipper along-

"Do you know what would taste great with that? RIPPED PANTS!" RIP!

"RIPPED PANTS ALA-MODE!" RIP!

"Anyone order 20 orders of RIPPED PANTS!" RIP!

Mable was having such a good time that she didn't notice when the laughter started becoming uncomfortable...and forced.

"MABLE!" Mable turned around to see an angry Wendy coming at her. Oblivious to this, Mable smiled, whispered to Dipper that his chance had come, ripped his poorly abused trunks/rags one last time and tossed Dipper into Wendy's hands.

Dipper just sniffed as Wendy held him tight, "Wendy...would you please just take me home?"

"What? Dang it Dipper I- "SHUT UP MABLE!" Snapped Wendy at a surprised Mable. "Seriously Mable it was funny the first- She suddenly shook her head. "Actually, you know what? No, it was NEVER funny. And frankly, I'm a bitch for ever laughing at Dipper."

She whispered a quick apology to her distraught friend, and he said he'd let it go if he could just get some clothes. Wendy nodded, gave one last angry glare at Mable and left.

Mable just looked around baffled, "Wha...my plan failed?" Suddenly, Robbie was beside her, "It didn't fail...you just need to freshen up your act." Said Robbie with a smirk.

Mable nodded and smirked, "Your right! And I know just how to do that!" she suddenly ran forward as Robbie cackled evilly.

She jumped up to Dipper and Wendy, "Hey everybody! Not Ripped pants!

 **RIP!**

"PANTS RIPPED OFF!" Shouted Mable as she successfully ripped off Dipper's trunks in front of everyone. "SOMEONE CALL THE POLICE! THERE'S A PANTS THIEF ON THE LOOSE!"

This time...No one laughed(except Robbie). Bad enough Dipper was now naked...but even worse was that before that he'd been enjoying the guilty pleasure of being once more squeezed against Wendy's bosom...and was currently showing his tiny boner to everyone.

Robbie laughed, "Hey twerp! Looks someone hit you with that shrink-stone and made you the size of a two year old!" He mocked.

Mable just turned Wendy, "Okay, you know what!? I'm just going to ask you out for him! Come on! He's funny, right?" She smiled at the two of them-

 **CRACK!**

 **I HATE YOU!**

Screamed Dipper as he struck Mable and ran away in tears...

 **WHACK!**

 **JERK!**

Shouted Wendy as she stamped down on Mable's stomach numerous times...

Wendy then walked over to Robbie, "And don't think I didn't notice you jerk! I think the 'pants thief' is about to get another victim!" Before Robbie could stop her, his trunks are ripped clean off...and just like that...the laughter was back...except Wendy...she was busy running after poor Dipper...

And of course...a black eyed Mable lying flat on her back in the sand wasn't laughing either...

...

Mable sighed, no one was talking to her and she hadn't seen Wendy or Dipper for hours...she sighed. "We blew it Mable."

"What do you mean we?" Said the Mable in her head as she caused her thought balloon to vanish in a huff.

Mable put her head in her hands, "Oh, I didn't have to make Dipper a fool to impress Wendy...better yet I could've just minded my own business! AM I THE BIGGEST LOSER ON THE BEACH!?"

"Yep." Said Pacifica as she randomly walked by and out of this story...

"No, I'm the biggest loser on the beach, I forgot sunscreen." Said a grossly burnt up woman.

"Ouch." Sympathized Mable.

"No, I'm the biggest loser on the Beach...I got sand in my buns." Said a man who bent over and was about to pull down his trunks to show-

"NO! That is fine! We believe you! Stay dressed, PLEASE!" Snapped Mable quickly.

Suddenly the ground beneath her shook and a giant Aioshima popped out of the ground, "No, I'm the biggest loser on the beach. They buried me here and forgot about me."

"Wait, how dose that make you a loser? If anything it sounds more like your friends are just inconsiderate jerks." Points out Mable.

"Huh...never thought of it like that...that actually makes me feel better, thank you." Said the Aioshima grateful.

"What happened to you?" They all asked Mable.

Mable sighed, "I lost two of the most important people in my life." "How?" They all asked.

Mable grabbed a conveniently placed guitar...and started a song.

 _When I ripped_ \- She paused to rip her one-piece - _HIS pants.._

 _I thought I could win her onto his side, but then I went and blew it. All Sky-high._

 _And now he won't even give me a passing glance. All because I_ \- Paused to rip her suite again - _Ripped HIS pants._

The losers began to sing with her. "Wait, how do we know this song?" "SHHHHH! WERE LIVE! JUST ROLL WITH IT!"

 _When Dipper never seemed to do anything but bring himself down. Mable turned him into a clown._

 _And no Brother ever wants to dance with a fool who went and_ \- Paused to rip shorts - _ripped HIS pants._

Mable sang again.

 _I know NOW I shouldn't mess around. I shouldn't involve myself in others fuss. But the pain feels so much worse._

 _Cause winding up with no one is a lot less fun then a burn from the sun-_

The losers sang again.

 _-Or sand in your buns!_

...

Meanwhile, Wendy was making out with a nearly naked Dipper. His modesty covered by nothing save for a rubber ducky inner-tube.

It's then that they heard Mable's song, Dipper rolled his eyes. "Oh goodie, a 'feel-good, Aesop-heavy, heartwarming melody that's supposed to magically make everything okay again' song."

Wendy shared his disdain as she also rolled her eyes, "Yeah, like we don't see enough of those already." She snarked.

Their was an awkward pause..."So ARE you going to forgive her?" Asked Wendy.

Dipper went into deep thought, "I don't know...on the one hand she horribly humiliated me...on the other hand...she did bring us together...in a roundabout way 'off-screen' way..."

"Your not gonna tell her that last part, are you?"

Dipper snorted. "Good blood, no! No way I'm encouraging this behavior!...in fact...if you could kindly pretend were not a couple for a couple more days..."

Wendy nodded, "Whatever it takes to keep Mable from doing something like this again." She affirmed.

Dipper nodded appreciatively, then frowned. "Well...honestly, I don't want to stay mad at Mable...but I also don't want her to think I'm just a 'doormat'"...

And then it hit him, he smugly whispered to Wendy, who nodded, and together they went to see the end of Mable's song...

...

And you won't end up like the girl who ripped HIS pants- They all rip themselves to the sound of thunderous applause.

Mable smiles as the whole beach applauds...and then she sees her brother and Wendy. "Dipper!" She shouts excitedly as she runs to him.

Dipper quickly finishes some last minute quantum stitching calculations, and quickly holds his hand up. Stopping Mable in her tracks.

"First of all Mable; Good song. Second; here's the thing: Mable you know more about girls then me. I don't contest that. More importantly; I will not contest that I will probably need that advice." Mable smiles.

-However, that dose NOT give you an excuse to run wild. I won't ask you to stop being YOU, we love YOU. But you need to learn to reign it in; know when to NOT get involved in other people's business- Or failing that, at least know when to 'know when to fold them' when a plan is clearly bad...okay?"

Mable frowns at the anvilicious Aesop sentence that just hit her...but nodded.

"Okay...that's..fair...we cool then?" She asked cautiously.

"Hold that thought." Said Dipper as he takes one more look at Mable and compares it to his calculations, he nods in satisfaction.

He then turns to Wendy, "Hey Wendy wasn't their something you wanted to ask Mable?" he asked giving her their 'zip across the mouth' code.

Wendy quickly copies it with a smile and turns to Mable, "Mable that song was righteous! Would you sign my swimsuit?" She asks as she gives her a pen and bends over.

Mable smirks, "absolutely buddy." She then bends down to oblige-

 **RIP!**

Her swimsuit then rips off completely, leaving her completely naked on-stage. "Okay, were cool." Said Dipper with a smile as a humiliated Mable covers herself as the crowd wolf-whistles and cheers...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	283. Wendy the Cougar 6

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

RasenganFin: I like the second bit, but I already have plans for this version of Wendy. I think you'll like it. I'll give you a hint- in the first version of Ben 10, what episode did Ben meet his first love interest?

ImperialStar: Sorry, one-shot.

Gamelover41592: 1. (shrug) What can I say? I like to do new things. 2. thanks. 3. Thanks, the important thing is that she's in a better place. 4. yep.

...III...

Blood-shot eye'd and ragged Wendy sighed as she knocked on the umpteenth door. To her irritation, yet ANOTHER old flame of her's opened the door- you never realize how many old flames you have until your forced to talk to all of them at gunpoint by the chief of police...

"Wendy?" Asked the guy confused.

Blubs kept the gun squarely on her back, "This pervert's got something to tell you." He said firmly.

"Your finally doing something about her constantly stealing guys of their clothes and making them streak home in shame?!" He asked excited.

"Nah, that's perfectly legal...unless it's a guy doing it to girls...kind of an unfair law, but what can you do? In any case, read your lines perv!"

Wendy groans, on top of everything she had gotten no sleep last night between all the mug shots and interrogations...and now this:

"In compliance with Gravity Fall and Federal law; I Wendy Blerble Corduroy am telling ever person within a 50 mile radius of my home and other are's of lifestyle that...that...

"Read it! Don't make me pepper spray you again!" Shouted Blubs.

Wendy sighed in defeat, "...I'm required by court order to tell you I'm now a registered sexual predator."

The guys eye's wnet wide, "Wow...suddnly I'm VERY glad you broke up with me...Really dodged a bullet there." He quickly goes back inside.

Wendy sigh's, "Well, he took it better then my last ex...what kind of town let's you sue your ex-girlfriend for infidelity? How dose that even work?" She gripes.

"Less talk, more walk! We 165 more houses to visit!" Snaps Blubs, jabbing her in the back with the gun to keep her moving.

Wendy sighs humiliated, but dose as she's told. You'd think that a mechanical sea monster destroying the town would be enough reason for people to clear the beach's and let Dipper sneak around to find her clothes...but apparently no one told her dad that...

He saw Dipper's modesty covered by his daughter's one-piece and immediately tried to castrate Dipper for 'violating his daughters virtue'. Naturally, Wendy had to run naked out of the water to stop him-

...Annnd run smack into Blubs and Durland. Between seeing her naked and hearing Manly Dan give Graphic and LOUD detail and how the two MUST have had sex...they naturally jumped to the wrong conclusion, arrested her(while completely ignoring Dipper's pleas for help and mercy), made her walk naked through town to the police department, AND then have her registered as a predator!

...so basically, not her best day.

 _"And the most annoying thing is, I can't even say it's not the truth! What I did to Dipper...what I want to do with him...maybe this is for the best...now I can stay far away from him..."_

"Okay, this paperwork checks out." Said Blub's voice behind her.

Wendy turned around in shock to see Dipper handing Blubs some forms!

Blubs turns to her, "Alright miss your free to go. Your friend here explained and proved everything, your off the predator list."

Wendy's eye's widened in disbelief, "Dipper?" She asks amazed.

Dipper sighed, "This is all my fault. If I wasn't such a klutz, I'd never have lost my trunks, and you'd never have had to sacrifice your dignity..."

Wendy looked at him stunned, he thought this was all HIS fault?

"What? No, Dipper I-

"Shame on you boy! getting this sweet girl's reputation destroyed! Just for that, I'm giving you a shock collar!" Dipper somberly accepts it without a fight

"Wait, what?! No, officer I-

"It's okay Wendy, it's the least I deserve for putting you through that hell I-

 **ZAP!**

Dipper yells in pain as the collar activates, "Yep, I'm peeing, I'm peeing!" He cried from the ground writhing in pain.

"Well, I've done my duty for today! Who's up for lunch?" Shouts Blubs as he leaves behind the now smoking boy while a frantic red-headed teenager tries to restart his heart...

...Meanwhile...

"Mable, why did you attack that guy?! I could've gotten you out of here quickly! Even after burning down half the town, This dump is FULL of messed up laws to exploit!" Shouted Stan through the prison bars.

"How was I supposed to know he was the Judge?! He was holding out on my sweets!" Shouted prison jumper clad Mable inside the cell...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	284. Pop goes the Gravity

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

The Howling Behemoth: 1. I think I have, but thanks. 2. Only Mable is in jail, Stan was able to get off scott free.

RasenganFin: I might just do that...thanks

...III...

"Pain...so much pain!" Shouted Wendy as she put an icebag to her face. Indeed, Dipper, Mable and Wendy were in pain...from numerous Mutant Bee sting attacks...

Dipper groaned too..but read his journal anyway. "Dang, another secondary hive! I'll never be able to read the authors hidden writings until I get the blood of the Queen at the MAIN Hive!" He'll double checks the map he's made. "I know were getting close...If we can just-

"Can we take a brake!? We've been stung by five different hives already!...not to mention how fracking hot it is today!" Interrupted Wendy a bit tersely.

Dipper blushed but nodded, he could never go against Wendy...Plus she was right...it WAS hot...

"Not to mention you two promised to help me perform that new acrobatic stunt I saw in my magazines!" Pointed out Mable.

It was at that point they saw a flier for a big party at the gravity Falls pool.

"Party at the pool! YEAH! That's what we need!" Shouted Wendy excited! "So many people to show my stunts to as well!" Also shouts Mable.

Dipper frowned, "Wait but Poolcheck won't want us invited...Me and Wendy got banned...and the less said about what Mable did-

"THAT WAS NEVER PROVEN THAT I DID IT!" Snapped Mable defensively.

Wendy smirked, "No problem dude! Tambry was in this same sitch for pool theft awhile ago! And she told me as long as we get into the pool during his lunch break, he has to let us stay! Some Bi-law or something, I guess."

Dipper got a thoughtful look, "Okay, so when's his lunch break then?"

Wendy smirked as she brought up her watch, "Oh it'll- Her eyes went wide! -Dang it! I lost track of time! If we don't get into the pool in 10 minutes, Poolcheck will get back to his post and we'll miss our chance!"

Mable smirked, "The pool is only 5 minutes away! No problem!"

Dipper flustered, "Uh, guys? We don't have swimsuit-

"No time! I know a bargain bin store nearby we can get what we need!" Shouted Mable as she and Wendy grabbed Dipper and dragged him away hurriedly before he could protest again!

...

Quickly, Dipper found himself shoved into a dressing room. Mable quickly grabbed three swimsuit-like things from the bargain bin and threw them to each of them.

"Uh, Mable?" Asked a flustered Dipper as he beheld the 'swimsuit'(Which frankly looked more like a napkin then anything) "I really think you should get me another-

"NO TIME! JUST CHANGE! DON'T MAKE ME SEND WENDY IN THERE! I'LL DO IT!" Fearful, Dipper did what she said. Just in time, no sooner had he put it on- "GO! GO! GO!GO!" Shouted Mable as she burst into the dressing room and started to drag him away. "Wait, Mable I need to grab my- "NO TIME! WERE ON THE CLOCK!"

They got inside just before Poolcheck came back...He growled at them, "Your lucky I respect the laws of the pool before all else- But I got my eye on you! One bad move and your out!" Then Poolcheck got thoughtful. "Although, I could throw you out now...your only not 'indecently exposed' by the loosest of technicalities..." Then he shook his head. "nah, I could never look myself in the mirror afterward." He walked off in resignation.

"Indecent exposure? What is he- And that's when the girls got their first look at what their actually wearing...the skimpiest, smallest bikini's you ever did see!

Both girls flustered and covered themselves, "Ooookay...we probably should have paid more attention to what we were wearing." Admitted a flustered Wendy.

"Or, what you forced other people to wear!" Snapped a flustered Dipper annoyed. Both girls turned to Dipper...and Mable had to try not to barf...while Wendy had to bite her lip to keep from giggling.

To say that the 'speedo'- and frankly even that term was being too generous, considering how much it covered(or rather...DIDN'T cover) -wasn't very flattering on Dipper...was the understatement of the century.

"Uh-(snicker)-what do you mean Dipper? You look great!" Said Wendy, as she tried to both sound sincere and pretend that she didn't notice the tiny boner he was getting from seeing her-

 _"Wow, that 'thing' really isn't concealing his 'secrets'...like at all."_ Thought Mable as she threw up in her mouth a bit. "Yeah, Dipper! What are you talking about, you look great!" Said Mable while keeping her eyes away.

Naturally, that was Pacifica's que to come by. She took one look at Dipper and burst out laughing. "Oh, wow! I've seen Ken dolls with more balls!" She stopped only long enough to take a pic and kept laughing as she walked on...

Dipper flustered and glared more at the two girls, he was quick to point out he couldn't even change since the girls forced him along to fast for him to grab his clothes...they were still in the dressing room...the girls had also left their clothes behind in a hurry...

Both girls laugh nervously as they try to have Dipper see the bright side of the situation...only to falter under his glare...and sigh in resignation and swear that they'll make it up to him...

But they convince him to not let this get him down and enjoy the party...and they actually do have fun, the water and food is great...even Dipper lightens up after seeing Wendy give Robbie a wedgie and tie his bathing suite- with him still inside -to a tall branch tree after he flirted with her...

After a large thing of Pizza is brought up, everyone clears out most of the pool and crowds to that one area, leaving most of the pool deserted.

"Hey, you know what? This is the perfect opportunity to try out that trick!" Shouted Mable excitedly. "We can practice it on the other side of the pool while everyone else is busy eating, and then really dazzle them for real when they come back!"

Wendy and Dipper shrugged, they didn't have anything better to do. So they obliged, they stood at ready. Mable then Somersaulted through the air and landed on them where they quickly held her up high-

 **RIP!**

Which as it turns out was too much for their suites...they popped clean off them and whizzed through the air, landing in various snacks and beverages in the thankfully still oblivious party goers...the most notable was Pacifica, who's frankfurter got knocked out/replaced by Dippers speedo...she promptly ate the whole thing without being the wiser. "YUM! I don't know what was in that, but that was the tastiest thing I've ever devoured!" She shouted loudly...causing Dipper to get an even brighter shade of red.

Naturally, the surprise of the whole thing caused the three of them to topple on top of each other...

"Mable, get your girl parts away from my face!" Snapped Wendy. "Yeah...that's actually me." Said a mortified Dipper.

Wendy flustered at what she just said, "Uh...When i said 'girl part's'...I meant-

"Just don't! Please!" Snapped Dipper as he pulled himself away...unintentionally putting both himself and Mable in view of each other...they both promptly vomited...

"wow, so didn't need to see that."

"...I- Yeah, that's 5 years of therapy right there."

And then Dipper got an eyeful of Wendy...wonderful, curvaceous- "DUDE! YOUR NAKED! WE CAN BOTH SEE YOUR BONER!" Shouts out an even more mortified Wendy and Mable.

Dipper just wished he could curl up and die...but their was no time for that! People were coming back to the pool area! They needed to hide!

They quickly dis counted the main pool as the water was too see-through, so they quickly jumped into the hot tub under the tree that Robbie still hung. The girls quickly draped their hair Godiva-style to hide their chests, while the bubbling water covered their privates

"Okay...just relax...were just three people hanging out...act natural until everyone leaves...then we sneak away." Assured Dipper.

"Hey!" Shouts a familiar voice. "Or not." Groaned Dipper.

Pacifica got up to the hot tub. "Get out, I want in." Dipper blushed, they couldn't make her leave! She'd throw a fit and draw WAY too much attention to them. "Uh...you know, you can come in, plenty of room." He offered quickly.

Pacifica glared suspiciously. "Okay, what's the deal here? you are being WAY too nice to me!" She pointed out.

Dipper and the girls started to panic, "Uh, no deal! It's just...it's too hot to be mean, you know what I mean?" Asked a panicky Dipper while silently scooping more foam onto his mid-section to cover himself.

...this did not go unnoticed by Pacifica...who also couldn't help but notice the lack of straps on the girls backs...

She smiled evilly, "On second thought, forget that! I just want you out!" She turns to Poolcheck. "Poolcheck! Throw them out!"

Poolcheck smirks as he comes toward them- "Wait, what about the Bi-laws!?" Shouted the three of them in panic. Poolcheck shrugged, "the bi-laws are overruled by the golden rule of Gravity Falls: do whatever the Northwests ask."

Dipper panics, Poolcheck was walking- he never runs at the pool -so they had some time...but time for what? And that's when Dipper heard a familiar sound...

Dipper was immediately filled with dread as he squinted upwards...and saw that he'd been right...the main hive HAD been close..and now it was in the tree above them...all the mutant bees mostly asleep.

Dipper hated to do this- both because of the loss of the queen and the ensuing pain -but they had no other option!

The hive was too far away...but Robbie wasn't. Dipper smirked as he grabbed some rocks from nearby and tossed them at Robbie.

"OW! HEY! QUIT IT!" Shouted Robbie as he flailed wildly...shaking the branch he was on.

Pacifica looked at him confused, 'What are you-

 **RIP!**

A naked Robbie feel into the pool where everyone laughed at him...

 **CRACK!**

And down went the hive right into the pool as well...the bees were NOT amused! The bees stung every inch of everyone in the pool...before moving onto everyone else...

Pacifca screamed as she tried to run...past a vindictive Wendy who reached forward-

 **RIP!**

And now a naked Pacifica was running past a now VERY happy Dipper and out the pool...into a very busy intersection where she was also laughed at...

The trio had no time to enjoy the victory...they ran like the dickens into the woods where no one could see them, foam still covering their bodies despite everyone too busy dealing with bees...

Dipper sighed, "That was TOO- OW!" Turns out a stray Bee had just stung the tip of his ding-dong...

The girls tired very hard not to laugh at poor Dipper's predicament as they ran all the way home...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	285. Wendy the Cougar 7

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

Gamelover41592: thank you

RasenganFin: hilarious. Unfortunately, This was a one-shot. But I'll try to put it elsewhere

...III...

Wendy groans as she relaxes on the recliner in the shack...it had been touch and go...but she'd managed to Hot wire the collar and restart Dipper's heart through CPR. She was especially wracked with guilt that she had to fight herself tooth and nail to not draw out the filling his lungs with air part for her own fun under the logic of "If I kiss him now and he dies I can't kiss him later."

This guilt was not helped when Dipper asked how she knew how to hot wire the collar. Wendy tries dodging the question but Dipper had asked "Why won't you tell me?" and had been crying, not out of emotional vulnerability but because of the electricity that coursed through him causing the tear ducts to secrete saline.

It looked like he'd been heart broken to Wendy who can't lie to that- from her perspective -Angelic face. Wendy had cracked and told Dipper that she knows how to hot wire cars and had stolen cars before but never totaled any, mostly joy rides with the pride and joy of nasty teachers, though most weren't ones to be proud of. She mostly scared the teachers before returning the cars.

This got a good laugh from Dipper, much to her relief.

she had then called her dad to get him to help care for Dipper since Stan is no where to be found. Wendy had explained what happened in the Police office and Dan makes Dipper food gets a first aid kit from the truck- he has 5, he's a lumberjack. It's how he's survived that long himself -and gets Dipper Stable before he'd driven off to find Blubs and Durland playing with a Hydrant with their shirts off being idiots. Dan had screamed at them while spitting profusely and told them if they ever put Wendy on the predators list or a Shock Collar on a boy again he's put a shock collar on them both at the same time and crank the dial to 11, all while choking them in public in midair.

"GET EM! GET EM!" Tyler had shouted excitedly...right before some random ninja showed up to pummel him...

Wendy was happy to be off the sexual predator list...but now she was more conflicted then ever...Dipper had taken the wrap for the whole fiasco and had been willing to suffer the consequences for it- true, she doubted he'd known about being shocked. But that was beside the point!

No guy had ever been that caring or selfless to her before...and she could still see it...his impossibly teeny weeny...she wanted...she wanted to tear his clothes off, make him run naked through the streets, humiliate him, dominate him, tower over him...and then kiss-

Wendy went redder the usually as she suddenly came out of her fantasy...and groaned, _"Yep...I DEFINITELY belonged on that sexual predator list..."_

And surprise- surprise, who should come by to ask how she is? Why her boy-toy in waiting Dipper Pines!

Fortunately, before Wendy could get flustered and make a bigger fool of herself-

"KIDS! PACKAGE!" Shouts Stan.

Apparently, due to Mable attacking the judge...and numerous other people, she'd be in jail for awhile...but she was staying busy! to keep her mind off the crushing loneliness she made a wax figure of Stan and mailed it to him!

Stan loved it so much-

"I'M REOPENING STAN'S WAX FIGURES!"

Ordinarily, Wendy would pass on doing such a 'lame' activity. But anything that got her mind off recent events was now like ambrosia to her!

 _"Yep, just me playing with lame giant dolls...nothing inapropriate and weird about that!"_ she assures herself with a smile as she walks to dust off Sherlock Holmes...not noticing Coolio briefly look at her...

...

"Alright! Time for our priosn book club! Who else loves 'My Troubled Pony?'" Asked an excited Mable to her fellow prisoners...

 **CRACK!**

...they responded by 'clubbing' her with books...

 **OW!**

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	286. Laked Naked

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

...III...

"Alright Dipper! I'm sick of you ruining my time with Wendy! I challenge you to a blob off!" Shouts Robbie as he jumps on the blob, and gets a good fifty feet in the air! Everyone applauds.

Robbie laughs, "Top that!" He demands.

Dipper shrugs, "I can't top that." He then quickly winks at Mable, who then uses the amulet he gave her to jump into the water and fill herself with half the lake. Dipper smirked, "Except-"

Dipper jumped on the blob just as Mable let out a torrent of water at him! "YOU GOT BURNED!" Shouted Dipper as the water spout/Blob combo sent him soaring into the stratosphere.

Everyone applauded harder, especially Wendy. "YEAH! THAT'S MY BEST GUY!" She shouts proudly as she runs into the lake to congratulate him

Robbie just snorts 'whatever' and leaves annoyed...

"Dude, you split the sky!" Shouts Wendy impressed. Dipper flusters under the praise, but quickly composes himself.

"Thank you, but I couldn't have done it without Mable!" "Thank you Dipper!" Exclaimed Mable as she gave him a hug.

"It's like that- Dipper suddenly looked down shocked- and maybe a little green -as he looked down at his sisters body. "Dude?"

"Yes?" Asked Mable.

"Why are you Nakey in the lakey?"

"Naked!?" Shouted Mable. Her eyes turned small, she went deep into the lake, and then came back out again.

She gasped for air, looked down, screamed, and covered up.

"I'm naked, I'm naked, I'm naked. AH!" She yelled caught off-guard.

Wendy tried to calm her down, "Relax, Mable we'll find it! It couldn't have gone far!...how do you lose a one-piece anyway?" She asked confused.

Dipper held up a stray piece of fabric. "Uh...looks like Mable's sudden expansion caused her swimsuit to explode...which actually makes sense when I say it out-loud."

Mable flustered, "What am I supposed to do?" She asked embarrassed.

Dipper took a deep breath, "Okay...you know what? This is my fault, I gave Mable that one-use amulet to impress Wendy...so it's on me to fix this."

And before both girls and Soos's surprised eye's he took off his trunks underwater and handed them to Mable. "Wow, that's really cool of you Dipper!" Said Wendy impressed- while also keeping her eyes away from Dipper's newfound nudity.

Dipper flustered, both due to her compliment and his self-awareness to the close proximity of his crush to his naked body. "It's not ideal, sure. But at least she'll have some modesty. Plus Mable can just wear your hair Godiva style. As long as she gets out of here quick, I doubt anyone will see-

 **SQWACK!**

"Oh, come on!" Shouts both Mable and Dipper as a mother bird swoops down and snatches his trunks before he can give it to her.

"Quick Dipper! Run to get them, if you cut across the beach you might be able to grab it before it fliest too high!" Shouts Soos frantically.

Dipper gives him a stunned look, "You want me to run naked out of the lake in front of everyone?"

Soos frowned, "Oh yeah...that's not really a smart move is it?" He realized.

Wendy just slapped her forehead annoyed- while also keeping her eye's away from Dipper -"Okay, new plan: We find you two ANYTHING to wear...we'll look everywhere...except here." Added a flustered Wendy.

Mable sighed as she floated up toward the dock- "Hey, Mable!" Shouted Robbie as he suddenly came out on the dock.

"GAH! Hey, Robbie!" Shouted a flustered Mable as she hide behind the ladder.

"Look, I'm not going to mince words. What will it take to have you tell me where you got that amulet? I can totally make Wendy like me with it, I'll make it worth your while!" Insisted Robbie.

I'm wearing clothes!" Shouted Mable as she suddenly hide behind a beach ball.

Robbie looked at her weird, "Are you...naked?" He said finally.

Mable flustered, "Your not going to find my swimsuite, throw it into the drain, then drain the lake humiliating me...are you?" She groaned.

For a second...Robbie considered it...then he groaned. "Dang it!...if it was your brother, YES in a heartbeat...but...I JUST can't humiliate a girl!" He groaned out loud.

Mable quickly motioned for Dipper to go where Robbie couldn't see him, "Yep! Just me naked! Not Dipper!" She lied lamely.

Fortunately, Robbie was too busy wallowing in self-pity over NOT humiliating the sister of his hated rival. "Not only is it wrong...but I'm pretty sure you'd kick my butt if you did it- WENDY! I meant Wendy would kick my butt!" Corrected Robbie quickly and laughed nervously, "Heh, heh, of course Wendy...like a little girl could beat me up!" He lied lamely.

Mable just blinked at him...not sure how to respond to that...then she shook her head. "Fine whatever, look if I agree to get Dipper to give you another water amulet will get me something to wear?" She pleads.

Robbie sighs, "Fine! But just because of the amulet...not because I like you or anything." He states flatly in a poor attempt to sound cool.

Mable smiled as she stood up a bit, "Well, what ever the reason- Thanks Robbie." Said Mable, oblivious that she had just unintentionally exposed her bare chest to Robbie.

Robbie flustered...and gulped, "Right, sure, great, whatever, bye now!" Shouts Robbie as he quickly runs off...in a desperate attempt to conceal his 'bulge'.

...

Soos thought he saw a swimsuit store across the parking-lot, he ran for it- GAH! Only to learn that the parking-lot recently had fresh tar put in, causing him immense pain in his bare feet. Causing him to fall over, go into more agony-

 **VROOM!**

Went a car going over Soos-

 **RIP!**

Soos is surprisingly okay, his trunks are not...

Soo's screams of pain as his bare wang is deep roasted, get Wendy to run to him fast. She nearly vomits from the sight of a naked Soos.

A delirious from the pain Soos cackles. "Ooo, Wendy..you going Commando with me?" Asked the now very drowsy Soos.

Wendy just flustered while still averting her eyes. "Uh, sure. Why not?" She said humoring him in disgust.

Soos tried to laugh off the pain, "Wendy and Soos. Getting a swimsuit and kicking butts."

"As long as I'm not touching your butt." Said Wendy quietly to herself in disgust.

Finally Soos couldn't stand the pain anymore, "Wendy help me!" He pleaded

Wendy cringed, "I just can't. your all naked-

WENDY!

"Alright, alright! Just stop screaming!" Wendy vomits as she's forced to use a spatula to pry him off of the ground.

Meanwhile, that mother bird has accidentally flown low with the trunks, hitting a power line, setting the trunks on fire, the bird panics and drops the trunks...right onto Robbie-

"GAH!" Shouted a panicky Robbie as he swerves to avoid the flaming debris-

CRACK! Which unfortunately caused him to land on/break the reservoir pressure valve, which quickly started to drain the lake-

Both Mable and Dipper paled, "uh, oh."

Robbie also paled, "Oops."

"HEY!" Robbie turned around to see a ticked off Wendy covered in tar, blood, melted Soos flab, and fecal matter(don't ask).

Robbie suddenly realized that Wendy probably hadn't seen his conversation with Mable, worse he had Dipper's burnt trunks and the broken valve wheel in both hands.

"WAIT! THIS ISN'T WHAT IT LOOKS-

Wendy was already throttling him, she ripped off his trunks and kicked his butt to the other side of the beach...

...Meanwhile...

"Constable Blubs I do hope nothing unsavory happens to me here during my visit, as you know I am the Queen of England." Said the queen as she was escorted by her royal guard across the beach.

Chief Blubs nods, but looks at her weird. "Actually while were on the subject...why are you- a foreign monarch -visiting a rinky dink town in the middle of nowhere?" Asked Blubs confused.

The Queen gave a hearty chuckle. "Oh, yes. I suppose that seems rather random- even absurd out of context. But there is a rather sensible- and somewhat witty anecdote that explains the whole chain of event. You see I-

 **CRASH!**

...And that's when a naked Robbie landed right in front of me, "Oh, my gracious! My eyes have been soiled by this naked girl!" Shouted The queen as she fainted!

Robbie blushed over the 'girl' bit and covered himself, "Hey it's...cold! Okay? Anyway, who are you to judge?"

The Guards didn't answer...they were too busy beating him up...

...Meanwhile...

Both twins were mortified, the lake was draining fast! And if that weren't bad enough- "Hey everyone! The lake is draining! Let's all huddle closer in to see!" Shouted random bystander 23.

Sure enough, everyone huddled closer to where Mable and Dipper are. Both siblings are quick to ignore the awkwardness of the close proximity to each others nudity in order to fight over the beach ball to conceal each other's respective shame.

"Mable, come on!"

"Forget it Dipper!"

"Mable, please! You know about my shortcoming!"

"Oh, you have a tiny wang, and that makes it okay for me to be humiliated?"

"You have a great body! Why be ashamed of that!?"

"(shudder) You realize you just said that to your SISTER, right?"

"(pauses to vomit) Yeah...literally did not occur to me until it came out of my mouth...But still! I need this!"

"What about owing me for giving me the amulet that destroyed my swimsuit in the first place?!"

"I gave you my swimsuit! That MORE then cancels out that! Not my fault a stupid bird grabbed it before you could take it!"

"Forget it!"

"I'm taking it!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

 **POP!**

Both siblings paled as the last thing they had to cover their shame literally went flying away in deflation...worse the water levels were getting dangerously low...

...

Wendy sees this and promptly ran toward her friends-

 **SCHLUP!**

Only to fall into a hole... "OH, COME ON!" Shouts Wendy as she tries to lift herself out of the hole-

 **rip**

Wendy looked at the small tear in her swimsuit, courtesy of a small twig jutting out of the side of the hole. Wendy furiously tries to pull it off, but between the snag and her placement in the hole...their was literally no way of getting out without completely ripping off her suite.

Wendy groaned, but sighed...she knew what she had to do-

 **RIP!**

A flustered Wendy quickly emerged naked from the hole, "Okay, if I'm quick I'm sure I can grab them before anyone sees-

 **SCHLUP!**

"Seriously!? WHO MAINTAINS THIS BEACH!?" Screams Wendy as she falls into ANOTHER hole.

...

"Well, Wendy's out." Sighed Mable as she sees Wendy's naked fall. A flustered Dipper also sighed, although annoyed at the circumstances and frightened of his imminent humiliation...he was glad that Wendy's modesty would be safe from prying eyes...which reminded him...

"Mable I'm sorry for earlier...I panicked and was desperate- But that's no excuse, it's my fault your in this situation...so just get behind me and I'll conceal you. It's not perfect...but hopefully people will be too busy laughing at me to notice you." Placated Dipper.

Mable thanked Dipper and promised to make it up to him latter. The water was currently so low they were forced to squat down to hide their privates, Mable hugged Dippers back desperate for concealment from the leering eyes of the world...

Dipper sighed...he could feel the water level receding past his butt...people were gathering closer...it was only a matter of time before the mockery started...unless some crazy 'Deus ex machina' nonsense occurred as a distraction. But really, what were the odds of-

"Hey! Guys! convenient distraction over here! in the form of a naked Girl getting her butt whooped by the queen of England's royal guards! She has no junk and makeup and everything!" Shouted random bystander 137.

"It's mascara!" Shouted an enraged/resigned/humiliated Robbie from far away...naturally everyone ran to him...

Deciding not to question these crazy circumstances, the two twins were quick to run into the woods-

 **KAW! KAW! KAW!**

Only to be swept up by birds!? "WAIT, WHAT!?" Shouted both siblings as they were grabbed by their arms...and flown right beside Soos!?

"Hey, Dudes! I somehow tamed giant birds!"

Dipper looked at him baffled, "How-

"There's no time for questions!" Interrupted Mable! "Quick, grab Wendy and Robbie!"

Sure enough, both were quickly grabbed by other eagles. And they in turn found themselves flying side by side with the others.

Despite the situation Dipper couldn't help but relish the situation, major humiliation averted, they were flying, he was getting a nice breeze over his body...it made him laugh!

"I can't believe we got through this nightmare without anyone seeing us naked!" Exclaimed Dipper happily.

Wendy giggled, "Uh slugger? Hate to break it to you...but your forgetting about us."

Dipper flustered as he realized what she meant...they all had literal bird eyes view of each other. Worse, since the eagles were grasping their arms. Their was no way to cover themselves without risk of accidentally causing the eagles to let them drop to their death.

In other words: Dipper could see Wendy in all her glory, and Wendy could see his tiny prick get an erection at the sight of her.

...Dipper was seriously tempted to make the bird drop him to his death. An equally embarrassed Wendy just smiled, "Dude relax...were in the same boat here...besides, it looks like Robbie's got you beat hands down when it come's to smallest 'shortcoming'."

"Ah, hey come on!" Shouted an annoyed, naked, and battered Robbie...Suddenly Mable appeared beside him.

"Uh, hey Robbie...I appreciate you not ratting me out...and even though that distraction was probably not on purpose...it really helped us out...so thank you." Said Mable as he gave him a kiss.

Robbie blushed, this plus the sight of Mable's bare body...

"Dude! That's my sister! Not cool!" Shouted Dipper annoyed, at the sight of Robbie's 'joy'.

"See something you like 'little' boy?" Teased Mable suggestively while an embarrassed Robbie tried- and failed -to cover himself.

While Mable and Wendy playfully tease Robbie and Dipper about their perspective, Soos was living it up-

"NAKED BROTHERS AND SISTER FOREVER!" Screamed Soos-

 **CRACK!**

 **WHACK!**

 **SMACK!**

 **CRACK!**

 **WHACK!**

 **GAH!**

Cried out all five of them as the tips of tall trees whacked them in each of their respective genitals/labia...they all whimperd from the pain, tears cascading down their faces all the way home...which was full of more tall trees-

 **OW!**

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	287. Wendy the Cougar 8

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

Gamelover41592: thank you

RasenganFin: I like it, but I have BIG plans for that episode as well.

no name: Thank you for the review!

...III...

today had been crazy! Stan's wax head got cut off and stolen and Dipper had made it his mission to find the culprit!...and Wendy had been impressed! Dipper was quite clever! Tricking all those people to give him signatures to compare and contrast which hand's were lefties. He was More clever then any other guy she'd known...which admittedly wasn't really saying much, but whatever.

She especially got a laugh at him fooling 'pizza lover guy' to give him his signature by pretending to be a pizza guy! ha! That mustache made him look like a porn star...yeah, a porn star...with pizza...and those lovely, small shorts...

Wendy blushed and quickly shook these thoughts away, she needed to focus! Right now Dipper was confronting Toby Determined with the police!...only for Toby Determined to be innocent?

"If I were you I'd be super embarrassed right now!" Exclaimed Toby as he and the police laugh at a shamefaced Dipper.

Seeing Dipper sad made Wendy snap, "Embarrassed? Him? HA! At least Dipper's not a third rate reporter making out with cardboard who still lives with his mom!"

"She lives with ME!" Snapped a now sobbing Toby.

"And you!" Snaps Wendy at the cops. "Me?" Asks Blubs confused. "Yeah, you! The long, flabby arm of the law! Maybe Dipper didn't solve it, but at least he TRIED! More then you lunkheads did! The last case you got to- shakes his belly for emphasis -was a case of MALAMARS!

Dipper thanks her as they leave the three adults to sob...

...

 _"Am I seriously trying to get entertainment for a dolls funeral?"_ Thinks Wendy to herself as she looks through some of her old party stuff to throw together...honestly she'd rather be trying to just cheer Dipper up, he was clearly still feeling bad for not solving the case...she wished there was some way-

And then she finds her 4-year old culture appreciation day project...she blushed...but smirked...

 _"I'm totally doing this for Dipper..."_ She rationalized to herself...

...

Dipper sighed as his gruncle droned on and on about his beloved 'figure'. It was bad enough he failed...but to fail in front of WENDY...she must think he's such a joke...

And then the lights go out.

Dipper eye's go wide as fire starts to appear and Wendy...Wendy dressed in an outfit, several sizes too small for her, barely had any fabric holding it together and was made by blind natives-

 **Never know how much I love you**  
 **Never know how much I care**  
 **When you put your arms around me**  
 **I get a fever that's so hard to bear**  
 **You give me fever (you give me fever) when you kiss me**  
 **Fever when you hold me tight (you give me fever)**

She swung her torches through the air-

 **Fever in the mornin'**  
 **Fever all through the night**

 **Sun lights up the day time**  
 **Moon lights up the night**  
 **I light up when you call my name**

She juggles the torches-

 **'Cause I know you're gonna treat me right**  
 **You give me fever (You give me fever) when you kiss me**  
 **Fever when you hold me tight (You give me fever)**

she playfully pretends to stab Stan with a torch, casuing him to have to faint...

 **Fever in the mornin'**  
 **Fever all through the night (Wow!)**

 **Everybody's got the fever**  
 **That is somethin' you all know**  
 **Fever isn't such a new thing**  
 **Fever started long time ago**

 **Baby, turn on your love light (Yeah, yeah)**  
 **Let it shine on me (Yeah, yeah)**  
 **Well, baby,…**

She swallows a torch and breaths out fire!

 **You give me fever (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)**  
 **You give me fever (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)**  
 **You give me fever (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)**  
 **You give me fever**

Dipper was thankful that it was dark...and none could see his 'bulge'...

 **Romeo loved Juliet**  
 **Juliet she felt the same**  
 **When he put his arms around her**  
 **He said, "Julie baby you're my flame"**  
 **Thou givest fever when we kisseth**  
 **Fever with thy flaming youth**

She dances toward him...

 **Fever I'm on fire**  
 **Fever yea I burn forsooth**

 **Captain Smith and Pocahontas**  
 **Had a very mad affair**  
 **When her daddy tried to kill him**  
 **She said "Daddy oh don't you dare"**  
 **"He gives me fever with his kisses"**  
 **"Fever when he holds me tight"**  
 **"Fever, I'm his missus"**  
 **"Daddy won't you treat him right?"**

He dances around him...

 **Now you've listened to my story**  
 **Here's the point that I have made**  
 **Chicks were born to give you fever**  
 **Be it Fahrenheit or centigrade**

Dipper is sweating bullets...

 **We give you fever when we kiss you**

She leans closer to his mouth...

 **Fever if you live and learn**

Still leans in closer...

 **Fever till you sizzle**

still closer...

 **What a lovely way to burn**  
 **What a lovely way to burn**

A nervous Dipper leans in his lips closer as well...

 **What a lovely way to burn**

Wendy opens her mouth and let's a chocolate kiss fall in his mouth before jumping away

 **What a lovely way to burn!**

 _"And to think the teacher gave me an 'F'...true, it was because I studied the wrong country. But whatever! I kicked butt!"_

Thinks Wendy as her confused and flustered friend tried to make sense of what just happened...

...it was also then they noticed all the wax figures were melting...and screaming!

 _"OH! Right...I also burnt off the teachers eyebrows..."_

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: the song is 'fever' by Peggy Lee.**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	288. Like Mable leaves fluttering in the wind

**In memory of my Aunt Beverly ch. 1  
**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

 **THIS STORY WAS WRITTEN SOLELY BY** **GojiraCipher** , **THANK YOU FOR THIS.**

...III...

At the Mystery Shack, Grunkle Stan was sitting on his deck, eating pancakes. "Ahhhh, nothing like a quiet afternoon with nothing but pancakes. Just pancakes with syrup made by the Symbolic Stuff Co. and no pants." He ate while wearing his boxers and undershirt. "With Soos being Mr. Mystery and Ford and I adventuring, it's nice to have a silent non-paying employee lifestyle that will never be interrupted by some random-"

"Waaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!"

Stan dropped his pancakes from shock as Mabel passed him as she drags Dipper with her.

Inside the Mystery Shack, Soos was showing his audience his next attraction.

"Now behold. The Shrieking Watermelon!" All the guests gasped in amazement as Mabel filled in the screaming as she passes by and stopped at the candy machine.

"Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right B, A, Start!" Mabel shouted as she puts in the actual code and opened up the elevator and pulled her brother in.

"Should we ask?" Soos's girlfriend Melody turned to her co-worker, Wendy.

"I saw the look on Dipper's face, they're fine." Wendy said as she kept on reading a magazine.

Downstairs in the basement, Mabel was explaining everything to their other Grunkle, Ford Pines, as he try his best to understand his arm wailing niece, keyword being 'try'.

"AndthenthispandawhichIthoughtwasapandatriedtosellmecookiesbutthenDipperpushedmeandgotstung!"

"It missed." Dipper added to Mabel long dialuge.

"AndtheniturnedoutthatthepandawashalfscorpionandhalflawyerandtriedtosueuswhileitwascarryingitssinagainstnaturebabiesonitsbackwhichwasstilladorablebutthenDipper-"

"Mabel. I. Am. Fine." Dipper turned around, showing only bruises. "It did nearly get me, but it didn't. And it was a Panda/Scorpion/Lawyer hybrid, so you know. A creature that stopped chasing us when it got mud on its suit."

"I've heard of more stupider things in Gravity Falls." Ford added. "But not as weird as what my brother was passing off as 'real' in his tourist trap."

Mabel however hasn't calmed herself down as she puts on a head mirror and took out a stethoscope. "He's being delusional by the venom. Let me hear your heart!"

"How long did you have those with you?" Dipper asked as he moved back. "Mabel, I'm fine. See my clear face with no facial hair yet. Which I hope I get some soon."

Seeing no change in Dipper, Mabel took off the doctor gear. "O.K., fine. It didn't hit you. But you were this close, I mean this close to being stung!" Mabel held her two fingers up, practically touching. "You could have gotten seriously hurt!"

"Mabel, that pretty much every week for us!" Dipper raised his voice, but calmed himself quickly. "Alright, look. It was a very close call today, like with McGucket's lake monster robot, or those gnomes."

Mabel tried to object, but Dipper kept on going. "Or when we found that pterodactyl, the time we ran from that Summerween Trickster, the Shapeshifter, and even Weirdmageddon. After all that, we made it out at the end, didn't we?"

"But … but."

"Come on." Dipper waved his hand and head to the elevator. "Let's get some ice cream."

"Whaaaaa?" Mabel raised her eyebrow in shock. "Did, did you just see that?!" Mabel asked Ford as Dipper left. "How can he just brush that off to the side like that?" She turned to her great uncle, hoping for an answer.

"Well you two did go on a lot of dangerous adventures last year. He's probably used to it by now."

"Used to it?!" Mabel gasped. "But he almost died, saving me? I would have gotten stung if it wasn't for him. What if he died just to save me because I as being stupid, then what?"

Ford kneeled to Mabel and placed his hand on her shoulder. "Well he is right about calming down, but it is always good to learn from mistakes."

Mabel pondered as Ford continued.

"Have some ice cream and rethink it when you're in your Mabel mood. Perhaps you'll learn something."

Later on at the Ice Cream Parlor, Mabel was eating vanilla ice cream from a cup with Dipper who was enjoying cookie dough ice cream on a cone, still thinking over what happened today.

"The second I saw a cute panda selling cookies in the middle of a cemetery with a bunch of crows watching me, I ran right there without a thought. Have a I always been this reckless?"

She was being very quiet, and she knows it. A quick glance to Dipper and she saw her brother quickly look away, curious.

"You still feeling bad?" Dipper asked, seeing Mabel's distress.

Mabel hesitated to ask, but recalling Dipper listing their adventures, she blurted out a question. "Do I usually get us into trouble?"

Dipper was taken a bit back by the sudden question. "Well … kind of." Dipper scratched his head. "But not like I didn't mess up too. Like when I feel for Bill Cipher's trick and he possessed my body, or when I took Grunkle Stan's advice on flirting, or all those times when I try to get together with Wendy."

"You rang?" Dipper nearly feel over as Wendy pulled right besides them on her bike. "I can't wait till I get an actual car."

Dipper quickly calmed himself down. "Hey Wendy, we were just talking about some screw ups we did last summer."

"Oh, sorry to interrupt." Wendy smiled as she glanced at the ice cream parlor. "Just picking up an ice cream order for Mr. Mystery and Melody." Wendy looked over to the quiet Mabel. "I said Mr. Mystery and Melody …. Hey, still got one of your wedding bell comments?"

Mabel raised her head and looked at Wendy. "Oh, sorry. Guess I used em all up."

"Something's wrong." Wendy was always there when Mabel will joke around about those two getting married behind their backs, not a single moment. She looked at Dipper who looked concern. "Hey Dipper, mind if I have a quick chat over there?" Wendy pointed to the counter as Dipper followed.

Even with a weary heart, Wendy pulling Dipper away caught her attention. She doubted it was some confession, especially after the Shapeshifter, but she quietly sneaked around them without their knowing.

"She still feels guilty about putting me in danger." Dipper told Wendy as she placed her order. "Then she asked if she caused a lot of trouble last summer."

"Objection." Wendy smile. "When we were dealing with that unicorn, I already knew Mabel as the nicest girl around, that's why I wanted to grab some hair without that stick head horse knowing."

"She does mean well…" Dipper looked away in thought as Wendy paid for the ice cream.

"Is this going to ruin my thoughts on Mabel?" Wendy asked, feeling a bit worried.

"No no …. It's just ….." As she took the ice cream, Dipper walked a bit forward as Mabel jumped to the side of the building. "Remember the time Bill Cipher took control of my body?"

"Oh yeah. Should have known something was up when he asked Soos if he wanted to know when he'll kick the bucket." Wendy shivered.

"Well he asked me for a puppet, which I thought he meant a sock one, and then he reminded of all the sacrifices I made for her while she only did one thing by saving the journal."

"I bet most of them were trying to get with me." She gave the boy a sly smile, making Dipper embarrassed.

"Yes ….. But I was thinking of how her pushing me to get over my crush on you caused problems, or when she got us caught by the Blind Eye."

Wendy gave him a sheepish smile.

"She also took the Love God's potion and when she chose to trust Stan over me with that portal, though luckily that was the right choice." Dipper felt his chin. "But I did put up a sign at that fissure where Mabel fell for Bill's trick and brought Gravity Falls to Weirdmageddon."

"She mess up too. She's only human." Wendy answered as Dipper turned around.

"I know, but now I'm thinking she's feeling guilty about today and probably really overthinking it." Dipper placed his hands in his pocket. "I don't have any grudges over her. Heck, after her she feel in that portal when the Grunkles and us were looking over the aftermath of Weirdmageddon, she wanted to start making herself better. Still don't know what she meant about someone looking like her."

Wendy walked besides him and bend down. "She's just upset. All she needs to do and cool down and have a good night sleep." She nudges the boy. "Just give her time."

Dipper felt better by Wendy's encouragement, but not Mabel.

"I did say I want to be better." Mabel leaned on the building. "But yeah, I didn't help Dipper out during that road trip, I was just helping Candy. Why didn't I notice Grunkle Stan teaching Dipper how to flirt?" She felt her head while sliding down. "And yeah, the only thing I remember helping Dipper out with Wendy was telling him to just be himself and forget the dumb list. Heck, with Waddles and time travel, we could have just gotten back farther and I coulda both won Waddles and help Dipper. Two for the price of one!"

"Mabel?" Mabel looked to see Dipper scanning the area for her. "Oops. I'll think about this later."

Though that wasn't true. After she slipped in and explained she needed to use the bathroom, she spend the whole day thinking about her actions. Not just from last summer, but throughout all her memories.

"Did I get Dipper into detention because of some frog I found, or was it some other kid?" Mabel rubbed her head as she climbed into bed. She looked at the empty bed besides her and recalled another memory. "Right, we fought over that room because my sleep over drove him crazy...and I drove him outside to the wolves"

Hearing her brother coming, she put on her casual masquerade and the two greeted goodnight to each other.

As she lay in bed, she had one more thought. "Am I good sister?" She took a deep breath and smiled. "Hey, maybe Dipper and Wendy are right. I just need a good night sleep and think it all over later." She snuggled herself in and smile. "Maybe …. I can try hooking Dipper up with a girl …. I … I still think Pacifica's secretly interested."

And so she fell asleep to calm her mind...

...or so she thinks...

…III...

 **DEDICATED TO THE LOVING MEMORY OF MY AUNT BEVERLY RIEBOLD 1933-2019**

 **MAY GOD BLESS AND WATCH OVER HER  
**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	289. Like Mable leave fluttering in the wind2

**In memory of my Aunt Beverly ch. 2  
**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

 **THIS STORY WAS WRITTEN SOLELY BY** **GojiraCipher** , **THANK YOU FOR THIS.**

...III...

"Just a little more summer …" Mabel slowly hands Blendin the rift from the portal. "Now it's time to have more fun before …. Wait a minute." Mabel looked around her twilight covered forest surrounding. "This seems oddly-"

"Oops." Blendin suddenly dropped the scientific looking snowglobe and began laughing maniacally.

"Oh no! Wait!" Mabel pleaded to the green-eyed Blendin.

Blendin snapped his fingers and the roots of the trees sprang from the ground and wrapped around Mabel. "Hey! This isn't part of the script!"

"Neither is he!" Blendin pointed someone running towards them.

"Mabel!" Dipper called out. "What happened?!"

Bill Cipher exits from Blendin's body. "She just handed the key I need to invade this world. So you can all blame her for my actions." Bill's arm stretched towards Dipper and grabbed the boy.

"Don't hurt him!" Mabell called out as Bill pulled Dipper.

"Relax, I won't be doing anything." Bill said as he wave his finger. "The audience will."

Suddenly the forest around them turned into a game show stage with flashing bulbs, stands, and a big sign.

"Now it's time for everyone's favorite game!" Bill Cipher said as he pointed to the audience, which were all him.

"Child to Corpse!" The audience shouted.

"With your host, me!" Bill Cipher bowed to his audience as one of them held up a sign reading 'Marry You'. "Now today we have two very special guests. Give it up for Shooting Star and Pine Tree!"

The Twins were now on a road, hearing nothing but cheers. "We're playing Frogger, are we." Dipper asked as Bill floated towards him. "I guess you can call it that, but instead of a frog, you'll be playing as a bowling pin."

Dipper's body morphed into a bowling pin, with only his head intack. "Ahhh, this plastic pin can't hold my head up right!"

"And that's the fifth joke!" Bill laughs as he appears next to Mabel. "Now Shooting Star, I just inspired a lot of creeps online. Now you need to make the choice."

"Choice?" Mabel nervously asked.

"How do you want to knock down your own flesh and blood!" A Bill Cipher in a sparkly dress showed Mabel three options. "You can choose either; a bored dalmation, this metal death trap some middle-aged loner calls a car, or a ball?"

With her heart racing, Mabel chose to follow her best instincts. "I choose the ball."

"Great choice!" Bill Cipher grabbed the plastic ball. "Now to make some modification."

"What?!" Mabel then found herself in a giant hamster ball. "Ooooh, I always wanted one of these." Mabel grinned as she feels the giant toy.

"Now to turn your brother into a bug and have you roll over him!"

"What what, wait!" Dipper was now a beetle with a brown wing case and three pairs of legs. "Why was that bowling pin body even necessary? And why didn't you shrink my head!" Dipper gestured to his normal sized head on the small insect body. "I don't even have lungs! How is my head getting enough oxygen and blood from this?"

"Hard work." Bill Cipher's formed a baseball bad. "Batter up!" Bill his Mabel's hamster ball as he rolls towards the helpless Dipper.

"No, stop!" Mabel turned to stop the ball, but she was unable to and kept on rolling straight to her brother. "No, no! Ahhhhh!"

"Ahhhhhhhh!" Mabel suddenly awoke from her room, with her brother sleeping peacefully. She catches her breath and sigh. "What a relief, for a minute I thought I-" But as she looks around, Mabel found herself trapped inside another giant hamster ball. "Ahhhhhhhhh … oh wait, I I was sleeping in this last night." Mabel sigh again as she reflects on her dream. "Wow, I let Bill Cipher have that weird snowglobe when he possessed Bill, just in time when I wanted more summer."

Mabel took a deep breath as she quietly unscrew the lid and exit the ball. She looked at her brother sleeping with one of his mystery novels in his hands. "I should have saw that coming." Feeling uneasy, she decided to walk outside to watch the fireflies floating in the air to find a mate.

"If Grunkle Stan hadn't trick Bill, that stupid triangle would have ruined everything." She looked at her own bare hands. "Because I opened the door because I'm a big silly head." She rests her silly head on her hands. "Heck, Dipper would have found the cure for the common cold if I hadn't stop him from living here. Heck, he would probably would've found a girlfriend, or the Fountain of Youth so he can get with Wendy. Because Wendy was so out of the question with the Fountain of Age."

(Flashback)

Dipper and Mabel were just staring in shock as Wendy viciously attacks a fountain next to a pond. "That's for all the childhoods you've robbed!"

(End Flashback)

"After that talk over at the highschool, who can blame her." Mabel picked up a rock and tossed it in the air. "Now he's going to go to this non-musical high school and it's all because of me!" Right when Mabel threw the rock, a person suddenly appeared before her.

"Hey, this isn't the OW!" The rock landed directly into the face of Blendin Blandin. "Who threw that!? I gotta a … a fist!" Blendin noticed a shocked Mabel. "Oh, hey Mabel. Am I back at-"

"Shell Shocked!" Mabel shouted as she tackled Blendin to the ground. "I know you're Bill you body snatching ….. Hey, your eyes' aren't green. Oooooh, your iris is plaid."

"It's a condition!" Mabel jumped off Blendin. "And no I am not possessed and it will be the last." The time traveler stood up and brushed off the dirt. "My body is staying pure."

"He he, sorry." Mabel smiled sheepishly. "So what brings you at this time?"

"I was actually on the run." Blenin looked at a futuristic watch. "But what are you doing here late a night?"

"I had a nightmare, about Bill." Mabel rubbed her head. "I was the one that gave him this portal thing."

"Really? Well good thing Time Baby doesn't know." Blendin rubbed his head. "You'll probably be on the run too."

"Really?" Mabel played with her fingers out of nervousness. "If he finds out, where would I go?"

"Well you can always escape to another dimension." Blendin said as the two sit on the deck. "Dimensions have like separate timelines or something. Time Baby controls this section of worlds while some weird metal dragon controls some other world. But that monster is now some kid's pet, so I doubt it can eat you if you run there."

"Ugh, no dimension traveling for me again." Mabel held her hands up in disgust. "FYI, if you see another me, have her pet a kitty."

"I don't know what you're talking about, but O.K." Blendin took out his Time Tape. "Well I better get going, they'll probably find me here."

"Yeah." Mabel smiled. "This is where we all first met after Dipper lost that game for Wendy and I won Waddles … hmm."

Blendin noticed the puzzled look on Mabel. "You're thinking about something and for some reason I don't like it."  
As Blendin steps away, Mabel looked at him. "I know we did this a dozen times, but what if I find a way that Dipper can win that game, and I can still keep Waddles."

"O.K., that's it!" Blendin held up the tape. "I'm going to the wild west and you can't stop me!"

"Wait, hold on!" Mabel tried reaching for the tape, but Blendin tried keeping it away from her. "This is going to lead us into some dangerous adventure!"

As they struggle, Dipper came through the front door and yawned. "Mabel, are you … Blendin?" Dipper noticed the Time Tape on Blendin's hand. "Not again!" Dipper rushed in as Mabel grabbed the tape.

"Got it!" But as Mabel pulled the tape, Dipper bumped into Blendin and the machine was dropped, cracking the device.

All three looked at the broken tape silently.

"... I guess that's it?" Dipper shrugged. "For a minute there I thought-"

 **ZAP**

And in an instant, they were gone...

…III...

 **DEDICATED TO THE LOVING MEMORY OF MY AUNT BEVERLY RIEBOLD 1933-2019**

 **MAY GOD BLESS AND WATCH OVER HER  
**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	290. Like Mable leave fluttering in the wind3

**In memory of my Aunt Beverly ch. 3**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

 **THIS STORY WAS WRITTEN SOLELY BY** **GojiraCipher** , **THANK YOU FOR THIS.**

...III...

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" The three fell though several dimensions which includes favorable franchises before landing face first on some weird large asteroid floating in space.

"Not again." Mabel rubbed her head as she noticed Blendin. "I just jumped right ahead, as usual." That's when she noticed her brother getting up. "Oh ha ha, now I got Dipper in trouble again. Way da go, stupid Mabel." Mabel pounded her own head in frustration.

"Mabel, Blendin?" Dipper looked around the asteroid-like planet. "So …. Mind telling me what happened?"

Mabel and Blendin looked at each other, then started to ramble on at the same time. The only thing Dipper was able to pick up on was that it was Mabel's fault somehow.

"Where else but Gravity Falls … and here?" Dipper looked at a hill and climbed up to get a better view. "Yep, the middle of nowhere, literally." Dipper said as he gazed upon the rocky terrain and the dark void of space. "Well at least we can breath despite an atmosphere." He slid down to see Mabel and Blendin finally calming down.

"I really need water now." Blendin took out a bottle of water and checked his hair. "Stress can lead to hair loss and I just got this."

Dipper glanced over Mabel who looked very guilty. "Well Mabel, mind telling me what happened? Nice and clearly."

Before Mabel could speak, she was interrupted by a sudden buzzing noise.

"What was that?" Blendin asked before taking a drink.

They huddled together as what look like two flashlights were waving around. As the buzzing became louder and louder, something metallic revealed itself from behind a boulder.

"Oh no!" Mabel shouted! As the two lights aimed directly at them. "We're trapped in a video game!"

The lights came from the eyes of a large robotic wasp. "Bzzzzz! Bzzzzz!" The robot wasp flattered its wings as it's aim its large stinger towards Dipper.

"Dipper!" Acting quickly, Mabel swiped the water bottle from Blendin and threw it towards the wasp. "Eat shirt circus!"

"It's short circuit." Dipper corrected her as the water bottle headed towards the machine. But then ….

"Howdy Ho!" The robot spoke as the stinger opened up and a robotic arm popped up with a medical kid. "I see you kids and janitor are lost. Here are some supply for your-" then the water fell on the wasp, 'shirt circus-ing' it. "ANNIHILATION!"

The stinger instantly pulled in the arm and turned into a death ray as several small rocket launchers popped out of its abdomen ….. That's the end part of an insect.

Dipper slowly turned to Mabel and gave her that 'What the heck' look as Mabel sheepishly shrugs.

"Don't worry! I was trained for something like this!" Blendin said as he protects the kids.

"What's that?" asked Dipper and Mabel.

"All we have to do is GET THE HECK OUT OF HERE!" Blendin grabbed the kids arms and pulled them away before a laser as shot and vaporized a hill.

"All shall be destroyed! The moon shall crash! Another beloved celebrity shall see thy maker!"

Dipper and Mabel tried to catch up with Blendin as they dodged rocks and craters, but the robot wasp simply flew over every obstacle.

"The polar ice caps shall melt! Your puppy shall be hit by a car! I'll spoil the ending of the 36th superhero movie!"

"How are you two doing?" Blendin asked the kids, as they both nod. "Good, which is why I need to tell you know that jumping on a Time Officer for his time machine is a really really bad idea!"

Dipper turned to the guilt ridden Mabel. "Why? Was it because of today! Or yesterday? Or whatever century or dimension we're flung to?"

"Hey look, a Shadow Heartless." Blendin pointed at a small humanoid black creature with antenna. "We're somewhere outside a dimension. And I really need a picture of that to complete my photo al-"

Then the robot wasp shot it, freeing the cartoonish heart from it. "Kingdom Hearts 3 shall be delayed!"

"-Bummer." Three ran faster as the robot shouted more random threats.

"I'm sorry, Dipper!" Mabel shouted as sweat runs down her face. "After what happened, I overhear you talking with Wendy and …. And I'm not a good sister!"

Dipper turned to her, listening.

"I dreamed about it. When I helped Bill possessed by Blendin."

"Please don't remind me of that!" Blendin pleaded. "I still feel violated!"

Mabel's voiced started to sound sadder and sadder. "Only instead, he trapped both us in a game show and … because of me being too rash I had to squish you like a bug. I mean literally, you had a bug body, but your head didn't shrink."

"A bug body?" Dipper turned back to the robotic wasp. "Weird foreshadowing, but …. Wait, how would my head receive enough oxygen and blood from a-"

"And that's what made it looks so real!" Dipper's eyes widened when he sees the teardrops in her eyes. "No matter how stupid I was; the time travel, the puppets, Mermando, the Shapeshifter, my Mabel Bubble thing, Humpty Dumpty!"

"Humpty Dumpty?" Dipper asked. 'When was-"

"Every single time. You keep forgiving me. And …. And I was taking that for granted." Mabel shut her eyes tight. "And now …. I messed everything up. And the next thing you're going to say is that O.K. and yadda yadda. Rinse and repeat."

"M-Mabel." Dipper spoke up, but from what Mabel said. He couldn't find any words to cheer her up.

"Oh no!" Blendin accidentally led the two into a dead end with no way to climb up. "Sure, why not!"

The three turned around to see the robot wasp slowly approaching.

"I shall bribe scientists to spread false information to fit my own agenda! I shall judge you on your political views while also ignoring you!" the Wasp moved in closer and closer, cutting off any chance of escape. "Yes … I shall ….. I shall promote ….. 4Kids dubbing."

"Noooo!" shouted all three. "Wait, four kids what?" asked Dipper.

Right as the machine charge up another attack, a rock suddenly landed right on the head of the mechanical beast. The wasp started to spark again and then suddenly shut down and dropped to the ground.

"...Uhhhhhhh…" was all the dumbfounded three had to say.

"Excuse me." They heard a voice from about the rocky wall and saw a figure waving. "Can you three please press the red button behind the poor dear's wing?" the person sounded like an elderly woman.

"Poor dear?!" Blendin gasped as the twins just watched. "It tried to kill us!"

The woman shook her head. "I'll be right down ….. It may take a while."

"No, let me do it." Mabel volunteered.

"Oh no you don't." Dipper opposed. "Let me do it."

"No, me! I caused this mess!" Mabel raised her voice. "It could blow up and"

"E-E-Enough!" Blendin threw his arms up. "I have enough of this for today!" Blendin went in alone and walked up to the robot. "Please don't zap. Please don't zap!" With every single bone shaking, Blendin nervously pressed the red button and watched the wasp reboot.

"Loading ….. Loading ….. …...out of order …. Cannot not perform clever code …. Hail 4Kids … Hail 4Kids have been blocked …."

The light in its eyes returned as the wings began to flap. The three stepped back with caution as the robot looked around.

"Howdy Ho!" The wasp greeted again. "I see you kids and janitor are-"

"I think they've already heard all that, Bumble Head." The old woman called out.

"Bumble Head?" Mabel asked. "That name is so cute!"

The wasp looked back at the three and then looked up. "Should I escort them to your place?"

"Yes, if they want." she called down. "I'll see you when we get there."

…III...

 **DEDICATED TO THE LOVING MEMORY OF MY AUNT BEVERLY RIEBOLD 1933-2019**

 **MAY GOD BLESS AND WATCH OVER HER  
**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	291. Like Mable leave fluttering in the wind4

**In memory of my Aunt Beverly ch. 4  
**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

 **THIS STORY WAS WRITTEN SOLELY BY** **GojiraCipher** , **THANK YOU FOR THIS.**

...III...

"And here we are. A cabin!" The wasp named Bumble Head brought the three to a log cabin standing in a clearing with no hill or craters around.

"Where'd you get all the wood for this?" Dipper asked.

"Information not found." the Wasp only replied. "Beep Beep." The robot turned around to greet someone coming. "Welcome home, Madame Organic Being."

"For the last time, I have a name." The elder woman spoke. She (Go ahead and give a description, CC.) "Anywho, who might you three be?"

Dipper as the first to speak up. "My name is Dipper Pines. Paranormal Enthusiast." He turned to the others. "This is my twin sister, Mabel Pines. And our time traveling friend, Blendin Blandin."

"Don't tell Time Baby I'm here!" Blendin yelped.

"Hello to all three of you." She walked up and looked at Mabel. "I love your sweater."

"And you have great fashion sense." Mabel smiled. "So what's your name you lovely lady living in the middle of nowhere?"

The old woman chuckled. "What a delightful girl." She held her neck and cleared her throat. "Well it's not Madame Organic Being. My real name is … Lady on the Rock."

The three just stood there and gave each other a glance. "Lady on the Rock?" Dipper asked.

"Yes…." the woman respond. "A very popular name around these parts."

Dipper looked around for any other sign of life, and there was none. "Believable."

Lady on the Rock unlocked the front door. "Come on, you all must be famished." The three walked in and smelled the pinecone scented living room … all rock themed.

"Logged cabin with no trees around and everything else is what I should have expected." He turned to Bumble Head. "And I'm guessing that asking you way is-"

"Information not found."

"Of course."

Mabel sniffed the air. "Ooooh, it smells so nice …. Are those cookies." Mabel pointed at the small stand as her mouth drooled.

With Lady's blessings, Mabel took a cookie and tasted the mix of white chocolate chip and prunes. "Delicioso!"

As the three chow down, the robot gave them all a good scan. "From my readings …. I am no personal healthcare companion."

Lady of the Rock shook her head. "I'll handle this." She walked up to them to check for any bruises. "Your arms and faces look alright, but are you feeling-"

"My body's a temple!" Blendin randomly spoke.

"...weak?"

"Don't worry too much, we're tough." Mabel said. "So Dipper, are you feeling weak?"

"I'm fine, Mabel." Dipper said as he stands, but then stumbled. "Ow."

Mabel was the first to take action. "Was that your ankle? Or your leg!?"

"Mabel, I'm OW!" Dipper shouted as Mabel poked his ankle.

Feeling something was off, Lady on the Rock stepped in. "I'll handle this, mind getting use lemonade?"

Mabel felt her arm and nodded. "O.K." When she left, Lady asked Dipper if anything is going on.

"She feels guilty, that's all." Dipper answered. "After I nearly gotten hurt the other day, she started feeling like she'd put me through too much with all her crazy shenanigans last summer. I tried to tell her it was O.K. and I did a few stupid things too, but she just doesn't understand."

"And then she wrestled me to grab my Time Tape which got us into this mess." Blendin said as he rests on the couch.

"Perhaps once we're relaxed, you can all make up." Bumble Head suggested.

"Good idea." Lady on the Rock said as Mabel walked in with a pitcher and some cups. "Alright, let's all settle down and chat a bit."

As they sip the lemonade, Dipper and Mabel explained to the woman about Gravity Falls and all the weird stuff that's found there, such as the Gnomes, Manitaurs, and Ducks with their bills on their chests. They even went into a bit about their Grunkles and Bill Cipher.

"Amazing." Lady said as she turned to Bumble Head. "Are you familiar to this Gravity Falls?"

Bumble Head shook his head no. "Negative, Madame Organic Being. All I saw was my test chamber and then the disposal bin."

"Disposal bin?!" Mabel gasped. "Who disowned you!?"

As he think, Bumble Head turned his head around and started blinking. "Howdy Ho, welcome to Madame Organic Being's log cabin."

"Huh?" Mabel turned her head.

"He was like that when I found him floating around here." Lady on the Rock said. "I'm no mechanic, but I believe he was a weapon whose memory was erased so he wouldn't be tracked back to whoever built him." She rubbed Bumble Head on his head. "I tried to figure out who, but all I got was something 'for kids'. Don't know what that means, but I'm sure the people responsible are all gone. Just a feeling."

"Wow, a caregiving death machine." Mabel grinned.

"And he's been so helpful to me." She then started scratching the robot's chin like a dog. " How's a good robot, who's a good robot?"

"Please place political joke here." Bumble Head responded.

"So, Lady. Must be pretty crazy hanging out with a machine that can vaporize you in a second." Blendin brought up, who was then received quiet stares. "It's just … you know … kind of dangerous."

Lady of the Rock rubbed her head. "It's true, we had some problems, but he always shuts down when he get hit in the head." She turned to Bumble Head and smiled. "Guess that was the reason he was abandoned."

"Wait." Mabel spoke up. "Even after that, you're both still buddy buddy?"

The woman nodded. "It was actually a blessing he found his way here." She looked around her living room. "It's lonely living here on this asteroid. Cheap rent though."

"Rent? Who sets up a vacant house here?" asked Dipper, who will receive no answer.  
"We have unique conversations and he's been a dear helping me around the house."

Bumble Head flapped his wings. "She's no threat to human lifeforms!"

"Like I said, unique conversations." Lady on the Rock said.

"Wow….." Mabel held her hands as she looks to the ground. "Even they don't have a care in the world." The girls said in her mind.

Lady on the Rock noticed this and decided it was time. "Mabel, do you feel fine with yourself?"

Dipper eyes' widen as Mabel looked up. "Huh?"

"Are you feeling fine? No worries?"

Feeling that she was speaking with Dipper, Mabel decided to open up. "I was never some killer robot, but …. Lately I just figured out how much of a selfish jerk I was to Dipper." She started rubbing her hair. "All because I wanted some boy of the week or something stupid. Who know's, maybe you could have gotten together with Wendy, Dipper."

"W-What?!" Dipper turned red. "C-Calm down, Mabel. Don't want to push it."

"Wendy?" Lady on the Rock snickered. "Is she cute?"

"Gorgeous, funny, a great person and friend, adventurous, and then that one time a feather landed on her nose and she tried to blow it away but it kept floating back on I mean I could stare at that for-for, I MEAN YES! I mean …. Ugh!" Dipper sigh from embarrassment. "Bottom line. She's 16, I'm thirteen. Had a huge crush on her last year. She let me down gently and I continued my search for the author a.k.a. My other Grunkle. End of story."

Despite her gloom state, even Mabel couldn't help but slightly giggle.

Despite still feeling embarrassed, even Dipper was lightened up by his sister's laugh. "Heh …. As if that was going anywhere, I mean I was still twelve and … well I smell like baby wipes and have noodle arms. Why am I saying these embarrassing things right now?"

"Maybe it's because you don't have free will?" Bumble Head suggested.

"And I remember when having a normal life was … well normal."

"And I remember this too." Blendin said. "Mabel said something about free will when we were time traveling …. For something …" he turned to Mabel. "Actually I don't really remember now. Did we have some time travel adventure? I think we were pirating some multi-genre movies."

Mabel only shrugged.

"Well that's weird … and I feel nervous now."

"Alright, let's get back on track." Lady on the Rock said as she spoke to Dipper. "So, she's older than you?"

"Yeah, she is." Dipper rubbed his neck. "But this was last year, and I think she's eyeing another boy."

"Also I want to hook him up with Pacifica." Mabel laughed, which of course didn't help Dipper much.

"To be that young again." Lady on the Rock softly spoke.

"Congratulations!" Bumble Head spoke. "That was your 100th cliche old person line!"

"Wait until you're old and rusty." She shook her head. "Well I'm not saying it's impossible for you to be together with her someday, but don't think you'll end up being alone forever." She looked over to Mabel. "You know you'll have help."

Mabel softly smiled.

"So ….. Are you two calm enough?"

Mabel and Dipper looked at each other. This was her plan the entire time. Mabel showed signs of nervousness, but noticed Bumble Head holding a fan.

"This is the only clue I can give about 'breathing deeply'."

Mabel laughed and took a deep breath. "Dipper. … I'm sorry." She glanced away for a second. "I guess when I just jump into my crazy schemes … I also jump right into doing the right thing ….. Without my brain."

Dipper laughed. "And Mabel, I had some selfish moments too …. But you're right. You did have a lot …. But I was still happy to help you." Dipper smiled. "Like when you won Waddles and I didn't get with Wendy. That was never going to go anywhere-"

"Not until you're both adults."

"I'll only give it a shot if we're both single at the time." Dipper added. "I would be left with a 'feeling good and bad at the same time' thing, but you won't have a pig that annoys Grunkle Stan."

The warmth in Mabel's heart made the girl giggle. "And I almost dated a puppet kissing freak if it wasn't for you. Awkward Sibling Hug?" Mabel stood up and held her arms up.

"Awkward Sibling Hug." The two embraced one another and patted each other's back. "Pat pat."

"That ….. That was beautiful!" Blendin started to shed tears of joy as the tears landed on Bumble Head's eyes.

"Just wait till the hormones kick in. Then they'll just have a competition on who can mess up the most in a month. Bzzzzzz Non-kid friendly. Must cut out all good stuff from this teenage-targeted pirate show." Then two windshield wipers sprout out to clear Bumble Head's vision.

"Not this again." Lady of the Rock patted the robot on the head, fixing his mind. "I'm glad to see you all came back to your senses."

"Thanks to you, lady." Mabel hugged the woman.

"And you too, Bumble Head." Dipper said as he smiles at the robot.

"Pleasure to assist."

Blendin wiped away the last of his tears. "I learned something today too … it's that we're probably stuck here forever!" shouted the Time Traveler with his broken time machine. "Even if I fixed it, there's no way I can make that crazy dimension-traveling jump the shark thing happen again! We're never leaving!"

"Don't worry, I got this." Lady on the Rock then took out a pair of scissors and somehow cut open a portal in midair. "You can find a shop with something to fix that, and I believe we can bring you back to Gravity Falls."

Dipper and Mabel's eyes widened. "How'd you get those scissors?!"

"Long story." Lady on the Rock answered. "Now let's go."

After a trip through the store Lady mentioned, they eventually found their way back to Gravity Falls, right before the crack of dawn.

"I am not going to stay awake well tonight." Dipper said as he sees the bit of sunlight through the mountains.

"I will!" Mabel smiled as she turned to Lady on the Rock and Bumble Head. "You two are welcome here anytime! Also my Grunkles might try and hit on you and fail miserably at it!"

"I ….. I'll just say I'm taken." She gave a fake smile. "But don't be strangers too. Come back if you're able."

"Goodbye, Dipper and Mabel." Bumble Head's eyes lite up. "Until we meet again …. Also you can have this!" He then threw out what looks like a white marshmallow man with some red armor on him. "If you think I'm vicious, than don't turn him on."

"That sounds interesting." Then some random person in a black coat showed up. "I'm taking this." He picked up the thing and vanished in a portal of darkness.

"O.K. Nevermind. Byyyyye!"

The portal closed and the three waved goodbye.

"They were so nice." Mabel said as she holds her hands. "Well Dipper, it's time for me to be extra generous today. I say I make you my special Cotton Candy Stew."

"And I'll do something stupid and crazy for once." Dipper proudly said. "I'm going to give a random girl twice my age my MMO blog site."

"And I'm going to feel very concerned about that guy in the black coat." Blendin said. "Are you two worred too …. No? O.K. … it's probably something too complicated anyway."

...

And so end our tale. Mabel learned that she cannot just stop her old ways alone, and accept responsibility to support her brother, like he does with her.

Dipper mentally stopped himself about the MMO blog thing, which for an instant he felt he really wanted to do.

And an owl devoured a mouse alive.

 **The End**

...

...

...

Also the Time Police found Blendin and Mabel played the Benny Hill theme on her phone...

...

...

...

…III...

 **(The lady in the cabin was based off my aunt to be clear)**

 **DEDICATED TO THE LOVING MEMORY OF MY AUNT BEVERLY RIEBOLD 1933-2019**

 **MAY GOD BLESS AND WATCH OVER HER  
**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	292. Fall from Gravity rise of CFNM

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

Gamelover41592: glad you liked it

RasenganFin: I had my own idea...but this is better, thank you.

The Howling Behemoth: Yes, she is.

Gamelover41592: Thank Gojiracipher, she's the one who wrote it

...III...

It was a lovely day in gravity Falls...Dipper Pine's the nature Cherub would make sure of that. He wore nothing but a white toga and was hovering in the air by two small angel-like wings.

"Hmmm...dew drop ratio looks good..." He checks that off the list.

He was the youngest cherub EVER to get as high a position as this! ...Although he didn't quite no why his superior Pacifica insisted he take an unscheduled, solo assignment in the middle of an important mystic hub like Gravity Falls.

"Hmm...the leaves seem to be going red and falling a bit early, I'll need to have a talk with season maintenance for that..." He makes a note of that on his check-list.

...in fact...she seemed pretty insistent he'd be transferred to her division, which was a HUGE honor. The 7th Nature brigade was one of the most prestigious posts!...and...she'd been rather weird toward him since he'd shown up...nice...but weird nonetheless...and then there were the...rumors about her...

Dipper shook this thought off. That was a horrible thing to think! Especially to someone who clearly trusted him to take on such a huge responsibility!

He glided his wings over to another part of the forest.

"Hmm, the buttercups seem to be doing better this year. Very good." Said Dipper outloud as he checks that off the list.

Suddenly his detection spells gave a small warning that a human was approaching, but it also showed that it was just Wendy. Dipper smiled, although it was usually forbidden for Cherubs to let humans see them. There were exceptions. The Corduroy family were the designated guardians of this forest, he'd been down here several times and worked rather well with Wendy. She'd been a good friend to him.

"Hey dork, I got something I need to tell you, can I come close?"

Dipper- not looking up from cataloguing the petunias -nods, "Sure, give me a sec." He quickly shut down all his defensive spells to allow Wendy to come closer to him all the while still keeping his back to her.

 _"I wonder what she wants to talk about? Maybe she wants to discuss the new snowflake registry? I mean I agree that switching them to being mass-produced kinda cheapens the experience of winter...on the other hand; the whole 'no two are alike' concept was TOO expensive. Not to mention-_

And then he felt it...his whole body shuddered as his wing was grasped. He flustered and looked to see it was none other then Wendy who grasped it. He gulped, "uh...Wendy? Wh-what are you doing? Y-you know if a human grasps my wing, I can't use magic or fly." He explained embarrassed.

Wendy gave him a mischievous smirk, "Don't forget how your wings act as an erogenous zone." She teases playfully.

Dipper gulped, that- that was sensitive information that he would rather NOT be known to the cute girl who currently had him at her mercy! ...actually, wait, how did she know this anyway? It was a well kept Cherub secret!

"Uh, Wendy? How did-

 **pluck**

Dipper gave it s surprised whimper of pleasure as Wendy plucked one of his feathers, "W-Wendy!? Wh-what are you doing!? My wings are the source of my magic! If you pluck them-

 **pluck**

He let out another whimper of reluctant enjoyment.

Wendy smiled, reveling in seeing her crushes embarrassment and helplessness.

"I know what I'm doing-

 **pluck**

Again she savors his shudders of pleasure, "Then why are you-

 **pluck**

Dipper moaned in delight, "Stop that! Seriously! If I lose all my feathers-

 **pluck**

Again he moaned, "Stop that! Without my feathers, I'll lose my magic! I won't be able to fly! I won't be able to get home! I-

 **pluck**

"I said stop that!" Moaned dipper again in reluctant pleasure. Wendy just smiled, _"Don't worry Dipper. Your situation won't be as dire as you think. But for now-_

 **pluck**

"Why?!" Moaned a now hysterical/aroused Dipper. "You want me to stop?" Asked Wendy teasingly.

"Ye-OP!" Squealed Dipper mid-sentence as yet another feather was plucked.

"You sure?" She asked with a laugh.

"I said ye-OP! COME ON!" Shouted Dipper mid-sentence as yet another feather was plucked.

"Are you REALLY sure? You seem to like it!" She teased.

"But...but I don't!" He lied desperately.

Wendy flicked a certain 'bulge', "Your LITTLE 'friend' says otherwise." She whispered hotly into his ear before giving him another pluck.

Dipper was mortified at this point, he couldn't deny he DID enjoy this...but it was wrong! His shame, his humiliation, being striped of his magic bit by bit.

"Tell, you what? How about a trade? You do ONE thing for me and I promise I won't pluck your feathers one by one anymore." She swore.

Dipper looked up in hope, "Wh-what? What do you want me to give you?"

Wendy smirked, "Your toga for one thing."

Dipper's face went as red as the sun, "Y- you can't be-GAH!

"Oh, I'm serious." Said Wendy as she plucked another feather. Dipper gulped, but knew he had no choice here. He quickly began to undue his toga-

"Up! Do it slowly, make me forget my troubles." She again teased.

Dipper groaned, but did as she wanted...soon he wore nothing but a loincloth...

 _"Please don't notice. Please don't notice. Please don't notice."_ He pleaded to himself...unfortunately for him-

"Is that a CUSTOM loincloth?" Asked Wendy with a laugh.

Dipper groaned but nodded.

"Why would you need to order a CUSTOM loincloth?" She asked with devilish glee.

Dipper whimpered, "Please, I really rather not sa-GAH!"

"I can do this all day." Said Wendy evilly as she plucked another feather.

"OKAY! My genitals have become freakishly tiny lately! The standard loincloths weren't small enough! There's even padding to fool people to think it's bigger. But it's not."

Wendy smirked, "Show me, and I'll stop the slow, methodical destruction of your wings." She promised

Dipper worried his face would be set aflame from all the humiliation he'd accumulated ...bu he obliged...and was rewarded with laughter.

"Wow! my pinkie toe and the two sesame seeds on my lunch are bigger then that!" She teased.

Dipper was trying very hard not to cry now, "Fine, you saw it. Now will you PLEASE-

 **RIP!**

The next words that came from his mouth was the most orgiastic howl imaginable, Dipper was thankful that his cock still had a protection spell on it. Otherwise...well, it'd be mess let's just leave it at that...

In any case, that spell and all his other magic was now gone as Wendy held up both of his now ripped off wings, "Like I said, I wouldn't pluck ONE more feather SLOWLY." She said impishly.

She hands over his clothes, he reaches for them..only for them to be thrown off the nearby cliff at the last second.

Dipper was sobbing now, his wings, his magic, his life, his clothes, his dignity was all gone.

"W-why are you doing this to me Wendy? I thought you were my friend!"

Wendy smiled at him warmly and gave him a comforting hug, "It'll be okay Dipper, your magic and wings will come back-

Dipper's eye's lit up, "what? But I thought-

"Don't worry, I have on good authority that your going to be a rare exception to the rule...provided you get through tonight of course."

Dipper frowns at this, "Wait, how do you know all this anyway? Wait- what was that about tonight?"

Wendy smirked, "Consider it...'hazing'...but in a good way." she says as she hugs him in a way to bend his arms behind his back.

Dipper looked startled, "Wha- what are you- And then he feels his hands shackled together.

Wendy smiles and lifts him up, putting the little guy inside her armpit and happily carrying him like luggage toward her house.

"Wha- Wendy, what are you doing-

"Something, I've been wanting to do to you since I first saw your cute little body in that flimsy toga." She says as she kiss him on the cheek...and starts to unbutton her shirt as she gets closer to her home...

Dipper blushed; he was naked, powerless, all alone, stranded, shackled, and completely at the mercy of this aggressive lumber-JANE.

 _"...It is NOT okay that this excites me."_ Thinks the former Cherub to himself

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	293. A pig or a friend? 34: RasenganFin

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

Gamelover41592: yes, yes it was.

...III...

Preston northwest laughed as one by one his ancestor turned all the people inside his mansion to monster plants that in turn ate the others. He laughed as the plant monster that used to be Mary Corduroy bit off his wife's lower half and spit on her body as she desperately dragged her bleeding torso to her daughter...

Preston laughed, "You fools! I remember ALL that happened in the old timeline! The me of this timeline might've been satisfied to become a husk of his former self and allow his daughter and wife to bully him into submission! BUT NOT I!"

"How did you even pull this off!?" Shouted Wendy cowering behind a pillar with Pacifica.

Preston laughed, "So glad you asked! My ancestor planed to be resurrected as a dryad/lich hybrid and left instructions for his children to do so...but believing him to be insane and eager for their inheritance they ignored his instructions and simply buried his mystically mutated remains. But thanks to my great-great-great-great uncle Herbert's obsession with the written word, I was able to find a preserved copy of Nathanial's instructions. Then it was a simple matter to send for various rare and esoteric ingredients, wait for that lumbering fool of a ghost to pass on, then begin the ritual in the mausoleum under the mansion!" He laughed, "Mark your watches everyone! 7 pm, the time of my ancestors Ascension shall also mark the new age of PRESTON NORTHWEST!"

Wendy smirked, "Consider it marked." She turned to her phone, "Hey Dipper, you get all that?"

A confused Preston watches as the redhead turns the phone screen around to show a smiling and naked Dipper holding a timetape in his hand, "Thank you. I needed to know when and where you were before you started all this nonsense." Before pulling out the TimeTape and vanishing and all Preston can say is "oh no..."

...A few hours earlier

"YES! I AM TRIUMPHANT! SOON THE RITUAL WILL BE COMPLETE AND I PRESTON NORTHWEST will-

Dipper pops out of nowhere and kicks him square in the puckered hole! Preston screams and falls into the cauldron. Dipper quickly goes through all the nearby ingredients in his head.

"Okay, add one hornswoggle head, then stir a monkey bone counter-clockwise, simmer with killer sesame seeds, use dead witch chalk to compensate for the unwanted ingredient of one rich douchebag-

 **poof!**

-And I successfully turn a resurrection and empowerment ritual into a soul destruction/permanent banishment ritual...that coincidentally will deep fry anyone stupid enough to be in the cauldron."

Dipper smirks as the rare ingredients, cauldron, ritual items, and mystically mangled corpse of Nathaniel Northwest all explode and destroy themselves-

 **GAH!**

 **I'm on fire!**

-Except Preston Northwest who was just running around in flames...

...

Preston's reaction was heard throughout the Manor, as this was minutes after Wendy's ancestor is placated by the party The girls, their moms and most of the guests come down to see what happened and find Dipper(with recorded footage of what Preston did in the original timeline had he succeeded) and Preston- having his prostate set ablaze is hopping up and down holding his butt trying to alleviate the pain. -

Which turned into a losing battle as he had his shoulder grabbed by Mary who turns him around and Haymaker punches him, getting a whoop of pride from Wendy and joy from Pacifica.

Preston is out cold and sprawled on the grass, Wendy comes up and kicks his groin, and so does Pacifica. They both say how much fun it is and suggests that it be something the guests get to do. Priscilla agrees and has Mary plant stakes by Preston's legs and tied to them so he can't close his legs when people come for a kicking.

Pricilla glares at Preston, "Right, that's it. Time for a 'divorce' darling. I think this is more then enough to make sure your left with nothing in the settlement.

"You- OW! -Can't- OW! -Be- OW! -Serious! OW! All- Gah! -you- OW! WHY!? -have- NO! OW! -is- OW! STOP! -a- OW! -supposed recording- OW! -from the 'future'!? OW! No- OW! -Judge will take it seriously! OW!" Exclaimed Prestons between kicks to the groin.

"I'm a judge- holds up the recording of 'future' Preston making him eat his wife and brother- and I think I can easily make that happen...provided you let me kick him more then once." Said the next guest- AKA supreme justice Constant Harm - in line to stomp Preston's groin.

"Go crazy." Says Priscilla with a smile.

The two girls look over to their crush...and see him applying something to his mutilated genitals-

"Last known drops of the fountain of youth, Nathaniel must've had it stored here in case of emergencies. If I'm right-

He sprinkled annnd...PRESTO! His genitals were restored!...to freakishly tiny proportions.

Pacifica sighed, "It's okay man, maybe we can use the growth crystals-

"Nope, no more magic near my crotch- knowing my luck, it'll only make it worse. Besides...I'm actually happy my junk is small."

"Dipper, what are you talking about?" Asked Wendy surprised.

"When my junk was large, it was easy to be hit, scratched, burnt and flat out trip me up...it HURTS. I'll take being small, over pain any day of the week. Besides...nothing wrong with being small...right?" He asks looking toward Pacifica with an encouraging smile.

Pacifica blushes, self-conscious of her small chest..but smiles and politely thanks him.

Wedny smiles at this and assures him that they still love him- Big or small.

"Yes, well that's all well and good, but perhaps you'd like to put on something, your making the other partygoers a bit nervous." Said Priscilla delicately.

Dipper nods and goes to just that, then realizes something. Wait, shoot! I need to go back in time and explain my plan to my past self so he knows what to do!"

"Wait, what?" Asked Wendy confused as Dipper uses the time tape to vanish.

"Just smile and nod along Corduroy, if I can do it you can give it a shot at least." Whispered Pacifica.

Suddenly old man Mcgucket shows up asking for Dipper...but everyone is too busy breaking Preston's 'pebbles and stick' to really notice...

Meanwhile, Marius who had witnessed all and is incredibly impressed by Dippers daring and moxie. He asks "My word! Who is that boy?" Mabel seeing an opportunity yells "That's my brother!"

Mabel runs up to Marius and he says "good show mi' lady. Your brother saved the lives of the entire party. What do you Americans do to celebrate such an event?" Mabel says "we high five." Mabel raises her hand Marius mimics and she slaps him HARD. Marius is taken aback from the act of aggression and comradery yet he begins to thoroughly enjoy Mabel's company.

"Mable, I know that this is a bit forward but would you do me the honor of becoming my girl-

 **CRUSH!**

 **SPLAT!**

Mable blinked through the blood splattered on her face...and stared at where her prince charming had once stood...was now just a smear under a chandelier **(1)**.

Mable shook in shock as her 'Cinderella story' literally shattered to pieces before her eyes, "wha- What- HOW-

And then she saw it...waddles had eaten through the chandelier rope, "Terribly sorry Mable! Wrong Rope! I needed the crystal from the west-facing chandelier to construct a device I'd envisioned."

Mable wasn't really listening, she was on the ground sobbing, "The pig goes oink! The pig goes oink! Why didn't I just let you get eaten when I had the chance?!"

So while she sobbed...everyone had a great night...except Preston of course...

 _"Bill- OW! -You'd- OW! -Better- OW! -keep- OW! -Your- OW! -End- OW! -of- OW! -the- OW! -Barg- OWWWWWWW! Oh, for crying out loud, who brings cleets to a ball- OW!"_ Thinks Preston between the pain...unaware that a special tapestry of his was watching him with it's one eye...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **(1): Sorry man, I'm kinda in dark place regarding Mable right now. But I compromised, no happy ending for Grenda either! Besides, If I got predictable you wouldn't like this story as much. Would you?**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	294. Wendy the Cougar 9

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

Gamelover41592: you haven't seen nothing yet!

The Howling Behemoth: thanks

RasenganFin: ...i'll use...MOST of that(evil grin)

...III...

despite the damage, many of the wax figures were still alive and kicking so Dipper and Wendy had to take them down-

 **RIP!**

Unfortunately, Wendy realized too late the issue of doing strenuous activities in an outfit that was too tight for you when you were EIGHT.

"Okay, fine Wendy I'll give you the dang raise already!" Shouted Stan as he and Dipper beheld a naked Wendy...

Blubs did a spit-take as he walked in...and he and Durland pepper-sprayed and arrested each other for seeing an underage minor naked...

...

Fortunately for Wendy, Mable being let out of jail brought enough excitement to forget the fiasco...well except Dipper...

But then came the tent of Telepathy showed up and Wendy eagerly went along with the group and watched that 'psychic' child Gideon perform. they pretend to buy 4 tickets but really just buy two for Soos and Mabel and tell them they're looking around before getting seats, they're actually ditching the show and when Dipper asks what they do to kill time Wendy suggests reading the Journal, she thinks 'I want to read an educational book? Either this boy is my soulmate or some psychic force nearby is messing with my head!'

And then Gideon started showing up...

At first, Wendy was worried that she'd be attracted to Gideon as well...but surprisingly, the intense lust she once felt for younger boys...had largely died out...only Dipper ignited the fire in her loins now...

Speaking of loins, apparently Gideon's were similarly set alight by Mable and started to court her...much to her chargin...

At first Dipper wanted to help her, but Wendy stepped in. She had experience with such things. guys could be jerks... 'Except Dipper damn that boy is sweet.'

Wendy goes to tell Gideon it's over, do not go near Mabel unless instructed, do not call her, write letters yadda yadda yadda... But the Dwarf has other plans. Gideon tries his theatrical approach and Wendy flicks his forehead flustering him from using the Amulet on her.

When Gideon tries again she lifts him by the shirt, VERY angry, and tells him to back off Mabel or else. She then grabs a waiter walking by and without looking at him tells him to get her a fresh Chicken Parm to go and puts it on Gideons Tab.

The Amulet accidentally slid from the bolo tie into her sleeve while holding Gideon up and she doesn't notice it till she gets back to the Shack with her Dinner to split with Dipper. Not knowing what it is, She puts it in her pocket before eating and forgets it. The Spaghetti is very long and they almost do the pasta kiss but Dipper, insecure as ever, pulls back at the last second breaking the pasta and apologizing saying "That was close, that would have been inappropriate." Wendy is of course sad inside her head, 'SO CLOSE!'

...

Later that day, Dipper gets a frantic call from Wendy pleading for help...

Meanwhile, Wendy gets a frantic call from Dipper pleading for help...

As they run toward their designated locations...Gideon pets his mystic parrot that just flawlessly mimicked his foes voices...and cackles...

"Come to my parlor said the spider to the fly..."

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	295. Happy Death Day 2U

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

...III...

Mable was running and crying, this day was the worse! First her dreams of a 'happy high school' were shattered, then her friends can't show up to her party, and worse of all her brother wanted to leave her!

How could he-

 **Happy Birthday to you**

Mable stopped running toward the woods surprised and turned around-

 **Happy Birthday to you**

Standing in front of her is a guy wearing a black hoodie and adorable baby mask and holding a green cupcake with a lit candle in it.

 **Happy Birthday to you**

He continued to sing while handing the cupcake to her.

 **Happy Birthday, Dear Mable**

Mable smiles, after the rotten day she'd been having this was just what she needed! she takes it, "Thank, mysterious stranger!" She exclaims as she leans over to blow out the candle-

 **squick**

 **Happy Birthday to you...**

Sang the killer over Mable as blood leaked from her slashed throat. He blew out the candle himself just as Mable took her last breath...

 **...**

 **beep**

 **beep**

 **beep**

Mable screamed as she woke up, she frantically patted her neck...it was...fine?

"Wha- But didn't I just..." She looked around...she was in a closet in the Mystery Shack?

"Why am I..." The she saw her supplies and 'plan' written in crayon: Wake up early and in a closet so Dipper dosen't hear the alarm. then transform her face into her old friend Mr. Upside-Downington to surprise Dipper!

"Wha...but wasn't it..." She looks at her smartphone...sure enough it's the morning!

"Wait...so...it was just a dream?" And in typical Mable fashion she laughs it off. "What am I saying? Of course it was a dream! Whoa! I REALLY need to stop eating smiley-Dip before I go to bed!"

Quickly she styles her face with the needed googley eyes and opens the door to head to her room...

Her face goes pale...outside her door is a very familiar green cupcake covered with a lit candle and with the following inscription in black frosting...

 **Happy Birthday to you...**

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	296. A pig or a friend? 35: RasenganFin

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

Gamelover41592: 1. thank you. 2. Yes, but she dies a LOT so it balances out.

RasenganFin: 1. I like it 2. Sorry man, no can do. Mable is going DOWN.

...III...

Dipper was conflicted...he and Mable had spent the night at the mansion...the next morning there informed by government agents that they've arrested Grunkle Stan. Assuming it's another one of his tax evasion scams gone wrong they just shrug it off and decide to just keep their heads down and let things take their course...

Seeing that the twins were in good hands- and also not wanting to get on the badside of one of the wealthiest families in the world -they leave the twins at the mansion...

later...there are some earthquakes, from what they hear the agents found the source of the anomaly at the Shack and blew it to kingdom come. This horrified the twins as it had become a second home to them...

It's then that a broken-hearted Grunkle Stan shows up- having just escaped from custody. The twins assume he's sad about the shack and comfort him. During his sobs, Gruncle Stan reveals how agent Trigger and Powers were the ones that blew the whistle on him.

From the description given, Pacifica realizes that they were the poorly dressed homosexual couple at the mansion last night.

This gives Mable an idea...

"Hey-Bro-Bro-can-I-Borrow-that-thank-you!" Mable swipes the time-tape before Dipper can stop her and goes back to last night. First she lures the two agents near the cellar, then pushes them both inside, knocking them out...

Then Mable runs up and pushes Marius out of the way of the chandalier-

 **CRACK!**

And then time breaks...

Mable looks around in horror as giant cracks appear everywhere-

Scared, Mable grabs Marius and heads back to the present.

...where things are much worse-

"MABLE WHAT DID YOU DO!?" Screamed Dipper. Indeed, all of gravity Falls- No, the world was shaking from the earthquke!

The shack, no longer destroyed by the agents was now being ripped apart from inside by a Mega-portal.

"SOMETHINGS GONE WRONG! THE PORTAL IS TOO POWERFUL!" Shouted Stan.

And then waddles showed up, "Terribly sorry everyone...but destiny calls." He bows before the portal. "All hail, Bill Cipher."

 **HERE'S BILLY!**

Shouts Bill Cipher as he comes through the portal.

Pacifica glares at Mable, "Y'know if you'd just let me eat the dang pig, all of this could've been avoided...just saying."

Mable groaned, "Well...at least I still have you Marius- she turns to see that the HAND she's holding...was the only thing that made it to the present...she promptly vomits...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	297. Wendy the Cougar 10

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

Gamelover41592: well first of all, thanks to the portal reaching it's climax reality was already at the breaking point, second waddles built a device to exasperate it further and deliberately killed the prince so Mable would come back to save him. This adds up to a time paradox being the final straw that broke the camels back and creating a rift to allow Bill through.

The Howling Behemoth: Thank you, how are you doing by the way?

RasenganFin: Yes, yes, WITHOUT A DOUBT!

Guest: (shrug) Eh, I gave it my best shot. Thanks for the review.

...III...

Gideon smirked as he waited patiently in the abandoned warehouse. His trap was perfect. First he'd use his traps to ensnare Dipper, then when Wendy showed up he'd threaten to toss Dipper off a cliff if she didn't do whatever he wanted. That would show that pest to keep his sweet Mable from him!

He briefly fawned his face, that large fire bee entrapment he had dangling above sure made things hot! But it was just one of the many traps that he had waiting to catch that little fool, why he-

 **CRASH!**

Gideon screamed as a large truck smashed through the front door and rammed into him, crashed through the other side and rolled right off the cliff-

 **BOOM!**

As the wreckage flamed below, Dipper hastily ran into the warehouse- "WENDY!? WENDY ARE YOU OKAY!? I STOLE SOME THERMAL-IMAGING GOGGLES FROM MY GRUNKLE STAN'S TRUNK- pauses briefly to shudder at the memory of all the old man 'junk' -AND SAW SOMETHING OF YOUR SIZE HANGING FROM THE CEILING! SO I SENT THE TRUCK TO AVOID YOU AND-

Dipper went pale...where the Wendy-like heat blob had been moments ago...there was now nothing...it had all been swept away by the truck.

Dipper got down on his hands and knees...and sob... "STUPID! STUPID! I'M SUCH AN IDIOT! I'M SORRY WENDY! I'M SORRY!"

"DIPPER! IT'S OKAY! I'M FINE!" Shouted a familiar voice behind him before he got lifted up and hugged by his favorite red-head.

Dipper whimperd, "Wendy?" He asked before sobbing more and hugging her.

Turns out, Wendy didn't actually believe the caller had been Dipper, "Really I heard your voice but I didn't feel the intense happy feeling I get when I hear you. That was a major Red Flag." She comforted while Dipper blushed.

She explained that she DID run back to the shack to make sure he was okay...and then learned that he'd run off himself.

Dipper feels bad he was tricked, but Wendy assures him that it's fine, and she's flattered he rushed to her rescue so quickly. Then she casually mentions that not a single guy in town would ever do that for her. Dipper feels hope from that...

...Meanwhile...

Gideon screams from underneath the flamming wreckage as the fire bees sting him mercilessly...and then go on to set the town on fire...

"WHY DOSE THIS KEEP HAPPENING!?"

WHY DO ONLY THE CHILDREN AND ELDERLY BURN!?

...

...needless to say Wendy felt it best to keep Dipper away from town, media outlets, as well as threaten to punch anyone who even TALKED about the incident in front of an emotionally fragile Dipper the next couple of days...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	298. Wendy is NOT the jealous

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

...III...

It was a rather ho-hum day for Wendy working the register...until her oldest friend Tambry showed up. "Hey Tambry, what's up?" Asked Wendy. Tambry smiled, "Hey Wendy...I was wondering...would it be alright if I dated your latest EX?"

Wendy's eye's widen confuse, _"My latest...oh, she must mean Robbie- UGH! That's a night I'd like to forget...why would she...I mean I guess they both like eyeliner and have a bit of a goth motif going for them...eh, whatever I can't really be bothered to care about that jerk one way or the other, she's welcome to him!"_

Although she'd have been angry if she'd just went ahead and dated him without her consent- She might not like Robbie, but it was the principle of the thing! Friends shouldn't date friends EX's without consent! -but since she'd asked, she'd let it happen, why not?

"Sure go ahead, good luck with that trainwreck."

Tambry shrugged, "Eh, granted he needs some work. But I personally think you let a real diamond in the rough get away." Said Tambry as she walked off.

Wendy frowned at that, "Diamond in the rough? Robbie?..." She shrugged it off, "Eh, whatever. To each her own, not my problem anymore..." And like that she goes back to doing nothing and doesn't give it a second thought...

...

Wendy casually whistles as she walks out of the shack at the end of the day...and SAW TAMBRY KISSING DIPPER!?

"What?" Said a gobsmacked Wendy, her brain fizzling out.

"Okay Dipper, see you tomorrow for our date!" Exclaimed Tambry.

"What?" Said Wendy, her brain refusing to process this...

The flustered pre-teen just babbled an affirmative, his brain clearly not working right at the moment either...

And neither was Wendy's...

"...What?"

...III…

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my p,a,t,r,e,o,n acoount.  
**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	299. Little colt in BIG everfree

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

...III...

Nightmare Moon laughed, those foolish mares might've beaten her trials! Now they were walking right into her trap! Soon they and the elements of harmony would be vanquished AND HER NIGHT WOULD RULE FOREVER!

And then she felt it...the familiar feeling of someone asleep...and nearby?

Nightmare Moon frowned at that, they were in the middle of the Everfree forest...who could possibly be asleep?

Curious and seeing she still had time before those mares showed up, she investigated.

To her surprise she found a little blue colt sound asleep in the old library. several books scattered around him, clearly he'd been reading them.

Nightmare Moon scratched her head with a hoof confused, "How on earth did this little colt get out here all by himself? Clearly his family's designated mare has been negligent!" She snorted that last bit with disgust.

She then shrugs, "Well, whatever. I'll take him home after I'm done here. And as long as she forsakes Celestia and swears allegiance to me I'll let her off with just a warning."

She thinks to herself, "Hmmm...I still have some time, I should probably go inside his dream and see if I can find some clue where his home actually is."

And with that she attempts to open a door into his dream realm and go through it-

 **ZAP!**

Nightmare Moon screamed! all of the darkness within Luna was forcibly sucked out of her and into one of the books surrounding the colt.

Dipper Pines 'woke' up with a smile, "Worked like a charm." He opens up the fake book he had beside him to reveal a dream catcher of his own design which now contained the essence of Nightmare Moon.

"Sweet! This'll be useful! Better scram before Celestia or anyone else shows up...but first..."

A woozy Luna slowly woke up and saw the little colt walk up to her, "Well, hello there little one! Thank you for restoring me! Did your family's designated Mare help you put this together? If so, I want to say thank-

A now somewhat annoyed Dipper slapped a collar on her neck, Luna's eye's widen in disbelief.

"Wha- What is this?" Asked the Alicorn Princess confused. "Oh, just some assurance that you won't ever become Nightmare Moon again...if you do, it'll blow up killing you. Oh, and FYI. I have no designated Mare, this was ALL me."

"WHAT!?" Screamed Luna in panic, But Dipper had already jumped out a nearby window. Luna, still weak from her 'exorcism' took awhile to get to the window, she quickly saw it was facing toward Ponyville.

"He must've headed back into town!" Exclaimed Luna as she stumbled her way out of the castle and desperately tried to navigate the forest in her weakened state...

...it never occurred to her that the little colt would head AWAY from civilization and FURTHER into the Everfree Forest.

Dipper watched all this from his hidey-hole, and smirked as he headed back to his 'home'.

...

Meanwhile the mane 6...were at a loss to what to do...after much trial and error(or just gathering in a circle and getting to know each other better to releave their boredom) Twilight was eventually able to figure out how to activate the elements and bring about the sixth element- HER element...but now...now they had no idea what to do next.

...they'd sorta just assumed that when they got the elements Nightmare Moon would simply appear and attack them...But they'd been her for hours...and nothing...kind of a letdown really...

Princess Celestia would be equally confused when she finally showed up. _"Why hasn't Luna attacked? She obviously set up tricks and traps to ensnare them in the forest, so she had to be nearby...this doesn't make any sense!"_

It is then she gets a message about a confused alicorn stumbling out of the forest, claiming to be her sister...and that she was wearing a BOMB!?

Frantically Celestia teleported herself and the Mane 6 to her location.

After a still panicky Luna explains what happened, Celestia tries to get the collar off...only to find it impossible to remove! Even for her!

Applejack scowls, "What kind of mare would force a little colt to do something so dangerous?!" She snapped angrily.

Twilight frowned, "Wait, I thought he said that he did it himself-

"Oh, come now dear. Little foals are always exaggerating things like that, best pay it no mind." Said Rarity dismissively.

Watching from afar...Dipper was annoyed by the dismissal...except for the purple one...she was the only one who didn't seem completely sold on a Mare being behind him...

"Well...one mare thinking higher of me is a step up I guess." Admitted Dipper with a sigh as he walks back into Everfree...

...

It had been a week or so since Twilight had moved to Ponyville to be around her new friends, still no word on the whereabouts of the little colt that slapped that seemingly unmovable collar on Princess Luna's neck.

...although Twilight couldn't help but feel this might be because the police were more focused on finding the colt's 'designated mare' rather than the actual colt...now although Twilight was reluctant to just take a little colt on his word alone...she also couldn't help but feel that just outright dismissing him wasn't the way to go either...

But Princess Celestia told her to just focus on her friendship lessons, so she supposed that would just have to be a conundrum for another day...

But TODAY the only conundrum she wanted to solve was the mystery of how many apples she could help Applejack buck! YAAY!

 **COUGH!**

Twilight looked over concerned as Spike came down with a nasty cough, sparks flying everywhere. "Spike?! You okay? What's wrong?"

Spike gagged, "COUGH! -Celestia- WHEEZE! -Message- RETCH! -Coming in rough!" And Spike retched out a...chair and alchemist tools?

Twilight looked at this confused, "What the- Why would Celestia send me this?" She said outloud.

However Spike being in rough shape took priority. She rushed him to the hospital and in her concern, completely forgot about what happened and went about her day...

...Meanwhile...

Dipper looked confused, one moment he was tinkering with some ancient dragon bones...the next it temporarily gets engulfed in flames, his chair and several tools got sucked up...and now he had two gala tickets?

Dipper shrugged and eagerly picked up the tickets, "Alright, I know some people who could get me a couple thousand bits for each of these bad boys..."

...

Celestia frowned, "I don't understand...Twilight should have sent a letter complaining about how few tickets I sent..." After the day ends and still no word, Celestia dosen't have anymore time to spare on this, she had a country to run and a sister to DE-bomb after all!

Writing off the friendship lesson as a loss she just sends another 5 tickets and goes about her day...

Twilgiht would never receive them...

But a blue colt in the Everfree would...as would anything else that goes through Spike...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	300. Time Warp ponies

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

 **AN: Gravity Falls elements come next chapter, be patient**

...III...

Twilight Sparkle, Equestrian Princess of Friendship, leader of the Mane Six, Element of Magic...was dying...

And she wasn't the only one...

From a pool of both her and Spikes blood, Twilight could only watch helplessly as one by one her friends were slaughtered...

Applejack's body stumbled forward for a few seconds...not truly grasping her head was no longer attached...before flopping over...

The ashes of Rainbow Dash and her fellow Wonderbolts were still falling to the ground...

Pinkie was still a smear on the ground from when her cupcake cannon simply annoyed the invaders...

Rarity was just a flaming husk...

And poor, sweet Fluttershy...shoot in the back of the head while she'd been trying to resuscitate the broken corpse of Discord...

Yes, even Discord the embodiment of chaos could not fight this new threat...

And it wasn't just him...

All around her...Celestia, Luna, Candance, her brother, The Crystal Ponies, The Pillars, the changelings, the dragons, the Griffons, the yaks, the hippogriffs, even Tempest, Starlight, Sunset Shimmer and the rest of her Mane 7...were all getting ripped through like a hot knife through butter...

The elements of harmony had been nullified and shattered, the TREE of harmony had been overpowered and burnt, her palace was shattered, the school of friendship- along with all her students -had been massacred, and Ponyville was just a crater in the ground...

She could only barely remember how this all started...this morning there had been a strange dimensional anomaly on the coast...she and her friends had gone to investigate it...and things just downward spiraled from there...

...( **insert Command and Conquer 3 intro music** )...

No, there would be no stopping this...all her hopes and dreams, everything she'd accomplished in the past nine years...would be no more...thinks Twilight as her vision goes dark from the blood loss, she closes her eyes...and waits for the end...waits to see her friends again...

 **"̶̡̧̨͍̭̳͈͍̮͔͔͍͔̞̘̽̉̐̀̂́̔̕Ṉ̴̡̬̠̰͙͇͉̭̥̍̿̌̓́́̄̃̽ơ̸̧̍͗̈́́̽̅͊́t̵̨͈̹̲̲̯̠̻͇͖̼̔̍̂͌͝ ̴̯̅̿̆̑͌͋̉͊͆͠y̶̘͍͚͕̬̜̫̗͔̭͕̮̺̐́̏͒̐̀͆͑̀͊̍̚͜͠ͅę̴̨̧̹̱̳̠̬̦͖͑̀̈́̎̾̐̃̋̚̚͝͝͠ţ̸̧̳͍͚͈̯̬͉̟͓̟̗͚̭͌̅̑̑̋͌̏̊̓,̸͎̲̜̱̤͉͖͕͖̻̙̂̋̑́̓̚͜͝ͅͅͅ ̸̤̻̓̀̔̓̃͗̓̇̕̚͝͠m̷̨̰̥̼͙͍͙͙̪̩̗͍͚͇̃͗͊̈́͝ͅy̴̢̟͔͛ ̷̝̤̥̟̮̦̦̭̪̣͗̆ḏ̸̡̒̅͌͛̏̇̈́́͗̕ͅe̶̢̛͎͓̬̺̼̜̰͎͊͑̏͂̃͒͆̃͗͘̚a̴̳̻͈̞͉̤̠͚̙̠̘̣̬̾̉͑͂r̴̛͖̪̪̯͑̈́̿̊͂͌͛͝.̷̡̨̦̯̞̥͔̭̥̯̘̼̗̫͇͛͌̉̾.̵̜̪̋̐̽̈́͊̆.̵̼̬̀̀́͑͗"̶͓̈́͐̾̄̐́͛**

And just like that, Twilight was fine. And so were her friends? Well, the Mane six anyway... They were all alive and well...in the middle of a battlefield frozen in time. Bullet's, explosions and severed limbs literally suspended in mid-air.

"What the- Wasn't I just in the air...and dead?" Asked a slightly freaked out Rainbow Dash.

"What the hay is going on?!" Demanded Applejack as he watches a pony an the brain matter that was just blasted out of his head was frozen in mid-air.

 **"̷̛͔̫̥̯̜͔̖͔̹̓͗̃̊̀̓̃̒̂̃̓̈́̅̚A̴̺̱̣͓̣͊̅͜ľ̷̠̳͍̝͕̫̬͋͝ĺ̶̛̥͚̥̾̇̐̈́̓̃̄̏̕o̵̙̙̯̓̓̋͑̍̈́̅̎̒̓͂͊͌͘͝ẃ̵̧͚͎̜͚͚̫̇̊̂̌̂͘͜͝ ̵̱̣̤̔̑͂̈́́̈͐̎͑̕͠͝m̷̨̮̯̫̹̺̥̟̙̞͚̗͉̓͜ė̶̛̗̆̔̈̎̓̔̓̐̀͆̊̾̈ ̸̡̛̲̈́͗́̀̄͑̌͋̓̀͛̕t̵͕̺͙̳̞̟̱͙̏̿͗̈́͆̃̅̈̌͘ö̵̢̢̲̞͕͎͖̗̙͕̼̽͆̈̋̐̈́͝͠ͅ ̷̤̮͙͙̼͖̮͉̯̜͋͂̈́̄̌̏̂́̏̍͋ş̷̢̧̳̮̠̠͉͙̈̀̏̿̃̚h̷̨̦͚͎͕̞̯̞͖̪͂̐̓͗̈́̔̕͜͠͝ë̶̡̲̗̠͚̰̰̦̓̕ḑ̴̧̦̫̘͛̐͛̓̾͊̅ ̵̢͍͕̭̠͙̈͂̂̾͝s̶̹̘̠̎ȯ̶͈͑̅m̵̢̧͔̠͖̦̰̻̳̗̯̭̬̣̰̿͊̃̎͝ȩ̶̧̢̤̝̤͂̅̈́̔̒ ̷̛͔̑̔̾͝l̷̡̛͖̳̟̓͑͋̌̃̈́́̈́̃i̵̛͉͙͕̖͓͓͔͖̯̤͉͙̮̪͑̌̄̋̿̀̃̇̓̌͊͂̀ͅģ̵͉̠̻̥̬̈́h̷̛̦̠̻͖̤̯̹͓̭̤̗̖͔̘͕̒͛͑́̔̔́̇̽͗͊̉̌̌t̵̨̨̪̗̹̘͖̹̞̝̦̊̾̒̄̈́̈́̆́̕͝ ̶̨̞̩̩͕͙̰̻̮͖̮̅̄ͅo̴̥̭̤̮͓̙̿̈̾̃͜ņ̵̼̹̠̺̏̇̾͑̋̉ ̵͇̠̳̣͚̗̐̈́̑t̵̬̖͇̫͒̌͌̉̆̒̊͑̈́͠ḩ̸͔͂̊̔͂͘̚e̸̺͍͔̹̮͈̩̱̜͊̃̈́͑̔́̋͛͘͠-̵͎̦̥͔͇̭̝̱̙̲̟̿̍͜ͅͅ ̴̡̬͖̫̬̗̜͕͔̫̀̽̀̏̈͜͜B̶̢̫̺͚̯̫͓̖̯͈̘͓̫̃͐̒̉͆̋̂̏̿̃̒̽͜͜ĺ̵̯̖͔̘͈̜͚͙̜̯͖͖̲̾̓͒͌̀́̅̀̍̊̔̈͋͘͜a̷̡̧̡̲̫̲̤̥̠̗͔̫͕͓͌̆s̶̡̡̫͎̣͍̗̜̲̹̆̆̽̾̓͆̓̔̊̚ṯ̴̪̫̖̊̑̊̈́̀͗̓͊͝,̵̡͚͖̝̘̠̙͈͇͕͂̎͗͌̐ͅ ̵̧̡̢̟̰͍̟̫̥̤͉̺̗̒̊̏́̃̐h̵͉̪͎̝͇̥̥̿͐̀̋̈͂̿́͊̋̅͘̚͘͜ö̵̺́͂̈́l̶̘̳̝̫̼̳̿͒̌̉̾́̂̈́̑̚d̸̢͓̹̦̳̹̄̿ ̵̧̺̤͎͚̺͚̭̺̪̈́̓̈́́̆͌́͆̿͋̀͌͑ǫ̸̮͍̓̀̆͆͘n̸̨̡̼͖͓͉͙̗͓͎̘̗̘̥̆̊͋̈́̌͐̀͌̊̾͘̕̚ͅ.̶͚̹̟̆̀ ̶̡̖̲͎̱̗̥̳͓̺̯̚M̵̖͙̓͒̊̔̐͑̌̃y̵̨̛̪͚̱͔̼͈̔͋̊̋̇̈́̽̚̚͝͠ ̸̗̝̲͖̦̤͓̲̹͌̾̏̒͂̑͂ͅg̸͉̳̘̮̣̼͓͙̮̯̰͙̺̊͌̆͌̋̅̀͘ͅͅl̷̨̟͇̫̩̘͗͛͝ȋ̴̡̡̛͕͙͇͖̜͕̦̥̞̼̆̀͋̄̃̍͂͒̋̓̆͗ť̴̪̥̩̻͕̦̥͎̦̮̱̀̋ͅc̷͈̟̄͂̂̀͌̅͋̈͐̃͋͒̌̕͠h̵̖͇̪̝̮̰̭̰̭̪̳̹̹͛̌̑̏̅ͅ-̶̢̧̢̧̰͈̟͈̺̳̙̙́̈̆͛͗̿̓̚s̴̢̘̳̥̫̣͈̮̟̼͗̈͐p̷̦̟̖̠̺͓̣͍̩̀͛͝͝e̷̞̥͈͍̺͕̬̥̯̥̖͓̣̝̾̐̈͗̐̚a̶̛͊̈́̇̃͜k̶̡̭͛͊͑͑̑ ̶̯͚̪̠̑̓į̸̢͔̭̦̭̰͔̳̮̬̘̬͂̅̇͋͊͌̇̀̐̽͊̾̈̋͒ś̷̼̽͋̏́̌́̅̿̑̐̍͂̽ ̸̡͇̹͎͈̘̘̘̮̺͕͇̗̭͚̇̈́̈͒̂̅͂͛̋̋s̴̨̨̨̛̹͈̳̤̟͓̯̟̤͓̘̃̈̀̈́̇̔̅͆͂̍̚͝t̴̡̧̤̱̠̠̰̹̦̬̥̯͇̩̆̀̃̈́̈́́i̶̡̺̙͈͇̗̦̼͎͉̤̳̦̥̊́̐̾͂́͐̍̂͜ĺ̵̛̦̜̮͓̇̑̑̋̀̏͊̐͆͌͠l̵̝̲̈ ̶̧̝̬͙͚̺̩̑̈͋͒̾̃̌́̂̉̍͑̇̚ő̸̲͖̥͓̭͉̖͎̘̦̖̱̱̦̽̉̊̊͐͋͋́͛͛̈́̕͜͠n̵̰̖͉͍͔͍̘͉͍̰̙̽͆͌̿͛̓̎̈́.̴̡̛̘͕̪̙̹̪̹̝̳͈́̓̎"̷̨̛̜̞̫͚̰͉̩̣̞̹͙̟͆̊̔̏̈̿̉͛̈̑̐**

The ponies paled at the sight of the abomination in front of him. He was tall, wore a business suite, his arms and fingers were freakishly long and slender, and he had no face...

 **"Right, testing? Testing? 1,2,3? Can you understand me now?"**

The mane 6 just look at the creature stunned.

The creature however simply moved on and looked around, it then (somehow) gave an impressed whistle over the carnage. **"My word, this timeline is a right mess isn't it? The Templars are steamrolling right over you lot!"**

"Templars?" Asked Twilight stunned. **"The humans that killed all of you, come on Twilight, keep up!"**

 **"Anyway; there your basic new world order, peace through oppression of free will type villains."**

"Man, I hate those!" Exclaims Pinkie Pie annoyed.

 **"Yes, they are a bit overdone, aren't they? Anyway, usually the worlds that have this particular branch don't ordinarily gain enough power to do stuff like this. The assassin brotherhood is usually enough to keep them in check."**

"Well, why in tarnation didn't they do that here!?" Snapped Applejack.

 **"Considering I erased them from the timeline I imagine they had bigger worries."**

There was a stunned silence...

"OH! I get it, you did that on accident and now you want to make amends!" Exclaims Twilight always happy to give someone a second chance.

Slenderman wretched, **"Sweet blood, no! I did it out of curiosity to see what would happen. I'm only here because the fun ended far too soon for my taste."**

"I...FUN!? OUR HOMES, FAMILY AND FRIENDS WERE COMPLETELY MASSACRED!" Screamed Rainbow Dash.

 **"I know!? Isn't it a delight!? I even brought popcorn- But again, I didn't even eat half of it before you all died! I mean true it was a very spectacular death, but come on! Would it have killed you to put up a better fight-** he looks at the corpse of Derpy **-Oh, oopsie! Poor choice of words..."** He said with a laugh.

The ponies glare, "Well FORGIVE us for not focusing on YOUR needs instead of protecting our loved one's!" Screamed Applejack with sarcastic anger, her eye's hot with tears...she'd just seen the bloody and fiery remains of the CMC's clubhouse...

Slenderman shrugged, **"Eh, no one's perfect I guess. Very well, I forgive you."** He said warmly.

The Mane 6 just gaped at this intruder in disbelief.

 **"Well, I think this intro has gone on long enough, how about we get to the meat of the matter."** He pulls out a hard-covered blue book covered in mystic iconography and simply titled 'The Book'.

 **"What would you do...what would ANY of you do? To undo this?"** Gestures over all the destruction and bloodshed, **"To get a SECOND chance? A do-over, if you will?"**

The ponies frowned at the creature before them. They were clearly dealing with an unrepentant monster who cared nothing for their lives, erased entire groups of people on a whim and probably only wanted to 'help' them in the most indirect and frustrating way possible...

...On the other hand...what choice did they have?

...if there was even a tiny chance to stop this tragedy...well, it really wasn't even a choice was it?

As one, her friends nodded their consent, Twilight nodded back before turning back to Slenderman. "We'll do whatever it takes." She said flatly.

Slenderman chuckles as he holds out the book, **"Be careful what you wish for."** Suddenly, the book opens. Green smoke envelops everypony...and like that...there OFF!

...Music starts...

 **GO!**  
 **There they go**  
 **Six Ponies surfing on a time continuum**  
 **There they go**  
 **Green mist fills the air, the book can take em' anywhere!**

 **GO!**  
 **There they go**  
 **Six Ponies warping in 20-105**  
 **There they go**  
 **You can catch a ride with the time warp ponies**  
 **GO!**

 **Traveling through history**

 **With the time warp ponies**  
 **GO!**

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account.**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	301. The end of the world as we know it

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

...III...

Deep inside the the earth...a security guard walks past his nations nuclear arsenal-

 **POOF!**

The guard has a heart attack as the edlritch abomination know as Slenderman pops out of nowhere, fiddling with his phone, watching the cesspit that was internet comments...

"̸̞̩͎͓̙̹̑̓́͛̇À̵͓͓̻͚̬̱̪̬̖͓̬̻͆̊̃̐̀̿̾ͅļ̸̫͔̟̖̘̪̖̝͉͔̫̲͚̙̄̍l̸̛̗̱̠̅͐̃͋̿̋̋̎̓̐ ̴̧̛̪̩̩̙͓̱̣͇͖̻͇̥̀̈́̈́͛̐̃̊̉̇͘͠͠d̵̨̢̬̲͙̤̬̹͉̤̫̬́͊̿̈́̇̉͆̃̀́̍̿̌a̸̢͎̺̻̝̩̭̼̪̹̥̜̓̓͂̊́y̵̼͖̳̘͊̔̆̒,̸̮̥͙̠͖̾̊̈́ ̴̢̨͉̞̻̘̺̘̥̞̯̜͓̏̒́̒̒͜e̵̖̹̘͙̠̤͈͎͓̟͖̹̙̯̓̑̍̈̔̎̀̈́̕ͅv̷̢͈̣̯̤̲͚̳̜̬͊͐͊̅̃̽̈́̀̔̾͐͆̅͆ē̴̢̧̻̦̞̗̘̼̙͗̄̉̓͜͠ͅͅr̶̨̡̙̦̰͙̯͂̐̊͌͘͘ỵ̵̢̢̢̞̭̯̗̖͇̪̭̥͓͒̏̀͐͐̇̚̕͜ ̷̧̧̡͔̹̺͖̭̩̞̀̓̒̑̑́͑͑̀̄̌̌͌̀̚͜d̴̳̻̞͕̟͈̮̠̙̈́́͜͜ͅa̷̧̧̲̘̲̳̙̘͇̰̫͓̳̽̏̽̆̆ȳ̷̡̢̟͇̼͙̝̖͍̬̠̈́̄̽̈́̃͋͗͒͜ ̸̢̹͊͝s̸͓̬͈͕͋ͅi̶̢̨̧̝̪̰̪̫̥̤̙̜̥͋͂̉̄͆̈́̋̉̔̽̑̏͝ṉ̸͍͇̰̭̈́͐̈̀͂̄̉̔̓̓́ͅc̶̢͇͍͇͚͓̔̅ẻ̸̡̢̢̢͉̥̫͈̲̺̬̕̕͜͝ ̸̨̨̼̲̪͓̝̖̻̝̖̩̆̈̐̍́̌̈́̇̿̈͜t̴̙̙̉͋͐͒͂̕͝ͅẖ̵̋ȅ̶̢̞͎̲̗̬̙̝̬̅̑̄͗͒́͋̅͆ ̴̤͛́͂̃͋͝a̸̢̡̰̯̞̜͓͎̖͂̑̿͐̈̃̐̅ͅͅń̸̛͇̝̥̾̑̍̇̈́͛̀͆͋͒̕͘͝n̷̛̠̞͕̺͖̥̪͉̹̤̳̦̬̋̈́̄̓̆̽͒̋̌͊͘̕͠͠ô̷̢͖̩͈̟̩̫̟̫͙̞̅͊̓̄̋̄̃̽̕ͅų̶̮͖̙̠̗̮̜̮̲̟̝̯̒̍̍́̾̍̒̊͊̒̂͘̕n̴̢̨̛̰̣͎̰̮̲͛̓̐̀̋ͅc̷̣̟̤̙̲͔͍̤̭̪̃̋̈́̅͂́̆̍̂̂͌͐̽̕͜͝ͅe̵̢̡̧̫͓͎̼̥̱̱͇͊̓m̶̡̢̪̜̦̻͖͕̝͖̠̙̺͛̉̾̏̎̀̑̏̕͘͝ͅe̵̫̭̤͖͎͇̗̤͍̣̪̼̫̽̏n̸̨̢͉̥̞̭͛̏͑̀̈́̾̃̽̓͒͐̓͊͜͠͠t̴̯̦̝͕̝̱̻͈͙̟͈̮̘̬̘̑̈́͐̉͗͗͗̇̆̇̿͘ ̴̭̭̉̆́̆͌̀̎͗͒̈̏̕̕̚͝ẗ̷̪̼̩̜̰̹͔̝̰̣̺̭̭̱͑̆͘h̶̛̺̯͖̀̽͌͛̅̄a̵̛̱͓̟͙̭̠͋̿̽̋͗̐̐̾̈̋̽͘͝t̵̝̬̱̣̖͒̈̈́ ̸̤͎̣̬̿̄̎̌̑̈ͅͅM̴̩̪̲͓͖͇̱̈́̀Ļ̷̢̦̞̝̖̖̺͕̗̘̩̑̈́͛̒̂͂Ṗ̸̧̦̣̻͓̬͍̙̹̯̙̃ ̸̛̹̙̥̯̲͚͆̀́̃̐̀͆̽̏͂͘w̴̢̠̞͖̩͇̬̪͗̈̐̑̓ă̸̢̞̖͕͖̞͍͜ͅs̶̢̢͔̥̠̣̫̘̽ͅͅ ̸͔̮͙̌̅́͑͘ͅe̵̲̼̘̱̝̫̝̼̬̜̘̬̱̔͌́̾̆̂̑̃̿͝n̷̘͔̹͎̩̤̗̈́͐̀̏͐͛͘̚̕̕ḑ̷̪͙͖̥̣̰̪̈́̈́̌̏̈́̂̈́̋̚i̵̢̡̟̪͇͓̱͇͇̟̟͋̽̆̽̆̽̀͆̈́̓͘͜͝n̵̟̩͉̳̯͋̂͛̄͋̓̋͐͑̍̕g̴͇̣̖̖̾͆̏̏̌̉͊̏͌̔͘͘̕̚͠!̴̡̨̢̡̻̫̞̙̞͖̺͍̻͍̋̉͐͂͑͜͝ ̴̧̛͙̗̝̣͖̻̳̞̘̝͎̞̅̈̔̏̃͊̌͘Ṅ̴̛̛̲͇͓̯̯̏̈́̈́ŏ̸̢̠̤͈̳̺̤̕t̴͎̖̹̄̀͌͜h̸̫̔̒͌̈́̄͝͠í̸̫̬͛͂͆͒̚̚͝ñ̵͔̰̟̠͔̘͍̠͓̃͐̍̚g̵͍͐͊̃͌̾̈̚ ̶̛̣̻̩̜̖͓͎̖̉̾̓͑̄̍̅̈́̒̓͘͘͝b̸̢̢̦̼͖͖̹̀̒̑̔͒͜ͅͅu̶͖͙̞̫̮͉͕̤͇͆̏̉͜ͅͅt̶̢͖̥̘̭̰̾̎̋̎͗̓̔̄͛͌̊̂̐͝͠ ̶͇̼͚̌̈̑̕B̸̨̨̲͕͓̍̂͆́͋̿̓̀͆͛̏̉͘͘͜r̷̡͎̟͎͈̺̺̦̺̯̻̓̀̏͒ͅǫ̷̘̖̻̹̠̲̜̠̋́ņ̴̫̘͍̠͖͉̝̟̱͈̖͙͌̓̑͆ĭ̸̧̛̬̤͙͔͉͉̹͎̙͑̊̐́̎̌̒̌̉͗̆̽e̵̛̛͇̓̉̈́̚͝s̷̬̞̻̲̣̼͍̽̀̒̉͊͗́̋́͝ͅ ̷͉̞͈̤̄̀͑̀͗͂̒̚ā̷̧͈̘͍̙̹̦̣̼͖̝̬͍̌̆̎̅̐̈́̔̑̍̋͗n̴̢̲͙̞͆͌̎̔̐d̶̳̘͙̫̪̰̼̞̭̫̒͋̀̓̊̽͆̓͑͘͠ͅ ̷̡̧̞̟̠̗͍̞̪̯̲̞͉̦̋͆̉͑̆͑̈́͌͊͌̚̚̕P̶̢̱͎̮̜̻̩͉̯͒̀͐̒͑̂̊̑͐͘̚ͅe̸̗̅̎̑͂͝ģ̸̢̥͓̰̳͙͚̼͔̘̱̻͍̯̏͊̏͋̅̈́͐̏͊̅̚ą̶̨̧̼̱͔̦̖̞̻̘̹͉̙̲̋̃̔̓̇̇͊̈́͂͊̂̕͝ş̵͍̞̼̟̼̼̦̯̩̩̗̘͗̓̇̆͆̎͋̉́̅̒͜͝i̷̛̛̲̟͊́̋̃͌ş̶̦͇̺̯̭͕̿́̓͑̄̉̎̊͛̏̕ṱ̴̡̹͔̖̗͉͎̲̦̥̫̬͎̂ͅé̸̢̛̩̱͖͈̘̝̹͕̳͇̪͙̦͎r̵̨̛͓̽̊̽͆̆͛̑͌̔͂̕͝s̶͔̈́́̅ ̶̡̼̳̫͕̮̖̞͍̳̽͋̓̌̍̇͊̽b̶̡̙̰̗̣̫̥̝͔̰̾a̷̼͖̣̻̝̗̙̟̩̣̤͎̞̻͓͋̌̽̏ŕ̷̞̩̜́̐k̸̡̮͖̘̞̺͕͔͇͕̥̟̼͌̎̔̇͋͌̿̈́̿́͐́͆̕i̷̠̺͙̳̩̩̩͎̰̅̃̐̅̒̋̀̊̕͜͝ń̷̜̬̘͔̌͐̌̅̑̔̃̈́͛͌͘g̶̳̘̙͖̺͈̈́̀̃̆̾͐̃̋̚̕͜͝͠ ̷̨̪͈̗̭͔͂̓́̾̍̐̒̈́̒̋͐͘͠͝ḫ̸̨̛̺̲̱̲̟̪͍͆͛̈̒͗̌͌̇͝ͅͅợ̵̧̝̲̱̰͓̱̦͗͐̐̅̇͌̐̂̈͛͗͘͘͝w̷͎̭̫̣̱͎̯̤̬̪̳̐,̷̢̨̢̤͍̲̫̱̞͓͔̍̐͒͜ͅ ̶̢͙̣͖̝͈͓̞͛̽͒̏'̵̢̢̡̜͍̩̖͇͔͚̌̋͊͆͒̈́̇̄̔͋ͅͅt̴̻̘̪̔͑̽̇̊̒͆̎́͑̀̽̚͜h̷͙͕̞̭̠̦͉͙̰͖̓̃̐͒̈̽͠ě̸̛̱̞̺̻̜̠͍͐̌ǐ̴̱̤̭̬̱̻̻̞͉̮͈̲̞̰̙́́̂̈͗͋͛̈́͋͗̔̾r̸̡̠͇̰̻͖̫̩͚͖̔͒̅͜ͅ ̴͍̜̘͈̞̱͓͖̺̣̂̒̾̃̈́̄̅̅͑̏̈̕̚̕w̶̲̬͉̹̗̖̱̭̙͋̍̄̉̇͂ö̴̭̠̼̫̙̥̤̱́̈́̿̓̽͊͌͜ŕ̶̡͓͉̟͇̻̲̠̙̜̰̝͈̭͉̊̒̊̐̿̔͝l̷̢̝̰͎̻̫͍̦͖̪̭̤̭͌̂̅͒̄͋̆͂͝d̷̠͈͕̱̳̹̎ ̸̢̧͈̹̟͉̥̥̠̜͔̜̏̇́̂̎̏̀̾̈́̉̔̈́͠͝ͅi̵̡̘̺̜̞̯̱̾̐͒̄͆̄̑͘̚̚̕͝͠͝s̴̘̭͉͈̰͓͇̳̞̘̼̒͒͆̅̽͋̉́̽̉͐͝͝ ̷̳͛͆͌̀̾̓͠e̷̛̲̞̤̹̘̺̎̒́̎̄͂͜͜͝ṉ̴̛̠̫̮̫͕͓͓͔̟͎͚̖̠̑̄̌̓͋̈́̿̀͗̀̊̇̿ď̶̡̧̖̣̗̤̫̩͎͙̠̈́̄̈́̅̅̐̋̽̈́̃̄i̷̞̱͇̹͍̱͖̳̜̤̯͇̪̩̱͗n̷̞̩̜̗̠͚̻̼̘̻̞̈͑̀̏̈̌̈́͝g̴̛̣̪͓̭̤̘̍̆̓̒̈̿̑̐́̋̚͠͝'̷̣̣͍͍̓͊́̿̑͑͌̿̎͑̀̉̒̚!̶̮͎͈̥̦̤͌́͂̾̀͌̐͗͋̀̇͠ ̶̨̨̩̤̻͖͉̻̺̮̀̓̀͜Ḓ̸̞̝͙̥̌r̷̢̘̟̦̤̰̩̔͐́̃̔͗̎̏̆̕͝͝͠ͅǎ̸͎̗̭̣̪̣͙̀͗̇͌͝m̵̧̛͖͖̹̮̥̤̈́̈́͐̀̂͗̋́̄̚͘ã̸̬̖̙͎͔͝͠ ̸̡̱̦͓͎͍̙̘̘̪̃̈́̄̇͘̕͝ͅQ̶̡̫͍͎͕̙̺̺͍̝͍͈̺͂͋̒̆̄̀͒̈́͠ȕ̴̠́̌̓͒̍̓̌͂͐̆̄͂͝͠é̴̩͇̪͆́̐̈́̎̊̿̀̓e̴̝̟̺͍̝͇͎͇̹̞͇̞̙̿ņ̵͇͋̂̇̃̂̅̿́͐̏͆̆͝s̸̛̮̲̩͔̓͒̃̇́̓̂̾͂̃͝,̵̧̛͚̺͉̜̯͓̖̤̈́̌̆̈́̒̾̆͝ ̵̡̡̧̪̗̲͇̭̮̍͊̑̈́͆́͐͊̀̌͜ḿ̸͕̣̞͓̗̟̟̀́̈́́́͂͋̔̿ͅͅǘ̸̧̟̟̺̩̪͔̭͉̃͘ç̸̤͈̣̭͔͖̥̝̮̬̺̩͈̇̔́̆͌̓͆̍̑͋́͘͝h̷̻̫̹̿?̶̢̘̻͖̦̼͖̯͖̖̹͉̱̃̔̉͆́́͝ ̷͙̫̯̳̞͕͍̟̪̮̞̏̾̐̓̎̕͜͝F̵̢̧̝͕͈̺̣̥̙̤͕͖͈̾͋̆̿̑͋͊̈́͜ơ̶̢̯̼͚̘͓̖̓̓̓͛̈́̄̌̾̂̚̚ṛ̴͕̙̪̓̕͜ ̷͕͔̜̭̘͉̼͎̮̹̰̗̆̀̃̓́̀͒̾ç̴̞̲̠̣̙̘̭͇̩̩̪̇͐͊͘ȑ̸̡̢̜͉̥̱̝̘̜̬͛̌̔̆̒̅̈̽̄̿́̽͜͜y̴̧̤͇͓̞̖̬̖͇̺͚̋̎́͊̄͊͘͝͝ͅi̵̢̲̙͍͉̟͎͎͆̑̆̎̀̇̇͒͌̌̍͝͠n̴̡͎͈̙͔̗̑̈́̆̾̍́̊̓́̒̽͛͝g̵̯̱̹͇̥͚͚̠͎͔͓̙͕̈́̂̉͋͒̑̾̄̈́͑̎̓̚͝ ̸̧̫̣͈͓͙̲̙͈͈̮͎͒̅̓̈͑̈́ͅͅo̴̢͉̙̫̦͚͓̠̩̘̻͎͗̅̀̎ͅư̸̪̰̥̊͒̅̅̀͛́͑͋͘͘t̶̡̨̛̫̰̳͔͔͊̉̈ ̵̡̨͙̮̤͂͐͗͐͊͒́̓͑́̾̌̕ĺ̸̨̥͕͔̫̳̀̂̔͘ò̷͕͓͚̖̜̠͍͎̺̮̘̜̔͗̈́̓͂̅̍̏ü̵̗͖̱͉̬̤̟̠̹͎̤̰̰̐̃ͅḑ̷̥͔̦̀͆̈́̔̔̈̀̊͗͌̄̑͌́͝,̷̯͓̟͔̲̙̦͆͊̀̐͛̑̓͂̈́ͅ ̵̧̡̫̝͉̟͎͉̺̗̱̻̝̺͔̋̉̐̕t̴͙͋̆͘ḩ̷̗̐̑̃͌͗̒́̃̃͐̍̀ͅå̵̧̡̬̭̞͉̟̲̼͚͚͈̔̄̅͊̓̒͐̚͜ͅt̴̡̡̺̗͓͚̬̮̠͇͔̳̺̲̓̔͒͋̊̀͘͝ͅ'̵̫͙̄̈́͂̅̔̀̂̇̊́͋̿s̴̲̏͜ ̴̢̫̬̪̟̤̮͙̬̳̬̄̓́̈͝͠n̵̪̩̻͊͑ơ̶̤͕̬̏̽̍̐̋̓͊̅̅͆͂̔t̴̙͔̟̬̮̲͎̞̥̩̺̙̬̺͒͆͐͌͌ ̷̛̳̬̹̞̥̖͉̲͆̐̍̆ͅͅa̸͖͉͚͚̝̹͉̠̳͋̀́̾̕͘͝͝͝ͅ ̵̯̟̻͓͈͈̹̜̮̰͖͔̍́́̔̑̽͗͋̌͝͝w̸̹̜̱͌̇͠o̷̱̱̼̥̤̝̜̅͋̐̌͊̓̎̕͝ͅr̵̢̲̻̯̯̖͕̳͖̯̟̜̀͜l̵̡̫̞͇͖͎̮͔͔̱̹͘͠d̶̨̗͙̜͔͕͍͚̰͔̎̄̆̋̅̏͜͝͝ ̴̨̢̣͕̗̻̬̱͛̈̅̾̎͝e̵̪̟̝͇̳̝̮̹̰̱̮͂̽͛̆͜͜͝ͅņ̶̡̛̥̫͉̤̳̬̾̌̎͋͆͆̇͝͠ͅd̷̡͖̹̪̦͉̩̥͔͌̍̇̏͂͑͗̽̒̔̂͛̑̉i̷̳̳̎̅̚n̷̢̨̟̳̟̻͚̩͆̔̉͜͜͝g̴̲̮͚̹̩̮͇̠̬͚̰̥̿͛̽̐̎͐̃̉͊͋̋͠!̸͇̟͈̠͚͙̘̝͈͂̅̉̋̆͗͊̽͘͘̚̚͜ ̸̲̽̄̏̐I̶̛͎͕͔̥̲͋̀̾̌̎̕͝'̵̠̫̥͛̓̋̉͐̑̀͊̌̾̐͆͗͘͝L̴͔̩̋̂̌̀́̃͊̑͌̃̚L̵̛̜̱̯̭͖͖̱̫̳̔̍͗̐͒͒̋͘ͅ ̶̨̰̰̬͚̖̮͕̍̌͐́̅́̑͒͜Ş̷̛̞͓̩͈͖̙̥̜̰̦̬͉̪̤̍̂̐͒͆͆̽̊̚̚H̶̯̞̖̊̓́̿̈́̔͠Ő̵̧̞̤̹̻̲̇̋̀͂͒͑͂̃̈̑̀͜W̷̡̘̭̪̩̪͈̮͎͛̑̈̇̋̊̆̓́ ̶̢̘̦̀͑̽̊͘͠Ỹ̵̬̈́̉̔̒̇̆́̆Ợ̶̧̧̛̯̬̗̝͓̘̯̲͓̭͙͒̓͆̇̑̉̈̆̂̔͗̓U̶̡̨̢̫͖͈͕̣͎͔̯͖̘̓̅̅́͠͝ ̴̧̛̛͇̩̝̌̾̅̈́̔̋̇̋̓͗̂͊͝Á̷̡̢̛̪̲͖̳̞̭͓̰͓̑͒̀͛̀͒̋̈́͛̂́̎͊ ̵̡̝͎̺͔͖̥̞̗͋R̷̢̥̖̘͉̮̗̝͛͑̓E̵̱͈͉̤̦͉̗̲̞͍̬̜̅͜Ą̵͎̻͚͇̮͍͔̰̻̪̋̂̀̈́̓̈́̔̌L̴̨̬̮͈̼̖̭̳̗͇̰̙͙̞͆ ̶̢̩͚̝̺̥̠̭̬̪̦̟̺̂̌̓̏͒̿͘'̸̛͔͔̝̲̘̱͚̱̮̈̏̒͛̕͜͜W̵̡̼̦͓̘͖͔̞̔̔̆͌̑ͅÓ̷̩͖̼̼̭̦̼̔̃͑̃̈̈̈̏̑͠R̶̢͇͇̘̙̫̠̙͓̃̾̔̂͌̿̊͠ͅL̴̻̳͈͇̹̝̫͈̏̂̽̄͝D̸̞̼̙̱̎̄͂̔̿̈̈̚̚͜͜͠ ̷̢̧̺̙̬̥́̔̊Ḗ̷̢̛͇̬̝̩͒̐͗̈́́̽͒͘N̷̨̺̺̯̯̘̜̫̦̪͙̥͐̽͛̐̋̎̉̔͒̽͜D̴̬̞̝̞͍͉̿̂̈́̂͛̿͌͊Į̶̳͍̲͖͚̼̟͎͉͓͇̞̥̘̎̈́̂N̶̻̠̞̙͇͍͉͓̑Ģ̴̛͓͇̥̪͇͙͔̼͖̗̌̃̅́͂͆̆̔̀̊'̷̠͑̇͋͊̄̂̿͂͝͠ ̷̧̢̭̹͇̿̍̑̃͆͜Ë̶̝͇̼̺̟͓̝̪̩͙͙̤̟̹́̌̌̉̍̒͂͑͆̏͌͝V̸̠̪̘̞̊̈̈́̀͒͠E̸̡͍̱̼͖̻̘̩̲̹̪̩̐̍̆̋̾͐́̍̿̒͠ͅN̶̡̠̙̯̦̗͈̽̑̉͗̐̂̎͛̈͜T̵̡̛̥̲̭̯̺͖͖͈͖͗̈̉͌̑̎̿͛̓́̇̈́͛ͅ!̵̧̥̺͇̝̈́̂̄͗́̇͝͝͝"̸͈͖̓̃̂͋̋̔̓̑̍͘

Suddenly every nuke across the world was transformed and sent flying...

...Meanwhile...

Dipper Pines had had an interesting life. The day he became a closet Brony, was the same day his favorite character Twilight Sparkle also came into his life, literally out of thin air. And although he grew up she stayed the same age.

Apparently, the last thing she remembered was running back to her home in Canterlot to learn more about 'Nightmare Moon', so was stunned when she ended up on another world as well as the fact she was such an icon here!

No one else seemed to notice Twilight for some reason...

And his sister Mable faded into obscurity...

In any case, at the age of 12 he traveled to Gravity Falls. Where he meet two closet pegasisters: Wendy and Pacifica! And they had also magically acquired Applejack and Rarity!

They had so many wonderful adventures together!

Killing the giant lizard man and saving the 8th dimension!

Solving the Mystery of the hologram moon!

Burning down the wickermen of dimension X!

And who could forget their defeat of Bill Cipher?

In any case, Dipper had grown close to the girls...and Twilight.

Seeing this, Twilight Sparkle had combined her magic with the copier machine clonner to make two copies of Dipper- solving that problem nicely!

Yes, between his new friends. New BROTHERS. New Unicorn girlfriend, and his upcoming apprenticeship with his Grunkle Ford the Summer was set to end on a high note!

...and then the news came...

"It's...it's the last season?" Asked Twilight in horrified disbelief. Dipper sadly nods.

...there was a long silence...

"What...what will happen to me?" Asked Twilight, they'd figured that Dipper's love of the show had brought her to him...so what would happen after it ended?

Dipper looked determined, "I don't know, but I do know this: You mean too much to me to just let you go. The impact you've had my life: the joy, the wonder...I'll do whatever I have to to keep you with me...be it voodoo ritual or fanfiction I'll keep your memory alive...I promise."

He hugs her as she cries.

Wendy and Pacifica try to lighten the mood.

"Look, it's not that bad...G4 might be ending...but you have G5! And Hasbro has had such a good streak with reboots lately! Transformers prime! Beast hunters! War for Cybertron! Robots in disguise(2015)! G.I. Joe Renegades! Plus that whole thing with Yggdrasil and all pony tribes getting their own fracking WORLD sounds awesome!" Exclaimed Wendy happily.

Applejack sighs, "Easy for you to say...I'm going from southern farmer to southernBELLE...I don't rightly know how I'm supposed to feel about that..." She said with a sigh.

Twilight looked up between sobs, "and another thing...I'm going to be an EARTH pony now? How am I supposed to deal with that? I love my horn!"

Dipper ignored his blush, "I love it too, but earth ponies will have magic now as well! Maybe you'll be a determined bookworm who dreams of becoming an earth pony mage while fighting racial prejudiced! That would be interesting!... Wouldn't it?"

Twilight just frowns, Dipper holds her tight. "Like I said...no matter what...you'll always be with me...no matter what, the world won't end for you...

Que the air raid sirens...

Everyone looked up startled, "What in tarnation!?" Exclaimed Applejack.

Suddenly, the television came on. "Hello everyone! This is your news Anchor **S** tanley **LENDERMAN** here to tell you...the world is ending!"

"WHAT!?" Shouted most of the world.

 **S** tanley nodded excitedly, "Yep, it's finally happened! The button has been pressed! WWIII is upon us! As we speak, billions of nukes are raining down on us! And not just any bombs! Z-bombs! every single one of them is capable of blowing up a chunk of the earth ten times larger then Texas! Igniting the very atmosphere we breathe! And there are thousands of these suckers! So if you have an underground bunker, don't bother! the very magma core of our planet is probably going to detonate, completely obliterating the very earth we stand upon...which will more likely then not impact and kill all the astronauts in orbit- SORRY GUYS! But in our final hours let's all hug your loved ones and ponies...all to the tune of R.E.M.'s 'It's the end of the world as we know it'!"

 **It's the end of the world as we know it**  
 **It's the end of the world as we know it**  
 **It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine (It's time I had some time alone)**

But the group was already running for the bunker...

 **That's great! It starts with an earthquake,**  
 **Birds and snakes, an aeroplane;**  
 **Lenny Bruce is not afraid.**

Meanwhile, in beach city- "Dang it, of all the times for the Gems to be out!" Shouted Connie as she, Steven and their ponies: Lotus Blossom and Aloe Vera run to the teleporter...only to find it shattered!

 **Eye of a hurricane, listen to yourself churn.**  
 **World serves its own needs, don't mis-serve your own needs.**  
 **Speed it up a notch, speed, grunt, no strength.**  
 **The ladder starts to clatter with fear of fight, down height.**  
 **Wire in a fire, represent the seven games**  
 **In a government for hire and a combat site.**  
 **Left her, wasn't coming in a hurry**  
 **With the furies breathing down your neck.**

Meanwhile, in Tremorton: "GAH! OF ALL THE DAYS FOR ME TO SHUTDOWN XJ9 FOR A TUNE-UP!" Screams Dr. Nora Wakeman as she and Jenny's Pony Daring Do pond on the computer updating a comatose XJ9. "BOOT YOU COMPUTERIZED TORMENTOR!"

 **Team by team reporters baffled, trump, tethered crop.**  
 **Look at that low plane! Fine, then.**  
 **Uh oh, overflow, population, common group,**  
 **But it'll do. Save yourself, serve yourself.**  
 **World serves its own needs, listen to your heart bleed.**  
 **Tell me with the rapture and the rev-'rent in the right, right.**  
 **You vitriolic, patriotic, slam, fight, bright light;**  
 **Feeling pretty psyched.**

And in Paris France...

"Hurry up, Ember!" Shouts Yumi Ishiyami as her dragon flew her to the old factory. "Don't yell at me!" Screamed the blue dragon as they meet up with the others...

"I'm scared Odd" Said Odd's Pony Trouble shoes. "It's okay big guy...we'll just go to Lyoko until this all...this all blows over..." Says a less then confident odd while Ulrich, Jermie and Aileta comfort Sugarbelle, Sunburst and Radiant Hope respectively...

 **It's the end of the world as we know it.**  
 **It's the end of the world as we know it.**  
 **It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine.**

"Come on! Come on! Your practically open 24/7! The one time I need you, your closed!?" Shouts Danny Phantom as he bangs on the shut-off ghost portal while Sam comforts Derpy and Moondancer...

 **Six o'clock. TV hour.**  
 **Don't get caught in foreign tower.**  
 **Slash and burn, return,**  
 **Listen to yourself churn.**  
 **Lock him in uniform and book burning, bloodletting.**  
 **Ev'ry motive escalate. Automotive incinerate.**  
 **Light a candle, light a motive.**  
 **Step down, step down.**  
 **Watch a heel crush, crush.**  
 **Uh oh, this means no fear; cavalier.**  
 **Renegade and steer clear!**  
 **A tournament, a tournament,**  
 **A tournament of lies.**  
 **Offer me solutions, offer me alternatives**  
 **And I decline.**

Harry Potter grabbed Tree huger and ran, he didn't know where they could go...he just ran!

 **It's the end of the world as we know it**  
 **It's the end of the world as we know it (It's time I had some time alone)**  
 **It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine (It's time I had some time alone)**  
 **I feel fine**

 **It's the end of the world as we know it (It's time I had some time alone)**  
 **It's the end of the world as we know it (It's time I had some time alone)**  
 **It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine (It's time I had some time alone)**

Ben 10 and his 'friend' Gwen quickly ran inside the RV with Button Mash and Babs seeds... "Grandpa! Get the rustbucket in gear!" They shout, "I'm trying! It's been awhile since I've used the space-ship mode! It's rusty!" He shouts as he guns the motor over and over to get it to start...

 **The other night I tripped a nice**  
 **Continental drift divide.**  
 **Mountains sit in a line.**  
 **Leonard Bernstein, Leonid Brezhnev,**  
 **Lenny Bruce, and Lester Banks**  
 **Birthday party, cheesecake, jelly beans, boom!**  
 **You symbiotic, patriotic, slam, but neck, right? (Right!)**

"What do you mean the scissors aren't working!?" Shouted Marco desperately. "I'm ripping it as hard as I can, but it just won't budge!" Shouted Star Butterfly desperately. Marco, Sassy Saddles and Cheese Sandwhich lend a hand to tear a hole in reality to escape...but it's all in vain...

 **It's the end of the world as we know it (It's time I had some time alone)**  
 **It's the end of the world as we know it (It's time I had some time alone)**  
 **It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine (It's time I had some time alone)**

Dipper just got word that their grunkles were at the bunker. They were almost there! ...and then he saw the first mushroom cloud...

 **It's the end of the world as we know it**  
 **It's the end of the world as we know it**  
 **It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine (It's time I had some time alone)**

Knowing running was pointless at this point...there was nothing but pony, brony, and Pegasister alike to do but embrace their friends as the world ended...

 **It's the end of the world as we know it (It's time I had some time alone)**  
 **It's the end of the world as we know it (It's time I had some time alone)**  
 **It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine (It's time I had some time alone)**

"I love you", Whispered Dipper into a sobbing Twilight's ear as the fire of the blast consumed them...

 **It's the end of the world as we know it (It's time I had some time alone)**  
 **It's the end of the world as we know it (It's time I had some time alone)**  
 **It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine (It's time I had some time alone)**

...

Spike blinked, one moment Twilight was running in frantically searching for the mare in the moon, then she just vanishes, and NOW she was back...with a hairless, naked ape?

"YOUR ALIVE! I'M ALIVE! WERE ALIVE! WERE BACK IN EQUESTRIA! YOUR NAKED!(that last one was more Twilight shouting then Dipper)

They quickly realized they were back in Equestria, the day of Nightmare Moon's coming. They also realized that even though the series was ending, their STORY wasn't. For whether it be real or fanfiction, as long as the love of the story remains in your heart...it'll never truly end...

"What...just happened?" Asked a confused Spike.

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account.**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	302. Wendy the matchmaker

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

...III...

In one universe, Wendy knowing about Stan up-and-coming 'revenge trip' would sneak out of work early and avoid the whole misadventure that would ensue...

This is not that universe...

...

Wendy grumbled as she packed the RV, she'd been so close to ducking out early! But Tambry sent that one stupid text at the WORST time, Stan heard it and caught her! Now she was stuck on this stupid trip for the next several days.

Well, could be worse she supposed...at least tshe'd be spending time with her friends...

And that's when she walks on Mable accidentally dumping Dipper's private box all over everything.

Having apparently not noticed Wendy they began the same conversation from cannon...all the while Wendy looked on amused...then annoyed.

"Two words bro: Move on." Said Mable simply as she began to walk away.

Wendy blinked for a second surprised, "Wait, hold on. That's it? That's your advice?" She exclaimed. Stunned, everyone turned around and noticed the red-head for the first time.

Dipper buried his face in his hat embarrassed.

"Okay, first of all. Mable, what are you doing with Dipper's private belongings? Learn to respect his privacy already!"

Mable faltered, "I was-

"Secondly, to answer you question Dipper...you don't really have control over when and where you STOP having feelings for someone...it sucks, but all you can really do is ride it out to it's conclusion, I'm sorry man." She said sympathetically.

She then turns to the other two angrily, "And frankly, it's none of your business how he handles it!"

"But...it's just really annoying that he hasn't gotten over it." Said Mable exasperated.

Wendy glared at her, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize the world revolved around YOU. So is that it, then? Dipper's feelings are unimportant as long as it inconveniences YOU?!" She snapped back annoyed.

Mable blanched as if smacked across the face, "What!? No- I didn't mean- She groaned, "Look, Dipper has all those photos of you stashed away, isn't that creepy to you?" She asked confused.

Wendy rolled her eyes, "Well considering I'm smiling and posing for each one of those pictures that I clearly ALLOWED Dipper to take, I don't really have a leg to complain with what he dose afterward!" Before Mable could say anything else-

"Furthermore, a girl who collects hundreds of photos of everyone- permission be fracked! - to put in her scrapbook AND has a model city where she has personalized doll version of her friends shipped together however she wants isn't exactly in a position to declare someone else creepy!"

Mable blushed horrified, "WENDY! I SHOWED YOU THAT IN CONFIDENCE!" She screamed.

But Wendy was on a roll, "And finally...you two aren't really in any position to give relationship advice. Mable you only really started dating recently and they all flounderd before anything could really happen-

"Ah, you had to bring that up!" Groaned Mable as she remembers all her failed crushes...

"And Soos...look buddy, I'm happy for you and Melody. REALLY, I am...but let's be honest, you got CRAZY lucky with her. Between your terrible social skills and GIFFANY it was a miracle she didn't run away screaming."

"Your words are cruel but fair Corduroy." Said Soos somberly..

The two, now properly chastened, Walk away in shame...

Wendy looks back and sees a depressed Dipper put away the pictures of her...

Wendy frowns at that, she meant what she said at the bunker. Dipper was a great guy and a great friend, head and shouldiers above all the one-dimesional wads she'd made the mistake of giving a chance to... Really if he'd only been a bit older...

Wendy shook the blush off her face, _"Anyway, I'm going to do something about this! Don't worry buddy, I'm going to help you find a girl!"_ She thinks to herself as she helps her friend pack for waht was going to be a very interesting road trip...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Got my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	303. Wendy's naked summer

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

RasenganFin: 1. yep 2. PM 3. any other suggestions for matchmaker?

Gamelover41592: thank you

The Howling Behemoth: 1. Sorry to hear, how close are you with your adventure time fic? 2. Tamdip...sorta. 3. Thank you.

...III...

Wendy rolled her eyes, last day of school, one last assembly...probably some scmaltzy garbage about 'moral Hygiene'...or the virtues of 'science slumber parties'.

Wendy wanted to retch, well whatever. Just one more hour and she'd be free of this snore factory for the summer. True, her dad forcing her to get a summer job was a bit of a drag...but whateve's she could work around it, she always did.

To her surprise, instead of their lame-o principal some new guy showed up...next to a badass sports car, a pile of cash and a diploma?

The guy- named **S** tanley **Lenderman** , was talking about some contest. Everyone in the school would enter for a valuable prize, he would draw a name from the box. That person would win a chance at wining: a billion dollars, a new car and an early graduation!

Naturally, Wendy practically trampled everyone to sighn up and put her name in first. When the stampede had finished, the man drew-

"Wendy Blerble Corduroy!"

For once Wendy didn't care about her lame middle name being shouted to everyone! She was going to win! She'd throw herself in the dang woodchipper to get even ONE of those prizes!

"Wendy, your our contestant! Your challenge: Strip naked on the stage and be naked for the rest of the summer!"

...there was a long silence...

Wendy chuckled..."Y-your joking right?"

"Nope, in fact if you don't come here, strip in front of everyone in the next minute, you forefit!"

Again, there was silence. Everyone was just sorta staring at her, waiting to see what she'd do...and Wendy just couldn't believe this! "You-your not serious! Y-you can't really expect me to go along with that!"

The man shrugged, "Hey whatever girl...billion dollars, new car, and a free ticket out of three more years of this prison...plenty of other people would be happy to do WORSE."

Indeed, everyone started to look eager...

The man started to countdown; "Offer expires in 30...29...28...

Wendy started to panic! She wanted all that so badly...but to be naked? For a summer?

...27...26...25...

The she realized something...she lived in the forest! She was WAY out of anyone's way! There was no way they could REALLY enforce that kind of thing!

...24...23...22...

...and she could probably sue them for sexual harassment if they got too aggressive about this!

...21...20...19...

Iin fact, she could probably use this as an excuse to get out of work and just laze around the house all summer! AWESOME!

...18...17...16...

...still...she'd still have to get naked in front of everyone here at the absolute very least...

...15...14...13...

But school was almost over...

...12...11...10...

And she knew a fast shortcut home through the forest with a lot of cover...

...9...8...7...

Plus, if she won she'd never have to see any of these losers and perverts again, so who really cared what they saw?

...6...5...4...

...was there still a downside to this?

..3..2..1-

"OKAY! I ACCEPT! HOLD ON!

The man ends the timer and smiles as Wendy jumps up and heads to the stage. "That's the spirit!" Wendy was barely listening, deciding to just get this over with. So much like ripping off a bandage she ripped off her clothes as she ran up to the stage-

"THERE! I'M NAKED! A DEALS A DEAL!" Shouts a scarlet and mortified Wendy as she desperately ignored the wolf-whistles and phone-camera flashes.

The man smiled, "Indeed, a deals a deal." Said the man as he slapped a weird bracelet on her wrist.

"What, what is this?" She asked as she struggled to get it off.

"A device that makes it impossible for you to wear clothes, it's new tech and therefore not covered under sexual harassment laws- Well, have a good summer! I'll have your prizes ready the last day!"

Before Wendy could stop him, he was gone...and then she remembered she was naked in front of everyone-

Mercifully, the bell rang. Quickly, Wendy tried to use some of her shirt to cover her-

 **GLOW!**

-but the bracelet glowed and it vanished! "Oh, come on!" She shouted just as Tambry took a pic of her as she runs past, "Seriously Tambry!?" "Come on! When am I going to get a chance like this again?" Shouts back a gleeful Tambry.

Wendy tried to stay ahead of the seething mass of eager teens...but she could already feel her butt get pinched and slapped.

Eye's burning with humiliated tears, Wendy runs out of the school and down her secret shortcut- Wendy tried to keep her heart rate steady, _"Okay, Wendy. Be calm, okay...this is kinda a drag...but if I just stay in the house all summer...I'll be fine-_

...

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I STILL NEED TO GET A JOB!? I'M NAKED!" Screamed Wendy.

Manly Dan shrugged, "Hey, you brought this on yourself. You made this deal, now you gotta live by it."

"Live- Dad, there's nothing in the deal that insists I go outside!"

Dan groans, "For the love of- WENDY, didn't you read the contract you signed!?"

Wendy looked at him confused, "Contract...what contract?"

Dan slapped his forehead, "Bunyan give me strength- The contract! You and the rest of the school signed when you filled your names in before your name was called?"

Wendy blanched, "That- that was a contract? I thought that was just a sign-up sheet!"

Dan just shook his head, "No, it was a contract. A contract that stipulates you need to go to the local Bargin mart tech support to get your bracelet checked on weekly."

Wendy gaped in horror, "But the Bargin-mart has the worse service! Not only will I have to wait around an HOUR, I'll have to go in the middle of the day during rush hour since that's when it's open!"

Dan nods, "Yep, not to mention it eludes to some..'other' surprises."

Wendy moaned, "Well, that's just terrific...but why do i need o still get a job? This'll be humiliating enough as it is! Besides, after Summer I'll have all the money I could ever want!"

Dan glared, "Right there, that attitude is why I made you get a job in the first place! Your too irresponsible Wendy! You never think things through You barely ever plan today, nevermind long-term! When your not mooching off that Thompson boy or your latest crush, you spend money like it's on fire! I'll bet my favorite Axe that if I allow things to go as is, you'll squander that billions within a week! And since the High school made it clear it'll honor that 'diploma' and won't take you back, you'll have no prospects at all!"

"But...I'm naked." Said a shamed Wendy almost crying.

But Dan was firm, "That's just more proof you need to learn this lesson. You let your sloth and greed override your common sense, you accepted a deal without learning all the facts, you clearly just assumed you could weasel out of your commitment- LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO...No, Wendy it's time you grow up! And if I have to humilate you to get this lesson nailed into your head, so be it!"

"Dad, please-

"No, Wendy my mind is made up! Now you have two choices; you can leave town and go to your cousins lumber-mill or I can talk to Stan about having you work at his tourist trap- he owes me one."

Wendy groaned, she hated it...but if she had to choose...she'd go with the shack, at least it was in town...

Besides...how much tourism could this rinky-dink town get anyway?

...

Meanwhile, Dipper Pines suddenly got a nice warm feeling. "What is it bro-bro?" Asked Mable. "I...don't know why...but I got this weird feeling that this summer is going to end VERY well for me..."

Both twins just shrug and go back to packing...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	304. A bet with life

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

Gamelover41592: yes it will be!

The Howling Behemoth: he will. 2. Tell me about it. 3. Great to hear!

...III...

Wendy sighed, another day, another boring day at her job with her weird boss scamming idiots...

She briefly heard something about his niece and nephew staying for the summer...that might be nice, she liked to think she was pretty chill with kids...except if they were her brothers, then she'd probably just throw them in the lake.

To her surprise, her boss Stan suddenly calls her and Soos to come front and center.

To their confusion their usually cantankerous boss looked downright flustered, "Right...so bit of a change in plans...turns out my nephew-in-law inherited my families compulsive gambling-

"That literally makes no sense." Said Wendy confused.

-ANYWAY." Continued Stan annoyed. "He also inherited our luck-

"Oh, no did the little dude and dudette lose their home?" Asked Soos concerned.

Stan again coughs while blushing, "Well, that...among other things..." He stops talking when he sees the clock, "Dang it, they'll be at the bus stop soon! You- look, no time to explain just get to the bus stop and get them into the shack without anyone seeing them! I'll distract the customers with that hypno-coin dealie!"

"What- Stan, your not making any sense. Why do they-

"No time! Just go!" He practically pushes them out. Not knowing what else to do...Wendy and Soos comply...

...

Wendy and Soos went to the bus stop, there was no real issue...and then thew bus came...

For a moment...all was silence...then-

YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO HOME BUT YOU CAN'T STAY HERE!

Suddenly the shapes of two kids were thrown out of the bus, they hit the ground so hard their eye's formed anime spirals indicating they were out of it...but that wasn't what drew the two employers attention...

The two kids...were NAKED!

There wasn't a scrap of clothing between the two save for a a couple of weird rings, one wrapped around her middle the other wrapped around...what might frankly be the smallest cock that Wendy had ever had the displeasure to see.

Seriously, she'd seen newborns who had bigger stuff then that!

Getting over their mortification, Wendy quickly turned to the bus that was pulling away. "Hey- WAIT! Don't go! You've left two naked kids here!"

But the bus had already left...

"Not looking, not looking, not looking. No want to be on the Mr. 'Bad touch' list. I'm a GOOD guy!" Said Soos over and over as he kept his eyes covered.

Wendy groaned, based on the quick description Stan had shouted at them as he pushed them out...this was DEFINITELY his neice and nephew...WOW this was 12 kinds of awkward...

Frantically looking around to make sure no one was looking Wendy battled her unease as she picked up the still unconscious boy, "Come on man, we need to get them inside before anyone sees them!"

Soos whimpered... "Uh...can't I wait until...AFTER she wakes up? AFTER she writes a signed waiver of consent that will give me permission me to...(gulp) touch her?" He said that last bit with a whimper.

Wendy groaned, "Sorry big guy, I'm as uncomfortable about this as you are! But we don't have time! Any moment now someone could come by and see them! You don't want to humiliate them, do you?"

Soos gave a resigned sigh as he reluctantly picked up Mable -how did she get jugs like that, she's freaking 12 for crying out loud! Oh, I'm so going to jail!" He whimpers under his breath as he and Wendy quickly run to the shack...

Unaware jut how the awkwardness would only escalate from there...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	305. Dipper's guide 45 Jungle girl

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

Gamelover41592: Yep

RasenganFin: Why are you so certain that I do her a favor and him a disservice with this? Besides he's not hung like a gnome...even gnomes will laugh at him...

...III...

The camera flickers on, Dipper Pines adjusts it. "Hello and welcome back to Dipper's guide the unexplained. Where we once again find ourselves searching for anomaly #45...the illusive Jungle girl-

"Bro, bro come on! Do we have to do this again?"

"Mable, this time I know I can catch her!"

"That's what you said the last 5 times! Her kicking your ass and striping you naked was funny the first 50 times- "IT'S ONLY BEEN 20!", interrupts a flustered Dipper.

Mable rolls her eyes and continues, -But now it's just getting sad...also, I'm getting tired of vomiting from the sight of your 'teeny weeny'."

Dipper blushed and covered his crotch on reflex, "It was cold- "Every single time you were stripped naked? In the middle of the day during the worse heat wave ever? Bro-bro...you got a baby dick, you know it, I know it, SHE knows it, and after your last few attempts every girl in town knows it-

...flashback, several days ago...

A naked Dipper's face went red as he was laughed at everytime the Northwest main gate- which he'd been tied to -automatically closed and flashed his goods to the next arrival who showed up.

Pacifica Northwest laughed as she took more pictures, "Huh, maybe this charity girls scout jamboree won't be a bust afterall." said Pacifica as she pointed and laughed at a sobbing Dipper along with all the hundred of other girls...

...

Dipper snarled, "We don't need to bring that up-

"Dipper, you literally don't have an ass anymore! She's kicked it so often, that there's nothing but stitches and scar tissue back there!"

Dipper blushed and covered his now much more scrawny rear-

...Flashback...

Dipper smiled as he held the camera and watched the hidden cage waiting for his prey to-

 **CRUNCH!**

Dipper cried in pain as he was suddenly kicked in the rear so hard he could feel his coccyx break and he went tumbling from the tree, a flash of red and leopard skin descended with him, grabbed him by his clothes, shook him until they ripped and allowed him to fall painfully to the ground naked...

 **STOMP!**

Right before she fell down and drop kicked his testicles...

...

Dipper gritted his teeth, "Be that as it may-

"Bro! You have your own calendar for the next five years the amount of times you've been caught running home naked!" She holds up a calendar showing pictures of a naked, bruised and sobbing Dipper running...

Dipper glared, "If your not going to help me Mable then just go! Meanwhile, I'm going to set my trap!" He smiles as he puts the finishing touches on his trap, he places a large red bottle in as the bait-

 **CRACK!**

The red headed jungle girl swung from a vine, kicked him in the nuts, beat him up while he was down, stripped him naked, tossed him into the trap, stole the bottle and laughed as she fled...

Mable sighed, "I'm not going to free you this time Dipper...Clearly this is the only way you'll learn to let this go..."

But to her surprise...HE WAS SMILING!?

"...Phase...one...complete..." He said through his broken teeth.

...

Jungle Girl Wendy smiles, once more that silly male had been bested! And now to enjoy her victory, she smugly sits on the tallest tree of the forest wearing nothing but a leopard skin bikini.

She examines her prize...some sort of strange liquid...writing on the side? R...ooo...mmmm? Ah, whatever. As long as it tasted good...and it's great! It's like magic! She shares it with a nearby gorilla...

...20 minutes later...

Wendy giggled perversely, She turns to gorilla. (hic) Hey! That...is that your face...or did ...did you ass...your ass- (Hic) -crap out a monkey?" She snickered drowsily.

Drunk Gorilla just growls and smacks her off the tree, deeply inebriated and her agility and hand-eye-coordination now deeply compromised, Wendy was completely helpless to stop what happened next-

 **CRASH!  
**

-As she smashed through the limbs-

 **GAH!**

 **WHACK!**

 **OW!**

 **CRACK!**

 **WHY!?**

 **SMACK!**

 **NO!**

 **GALAXY BUCKER!**

 **CRASH!  
**

 **GAH!**

 **WHACK!**

 **OW!**

 **CRACK!**

 **WHY!**

 **SMACK!**

 **NO!**

 **CRASH!  
**

 **GAH!**

 **WHACK!**

 **MOMA'S FRACKING BUCK!**

 **OW!**

 **CRACK!**

 **WHY!**

 **SMACK!**

 **NO!**

 **CRASH!  
**

 **GAH!**

 **WHACK!**

 **SON OF A LEPER!**

 **OW!**

 **CRACK!**

 **WHY!**

 **SMACK!**

 **NO!**

 **BLOODY NUMPTY!**

 **CRASH!  
**

 **GAH!**

 **WHACK!**

 **OW!**

 **CRACK!**

 **WHY!**

 **SMACK!**

 **NO!**

 **CRASH!  
**

 **GAH!**

 **WHACK!**

 **OW!**

 **CRACK!**

 **WHY!**

 **SMACK!**

 **NO!**

 **POSIDENS CORNHOLE!**

 **CRASH!  
**

 **GAH!**

 **WHACK!**

 **OW!**

 **CRACK!**

 **WHY!**

 **SMACK!**

 **NO!**

 **POPA'S LOVEFRACK!**

 **CRASH!  
**

 **GAH!**

 **WHACK!**

 **OW!**

 **CRACK!**

 **WHY!**

 **SMACK!**

 **NO!**

 **GOBBERFISH SUCK COLT!**

 **CRASH!  
**

 **GAH!**

 **WHACK!**

 **OW!**

 **CRACK!**

 **WHY!**

 **SMACK**

 **NO!**

 **CRASH!  
**

 **GAH!**

 **WHACK!**

 **OW!**

 **CRACK!**

 **WHY!**

 **SMACK!**

 **NO!**

 **CRASH!  
**

 **GAH!**

 **WHACK!**

 **OW!**

 **CRACK!**

 **WHY!**

 **SMACK!**

 **NO!**

 **CRASH!  
**

 **GAH!**

 **WHACK!**

 **OW!**

 **CRACK!**

 **WHY!**

 **SMACK!**

 **NO!**

 **CRASH!  
**

 **GAH!**

 **WHACK!**

 **OW!**

 **CRACK!**

 **WHY!**

 **SMACK!**

 **NO!**

 **GRANNY'S DOUCHEBAG!**

 **CRASH!  
**

 **GAH!**

 **WHACK!**

 **OW!**

 **CRACK!**

 **WHY!**

 **SMACK!**

 **NO!**

 **BOOM!**

Finally she hit the ground...her body twisted and broken six ways to Sunday...

She whimpered as she lifted up her head-

 **CRACK!**

-Only for it to be nailed by the glass bottle of rum-

 **BOOM!**

-Followed by the equally plastered gorilla, crushing what little unbroken bones she had left-

...soon the clearing was quiet again save for the sobs of the broken Jungle girl...then a whistling Dipper enters said clearing, pushes the gorilla aside, rips of the remains of Wendy's bikini, then drags her mangled body away while whistling a happy tune...

"Don't worry Wendy...I have some health potions that'll fix you right up...however-

 **...**

STEP RIGHT UP! THE MYSTERY SHACKS NEW ATTRACTION! 500 DOLLARS A POP! THE NAKED JUNGLE GIRL!

Shouts dipper as he directs tourist to the cage where a naked- and fully healed -Wendy has been chained up and imprisoned.

Dipper looks at all the money he's racking in and smiles to the camera, "And that concludes today's video- "I'M KILLING YOU WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE!" Screamed a mortified Wendy.

Dipper just smiles, "Never forget, perseverance in adversity!"

Pacifica suddenly steps up beside him to yank down his shorts to take a quick pic of his teeny weeny, "But don't forget that trying TOO hard will only show the world how desperate you are to overcompensate." She remarked with a vicious smirk.

Dipper just blushes as he turns off the camera...

...III…

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my p,a,t,r,e,o,n acoount.  
**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	306. The naked pine tree

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

RasenganFin:...not a fan I take it?

SuperSonicBros123: Thank you for your review and for valadating my methods, the concern and rage you have for Dipper is exctley what I was aiming for. So thanks for that.

Blind-Eyephone: Oh, I'm sorry. What's confusing you?

...III...

It was a normal day in the Gravity falls jungle, men and woman scantily clad in leopard-skin loincloths, young people swinging about on the latest vine, naked leopards protesting their persecution and being repeatedly striped of their dignity.

Yes, just a normal day...

...

Jungle girl Mable slept in her bed content-

 **BANG!**

 **BANG!**

 **BANG!**

Mable groaned, it was too early! She slipped on her pelt and walked out to the catwalk of the tree house. where surprise, surprise! Her twin brother Dipper was working on another project.

"Dang it Dipper, the sun is barely up! You promised no more noise on Saturnalia day!" She remarked irritably.

Jungle Boy Dipper wearing nothing but a loincloth, turned to her annoyed. "Mable you wouldn't have such problems with mornings if you just partied at night less! Besides, I'm very close to perfecting a new vine that will revolutionize our society! This bad boy will fling people to the other side of the jungle and back! I first thought of it-

Mable groaned drowsily as Dipper did his 'nerd' talk! Again, it was too early for this! This was the fifth time this week he'd kept her up! Worse, she had a date tonight with that cute mermando fish-boy! She needed her beauty rest! Why couldn't he just find dates at the end of the week like every other jungle guy!?

Oblivious to his sisters disinterest, he continues talking. "And of course, there's no chance of me just getting stranded in the middle of the jungle no matter where I go the vine will always come back as I've washed my loincloth in a special pheromone so it can always find me!"

He gestures to his only piece of clothing, "I bet you can't even see the chemical I applied to it." He says with a smile.

Mable glared as she rubbed her eye's of sleep. "Aside from the padding you apply to it so no one notices you have nothing between your legs but a pine needle and two sesame seeds? No, I don't see anything." She says irritably as her aching body demands more sleep.

Dipper goes red, "Uh...right..." He covers his groin self-consciously while he coughs nervously. "Anyway, time for the testing!" He takes up the mystically enhanced vine, "I'll just have this bad boy fling me to a random spot in the jungle to test the pheromone's range! Mable could you twist that red flower on it that controls distance tot he left? Not too much though, I need to start small."

Mable rolls her eye's as she dose just that, "So how long will these experiments last?" She asked annoyed, eager to take off this itchy pelt and lie naked on her comfy bed.

Dipper did some quick mental calculation as he positions himself for optimal vine swinging, "Oh...probably best if I do 500 tests...give or take."

Mable's eye's glared at him, FIVE HUNDRED!? THAT'LL TAKE ALL DAY!"

Dipper nods, "Only way to cover all the possible faults." he said simply as he went back to adjusting the vine, oblivious to his sisters irritation.

Mable ground her teeth, she was too exhausted to argue or do anything really strenuous...but like BLOOD was she going through this all day! SHE WANTED SLEEP FRACKIT!

So while Dipper wasn't looking, she twisted the flower as high as it would go, that ought to keep him busy for awhile...assuming that vine didn't just bring back through his loincloth and-

Mable got an evil grin, she walks up to her brother who was still completely focused on adjusting the vine and sitting on top of the treehouse railing.

"Uh, Dipper remind me...it's the red flower that needs to be twisted?" Asked Mable as she lifts herself partially onto the railing and puts her hand near Dipper as if to steady herself.

Dipper nods and goes back to the vine.

Mable smile s at her brothers unshakable focus. "And I twist it to the left?" She asks as she undoes the knot on Dippers loincloth.

Still oblivious, Dipper nods again.

"Great, good talk!" Mable quickly hurries back, "Okay, I think it's ready!"

Dipper smiles and give an enthusiastic howl as he jumps off and let's the vine do the rest...

Content that she wouldn't be seeing him for awhile...she goes back to sleep naked...

...

The three girls screamed as the tiger got closer. Emma Sue in a leapord pelt embraced her half-sister's log girl(called that since she wore nothing but a hollowed out log) and Corn Maize girl(called that as the sacred keeper of the holy corn Maze...also she wore nothing but a bikini made of corn stalk leaves)

Emma sniffed, she was going to die here and she never kissed a boy!

 **BOOM!**

To their surprise, the tiger had been slammed by a blur...next thing they know, the tiger is out cold...and in it's place is that weird Pines boy from down the tree?

Dipper groans as he tries to regain his balance, "Wha- What just-

"Dipper you save us!" Shouted the girls excitedly!

Dipper then sees the tiger knocked out cold, "Wha- Oh, yeah! Saving you from the Tiger!...Totally my plan all along!" He lied quickly.

He coughs nervously, "Well, nice to see you girls again. But I need to get going, I have a test to complete." He smiles as he sees the vine has attached himself to his loincloth, he quickly give it a yank-

...and then watches the vine zip away without him.

"Wha-what happened? I should have gone with it!" Exclaimed Dipper confused, he quickly goes through calculations in his head to figure out what wendy wrong...

So caught up with this was he, that he was only vaugley aware of the girls giggling and sauntering up to him.

"Uh...dipper...your...'Au natural'." Teased Log girl with a giggle as she sauntered up to him.

"Wha? oh, yeah. I guess I am kinda a natural at this." Said Dipper not really paying attention.

Maize girl gigled as well, "Uh...no Dipper...your buck naked!" She laughed that last part as she walked behind him.

Dipper, not really listening- "wha- Buck? No, the buck suckles can't have been the reason-

"DIPPER, YOU LOST YOUR LOINCLOTH!" Emma laughs as jumps in front of him and now pokes the now exposed part of his anatomy playfully.

This wakes Dipper up from his stupor, he turns bright red when he sees she's right! Dipper squealed in embaressment and tried to cover himself and run-

But the two girsl behind him, grabbed him and forced his arms behind him.

Emma hunches down and giggles what she sees, "Wow...it's even smaller then I thought it be."

Dipper blushed, "Heeey, come on! I just saved you!"

Emma grinned evily, "Oh, we know Dipper...that's why were going to have fun with you a bit...as a reward." She says impishly...

Dipper gulps terrified...and his genitals completely shrivel in fight...

causing the girls to laugh again, "Awww! It crawled back into tit's shell!"

...III…

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my p,a,t,r,e,o,n account.  
**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	307. Wendy the Cougar 11

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

RasenganFin: (discussed on PM)

Gamelover41592: Thank you

...III...

Tambry was confused about her oldest friends behavior lately, suddenly she started acting really weird around pre-teen boys...then she started to act even weirder when she started working at the creepy shack with that sleazy old man...

She's mostly shrugged it off as her not liking kids of those age group thanks to her brothers and the pressure of working for a cantankerous geezer...well, mostly she just rationalized what she could so she didn't have to look up from her phone-

But there was no rationalizing this!

"Wendy, are you not wearing a bra!?" Hissed Tambry to the red-head quietly as they waited for Dipper to let them inside the abandoned convenience store.

Wendy looked at her shocked, "What? No! Of course I- Then to her horror...she realizes that...yes...she had no bra.

Wendy went red, _"Wha- How did...I know I had it in my hands when I was getting dressed! Why did...I mean...sure I was a bit distracted, thinking of Dipper...and how fun it would be if he accidentally felt up my bare...wait...did I...did I SUBCONSCIOUSLY want this?"_

Wendy was taken from her thoughts by Tambry, "Okay, seriously Wendy...what is going on with you lately?"

Before Wendy can respond-

"I got it open!" Shouts Dipper as he opens it from within. "Alright, DR. Funtime!" Shouts the teens.

Wendy takes this opportunity to ditch Tambry and congratulate Dipper.

Tambry frowned at this and for the first time in...wow, she couldn't even remember the last time...she concentrated on...NOT her phone...but- (SHUDDER) -people!

She watched as Wendy gave the kid- and kid he was, if that squirt was really '13' she'd eat her shoe! -an affectionate hat rub and small peck on the che-

Hold the phone...that was no peck...and was..Wendy...blushing?

...wait...come to think of it...didn't she get a lot of rumors involving Wendy on the predator list for...

She quickly scrolls through old texts and...yep, it was the same kid. Picture and everything...huh...he looked kinda familiar, she quickly shakes that thought off and follows everyone inside.

She waits for everyone to be busy doing their own thing, then she goes to confront Wendy alone...peeking upward as the boy was lifted up to get her something from the high shelf!?

Getting over her own fluster she quickly told Dipper to get some ice.

"Wendy...do you...like that kid?"

Wendy went bright red and started to sputter, "What- How'd you- I mean NO! What?! That's crazy! Whatever rumors- I DIDN'T see him naked!" She denied/pleaded mortified.

Tambry just gaped at her, "Oh, my blood! It's true! You want to bang that kid!? Wendy what is wrong with you?!" Before Wendy could retort- "No, seriously. If the fact that me- your far more sexually active friend -is able to judge you with a straight face...that should be a red flag to you right there!" She exclaimed in disbelief.

Wendy quickly made sure no one could see or hear them, "Okay, fine! I...don't know why...but I started feeling attracted to younger guys around the time summer ended...at first I just ignored it...but then Dipper showed up...and he's probably the most amazing guy I've ever meet! He's funny, intelligent, mature, I have such a great time with him-

Tambry groaned, "Oh, Wendy, Wendy. Look, I know that the local guys are...terrible. So terrible that an underage minor will seem like a legit upgrade...but that doesn't make him any less of an underage minor! Wendy, do I really need to go over all the ways that this can end badly? Frack, even criminals consider people who do that sort of thing scum! You can't-

Suddenly Wendy got a frantic text from Dipper about how the place might be haunted and how they should get out of there fast! Having seen her fair sure of weird things and trusting Dipper completely she quickly tells Tambry they'll discuss this later and that she needed to get out of the store now! She runs to get the others-

Tambry, annoyed by the blow-off. Ignores her and follows her. They find Robbie calling Dipper a chicken for not lying down on the chalk-outline and calling him a scardy cat for believing in ghosts.

Wendy- annoyed at seeing Dipper getting mocked- chimes in saying Dipper doesn't have to prove anythign to anyone since they all owe him for getting them inside, if anything Robbie should lay in the chalk line with the taunt "How many shut down stores have you gotten us into lately Robbie?"

Robbie, humilated. gets on the floor to save face before anyone can stop him and-

 **BAM!**

Next thing Tambry knows, she's been sucked into the TV! and given a front row seat to her friends torture!

Wendy tries to fight back, she takes her flannel shirt off and proceeds to pull at her shirt-

But then Dipper confronts them instead...

Tambry...is kinda impressed by this kid staring down the ghosts, being smart enough to figure out their 'biz' as well...and then...

 **Well...Who wants a lamby lamby lamby?**  
 **I do!I do!**  
 **So go up and greet your mammy mammy mammy**  
 **Hi there! Hi there!**  
 **March March March around the daises don't don't you forget about the baby!**

THE. MOST. ADORABLE. THING. EVER.

Tambry, at the same time as Wendy. Squeed. Tambry was SOOO glad that her phone came with her to record all this, in fact-

"OW! What the, did a mosquito just- Wait, how would a mosquito even get in here?" Asked Tambry out loud. She never saw the eldritch abomination clutching a blowgun as it faded back to static...but she DID see Dipper finishing his song with a nice splitz-

 **RIP!**

Which completely destroyed the suite, leaving Dipper briefly naked before a flustered and apologetic MA ghost poofed his clothes back on, no one else saw it...except Tambry...who get's a rather nice flashback of that crazyman who talked of greek artwork and held her class hostage...

Ma and Pa let them go, Dipper then chews them out from outside the Store i.e. outside their dominion and beyond their influence. Making them realize they overstepped their boundaries in the mortal coil.

Everyone gets into Thompson's moms van, Dipper sits next to Wendy and falls asleep on her lap. And while they're riding back to the Shack and Dipper says he loves Wendy in his sleep she cries thinking 'he's mines...' THEN the Van hits a pot hole sending everyone bouncing in the air. That sudden motion rips Wendy's undershirt apart and sends Dipper flying into her bare chest.

...and a smirking Wendy happily keeps Dipper there...while a now very jealous Tambry watches...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	308. Wendy the Cougar 12

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

RasenganFin: I like it...not sure I'll be able to use some of it, but the last half definitely!

...III...

Tambry is in the diner when Wendy storms over to her and slams down her phone! "What the blood, is this!?" She shouted showing a naked Dipper in the middle of the splits.

Tambry smirked, "Ah, come on Wendy...you KNOW you enjoyed it."

Wendy glared, "Tambry, you sent this picture to everyone!"

Tambry shrugged, "So?"

Wendy gaped at her, "Tambry you can't do that! You really humiliated Dipper!"

Tambry chuckled, "Oh, like we DIDN'T humiliated all those boys we stole their clothes and forced them to streak home naked? Or like how you DIDN'T humiliate your ex's or Thompson by forwarding naked pics to everyone?" She snarked sarcastically.

Wendy blanched, "That...that was different."

"How?" Retorted Tambry flatly.

Wendy frowned at that...desperately searching for a reason... "Look, he risked his life and dignity for us...the least we could do is NOT humiliate him!" She affirms finally.

Tambry rolls her eyes, "Come on, I kept the Lamby dance secret(those picture were going to remain for her pleasure only!)."

Wendy growled, "That's not the issue! Learning about the pictures at the same time his family ridicules his manliness, while my dad also side-lined him completely humiliated him and caused him to run from the diner in tears!"

Tambry frowned at that...usually she'd laugh at a guy breaking down in tears of shame...but this time...this time felt wrong...

Tambry deletes as much of the photo's she posted out as was possible, then went out with Wendy to search for Dipper to make sure he was alright...

Tambry then thought of something, "Wait, what happened with his family and your father? They did make him cry after all..."

Wendy just smirked...

...in the middle of main street...

"Someone gouge out my eyes!" Screamed a naked, upside-down, tied up and bruised Mable as her eye's were tapped open and forced to look at the two equal battered, tied up, and naked old men...

...

They follow Dipper trail to a part of the forest...Wendy briefly hesitated as her father had warned her to stay away from this part of the woods as it was the territory of the 'man among men!' But concern for Dipper kept her going forward...

"Ugh, what smells like dirty laundry and BO!?" Asks Tambry with disgust as she and Wendy enter a cave...

 **MAN-OFF!**

...just in time for loincloth wearing Dipper to get in a screaming match with a bunch of giant hairy...men?

Wendy just blanched, "I...what?" She asks baffled as Tambry takes a picture.

"I'm totally stealing that loincloth from right off Dipper." Said Tambry as she walks off and vanishes into the crowd...

"WHAT!? TAMBRY COME BACK!" Shouts a flustered Wendy as she runs off to stop her friend from humiliating her other friend...while secretly wishing she succeeds...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	309. Twilight the cougar

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

...III...

Twilight whistled to herself as she reorganized her books for the seventh time while Spike took a seven hour bubble bath...it was then that she noticed that she got a special delivery from Princess Celestia...although she wanted to see what it was immediately, she hadn't finished putting the 'experimental' magic books back where they belonged. All the really dangerous one's were already sealed back inside the null-field book case where their magic was sealed, so it wouldn't be the worse thing to leave the lower tier books lying around for a few minutes longer...but still...it could be dangerous...

In the universe WE know, Twilight decides to take her time, give into her OCD impulses and put away all the books, THEN read Starswirls spell, leading to the fiasco/celebration we all know and life goes on as usual...

...this is not that universe...

"Whatever the Princess sent needs to take priority!" Decided Twilight as she left the books on the table and went to Celestia's package.

And so she hastily stacked the three remaining magic tomes0- '37 more ways to see the future ' _au naturale_ ', Quantum physics for dimwits and The Birds and THE DEUS EX MACHINA -on top each other and ran to get Celestia's package-

She was halfway their, before the tomes- their unstable magic having been activated and mixed together when thrown on the table together -activated and changed the world forever.

 **ZAP!**

...

Twilight groaned as she lay sprawled on the floor, "What- What just happened I- Twilight blinked...she was no longer in her tree...it was a city! A city of golden skyscrapers! The skies filled with gem-encrusted flying high-tech chariots!

Twilight gaped, "I- wha- What?!" She exclaimed in disbelief! Suddenly she was run into by a little filly...dressed as twilight!?

"Hey! Nice Princess Twilight costume!...but you forgot her wings!" Exclaimed the filly before she ran off-

"I- Wha- Wings?! Princess!? Wait, come back! What do you mean!? Where am I?!" She chases after her...and is stunned to soon find herself in a large festival...where everyone is dressed like her!? Everyone had balloons shaped like her?! Wha- Was that cupcake made to look like her face!?

Twilight could feel herself going faint...it was all too much!

And then the bugle blast was heard!

"HEAR YE! HEAR YE! HERE TO OFFICIATE OUR ONE MILLIONTH FRIENDSHIP FESTIVAL; OUR BENEVOLENT PRINCESS OF FRIENDSHIP, TWILIGHT PINES SPARKLE!" Shouted the herald.

Twilight felt even more woozy..

And what happened next didn't help...

For soon standing on the stage...was HER!

It was Twilight...but a far more radiant, majestic, ALICORN version! She was just as large as Celestia! Complete with a flowing mane that glittered like constellations!

Twilight could do nothing but gape amazed as SHE announced her blessings on this glorious occasion...

"GREETINGS ONE AND ALL! I EAGERLY AWAIT AS WE CELEBRATE OUR ONE MILLION YEARS OF HARMONY, PROSPERITY AND FRIENDSHIP!"

Everyone went crazy cheering for PRINCESS Twilight, thanking her for all their good fortune.

Princess Twilight gave a good natured chuckle, "You flatter me. But let's not forget I couldn't have done this alone...if not for you- my good citizens of Equestria and it's assorted 1,975 city-states -my friends- she points to...FIVE MORE ALICORNS!? THAT WERE HER FRIENDS!? WAS THAT AN ALICORN FLUTTERSHY MAKING OUT WITH DISCORD!?

Twilight was getting VERY woozy right now, she was flat out hyperventilating...

And the hits didn't stop there...

-and of course my beloved husband Dipper Pines!" Finishes Princess Twilight as she steps aside as someone new came forward-

"HUSBAND!?" Screamed the now very panicked Twilight. Fortunately her screams were covered up by the crowds cheering. Twilight was just about to start desperately screaming for it all to stop...when she was stunned into silence...

Standing proud on the stage was the most regal, most handsome, most stunning silky blue, gorgeous brown eye-d ALICORN male she had ever seen(well, technically it was the FIRST alicorn male she'd ever seen...but who cares?! Certainly not Twilight! He was SEXY!)

Twilight went red in the face as the two affectionately nuzzled each other...IN PUBLIC!

"It's hard to believe that had I not gone to Gravity Falls in the Year 2012XXXXQ A.F. I'd never find the love of my life! Not to mention without his help My friends would never have become alicorns to share eternity with me, the Jaberwocky would never have been slain, the riddle of SphUnx might never have been solved and Equestria might've been destroyed by Bill-

"Ah, Twilight! You give yourself too little credit! You totally could've done that yourself!" Said Dipper as he made out with her happily while everyone wolf whistled...

This was too much for Twilight...she faints away-

 **ZAP!**

-Which of course was the appropriate time for a portal to open and suck her back to her original time...

...

Twilight groaned as she was deposited painfully on the floor of her library, she lifted her head and rubbed it. "Wha- What...was that...real?"

She then laughed it off, "What am I saying? Of course it wasn't real! Me? An Alicorn princess?" She gives a dismissive snort, "Like that could ever happen! Well, enough daydreaming! Time to see Celestia's next assignment!" She says eagerly as she trots toward Celestia's package and a certain unfinished spell..

 **...several musical numbers, friendship fiasco's and a coronation later...**

Between her friends cutie-marks getting switched, Ponyville being turned upside down and becoming an Alicorn Princess. Twilight had almost completely forgotten about her 'dream'...which now seemed less like a dream...

Naturally, she decided to play it safe and talk to Princess Celestia about it. The princess did a scan of her.

"Huh, I don't know how to say this Twilight...but I'm detecting temporal energy I've only ever seen when Starswirl experimented with his time-spell-

"Wait, your saying I really DID go to the future!?" Exclaimed Twilight amazed.

"Briefly, but yes." Stated Celestia with interest.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Big time-travel, important events, all well and good." Dismissed Princess Candace with disinterest, she then immediately jumped toward her sister in-law excitedly. "Forget all that! Tell me about your future colt-friend!" She squeed excitedly!

A flustered Twilight then goes on to explain about the MALE alicorn and all the details regarding him...

Luna giggled, "A MALE alicorn? My I knew that was THEORETICALLY possible but..." She giggled again, "My, your quite the lucky mare Twilight." Teased the lunar Princess, causing Twilight to blush more.

Meanwhile, Celestia was deep in thought. Starswirls spell was basically a one-shot spell and unless a pony was able to unlock their true potential the hard way(Like Candace did) becoming an alicorn was almost impossible, simply to get Twilight ready had taken YEARS of preparation...for this 'Dipper' to make himself and five others alicorn was nothing short of extraordinary...as for the Jaberwocky, SphUnx and 'bill'...she'd NEVER heard of any of them!

"Are you sure it wasn't riddle of the SPHINX?" Asked Celestia confused.

Twilight shook her head, "No, future me DEFINITELY said SphUnx."

Celestia scratched her mane puzzled, "Well, I've never heard of that...or those other threats...however, if indeed this Dipper was the one to help us stop them it's imperative we find him quickly! By the sound of it, you meet him later this year! I think it important we speed that up!" She asserted.

"Lucky you", teased the alicorn of love playfully.

Twilight turned even more red, "But- but what if it's too early! Won't that effect the future negatively?"

Celestia smiled, "That's the nice thing about being in a dimension which is influenced by 'destiny', as long as you don't mess with a HUGE event- like, for example: the rainboom that gave you and your friends cutiemarks -quantum causality can be relied on to twist those small, unimportant details that no one really cares about so that your life will still go the same direction eventually."

"In other words: don't worry about it and let's get on with the plot!" Squealed Pinkie Pie happily. Everyone gave her a weird look...but just shrugged it off and moved on...

...

To their dismay, they could find no mention of any 'Gravity Falls' in any atlas or map. Fortunately, they were lucky to find a hundred year old cartographer at the royal archives who'd heard of it...

"Shoot, I barely remember that place..." He brings out an old and widely out of date almanac that was being used to prop up a broken chair leg and blows the dust off it. "I was barely an apprentice when we got word of some 'Quentin Trembly' fellow starting a new town out in the plot-end of nowhere..but the paperwork was all signed so we added it to this early draft of that years almanac- He pauses to blow dust off it. "Then when we went to get a census done of the place...the local lord; Nathaniel Northwest told us that Trembly botched the whole thing and the town was now a deserted ghost town. From the letters(and dead animals) he'd sent us, Trembly seemed like a madman. That, plus the spot he'd picked was the pretty much the worst possible place for ANY kind of settlement...between all that they had no reason to doubt him so they simply left Gravity Falls off the final draft and the whole thing more or less faded from memory.

Thanking him kindly, they took the information and used it to plot a course. Although the town apparently no longer was there...it was the only lead they had.

The princesses and the rest of the Mane Six quickly prepared for their trip...as well as-

"B.B.B.F.F? What are you doing here?" Asked Twilight confused.

Shining chuckled nervously, "What? Can't a guy just causally drop in to say hi to his wife and his sister?"

...there was a long pause...

"Your here to scope out my possible future colt-friend, aren't you?" Asked Twilight put-off.

Shining sighed, "Yeeeaaaahhh." He admitted with a sigh.

...

With that settled, they head off..and to their surprise, they do find Gravity Falls! Right where the map says it is! "How peculiar, why would the local lord say it had been abandoned?" Asked Luna.

"Eh, we'll worry about that later! Right now love needs to happen!" Exclaims Candace happily as she trots forward. She was so excited! Before all this, all her powers showed nothing but signs that showed Twilight being asexual and alone forever, but now...well, she didn't know enough about this stallion for her to get a good picture of their romantic future yet...but there DEFINITELY was potential for a hook-up!

In any case, they had a quick talk with a local-

"Horns AND wings? ...are you lot witches?" Asked an earth pony named Sprott.

The group looked at him weird, "Uh, no, were alicorns." Said Twilight confused.

Sprott looked at them blankly, then shrugged. "Eh, close enough- BURN THEM!" He screams suddenly as he whips out a torch from nowhere, summoning an angry mob- ALSO, seemingly from nowhere.

...

After easily defeating the idiotic mob, they got information for where the Pines family lived. It was a dilapidated shack on the outskirts of town...

"Mystery...hack?" Asked Rainbow Dash confused as he read the sign on the roof.

Twilight took a deep breath, she made sure the fancy dress Rarity made for her was unruffled, her make-up was still good, her friends, family and mentor give her some encouraging words, she then trots toward the door and knocks.

 _"Okay, Twilight...be cool...the pony that comes through this door will be the most amazing special somepony that a mare can have!"_

"WHAT!? WHAT DO YOU WANT!?" Snapped a rather fat, ugly, grey earth pony Stallion wearing a fez as he burst out the door.

Twilight's eye's widen in horror as he burped and scratched himself right in front of her! "Uh...Dipper Pines?" She asks with dread...

The pony gives her a weird look, "What? No, STAN pines...Dipper is my nephew!"

"Oh, thank Faust." Said twilight to herself relieved, she then turns to the rather rotund pony- desperately ignoring his stench, "Uh...is Dipper here?"

Stan gives her an inquisitive look, "What, you gonna abduct him or something?"

"What!?" Shouts Twilight shocked. "My good pony, I would never-

"Just make sure he's back before summer ends, otherwise do what you want. That noddle-arm could use some toughening up." Interrupts Stan. While Twilight gaps in horror, an eager Candace, Pinkie pie and Rainbow Dash suddenly brings out some rope and shackles...which they immediately get ride of under Celestia's withering glare...

Before twilight can say anything, Stan turns around and shouts- "HEY KID! GET YOUR PLOT DOWN HERE! YOU GOT SOMEONE TO TAKE YOU OUT OF MY HANDS FOR AWHILE!" He growls out as he trots back inside.

Twilight just blinked confused for a moment, then closed her eyes to compose herself. _"Okay, false alarm. But this time for real...MY FUTURE HUSBAND AND THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!"_

"Uh...hello?"

Twilight smiled and opened her eyes...then was dumbstruck. She immediately knew he was the same pony she saw in the future. Same silky blue fur, same gorgeous brown eyes that seemed to peer into her soul...

...but that wasn't the main feature that was causing her to gap in disbelieving horror right now...

"Uh...wow...princess Twilight?" Asked the little blue COLT as he looked up at her happily.

Twilight just blinked as the pre-teen boy who was supposed to be her husband...and whimpered, "Oh, boy..."

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


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